What else does a family of 5 do on the last weekend before Christmas???  We go to the mall.  But not just one mall, we go to several. 

When you’ve been cooped up in the house as much as Urbanmummy has, something has to give and what gave was our peaceful weekend at home with the family.  We needed to get out!  Even if it meant heading into crowds of holiday shoppers lollygagging their way through the mall.  We needed to return stuff.  We bought a stroller for the car seat so we wouldn’t have to carry Berry around all day, we hit up Toys R Us, a big mall and a bunch of other little stores.  We got errands done.

Woo hoo.

With Berry being 3 weeks old and the boys finally sleeping in their bunk beds (or not sleeping for that matter) we figured what better than to drive around a lot and give them all plenty of time to sleep in the car while we spent money.   I could tell it was going to be a productive day when I saw Urbannummy’s eyes.  She was out of the house and dammit she was going to get stuff done.  I did not realize how much of a chore it was getting three sleepy kids out of the car and into a store… Whew.

On Sunday Linus had a birthday party at the movie theatre.  Great idea in theory, but tough to coordinate since he’s only seem one movie before, with us, and we were told that the Princess and the Frog was a touch scary for 4 year olds.  One of us could have joined him, for $11.00 but it didn’t make sense since there was Berry and Stewie still to be dealt with.  So off Linus went.  He said it was scary but he had fun… Fun being chocolate, juice, popcorn and “TV”. 

On Sunday morning the boys went to Karate and excelled.  They were focussed and awesome.  Made me proud.  At karate I sat with the President and CEO of the incredible indie music site; www.supernova.com.   It was there I learned that Chad Kroeger, the lead singer of the bank Nickleback produced Theory of a Deadman’s recent effort, which I thought was AWESOME!  He also talked about another band in the Kroeger stable called Default.  I’ll have to check them out. 

As a HUGE music fan, I’m going to try to arrange for a monthly supernova.com music discussion to introduce some outstanding up and coming bands for everyone to watch out for.     

So the only downfall of this fun, busy weekend is that Berry slept too much on Sunday and thus did not sleep Sunday night so Urbanmummy was exhausted and she (thankfully) let me sleep so I could work the entire day. 

Last I checked the boys, they were sneaking into our bedroom just before 6:30am to come hit Bozo.

Remember Bozo???

We bought Bozo in effort to stop the kids from hitting each other and everyone else.  We’ve had a few incidents of children who cannot keep their hands to themselves and thus have hit, smacked or slapped each other, us, their nanny and strangers in the karate dojo.   They have told their teachers about being hit… They get frustrated, they smack each other… But not any more.  Now they know that if they get “angry” they should wait, get up and walk over to Bozo and punch him until they feel better.  Then they can go back and play. 

I’ll keep everyone informed as to whether this works and if so, how long it took them to either lose interest in Bozo or punch a hole in him.

Possible side effects of Mad Adam include: sneaky bowel; a sensitivity to light; the inability to fecund; heart failure; the development of a third and fourth personality; restless ass syndrome (including explosive diarrhea); an allergic reaction to lilacs; the plague; volatile audacity; and a resistance to common sense. If you experience an erection lasting longer than 48 hours, administer high-fives to anyone nearby, unless you’re a woman, in which case you should probably call a doctor. Mad Adam is a registered trademark of You Made Me Piss Myself Productions, a subsidiary of S.U.C.K.I.T. Inc.

A LYRICAL ODE TO OUR COLLECTIVE STUPIDITY

Well, the decade of the “aughts” or the “2000’s” or the “deccies” or whatever you choose to call these past ten years is rapidly coming to a close (I am going with aughts in case you were wondering).  You know what that means, right?  Lists!!!  That’s right, list after list after list, cataloguing the best and worst of the decade.

Let me be clear.  I HATE THESE LISTS.  They are nothing more than insipid attempts to cram 10 years of movies, books and other pop culture into one “authoritative” list that usually panders to the popular while ignoring the deserving.   But sadly, I still read them just like the rest of you rubes.

One such list that recently caught my attention was Billboard magazine’s list of the top album, song and group of the decade.  All hope I had left in humanity departed me when I saw that ‘N Sync’s “No Strings Attached” was the decade’s best selling album with 10 millions copies of their cacophony being purchased.  Then my horror only escalated when I saw that Mariah Carey scored the most popular song of the aughts with her sappy ballad, “We Belong Together.”  But, the trifecta of stupidity was completed when I gazed in disbelief at the top group churned out in the past ten years, that’s right, Nickelback .

Dudes and Dudettes….it appears that we get what we deserve.  If America truly embraces the collective works of Justin Timberlake, JC Chasez, Lance Bass, Joey Fatone, Chris Kirkpatrick, Mariah Carey, Chad Kroeger, Mike Kroeger, Ryan Peaks and Daniel Adair, then I believe this to be the last sign of the coming apocalypse.

I could go on ad nauseam about the reasons why ‘N Sync, Mariah Carey and Nickelback have contributed nothing to society other than a NASA certified cosmonaut who lacks enough money to actually make it into space (Bass ), the unnecessary use of the whistle register (Carey) and an unending catalogue of songs about getting drunk, fighting and having sex (Nickelback).  But, rather than hate on these “artists,” I will instead embrace their mediocrity and let their words guide this week’s edition of Mad Adam’s shit list.  So, without further ado, away we go….

“Bye, Bye, Bye….“

N’ Sync’s most popular song is dedicated to my fantasy football season.  Another year of regular season success followed by playoff misery.  In this year’s edition of “why the fuck do I keep doing this to myself?” my team scored the most points of all teams in the league during the regular season. Then, magically the playoffs begin and the fantasy football gods conspired to fuck me again.

Hines Ward pulls a hammy.

Percy Harvin’s migraines won’t go away.

And, the rest of my team decides to take a collective dump for the week. Awesome.

In what has become an annual tradition, I hereby retire from fantasy football…..GOD DAMMIT, FUCKING HEY!  I HATE FANTASY FOOTBALL SO FUCKIGN MUCH.  FUCK MY TEAM.  BUNCH OF ASSHOLE, FUCKSTICK, OVERPAID PILL-POPPING DICKHEAD MOTHER-FUCKERS.  Crap.

“You know the party’s here, sing a-long and have no fear, ‘N SYNC is here to make you people scream“

This shout out goes to Roy Williams.  Not the pass-dropping cry baby wide receiver in Dallas.  No, I am talking about the emotions-on-his-sleeve guy wearing Carolina blue while patrolling the sidelines at the Dean Dome.  You see, while ‘N Sync’s lyrics to “Here we Go” actively exhorted the crowd to get involved with no fear of retribution, the same cannot be said of good ‘ole Roy.

On Saturday, December 12^th the defending national champs squared off against the mighty Presbyterian College Blue Hose.  Seriously.  I am not making this up.  Their mascot is the “Blue Hose.”

During the second half of a real nail-biter (Carolina won the game by the count of 103-64), a fan clad in a Presbyterian Blue Hose shirt (they really sell merchandise…seriously?) had the unmitigated gall to use the seat he had purchased as a platform for tomfoolery, shenanigans and outright silliness. What did he do you ask?

Prepare yourself sports fan.  For what you are about to read might dent even the most impervious skin of my readers.  The Blue Hose fan stood up while Tar Heel Deon Thompson was shooting a foul shot and shouted (ear-muffs young ones) ……..”Deon, you’re gonna miss it!”

This outrageous display of poor sportsmanship so rankled Roy Williams, that he was able to pry himself away from coaching this close game long enough to point out the “offending” fan to security, who then bowed to Lord Williams’ wishes and escorted the Blue Hoser out of the hallowed halls of the Dean Dome.  Don’t believe me?  Check out the video proof here.

When asked about it after the game Williams responded, “I don’t think anybody should yell anything negative at our players. Period. Let’s don’t make it a bigger thing than it is. But I just don’t think anybody should yell negative things toward our players (when) you come in on our tickets to watch our game.”

I don’t care one way or the other about Tar Heel basketball.  But let me assure you of one thing.  Should I ever find myself on Tobacco Road when Roy Williams’ team is playing, I will don the opposing team’s colors, buy a scalped ticket and enter the Dean Dome and unleash such a tirade of foul-mouthed anti-Tar Heel epithets, slogans and other words of fury that Roy will have to call out the National Guard to stop me. What an egotistical prick.

“Hang out in the coolest bars, in the VIP with the movie stars, every good gold digger’s gonna wind up there.“

Nickelback’s homage to the “Rockstar” lifestyle sounds like a soundtrack to the litany of “ladies” coming out of the woodwork each day claiming to have been another of Tiger’s conquests.  Look, enough has been said about Tiger, so let’s leave him be……Oh, who am I kidding?

Have you seen some of these skanks?  I mean we are talking about TIGER FREAKING WOODS for goodness sakes.  Can’t he do better?  Some of Tiger’s alleged mistresses are traditional hotties, but check out this bow-wow line-up of some of the others:

“I can’t wait to hate you, make you pain like I do, still can’t shake you off.“

Who knew Mariah could be so angry (and grammar challenged)?  Her song “Hate You” was probably playing on the iPods of the Cincinnati Bearcats fans who recently egged departing coach Brian Kelly’s house.  Seriously?  Egging his house?  C’mon Cincy, you are better than that.  At least go old school TP instead of eggs.  Amateurs.

News flash to Bearcats fans everywhere.  Despite its numerous problems, Notre Dame is an INFINITELY better job than coaching the Bearcats.  And, a special note to those who egged Coach Kelly’s home.  You might just be sending the wrong message to a potential up and coming coach thinking about coming to your town to coach your team.  Maybe a little hospitality on the way out might induce others to think more kindly about coming in.  Just a thought you numbskulls.

“I didn’t know nothing, I was stupid, I was foolish… I was lying to myself.”

Mariah’s lyrics to “We Belong Together” do more than describe her educational background, they are the perfect segue to the December 11^th arrest of Atlanta Falcon defensive tackle Jonathan Babineaux.  Mr. Babineaux was arrested on Interstate 85 a week ago and charged with possession of 1 1/2 ounces of marijuana.  But wait, there’s more!

According to a police spokesman Babineaux was pulled over with another man in Babineaux’s 2005 Cadillac Escalade (man, not a good month for Escalades).  The vehicle had an expired tag, no tag light and the tint on the window was heavier than allowed by state law.  Oh, and the car reeked of pot smoke and three bags of weed were laying out in the open for all the world to see. Not enough for you? Babineaux also was driving without a driver’s license.

So, let me get this straight.  A highly paid NFL player (allegedly) got high and went out for a drive with his buddy with no license, an expired tag (to his credit this infraction was partially obscured by his lack of a tag light) and a bunch of exposed drugs, well, at least exposed after he rolled down his illegally tinted windows.  What a moron.

Not that he has set a high bar for himself.  Remember that in November 2007 he was cleared of a felony charge of animal cruelty after his girlfriend reported the death of their 1 1/2 year old pit bull “Kilo” (didn’t see any drug problems in his future there did we?) after she and Babineaux argued at their home.  With this kind of stupidity in the world is it any wonder how Mariah got popular?

That’s all for now sports and music fans.  Until next we meet, try and get some better taste.  Reading my articles is a start, but also work on getting rid of useless boy bands, screeching divas and drug-addled tool-bags from your musical queue.

Miley Cyrus has teamed with mega producer Timbaland on his new track, “We Belong to Music,” from his upcoming album ‘Shock Value ll’.  Timbaland paid Cyrus the highest compliment when he told Entertainment Weekly, “Man, she’s gonna be like Justin [Timberlake]. She comes from that same musical background, where she’s just got it. Her voice is just there. The best way to put it is she’s special. When I worked with her, I was very impressed. I was like, ‘Whoa.’” 

Check out the Cyrus/Timbaland collaboration and let us know what you think!

Cyrus has also teamed up with Youth Service America to create a new movement, “Get UR Good On”, to help encourage children around the world to help make a Global Change.  Check out the public service announcements below:

INTRO (by DJ Felli Fel)

CARRY OUT

Featuring Justin Timberlake, in typical Timbo fashion, the track’s got a dark vibe to it. JT sounds different on the track, almost somewhat lower/less “I’m using my falsetto-style”. I like the way he rides the beat around the hook and the tune does grow on you when the hook loops over and over nearer the end of the song.

LOSE CONTROL

Featuring JoJo

MEET IN THE MIDDLE

Featuring Bran’Nu (Brandy) – this song might grow on me as I really like Brandy as an artist and I think she meshes with the beat nicely, but this jam isn’t all that exciting…

SAY SOMETHING

Featuring Drake

TOMORROW IN A BOTTLE

Featuring Chad Kroeger & Sebastian

WE BELONG TO THE MUSIC

Featuring Miley Cyrus. I’m not a fan of Ms Cyrus and I’m not feeling her on this track, but I’m sure if this was released it would be a hit because anything she touches turns to gold.

MORNING AFTER DARK

Featuring SoShy and Nelly Furtado.

Thank you for this song.

Only joint I can say that I 100% feel right now, maybe I’m just in a really unappreciative mood, but nothing else has really tickled my fancy.

IF WE EVER MEET AGAIN

Featuring Katy Perry. This song sounds so much like something else, but I just can’t put my finger on it : /

CAN YOU FEEL IT

Featuring Sebastian & Esthero.

Ugh – YES I CAN : )

Like this beat. Esthero’s vocals are COOL>
Can you feel it – let’s go…

The breakdown at the end = best bit.

These strobe lights, girl girl

The flashing lights, girl

So welcome to my nightlife world..WORL’ORLD
(that little skit reminds me of somethin’ Will.I.Am would come up with)

EASE OFF THE LIQUOR

This is another jam. The bass is funky. TIMBO IS BACK. 3.46 onwards – love the strumming of the g.u.i.t.a.r. Hispanic vibe, YES. Now I’m hearing variation = enjoyment occurring

2 drinks is the minimum

UNDERTOW

Featuring The Fray & Esthero.

TIMOTHY WHERE YOU BEEN

This track = breath of fresh air, has a very different ‘atmosphere’ to much of the album. It’s nice to hear a guitar instead of the synthesised, electro, artificial beats that have dominated the previous songs. Jet and JoJo are nice additions to this track.

EDIT – I actually <3 this jaaaaaam.

LONG WAY DOWN

Featuring Daughtry.

MARCHING ON

Basically remixing OneRepublic’s song, like he did with “Apologize”, but I MUCH prefer the original version of “Marchin’ On” off of “Waking Up”…

THE ONE I LOVE

Featuring Keri Hilson & D.O.E.

SYMPHONY

Featuring Attitude, Bran’Nu & D.O.E.

My worry with this album is that the artists are bigger than the songs themselves. I looked at the tracklisting and saw all these big names; Brandy, Katy Perry, JT, Drake, Miley Cyrus, but I think the songs underwhelm. I found myself enticed by SHOCK VALUE, some of those beats were so SICK that they should have been illegal…whereas this time, I’m left wanting more. Having just listened to it once, everything sounds too similar. However that’s not to say I hate it all…

Standout tracks: Carry Out, Say Something, Morning After Dark, Can You Feel It, Ease Off The Liquor, Timothy Where Have You Been

]]> http://lightrailfail.wordpress.com/2009/11/27/what-the-f-of-the-irish/ Fri, 27 Nov 2009 02:05:40 +0000 lightrailfail http://lightrailfail.wordpress.com/2009/11/27/what-the-f-of-the-irish/

With today being a holiday, I thought it would be fitting to celebrate this piece of work who obviously has no idea exactly which holiday it is.

Oh heyyy, guy in red hat, I'm not giggling at YOU.

Nearly a month after Halloween and worse, more than four months before St. Patrick’s Day, Homeskillet rolls up on the Light Rail in (I’m guessing) his idea of an O.G. pimp hat that more resembles the Lucky Charms Mascot’s attire.

"Me wants to pimp yo' hos!"

Wait, no, Lucky the Leprechaun reminds me way to much of marshmallowy goodness and childhood. This guy reminded me more of this:

A little less "I'm going to give you a cavity," a little more "I'm going to watch you sleep tonight."

Add in his MC Hammer Pants and Flava Flav gold chain and I’m officially annoyed. Vanilla Ice had one hit and one hit ONLY for a reason.

On top of the ridiculous attire, this guys starts bobbing his head to his music (circa Eminem pre-rap battle in Eight Mile) and mouthing words so obnoxiously that I cannot help but watch and wonder.

I can only guess Vanilla Face is listening to:

A) Creed or

B) Nickelback

(I’m guessing Nickelback seeing as Creed has been kind enough to STFU for the last few years while Chad Kroger and his band mates who presumably live among his disgusting Canadian Jesus mullet can’t seem to stop churning out the audio vomit on a daily basis. But I digress…)

Either way, you FAIL, Slim Shady.

People of Mobile, Alabama, however, you WIN. I do believe I found your leprechaun.

Click Acorn...urgh...Leprechaun to Watch Video

Turns out it really was just a “crackhead dat got hold to da wrong stuff.”

Happy Railing (and Happy Thanksgiving,)

<3 lightrailgirl

Timbaland ist mittlerweile aus der Hip Hop- und R’n’B-Szene nicht mehr wegzudenken. Nach drei bombastischen Solo-Alben meldet er sich nach zweijähriger Pause mit dem „Timbaland presents Shock Value 2“ (Release: 27.11.) zurück. Okay, das ist erstmals nichts wirklich Neues – Timbaland macht das was er am besten kann…feinste Musik – aber dass er jetzt anscheinend auch noch zu den Twilight-Infizierten gehört, hätte man wohl nie gedacht!

Foto: sweet punk roses

Bei den American Music Awards vor ein paar Tagen hat Timbaland seine neue Single „Morning after dark“ mit Nelly Furtado und Soshy präsentiert. Gerüchten zufolge sollen die zwei Twilight-Stars Robert Pattinson und Kristen Stewart im Musikvideo zu diesem Song zu sehen sein. Mal sehen – hier könnt ihr erst mal den neuen Tunes von Timbaland lauschen:

Für das „Shock Value 2“-Album hat sich Timbaland wieder tatkräftige Unterstützung geholt – Justin Timberlake, Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus, The Fray, Chris Daughtry, Chad Kroeger (Nickelback), Brandy, Drake und Keri Hilson – sollen die Feature-Gäste der neuen LP sein. Der Multi-Platin-Produzent verrät in einem Interview: “I’m so fortunate and blessed to be able to create a Shock Value II. I’m really proud of the caliber of artists on this album and all the work they put into making it a success. I can promise that no one has ever heard Katy Perry, The Fray, or Brandy sound like this before. It’s exciting because not only am I giving fans the best of me on each track, I’m giving them a glimpse of their favorite artist in a completely different light. This is an album that can be listened to from start to finish every single time because each song is so unique and the range of artists so diverse. I can’t wait for my fans to hear the collaborations.”

© Universal Music Group

An den Nachfolger von „Shock Value” (2007) sind also große Erwartungen gebunden, die Timbaland mit Sicherheit erfüllen oder sogar übertreffen wird. Der Rapper und Produzent versteht es schließlich den Nerv der (Musik-)Zeit zu treffen!

Go here to watch video

Here is the backdrop that is used in concert during the song photograph,It features the band members and crew photo’s. enjoy

View video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nt2kM0TsubU

Never Gonna Be Alone – Nickelback

Music & Lyrics: Chad Kroeger, Nickelback and Robert John “Mutt” Lange

Time, is going by, so much faster than I
And I’m starting to regret not spending all of here with you
Now I’m wondering why I’ve kept this bottled inside
So I’m starting to regret not selling all of it to you
So if I haven’t yet, I’ve gotta let you know

You’re never gonna be alone from this moment on
If you ever feel like letting go, I won’t let you fall
You’re never gonna be alone, I’ll hold you ’til the hurt is gone

And now, as long as I can, I’m holding on with both hands
‘Cause forever I believe
That there’s nothing I could need but you
So if I haven’t yet, I’ve gotta let you know

You’re never gonna be alone from this moment on
If you ever feel like letting go, I won’t let you fall
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on
We’re gonna see the world out, I’ll hold you ’til the hurt is gone

Oh, you’ve gotta live every single day
Like it’s the only one, what if tomorrow never comes?
Don’t let it slip away, could be our only one
You know it’s only just begun, every single day
Maybe our only one, what if tomorrow never comes?
Tomorrow never comes

Time is going by so much faster than I
And I’m starting to regret not telling all of this to you

You’re never gonna be alone from this moment on
If you ever feel like letting go, I won’t let you fall
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on
We’re gonna see the world out, I’ll hold you ’til the hurt is gone

I’m gonna be there always
I won’t be missing a word all day
I’m gonna be there always
I won’t be missing a word all day

Tá aí sem saber o que fazer da vida? Corra pra uma dessas 10 praias e veja os famosos que passam por lá!

1) Copacabana – RJ - claro!

Dois famosos que já passaram por lá: Hugh Jackman (o Wolverine), e a banda The Police. 

Hugh Jackman - Foto: Quem Online

2) Ipanema -RJ

Dois famosos que já passaram por lá: Calvin Klein (sim, o estilista chiquérrimo!), e Chad Kroeger  (vocalista do Nickelback).

3) Angra dos Reis – RJ

Dois famosos que já passaram por lá: O casal Tom Cruise e Kate Holmes com a filhinha Suri.

Foto: Ag.APhotos/Felipe Assumpção

4) Búzios – RJ

Dois famosos que já passaram por lá:  Brigitte Bardot, e o ator Matthew McConaughey com a mulher, a modelo brasileira Camila Alves.

5) Jurerê Internacional – SC

Dois famosos que já passaram por lá: Snoop Dogg e Ja Rule.

6) São Sebastião – SP

Famoso avistado por lá: O guitarrista da banda Radiohead, Ed O’Brien.

7) Itacaré – BA

Dois famosos avistados por lá: O casal Carla Bruni e Nicolas Sarkozy.

Foto: Dida Sampaio/AE

8 ) Trancoso – BA

Famoso avistado por lá: Adam Clayton, baixista do U2.

9) Arraial D’Ajuda – BA

Famosos que já passaram por lá: Michael Schumacker, Richard Gere, Jimmy Cliff e Robert De Niro.

10) Maxaranguape -RN

Famosos que já passaram por lá: Casal Vitoria e David Beckham.

David Beckham - Foto: Site UOL

É, agora é só torcer pra encontrar né?

Fonte: O verso do inverso.

Country music, and part of the reason why we love it, is that it’s riddled with cliche’s. Cliches are comfortable truths about ourselves we don’t particularly mind sharing. In country music there’s a self awareness to all those old cliches. Roy Clark knew all those old Hee Haw jokes were complete stinkers and so did we. That’s half the reason why they worked. Two new songs working in the tradition are currently out right now. Both are by established country singers and both are great examples of country music song craft, the good and the bad. Here we’ll take a look at Tim McGraw’s “It’s A Business Doing Pleasure With You”, and in the next blog we’ll look at Lyle Lovett’s “Keep It In Your Pantry”.

Nashville songwriters are well rumored for keeping banker hours and work on their craft much like an accountant crunches numbers. Now, whether or not this is completely the truth matters little in the same way that cliches point toward general truths rather than singling out specific ones. Truths like for every cocktail napkin or coffee stained envelope song there’s been 100 others double spaced and spell checked. This is a job. I imagine that around 3pm on a Thursday afternoon with two more hours staring down until the clock can be punched and the last suckle of the Caramel Frappuccino has been suckled things get a little sloppy. This is when songs like “The Weather Is Here, I Wish You Were Beautiful”, or “If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me?” happen. Country music has a long standing tradition of word play (read into that what you will). It’s easy really. Take a time honored cliche and flip the words around and voila, hilarity ensues. Some jokes are always funny no matter how many times they are told. Some are kind of funny the first time you hear them and then less funny every time after that until the reason they were originally funny has become completely lost. The ol’ cliche switcheroo is a par exemple.

It’s a well known fact that puns are the lowest form of humor. Samuel Johnson said this and while I would defer to the man in most matters of the written word, here I’ll respectfully disagree and counter with the ol’ cliche switcheroo. They sit just below the knock knock joke, which sit just below any finger pulling variation out there. Roger Ebert has said that it’s not what something is about, rather how it’s about that makes something good or bad. With that in mind let’s take Tim McGraw’s “It’s A Business Doing Pleasure With You” off of his latest release Southern Voice. It’s such a stock and trade country song I almost feel like beating on it is akin to kicking a stray mutt. But, if someone has to be the bad guy in this story, it might as well be me. The song kicks off with the standard chopping block rhythm of the modern day country music anthem. It’s like a march gone bad at this point, suitable only for overbite shimmies and dirt road high school parties. When I look at lyrics without musical notation I’m sure I shouldn’t be able to sing the melody when I’ve never heard the song. You can on this one. Just talk it through.

I spent fif-teen hundred dollars on your damn- dog’s -collar
Put new spinners on your escalade

Got it? Good. Now, just who is this song written for. Clearly it is reminiscent of songs like Alan Jackson and Randy Travis’s “A Better Class of Losers”. In that song Travis sings about his disdain for his current life of parties and social mobility while fondly remembering his loser friends. It comes off as authentic and Travis’s character, who has had enough, comes across as someone who knows what he wants and leaves. There’s disdain in his voice for previous choices, but not resentment. Why should there be, no one is forcing something on him he can’t walk away from. McGraw’s character plays up the resentment side of things. Country man has girlfriend with expensive taste. He’s not outwardly happy about it, but continues to cater to her, because, well he claims because of her world class lovin, but there’s a bit of the cuckold talking here to0. There’s a certain pleasure to be had in playing the martyr, but I don’t think he is one and we too often make martyrdom synonymous with wanting to be stoned rather than not stopping it. This is a song about a conflicted man. The conflict though isn’t that he doesn’t want to be the man he is, or even about needing more money to keep living as high on the hog, but that he knows how it looks to others. Isn’t this why we swagger? So, again, who is this song written for? Economic recession or not there still seems to be a lot of Escalades out there and over priced dog collars. The cul-de-saccers, fantasy footballers, soccer mommers. Who else can relate? Tim McGraw and Faith Hill can. So, perhaps, this is in fact an authentic reflection of themselves or the shadows of themselves had they not become superstars. Why sing about a bucket when it doesn’t have a hole?

Chad Kroeger

Songwriters interest me, who they are, what else they have written. “It’s A Business Doing Pleasure With You” was written by Chad Kroeger. If you’re reading (and enjoying) this blog you may be forgiven for not knowing who that is, though I’m sure you know his band, Nickelback. At first it struck me as strange that the Canadian rocker was writing country hits for Tim McGraw. It’s a bit of a mean song and that McGraw would sing it was also surprising, but all these worlds are blurred, and that’s when I realized it’s more about that broken bucket than we acknowledge. Kroeger and McGraw have a lot more in common with each other than I do with either of them. One wrote it, the other believed it.

Now a quick digression to underline the point of blurry genres. Uber producer Mutt Lange produced Nickelback’s latest album. Lange is a genre buster with few peers and it’s worth remembering some of his achievements, if only for cocktail conversations. For starter’s he’s married to Robert Palmer. No wait, Robert Palmer died, may he rest in peace. Lange is married to Shania Twain, who sounds like Robert Palmer. Shania, with Mutt’s help, kicked the shit out of country music conventions and I’ll not say it’s bad. Lange also has produced the following in laundry list format (please keep in mind this list is but highlights, and not intended to be exhaustive. Were it exhaustive it would become clear that no one else, save Rick Rubin and Jack Frost, has produced a single song in the last 30 years):

AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell” and “Back In Black”, Bryan Adams “Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman”, The Cars “Heartbeat City”, The Corrs “In Blue” as well as a ton of stuff from Celine Dion, Backstreet Boys, Billy Ocean, Tina Turner, Britney Spears, XTC, The Boomtown Rats (who deserve a blog of their own), and Michael Bolton. Do I even need to mention Def Leppard?

Mutt Lange

{Fade Digression}

There’s a rift in the country music world between the people who like modern CMT country music and those that prefer the more traditional and what some would claim a more authentic version. To be fair I’m not always sure that the listeners of the latest country hit know that there’s a rift or would care if they did and good for them, why should they? What I think is at the root of all this isn’t really about the sound, but about quality. Country music is big business and getting it right now takes place in board rooms with people pouring over loads of listenership data. What frustrates me most is that feeling of manipulation. Gone is the emotional reaction to a song. In it’s place a discussion of target audience and potential sales. It has a devastating trickle effect though. When formula becomes more important than creativity or at best an equal component the hand of the writer begins to be seen in the lyrics. Questions arise, was this a honest song or a designed song. Once that cynical view is in there it becomes increasingly hard to block it out. I’m sure a great many modern country songs have suffered due to the cynics assumption. With that in mind read this next line from the song:

You got more purses than Versace
Got more rings than Liberace

Songwriting: How To Stoop to the Lowest Common Denominator. This is clunky stupid shit. This is the music equivilent of casting Gilbert Godfrey as an annoying guy, both are lazy and irrelevant outside of a ever shrinking circle of nostalgia. Liberace is worse though as he has even stopped being a person and has simply become a description. The song continues like a hammer banging on things Tim McGraw fans don’t like: Gucci and sushi (don’t miss the rhymes, like “on” and “Vuitton”, classic or how about “tank” and “bank”), and “walkin’ past his fellas, holdin’ drinks with pink umbrellas”. Hey, Tim, if your buddies are also on that unspellable island my guess is they’re not in too much position to make fun of you.

Now, let me be fair. This isn’t the first badly written country song. It’s simply the latest one I’ve listened to. There’s a tradition here about as long as cheatin’ songs. Maybe I’m irritated because it’s a throw away that was easy to write and will make a lot of bucks for our boys. No, I don’t really care about that, it really is about all those kids drinking beer on backroads doing an overbite shimmy to it and singing along all anthem style and calling it good. If you want a good beer drinking, dirt road standing, sing-a-long stick to “Friends In Low Places”. If you want a funny, well written song listen to Lyle Lovett’s non competing single “Keep It In The Pantry”, which will be discussed in Kountry Kliches, Part Deux. If you want this one though it won’t be all your buddies who think it’s funny that you’re spending all your money, it’ll be Tim and Chad. But, hey, maybe they are your buddies, just remember that this song is the pink umbrella in your iPod.

“Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.” —Groucho Marx

When my fake editor came to me with the chance to conduct a fake interview with Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger – noted pants-around-your-feet enthusiast and unapologetic photo-op horn-thrower – I jumped at it like a chicken on a dough dish. It was all set. We were to meet at a location within two square kilometers of my then-current position as determined by his record company in concert with a GPS and a microchip tracking device which had been implanted at the base of my neck 48 hours hence. I would receive a call on my fake cellphone telling me where to go.

It rings.

I pick up.

Mr. Williams? says the digitally obscured voice on the other end.

‘Yes, speaking.’

Please proceed directly to the American Eagle at the Pleasantview Mall. Mr. Kroeger will be browsing the sale rack. In the men’s section.

So off I tear, practicing my ‘proper dude’ behaviour on the way. Remember: ‘chicks’ not ‘women’, ‘fag’ not ‘individual whose sexual preference, perceived or actual, threatens my prevailing sense of self.’ What was I so worried about? How hard could it be to get along with, arguably, one of the coolest dudes on the face of the earth? Shit man, just keep it light, I told myself. Talk about how much you love the Light variants of Bud and Coors or how hard you laugh at the doggedly lazy, overextended-to-the-point-of-exhaustion, PCRH (pop culture referencing humour) of Seth MacFarlane. If neither of those work, just ramble on for an uncomfortably long period of time about how much you appreciate a borderline underage ‘chick’ who shows a lot of cleavage.

‘Big, bouncing jailbait boobies are awesome. The way they look under the stress lines of a tight t-shirt. The way they swing to and fro, the way those pesky little nipples protrude at the most inappropriate of times.’

It was all Chad Kroeger could talk about the first five minutes of our acquaintance and he was downright poetic.

‘Dude,’ he said, flipping from one pair of clearance-priced pre-stressed jeans to the next, ‘you know why I wanted to meet here? Shit man, take a look around — but be subtle. Sure, sure. Take it all in. There you go — yeah, you know what I’m talking about: tits and ass, son. T and A. And I know they’re not playing it up because they haven’t even noticed me yet. Right now they’re probably just thinking I’m just some trailer trash wannabe Chad Kroeger, and you know what? That’s just what I want. This way, I can check them out when their shirts sag open when they’re busy picking up the clothes I knock down — like this.’

He drops a pair of jeans, quickly scans for detection, then moves to the full-priced jeans wall with the agility of a cat, motioning me along behind him with a spastic hand of nicotine-stained fingers.

‘Honestly dude, I’d take this sort of tail over your average stripper any day of the week and twice on Wednesday — know what I mean?’

He laughs the hyperactive trill of an over-sugared eight-year-old, feigning interest in the premium pre-holed denims hanging prostate in front of his leering lips, licking fiendishly and snorting through his nose like a butane addict.

He’s crazy, this Chad Kroeger — crazy for the poon-tang.

‘Shit man,’ he says, ‘I’m just crazy for the poon-tang. Ya know?’

I do, and nod agreement in my best ‘dude’ nod of assent.

‘Fuckin’ A, son! Fuckin’ A. That’s what it’s all about. You know that line ‘I love your pants around your feet’? Man, that shit is autobiographical! You know, about me. I really do love chicks’ pants around their feet. That wasn’t just a line, eh. You know why? Cause when they’re around their feet, they’re not between me and the poon-tang. Am I right or am I right? Fuckin’ A, son!’

He drops another pair of jeans then slides to his right, doing a spin move that would make one think ‘Karl Malone who?’ to bring himself in line with the non-pants clearance rack. This guy has got serious moves on the low post of passive sexual harassment and he’s his own John Stockton. He thrusts his pelvis against the garish pastel uniformity of the knit garments, knocking several to the floor, leans back and shakes his mane with the proficiency of a fifth-year MacDonald’s fry cook before straightening up to let out a beastly bellow.

“Aiiiiooow!”

He might have just blown his cover, but he keeps at it, stutter-stepping towards the out-of-season clearance rack.

‘You’ve got to switch between the new shit and the sale stuff, man. Gets them moving through the aisles, plus it seems more, as the French say - naturale, to spread it around randomly. I’ve got it down to a science.’

The sales associates are starting to whisper among themselves, giggling and pointing in our direction.

I’m a bit star-struck — unexpectedly so, as I’ve let Kroeger control the interview to this point. Hell, I haven’t even asked a question, so this technically isn’t even an interview. So far, I’m just an accomplice to a voyeuristic pervert with a fetish for teenage flesh. We may need a change of venue, so I strike:

‘Uh, Mr. Kroeger, I think they may be on to us.’

He looks up, alarmed.

‘Shit dude, we gotta run. It may be all fun and games now, but this shit can get ugly. Let’s go! And call me Chad.’

He grabs me by the arm and we make haste towards the door, leaving a trail of downed merchandise and slack-jawed idiots in our wake. Chad’s mood seems to have taken a turn for the worse, though, as he puts the hood up on his garish Ed Hardy hoodie and burrows deep into the pockets of his stylist-approved leather jacket, hunching his shoulders and clearing his throat repeatedly.

“Fuck man, I need a huff.”

“You mean a puff?”

“Nah dude, huff. Gas or, as the French say, l’essence. It’s the essence alright — the essence of my fucking life force, son! Come on, this way. And fucking hurry.”

We turn down a corridor leading into the administrative bowels of the mall, passing beneath a sign emblazoned with bathroom symbols and past a security guard, to whom Chad gives a knowing wink. Stopping in front of the family washroom, Chad takes a furtive glance up the hall to make sure the coast is clear, then in we slip. He locks the door, regains his bearings, opens his jacket, pulls down the table normally used for the changing of diapers and produces a swollen, red hot water bottle from beneath his arm pit. Ingenious, this Chad Kroeger.

“Grab that garbage can.”

I do.

“Put it on the table.”

I do.

Marry me.

I would.

At this point he’s in full control, this Chad Kroeger, but I need an interview. My non-paying, imaginary job depends on it, but he’s busy pouring the contents of his hot water bottle into the waste basket. Gas fumes fill the room. His grin is back.

‘Aw yeah, that’s what it’s all about right there. Unleaded. Premium. Shit yeah! And you know, old school huffers are always going on about the good old days, leaded gas and all that horseshit, but you know what? Don’t believe it. I’ve tried both and there’s no difference at all. Both get you fucked the fuck up, son!’

He licks his lips, shakes his head then runs a quick lap around the room, almost knocking me over. Then he leans over the waste basket, pulling the edges of his hood down to form a crude seal and breathes deep, his back and shoulders heaving with exertion, pleasure, or both. After five or six pulls, he lifts his head and stumbles backward, slamming into the cinder block wall in a splash of leather and testosterone against institutional white. His eyes are glazed, the grin of the easily amused and freshly lobotomized splashed across his face.

‘Doooood… awwwwyah. Dooood…’

He slumps to the floor and starts giggling, gradually working his way into hysterics. Now is the time! I strike:

‘So Chad, where do you find inspiration for your words?’

‘…Dooood… Aye-ah find id in, uh, plaisches. Like uh… like uh.. in a gaz stayshun. Ride-uh?’

‘Right. Gas station. Got it. And how do you feel about critics who say you’re a misogynist?’

‘Mizzz… odge… in itso… that, uh, riiiice, uh?’

His gas-addled brain does not know the difference between a hater of women and an Italian rice dish. They’re not even remotely similar, really.

‘No, that’s risotto. A misogynist hates women. Do you hate women, Chad?’

‘No, uh, way…. man! I fuggin loves them. Or… I loves to fugg them, I mean. Fuggin A, sun!’

He laughs hysterically at this, triggering a coughing fit, gasping for breath, flailing his legs around like a demented puppet and slapping the industrial tile floor like your drunk uncle telling an off-colour joke at the family reunion. Chad struggles to his feet, straightens his jacket up and brushes off his jeans, regaining some semblance of normality before again leaning against the changing table, hovering over the waste basket, staring intently into its depths like a sex tourist through a coin-operated sex telescope.

‘I mean, really though. I love chicks. Ya know? And it burns my ass when these fucking assholes talk shit like that about me. Listen, I love chicks. I’ve gone out of my way to learn the names of almost every one I’ve banged over the past three weeks. This is the new Chad, son! I don’t write those ballads to get laid. Do you think I’d need to? Come on! I write them because that’s how I feel about stuff. You know? Like how I feel about, like, kids and family shit like that. Shit that matters.’

With this he leans into the waste basket again and draws heavily, sucking those fumes deep into the black, tar flecked recesses of his lungs. Then, a knock at the door. Chad looks up, fighting the blissful urge of crumbling oblivion, legs shaking, hands clawing at the changing table.

‘Dude’ he whispers, “what the fuck?”

‘I don’t know man, I don’t know who -

‘SECURITY! OPEN UP!’

‘Aw shit dude! Or as the French say, merde!‘

Chad’s eyes are wild, he stumbles back from the table, produces a lighter from his jacket and… whoosh. Everything goes black.

I wake up in a field with second degree burns and the taste of gasoline in my mouth, feeling as though I’ve been violated somehow. But it was all worth it. Aw yeah, dude. It was alll worth it!

Click here to listen to some live concerts from 2000

Nickelback Flashback – Live audio from 2000

Chad Kroeger from Nickelback Totally Looks Like Nicolas Cage from Con-Air

» Think you can do better? Make your own!

Pictures by: dunno source Look-alike by: callers via Totally Looks Like Builder

When Chad Kroeger was voted the ‘ugliest man in rock’ little did he know this would likely be the nicest thing anyone would ever say to him. Nickelback are rightly despised by music critics everywhere but their success just goes to show that nobody cares about critics, especially people who like Nickelback and don’t have much need for varied opinion on music anyway.

Photograph is a prime example of Nickelback’s awfulness. Music too bland for elevators side by side with lyrics that are written as if they were the result of a bout of word association: Say the first rhyme that comes in to your head! Kissed? Missed! Yeah, go with that!

The questions posed by the song won’t leave you thinking for long. How did our eyes get so red? Light reflecting.  What the hell is on Joey’s head? I don’t know, a hat? These are just things that people say! Not lyrics. If you want to hear stuff like this just find the nearest person and start talking.

It says a lot that for a song about reflecting on the past that Nickelback can’t think of anything beyond the surface of mindless chatter, but you should expect no less from this band. Their musings make Paris Hilton look erudite.

Worst of all, they will happily allow their songs to be used in DFS adverts. What an insult to rock ‘n’ roll! OK maybe the music is worse. What an insult to people with ears!

Also called Photograph.

Jackson concert surpasses initial estimates
Nov 02, 2009 – Worldwide ticket sales for Michael Jackson’s concert movie exceeded initial forecasts when final data were issued on Monday, rising to $103.9 million, distributor Columbia Pictures said.
The Sony Corp 6758.T< <SNE.N unit had said the day before that “This Is It” earned a preliminary $101 million since opening worldwide on Wednesday.

Michael Jackson movie ‘This Is It’ tops charts with $101M revenue in five days
Nov 02, 2009 – “Michael Jackson’s This Is It” pulled in $101 million worldwide in its first five days, and distributor Sony is extending the farewell performance film beyond its planned two-week run. The film was the No. 1 Halloween thriller domestically with a $21.3 million opening weekend, according to studio estimates Sunday. The previous weekend’s No. 1 movie, Paramount’s low-budget horror sensation “Paranormal Activity,” slipped to No. 2 with $16.5 million, lifting its total to $84.8 million. “This Is It” captures Jackson in behind-the-scenes performances in the weeks before his death last June, as he rehearsed his biggest hits for the London shows.

Could ‘Michael Jackson’s This Is It’ win an Oscar?
NOv 02, 2009 – “Michael Jackson’s This Is It” comes too late in the year to be considered for a documentary Oscar, but the film about the late King of Pop’s preparations for a series of comeback concerts could qualify for other Hollywood honors, including the Academy Award for best picture. The film, which opened around the globe last week already has earned rousing praise from fans and critics, who say it restores Jackson’s reputation as a world-class entertainer.

Jackson’s ‘This Is It’ Is Top Weekend Movie With $21.3 Million
Nov 02, 2009 – “Michael Jackson’s This Is It” was the top film in ticket sales in U.S. and Canadian theaters this weekend, bringing in $21.3 million for distributor Sony Corp. Last week’s No. 1 film, “Paranormal Activity” from Viacom Inc.’s Paramount Pictures, fell to second place with $16.5 million, researcher Hollywood.com Box-Office said today in an e- mailed statement.

Michael Jackson was planning Thriller movie
Nov 02, 2009 – Late pop legend Michael Jackson was planning to make a feature-length big screen version of his hit Thriller video when he died, it has been revealed.  Close friend and Jackson’s comeback tour director Kenny Ortega reveals he had discussed several movie projects with the star including a Thriller movie, and a film version of Peter Allen musical Legs Diamond, reports starpulse.com.

Akon, T-Pain Oz concert marred by violence
Nov 02, 2009 – Rapper Akon took matters into his hands at a gig in Australia when he jumped between brawling fans and ordered them to “calm down”. Akon was performing at Melbourne’s HiSense Arena as part of his co-headlining gig with T-Pain when rival gangs got into fisticuffs.

Michael Jackson commands the public one last time
Nov 01, 2009 – In a scene from “This Is It,” stage director and creative partner to Michael Jackson Kenny Ortega was sorting out how to seamlessly jump from a video feed to the King of Pop’s live cue. As MJ suggested he would face the audience, Ortega worried how Michael would know if the grand visual already flashed his cue to take it over via live performance. Michael answered, “I have to feel it.”

‘No Ceilings Mixtape’: Lil’ Wayne’s ‘No Ceilings’ official mixtape in high demand
Nov 01, 2009 – Lil’ Wayne has once again become the main subject of rap fans, and it’s not because rapper is headed to jail in 2010.  Lil’ Wayne’s official mixtape, “No Ceilings,” has become a massive hit online.

Lil Wayne slapped with copyright lawsuit
Nov 01, 2009 – Lil Wayne, who faces yet more legal woes, is now being sued for copyright infringement along with fellow rapper Birdman.

Singer killed by coyotes: Teenager folk star Taylor Mitchell attacked on remote solo walk
Oct 30, 2009 – Up-and-coming singer Taylor Mitchell died after being attacked by coyotes in a national park in her native Canada, while hiking alone in a national park. Other hikers raised the alarm after hearing the terrified screams of 19-year-old folk singer Taylor Mitchell. Read the full message from Taylor’s Mom

US-ENTERTAINMENT Summary
Nov 01, 2009 – Michael Jackson’s much-hyped concert movie reigned at the worldwide box office on Sunday, but its performance in North America was hardly a thriller. “This Is It,” composed mostly of rehearsal footage recorded in the weeks before the “King of Pop’s” death in June, earned an estimated $101 million in the five days since opening globally on Wednesday, distributor Columbia Pictures said.

Justin Timberlake Inks Tequila Deal With Live Nation
Oct 29, 2009 -  Timberlake has signed a deal with Live Nation to make his 901 Tequila the official tequila sponsor at clubs, arenas and amphitheaters across the country. It’s the first time Live Nation has entered into this sort of deal for something as specific as tequila, and it’s possible it could lead to more business between Timberlake and Live Nation.

Bucky Covington – “Gotta Be Somebody”
Oct 29, 2009 -  Nobody was more excited than Bucky Covington when Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger showed up as a co-writer on the lead single to what will likely be Tim McGraw’s last album for Curb Records. “Nickelback is country, Nickelback is country!” Covington shouted as he dashed out into the streets, embracing strangers and swinging toddlers playfully around by the arms. One of his longest-held dreams had finally become reality.

Late Michael Jackson’s Mom Katherine fights back for his assets
The shadow of darkness still prevails on the Jackson Family. Likewise, it is reported that Late Michael Jackson’s mother Katherine dismissed the lawyers whom she hired to represent her in an ongoing probate case with the executors of the singer’s estate.

Top-Earning Dead Celebrities
The money might be drying up in Hollywood, but there’s still plenty of cash being made in the graveyard. The 13 iconic figures on Forbes’ list of the Top-Earning Dead Celebrities grossed a collective $886 million in the past 12 months.

Michael Jackson’s final curtain call
Oct 29, 2009 -  His music was at the heart of it all but the videos, the costumes, the live shows, the legends about his sprawling home and immeasurable wealth — all of it fuelled the public’s interest in him and his fans’ devotion to him.

“Michael Jackson’s This Is It” carries a title dripping with tragic irony
Oct 29, 2009 -  The title for Jackson’s 50-concert stand at London’s O2 Arena, which was to have begun July 9, was a triumphant declaration that Jackson was bringing his whole arsenal of musical gifts to the stage for millions of fans.

Critics’ Choices and other notable concerts: Ghostface Killah, Dan Deacon, Thao with the Get Down Stay Down, and more Oct 29, 2009

Dr. Dre is not too fond of Rush Limbaugh
Oct 25, 2009 – Legendary hip-hop producer/MC/label head Dr. Dre, notoriously press-shy, recently revealed his feelings about one Rush Limbaugh, the conservative radio talk show host.

Rocker brings melodies, big hooks for Breslin show
Oct 25, 2009 – Back in 2006, Chris Daughtry had the same reaction as the rest of us: How had he been voted off “American Idol”?!? That seemed impossible. Now jump ahead three-and-a-half years, with his Breslin Center concert coming up. Things may be even bigger than Daughtry had fantasized.

Dr Dre Says “Man F*ck Rush Limbaugh”
Oct 25, 2009 Grammy-Award-Winning producer Dr Dre recently became the latest hip-hop artist to call out controversial talk show host (and radio personality) Rush Limbaugh. During a on-street interview over the weekend (where the paparazzi caught Dre getting into his car), Dre shared his opinion on Limbaugh and promised his long-awaited “Detox” album was on it’s way.

Morrissey Rushed to Hospital After Collapse on Stage in England
Oct 25, 2009 – Morrissey collapsed on stage in Swindon, England, Saturday night, and was rushed to the hospital, the BBC reports. He has since been released and is resting at home.

Marching to his own Beats – David E Beats
Oct 25, 2009 – From his modest beginnings of writing poetry to his breakthrough in the rap music industry, David E Beats has always had a desire to be the best. Hailing from Washington, Beats made significant strides in the music industry when he released his first mixtape, David E Beats BLVD, a fusion of hip-hop, R&B and rock.

Four Very Different Releases From Four Very Different Artists
Oct 23, 2009 – “Southern Voice” (Curb Records): Country star and husband to Faith Hill Tim McGraw has 30 No. 1 singles under his belt. He’s sold more than 40 million albums. Yet on his 12th studio album, “Southern Voice,” the remarkably consistent McGraw resorts to the unthinkable: Nickelback’s Chad Kroeger cowrites a tune on this disappointing 12-song work.

KTVU.com Talks To Kelvin Swaby Of The Heavy

Nickelback’s Chad Kroeger gets jiggy with Timbaland
Oct 22, 2009 – Timbaland and Chad Kroeger sitting in a tree? You bet. On Monday (October 20), the super-producer revealed the list of collaborators on his upcoming Shock Value II album, with the Nickelback mastermind turning up on the track “Put Tomorrow in a Bottle”.

Top 40 radio is back on top
We don’t know yet whether Lady Gaga is the Sylvia of 2009, destined to be remembered only when today’s listeners play dinner-party trivia games asking for the names of her Top 40 hits.

Meet DJ Beverly Bond, Founder Black Girls Rock!, Inc
Oct 19, 2009 – New York City born and Maryland bred; DJ Beverly Bond was raised in St. Mary’s County, Maryland prior to her success as a fashion model and DJ. Beverly emerged into the music scene, almost a decade ago and went on to become one of the most sought after DJ’s, as well as the only female DJ of NYC’s own Heavy Hitters.

Lil Wayne: As a rock star he isn’t the great he wants to be, but as a rapper? Still almost peerless
Oct 19, 2009 While still holding on firmly to the ghetto-fab failsafes of cash, money and bitches, this former Hot Boy and New Orleans scene harbinger has made his name by being smarter and subtler than thick lad Fiddy and mentally stabler than crazy uncle Eminem. And, like Kanye, he’s unafraid of experimentation, as the grand unveiling of his new rock direction demands tonight. Thankfully there’s less risk of him making a massive tit of himself in the manner Mr West is so keen on.

A very promising band called Kaos
Oct 14, 2009 – This new rock band called Kaos may intrigue you with its name alone. When asked what it means, lead vocalist Francis Marion “Kiko” Linsangan said “it means as it sounds – chaos,” which intrigued us even more.

Nominees for ‘2009 American Music Awards’ announced
Oct 13, 2009 – Recording artists Paula Abdul, Adam Lambert and Snoop Dogg revealed the American Music Awards (AMAs) nominees this  morning from the Beverly Hills Hotel. Alicia Keys, Black Eyed Peas, Jennifer Lopez and Adam Lambert were also announced as performers for the 37th annual AMAs. The AMA’s will be Adam Lambert’s debut performance of music from his forthcoming CD release. Additional acts and presenters will be announced in the coming weeks.

New Adam Lambert Song Titles Revealed
Oct 13, 2009 – Adam Lambert told MTV News today that Time For Miracles will be released on Oct. 18 and one of his producers, Rob Cavallo, also revealed three potential song titles to Yahoo! Music today.

 Eminem received four American Music Awards Nominations
Oct 13, 2009 — Nominees for the 2009 American Music Awards were announced on Tuesday (October 13), and a diverse collection of artists are in battle and the show airs live on Sunday, November 22 at 8 p.m. ET.

Em’s nominations include,
* Artist of the Year
* Favorite Male Pop or Rock Artist
* Favorite Male Rap/Hip-Hop Artist
* Favorite Rap/Hip-Hop

Dr. Dre’s ‘Detox’ Album Delayed Again
Oct 9, 2009 – Dr. Dre’s first studio album in 10 years since his 1999 smash hit ‘2010 has been pushed back again to 2010. The album was set to be released by the end of 2009, but Dre is still unhappy with the end product.

Warner Music Group names producer Rob Cavallo chief creative officer
Oct 8, 2009 – Warner Music Group has tapped producer Rob Cavallo for the newly created position of chief creative officer. In the new role he will help develop acts across all of the Warner music labels including Atlantic, Asylum, Electra and Warner Bros. Cavallo, a multiple Grammy winner, has a strong track record with credits that include Green Day’s “American Idiot,” Kid Rock’s “Rock N Roll Jesus” and most recently the top-10 release “Brand New Eyes” from the rock band Paramore.

Greg Ladanyi Grammy-Winning Rock Producer Dies
Sept 30, 2009 – Greg Ladanyi, 57, a Grammy Award-winning producer who worked with Jackson Browne, Don Henley, Fleetwood Mac and other rock bands, died Tuesday at a hospital in the Republic of Cyprus, according to his record company, Maple Jam Music Group.

Legendary Rock Producer Tom Werman Talks With KTVU.com

watch Chad Kroeger, Ryan Peake, Daniel Adair and Mike Kroeger perform “Burn it to the Ground” live from Hershey

http://nickelback.yuku.com/topic/3123

Nickelback covers OneRepublic – Stop and Stare

Nickelback announce a few 2010  tour dates

Jan. 17 – Liverpool, UK – Echo Arena
Jan. 19 – London, UK – Wembley Arena
Jan. 21 – Basel, CH - St. Jakobshalle
Jan. 24 – Linz, AT – Intersport Arena
Jan. 26 – Mannheim, DE – SAP Arena
Jan. 27 – Luxembourg, LU – RockHal
Jan. 29 – Oberhausen, DE – König-Pilsener Arena
Jan. 30 – Munich, DE – Olympiahalle
Feb. 01 – Hamburg, DE – Colorline Arena
Feb. 24 – Detroit, MI – Tiger Stadium
Apr. 17 – Bejing, CH – National Stadium

Squirrels are terrifying. At least, that’s what the two girls walking to class in front of me this morning would tell you. As they headed toward campus, a squirrel crossed the road and leaped onto the sidewalk in front of them. The girls froze. The squirrel froze. They looked at each other, while I tried to go around them because they were taking up the entire friggin’ sidewalk.

And then, without warning, the squirrel took off toward them, and they flipped out. There was screaming, high-pitched squealing, and they tried to turn and run away, bumping into me in the process. I wish I’d had some Cheerios or some form of food so I could have fed the little guy, which probably would have terrified the crap out of them.

Aside from irritating me, it also got me thinking about what animals are acceptable to run away from and be terrified of, and which ones , well… not so much. Here’s what I came up with.

Animals you shouldn’t be afraid of if they run toward you
1. Squirrels
2. Cats
3. Small Dogs
4. Hamsters
5. Sugar Ants

Animals that, if they run toward you, should make you fear for your life
1. Lions
2. Gorillas
3. Black Widows
4. Rattlesnakes
5. Perez Hilton
6. Kanye West
7. Jimmy Kimmel
8. The Eminem type of rain walkers.
9. Chad Kroeger

Feel free to fight back if #9 makes a run for it. Everyone in the universe will thank you.

Your turn. Add to the lists, let’s make this a collaborative effort.

We (the royal we) hereby serve the sentence of the people upon you, Chad Robert Turton aka Chad Kroeger, for your obvious guilt relating to the heinous crimes against society as outlined below: 

Your birth in Alberta, Canada, and choice of residence in British Columbia, Canada, smears Canadians nationwide. We all rue your worldwide fame, as critics of Canada can use your citizenship as proof that the Canadian music industry sucks. We have no rebuttal strong enough to counter.  (especially if they throw in Avril).

Your beginnings in the band known as Nickleback initially showed promise, with such tracks as Leader of Men, How You Remind Me, and to a lesser degree, Breathe. You suckered people of good taste in to claiming at least a vague liking to you, only to become a propagator of filth in coming years, soiling the reputations of those who supported you in your brief pre-conformist days.

Your voice, also arguably better in your humbler beginnings, now has the same irritating quality on every song, and has spurred countless wanna-nickleback-bes. Although we are aware this voice is a result of your own imitations of Creed and Pearl Jam, it was your use of it to propel yourself to stardom which inspired other losers to do the same. The horrendous result is that this affectation of your voice is too widespread to avoid, assaulting delicate ears all around the kingdom.

The following lyric in “Photograph,” #7 on my 100 Most Hated Songs Ever list: “I never knew we’d done without, the second floor was hard for sneaking out.” The second floor was hard for sneaking out. The SECOND FLOOR WAS HARD FOR SNEAKING OUT?
(my blender is hard for crushing ice when my drinking!)

Your attempts to resemble Jesus, likely part of a devious strategy to win favor with the Christian audience, offend me.

this is a blatant attempt to put the buddy in Christ. 

(I’m so on to you, Kroeger!) 

For these unforgivable crimes, we sentence you to a slow and grievous death! You are to be forced to wear an undersized, child’s giraffe costume and pelted by meats and various rotten food until you die of humiliation. 

You have been served!

Some of my most favorite photographic moments and most memorable are the rock concerts I enjoy attending throughout the year.

I travel to various venues in Maryland, New Jersey, Philadelphia, Delaware and have even traveled as far as Saratoga Springs NY for some of my favorite shows.

Certainly a dream job for anyone who appreciates music and their favorite musical artists and has a passion for photography would love the opportunity to be in the pit with a professional camera to really capture these amazing talents on stage.

Unfortunately unless you have a press pass to do so, you have to work with the equipment you are allowed.

I recently bought myself a Nikon P80 just for concerts. The P80 allows me to capture my favorite rock groups up close and personal even if I am not right where they rock.

Pop Evil

I think I capture these amazing rock stars pretty well despite the lack of professional equipment  with me.  I still have a keen eye for great talent!