I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.

~Martin Luther King, Jr.

xo

My whole “inner peace” has been off kilter for a couple of weeks now. I have been a bit sad and angry, and every time I sit to write the negative feelings and angry words would rise to my fingertips like bile, pleading me to write them. My good sense would say “You are POSITIVE! You mustn’t write negativity!” and I would move on to another topic.

But not tonight. This time I said to heck with it. Snagged up my “scribblins” notebook and threw it all out there. And boy did it feel good. Every angry thought and hurt feeling seemed to transfer from my heart to my pen. Out of my soul, onto the paper. The heaviness lifted and I felt like me again, for the most part. When I finished the choppy, unorganized, foul document and wrote “THE END!”, I knew I could be done with it.

How does it work? I dunno. For me, that ranting journal entry allowed me to pretend to say all the things I wanted. To get the feelings off my chest that I don’t want others to know I feel. That festering hurt was let out. And I was able to think about other things again.

I have used this with my kids as well. My girls had a lot of pent-up emotions about their fathers’ suicide. They couldn’t say anything to him; he was gone. And there was so much to say. So they have written him letters upon letters. Some have gotten burned, some have been placed by his grave, others are in shoeboxes in their rooms. But they feel a whole lot better.

Do you write to release emotions? If not, how do you get it out?

xo

Happy Monday! Enjoy!!

http://youtu.be/R9WTlP08LEg

xo

So let’s look. Lent first, I love lent. But not always
Weds and Fridays were Stations. Walking the church to the statues of scenes from the Crucifixion, saying the stations and the prayers. Essays on what we were giving up for lent. Why? How would we be accountable? The questions were asked and answers expected by kindergarten. I grew contemptuous of it until I noticed a difference. These things I was changing because I had to stuck with me. I forgot it was a “chore”, penance, and it became habit. I found myself able to eat no junk food. Quit cussing. Get on an exercise habit. Even the things I wanted to improve upon in my parenting. Having something holding me accountable boosted my success. Self discipline and self control. Those are my reward for observing lent for 30-*cough* years.

As for a better outlook on life in general, take Easter…
“He was crucified, died and was buried.”Jesus took upon himself a most horrifying end. Beaten. Insulted. People gossiped and lied and spread rumors. And they killed him. He hung for hours on that cross, not cursing or screaming of the injustice. Just forgiving. When He had passed, He was lovingly wrapped and buried.
Lesson? Shit happens. Sometimes it’s ugly. But those who love and believe in you will always be there.

“On the third day he rose again….” God brought him to life. He Opened the tomb. Jesus was born again.
Lesson? It gets better. The end is a new beginning if you’ve the strength to see it that way.

When you lose your job, a family member, your home, it’s a terrible experience. It hurts. It’s scary. The pit of your heart seems to fall away under the torrent of tears and emptiness takes its place. Here in this place we have two choices: Let it consume us and we forget to live, or realize that there’s only one option; begin again. And even when you’re alone, you are never alone.

It took many years to see how much my spirituality has improved my life. I always saw the strength the Lord instilled in my, and spent many a day leaning on His shoulder for support. But in all that I do, the lessons from the deep traditions of my faith have bonded me to a positive existence.
How’s about you?

xo

I don’t know about you, but I sometimes find brainstorming to be a difficult task. Staring at those circles and straining for an original idea on the subject leads me to even more frustration than when I realized I had no idea at the get-go. I like something I can get lost in. It seems that when I let myself wander with a particular goal but no rules for obtaining it, those creative neurons start blooming. That’s what makes the black-out poetry so incredibly cool.

You can take song lyrics. An article. A page from your favorite book (though I strongly recommend you leave your books in tact!). You then take the piece and see what you can make out of the words, in the order they are given. Phrases, sentences, whatever you can come up with. The main goal is to get something less than completely nonsensical. Kind of in poem form.

At first thought, it seems like a simple task, no? Not so much, but I found it quite soothing. It also got me thinking. Other ideas and sparks of inspiration came shining through by the time I was done. I began to see things that weren’t initially apparent in more than just the words.
I used the strike out, so if you’re unfamiliar with the song you can read the whole things. But you can do it with the full black-out highlighter, too. Using an online program is more convenient than by hand;  if you are stumped you can go back and “erase” the black-out/lines

Depending on the piece you are using, it can be goofy, mushy, philosophical, or down right dark.  I’ve been listening to The Wall like a manic lately, and decided to use some of their music. Uffda, everything came out dark. But it was fun!

Without further ado, my very first Black-Out Poem

Pigs (Three Different Ones)

Big man, pig man, ha ha charade you are. You well-heeled big wheel, ha ha charade you are. And when your hand is on your heart, You’re nearly a good laugh, Almost a joker, With your head down in the pig bin, Saying “Keep on digging.” Pig stain on your fat chin, What do you hope to find When you’re down in the pig mine? You’re nearly a laugh, You’re nearly a laugh But you’re really a cry. Bus stop rat bag, ha ha charade you are. You fucked up old hag, ha ha charade you are. You radiate cold shafts of broken glass. You’re nearly a good laugh, Almost worth a quick grin. You like the feel of steel, You’re hot stuff with a hatpin, And good fun with a hand gun. You’re nearly a laugh, You’re nearly a laugh But you’re really a cry. Hey you, Whitehouse, Ha ha charade you are. You house proud town mouse, Ha ha charade you are. You’re trying to keep our feelings off the street. You’re nearly a real treat, All tight lips and cold feet And do you feel abused? You gotta stem the evil tide, And keep it all on the inside. Mary you’re nearly a treat, Mary you’re nearly a treat But you’re really a cry.

xo

That is just disgusting to me. How does a mother allow her 2-year-old to become obese? Up until the age of 5 the parent has almost absolute control over their child’s dietary habits. WE buy and make the food. WE feed them. So how do they get so big? Mmm. Bolded a few sentences ago. We ALLOW it.

 But you don’t have to. Here’s how to start raising healthy kids. This needs to stop.

At the Get-Go

You are the authority! From the time the kids are born, you show them how to lead their lives. Good nutrition should go hand in hand with manners, rules, religion. Babies don’t need to be fed all day, so don’t. Toddlers don’t need to carry a juice and snack everywhere. And no kid needs dessert 7 night a week.

Meals

How many families really sit down for supper, at the table, by or before 6pm every night? Eating together has so many benefits. When you participate in conversation you eat slower, allowing you to fill up instead of over-fill. When you eat at a decent hour, there is still time for a desert now and then, but it’s not necessary, as if you were to eat earlier. Eating later causes your food to just sit, because most of us aren’t active that late. It also promotes over-eating because the kids are hungrier at 7:30 than 5:30.
*I have to note that what you’re eating makes a HUGE difference too! Don’t cook out of a box or order in more than once a week! It’s expensive and soooo not good for you or the kids.

Snacks

What does the after school/weekend snack cupboard look like? Stuffed full of chips, cookies, Twinkies, etc? Or is it a fruit bowl, carrots and sugar peas, cheese, peanut butter, and crackers? Kids are always hungry after school. If there is nothing gross for them to snack on they will eat fruits and veggies and healthy snacks. 
*In moderation, junk food is not going to make your kid overweight. Get it for them every now and then. But still, pay attention! Don’t let your kid sit down with the whole bag of chips and container of dip. It will be gone. They are just kids…

Getting Them Active

There is no quicker way to get ‘em off the couch than taking away sedentary activities. Limit their TV and game time. Don’t allow them to hide in their rooms on their phones and laptops. If it’s “too hard” to control, take the damn things away. They will learn real quick that it’s more fun to shoot hoops and bike ride than sit around and sulk. Mom and Dad, you can participate by taking evening walks with them, family bike rides, and trips to the park. Coordinate a kick-ball game or some street hockey. But don’t sit on your butt while telling them to get off theirs.

In the 60′s, there was a 5% child hood obesity rate. In the 80′s it jumped to 6.5%. By 2009 that rate shot to 19.6% of kids. (obesity rates according to Livestrong.com) But look at the cultural differences between decades.
In the 60′s, most households sat down for dinner together every night. A home cooked family meal. Kids ran around outside from morning to dark. There was next to nothing for TV and video games. No all day cartoon channels, Xboxes and PS3′s.
In the 80′s, parents started to become almost obsessive about kids playing outside. Thought they weren’t safe. The cartoon channel came out, along with the Nintendo and Sega. Moms started working more and cooking less.
Anymore, kids have all their entertainment in their rooms. They eat when they want, and usually something micro’d or popped in the oven. Both parents work, or there may only be one. We excuse ourselves because of the time we don’t have and the demands of our jobs.

Have we lost the reality that we are the parents?? We are responsible for raising the future. And their health is just as important to the longevity of society as their brains. A sick person isn’t much good at all, being unable to work, costing the community money, unable to be useful members of society. I don’t think any one of us has the goal of raising an unhealthy, lazy, inactive person…

Where do you stand on this? Should society and doctors be more focused on “fixing” the problem or preventing it through education and programs for parents? Tell us in the comments!

xo

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”

~ Andre Gide

xo

With yesterday spent relaxing, reflecting, and self talking, I have pretty much pieced myself back together. I had just crashed and burned…

The event I ran this weekend was a HUGE success. Miniscule issues with easy fixes were the only things to endure. But Friday morning started off badly; the elevator got stuck with an instructor in it, and there was a room mix up. The Instructor name tags wouldn’t merge with the data base so some of those were missing. I was running like a chicken with its head off for about 2 hours. Got a little panicky with the thoughts of “this is going to be a disaster”.

Things calmed down mid morning and for the rest of Friday, and Saturday, there was nothing. I was able to wander the halls and the vendors, field questions and admire the quilt show. I talked to the ladies, helped them carry their things, and got tons of awesome feedback.

Then suddenly it was done. It was the kind of crash that almost hurts. Months of preparation, errands, working with new people; the lot of it was over. And I felt slightly lost. Not even going to lie.

Isn’t it strange how something that starts out to be a daunting chore turns into the coolest thing you have ever accomplished? I can look at that event and know that a huge part of the reason everything was smooth was because 588 people of 591 were perfectly registered. They had their classes and their information. And it was all me. ‘Cause I’m a Rock Star. But if you would have told me I would accomplish this 6 months ago I’d have told you that you were full of it.

From all this, I learned that there are many ways to unlock your full potential. There are things that you can do that you never knew you could. If you have faith in yourself you can move mountains. Don’t let the beginning be a reflection of the end. It’s a choice; you can learn from the mistakes and fix or you can let problems run your life. At the end of the day, it was what you made it.

What have you accomplished that you never thought you could? Or never even considered attempting?

xo

9 months ago I heard this for the first time. Still applies. Awesome electronica. Sexy. Love it.

http://youtu.be/yF-GvT8Clnk

xo

Six weeks ago the head honcho’s admin assistant called me. “We need your help with data entry. When can you float to this campus?”. Ugh. Really? I don’t like data entry. And I don’t like to call people. But it’s my job to be the go-to girl and I’m not going to let people down. I started spending the afternoons over there, entering people into their classes, calling for alternate choices and to inform of full sessions. About four weeks into it, they dropped the bomb. I will be the admin for the show. The lady I have been working for has training. All day. Both days.

I have never done anything remotly close to this. I almost took an event class, but that’s my extent of even trying to administrate an event, especially one of such porportions. I am an intern. NOT Ms. call her if you have problems, issues, need new class passes, name tags, if there’s a mix up. Or so I had thought.

After donning my big girl panties and winging it (from the “Cult of Done Manifesto” : ” #4 – Pretending you know what you’re doing is almost the same as knowing what you are doing, so just accept that you know what you’re doing even if you don’t and do it”) I began to take notes. And any time M (the head-head honcho of the thing) would say “You have to remember to do…. before you take off Friday” I’d put it in my alarm. Friday. 9 p.m. Balloons in paper room, room signs, candy, linens. With a double alarm. The event ends at 8:30. I’ll R2:D2 at 8:30 then again at 9.

When she asked me what I was doing, I told her. She thought it was ingenious. I told her I knew my limits. I will get done, or what I consider it to be, and leave. Without moving the balloons, putting away the candy, exchanging the linens. It’s my job to do it so I need to make sure it gets done. However that is.

Whatever it may be, from remembering appointments to getting enough sleep, I know what I have to do to get it done. And it’s not too hard, finding out your limits. They show themselves regularly. In work, home, and play.

Look at your life. Do you remember appointments without writing them down? Kids events? Their sports? When you go to sleep at night do you toss and turn, or find yourself up starting laundry you forgot or getting something ready to mail in the morning? Those instances are where you find your limits.

 When you know your problem area’s you have to, just like the 12 steps, admit you struggle with it. If you deny that you can’t remember things, you won’t put a reminder app on your phone. You won’t buy a sticky calendar for the van. Or an in-and-out box for your “parental control station”….or desk.

It’s not always a smooth transition, but you will love how much time you get back when you can admit to yourself you’re not perfect (and especially as the all powerful single parent, it can be hard) and fix fix fix. It takes away stress to give up that worry, which is also a great way to help keep your sanity. And when life is as busy as it is, with people to keep track of, that sanity can be hard to come by. Respect your body and brain telling you ”I need a little help here!!”. These flaws don’t make you weak. They make you you!!  

xo

Still, the images of the woods, the roads, and the big blue sky creep into my daydreams. While shoveling that last snow, working in the yard, or shooting ball that place is always near and dear.

It’s how much care has been taken to preserve these places out in the middle of no where. So many people came together for our nations parks back in the 30′s. They came for a job, but it became a passion.

The Dunbar chapter of the CCC, or Civilian Conservation Corps, sculpted and laid out the park the kids and I go to, as well as all of the fire roads in the area. When you take into consideration the acreage that is covered during the travel of these roads, the task is daunting, to say the least. And all without much damage to the forest. These members of the CCC fought fires, floods, and snow to assist the neighboring communities. Their efforts created some of the most beautiful places, all over the united states. They were the EMT/FD and superman all rolled into one.

When you drive through these woods, you can see the love that was put into making it the peaceful escape it has become for many. One is able to drive for hours, even days through the wilderness, finding adventures, lakes, and parks where you would least expect it.

Every so often you will come across a shrine. Just a little circle made of rocks with a statue of the Virgin Mary in the middle. Maybe an old rosary. Hunters and wanderers used to get lost in those woods. They would finally stop and pray, sometimes for days. Their prayers are still evident today.

The place is beautiful. Magic. And I can’t wait to return to the woods, wander, and dream.

Where’s your peaceful happy place? Do you know its history?

xo

You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.

~ Robin Williams

Happy Hump Day!

xo

I woke up Saturday morning with every intention of building a patio. I have a wonderful patio table and chairs with nothing but the basketball court/driveway or uneven backyard to put it on. Ridiculous. I want to have my patio.

My girlfriend called me about 8 “What’s your plan this weekend?”.

“I’m building a deck”.

“What?!?”.

“Yup. Tell lil bro to get his a$$ in gear, my house, noon”.

I ended up with 2 helpers, my lil bro and their neighbor and her hubby. But before we go into that, Menards.

I love Menards. Their staff is generally helpful and knowledgeable. But of course, when I am on a mission, there seems to be no one around to direct me. No One. I knew more about the questions I was asking than they did. After about 45 minutes I was able to hunt someone down to assist me.
You see, I knew what I was trying to do. I knew how many pieces of wood for the decking, joists, frame, etc. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t missiing anything. I am just a girl, you know….

Once I have my paperwork and supplies, I headed up to the check-out. Lets do this! Or not.
See on this estimate, there was a $79 bucket of screws. I didn’t want a $79 bucket of screws. I wanted four - $16.99 boxes, so I could take some back if I didn’t need it. So instead of grabbing the bucket, I grabbed the four boxes. Get up to the checkout, tell the girl what I did, and the total bill is $140 more than the estimate, with $40 accounted for in float posts.

“Whoa wait a minute” I tell the girl. “What’s the other $100 on here?”

“Well I couldn’t take off the bucket of screws”.

Now mind you, I asked the guy when we were doing the little estimate tool, that I didn’t want the hardware on there, it seemed excessive (and was) and I would grab my own. I got an “Ok, but there isn’t anywhere to take it off the estimate”. Ok then…

I tell the checkout chica this. She wipes out the transaction and rings me back up. Exactly the same way. I told her it was still there, she erased it again and said I would just have to buy the bucket, return it and get the screws I wanted. WTF really?? By this time, Stinky is bored and either wants to go or wander the store. Bubba J is hungry. And I am tired of being there. So I said screw it. Screw the damn screws, and screw Mendards!,  got the bucket, went to the yard and got my lumber and went home.

And the fun began. Between 2-6pm two girls and one guy kicked out an 8x10ft floating patio . The last of the screws were going in as I was pulling out the corned beef and cabbage.

Isn’t it amazing what a little food motivation, and real friendship does for a person? I made closer connections with two  great people. Had fun with the people I love. Have something (aside from a sun burn) to show for it.

Good Times. Goooood Times

xo

http://youtu.be/73dvrir5kig

Happy Monday!!

xo

Apparently some dumb shit wrote a book about how terms like blackball and blacklisted are racist. Using the term black and associating it with something derogatory is completely unacceptable. We should be ashamed. How awful we should use this kind of language.

It is a very sketchy line to be drawing, and assumption to be making about these terms that have been around ever so long, and have never been associated with people of color, just people with a colorful and not so great background. And a pretty dirty deal, in the case of black ball. What it has to do with race, though, I’m not certain. But the things this can do to society’s outlook is incredible. When assuming these terms as racist, you are also connecting the speaker with that “stereo type” of being racist for saying that. Which only breeds more contempt and hatred. Because some guy had to go getting media with something some people love to argue. adding fuel to the fire.

People have lost common sense. If you walked around and asked people what they thought the colors white and black represented, you would be much more likely to hear “good and evil” rather than white people and black people. Angels are white, God is robed in white. The light is white. And the darkest gates of hell? Black. The good witch? Light pink. Wicked witch? Black.

I see this as a grand example of idiocracy seeping into the pores of society.  Yes, I am aware. There are some nasty racist people out there. Their language and references are mean, their rants hard to listen to. There are people who really are prejudice towards the poor, and the people who have made bad decisions in the past (if you’re still making those poor decisions, that’s another issue entirely). But that’s not what it’s about. Some fool is stirring an already bubbling pot, adding to the mix so in time it will explode. Feeding the idea that you should suspect people who use those terms. To see that they’re racist, prejudice, etc, to whomever will take it. Isn’t that a form of prejudice as well??

What do you think? Is society becoming ridiculously sensitive? What is the point of a book like this? To “educate”, or just poke? Let us know in the comments!

xo

If you have spent any time at all on my blog, you have seen me use lists. And the question in class this week just happened to be “Do you find lists and tables useful? How do you use them? What suggestions do you have on using them?”. I love this class.

Of course, lists can be very useful. Tables, too. I use them to sort/make easy to find information and points. Lists can be used for steps, suggestions, and points to remember. Tables work well for comparing numbers. Size charts. Pricing guides.

But we all probably get that. But I have some suggestions for creating lists that were found through trial and error, as well as from seeing well laid out, and poorly laid out lists.

• Be conscious of your reader. Make your list easy to understand, and read. Avoid  running the line under your bullet, and don’t get all technical in your writing. Make extra information understandable, and to the point.
• Does the list make sense? Easy to get “wrong” with unordered lists, if you have things that are optional, but kind of go together don’t put one atop and one on the bottom.
• Make the bullet agree with the list. Use bullets for general info. Letters and numerals for reasons why, things to think about. Numbers represent things that have to go in order! And only use colored bullets or photo bullets if it won’t confuse the reader.
• Don’t make a list just to make a list.
• Bold your main point. And start with it. If you have other things to say, leave them “normal”. It will allow people who don’t need the extra info to get it fast. 

Lists are helpful and powerful. They can allow your blog or site visitors to “grab and go” information, if your goal is to give them some. If you are the most user-friendly resource, they will use your site more often. And tell people.

Hope it helps! Have a great weekend

xo

I had my first experience with broked hearted teeny boppers today. And it got a little gnarly. I am used to things getting ugly before they get worse. They’re teenagers. And girls, none the less.

My Boo has had a rough last 2 weeks. Pushing limits and being a snot. I suspected that it had something to do with her recent break-up with her little buddy who shall remain nameless. He was a nice kid. Came over, wasn’t afraid to have supper and watch some TV or play a game with us all. They had been hanging out for almost 6 months. And really liked each other. As long as there was nothing suspicious and grades weren’t falling, I was cool with it. But he got jealous of the attention she got from the boys in her grade. And she got snarky about it, so he dumped her. She came home and told me, but said it was ok, now she wouldn’t get picked on for dating a kid who’s a grade younger.

I had been asking her ever since, not often, but enough, if all’s ok. She has seemed off. Didn’t get anything. Her attitude would lighten up for a while and all would be normal. Then tonight she was late. For the 3rd time in the last week. I chewed her out and she screamed for me to shut up. Then immediately choked on her words, started crying and ran upstairs. I gave her a few and followed. Knocked and went in. All curled up and sobbing “mama I’m sorry” was my Boo. I dried her eyes and told her enough was enough. Her and I have a better relationship than that. I asked her why after such a great, responsible run, was she going backwards. She looked at me and said “Yeah I didn’t get in trouble for 5 months and then little buddy broke up with me!!” and threw herself to her pillows.

OhMyGoodness. Remembering what it was like to be 13 and knowing what iit’s like to get your heart broke, I almost cried along with her. But I dried her eyes instead. I asked her why she didn’t talk about it. She told me she wanted to, but then she just wanted to forget it.  We sat for an hour talking about her feelings, how she could have approached it differently, and laughed about stuff. I got her mind off of things, telling her that there’s finally a tentative ETA on our SUP board (STOKED!!), and a couple stories from my weekend, as she was with her friends most of it. She was smiling, all was a little better. And although she didn’t go about it all the right way, now I know. I know what’s hurting. She told me. That’s huge, for a 13-year-old. I’m one lucky mama.

It’s rough, parenting through this shit. Lemme tell you. Sometimes you look at these situations and think WTF do you know about love and such anyways? Buck up, he’s just a dumb boy. But don’t say it! If you don’t make them feel stupid about it, and you acknowledge the fact that they have feelings, they will open up to you, and things will get better instead of worse (though it’s never a guarantee that their attitudes won’t be in the toilet for a while). And remember that if you talk to them about all sorts of things, and talk often, they’re more likely to talk to you!

xo

That sounds mean to me, not having time for people. It really does. But I have the habit of caring to a fault. And real friendship takes effort and time. A true friendship gives and takes. You rejoice in their successes and hurt in their struggles. We are confidants and advisers and listeners. Those friends, they know our history, the things we don’t tell people. And we are the keepers of their troubles as well. And we do it without hesitation, because they do it, too.

Over the last ten years, I have been fairly lucky with the 4 people that I have let in (aside from a dumb boy).
My girl and little bro, counted as one, are life savers to me. I help whenever I can. And I am always an ear, a phone call or text away. We give each other different things, but it’s all equal, and simply because we care about each other.
My Texas Besty and I are a perfectly balanced pair. Who ever wakes up earlier calls first, by 6:30, 3-4 days a week and for a 2 hour call every Saturday. We talk about everything, cry, laugh and get mad. We are each others sounding boards and shoulders. From 1500 miles.
And my Thirsty Thursday pal. We see one another once, maybe twice a month. We talk, vent, and conspire against unsuspecting people. lol. Not really, but it’s all good.

So yeah. It’s good. But that’s only 3 people. The fourth, I am struggling with. A lot.

You know how it was in high school? You would acquire an “imposter” friend. When you would meet this person, hit it off great. You did all kinds of stuff with each other, confided, made mischief. And then somewhere, something happened. Maybe in all these years since then, you still haven’t figured it out. But she turned on you. Talked about you and made nasty remarks. Visibly cut you out of all aspects of her life. Ever have that? I bet most of us girls, at least, have.

Well, that’s the scenario. And I’m still not sure what it is that I did to smite her, but I am about done. I have sucked it up through a lot of shit. And because I care, even as recent as the weekend did I console and comfort. Only to find myself target of a snotty comment online. I want to know why. I can guess, and would bet that I’m right, but I hate assuming anything…..and it’s not even my deal, if i am right. Just caught in the middle.

I think what bugs me more than anything is that we are both grown-ups. And I am one of the most even tempered, kind, empathetic people you will ever meet. It just makes me wonder, is this just how it is for everyone, friending women? Do we really, constantly have to be aware of the risk that we could get our feelings and possibly our personal confidences fucked over? I used to think it was just me being overly cautious. But now, I wonder. If someone’s got an idea, please share.

xo

I spent a good part of last night deep in conversation with a friend of mine. We were discussing the treatment of kids in sports. How teams are run.

My kids have all played soccer for years now. It’s a fantastic sport, and the league tolerated no poor sportsmanship from the players, or the parents. This is one of the prime reasons they have stayed in the sport for so long.

It’s so disheartening for me when you go the kids’ sports games (I’ve found baseball to be the worst) and there are parents that are arguing with the ump. Getting mad at the coach because their all-star kid isn’t playing. Or on the flip side getting a coach that will bench the mediocre players 90% of the game. My friends’ son was treated like a second-rate player his 2nd year of hockey and hated it. He quit at the end of the season and has never looked back. All because he wasn’t as good as the rest, and it was made clear that his best wasn’t good enough.

Has the culture of kids’ sports changed so much that we as parents and adult coaches are more interested in winning the game than letting all of the kids practice their sportsmanship, teamwork, and skills?? What happened to letting the kids play? Recognizing them for their accomplishments, based on their skill level, not everyone elses.

When I put my kids in sports it was mostly because they wanted to, but also because of the camaraderie. The new things they will learn. The experiences. The exercise. I love it when they win, but I don’t care one way or the other, as long as they played well and with respect.

Do your kids play sports? How do you feel about sideline screamers, poor sports, and coaches obsessed with winning? What do you think a sports team for kids should be?

xo

Camp is a fantastic experience. It gives the kids a sense of self. Of responsibility. They don’t have you breathing down their neck, they have to make their own good choices.
Beyond that, they get to try new things and make new friends. It is a safe environment to help them step out of their comfort zone, and often times discover they’re really not at all afraid of kayaking or they are good at shooting a bow and arrow.

Not sure where to start?

The best place to look  for a camp for your kids is the YMCA. There are usually 2 or 3 camps per region, run by different branches of the Y. If you are a member of a church, they generally have a place that hosts camp as well. If you google “summer camps for kids in…(your state)…” you will find many different portals for information. This one is great http://www.kidscamps.com/. You can search by state, interest, age group, all kind of stuff.

You are going to want to look at those camps that are in the general vicinity of where you, mom and dad, are going to be while the kids are at camp. At least until they get a little older. This way if there is an emergency, or your kid’s not ready for the great outdoors without you, you don’t have to take a huge road trip. There is bus transportation for a small fee, usually being dropped off/picked up at your local Y, or a neighboring one.

As you are browsing camps, you will see the staggering prices. Camp can run anywhere from $250-$800 per week. Week!  Do a site search for scholarships. And “pay your way” programs. Many camps offer the campers door to door sales items, as well as online fundraisers to help them get to camp. You can also contact the YMCA or United Way to find if there are scholarships. Those you will generally write an essay about why you want your kids to go and what you are able to pay. You can go as low as $75 per camper if your situation warrants it.

Once you find a couple feasible options, print out their offerings, complete with camp session details. Look over the brochures with your kids. Let them decide what they want to try, giving gentle suggestions. Remember, this is about them, not you. What scares you may excite them and what you like they may despise. Let ‘em pick. They all go by age. **If you have more than one child, I have found it easier to send them to the same camp, same week, different programs. I do this with mine and they don’t see each other except at the fire. Then they snuggle together and talk to each other about their days.

Not that everyone is stoked to go, you have to have the gear. They will need a sleeping bag, pillow, tagged clothing, notebook, reading book, suit, sunscreen, bug spray, flashlight, poncho, etc. etc. etc. The camp will send you a packing list, along with the umpteen hundred forms you need to fill out and have signed by the Dr. 
For the things they will need, scrounge up what supplies you have in the house. Whatever’s left, start picking it up here and there. You will be very surprised to find that you don’t need to purchase much.

The rest, it’s just memories!

Camp will last your kids their lifetime. The memories and experiences will make them stronger and braver people.

Do you do camp? How has it affected your kids?

xo

Over the course of my adventure, with the troubles with IExploder and things like that, I pretty much have laying out the site down to a science. I know what tags do what, have figured out spry and nesting. Due to my daily writing habits, the content part is coming pretty easy for me as well.
Then there is the design. And when you are “design, development, & content”. Yeah. You should probably care about design. An ugly-ass site isn’t going to do anything good for anybody.

So I sent out the link to one of the sites. Then I took a good look at it. I can’t quite articulate what I was feeling. Dread? Oh damn? Not too sure.But it was blinding. Hard to look at. The color was shades brighter than on the design software. Damn, damn, damn.

Fortunately, my friend for whom I’m building this, was gracious enough to point out the fact that it was not friendly. But not only that, she sent me links to things she likes. Superb! I must always ask for that…

Now I have the general look accounted for. But colors need to be ironed out. And at that point my brain wanted to explode. Break time. I took a stack of magazines out to the garage and had a smoke. Flipping through Better Homes and Gardens I came across the little paint can covers; color schemes that work. Hallelujah. I began to flip through each one, tearing out the pages with anything from color combinations to textures in the bedroom. This was a design Jackpot.

You may think I am cracked. It’s home decor. Wall paint. And “A classic powder room”.  But if you take out the sink, change the wall to a monitor and the throw pillows to sidebars, you can see how textures, colors and patterns layer, match and compliment eachother. It’s great for ideas, and the work of matching has already been done.

Armed with pages of inpiration and sites to take in, I’m confident I can crank out what is needed. And I’m fortunate enough to be working with someone who isn’t afraid to say “change that!” Thank You!!

xo

…..Where do you get ideas for color and layout design??

I have sung to all of my kids, up to about 5. I only have one left that wants me to sing. Just my little Stink. Everyone else is too cool or is “listening to the radio”. But Stinky, he wants to hear Old Rockin Chair. And Lavender Blue.

I’m sure he doesn’t get the lyrics, he just hears me singin to him. But it makes me laugh. What a strange little song. But that’s just how we roll, me and my mom

Have a great Monday

xo

But it was put to rest for a little while yesterday. The snow Friday stuck around in big, wet gobs. It was everywhere. And I strategically shoveled it into the backyard for a mini sleddin hill. Yesterday afternoon it was mild enough to keep it wet, and we went out and played.

Let me tell you what. It has been a long time since I went out and played with the kids. There hasn’t been the snow-as-usual around here this year. And I must have gotten a little lazy. I kinda hurt.

Head to math class that morning. I’m a little early and all set to go, so I decide to check my site here. Holy Frijoles. Talk about looking like shit. The font was different, which I knew could happen, but I didn’t know it would change size, alignment, etc. And when you navigate? Everything blinks out. The same divs for each page flash and are not even close to being aligned the same as in the other browsers.

I wanted to cry.

But I didn’t. Headed to the loving resource of the internet to find out wtf the deal is with IE. I learned some interesting stuff as if I were writing all the code. A cool syntax tag that allows you to make multiple divs for IE and non IE. But I do NOT have the time for that. And it has been an epic fail, trying to write code into Dreamweaver….

The first thing I came across was Adobe Browser Lab. Super cool program. You put in an address and it will show you the page in tons of different browsers, so you know where your problems are. Check it out.

So that’s great. I get re-assured that the site at least looks good in 90% of the browsers. Deal

But now what.

This is where you can use the browser compatibility option in Dreamweaver. It checks your coding for compatibility against browsers (where I mentioned above; finding where your problems are? You can speed the check by checking only the ones you need to change). You get a nifty little report. Take said report to the Adobe CSS advisor website and see what they can do about your code.

So WHY?? What’s different?

I am super stoked to have found a fix. But I have to know. Why is IE SO much different than any of the browsers?? Why isn’t there a standard coding set out there to make every page look the same in every browser? I get the font thing, but this alignment problem? That’s just bullshit….

After silence, that wich comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music”

~ Aldous Huxley