The truth though, is that you cannot blame yourself for feeling the way you feel for the things that surround you. When you cry yourself to sleep, it’s not because you want to cry, it’s because at that moment, that’s the only thing you are capable of doing. You also cannot blame yourself for wishing you forget things that make you sad the next day because again, at that moment, the pain you feel along with melancholy is so much to bare that you want to stay away from it as soon as you can.

You cannot blame yourself.

Nonetheless, you wake up the next day feeling all different. It seems like the person you were last night was a completely different person. So, you celebrate the day and believe you’re okay, but then when the night comes again, you find it pretty hard to fall asleep…like you always do. Same thing would happen over again- just like the night before that, and the many other nights that preceded.

It’s like a cycle. But like all other cycles, this one, too, has an end. It cannot go on forever. That is one thing we should cling to- that nothing is ever permanent. When we want something to last- the tendency of things to change is what we fear, but we must also keep in mind that when we want to get rid of something- may it be an emotion, a person, an unwanted circumstance, impermanence never leaves the world.

Nothing could go on forever. When things change, it could be how you always wanted it to…or maybe not. When that happens, you always have the choice to do something about it…or maybe not.

Choice. That’s what you always have. You never run out of choices. Even choosing the better choice is a choice you have to make. So, when something is a reason for both your joy and pain, weigh the emotions. You know better. You know just how much you can take. So long as you can keep fighting, do so. You should just know when to stop.

Because during the nights that you cry yourself to sleep, you have no one else with you but yourself. So, when you’ve done enough mourning and grieving- agonizing yourself, you are free to stop.

Some nights, you’ll simply realize that when you made the choice to be happy, you were right.

Probably a lot of things on my mind right now. But I don’t see them that clearly, they are hazy at best. I am not tensed or anything but I am not able to go to sleep.

Maybe this will serve as a good example to remind me that people who have disassociated their happiness from external events and attached them to internal milestones are in a true sense of saying, really free.They are free from the despair of losing friends. They are free from guilt of helping undeserving people. They are free from the burden of the mistakes they have made.

The reason I like such people is because of the twinkle in their eyes which acknowledges their acceptance of the mistakes and the fact that given the chance, they will choose that mistake again.

Freedom from fear. Freedom from thoughts.
Gift of a comfortable sleep. Gift of the silence.

This is something a lot of us have to learn. The ability to put the chaos of the mind to the rest and pick them up again at the right moment.

A lot of philosophy to feel all wise and useless.Yes, philosophy is cheap and I think I am addicted to writing something before I go to sleep.Feel like this dose of writing is working. Maybe I will finally manage to catch up with some sleep and catch my office bus in the morning.

P.S. – Wanted to answer a question(
http://tinyurl.com/bsy3ztl
) on Quora but couldn’t after reading some really wonderful answers by my fellow Indians. A country of so many bright citizens and the state of the country. Sigh!

Saying goodbye to faith

Drifting through the endless dark

watching the wild, feeling the bark.

Untamed twigs falling from trees

soft buzzing, the sound of bees.

Long and low murmuring winds

woods go on, subtly thinned.

Bitter sweet song of roused birds

nothing to you, idle words.

Dawn breaks the light is so soft

creeping in around the edge

falling down the snow hill sledge.

Before you feel it, the burn.

Sleepless night you toss and turn.

The question is long in debate

wondering about your fate.

The drawn out howl of tired wolves,

all that hate and you are gone.

Do any of my fellow bloggers suffer from insomnia? If you do then leave a comment with how you usually deal with it, and give tips how you prevent it

Stay Smiling,
Abigail xoxo

Write about the beauty of night.
What beauty is there that you
cannot even see? The darkness
is not welcoming, it is used to
being alone. So when I sit up,
blurring lines, I find its hands
pushing me into the bed,
pulling my eyelids down to protest.
But I don’t like to listen
except to the lines blurring.
So I sit up thinking, dreaming, writing,
and enjoying the silence that night
maintains while blurring lines.

And this is not the kind of not-sleeping that comes with Mania, where you’re hyper and creative and even a lint ball can seem vastly amusing. This is the kind of not-sleeping where you’re eyelids feel fat and puffy, you don’t care about what’s happening around you because you can’t focus, your eyes burn, your muscles actually ache, yet when you lay down to sleep abso-fuckin-lutely nothing happens.

I even took a sleeping pill last night. Guess how great you feel when you take a sleeping pill but never actually fall asleep.

Also it’s one of those days where I feel ugly. I just got my hair cut, and until today have been quite happy with it. Somehow, over night, my brain has decided that it’s actually a boring hair style.

This will probably go away by tomorrow, as when I’m this tired and grumpy I tend to spontaneously hate things I previously loved.

Like life.

I use the word spontaneously a lot.

Lately have you been unhappy or sad or mad? Life has not been too kind lately?

• Going through a Divorce
• Recently Divorced
• Relationship just ended
• Laid Off Work
• Fired From Job
• Too many deadlines
• Stress of too many roles to fulfill
• Tired of lines at stores
• Angry
• Feel sad
• Depressed
• High Anxiety
• Cannot sleep
• Wish things were different
• Cry more lately
• Just plain ole unhappy
• Disappointed
• Things are not going your way
• Lack money
• hard to pay rent or mortgage payment
• kids driving you nuts
• your sports team not winning
• you did not get to hunt this year
• not enough time for outdoors
• too much work
• not enough play time
• no one to love
• alone
• worried
• long winter ahead
• blues settling in
• melancholy days
• no energy
• disorganized
• wish things were different
• have a great laugh and like laughing
• have no sense of humor, but would like to feel better
• tired of hearing yourself complain
• tired of the way things are

You are a perfect candidate for FREE LAUGHTER YOGA CLASS !

Laughter Yoga originated back in March of 1995 in India by Dr. Kataria and his wife Madhuri and three friends.

Fast forward and there are over 6,000 Laughter Clubs in over 60 Countries and it is here in Atlanta, GA.

Laughter Yoga is a form of moderate fun exercise, combined with yogic breathing and laughter. No Yoga Poses to learn. No special clothes or mats or shoes.
Attendees wear their usual clothes and come with an open mind and embrace a 45 minute session. About 30 minutes of Laughter exercises that produces serotonin and dopamine that makes the participant feel better. Studies have told us that even 10 minutes of constant laughing is like rowing in a gym for 30 minutes.

It is 30 x easier to laugh in a group than alone.

The thing is… we need sustained laughter to produce this effect. Movies and TV only produces very short bursts of laughter so is not the same thing. Movies and TV are helpful to boost one’s mood but Laughter Yoga is the process that gets real results you feel and creates feelings of JOY, HAPPINESS, CONNECTIVENESS, WELL-BEING, IMPROVED HEALTH, ALLEVIATES OUR ABOVE MENTIONED NEGATIVE FEELINGS.

Open to the Public. Basically FREE! Small Donations gladly accepted.

Click here to get the schedule and learn more. In Atlanta, GA

Do yourself a favor, who else will? Decide to take a chance and embrace something new.

Get out of the house and join us.

Laughter Yoga participants you will find are about the friendliest people on earth. Full of Laughter and fun.

CONTACT:

Rev. Richard Taylor, CLYL, CLWI
Certified Laughter Yoga Leader
Certified Laughter Wellness Instructor

ATLANTA - LAUGHTER - YOGA

5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 404-698-8355
Fax: 1-866-551-1253

Web: www.atlanta-laughter-yoga.com
E-mail: revrichardtaylor@gmx.com

It sounds crazy but I actually enjoyed getting rid of the clutter in the wee hours of the morning. I even unscrewed the plastic board on my TV rack and managed to carry the TV (it’s an old school TV) down while I wiped off all the dust accumulated on the wooden top. There is a wooden chair in my room with a bunch of old toys. It brought back memories from the time I was collecting Pog and lookinv through the viewmaster. I love these toys but I think it’s time to give these toys away. But to do this, I have to make sure the oldies aren’t looking as they have a problem with givig away old stuff. Before I knew it it was already 5 am. I hear my tummy rumbling and thankfully our househelp was already up. She prepared breakfast and I felt accomplished as I looked at my tidy, tidy room.

It feels good to start off the week having accomplished something, even if it as simple as cleaning my room.

… BLINK BLINK BLINK… -2012

I just want time to waste time.  I want to watch hilarious videos all day.  Ever heard of the nostalgia critic?  He creates hilarious videos that I could watch all day with my mom or dad (with the disclaimer that he is occasionally inappropriate).  I could do all sorts of stupid things on the internet, like watch let’s plays, read comics, watch youtube videos for hours, etc.  I would watch television for days, play video games with my siblings, and search for new singers and artists to add to my playlist because I do not listen to very many people.  I would listen to music and dance more often.  I would take walks with my dog and my parents more and not worry about coming home at a certain time.  I would play french horn with my mom while she played flute more often.  I would read more books and watch more movies with my family.  I would eat dinner with my family and play board games with them.  I would wander the mall for hours and try on clothes, listen to music, smell foods, go to candy stores, try on make up, etc.  I would clean up the house for fun.  I would call a friend.  I would learn to knit from my mom and we would knit a blanket together.  I would ride my bike, and bake all sorts of cookies with my mom in her kitchen aid mixer.

I wish there was more time to be bored.  I love my hectic life and having it filled with fun but busy activities, but I so badly want to relax.  I want to be bored for a while.  I do not want pressures or expectations for a few weeks.  Just a couple weeks, then I would want it to end.  I just want to live in this wonderland of freedom and simplicity.  I guess I just have to wait until heaven?

I think the government should implement a national Bored Week/Day.  Well, maybe you would not have to title it that.  It would be like a sabbath week, in a way?  A do whatever your heart desires without worrying about what is coming up week.  That would be so convenient.  Maybe my introvert side is just coming out right now, but that sounds so relaxing, I am such a homebody sometimes.

It is getting so incredibly late.  I do not want to sleep.  I want to waste time.  Well, hopefully I will fall asleep.

Later,

Kelsey.

There are a series of events which can co-relate to the same. I will list them below:

1) You’ve returned home at night, after the 5th round of interview hoping that, next morning can employ you.

2) A close member of your family has passed away and they await your arrival for the funeral, the next morning.

3) You commit a mistake, which has effect something drastically, could result in end of something, the next morning.

4) You come home and find your have been robbed and await until morning, till your roommate steps in, who accidentally/carelessly left the door open.

5) You park your damaged car silently under the hood, the next morning should be a one on one with your father.

6) Your loved one say, “its over” and next morning, it really is.

7) When someone doesn’t kiss you online, does not even say “good night” and get offline, there’s nothing you can do about it until next morning.

8) You have an early morning flight of 12 hours and its 03:00 in morning and you’ve not slept yet.

9) Your Boss has given you a task, you failed to complete the same and it feels like morning, already.

10) Examination hall’s imagination, planning a seating arrangement to cheat and by morning, realizing that studying would have helped.

11) When your mother asked not to do something & yet you did it and she has slept for the night, you just hope the next morning your father takes her for a holiday.

12) Your car broke on a highway, no-one to toe it, of course, all you do is wait in your car until morning.

13) When BBM stops working, this has happened to all the BlackBerry users, they just wished for a BBM morning.

14) You witness a crime scene and try to forget those images & by morning, you cannot feel better.

15) Waiting outside an operation theater in a hospital and Dr. says, I can only give a feed on the patient in morning.

This is what generally happens in a normal life of a normal person and we happen to live with all these events, there can be more and it only makes this night tough to think about more, therefore I finish with 15. Match them with your life, I guarantee 8 matches for everyone who reads this.

How's that for jet lag?

Did You Get Enought Sleep Last Night?

John was an executive with a large international company and used to traveling on business all over the world. Even though he would fly first class and sleep on the plane, the constant change of time zones caused his internal sleep clock to malfunction. The perpetual changes meant that his body’s normal 24 hour rhythm was completely out of sync with the time zone in which he lived and therefore with his own body. The sleep problems started when he retired and had to slow down and adjust to a totally different routine. He had never developed hobbies and found himself stressed from lack of having a scheduled life. His sister suggested that he try CES (cranial electrotherapy stimulation) such as found in The Sleep Genie to help him relax and adjust his body to a regular sleep pattern. She warned him against starting with sleeping pills which are only a temporary fix but can become very habit forming. She explained that CES works to adjust your body’s internal clock to stay on its natural 24 hour cycle so that your body will provide the natural cues to fall asleep and stay asleep. John also got back into the habit of going to bed and waking up at the same time just like when he worked.  He used the device for 30 minutes in the evening while watching television and within a few weeks he was sleeping normally once again. John is so happy he got away from using drugs and instead used a totally natural way to permanetly correct his sleep problems.

Tova had her second daughter at the age of 39 and, being in a management position with her firm, was not able to take a long enough maternity leave.  Returning to work when her daughter was only three months old caused her great stress and anxiety because she felt torn between her responsibilities to her child and her commitment to her career. This heightened anxiety resulted in many sleepless nights which began to jeopardize not only her ability to function at work but made her too tired to enjoy and play with her newborn when she got home. It became a vicious cycle of stress and sleeplessness. After checking her out and not finding any physical reason for the insomnia, her doctor’s solution was to give her a prescription for sleeping pills. He assured her that in time she would be able to sleep without them. How wrong he was. Despite knowing that drugs were only a temporary fix her doctor continued to renew the prescription year after year. It wasn’t until she decided to get off this merry-go-round and did some research into sleep problems that she discovered what other doctors already knew, that CES technology ws the answer to her problem. Within two weeks of using the Sleep Genie daily, she found herself falling asleep within a few minutes of lying down and after six weeks of use, she was actually sleeping through the night once again. You see, CES technology works with the body’s own electrical component to safely and easily re-set your sleep clock, so that it functions normally once again. Do to the fact that CES has no unpleasant side effects and that it will not interfere with any other medications  you might already be taking … makes this the ultimate natural sleep aid device. No more sleeping pills … finally a totally natural way of permanetly fixing sleep problems.

Not Enough Sleep Last Night?

Wayne quit smoking cold turkey, after smoking a pack a day for nearly thirty years. He succeeded by sheer virtue of resolve because he really wanted to rid himself of his terrible addiction. What he didn’t realize was how much of his daily stress was being relieved by smoking cigarettes. Before doing that, he should of taken steps to boost his immune system because of the shock to the body of the withdrawal from the nicotine. But like most of us, he was too busy working to pay attention.  Suddenly he was stopped dead in his tracks by an attack of shingles which left him with permanent nerve damage on both sides of his head, called post herpetic neuralgia. To combat this newly found pain, his doctors put him on an anti-depressant and told him that this should help him deal with the pain but in all actuality, the pills did nothing more than ruin his sleep and the lack of sleep, further depleted his immune system.  Finally he threw away the pills because of all the other negative side effects such as weight gain, sensitivity to sunlight, dry mouth, constant irritability, etc. No more drugs became his motto.  A few years later his chronic pain specialist told him that he had heard of a device using CES technology called The Sleep Genie which worked with the body’s own electrical component to reduce stress, allowing sleep to once again come about naturally. That little device, used daily actually saved his life and his marriage. Finally he was able to sleep properly once again. His pain was also diminished and while he is not free of it – he can at least endure it and enjoy life again. No more pills was the best part of the fix – no more chemicals in the mix – finally a natural solution for a change, which was more than welcome. Now he has his life back once again.

No More Sleeping Pills

Sheila is 70 years old. When she was 55 she was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Fortunately it was removed successfully and after chemo therapy she was told that she was healed. The only problem was that this tumultuous invasion of her body – both the disease and the cure – left her with severe sleep problems. Her doctors of course did what most doctors do and gave her a prescription for sleeping pills. She struggled with that so called “solution” for more than 20 years. She knew all along that this was not a remedy – just a one night quick fix which over time actually aggravated the problem because her body got used to the medication, so the sleeping pills no longer helped her. One late night she was watching The Shopping Channel  on TV and heard about a new consumer sleep aid product called, The Sleep Genie. Due to the fact that she was suffering from complete sleep deprivation, she decided to order one.  And being a very determined lady, she slowly stopped taking the pills and used the device instead for an hour every day for while watching TV in the evening.  She felt the effects almost immediately and by the end of six weeks, she was able to fall asleep on her own and stay asleep for at least 6-7 hours – something she had not been able to do in almost two decades. Today she sleeps very well …thanks to The Sleep Genie.

Can't Sleep ...Feeling Anxious?

Mira is a talented teen ager who can dance like a pro and has a stage presence of a seasoned actress. But all this high energy also makes her high strung and nervous and she finds it hard to settle down at the end of the day in order to fall asleep. Because she is a teen-ager her natural sleep clock has not finished developing and so, like most children her age, she has problems sleeping. Most nights, as bed time approaches, she begins to worry that she won’t be able to sleep and that makes her more agitated, compounding the problem even further. Her mother no longer knew how to help her until her doctor suggested that perhaps they should consider a low dose anti-depressant. Luckily Mira’s mother became more concerned with the cure than the problem and searched out a second opinion. That’s when she learned about the restorative powers of CES technology which was actually invented more than 50 years ago. CES, or cranial electrotherapy stimulation, gently and safely works with the body’s own electrical component to reduce stress and re-set the body’s internal sleep clock so that sleep comes easily and naturally, once again. Now before Mira settles into bed at night she uses The Sleep Genie while reading for half an hour and then falls asleep easily. Knowing she has this device to help her has literally changed her life and made her feel more confident and self assured which was extremely important to her a person. Now she is back on track and doing well in daily life once again.

If you are tired all the time, this can be very dangerous to your life. Sleeping properly is like eating and breathing …. you gotta get it or you will have nothing but problems. Poor or no sleep causes accidents, loss time at work, causes poor family communications, etc. So make sure you get 7-8 hours of good sleep nightly.

This insomnia problem seems to be happening to me more and more frequently.  And I don’t know what to do about it.  It’s not like I went to bed and just could not fall asleep.  Oh, no.  I was drifting off just fine when J walked into the bedroom on his way to take a shower.  I was right on the brink of sound sleep when he came in.  It’s not like he barged in or anything.  He was very quiet, in fact.  It was the simple sound of the door opening that ripped me away from my trip to Dreamland and had me lying there wide awake.

I have to teach 3 Zumba classes tomorrow morning.  One is a 20-minute demo at Downtown Yoga (you should check out the website.  Our bios and photo are up) but still…  It’s a commitment that I need to honor tomorrow.  And I need to look alive and upbeat.  My alarm is set to go off at 6:45 AM and here I am typing away at the keyboard.  I’m going to be a brain dead zombie instead of alive and upbeat.  Sweet.

I’ve tried taking a series of deep cleansing breaths, reading my book, tensing then relaxing my muscles, clearing my mind, Tylenol Simply Sleep (which seems to have the opposite effect on me, by the way), counting sheep, you name it, to lure my body into sleep.  But nothing seems to be working.  Ugh.  It’s so frustrating.

Well, I’m yawning a lot now as I write this post.  That’s a good sign, right?  Maybe I’ll try to hit the hay once again.  Wish me luck.

Sky so dark
Stars so bright
Sound so low
Sleeping lost.