Some people keep a loved one’s cremated remains in their personal possession; others scatter them in their own yard, at sea or some other place. Wherever the remains go initially, the decision NOT to commit them to a permanent burial location can have many unintended and far-reaching effects over the years and for generations to come. Before you make an irreversible decision, please consider the impact this decision may have on your life and the lives of others – some of whom have not yet been born.

When the decision is made to not provide a permanent burial site for a loved one, the consequences can be far reaching. Oftentimes a single family member takes possession of the cremains and others can be excluded. If the decision is made to scatter the cremains, many family members and friends may never know where the scattering took place. Finally, future generations may inquire about the deceased, and no one will remember where the remains are.

Our loved ones deserve the dignity and respect of a permanent burial site. A permanent burial site offers a family many benefits. All friends and family members have a special place to visit and remember and to place flowers on special occasions. Visitation may take place at a cemetery, a location that will exist for eternity. Family and friends may freely visit a cemetery at a time convenient for them. Finally, a permanent burial site in a cemetery ensures a permanent record of a loved one’s life through grave markers, monuments, and the record keeping of the cemetery.

At Catholic Cemeteries we believe every life should be remembered. In addition to traditional gravesites, our cemeteries have above-ground burial sites and special burial areas such as columbariums. A permanent burial site can be easily affordable and provides so much forever.

How often do we really think about the words “see you”?  We use them together with tomorrow, later, tonight, in the morning, on Monday, etc., and we innocently believe that the words will simply come true.  Why should we even consider that in the moment those words are said that we may never have the opportunity of saying them to that person again?  As human beings we simply do not allow our minds to reflect on the reality that life is finite.  Our minds simply assume that tomorrow, we will see each other again.  Yes, we talk about how short life is and we recognize that our journey could end at any moment but do we truly feel that reality.

The hand of fate arrives without notice, detached and dispassionate and in the blink of an eye it changes our lives forever.  Whether it is us who have transitioned to the life we hope for or someone we love, what we knew before is no more and we are forced to adjust to this new and strange existence.  If we are the ones left behind, we mourn, we pray, we hope and we remember and just for a while we hold each other a bit closer.  For some, the routine of our daily lives returns, but for those closest to the change, they face the reality that the last words spoken were “see you ______”.

The words that now enter our minds are “I wish I had_______” and they are coupled with stopped them, told them I loved them, not had that fight but the nightmare will not go away.  The words we find next are usually filled with anger and directed at God and they always include “why”.   Why did God let this happen?  How could God allow such a tragedy to occur?  There are no words that can be said that will take away the pain, that can undo the feeling of anguish, or that can sooth the feelings that come from the reasons the words “I wish” have been uttered.  Those of us standing beyond the tragedy can only imagine the feeling of loss; we can only try to understand the emptiness that overwhelms the family forced to accept the death of someone they love so much.  “See you” now becomes a constant reminder of the next time that will never come.

“See you” may be those words that were spoken without consideration of their impact in life and while they may be painful because they were some of our last words, they are also words of hope.  We believe in the promise made by Christ that if we believe, we will be with Him in paradise.   Consider that the words will ring true someday and as tears are shed because we miss the ones we love and long for the sound of their voice and comfort of their presence, we must know that when we spoke the words “see you” we didn’t imagine that we would have to wait until we sat together at the table of the Lord in all His glory.  We will never know God’s plan but we do know that we will all see each other again.

Andrej Lah, Director of Catholic Cemeteries Association

alah@clevelandcatholiccemeteries.org

For more information about the Catholic Cemeteries Association, Diocese of Cleveland visit www.clevelandcatholiccemeteries.org.

While Catholic cemeteries are intended for the burial of Catholics, the importance of family is recognized. Family members who may not be Catholic (spouses, children, parents, etc.) can be buried in Catholic cemeteries in order to maintain family unity even in death.

Reconciliation is the hope of the Church even in death. A former Catholic may be buried in a Catholic cemetery as long as there is no public scandal or controversy involved. An inactive or non-practicing Catholic may be buried in a Catholic cemetery with the same caution.

The reality is secular cemeteries may permit individual religious services at the time of burial.

However, a unique feature of Catholic cemeteries is that, in addition to the graveside service at burial, Mass is offered regularly for those buried in our Catholic cemeteries. Mass is also celebrated at most Catholic cemeteries on Memorial Day, Cemetery Sunday (the first Sunday in November) in conjunction with the Feasts of All Saints and All Souls, and for other special occasions throughout the year. The Bishops and some of the priests closely associated with the Catholic Cemeteries Association are the celebrants of these special Masses.

In addition to the Masses offered regularly at our cemeteries, the Rosary is prayed several times each month at our cemeteries. This beautiful and traditional prayer is truly an uplifting experience that offers peace and healing to those who are grieving. Finally, our cemeteries offer monthly prayer services where prayer and reflection continue the healing process.

For more information visit www.clevelandcatholiccemeteries.org.

In a unique way, the Catholic Church sets aside in perpetuity and solemnly blesses or “consecrates” the land of Catholic cemeteries and mausoleums.

A Catholic cemetery is considered an extension of the parish church, and like a parish church, is solemnly blessed or “consecrated” by the Bishop. A Catholic cemetery is to be a prayerful place, a permanent memorial for those who have died and a reliquary of saints.

Many of us will never know what it is like to say goodbye to loved one, praying that they will return after many months away from home.  Many of us cannot truly appreciate the heart-wrenching feeling when a news report comes across the wire announcing that a soldier paid the ultimate price for another person’s freedom.  Many of us can only imagine what it is like to receive word that the loved one we sent to a foreign land was killed fighting for us all.  Unless we suffer their loss we will never be burdened with the question of why them?  Memorial Day is a day of picnics and fun and we must remember that we are able to enjoy that day because a hero gave his life for us.

Our American soldier is the rarest of soldiers for he or she is an individual who fights simply for the cause of freedom.  Victory is not about conquest over another, rather conquest over tyranny.  Our American soldier willingly sheds his or her blood so others may enjoy the precious rights we often take for granted.  Their lives are freely given so that we are free to worship and speak without fear and that others may be released from oppression.  Our American soldiers honor us because they are the best of us.  Our fallen heroes ask only that we remember them.

When you happen upon the grave of a fallen hero, take a moment to say a prayer of thanks for the sacrifice made by the one whose dreams were left on some battlefield far from home.  Remember that we are able to enjoy the rights given to us by God because an American soldier stood steadfast between tyranny and freedom.

Over the next several weeks we will dispel some of the myths concerning Catholic cemeteries, and point out the many advantages in choosing Catholic cemeteries over commercial cemeteries.

The Catholic cemetery seeks to help people face the hard reality of death in a context of faith in the promise of eternal life. Our facilities and services include a place to be buried, an environment designed to meet the needs of the Catholic liturgy for burial, a facility which encourages frequent visitation with attendant prayer for the dead, an environment in which love is remembered, hope is rekindled and faith is awakened and strengthened.

We minister to the living by helping them anticipate needs when they face the reality of death. We look upon the arrangements of burial space as a moment for growth in our faith. When individuals and families acknowledge the issues surrounding mortality and begin to make burial plans, it is a graced moment in which our faith can and must be integrated if we are to be true to the service we render. We see our pre-need programs as moments of catechesis and evangelization.

In our contact with families in pre-, at-, and post-need situations, we minister on behalf of the larger Church and especially on behalf of the parish community, to people who vary widely in the degree of their involvement in Church life. Our work must be marked by welcoming, caring, and healing.

We are truly a portrait of the Church in greater Cleveland. Our cemeteries provide a sacred space, a place of calm and prayer where the memory of a loved one can be cherished.

The memorial on a grave becomes the final record of a life lived and it becomes the place where descendants will gather to reconnect with an ancestor long since passed. It is incredible to witness the reconnection that occurs when a descendant happens upon an ancestor’s place of rest and touches the name and remembers what was told about a life intertwined with the one standing in remembrance. I have often joined family members seeking to reconnect and have been honored to experience the emotions that such reconnection brings.

As I experience the changes in our society regarding burial traditions, I wonder where the next generation will go to reconnect. When a loved one’s ashes are scattered to the wind, where do you go to place a flower, to remember? What is the motivation of those who glamourize the scattering of a person’s remains? Why do they seek the obliteration of Catholic teachings with regard to the proper disposition of all human remains? As cremation was once used to undermine the teachings of the Church regarding the resurrection of the body, is scattering now a reconstituted effort to accomplish that goal? Is it an attempt to undermine Christian beliefs and teachings? Why do certain members of our society seek to bring about the end of the burial traditions that have for millennia been a part of Christian life? When you experience a Catholic funeral and understand its’ significance how could anyone be convinced that the Right of Christian Burial is unnecessary or irrelevant? The sacredness and beauty of the ritual and the honor that it bestows on the deceased should never be cast aside as an inconvenience!

Some have made a concerted effort to convince us that placing our loved ones in a cemetery is a waste of land and a waste of money. I wonder if the woman I recently met washing her husband’s memorial would agree, or the elderly couple placing flowers on a child’s grave with an inscription expressing a love that is decades old. How often do we consider that we may need that place where a flower can be laid, where our connection to the physical is unbroken? We measure everything based on some valuation and never consider that our relationship with the deceased and the celebration of their life cannot be quantified. Once again we find our faith challenged and our beliefs being undermined by changes in our society.

When the need arises, where do we go to renew our relationship? Where do we go to connect to the physical and reflect on our memories of the deceased? Where do we go if we just want some time to reflect?

~Andrej Lah, President

Catholic Cemeteries Association

Catholic cemeteries are an extension of the parish community where those who worshipped together in life now rest together in peace.

Catholic cemeteries are dedicated to the Corporal Work of Mercy “To bury the dead” and the Spiritual Works of Mercy “To comfort the sorrowful” and “To pray for the living and the dead.”

It numbs my mind and can only describe the attitude and action of the Catholic Church, in not according the late Quezon Gov. Rafael Nantes, a Freemason, Catholic burial, as the highest order of bigotry.

Gov. Nantes was not only a Freemason, but was also said to be a ‘born-again’ Christian.

My question is: What could be more Catholic and a Christian than one that is born-again and a Freemason at that?

Why persecute Freemasons until now when Freemasonry is an establishment founded on the benevolent intention of extending and conferring mutual happiness upon the best and truest principles of moral life and social virtue?

How could it go counter with the teachings of the Church when this fraternal organization advocates and promotes friendship, morality, and harmony among human associations?

How could it not be religious when this ancient institution was founded on the basic principles of the Brotherhood of Man and the acknowledgment of a Supreme Being?

The typical Freemason is a responsible member of his community, busily engaged with his domestic, social, vocational, and civic obligations. In a nutshell, this was Gov. Nantes.

But, why deny the late governor a Catholic burial “unless some signs of repentance before death had been shown” by the deceased,” a bishop exhorted?

How many people have already died, including, perhaps, those who perished with Nantes, that were not able to confess their sins, much less asked forgiveness from a priest, before an abrupt and unforeseen tragedy ended their lives, yet have received Catholic burial?

Why, singularly, invoke the Canon Law against the late Gov. Nantes? Is being a Freemason a sin?

Admittedly, masonry is not a religion, but it is a brotherhood of man that welcomes all religion and practices religiosity.

For those who wonder what, we, Freemasons, believe in, it is this:

That there is one God, the Father of all men.

The Holy Bible is the Great Light in Masonry

And the Rule and Guide for faith and practice.

Man is immortal.

Character determines destiny.

Love of man is, next to love of God, man’s first duty.

Prayer, communion of man with God, is helpful.

I am sure I will be meeting the same dogmatism  when my time comes, but I’d rather be buried amongst excommunicated, but upright Masons than being amidst holier-than-thou priests and bishops found guilty of child molestation, yet still being covered up by the Church.

Adios, bro.

When a death occurs, the church parish may be contacted before a funeral home is called. Some Catholics will opt out of conventional funeral home services in favor of Roman Catholic services.

There are three main parts of a Catholic Funeral. To learn about them visit Catholic Funerals on Funeral Home Resource.