I was prompted to write this when I read this month’s excellent cover story on the FLDS in the National Geographic.  I’m sure most of my readers recall the saga that played out on national television in 2008 when the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services removed 437 children from the Yearning for Zion Ranch in Eldorado, TX after receiving what turned out to be a hoax phone call alleging widespread sexual abuse there by FLDS men.  This seizure led to the largest child custody battle in U.S. history, which resulted in the eventual return of all the children to the compound when the Third Court of Appeals ruled in favor of the families.  An excellent account of the events leading up to the confrontation written by Katy Vine was recently published by TexasMonthly [preview available here].

When this story broke nationally I was struck as were many others at the fact that this group was committed to homeschooling.  My book was about to come out, so it was too late to include anything about the group in it, but I had written a bit about earlier Mormon homeschooling.  Though Utah Mormons eventually embraced public education for the most part, Brigham Young himself and many other early Mormons relied on homeschooling to educate their children.  Mormons played a key role in the 1980s homeschooling movement as well, with figures like Joyce Kinmont providing leadership and collaborating sometimes with other homeschooling activists.  So it is not surprising that a group of Fundamentalist Mormons who believe that the mainline Mormon Church has fallen away would return to the historic Mormon practice of homeschooling.

The FLDS has outposts in many places other than the Yearning for Zion Ranch (YFZ).  In fact, as Vine’s article explains, the YFZ site didn’t even exist until 2003, when Arizona and Utah government officials began cracking down on FLDS practices in those states.  FLDS leaders fled to the Texas site because of sparse population and laws allowing consensual marriage of 14 year-olds.  In only a few months the YFZ ranch grew to a population in the thousands, and distrustful neighbors worked to raise the age of legal marriage.  Though the actual phone call provoking the government raid was from out of state, tensions between FLDS members and other locals had been high for several years.  As Vine tells it, something was bound to happen eventually.

It turns out that the FLDS has been in the news with respect to homeschooling before.  Back in 2000, when much of the Church lived along the Arizona-Utah border near Colorado City, AZ, the Church made headlines when leader Warren Jeffs called for a massive exodus of the Church’s children from the public schools, urging them to be homeschooled using a FLDS curriculum instead.  As Education Week reported in its Sept. 13, 2000 issue, enrollment in the Colorado City Unified School District in 2000 dropped from 988 to 350, and 2/3 of the teaching force and staff resigned as well.  In neighboring Hildale, Utah, enrollment in one elementary school dropped from 220 to 96, and 11 of the 13 teachers resigned.  When this mass exodus occurred, few of the families filed affidavits as required by Utah and Colorado if a parent wishes to homeschool.

Four years later Colorado City School District was back in the news because it had run out of money.  Its Superintendent Alvin Barlow, a member of the FLDS, had tried to sound upbeat despite the massive exodus in 2000, but by 2004 his district was penniless and he was under investigation for possible mismanagement of funds.  All of this is reported in the November 14, 2004 issue of Education Week.

The National Geographic story explains how prior to 1986 the FLDS had been a relatively decentralized, loose organization whose titular leader was “an avuncular man named Leroy Johnson” (51).  But upon Johnson’s death in ‘86 leadership shifted to the Jeffs family, whose patriarch Rulon was declared Prophet and went about consolidating power.  Though Rulon didn’t die until 2002, by 2000 his son Warren was largely running the church, and his homeschooling call was part of a larger and longer pattern of increasing isolation from mainstream, or “gentile” society, and a more thoroughgoing return to 19th century Mormon practices.

Toward the end of the National Geographic story, after discussing many of the controversies within the movement (including alleged dumping of excess males, strong discipline of dissent, genetic disease due to inbreeding, and the widespread practice of marrying off girls as young as 12) author Scott Anderson makes a remarkable statement.  After quoting Melinda Fischer Jeffs’ glowing appraisal of Prophet Warren Jeffs, Anderson notes,

Melinda’s defense of Jeffs underscores one of the most curious aspects of the polygamous faith: the central role of women in defending it…. Today FLDS women in the Hildale-Colorado City area have ample opportunity to ‘escape’–they have cell phones, they drive cars, there are no armed guards keeping them in–yet they don’t. (57)

Some FLDS women have in fact “escaped” (placed in quotes by Anderson because that’s the title of the memoir of former FLDS member Carolyn Jessop), but most of them are the sect’s strongest defenders.  Why?  Partly, Anderson thinks, it’s because the closed world of the FLDS makes the thought of trying to live on the outside  a scary prospect indeed.  But the real lure for women, says Anderson, is power:

The FLDS women I spoke with tended to be far more articulate and confident than the men, most of whom seemed paralyzed by bashfulness….As a result, what has all the trappings of a patriarchal culture, actually has many elements of a matriarchal one. (57)

Anderson’s observation has been made by others studying other conservative religious homeschooling subcultures.  In my book I stressed how a movement that defines itself so powerfully as anti-feminist in many ways reflects feminist ideals–empowered women raising domesticated boys and strong daughters, for example.  Brad Wilcox made similar claims for the broader evangelical world from the male side in his book Soft Patriarchs, New Men: How Christianity Shapes Fathers and Husbands.

Perhaps what’s most interesting in all of this is that in many ways (modest dress, submissive demeanor, quiverfull families, homespun living) these Mormon polygamists are the living embodiment of the ideals celebrated by other Christian homeschoolers.  I’m not sure what Doug Phillips or Geoffrey Botkin would think of this, but there it is.

I remember reading part of The Naked Luncha few years back…actually, a lot of years back and found it quite strange, and thus didn’t finish it, but never discarded it and planned on reading it later down the line (I have the book on my shelf now). About a month ago I heard from a friend of a friend about his other book (his, meaning William S. Burroughs) called Junkyand thus picked it up and began reading it. It had me quite captivated for it took you on a journey of his drug induced days back East, but the book lost me towards the end.

Burroughs started talking about this little town about a page and a half which diverted greatly from the flow of the story that once he got back on track I lost interest. I guess it shows it doesn’t take much for me to lose interest in a story.

I did finish Junky and realized how repetitive it was…he got started on junk, met cool people, met shady people, his friends ended up in the hoosegaw, he got off junk, got back on junk, met cool people, met shady people, HE ended up in the hoosegaw, etc., etc.. In the beginning the book intrigued me, but then it started getting repetitive and rather boring, but its like a bad movie, you want to see how it ends.

As a fanatic of books, I enjoy having another book to read right after the other and I finally found one to read called Escapeby Carolyn Jessop with Laura Palmer (not to be confused with Twin Peaks’s Laura Palmer – HA!) which tells the story of Carolyn being born into, living in and escaping from the FLDS (Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints), or most commonly known as Polygamy (plural marriage). I think outside of Anne Rule’s Everything She Ever Wantedand Too Late To Say Goodbye I don’t think I’ve read anything more profound. She speaks of her childhood with one mother and then ending up with two mothers. Her sister’s escape at a young age and her desire to learn and get a good education, but in between were the beatings by her biological mother Nurylon. I am currently reading the chapter in which she is talking about her arranged marriage to Merril Jessop:

Merril Jessop (born about 1935) is believed to be the de-facto leader of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FLDS Church), after its former leader, Warren Jeffs, resigned when he was convicted as an accomplice to rape in 2007. Head of the YFZ Ranch, Jessop has been a lifelong member of the church.

According to his former wife’s memoir Jessop is the father of more than fifty biological children with at least five wives. His senior wife, Faunita, who suffered from mental illness and was the mother of at least 15 children, was literally abandoned by the roadside when the cult was moved to Texas and became a ward of one of her grandchildren living in the mainstream Mormon community. Jessop is believed to have taken many more wives since the departure of Carolyn. According to his ex-wife’s book, Jessop has nebulous business interests that include construction and hotels and has suffered from major heart problems in recent years.Source Wikipedia

I learned of this book after watching Secret Lives of Women: War On Polygamywhich focused on two women who escaped/left the “cult” (and I use the word very loosely as to not offend anyone) after years of endurance. I was absolutely mesmerized by what these women went through and what they witnessed, but more importantly the courage they gained to escape their environment.

Barnes and Noble best describes the book:

Escape exposes a world tantamount to a prison camp, created byreligious fanatics who, in the name of God, deprive their followers the right to make choices, force women to be totally subservient to men, and brainwash children in church-run schools. Against this background, Carolyn Jessop’s flight takes on an extraordinary, inspiring power. Not only did she manage a daring escape from a brutal environment, she became the first woman ever granted full custody of her children in a contested suit involving the FLDS. And in 2006, her reports to the Utah attorney general on church abuses formed a crucial part of the case that led to the arrest of their notorious leader, Warren Jeffs.

I highly recommend this book to any and everyone but I ask that no one confuses the Mormon church beliefs with the FLDS’s beliefs.

Far right: Katherine Heigl, producer and star of a movie adaptation of "Escape." Photo: Katherine Heigl Online

Mormons are trending in Hollywood. In addition to HBO’s show, “Big Love,” at least two movies are in the works. Both of them are based on memoirs by people who were involved with polygamist Warren Jeffs.

Katherine Heigl (“Grey’s Anatomy”) will be producing and starring in an adaptation of Carolyn Jessop’s book, “Escape.” Jessop was 18 when she married a man who was 32 years older.  Later, she ran away from the sect with her eight children.

Movie studios have also acquired the rights to Elissa Wall’s bestselling memoir, “Stolen Innocence.” Wall’s testimony helped convict Jeffs of being an accomplice to rape. Jeffs, a former sect leader, forced Wall to marry her cousin when she was only 14 years old.

Hopefully, there will also be films giving insight to a religion that’s still, for the most part, shrouded in secrecy.

While some have made brief comments on the significance of this decision, no one has really commented in depth on this.

I am not aware of any other case where a plural wife escaped from the FLDS and was able to pursue child support, although I suppose it is possible.

What has happened in the past is that if the women fled, they were unable to fight the FLDS’s massive resources and often lost custody of their children to boot. 

What matters is that in this case, Carolyn Jessop was able to secure the support that Merril Jessop was obligated to provide.  She would not have been able to do so had Natalie Malonis not done the legal work necessary to bring Merril before a court of law and to hold his feet to the fire.

First, she filed in Texas and was able to fend off Merril’s attempts to further delay the proceedings by his frivilous motion in Utah.  Second, she was able to do the backgound investigation necessary to prove his resources, and to call him on it when he tried to deceive the court by denying involvement or providing false information.  It is hard for a witness to be deemed credible by the judge when they are caught in lie after lie by the opposing party’s lawyer.  She also knew the FLDS culture enough to ask him why he didn’t support his children – and that his answer would sink his case.

One thing to remember is that when someone goes against a member of the FLDS, the person isn’t just fighting the respondent, they are fighting the entire FLDS and their resources.  Most plaintiffs just don’t have the resources or the stamina to fight that type of organized structure.

In addition, whoever fights the FLDS also has to deal with their typical abuse.  They will, either directly or through proxies like Medvecky, slander and abuse anyone that dares to stand up to the ‘priesthood.’  The former member(s) are denigrated as lying apostates, and the ‘Gentiles’ that are working to help them are agents of the devil.  Most lawyers do not want to deal with this, and pass on taking that type of case.

To win, one has to be aware of all the above and be able to penetrate the secrecy of the sect.  This is where Malonis really showed her strength.  She had knowledge of how the FLDS operated, and prepared the evidence to show that.  Remember, at the settlement agreement hearing, she withdrew her evidenciary exhibits – and speculating on that, I would assume that it was a requirement of Merril and the FLDS leadership as a condition of settling.  Not only did the exhibits make Merril look bad, it made the entire FLDS look bad.  Had she not had history and knowledge of how they operated through her prior dealings, I doubt that other attorneys would have known what type of evidence to present to bring the presure to bear.

One should remember, during the negotiations, the entire FLDS heirarchy went in with Merril and Amy Hennington to decide on the settlement offer – it was an FLDS decision, not one merely by Merril.

Carolyn Jessop has set the example of what other FLDS women can do, if they want to escape their own abusive marriages.  She is a strong woman who is a hero to me (and who should be one to you), but the one that made this possible was Natalie Malonis.  If I were the FLDS, I would worry if she were involved in any other cases involving them.  Both deserve recognition for what they have achieved.

Finally Merril Jessop will begin to meet his responsibilities to his children.  Apparently Amy Hennington saw the handwriting on the wall after Merril’s disastrous testimony and persuaded her client to agree to terms.

He has agreed to settle with Carolyn and the settlement has been read into the record of the court.  Based on the limited information that I have at this time, it is a good deal for the children.  It includes retroactive support for the past years that he has dodged his obligation, and provides for lifetime support for Harrison (who is severely disabled). 

A large amount was awarded in retroactive support and he agree on paying the statutory cap on the prospective child support (in other words, the presumptive maximum amount).

Congratulations to Carolyn, Natalie, and Angela.

Updated information is in Italics…

The trial for setting child support is going on as I post this.  Since it was supposed to start at 2:00 PM and is currently still underway at 5:30 PM, I would assume that the matter of subject matter jurisdiction was resolved and that Judge Walther has the authority to hear the case.  The trial was still in session as of about 7:00 PM.

If so, Merril is not going to be happy – as a Texas Judge is not going to let him slide on his obligation to support his children.

As more develops, I will update this, but we do know that there may have been an attempt last night, possibly by the FLDS, to scare off Carolyn, when police responded to a call of shots fired near the location that some of the parties or witnesses for the case were staying.  The incident was reported in the San Angleo Standard-Times.  Although not noted in the article, my source indicated that Carolyn was not the reporting party.

In any event, there is a rumor that a Texas Ranger will testify to authenticate documents seized in the raid and to get them admitted into evidence – presumably these will be financial records showing Merril’s interests in various companies and/or Warren’s dictations, directing Merril to hide his assets from Carolyn to avoid paying child support.  Neither will bode well for Merril.

Natalie Malonis has filed a new motion in the child support case that does two things.  First, it asks for a partial continuance to conduct discovery, and second, gives notice that she intends to bring other parties into the case due to the fraudulent transfer of assets from Merril to third parties.

We’ll look at the second issue first.  We know from the dictations that Warren Jeffs instructed Merril to divest himself of all property to keep Carolyn from getting child support.  We know that Merril was instructed to keep his name off of ranch assets for the same reason.

So it looks like Natalie is about to include such FLDS members as Lyle and Willie, et al, in the case.  All will be subject to discovery, and this being a civil case, there is no right to remain silent.  They may of course, invoke their Miranda rights but the court can then make reasonable inferences from that silence.

Now, back to the discovery issue.  Merril will be given a set of interrogatories or questions that he will have to answer, and/or be required to produce financial records.  For example, he can be required to list the name, time frame, and amount paid either by himself or on his behalf for all of his lawyers and accountants.  Any bank accounts.  All property that he owned since Carolyn left, and the current status of that property.  How and to who any such property was transfered…

What do you want to bet that he refuses to answer the questions?

The simple solution would be to settle – but regardless of whether Amy Hennington is smart enough to recommend this, I doubt that Merril will follow that advice.

Here is the motion…

Motion for Partial Continuance to Conduct Discovery                                                                                                                                            

The case of Jessop v. Jessop is set for final trial in the 51st District Court, Schleicher County, Texas on Monday, September 28th.  Apparently Judge Walther is going ahead with the child support case, despite the fact that Merril Jessop filed a Special Appearance and Motion to Dismiss (and in the alternative, a Motion to Transfer).  Of course, the fact that Merril’s attorneys filed the Motion out of time may have some bearing on the matter.

It is unclear whether the court has subject matter jurisdiction (the question of personal jurisdiction is settled, Merril is a resident of Texas at the YFZ Ranch). 

Natalie Malonis, the attorney for Carolyn, has filed a Motion to Confer with the 3rd District Court in Utah, where Merril again attempted to delay the case by filing a motion in that court.

The last time that Merril went up against Carolyn he tried the same thing, using an Arizona Court as the forum to delay the Paternity case.  Guess what – he lost then too.  The courts conferred and determined that Utah was the better forum even though Arizona was the proper venue.  This is almost exactly the same situation. 

In this case, Merril was released on bail and is facing felony charges in Texas.  He lives in Texas.  His resources are accessible in Texas.  He has been able to come up with $100,000 cash bond and the funds to pay for both criminal and civil attorneys in two different states.  That is considered a resource for the purpose of determining child support, even if the funds were donated by the FLDS faithful.

What do you want to bet that he will lose this delaying maneuver also?  Why are his attorneys making an argument in the alternative?  Do they know that their case is weak to begin with?

Expect this case to be decided in Texas.

Expect Merril to hit with a minimum of $3,000 / month in child support (both retroactive and prospective).  If he refuses to pay, Carolyn can place a lien on any property that he has an interest in, including the YFZ Ranch or for that matter, forclosing on the ranch.

I am trying to confirm the latest news in the bid by Carolyn Jessop to obtain child support from Merril Jessop.  As I posted here, I was curious about what else was happening in the case, if anything.  Well, it appears that something is happening, that will be like a boxer’s shot to the gut of the FLDS.

The information that I have received is that the Utah Bar has approved noted Denton attorney Natalie Malonis’ application to appear Pro Hoc Vice in the case of Jessop v. Jessop, and that Carolynn’s local attorney has filed a motion and order in the case sponsoring Malonis’ appearance.  This may correspond with the upcoming hearing on the matter in Judge Walther’s court in Schleicher County, Texas that is currently scheduled for September 28th.

I wonder if Grandpa Bile Medvecky’s post on Pro Hac Vice [sic] gave Malonis the idea to appear for Carolyn in the Utah court?  Thanks, Bill, that was a good idea…

In any event, Merril must be on the borderline of getting an ulcer now – he’s tried and tried to move the case around to get away from his responsibilities, but it appears Malonis has the drive of a pit bull – she has her eyes on the target and won’t back off.

That’s gotta hurt…

Well, it’s been over 2 months since Natalie Malonis filed Carolyn Jessop’s request for child support with the 51st District Court in Texas and it looks like Merril Jessop has yet again dodged the bullet of supporting his children.

Let’s recap what has happened.

• The Utah AG files to obtain child support for Carolyn in Utah – then drops the matter when Merril ignores discovery and refuses to provide any information. Another case of the Utah AG not wanting to take action against polygamists.
• Carolyn files the petition in Texas.
• Merril files a motion in Utah to establish child support (which he has since ignored, an obvious attempt to get the case out of Texas, and he doesn’t appear to intend to pay child support anyway, especially since he hasn’t provided any such support to date).
• Merril files a special appearance contesting jurisdiction in Texas. Of course this was filed late, since Merril apparently just intends to just delay.
• Since then, nothing.

I am unaware of any hearings in Utah (or elsewhere) and would be interested in knowing if anyone else has heard anything.

I sure hope that this doesn’t mean that Carolyn is giving up, it would be completely unfair if Merril can get away with not supporting his children…

It’s been one of those months, apparently.

The Catcher in the Rye: Note to self: never read this on the Harvard campus again. Slash, in public. People seem to think that seeing you reading Catcher in the Rye is some kind of invitation to idiotic conversations. I love J.D. Salinger, but I’m aware that my love for him is extremely tortured. Also, this is by far his weakest work.

Escape: A friend recommended this to me. It’s not terribly well-written, but goodness is it compelling. I was struck a lot by the number of things Big Love seems to have lifted from real life, although if this book is any indication it didn’t lift any of the truly terrifying parts of life in the FLDS. Note to self: next time, get a recommendation for something lighter. Fluffier, even. Maybe puppies and unicorns.

The Vast Fields of Ordinary: I heard some people on BBYA talking about this title and realized I still hadn’t read my galley from Midwinter, so I read it in maybe two days. The ending was abrupt and annoying, but the book still really spoke to me. Though it would be nice to have a proofread version, since many of the galley hiccups were distracting.

The Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing: Another I own and reread when I’m feeling particularly tortured. Dog this is a beautiful book.

A number of bloggers and readers on the various blogs have posted a number of comments about the lawsuit to set child support by Merril Jessop for his and Carolyn Jessop’s children.

First, let’s look at the history of the matter.

In April of 2003, Carolyn, with her 8 children flee the FLDS and her spiritual husband, Merril Jessop. When that happened, she sought and obtained a temporary ex parte protective order against Merril and as a separate matter filed with the courts in Utah for a determination of paternity.

After Carolyn filed the paternity case in Utah, Merril filed a custody suit in Arizona.

After the two judges (Arizona and Utah) conferred, it was determined that Utah was the better forum and Arizona declined to exercise jurisdiction.

The ex parte protective order was reviewed at a hearing in Utah and a temporary protective order was granted to Carolyn. This order set visitation and custody, and barred Merril from taking any actions against Carolyn except through his attorney and the court system.

This order will have likely expired – most such orders expire in 1 or 2 years from the date of issuance. There has been no final custody order issued.

In the paternity case, a final order was issued stating that Merril was the father of the children. The court reserved the matters of custody and support for a later time.

During this time, Carolyn filed for discovery of Merril’s finances, but he did not respond. She then filed a motion to compell that the court granted, but which has not been complied with.

During this time, Carolyn was being supported in her legal costs by Dan Fischer, who apparently did not believe that they would win the support issue, and did not wish to fund what would be necessary to determine what his assets were so that the proper support level could be established. Carolyn did not have the resources to do so on her own – at times she was dependant on charity to pay her utility and food bills.

Additionally, Merril had declared bankruptcy in 2000. In 1997 he had a heart attack and quickly ran up over $200,000 in medical bills, but rather than pay the bills, he stalled the doctors and the hospital. His problem was that he had several million dollars of assets registered in his name, and he could not get out from under the medical bills while he had the assets.

By 2000, he had moved all of the assets to other names and were able to file for bankruptcy. The creditors that had worked so patiently with him got nothing. It was also the reason that Dan Fischer didn’t think that Carolyn would get child support.

This month, Carolyn filed in Texas, the state of residence of Merril, to establish support for their children.

Now let’s look at the legal issues.

The first matter of any lawsuit is jurisdiction. For a court to be able to take action, it must have jurisdiction to take the action, see Marbury v. Madison, 5 U.S. 137 (1803) and In the Interest of S.G.S. and E.E.S., 2006 Tex. App. LEXIS 5730 (Tex. App. Ft. Worth, 2006). Chapter 159 of the Family Code grants Texas jurisdication in this case.

Second, child is governed by a presumptive table in Texas. That table provides that a person with six children still at home and six that are due support will pay 32% of their net resources (up to $72,000 per year) in child support.

Third, additional support over and above that amount may be ordered in the event of a disabled child.

Fourth, assets that were transferred to try and avoid child support may be recovered by the custodial parant. Since there are dictations by the head of the sect, Warren Jeffs, clearly show that Merril was being directed to hide assets from Carolyn, it is merely a matter of tracking the assets. That includes any property or assets that may have been transferred to a trust.

That means that Carolyn will probably get about $20,000 per year in child support, based on the assets that Merril is known to have controlled.

Of course, some of the bloggers that clasified this as ‘alimony’ were informed of this, but since it was not a pro-PPSG post and it would actually force the FLDS to support their children, they didn’t want to post that comment. BillM has actually made progress in allowing other views to post comments (not all, he still selectively censors), but some that had been allowing comments are no longer doing so. Is that because holding an FLDS father to the same standards that all other fathers in Texas are held is violating their religious rights? Remember, thus far we have found no records of an active FLDS member paying child support. Anywhere.

Although

In the previous post I mentioned that a deputy served Merril Jessop with a court summons.

I have now been able to find out what it involves. Apparently Carolyn Jessop has brought suit to enforce child support (including back child support) against Merril Jessop for her 8 children.

The petition below outlines the case…

CAUSE #3028 CAUSE #3028 TxBluesMan

Ouch.

He’s not going to like this…

Plus, it gives Carolyn’s attorney the ability to go through all the financial records of both Merril and the various trusts, to make sure that he has hidden no assets…

And the best part is that Merril and the rest of both the FLDS and PPSG already dislike the attorney – which is none other than Natalie Malonis.

Double ouch.

This is going to hurt… Now he’ll have to go through a deposition (again), along with anyone else that has knowledge of the finances of the FLDS. You know, I think that the beast that the FLDS were bleeding has turned on them… cause they are hemoraging money right and left to pay off attorneys… and ain’t none of ‘em cheap… Plus he’ll plead the Fifth, and then be compelled to answer, and if he refuses he’ll face coercive contempt charges…

This is way too much fun…

“The object in life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.” Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Augustus, 121-180, Roman Emperor, 161-180.

In the late 1980s, Carolyn Blackmore was married to Merril Jessop per the revelation of Rulon Jeffs, the Prophet of the FLDS. She was 18, he was 50 and had three other wives.

Carolyn, born into a polygamous family going back 6 generations, ably describes her life in Colorado City, Arizona and Hilldale, Utah (the Short Creek area), as to both her childhood growing up and as an adult woman. Like others, she describes, abet from a more personal viewpoint, how the FLDS changed from a President and Council to a one man rule, and later, under Warren Jeffs, to a dictatorship.

She describes the abuse in the Merril Jessop family, both emotional and physical, and that of his wife Barbara. Much of this abuse can be confirmed by other sources, such as by records of the Mohave County District Attorney.

Carolyn tried to work things out within the bounds of the FLDS religion, but soon saw that neither Merril nor Warren had any intention of stopping the abuse. Twice she went before Warren, the last time explaining that if the abuse didn’t stop that she would leave with her children and go to the authorities. Apparently she wasn’t believed.

Of course, the abuse didn’t stop, and she made good on her promise. She escaped, with all eight of her children and became the first women to flee the FLDS that won custody of her children. As is typical in FLDS cases, she has never received a dime of child support from the father.

This story is both inspiring and shocking. It is easy to point at the facts in the book and understand how brave and inspiring Carolyn is to others – I for one am completely impressed by her courage.

By the same token, the views of the FLDS is shocking, particularly where Carolyn described the sects reaction to the World Trade Center attack on 9/11/2001. It is difficult for me to understand how any American could believe that the loss of thousands of innocent American lives to terrorists was either an act of God against the United States or should be considered a good thing.

In any event, it is a good read – highly recommended.

Eagle by Carole May

If you want to make a real difference, become a legal eagle watching over the court system.

We all know that “justice” in the legal system belongs to the affluent and powerful.  But, I think many of you would be shocked to discover how easily the court system can be manipulated as an instrument of abuse.

A rich and powerful man with a well-established professional career can afford to out-litigate a wife who sacrificed her own professional ambitions to care for his home and his children.  A man who never had a second of time for his kids can suddenly discover how easily and effectively a well-funded custody dispute can destroy his estranged wife.  There’s also the refusal to pay child or spousal support.  False allegations of abuse and arrests on false charges can destroy a person’s reputation.  These are just a few of the ways sophisticated, affluent people have found to manipulate the court system as an instrument of abuse.  It’s all legal.

Many attorneys fuel these “Wars of the Roses” because the legal fees essentially transfer family assets into the coffers of the law firm.  And, judges who are burned out or personally abusive or naive sit back and let it all happen.

A few states require judicial training on domestic violence cases.  Fewer states have integrated court tracks for cases involving allegations of domestic violence.  The manual advising women on how to navigate the legal system is eleven years old.  A Google search to research this post revealed a pitiful lack of progress, resources, and funding.  A few brave souls in law schools are soldiering forward, but they need reinforcements.

Most women who decide it is time to exit an abusive relationship with a powerful man quickly discover they have three options which leaves them essentially with a least-worst choice:

• Remain in an abusive relationship to protect their children’s future opportunities and to avoid going on welfare.  The ex-wife of a prominent surgeon, for example, asked me, “which abuse is worse?  My own physical, emotional, and financial abuse?  Or, is it child abuse to tell my kids they’ll be going to community college instead of Harvard because I can’t and won’t take it anymore?”  Tough questions.  Tough choices.
• Walk away with nothing.  This was the choice that Tina Turner and Carolyn Jessop made.  They decided it was more prudent to invest their energies in their futures than to get their share of family wealth via a court battle that would likely prove to be futile.
• Spend a fortune trying to recoup their investment in the marriage.  Jeanne I. King, Ph.D. recounts the cost of this choice in All But My Soul:  Abuse Beyond Control.  I clerked in the Domestic Relations Division of Cook County’s (Chicago) Circuit Court during law school.  Her experiences were typical of most affluent divorces.  The downside of this approach is that it leaves a person vulnerable to continuing abuse for years, and it can be devastating financially.

We need to be less naive about suggesting women in these circumstances “just leave.”  We also need to be more sophisticated as women about our life path and career choices.  We need to be more pragmatic about our life partner choices.  Wife and mother are career choices that don’t come with compensation or severance packages or pension plans.

We need people to be vigilant watchdogs over court proceedings and judicial fitness.  At this point, selection of judges is subject to too much control by the attorneys who have a stake in the outcome of cases.  Voters know very little about judges.  It leads to corruption.

We need committed, qualified attorneys to represent women and children in landmark cases pro bono to set precedent.  Available legal services don’t begin to meet the demand.

We need new laws and court procedures as well as mandatory judicial training on domestic violence.

We need to find a way to introduce prevention into the legal process.  We need stricter monitoring of offenders.  We need tougher gun control laws.

And, we need to benchmark best practices to see what works and what doesn’t work.

The American Bar Association has a domestic violence section.  The Family Violence Prevention Fund works with the National Judicial Institute on Domestic Violence and the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges to train judges.  It’s a good start, but we have a very long way to go.

Six years ago, I was contemplating my career. The judge had successfully blackballed me. My safety within the Address Confidentiality Program (ACP) meant tapping into my professional network wasn’t prudent.

Why was I being foreclosed from leveraging my expertise and education? What was I here to do?

A story on the evening news grabbed my attention. Tacoma’s Chief of Police David Brame was responding to allegations of domestic violence made by his estranged wife Crystal Judson Brame. His words were textbook PR, but the menacing look on his face revealed simmering murderous rage about to erupt. Crystal was clearly in imminent danger. The next afternoon he fatally shot Crystal before turning the gun on himself in front of their children.

 Years later, after meeting Carolyn Jessop and realizing she had escaped just days before Crystal was shot, I wondered what made the difference. Why were we spared and Crystal wasn’t?

Lesson One: Recognize “the Look”

When I read Carolyn’s book Escape, I realized that we had each become expert in the fine art of reading the warning signs of violent abuse. We had finely tuned our exit strategies and survival skills.

 Lesson Two: Find a Safe Hideout

Carolyn Jessop made connections through her mother with Dan Fisher, a dentist who operated a safe haven for FLDS lost boys. His daughter Jolene was recently back from dental school. This gave Carolyn a safe haven with a solid backup. I had a bar exam buddy who offered me sanctuary at her home deep in the mountains. Fortunately, this was before GPS, and the judge would never be able to find her home.

Your hideout must be a place no one would think to look for you. Ideally, it will have an exceptional security system and will be owned by someone savvy about protecting you. If the person abusing you is a member of law enforcement, you will not likely be welcome at domestic violence shelters. Besides, he probably knows where they are.

Lesson Three: Take Threats Seriously

Pit Bulls delight in describing in detail how they will extract revenge. When they realize the relationship is, in fact, over, they carry out those threats. You may never be safe until he is dead.

Where are you most vulnerable? What would cause you to let down your guard? How can he get to you? Before she left, Carolyn Jessop spent three years making contingency plans for every possible way Merril could get to her through her kids. She made unbelievable sacrifices including submitting to marital rape and going on welfare to keep her kids safe.

Since I didn’t have children, my vulnerability was my career. I jettisoned my professional credentials and network and worked as a telemarketer. I was glad to have the job. I have relocated across country twice and entered an ACP. I don’t use credit cards and have accepted the restrictions not having a credit rating have placed on my lifestyle. I have severed connections with people dear to me.

 Lesson Four: Make Friends with His Enemies

Every powerful abusive person has made enemies who are equally powerful. These people may protect you, but you must realize political alliances can be fluid. Unfortunately, those being paid to protect Crystal Judson Brame were more inclined to suck up to David’s political power. This included the local domestic violence shelter. I was stunned to hear a prominent local shelter director tell me that she would have no qualms selling Crystal out to protect her other clients and that she had sold out wives of wealthy local executives to raise funds for her shelter. It was her way of explaining why the domestic violence system had failed to protect Crystal and me.

Carolyn Jessop was fortunate to find Dan Fisher who brought Utah’s attorney general Mark Shurtleff into her protection circle. I was fortunate that several prominent members of the state bar association and the local police chief were aware of the judge’s abusive tendencies and had their own fluid political reasons to support my cause.

We needed those alliances because Merril Jessop and the judge had armies of people ~ including my own attorneys ~ eager to enable their abuse to garner access to power. I found myself unwelcome at my hideout. I was devastated to discover the legal system I passionately believed in was unbelievably corrupt. It is equally painful to be abandoned or betrayed by family, friends, and colleagues.

You may be similarly called upon to make extraordinarily difficult choices in order to survive. Pride may become a luxury you can’t afford. You may have to do things you have vowed you’d never do. You may have to jettison possessions and a lifestyle dear to you. You may be required to make tremendous sacrifices in every aspect of your life.

 Lesson Five: Accept that Freedom Isn’t Free

In an ideal world, mechanisms would be in place to provide you safe exit. There would be a convenient safe house that would accept your children and pets where you could hide out for the duration of your transition. A lucrative job would be offered to you. The court system would be resistant to allowing itself to be manipulated as an instrument of abuse. Abusive cops, judges, clergy, and medical professionals would be held accountable by their peers. The general public would stop blaming the victim. The person threatening your life would be imprisoned for the remainder of his life. Your career would sail forward. You’d meet a new love who would protect and cherish you.

These things happen in romance novels. They don’t happen in real life. We all like to think of Tina Turner without considering the years she spent rebuilding her career or the enormous sacrifices she made to be free of Ike. We think of Carolyn Jessop’s best selling book and upcoming movie without considering the years she spent planning her escape and time she was on welfare.

Lesson Six: Perceive the Welfare System as Your Angel Investor

Those of us who have been reared to be self-sufficient and who take pride in our careers find it extraordinarily difficult to admit we need help. However, few people are able to exit the toxic environment of an abusive relationship without sustaining substantial damage to our psyche and self-esteem. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and suicidal depression are common.

Therapists and domestic violence experts have told me that the judge’s plan to kill me and “get away with it” was to get me to kill myself. The government keeps statistics on the murderous end of physical abuse, but they don’t keep statistics on the murderous end of emotional abuse: suicide.

The welfare system is there to provide us with a safety net. I was fortunate to have someone suggest early on that I perceive it as my angel investor. The day I was told that I was too profoundly disabled by PTSD and depression to work was one of the darkest days of my life. However, the support and resources available to me have saved my life. I have learned to leverage them and to be grateful they exist.

 Lesson Seven: Adopt a New York State of Mind

Maya Angelou is correct. Whining alerts a brute that a victim is in the neighborhood. I was very fortunate to be in the audience the first day Iyanla Vanzant was on Oprah. The next season, I was invited back for all her appearances. We are both former attorneys and enormously spiritual people who have experienced abuse. I have read all her books and found great comfort and wisdom in them. But, she delivered her three most powerful lessons to me personally during the taping of those Oprah shows:

• You are not a victim. You are a person who has experienced abuse. You will survive it and move on with your life. It will shape you, but it will not define who you are as a person.
• You are not broke or poor. You are merely temporarily short of funds. Poverty is a state of mind that will keep you poor. Abundance is a state of mind that will make you wealthy.
• You keep looking for your gifts to come in a red box and don’t open those in the green box. ( It took me almost a decade to understand this lesson.)

There will be times when you feel so overwhelmed that you will wish someone would just pick you up and carry you for awhile. You will wish someone would rescue you. It will feel cruel when they refuse to do so. Yet, if they did, we would never find our own strength and power.

Lesson Eight: Dream Big and Have Faith in Your Dreams

My ancestral connection to Sir Francis Drake kept me sailing through many stormy seas. I reminded myself that faith and courage were part of my DNA. Yes, it was profoundly devastating to accept that my dreams of a legal career had been dashed upon the rocks of an abusive relationship. I had made tremendous sacrifices to go to law school, and writing off that investment was one of the hardest things I’ve ever been called to do. Gradually, however, I came to accept that my life had a greater purpose.

I never, ever wanted to become a domestic violence advocate. I wanted somebody else to step up to that plate. I wanted my life to be about something else. Anything else to be accurate. Anything. I spent years wailing at God and begging for a different mission. Almost a decade, in fact.

One day, however, I woke up (literally) and realized that my dreams had been sitting in my lap waiting for me to stop wailing and resisting. It was the proverbial green box. In retrospect, I realized I wanted to accelerate the recovery process. Nobody enjoys our time in the valley. We all want to experience the joy of the mountain top. I don’t like being disabled; “can’t” offends my optimism. I prefer SARK’s subtle editing of “impossible” into “I’m possible.”

 Lesson Eight: Leverage Your Talents and Professional Expertise

We all have talents and expertise. Focus on what you can do today. Carolyn Jessop was educated as a teacher, but the work she was able to get and to do was using her talents as a seamstress and collecting past-due accounts. I have the research instincts of a ferret and the ability to digest inordinately complex information and explain it in terms anyone can comprehend. Yes, I am still disabled, but that doesn’t mean I can’t keep trying to do the best I am able to do with what I have right now. I believe that if we leverage our talents while we are in the valley, we will eventually get to the mountaintop.

Lesson Nine: Break Down the Wall of Silence and Connect with Survivors

There are millions of us out there. We come from every walk of life, every neighborhood, every socio-economic level, every sexual persuasion, and every race or creed. The most meaningful assistance I have received has come from fellow survivors.  Most DV-prevention advances have been pioneered by survivors.

The challenge of bringing an end to the violence is formidable. Yet, I take heart at the tremendous strides the Susan G. Komen Foundation has achieved for breast cancer. There are at least four times more of us. We are smart. We are educated. We have professional networks and unique perspectives on how systems operate: law, medicine, business, politics, religion, academic research, social service, technology, and entertainment. We’ve been around the block without our training wheels.

I have faith that if we each on a daily basis engage in outrageous acts in the cause of social justice and contribute our knowledge, expertise, and experience that we can end the violence.

 Lesson Ten: Pay It Forward

Yes, everyone tells us to leave. But, nobody tells us how. That’s what this web site is about. We need to figure it out, and those of us who have lived to tell the tale must leverage our professional expertise to help the women and children walking in our shoes until the violence stops.

© 2009, Anne Caroline Drake, Carole May, and Elena Hanajenko

All Rights Reserved

 Freedom is extraordinary, and love a miracle.

-Carolyn Jessop

Six years ago, Carolyn Jessop achieved a miracle. She escaped from an abusive polygamist marriage to FLDS leader Merril Jessop. In her own words:

Everything you did was monitored and controlled and everybody reported on everyone else. It was a police state. You were not allowed to make decisions in your life. I had no power over my life or the lives of my children. It was a terrible way to live.

The way he controlled me was by being violent to my children. If I did something that he didn’t like, my children paid, and they paid a big price. He would hurt them. If he would have been hurting me, I probably would not have conformed. But when you go after a woman’s child, that’s one thing that will put a woman on her knees quickly.

Carolyn planned her escape for three years. She paid close attention to what provoked her husband’s abuse. By reading his facial expressions and listening to the tone of his voice, she learned outsmart him. First, she and her father made futile appeals to Warren Jeffs, head of the FLDS. Since the police were all members of the FLDS, they refused to protect her.

Carolyn was determined to leave with all her eight children, but this wasn’t easy. Arthur, her oldest son, worked construction and was not always home; Harrison, was disabled from cancer; and Bryson, her youngest son was still nursing. Betty, her oldest daughter was terrified leave. Carolyn had $20 to fund their escape which she describes in her book:

The moment had come. I had been watching and waiting for months. The time was right. I had to act fast and without fear. I could not afford to fail. Nine lives were at stake. . .the choice was freedom or fear.

Her sister Linda, who was in a less oppressive marriage, helped her contact her brothers. While her husband was away on a business trip, her brothers Arthur and Darrel agreed to drive down from Salt Lake and to meet her near the Utah state line which was three miles from the FLDS community. Her van ran out of gas one mile from their meeting place.

Her brothers took her to Dan Fischer’s home with the FLDS posse hot on her tail. Dan decided the Utah attorney general needed to be involved immediately to secure an emergency order of protection.

Fortunately, Carolyn says she had “the steadfast and unyielding support of friends, family, and strangers who rallied around me immediately after I escaped. . .provided refuge, understanding, support, and love. . .I could not have survived without them.”

She celebrated her 17^th wedding anniversary by getting her hair professionally cut and styled for the first time in her life.

Carolyn’s second miracle was winning her fight for custody of her eight children. She had the support of Utah’s attorney general, Mark Shurtleff, and was represented by Lisa Jones, a former judge.

The battered women’s shelter in West Jordan helped her find subsidized housing. She went on welfare. She was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Some days she survived in five minute increments. While living in this survival mode, her authentic self emerged. She got a brief job sewing costumes for an HBO series. After collecting $30,000 in past-due accounts for a friend’s business, she decided to become an accountant.

Warren Jeffs is now in prison, and Merril Jessop has been indicted.

Carolyn Jessop has found safety in the spotlight. She created a map for other FLDS wives to follow. She’s been on the Today Show and Oprah. She’s been interviewed by Time and CNN. She’s testified before Congress. Her book Escape became a best seller. She’s found joy with a man named Brian.

I had the pleasure of meeting Carolyn Jessop on November 9, 2007.

Oprah visited the Yearning for Zion (YFZ) Ranch and aired scenes from her visit today. Disturbing. What she showed is nothing like the Emmy- and Golden Globe-nominated TV show Big Love, which just wrapped up its third season on HBO. I love that show. The writing is superb, the acting is emotional and believable, and the drama is suspenseful.

Yearning for Zion Ranch outside Eldorado, Texas is owned by the Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints (FLDS). In 2008 the Texas Child Protective Services (CPS) removed the children after being tipped that children were being sexually abused and underage girls were being forced to marry much older men. Twelve girls between ages 12 and 15 were married when the raid was conducted. Since the raid, people on YFZ say they won’t marry children below the legal age, which is 16 in Texas. The children were eventually all returned except a 12-year-old girl who was forced to marry their prophet Warren Jeffs, who according to FLDS church records, had 58 wives.

Jeffs was on the FBI’s Ten Most Wanted List in 2006 when he fled to avoid prosecution. He was later found and arrested and on 11/20/07 he was sentenced to 10 years to life imprisonment for being guilty of two counts of rape as an accomplice. Jeffs is still scheduled to be tried for additional charges in Arizona. Willie Jessop, who took Oprah into the ranch, is now the prophet.

Excellent, shocking, and eye-opening books I have read on the FLDS church are Jon Krakauer’s Under the Banner of Heaven and Carolyn Jessop’s book Escape. In 1986, 18-year-old Carolyn Jessop, who wanted to attend medical school but was not allowed, was instead forced to marry 50-year-old Merril Jessop (Willie’s brother) who already had three wives and 30 children. Soon after the marriage, Merrill was given two additional wives.

Merril Jessop and his first six wives - Carolyn is on the right as a young bride

Carolyn endured repeated rapes from her husband and life-threatening pregnancies and childbirth until she was able to escape at age 35 with her 8 children in 2003 from the compound in Colorado City, Arizona. She took them and fled because she was afraid that her oldest daughter Betty, aged 14, would be forced into marriage. Betty screamed as they left and said that a mother has no right to do what she wants with her children.

Four years later and two days after Betty turned 18, she returned to the compound. Carolyn feels Betty is brainwashed. Oprah interviewed now 19-year-old Betty who seems to think her mother’s concern is silly. Betty talks to her mother once a week, but says it’s “awkward.” Merril Jessop is Betty’s father and is awaiting sentencing for conducting the unlawful marriage of Betty’s 12-year-old half-sister to FLDS head Warren Jessop who is in jail.

Betty, as well as the other women, men, and children tried to appear candid, but it’s almost certain that they were coached on what to say. Their stories were nothing like what Carolyn Jessop tells in her book of what life is like there.

Oprah probed those she talked to, but did not judge and let it go when people denied what so many people have said happens there. These interesting things did come out of her conversations. My comments are in purple.

• Children don’t play. The FLDS people consider play frivolous and they say it doesn’t serve a purpose. Their purpose? To be like God. Wouldn’t God consider play and joy okay?
• Oprah asked a classroom full of second graders if they’d heard of Shrek, Mickey Mouse, Cinderella, Little Mermaid, and other fictional characters…no, they hadn’t. The teacher said that teaching them about fictional characters serves no purpose. I can understand why they don’t encourage children to think creatively or have imaginations. They might consider doing something besides what they are told…like LEAVE.
• They listen to religious music and sermons on iPods. Again, having no exposure to “fun” music or hearing opinions on topics besides their own religion keeps the people focused on work and their religion and contributes to them having no ability to think for themselves.
• Oprah interviewed three wives of one husband who was there during the interview making sure they said the right thing watching. Oprah asked them didn’t they get jealous of their husband being with the other wives. One wife said “Our way of life is self-improvement and what better way to improve yourself than to live with other women and learn to overcome your bad feelings and jealousies? If I didn’t live with other women, I would never know about myself. I would never discover the weaknesses in my human flesh.” On the surface, one can understand her comments, but they say so much more if you delve deeply. She is saying that she has bad feelings and jealousy, she is weak to have feelings, and she can’t know herself or feel without being put in this situation of having to share her husband with other women.
• Oprah talked to about 20 teenage girls and none of them had dated. One said that marriage is the start of a relationship. They all indicated that their parents pick who they will marry. This sounds a lot like what happens with arranged marriages in India. There is little to no free will to choose your own partner in your own time.
• Oprah asked the teenage girls if they knew that it was against the law for adults to have sex with children. One said she didn’t know that before, and had just learned that. One can only imagine how the men groom girls for sex at an early age. Read Carolyn Jessop’s book. It’s disturbing.
• Oprah asked about their dresses, which cover their arms and legs and look identical except in color. They wear them even when they swim and only take them off to put on their gowns for bed. They are not encouraged to be individuals and to express their own personalities (or even to have them) with choice of clothes. They also don’t get to be carefree children, wearing shorts, a swimsuit, etc. They are denied so many of what we would consider freedoms.
• Oprah asked what the teenage girls what want the outside world to know. They answered in unison “That we’re happy.” Of course they said that. They do and say what they are told. They know they will be beaten if they don’t. They denied beating children in Oprah’s interview, but Carolyn Jessop says that children are beaten badly…even with boards…kicked, and otherwise abused. When the children were removed by the Department of Human Services, many of them had broken bones as a result of the physical abuse they deny happens.

Twelve men from YFZ remain under indictment and their trials are set for this fall. Although some might see it differently, after having read Jon Krakauer’s and Carolyn Jessop’s books and done other reading about what goes on in the FLDS “religion,” I see this as men using their power to make women and children subservient and slaves to their every need and desire. Carolyn Jessop said the boys are often taken out of school and made to work from 5 a.m. until sunset every day as slave labor.

The men cloak what they do in the name of religion and being like God and yet they literally take teenage boys out of their homes and dump them somewhere outside the ranch when they reach a certain age (like 14) because they become a threat to the much older men who pluck their peer-aged girl classmates from childhood to service them in “marriage.” Women and children there could have walked out of a “Stepford Wives” movie…they are zombies with no ability to think or choose for themselves.

I find the whole thing disgusting, disturbing, and alarming. The State of Texas tried to do the right thing, but it backfired. I cried for those women and children when they were returned to the Yearning for Zion Ranch.  The men are back to being happy and controlling. The abuse continues. It’s no “Big Love.”

UPDATE 4/14/09: The Texas House Committee on Human Services met today to look at how Texas officials handled the removal and investigation of child abuse at YZR. When questioned, the now FLDS prophet Willie Jessop said he wasn’t sure if there were underage marriages there and that it wouldn’t be appropriate for him to speculate on the entire group. The chairman of the committee, Rep. Patrick Rose, told Jessop he just didn’t believe him.

Anne Heiligenstein, commissioner of the Department of Family and Protective Services, who was not working there at the time of the raid, defended their actions. According to the Austin American-Statesman article on the hearing,

She also pointed out that the protective services agency’s investigation concluded that nearly 30 percent of the girls ages 12 to 17 at the ranch had been sexually abused.

“It’s what other reasonable people would have done in the same situation to protect children,” Heiligenstein said.

Heiligenstein also issued a warning: “You cannot abuse children in Texas and get away with it, even if you are a large, reclusive, well-organized and funded organization that has a great deal of media savvy.”

UPDATE 11/6/09: In the first trial (in the 3,000-resident Schleicher County) associated with the 2008 raids on the Yearning for Zion Ranch in Schleicher County, 38-year-old Raymond Jessop was convicted of sexually assaulting a 16-year-old girl he calls his wife. She is one of the daughters of the former FLDS prophet Warren Jeffs and was previously “married” to Raymond Jessop’s brother before being “reassigned” to him when she was only 15 years old. She became pregnant at age 16 and her daughter is now four years old. According to Texas law, no one under 17 years of age can consent to sex with an adult. Jessop, who has 9 wives, faces up to 20 years in prison.

Listened to this in audiobook form
by Carolyn Jessop with Laura Palmer

I had started listening to this book about a week before authorities raided the Yearning For Zion Ranch (YFZ Ranch) in El Dorado, Texas. I wasn’t very far into it when I heard the first radio report of the raid. I quickly put two and two together and realized that the book I was reading (I call listening to an audiobook “reading” it) was in fact about what was quickly taking over the national news! And take over, it did.

This book, which is read by the very talented Ann Marie Lee, is the unabridged version from Audible.com I was hooked in the first five minutes. Jessop started the book with her harrowing late night escape from her cult home, along with her 8 children. Local police were part of the cult and if they had tracked her down, would have returned her to an environment of horrid abuse.

Carolyn was born into a 6th generation of polygamists. Growing up in a polygamist society was as natural to her as breathing air. At the age of 18, excited at the prospect of going to college–which is definitely not a common thing for women to be allowed to do in this cult–her father called her in for a meeting late one night. He informed her that in two days’ time she would be marrying one of his business partners. There was nothing she could do about it. There was no saying “no”.

It turns out that the man who asked for Carolyn’s hand in marriage had gotten her name wrong. It was Carolyn’s prettier sister he was interested in. But…he asked for “Carolyn” and once the Prophet had approved the deal, that was it. The day after Carolyn found out she was to become the fourth wife of a 55 year old man, she formally met him. He came over for lunch to “meet” her. What this meeting turned out to be was sandwiches in the living room while her father and he made the appointment for the marriage to take place in Salt Lake City. The rest of the time was spent talking business. He never talked to Carolyn, nor did he touch her. She was terrified.

The wedding went on as planned. She spent her two remaing days of “freedom” under the surveillance of her mother. She was made to sleep in her mother’s room at night to ensure that she didn’t run away as her sister had. That would be a disgrace to the family. She was married off to this man and sent to live with him. Her life quickly turned to hell.

I’ve read many comments on the internet where people question the abnormality of having plural wives. Some think it would be great from the woman’s point of view because, hey, you wouldn’t have to do the housework all by yourself–split it up evenly. Or how about the sex ? Some women would consider it a boon to split up the sex duties amongst several wives. In this instance the man never even bothered to take off his clothes while they did it. She eventually bore him 8 children and never once did they get naked together. Sex was something to be hated and endured, yet the wives fought to have it as much as possible with the husband because if they were having sex, that meant he favored them. And the favored wives have more power in the household. A good analogy is a pack of wolves sensing the weakest member of the pack and killing it off. A new, young girl marrying into a household that already has several wives is at a huge disadvantage.

This is the lot of the “celestial bride”: young girls, as young as 13, are given to men old enough to be their father or grandfather. One day they’re going to “school” (more on that in a bit) and a day later they’re being forced to spread their legs for an old man they may have never even met before. This is not “marriage”…this is child abuse and sex abuse. They have no idea that this is wrong because it’s all they’ve ever been exposed to. They have no television. They’re not allowed to read books from the outside world. They have no contact with the outside world. They’re raised to fear and abhor it. So they think this is all normal.

Think about a wife who’s suddenly told by her husband to build an extra room onto the house. As soon as she’s done with it a new young girl is brought into the household to make love to her husband, in the room that she’d just built. She’s not going to feel real friendly toward her and she does everything in her power to make life miserable. The women become, if not merely competitive with one another, downright enemies.

The so-called education system in the FLDS community is a farce. Their are from time to time escapees. Of these, the 15 and 16 year olds who’ve been tested typically come out in a 2nd to 3rd grade education level. The FLDS stance on education is simply that it is unnecessary beyond the basic reading and writing level. The girls are raised to become breeding stations and the boys are raised to work on the construction crews for the church. Which is how much of the income is made for the FLDS. They have contracting businesses, providing manual labor. They’re able to undercut bids on projects (thus winning a lot of them) because they have far fewer labor costs involved with their business–they use the boys for labor and don’t pay them. The church gets the money.

Let’s get back to the whole deal with old men getting a bunch of young girls as their wives. Most men in the church want as many wives as possible because that will win them a higher place in heaven. The Prophet is the one who decides who is going to marry whom. For men higher in the church echelon, the more wives they get. If a man is disfavored, he won’t get any. So, if there are men with 10, 20 wives (and there are!) it stands to reason that there must be a shortage of girls to go around. And there is.

To even up the numbers, many of the young men are ostracized from the community. Actually, that’s putting it mildly. What really happens is that they’re taken out to large metropolitan areas (typically Salt Lake City and Las Vegas) and dumped on the side of the road like dogs with nothing but the clothes on their backs. Keep in mind that these are teenage boys who have grown up knowing nothing but the FLDS community. They have no education to speak of. They’re raised to be terrified of the outside world. The only skill they may have is to be on a building crew. They have none of what you and I would call real life experience. Their families don’t want them back because The Prophet said they “must go”.

The name given to these boys by one of the rescue groups is “The Lost Boys”. And that, they are. Many of them end up as male prostitutes and drug addicts. If you want to read more about this please visit The Hope Organization’s website. It is full of heartbreaking stories.

Back to the book. Carolyn suffered terribly from the abuse he and his other wives doled out. She admits that she most likely would have stuck things out there for the rest of her life except that she feared for her children. Throughout fifteen years of marriage she slowly began to question her entire belief system in the church and whether it was truly right or not. She was lucky that her grandmother had instilled a sense of worth in her. Her grandmother is one of the very few people who have come from the outside world into the FLDS community. She married into it. During her childhood, Grandma helped insulate Carolyn from much of the abuse she otherwise would have endured. Once she died, there was no one to protect her. But those short years she had with Grandma in her life gave her a huge advantage: she knew that there was an outside world she could run away to. Which brings us right back to the beginning of the book where the story begins wtih the night she escaped from the community.

This is a scary story. It’s all true. And it’s a huge eye opener. I find it astonishing that we can live in the United States and still have this kind of abuse going on and nothing being done about it

Today’s post is from Arlene at Harrington Library:

Escape by Carolyn Jessop

I read this book in one night because I could not put it down. The true life story on how Carolyn Jessop was forced to live was intriguing. As she described her escape I found myself holding my breath hoping she would make it to safety with her 8 children. Her story was enlightening as to how the FLDS church men control women and children.

I got this meme here.

Do you have a system for borrowing out books from the library? Do you know what you’re going to borrow before you get there? How often do you borrow out books?

I don’t usually.  Most of the time, if I’m not there to pick up a book that I’ve specifically requested, I browse through the new releases and I can totally find a stack of books that I want.

I also wrote a review of this book here. Enjoy.

Escape – Carolyn Jessop with Laura Palmer

From the book jacket -

When she was eighteen years old, Carolyn Jessop was coerced into an arranged marriage with a total stranger: a man thirty-two years her senior. Merril Jessop already had three wives. But arranged plural marriages were an integral part of Carolyn’s heritage: She was born into and raised in the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (FLDS), the radical offshoot of the Mormon Church that had settled in small communities along the Arizona-Utah border. Over the next fifteen years, Carolyn had eight children and withstood her husband’s psychological abuse and the watchful eyes of his other wives who were locked in a constant battle for supremacy.

Carolyn’s every move was dictated by her husband’s whims. He decided where she lived and how her children would be treated. He controlled the money she earned as a school teacher. He chose when they had sex; Carolyn could only refuse—at her peril. For in the FLDS, a wife’s compliance with her husband determined how much status both she and her children held in the family. Carolyn was miserable for years and wanted out, but she knew that if she tried to leave and got caught, her children would be taken away from her. No woman in the country had ever escaped from the FLDS and managed to get her children out, too. But in 2003, Carolyn chose freedom over fear and fled her home with her eight children. She had $20 to her name.

Escapeexposes a world tantamount to a prison camp, created by religious fanatics who, in the name of God, deprive their followers the right to make choices, force women to be totally subservient to men, and brainwash children in church-run schools. Against this background, Carolyn Jessop’s flight takes on an extraordinary, inspiring power. Not only did she manage a daring escape from a brutal environment, she became the first woman ever granted full custody of her children in a contested suit involving the FLDS. And in 2006, her reports to the Utah attorney general on church abuses formed a crucial part of the case that led to the arrest of their notorious leader, Warren Jeffs.

I knew that I would be swept up in this book from the moment I picked it up, based on what I’ve heard from other bloggers and reviews… and I was not a bit wrong about that.  Carolyn Jessop’s harrowing tale of life as the third wife (out of five when she lived there, up to nine I think after she left) to a very important man in the FLDS church, Merril Jessop, was absolutely riveting and I could not put this book down.  I was both horrified and fascinated by what I read and I can’t recommend this book enough.

Here’s the thing.  I have read about the FLDS before, I have studied a little bit about polygamy, and I thought I had a decent understanding of this group of people.  But until I learned about it from the perspective of someone that’s lived it, I had no clue.  What people need to understand about this cult (because it is a cult, and Jessop says the word cult time and time again in her book) is that these people are completely brainwashed.  They are living in a world that is so far removed from reality that they have absolutely no idea how the world works – they have little to no education, they are taught that they are the property of their church, they do not know about basic human rights, or even about the existance of the constitution of the United States, and they are taught that anything from the outside is to be cast aside, feared, and not trusted.  So even if they WERE told about their basic rights, or some details about how they could safely live in the “outside”, they wouldn’t believe it.  Now Jessop is a little different because when she was growing up in the FLDS, a few children from the most elite families were allowed to go to college to become teachers or other professionals within the community – and she was the lucky one chosen from her family.  So not only did she have a full(ish) high school education (rare for FLDS kids), she also got a four year bachelors degree from a university (although she had to still live in the FLDS on weekends while she was getting the degree).  That allowed Jessop to begin to think for herself and she slowly began to feel like her lifestyle just wasn’t fair – not to her, not to her children, and there were a few times she even took pity on her abusive husband, Merril.

The other thing is that if the issue with the FLDS was just polygamy, then ok – we’d be dealing with a lifestyle issue, a family choice, and I personally don’t think that anyone has the right to make choices for anyone else’s families regarding personal issues or lifestyle issues.  However, marriages and parenting in the FLDS are both characterized by terrorizing, intimidation, scare tactics, complete submission to the male head of household, irrationality, and most of all – physical, sexual, and emotional abuse, including both rape and neglect.  Abuse should not ever be tolerated.  Jessop’s story definitely cemented the fact that, in my opinion, this cult needs to have a LOT more investigations, scrutiny, whatever, to get these women and children away from these abusive, horrific living conditions.  I don’t care what your personal beliefs are – in fact I fully support people choosing alternate lifestyles – but when there is abuse, that is where I personally draw the line.  I cannot believe that this is allowed to happen, and these women and children are so brainwashed to believe that enduring this awful life is their way to get to heaven.  I’m sorry, but the God I subscribe to could never condone or support such a thing, and I’m sad that we are allowing this to happen in the United States.

Reading Escapewas a profound experience for me (as you can probably tell).  I highly recommend it, I think that as citizens we should all be educated on what’s happening in our country (there’s also an FLDS sect in Canada, fyi).  I’m actually picking up Stolen Innocence by Elissa Wall next, just because now I feel the need to learn even more about the FLDS.

Other reviews-

• Alisonwonderland at So Many Books, So Little Time
• Di at Live and Let Di