First off, its great for just people watching. There are always people making music or performing, there are tons of vendors, and even the people just walking around like you are so interesting to watch.

I inserted a gallery of some photos for you all.

the venders at the market cater to every sort of Portlander. In my case, its cats and outdoor related things.

This weekend, I found a vendor selling custom fleece items like vests and jackets, which made me think of my father because he would always give me and my mother and sister new fleece items for our family camping trips.

There is also always tons of food carts. Portland is getting to be known for these, but some of the ones at the market are amazing. One of the pictures in the gallery is of my boyfriend pointing at a cart selling homemade European food, which didn’t impress Sam very much after 8 months in Austria.

You can find almost any kind of food if you look hard enough.

The original market is under the Burnside Bridge in Portland, but it has branched out along the waterfront and back into the streets, blocking traffic, and surrounding the MAX tracks, so at least you can take the MAX to get to the market easily.

A lot of the pictures are of a man who was making a living juggling and doing other performances to get tips at the market. This weekend he was juggling huge knives while balancing on a mini homemade teeter-totter. He was actually very good and made a lot of amusing jokes.

There are tons of street performers in Portland.

I hope people enjoy the photos! Go to the market!

A hundred years ago these four wheeled wagons were the only way of conveying corn, straw and hay around the farm; and around the countryside too, as far as the local railway station. Heavier goods like roots, gravel and muck normally demanded a more robust two wheeled cart. The change has been quite astonishing.  On Dec 30 2011 I published a blog with a picture of wagons drawn by horses gathering the harvest at Costessey in about 1910. By the 1920s tractors and trailers had begun to appear on farms, but horses were still common. But by 1950 the horse drawn wagon or cart was already obsolete. Centuries had seen the slow change from ox carts to horse drawn wagons, and now less than half a century had witnessed the conversion to the internal combustion engine.

Certain features were the same wherever the cartwright worked, such as elm for the wheel hubs and ash for the fellies, but each county had its distinctive proportions. Also the words used to describe parts of the wagon varied from county to county. This one had red for the wheels and blue for the bodywork, a popular colour scheme across the country. In this case the exterior of the wagon was painted red, the blue being restricted to the interior. The blue paint has retained much of its former intensity, but the red is very faded. 

The four wheeled wagon was introduced to East Anglia by the Dutch in the sixteenth century. Before the wagon became a common method of transport over short distances  goods were often moved by packhorse. Two wheeled carts were drawn not by horses but by slower oxen. Rivers were used to carry corn to the local mill. The Dutch who brought with them the more capacious for wheeled wagon came to drain the Fens, but also to escape religious persecution. Even with this improvement transport remained difficult.

The Dutch brought many things with them. Their weaving reinvigorated the cloth trade in Norfolk and Suffolk, and it is thought they introduced the Norwich canary; the use of the word plain to describe a place or square, which is widespread in Norfolk, corresponds to the plein of the Netherlands. Eindhoven for example has a Stationsplein. There is also a hint of Holland in the 17th century architecture of  East Anglia, particularly Kings Lynn.

In this view of the rear of the wagon shows the rear shutlock nearest to you. This has been decorated with elegantly chiselled chamfers. Directly below this is the coupling pole. Where this crosses the axle it is connected to the superstructure by the bolster. This also has a curved chamfer, though less intricately decorated than on the more visible shutlock. These chamfers served to reduce the weight of the wagon without compromising its strength. Note there is also a wooden roller to make the loading and unloading of heavy articles easier. On the coupling pole there is an iron loop for attaching a rope if the wagon needs pulling out of a rut. This has been made by a blacksmith who has decorated it with a twist on each side.

In 1900 a new farm wagon would cost about £30 and might have been expected to last 50 years or more. In the event changes moved on so swiftly that many were abandoned long before their natural life was over. Trailers with steel wheels and pneumatic tyres tool their place while the horse was replaced by the internal combustion engine. At first the tractor was too valuable a piece of equipment to use just for pulling sheaves of corn to the threshing machine and was used to drive more complicated things like elevators. To a certain extent this prolonged the life of the four wheeled wagon.

In this view of the side of the wagon you can see the iron stays or staves – called copses – that hold the outrave, the rail at the top of the sides. This example has the front wheels small enough to pass under the body. This improves the lock but a smaller wheel will not support so great a load without sinking in to ground. Most wagons had larger front wheels that extended above the lower rave – the planks that make up the body of the wagon. There was a whole language to be understood, unique to the wheelwright’s trade; the felloes (or fellies) for instance are the sections of the wheel’s rim. The words varied across the countryside. One of the wheelwright’s tools remains in use today under its old name – the spokeshave, once used for shaping the spokes of the wheel.

By late Victorian times these carts and wagons would mostly have been built by the local Agricultural Engineer, who employed a wheelwright and blacksmith among other (now vanished) tradesmen. William Bush of Cawston had the prestigious task of making carts for the Royal Estate at Sandringham. The order was being built in the early 20^th century.

This cart was left in a decaying wooden barn in central Norfolk; ther building was roofless and soon to be demolished. No doubt the wagon was destroyed too. This was in 1973, and the cart had probably been abandoned since the end of the Second World War.

JOSEPH MASON

joemasonspage@gmail.com

THE BLOG FOR MEMORIES OF EAST ANGLIAN LIFE

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Additionally equipped with footbrake, camera grip and hook for safety-rope.

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Note: The reason I’m keep saying “us” and “we” is because this was originally intended for Cracked, but after some good  pointers (Thanks again guys), I decided to scrap this and do something new. Enjoy!

We don’t all play videogames at the same rate as the radio plays the satanic verse poem that is Call Me Maybe. Some of us just prefer a good book and a crumpet (whatever the hell that is) instead. But some games you just can’t say no to, unlike a game of charades with your slightly better half and his/her flakey OK Magazine reading associates from work.

Let Mortal Kombat represent our point; because you just can’t deny the hydrogenated greatness that is the bloody, action filled, virtual crack rock of M.K. The updates make it even better! (rich graphics, awesome levels/minigames, and a storyline that gives A Never Ending Story a run for it’s money, except that A Never Ending Story and Mortal Kombat aren’t even relatively comparable.)

But then there are your killjoys that live in their “Hobbit Holes” (Dad’s basement) and sob bullcrap onto forums like, “Oh, it’s not as good as the earlier ones, you can’t get above 100% damage and it’s not as fast and-” hurp a durpa durp!

But their batshit horking of words actually inspires a decent point. There are a lot of things that Nintendo and Genesis were doing right that really shouldn’t have been cast away into the recesses of every “cool” grandparent’s horde closet (right in between their chipped 7 year old Canon from Best Buy and the folded blanket with some cartoon character on it that stopped being aired 30 years ago (wild guess)).

So, like any good samaritans on the internet, we’re going to extensively bitch about video games!

1. The Ease of Fixing a Glitch

There are many things (hopefully) you can decide to do in life, and in your self fabricated bubble in this world. You could make new life, decide what to nourish yourself with and how, who to love, who to hate, what to make, what to destroy, and overall, what you’ll do right here and now.

But game glitches don’t at all care about your right to free will, and will happen at any time and console and game they please. Because they can, and your console is probably fully aware of it.

What do you do if you turn on your NES and Super Mario Brothers looks like you’re hungover and just upchucked Fruity Pebbles all over the screen? Take out the cartridge, blow the dust out, pop it back in, and you’re playing the game.

What do you do if GTA3 on your PS2 freezes on the unnecessary load screen that attempts to make the game seem faster paced than it actually is?

I’ll tell you; you’re going to spend an hour and a half of your life googling phrases along the lines of “how to fix ps2 game glitch” or “how to clean ps2”, then you’ll read a couple of those articles, and try to smother your disc in Speed Stick. Then when thats done, you’ll put it back in, cross your fingers, maybe even beg the great forces that they’ll smile upon your meager, mortal attempts to fix the game.  Then, it will either do what it was doing 2 hours earlier or (some the hell how), glitch out even worse. Or even better yet! Your arrogant-sonofabitch game console will tell you “Disc read error” after trying to read the game for approximately, 7 and a half seconds.

Because when it comes to appliances, game consoles are assholes; If they were half as dependable as toasters, nerd society as a whole would be a much better place.

2. The Surplus of Accessories/ Controller Options

Children are children because they haven’t experienced the shit end of life yet, and to them, life is just a magical ride (hey society, take it as a hint) where you can mix and match everything in grand existence, whether that be food on their little Zoo Pal plates that ends up getting smeared everywhere, or Paints to make new colors that end up getting smeared everywhere, or your personal collection of $80 colognes from JC Penny, that end up getting smeared everywhere.

The fact that you could mix and match like 100 different plug-ins to make every game you play a totally different experience was balls-awesome! And yea some didn’t work (case and point; R.O.B), but the ones that did just made life way awesomer! And besides, your parents can simply get more money anyway, because that’s how the world works!

Like the Game Genie for instance! If you’re not a gamer with I-have-no-life level skills, how much time do you spend looking up cheat codes, and game tips, and walkthroughs and shit? OK, probably not much because you have a life, but stay with us here. Imagine just bypassing all of that by running a program that gave you a huge arsenal of cheats, power-ups, and even level skips; Game Genie in a nutshell, for today’s gamer.

Now what do we have? Flimsy sensor guns that barely resemble a gun, “Zumba belts” that look suspiciously like strap ons, flat pieces of plastic for fat people to stand on, and those annoying plastic Wiimote frames that answer the question, “what does not even trying anymore look like?”. Like screw that, bring back the Laserscope, or the U-Force, hell, we’ll even take the friggin’ Power Glove one more time, and that’s saying a lot.

A real lot.

3. Game Music

One of the most important parts of a game is the music used to put you in the moods needed to play and feel the game. 85-95% of the time, that mood would be, pumped up and ready for virtual violence that surely won’t manifest itself into actual violence.

The best formula for this is in your insulation poisoned attic in a shoebox that squirrels have been using as their chamber pot. They had the right idea (the games, not the squirrels).  All you needed 80% of the time was random blips and bloops and a bassline. And it was great then. Now we live in the age of Dubstep.

If these companies know anything, it must be that their target audience consist of children who are busy smearing things, and belligerently caffeinated and medicated teenagers who have nothing better to do but see how many times they can scream “faggot” on their headsets. These are the people who listen to Dubstep. And what would pump you up more while playing a violent game than a hardly by definition rhythmic bass line and random wubs and vrmmms screaming at you?

Not that music is too bad now, but when you’re slashing zombies in God of War, would it drive your endorphins more to  hear violins and a chorus of singers, or a medley of arcade-y electric bad assness?

We don’t know about you, but we say it’s about time to bring the whole arcade at home concept back, which brings us to our next thing to bitch about.

4. Range of Colors  

Most video games today look like darkness and seclusion had a depressing love child. For games like Silent Hill or Dead Space, thats fine, but it doesn’t need to be like that for every single game above an E 10+ rating.

Like Super Metroid on SNES. For it’s time it was a pretty adult game (which didn’t stop sugar high crib midgets from playing it), but it doesn’t look like Voldemort’s wet dream all the way through! There’s a good range of color mixed in the game that makes it exciting enough to surprise you, and appealing enough to appreciate and look at for hours on end without depressing you enough to want to slit yourself and attempt to overdose on nutmeg.

It’s not at all impossible to make something bright and colorful look scary as hell (as proven by The Teletubbies). And besides, if anything, bright colors make things not only much more engaging, but way scarier once you actually get it down to a science. Yellow is the most irritating and attention grabbing color on the spectrum, humans are the most receptive to certain shades of green, and reds, purples, and browns are injury colors that inspire primal instinct to scare the living shit out of you!

So it would actually improve a game overall for the designers to substitute their 3 hours of watching porn at work to add actual colors instead of just hashing together a toned down grey, black, white, and blue leaching of dry desperation. If we wanted to be depressed and bored by a video game, we’d play Jumper on 360.

5. Ease of Starting Games  

This is a big deal.

If you get tired of a game and want to play another one on say, an NES for example, what do you do? You turn the console off, pop out the the game, pop in a new one, turn on the console, press reset, and you’re playing the game (after maybe just 2 or 3 minutes of backstory).

What happens if you start a typical game on 360? Well after you initially quit the first game, wait for it to go back to the console menu, and then take the disc out, you’ll get to put in the next game.

Yup. Then you’ll have to wait for either the first of many logos to pop up, or maybe an update warning, followed by said logos. After that, you get to the menu. Then, if you’re starting a new game, you have to make up your avatar for like 5 minutes. After that loads, you have to watch an infinite opening clip that attempts to explain the backstory, but leaves you not knowing really any more than you already did.

Then what happens? Does the game start? Yes; if you have a well behaved 360 specimen. Otherwise, you run the likely risk of getting a disc read error right before the actual game starts.

Why does something as simple as playing a game have to be this satanic ritual consisting of pop ups and errors and options and load screens and footage and shit? Seriously, if you open a board game you don’t have to sit there for 20 minutes while you hear a story of how the game was created and why and then decide what pair of night vision goggles your piece is going to wear, no, you open the game and you play the damn game, period!

3.20 minutes < 20 Minutes

6. Durable Equipment

When you drop a few hundred bucks on a game system, you’re obviously not doing that with the intention of it lasting a week. So nothing is better than having all of those shiny things be equal parts durable.

Alright, snafu number one.

You’re getting evicted from your trailer because you haven’t paid your rent in 4 months because you’ve been spending all of your cash from busing at Ryan’s on Papa John’s and Steam games.

Naturally, you have to move out. This is when you, instead of saving money by putting shit in your banged up 85’ Caravan, rent a UHaul, for $150 bucks, for absolutely no reason except that, “It makes me feel like a trucker!”.

So you’re on your way to re-establish your parasitic ways into your parent’s lives, when you’re blown out RCA stereo set slams into the side of your PS3, cracking and overall, damaging any chances you have of clearing all missions in Gundam 2. Meanwhile, your Sega Genesis from the good ol’ glory days of childhood is right next to it, and isn’t affected by the impact at all, unlike your relationship with that anime chick you met on Zoosk a few weeks back.

And que snafu two.

You’re playing the newest FPS that you’ve been saving an extra fifty bucks to mash at all weekend. You’re playing online because you’ve done nothing but play story mode all weekend and managed to get through it without realizing that you’re on the verge of cardiac arrest from the lack of proper fluids and sleep for the past 39 hours. Just when you’re about to successfully destroy your sympathetic nerve, some asshole with no life strategically takes you out with 10-ish grenades.

Your first reaction is to throw the controller right? Well unlike the $500 trailer you lived in for six months prior to moving back in with your parents, your folk’s have nice, solid walls in their dwelling. You chuck a controller hard enough to scare the dead piss out of a slow pitch softball player, and it breaks into several now meaningless chunks that are worth about 16 bucks each (well, pieced together they were).

Had you done the same thing with your Genesis controller playing Zero Tolerance in the 90’s, you probably wouldn’t have even cracked it. Of course, it was in part because there weren’t as many mechanisms and buttons in the controller that needed to be in there as PS3 controller, but in the age where we have the amazing capability to make data chips the size of Cheez-Itz, what the hell is the excuse? And as for the form of the controller and buttons and junk, why not fill it out with rubber or plastic which makes the controller more durable anyway? And the same goes for the consoles also; fill that shit out with protective solids or something, it’s not like we’re dropping the poor things from 20 story buildings, we would just like our consoles not to virtually implode if they fall 3 feet onto our carpet.

But there’s still an elephant in the room; why the hell does a NES from nearly 30 years ago still run, but an Xbox 360 can’t even get through 9 months of use without getting a red ring and ultimately committing some non-biological form of suicide? If a game system that uses your cable port to hook up to a TV can last as long as it does, there really isn’t an excuse for a normally used, state of the art, console to just give up when a few too many particles of dead skin fly into it. Someone needs to fix this soon, before our 27th Xbox breaks and we finally in good conscious decide that we have better things to do with our lives and stop giving microsoft

In a society where 1 out of 5 people are angry bastards, and roughly 6 to 10 people play video games, controllers and consoles really needs to be made that can handle nerd rage, aging, and  innocent mistakes.

And feed us taquitos. A controller that could feed us taquitos would be radtacular.

7. Video Game Artwork

The cover of a videogame can almost be as big of a deal as an album cover. There’s Dark Side of the Moon and Nevermind, and then there’s Fallout 3 and Contra. Point being, the cover is what starts your imagination up and gives you expectations for a game before you even put it in.

When it comes to this area, Nintendo cartridges still dominate. Take a game like NES Football, a cryptic, over-pixilated, boring dung heap that make reruns of Dr. Phil 10 times more astounding to witness, and you’ll note that the art on it enthrals you enough to play even that game!

The biggest things are one, colors again, and two, the effort put in. Not to say we don’t appreciate a good computer generated piece of art, but this is versus a painting. Who paints anything anymore?

We need Bob Ross back; he’ll paint us some happy little RPGs.

8. Overall Aesthetic Pleasantness  

Put a shelf of game cartridges on your wall, all facing forward to show the labels. Now on another wall, put all your Xbox and Playstation game cases (or even the discs by themselves) facing front on display.

Now tell us; which wall looks like a hoarder music video, and which wall looks like you’re a rich geek? (which these days is one of the best things you could possibly be.)

Cartridges have a certain property that discs just don’t have, and that’s that they can be accessories and decorations, as well as functioning entertainment.

Keeping an arranged plethora of NES carts on a shelf says “Yo sweet thing, I’m a gamer, but I have my own place and money and shit, which is why I have tastefully displayed my fine collection of retro games to you, because I have a better taste in culture than simple minded RPGs and such gaming fair”. When you have random stacks of CDs or cases being flaunted in the same manner, it says “Hey sugar bug, I’m a gamer, and I like to keep my clunky collection of off brand platformers from 4 years ago on mom’s display table, because I must share my love of hoarding stupid, dorky, shit with everyone who comes into my dwelling in order to feel one with the universe; it guarantees the safety of both the genocide mission on my brain cells, and the man-cherry that I’m not going to pop until the stable, responsible, age of 62, because abstinence is totally rad dude, just like the Mountain Dew I had for breakfast.”

The short version: one item makes you look like a sexy, hipsterlicious, pre-aristocrat genius, and the other makes you look like an unorganized, man child who looks oddly familiar because the woman in question goes to Pizza Hut for lunch every other Tuesday.

The chief gist is that company-logo defaced game discs and un-cheeky plastic cases just don’t hold the same charm that carts do. Of course we have to be reasonable (because Cracked.com is nothing but top of the line, responsible, moral, well spoken men and women). 64 bits isn’t worth 10 cents and a half eaten bag of Combos these days, so games have to have enough data to make Atari Pong infinity times to be properly pimped. So instead of actual cartridges, why not just make glorified USBs that look like carts? A USB cost virtually nothing, and plastic is relatively cheap.

Which by the way, that thin, hollow, plastic that would be used to make the carts in question (which would look pretty chic being only three or so inches anyway) can be plastic recycled from landfills, rejected prototypes, old game cases, etcetera, so it can be as green as it is bossin’.

We know you’re reading this Nintendo. Come onto thicker ice with the rest of corporate-America.

>>*<<

We understand that as things advance, certain things are going  to be sacrificed, and don’t get us wrong we do enjoy what we have now. But whether you totally agree with the points we’ve made here or not, you have to admit that when it comes to videogames, at least, some things should have just stayed the way they were.

Translation: We’re going to be slow sliced for writing this by gamers and trolls alike, so we’re going to cover our asses as much as we can by putting a verbal buffer at the end of this article.

Seriously, leave, we’re totally innocent guys. We’ll even give you Vinnie’s address, just leave us and our families be.

-Raven Vinnie

If you liked this post, please go like the R.V. page on Facebook. Also don’t forget to like and comment this post, and share it among your game snob friends.

Thanks!

Rosco

ROSCO: Hey Jigs- So cool of you to spend a minute talking to me.

Jiggy at bath time.

JIGGY: No prob, Dude.

ROSCO: How long have you been at Coppercreek?

JIGGY: Ummm…probably about 13 years or so. I was kind of a wild thing when I arrived. Lornie’s Aunt Les picked me up as a rescue near Fresno. I remember they had to build a box in her trailer because they were worried I was going to jump out. Crazy. I am not that stupid but it was pretty funny watching them try to figure out how to get me from the box to Lornie’s trailer on the side of a road. I made them think I might take off but I didn’t in the end- just jumped from one trailer to the next. They backed them together and sort of herded me out like a sheep or something.

ROSCO: Wow. What happened next?

Jiggy and Zach

JIGGY: When I arrived at camp, Lornie was a little confused as what to do with me until she got the crazy idea of turning me into a cart horse. The next thing I knew I was put into some serious training. Lots of handling, lunging, they would wag scary stuff at me to make me not afraid. Excuse me? What is it about flapping bags in horse’s faces that makes people think we won’t be afraid anymore? They finally realized I wasn’t afraid to begin with. Hello? It is just a plastic bag.

ROSCO: How did you get your name?

JIGGY: Thankfully, Coppercreek had this great dance instructor named Jon who made all the staff learn a dance to Will Smith’s “Gettin Jiggy With It” during staff week. Lornie decided the name Jiggy fit me because of all my wild spots. Sure beats a lame name like “Spot” or “Dot”. Now my whole family is called something from Will Smith. I have my lady, “Jada” and my two kids, Willow and “Wicked Wild Wild West”,  but we just call him JJ.

ROSCO: Tell me more about this cart business. All I know is I like to bark at the wheels when you go trotting by.

Gold Digger’s Day Parade

JIGGY: After I was driven all over camp and in a few parades, Lornie decided I needed to show, so off we went. I hit the American Miniature Horse Association show circuits and did pretty well. I think people were a bit amused at seeing this crazy looking thing in classes when really the rage, at the time, was bay horses.

Showing with Kalli

I got this following though and every time I entered the show arena, all these fans would scream and clap. I must admit, it was kind of fun. And man, there were some nice looking mares at these shows, all dolled up and looking pretty. I was a bit alarmed at some of the other guys and how they behaved towards these gals. I mean, come on, you have to always remember to be a gentleman. Besides, when I behave, Lornie gives me Honey Nut Pretzels.

ROSCO: So what do you do at camp?

Driving session

JIGGY: I am in charge of taking campers around the trails in the cart. Beauty, that cute little black mare, helps me. It’s pretty fun. Sometimes I get a bit confused when the campers don’t watch where they are going. Fortunately, I have had my driver’s license for a long time now and make sure we avoid trees and stumps.

ROSCO: What is your favorite part of camp?

A little song about Jiggy.

JIGGY: I love it when I get to go up on stage at Campfire or attend a dance in costume. I secretly hope I will get discovered because my dream is to star in a movie some day.

ROSCO: Oh hey- I gotta run. Craig is on the move and my job is to follow him every where!

JIGGY: See you later!