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Google searched: “Social media stock photo”

Social media sites are the hot sixth grade girl that wears a skirt to school every day of the week. She’s the first girl in the grade to start wearing skirts because she’s the first to hit puberty. Except in this case, the first idea gets a lot of money instead of handjobs underneath the lunch table. As a trailblazer myself, I’ve decided to go ahead and offer up three ideas for social media/sharing sites that need to happen.

3. Dumpster

The original Dumpster post

Dumpster is the first social media site that is based exclusively around the concept of feces. Users can take pictures or videos of themselves pre, during, and post-dump, and post them online so that others can see. Going along with this, users can also update their moods and how they felt about their bathroom session.

“New post: Should have eaten more fiber lol”

Why would Dumpster work? People want to share pieces of information of their lives and Dumpster offers that next step into total social media life integration, or TSMLI. This is a concept that I engineered myself where individuals update every waking second of their lives and in every fashion.

I know that after a successful bowl movement, many individuals feel compelled to share this information. With that in mind, there is almost never an opportunity to do so in normal, non-sociopathic conversation. Dumpster allows people to capitalize on their inner-most desires of sharing, acceptance, and pride.

2. DVorce

“I am sick of dressing in matching outfits with you! This is going on DVorce.”

DVorce is a social media application that allows users a forum to update the details of their divorce proceedings. From the first time she catches you cheating with the neighbor’s daughter to dropping your lousy kids off for their week with your ex, DVorce is the premiere site to use.

“I’ll need to post a picture of this document to DVorce to finalize everything.”

Why would DVorce work? Simple: Drama sells baby. Just ask TNT, they know all about it! People like to see other people’s lives crumble in front of them. That’s why tabloids exist. You think anyone really cares about whether Amanda Bynes will be ok? In all fairness, she’s the first real-life Bratz doll, so at least she’s got that.

Going along with the first point, other divorcees can use DVorce as a support system for their hard times. Approximately half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce, so you know there’s plenty of desperate people out there. DVorce would also act as a dating media site where divorcees can rebound with one another, hopefully get married, and then divorced again. It never ends, and neither will the money.

1. Catbook

“Meow meow meow, meow meow.”

Catbook is the first all-feline social media platform. It takes a previously untapped market – kitty cats – and turns it into one of the biggest potential money-makers in today’s economy. Users will be able to post photos, share statuses, and interact with other cats worldwide.

“Meow? Meow meow meow.”

Why would Catbook work? Cats already have a HUGE share in internet content. You can’t visit 5 sites without seeing a macro image of a frowny-faced cat with some goofy text on top and bottom. They are the 99 percent of the internet. If the 1 percent (humans) doesn’t figure this out, we’ll get run off the road. The internet road.

Most statisticians will tell that cats can’t operate a computer or a smart phone and that it would be a waste of time and money to invest in such a venture. These guys are assholes because they just don’t get it. Cats know way more than they let on. Why do they always lay on people’s keyboards? The cats are trying to annoy their owner so that they’ll leave and the cat can get on. Duh.

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Traveller Deals – The Age
G Adventures is offering a 15 per cent discount on two departures of its Local Living Mongolia: Nomadic Life eight-day tour. The departures are on August 25 and September 15. The tour commences in Ulaanbaatar from where participants travel by horseback …
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West Virginia Good Sams celebrating Mayberry RFD at Spring Samboree
Many chapters just enjoy spending time with each other at local camp outs or traveling in caravans together. The pleasure most members receive from the various get–togethers is the sense of sharing a common interest, swapping travel adventures and …
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People will never cease to confuse me. Or make me smile. Even when it comes to complete strangers. What I do know though is what leads these mystery people to my blog. There’s this WordPress functionality that allows you to see the search engine terms people have used and that lead them to my blog. Of course, it doesn’t show who they are or where they’re coming from. All I can see is a list of different search terms. And these are pretty telling: on the one hand some of them simply make me giggle, on the other hand there are those which do say quite a lot about the topics I tend to write about. Here’s a breakdown of five of my favorite search enginge terms.

Berlin depressing

Oh my. Do I really complain that much about my hometown? Shoot. Then again, Berlin in the winter isn’t a pleasant experience at all. After all, hasn’t it been scientifically proven that a lack of sunshine has a negative effect on people? There you go! And honestly, I have said it before and I’ll say it again: public transportation in Berlin tends to be a mess. But rather of the kind that irritates you as compared to being depressing.

Why is Scully so stubborn?

Well, why not? She is science personified, Scully simply cannot help but question Mulder’s crazy theories. Yes, I admit it, Mulder is right about a case probably 99 per cent of the time. But how boring would “The X-Files” be without the classic Mulder-and-Scully banter? I simply love how they are intellectually always on the same level. That wouldn’t be possible if neither Mulder nor Scully weren’t stubborn. Let’s just call it “determined” instead. And let’s be frank: Pretty much most of us would take Scully’s point of view in real life and be skeptical. I wonder if this would have been any different if Scully had been a man. People just love to attribute too many supposedly bitchy characteristics to women.

Django Unchained cat

Wait, what? I love that movie so, so much. There was a cat? Really? Now that’s a mystery that needs to be solved. Dear reader who come to me this way, please step forward. I want to know what you could find out. The dvd hasn’t been released here yet, so I’m not able to check for cat content just yet.

Is there snow on the ground in Berlin?

Just a sec, let me check. Nope, all nice and mild outside. Lots of green. How about maybe just taking a look outside the window or checking the weather forecast online in case you’re not in Berlin? Might be easier than googling. Just a friendly advice.

Cats love to sleep

Oh, yes, they do! This is actually the search engine term that has been used the most to get to my blog. That makes this crazy cat lady here incredibly proud. I remember, I had a post just dedicated to this topic. Don’t you just love how they manage to always doze off without feeling guilty at all? While looking incredibly adorable during their sleep. There’s certainly a lot we can learn from them when it comes to genuine relaxation. And since this is the winner among the search terms, let’s give it up for a sleepy cat, the one and only Bosco!

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You usually never leave our home, except when we take you out in our car to the vet’s. You don’t even go out to the stairwells of the building.

I don’t know how long you were gone for…but it could not have been less than a life threatening experience for you.

We looked for you everywhere in the house, and thought you were hiding within some corner like you always do. But when we finally could not find you after a long long search, I decided to look outside. Honestly, I would have never imagined that you would even step out of the door because you never do!

However, to my surprise, I found you in the staircase, 2 stories above our floor, all the way up at the top of the window grid, silent and covered in dirt. I climbed up the grids in my PJs and got you down on my shoulder, but you were still very quiet…and then finally you let out an almost inaudible purr. Really, you must have been so frightened. I am so sorry you had to go through such a terrible experience.

Then I brought you home…so relieved to have found you. I usually don’t give you milk, but today, I warmed up a tiny little cup of milk in the exact same container I used to give you milk in, when I first brought you home 4 years ago. And then I cleaned the dust off your paws, again, just like I did back when you were only a month old.

I won’t let the same happen to you again, Dobby, I promise. Right now, I’m just so glad you’re safe. Sleep well, Dobbs.

Much love, from your sister / mummy / playmate / something warm to cuddle up against when you’re cold or you just feel like it,

Asuma

xxx

I hate when this happens.  It makes my days really really long. 

My solution?  Caffeine.  A lot of caffeine.  

Starting with my first cup in front of the fireplace

with BOTH my cats this time

Since my sister is home, we decided to go out with my brother for lunch (we picked him up at school.  Good old “doctors” notes )

First stop: Starbucks

Okay I have a confession.  

I’ve never ever actually tried a legit frappuccino before.  

Crazy!  I know

Well that changed today

Hello cinnamon dolce frappuccino

Seriously soooo good

Apparently there’s a hidden menu though, and one of those flavors you can make is cake batter… and cinnamon roll.

I need to try both. 

Next stop was another first for me

Chipotle.  

I have to admit my expectations weren’t very high.  Regardless, they were beyond surpassed, and I was very happy with the quality. 

I later went for a walk to Orchard Fresh to search for blog worthy products

I did find one

Strawberry Papaya!  Two of my favorite fruits into one.

Yes, of course I bought it. 

Look what I also saw

This thing freaked me out, but I have to admit… I thought it was pretty cool  

I still have a few hours until I have to work, so I’m just going to take it easy here.  My passionfruit is finally ripe, so I’m planning on making a smoothie with it later!

Question: What’s the best frappuccino you’ve ever had?

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