The military is a tool of misfortune
Not the tool of honorable gentlemen
When using it out of necessity
Calm detachment should be above all
Victorious but without glory
Those who glorify
Are delighting in the killing
Those who delight in killing
Cannot achieve their ambitions upon the world

Auspicious events favor the left
Inauspicious events favor the right
The lieutenant general is positioned to the left
The major general is positioned to the right
We say that they are treated as if in a funeral
Those who have been killed
Should be mourned with sadness
Victory in war should be treated as a funeral

                                                                                         Lao Tzu

I dream of the day when we can lay down our weapons, end the conflict and release the hostages. I believe it is possible to make the workplace and Battle Free Zone. The more thought I’ve given to the resolution of horizontal violence the more I think that the conventional approach of having everyone just talk it out is not working and needs to be shelved for now.

What I have noted is that this approach only adds fuel to the fire and offers a platform and far, far too much attention to the aggressor. Our need to fix this is resulting in energy and light being placed on the wrong thing, the negative behavior = aggression.

Workplace aggressors typically use two weapons. The weapon of words = gossip and the weapon of terror = withholding information or assistance to a co-worker in need. We all know it, we all see it; and occasionally we all go there. So I propose a different approach championed by one of the greatest examples of human potential to ever walk this planet, Gandhi. We can simply, respectfully adopt a position of peaceful non-cooperation.

When you are approached with the latest from the grapevine, smile, excuse yourself and busy yourself elsewhere. When you witness a co-worker being left to fend for themselves, offer assistance. No need to make a big deal of any of it. Just make a better choice and incorporate this demeanor into your work style. Cultivate a habit of peace while keeping in mind that weeds can only grow in fertile soil.

It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. Spoken by the character Albus Dumbledore Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets~J.K. Rowling,

Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike. We wizards have mistreated and abused our fellows for too long, and we are now reaping our reward. Spoken by the character Albus Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix ~J.K. Rowling

It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends. Spoken by the character Albus Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone ~J.K. Rowling

The place where the troops camp
Thistles and thorns grow
Following the great army
There must be an inauspicious year

A good commander achieves result, then stops
And does not dare to reach for domination
Achieves result but does not brag
Achieves result but does not flaunt
Achieves result but is not arrogant
Achieves result but only out of necessity
Achieves result but does not dominate

Things become strong and then get old
This is called contrary to the Tao
That which is contrary to the Tao soon ends

                                                                                Lao Tzu

Anger has served as the fuel for manifesting many necessary social changes such as human rights. However, it is far from the only means to effect positive changes. Our American media venerates hostile personalities. The image of Clint Eastwood staring down at an opponent and stating, “Go ahead, make my day” is iconic in the hearts and minds of many.  Biting sarcasm, intended to be hurtful and to ridicule its target is somehow reworked to be accepted as funny. Lao Tzu cautions that these approaches will only eventually implode and backfire quickly.

There have been many debates about the horizontal violence or nurse-to-nurse hostility within the healthcare industry. As ugly as this all sound, it is very real and there are many that have come forward with scenarios that range from minor to tear jerking accounts. On many of the occasions when I became angry I felt justified, almost noble.  I rationalized that the importance of the principle that I was championing washed away the ugliness of my words, attitude, or demeanor.

How does one get to the point of being angry? Most authorities will agree that anger has its roots in frustration. Sources of frustration may be internal or external. Internal frustration stems from an actual or perceived personal need or blockage to a goal that builds inside causing one to feel anxious until it is met. These internal needs or blockages can range from the inability to be patient to an inability to be accepting of another person’s ideas. External frustration can be provoked by simple traffic situations or by issues as serious as resolving financial issues. The outcomes are the same, whenever frustration is allowed to build to an unmanageable state it becomes the catalyst for an inappropriate display of anger.

So the question now becomes, what is the root of frustration? My answer is the need for personal power. Many people describe the state of frustration as feeling a loss of control over a given person or situation. I believe that this statement is very accurate. Frustration is a perceived loss of personal power. Therefore, it follows that reestablishing a sense of personal power relieves the frustration. What is fundamental to gaining and maintaining true personal power is the knowledge that, the person who has true power is the person in control of themselves in any given situation and not the person yelling the loudest or coordinating unrest in a situation. 

It is vital to understand and accept that no one internal or external source of frustration makes us angry. We allow ourselves to get angry. We must own our inability to manage our frustration in a way that does not lead to the angry outburst. It is no one’s responsibility to keep us from getting angry. It is our own responsibility to ensure that we have the personal skills to recognize and manage our individual frustrations and control our response to the emotion of anger.

What is the cost of anger on our inner selves? Many people think that keeping your negative feelings pent up can cause you to develop illnesses such as cardiovascular disease. I believe that this is partially true. I don’t think it is the unreleased negative emotion that is doing the physical harm. I believe it is the negative emotion itself.

Dr. Masaru Emoto, a doctor of Alternative Medicine in Japan, has completed extensive research on the effect that thoughts, words, and ideas have on water. His initial research centered on the water on the plant. He discovered that water samples obtained from pristine environmental sources that were frozen and photographed showed beautiful crystal formations. By comparison, water samples obtained from polluted environmental sources that were frozen and photographed showed crystal formations that were dark and distorted.

He then wondered if polluted thoughts and emotions could possibly affect human beings in a similar way noting that approximately 80% of our cellular makeup is water. His further research demonstrated that pristine water exposed to harsh, destructive, negative language then frozen and photographed showed crystal formations similar to the configuration of polluted water. Pristine water exposed to supportive, loving, positive language then frozen and photographed showed crystal formations of a spectacular nature. The message Dr. Emoto extrapolated from this research is that negative emotions effect the human body at the cellular level. Our cells can literally be altered by negative or positive feelings. No wonder it can so long to forgive and heal.

Just think of what we are doing to ourselves by not managing these negative emotions and the expression of those negative emotions better. This goal is within each of our grasps; but it takes a commitment to earnest personal work to change the way you view your world so that you can change the way you chose to respond to it. It could take years with many failures and successes happening along the way. Eventually, the successes will outnumber the failures. Just imagine the feeling of well-being you can experience by letting go of the need for anger. Just imagine…

Water, Consciousness & Intent: Dr. Masaru Emoto

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAvzsjcBtx8

Because all things:
Either lead or follow
Either blow hot or cold
Either have strength or weakness
Either have ownership or take by force

Therefore the sage:
Eliminates extremes
Eliminates excess
Eliminates arrogance

                                                  Lao Tzu

I found my way to Eastern philosophy through the Western approach to health and wellness; or rather my dissatisfaction with the Western approach to health and wellness. The formative years of my nursing career were spent practicing critical care and emergency trauma. My reverence for the need and value of these specialties never faltered; but after about seventeen years of practice I found myself unsettled.

I used my knowledge and skills to offer lifesaving and therapeutic interventions to my patients but I was being haunted by a sense that somehow it wasn’t enough. I felt helpless to truly influence or control the human situation that came to my Emergency Department in endless waves of need.  I struggled with this inner unrest with my profession for years until I finally had an epiphany and accepted that my torment arose from a sense of lacking within myself and not my profession. I committed a very common error. I looked outside myself for answers instead of having the wisdom and courage to look within.

In Verse Twenty-Nine, Lao Tzu counsels us to let go and to acknowledge what is truly within our Circle of Influence or Sphere of Control. He gently guides us to embrace that it is folly to try to control anything in the outside world because our perspective is littered with blind spots of personal needs that make our judgment unreliable. It is impossible for anyone feeling a sense of no control to believe that all is as it should be.

I believe one of the dominant themes of the Western approach to life is singular achievement which ultimately drives us into isolation. I have come to realize that this is a recipe for unhappiness. There is no finish line; you never belong, you never arrive. The essence the Eastern view of reality is the awareness of the unity and interdependence of all things and events. The world is composed of the threads that weave the fabric of the phenomenon of basic oneness. All things are an inseparable part of the cosmic whole. Peace of mind (wellness) is rooted in the trust that all is as it should be.

Eastern core values can be summed up in three points: to be mindful of thoughts, speech and actions, meditate with the intent of developing insight and understanding, and to lead a life of self-respect and respect for others. These things are the only outcomes that we can drive and truly control. These core values create our true Circle of Influence and ultimately offer us the ability to lead an Awakened Life.

Investing in developing your inner world will create s powerful magnetic energy around you. When you align with the Oneness of all things you will discover how comforting and irresistible your inner light can be.  You will attract what you want into your life. This is not magical thinking; it is being in the Flow.

“Proactive people focus their efforts on their Circle of Influence. Reactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Concern.” Stephen Covey

                                                                    Lao Tzu

At the core of Compassion Fatigue is the feeling of being spent, being blind to any options and absolutely overwhelmed by a sense of isolation. If those who are trying to recover from this syndrome have the courage to be totally honest with themselves; they can also connect with a subtle sense of nobility that hovers over this painful feeling. There, right there is where the work needs to be done; for there is nothing righteous in feeling alone or victimized. In verse twenty-eight, Lao Tzu once again reminds us that we are all a part of this profound Great Oneness. The only dues charged to belong fully to this community of souls, is to live a balanced life with virtue.

To create a virtuous life you must use the building blocks of essential goodness and loving kindness. You begin by being aware of and recognize the essential goodness in all living things. Seeing the essential goodness in everyone connects you to the community of souls at a cellular level.  The fact that you are all part of this Great Creation slowly becomes tangible and undeniable. Then, you offer loving kindness/compassion to yourself; for it is then and only then that you can extend loving kindness/compassion to another. Nowhere is self-sacrifice recommended as a means to an end.

Living a balance life means following the Middle Way. In Feng Shui we refer to this as honoring the Yin Yang Principles which are the most important aspect of any Feng Shui practice. Yin and Yang are opposite but they represent the two sides of the same coin. In essence Feng Shui practitioners work to design an environment that reflects the feminine and masculine aspects (energetic not gender) of nature and in doing so, create a harmonious space. No feature of the room dominates the other. This then supports you as you try to stay in harmony with the Middle Way; and becomes the foundation for your ability to form relationships and stay connected.

When we live in this manner, our actions and words come from a place that is full. We acknowledge our connecting to the Flow of all things. There are no victims. There is no need to assign blame or conjure up any resentment. You are able to carve your life without splitting the wood.

Therefore sages often save others
And so do not abandon anyone
They often save things
And so do not abandon anything
This is called following enlightenment

Therefore the good person is the teacher of the bad person
The bad person is the resource of the good person
Those who do not value their teachers
And do not love their resources
Although intelligent, they are greatly confused
This is called the essential wonder

                                                                             Lao Tzu

Lao Tzu is reminding us that everyone who steps into the shoes of a healer/caregiver is also stepping into a leadership role. This verse is a gentle reminder of the demeanor a leader should embrace. It is vital that the professional or family care givers embrace the role as an advocate or champion for those they care for and resist the temptation to dominate the situation.

A caregiver radiates their inner strength as healing energy most times simply from being fully present in a room. It is authentic, gentle and unconditional in that it begins and ends from the place the one being cared for is at in that moment. You assume the demeanor and temperament of what is known in Tibetan Buddhism as the Meek Warrior.

“It is not the failure of others to appreciate your abilities that should trouble you, but rather your failure to appreciate theirs.” Confucius

Therefore the sages travel an entire day
Without leaving the heavy supplies
Even though there are luxurious sights
They are composed and transcend beyond

How can the lords of ten thousand chariots
Apply themselves lightly to the world?
To be light is to lose one’s root
To be restless is to lose one’s mastery

                                              Lao Tzu

Choosing to clutter your mind with worries is a decision to torment yourself with futile thinking. With all the social, political and financial world events bombarding us in the news each day, living a serene, worry-free life seems like an elusive and tantalizing dream. Imagine, living without worry. However farfetched the idea sounds; living a serene life is an active choice we can all make.

The secret is not magic it’s Mindfulness. Mindfulness is an approach to life in which you chose to be fully open and present to each moment you are living. It means resisting cluttering your thoughts with dualistic struggles over issues you have little or no control over.

Through Mindfulness, you are able to quite the relentless noise in your head that distracts your attention from seeing human and celestial angels at work and the everyday miracles that are all around us. Remaining present in the moment anchors you to Now and strengthens you against the repetitive, destructive thoughts of what if and if only.

Weaving meditative practice into your daily life offers you the foundation for developing a Mindful temperament. The desire to remain mindful will be reinforced as you begin to experience all that is around you more fully and completely. Sounds have a deeper vibration, colors are more vivid, and your ability to enjoy life experiences without judgment becomes priceless.

All at once you begin to notice how easily you move through your day regardless of events and circumstances. What was once perceived as obstacles and challenges are now viewed as isolated moments in your day that, once managed, have no place to settle in your mind, take root and fester. It is not that Stuff no longer happens, it’s just that you no longer give the outer world the power to disrupt your peace of mind and spirit.

I do not know its name
Identifying it, I call it “Tao”
Forced to describe it, I call it great
Great means passing. Passing means receding
Receding means returning
Therefore, the Tao is great. Heaven is great.

Earth is great. The sovereign is also great
There are four greats in the universe
And the sovereign occupies one of them
Humans follow the laws of Earth
Earth follows the laws of Heaven
Heaven follows the laws of Tao
Tao follows the laws of nature

                                Lao Tzu

This Verse is a gentle reminder that the Tao is eternal. It is the Presence that always was and always will be; formless and infinite. It existed before everything else. The Tao gave birth to the universe and the man made concepts of space and time. It embodies the Buddhist concept of emptiness, in that, our language and attempts to conceptualize fall short (empty) in their ability to grasp the perfect, total wonder that is the Tao.

As a caregiver, you can maintain a full well of compassion if you try to contemplate this reality in your daily meditative practice. Let the fact that we are all connected to this unimaginable, eternal Presence wash over you. Know that there is this god-like Presence within each one of us for we are all part of this Great Oneness. Honor it as you speak, behave and render care.

Be with nature. All you sense is a microcosm of our universe. Allow it to help you grasp the ethereal concept of Flow as you stay anchored to Mother Earth. Connect with its serene balance and enjoy the feeling of belonging to all that it Great.

Those with the Tao call such things leftover food or tumors
They despise them
Thus, those who possesses the Tao do not engage in them

                                                                   Lao Tzu

Individuals usually decide to listen to, buy into or follow another individual because that person inspires them. The person takes on leadership status because they resonate as an Authentic Presence to others. This is the guidance Lao Tzu shares in verse twenty-four to all professional and family caregivers; care from a place of Authenticity.

Someone who has an Authentic Presence has worked very hard be in touch with his/her true self. They have found the courage to explore the nature of their heart, mind and spirit. They know their strengths, they have embraced their shortcomings and they have set out on a course to live a genuine, awakened life. Clearly, this is true bravery.

Individuals such as these awaken our passions and dare us to think that we could follow in their footsteps. But this would require effort not just hopeful thinking. Someone with Authentic Presence has achieved some virtue that is now reflected in their energy (Aura) and you can sense it when you are with them. This reflected energy is the outcome of much loving kindness directed inward to support their personal journey to self-discovery and awakened living.

Someone with an Authentic Presence does not appear to know better than anyone else. They do not make an assumption that they are capable of fixing anything let alone implementing a Fix to someone else’s issues or challenges. A person with Authentic Presence possesses a calm confidence and ease with themselves (Tiger Energy) and with those they come in contact with or seek their assistance. They allow. They allow their heart to be open. They allow people to access them. They allow individuals to walk their own Path and discover their own answers with compassionate support. They know that they are powerless to Fix therefore; they avoid being on the receiving end of the inevitable resentment that follows interfering in the name of Caring.

Thus those who follow the Tao are with the Tao
Those who follow virtue are with virtue
Those who follow loss are with loss
Those who are with the Tao, the Tao is also pleased to have them
Those who are with virtue, virtue is also pleased to have them
Those who are with loss, loss is also please to have them
Those who do not trust sufficiently, others have no trust in them

                                                                           Lao Tzu

After years of going to extremes to discover the meaning of life, the oral stories about the Buddha relate that he heard a music teacher explain to his pupil that if he tuned his instrument too tight the strings would break; too loose and the instrument would not play. These instructions provided a great insight for the Buddha and he began to live a life according to the Middle Way. Following the Middle Way, finding the balance in life; this is the message from Lao Tzu in Verse Twenty-three.

Living at the extreme ends of any physical, emotional or spiritual continuum is exhausting and blinds you to seeing options and answers. This myopic view distorts reality and can cripple a professional or family caregiver as he/she struggles to problem solve or be available when times get tough.

Lao Tzu uses the weather and the seasons on earth as a metaphor for the Cycles of Life that we all experience. Understanding that all conditions and states of mind are temporary helps you avoid overreacting to anything that you perceive as negative. Staying mindfully, that is, living fully in each moment is vital to knowing in your soul that the sun follows the night and occasionally, there are rainbows after storms.

Because they do not contend, the world cannot contend with them
What the ancients called “the one who yields and remains whole”
Were they speaking empty words?
Sincerity becoming whole, and returning to oneself

                                                                                           Lao Tzu

In this verse of the Tao, Lao Tzu is counseling us to let go of any attachments and encouraging us to adopt an approach to life that is accommodating. In other words, find your comfort zone with Change and embrace it. Incorporating this skill into your temperament will align you with the one constant that is the reality of life, Impermanence; and allow you to Yield without lamenting the past and tormenting yourself with a sense of loss.

I am continually amazed by how appropriate these ancient teachings are to life in this century and the economic challenges our world faces today. The world is ever changing. Nothing is fixed. What we know and cling to today for a sense of stability or footing is pulled out from under us tomorrow. This has always been so but with the advent of 24-hour news services and social media, this truth seems to be relentlessly in our face and it is often hard to breath.

The world of healthcare is morphing as we speak. Long Term Care facilities, conventionally thought of as grandma’s nursing homes, are now medical surgical hospitals as resident acuity climbs in response to the transitional care models driven by managed care. Many of my nursing colleagues would cringe at the thought of a new graduate entering the specialty of home care without at least one year of subacute or acute care experience. Yet, as the availability of jobs in hospitals and rehabilitation facilities decline and the need for nurses in home care rises; home health care agencies are designing orientation programs to meet the needs of the new graduate entering into this venue as a first experience.

Soon, acute care hospitals will consist of an emergency department, perioperative services, critical care and perhaps obstetrics. All other levels of care will be provided somewhere in the healthcare continuum but not in the hospital. Community and home care support services are being rolled back at best and in many cases discontinued altogether. We can rage against these changes with all the ego-based arrogance we can muster or we can stay open and available to stay focused to ensure that we advocate for the safest and best care possible. Scary as it sounds no one has a clear vision of the future; therefore we need to be ready for anything.

Clearly the ability to adapt is an essential quality for a professional or family caregiver to develop. It is one of the ingredients to a creating a balanced life and enjoying a sense of contentment. Keep in mind that this sense of groundlessness can also help you be a better caregiver. If you are brave enough to connect with your own fears associated with uncertainty you can develop a greater sensitivity for the place that the person you are caring for finds him or herself in. This sense of identification and compassion can add a new depth to your ability to b therapeutic.

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.” Charles Darwin

The appearance of great virtue
Follows only the Tao
The Tao, as a thing
Seems indistinct, seems unclear

So unclear, so indistinct
Within it there is image
So indistinct, so unclear
Within it there is substance
So deep, so profound
Within it there is essence

Its essence is supremely real
Within it there is faith
From ancient times to the present
Its name never departs
To observe the source of all things
How do I know the nature of the source?
With this

                                                      Lao Tzu

The Tao is the essence of all things. It is the Essential Universal Energy. It is unseen, formless and unimaginable.  It cannot be created or destroyed. However, as sentient beings, we are blessed with the ability to be conscience of its presence.

We take on a physical form (body) when we incarnate into this world so that we can live within this reality and walk our Path. However, our nature is also energy (Chi), formless and unseen. To resonate with this Essential Universal Energy means to remove or at least limit any blockages to our ability to receive the energetic vibrations coming from the Universe. This then allows us to flow and feel aligned and a part of the Great Oneness.

We are slowly beginning to realize that Western approaches to staying healthy and managing the potential for disease only addresses our physical bodies and therefore, falls short of having all the answers in a very fundamental way. It does not acknowledge thereby, it does not provide any remedies for issues with our energetic selves.

I have practiced nursing for 34 years and I am far from ready to turn my back on all my education and training in Western healthcare. However, I am more than ready to say that focusing solely on the physical body is akin to doing a physical assessment on someone while the person is fully clothed. You are bound to overlook some vital findings rendering your plan of care incomplete and inadequate.

The message from the twenty-first verse of the Tao to professional and family caregivers is to be as mindful of our wondrous Energetic Nature. Embrace that human beings are far more than what is just seen (body). A human being’s unseen (energetic) nature must be kept in synchronized vibration (healthy) with the Universe if any approach to wellness is going to be truly effective.

Western practitioners often hesitate to endorse these methods for a variety of professional, ethical and legal reasons. However, I assure you that no right thinking Energetic practitioner would encourage anyone to go have acupuncture rather than take Insulin for the treatment of diabetes or do yoga rather than take antihypertensive medication. Being mindful of the energetic qualities of a human being means supplementing conventional methods with Complimentary methods which result in treating body, mind, and spirit (energy).

While it is tempting to start to attend programs to learn how to incorporate Energetic Healing methods into what you are currently doing; I implore you to go slow. Explore Feng Shui and all that balancing your Chakras can offer. Study Reiki and learn how to blend Bach Remedies but dearest caregiver; let yourself be cared for first. Feel the benefit of including Eastern approached to wellness into your daily life. Get stronger and more settled into the Flow of things before you try to offer these gifts to others. You will find yourself more ground and therefore more available to be therapeutic.

So desolate! How limitless it is!
The people are excited
As if enjoying a great feast
As if climbing up to the terrace in spring
I alone am quiet and uninvolved
Like an infant not yet smiling
So weary, like having no place to return
The people all have surplus
While I alone seem lacking
I have the heart of a fool indeed – so ignorant!
Ordinary people are bright
I alone am muddled
Ordinary people are scrutinizing
I alone am obtuse
Such tranquility, like the ocean
Such high wind, as if without limits

The people all have goals
And I alone am stubborn and lowly
I alone am different from them
And value the nourishing mother

                                                                          Lao Tzu

The Divine Feminine is a goddess common to most religious and spiritual traditions. It is thought that the original concept represents primal Mother Earth and symbolizes balance, healing, renewal and restoration. The Tao is called the Great Mother (Verse Six). The reason that it is called the Great Mother is to communicate the Tao’s all-embracing nature of receptivity and flow.

The Divine Feminine, Mother Earth and Great Mother references are not intended to be confused with Yin (feminine) energy or Yang (masculine) energy. The Tao is a concept that expands far beyond the dualistic nature of masculine and feminine. It is the unimaginable, non-dualistic  oneness of everything and everyone in the Universe. It embraces everyone and everything. It does not polarize; it unifies.

The promise held within the Tao is a Path, or a Way to harmonizing your dualistic nature and the energies of Yin/Yang. The message contained with this verse of the Tao is to work to harmonize our inner world of mind and spirit with the outer world of our daily actions and interactions (life). Try to balance and harmonize your thinking self with your feeling self. Adopt a daily spiritual practice that will ultimately create a balance of inner strength and outer will, determination, or ambition.

The Great Mother (The Oneness) is always with us. It is only when you choose to judge and assign a dualistic label to people and things that you turn your back on it. You step away from the sense of harmony and flow and you feel separate and alone. This is not to say you should sit around and do nothing but rather; accept that an academic degree(s), a powerful corporate title, or your place in the world’s pecking order does not hold a guarantee of joy and contentment.

Live a conventional life or walk the road less traveled. However, while you are developing your knowledge base and pursuing worldly success; do not neglect the development of your emotional intelligence and spirit. Live mindfully and let each moment reaffirm that you have already arrived.

“Human beings are of such nature that they should have not only material facilities but spiritual sustenance as well. Without spiritual sustenance, it is difficult to get and maintain peace of mind.”   

His Holiness the Dalai Lama

End benevolence; abandon righteousness
The people return to piety and charity

End cunning; discard profit
Bandits and thieves no longer exist

These three things are superficial and insufficient
Thus this teaching has its place:
Show plainness; hold simplicity
Reduce selfishness; decrease desires

                                                                Lao Tzu

In this nineteenth verse of the Tao, Lao Tzu is trying to make us more aware that the level of stress we experience in our lives is directly related to the strength of our Ego’s attachment to the stuff (prestige, status, symbols of importance) we have in our lives and our ego driven need for approval and recognition from outside sources.

The Ego is that part of the soul which resonates to the illusions of the material and external world. It is vital to understand that the Ego’s needs are fear based needs. It constantly torments you with the words, what if… What if I lose this? What if I can’t make this happen? What if he/she is not pleased? It mutates the goal of being in harmony with the Great Oneness and feeling a sense of connection with all things into the need for acquiring more status and being better than others so that you will be seen as worthy of love and inclusion.

Once you equate being loved as being admired for your achievements you will constantly be on the defensive and you will always experience a sense of lacking in some way. You will be fueled by a need for more; so you’ll drive yourself harder. Your Ego will never be satisfied. It can never know contentment or wholeness. It cannot connect to the Great Oneness. Its only reality is an overwhelming sense of separateness and of being alone.

Acknowledging that your Ego is at work is the first step to re-establishing balance and connectedness.  The technique is similar to realizing that your mind has wandered and you are now caught up in thought while you are trying to mediate. When you are meditating and find yourself thinking we are taught to simply acknowledge the moment as Thinking and gently, with some sense of humor toward your own humanness, return to the meditative process.

This is exactly what you need to do when you find yourself being dominated by fear-based thinking coming from your Ego. When you feel the fear and all that it stirs up inside you pause, acknowledge the fear as your Ego trying to take over. Then stop the what if story line. Gently, with the same loving kindness toward yourself that you would show any other person in distress breathe, smile at yourself and let go.

This will take practice. Remember, all our Ego based fears are deeply rooted. Do not sabotage yourself by thinking you can master this technique quickly. Just have patience and the faith that you will be stronger with time. Support this effort with other energetic approaches. Massage, reflexology, yoga, Bach Remedies whatever it takes.

As you feel stronger you will begin to be able to peel back the layers of why you feel the sense of attachment you do to all things Ego based. This is where the path to true personal growth begins. Walk slowly down that path without judgment or retribution. It is an adventure toward living authentically.

The six relations are not harmonious
There is filial piety and kind affection
The country is in confused chaos
There are loyal ministers

                                                                                                    Lao Tzu

Image a world where nurses and other members of the Interdisciplinary healthcare team actually supported each other and collaborated well. I can hear the groans and cynical replies such as: are you crazy, not in my lifetime as I type these words.  Countless articles and books have been written on this subject. New terms have entered our professional vernacular such a nurse-to-nurse hostility and horizontal violence. We can protest the insinuation but the reality still lingers; many professional caregivers have a tendency to eat their young and often anyone else who comes close.

There is no clear cut answer as to why this is. It has gone on for a long time; therefore it is fair to say that the root cause is anchored deep under many layers accumulated over many years. The price that is paid by the object of the aggression and by the aggressor is immeasurable.  Just reflect a moment on our overall state of physical health. Obesity, joint pain, heart disease, endocrine issues, back and neck pain, depression, migraine; we are slowly killing each other. Blame it on the stress of the “job” if you want but I want to propose an alternative reason. Is it possible that we are all suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?

The years of disconnect from the reason why we went into human services, how were learned to practice in school and the inevitable reality shock of what it takes to render care in any healthcare venue have taken its toll. I am beginning to believe that the years of staffing issues, overtime, downsizing, rightsizing, DOH surveys, the Joint Commission accreditation processes, Magnet designation status, get a degree, get another degree, where’s you clinical certification and the subtle but sustained message that no matter what you do; it just isn’t good enough have left us all shell shocked.

Google anything on post-traumatic stress disorder and see if the symptoms don’t sound alarmingly familiar. Interventions to workplace aggression, no matter how well intended, are often too little and too late. So what is the answer? The answer lies in awareness and recognition. Post-traumatic stress disorder is not a diagnosis reserved for the veterans of war; it also applies to warriors who battle within the healthcare industry trying to make a difference one patient/resident/client at a time.

The common denominator for individuals with PTSD is a sense of helplessness. When a professional feels helpless to influence their circumstances, anger soon follows. How we express this anger and who is the object of our anger is what I am beginning to believe is at the heart of our aggression toward each other. I encourage each of us to consider this possibility.

If these thoughts resonate with you then you must take action to help yourself. Work with a mentor, coach or if necessary, seek appropriate therapy. I implore you to resist seeing the issue in everyone else and find the courage to deal with yourself. We are all guilty. Even if your response to co-worker aggression is to turn a blind eye, you are involved. You may not be able to change the mindset of a profession but you can certainly change yourself. With faith, courage and loving kindness directed inward; you can heal yourself.

As you take solid steps toward wellness keep in mind the time honored message that Lao Tzu is sharing in this verse of the Tao; treats the other as you wish to be treated. If the other treats you unjustly, responding with aggression only feeds the darkness so respond with (Light) compassion.

The most important ethical principle in Taoism is the concept of Wu-Wei, which is defined as either acting naturally or as non-action (Renard, 2002, p. 377). Wu Wei is not laziness or indifference; it is being in the flow with the Great Oneness. The ethical belief underlying Wu Wei, is the principle that people are to act for the greater good at all times.

Act without struggling or trying to force events to occur. By conducting yourself in this way, you are not reacting to a negative workplace culture or unofficial rules established by bullies and cliques. You are maintaining your standards of ethics and inner moral code without allowing outside influences to affect them. Then, you need to try to forgive; remembering that forgiveness does not require that you to forget an event. It does require that you let go of the pain that is associated with that event. Forgiveness does not absolve the other person. It frees you.

Proceeding calmly, valuing their words
Task accomplished, matter settled
The people all say, “We did it naturally”

                                                                                                    Lao Tzu

When compassionate leadership, guidance or support is offered to another the intended outcome should be to empower the other person, not fix something for them. Shifting from fixing to empowerment helps the professional or family caregiver to let go of a responsibility that was never yours. It sends the message that the person you are trying to assist is already whole and capable and that you, as the caregiver; are there to support them as they stand up but you are not there to hold them up.

No matter how well intentioned your motives are when you enable dependence rather than responsibility and accountability; you will doom the relationship to be filled with overt or hidden resentment toward you. This is a fact that we must accept at the beginning of the relationship not learn at the end when we are resentful and confused over what went wrong.

Caregivers must relentlessly work to stay in touch with their intrinsic motives. No degree of education or experience gives us the ability to really know what is best for another. All we are really capable of doing is presenting the risks, benefits and possible alternatives to various choices. Then, it is time to step back and let the other person exercise their Right to make their own decision.

When you are able to offer your heart felt self unconditionally and find peace in the decision made with faith and trust that the individual is indeed walking their Path; you will have reached a higher level of the true caring experience then you have ever reached before.

Everything flourishes; each returns to its root
Returning to the root is called tranquility
Tranquility is called returning to one’s nature
Returning to one’s nature is called constancy
Knowing constancy is called clarity

Not knowing constancy, one recklessly causes trouble
Knowing constancy is acceptance
Acceptance is impartiality
Impartiality is sovereign
Sovereign is Heaven
Heaven is Tao
Tao is eternal
The self is no more, without danger  

                                                                                                      Lao Tzu

The Greek philosopher Heraclitus came to the conclusion after many years of study that Change is a fundamental force at the core of the Universe. He shared, “Everything flows and nothing abides, everything gives way and nothing stays fixed.”  Now if you are someone who usually sees the glass as half full, this insight offers a view filled with possibility. It is encouragement to be mindful because, you will not pass this way again. It also encourages you to have courage and patience because, this too shall pass. However, if you find yourself often trying to cling to things, hoping against hope that things will stay the way they are or the way you want; you are indeed inviting a huge amount of self-imposed suffering into your world.

One of the paths to contentment is to truly try to wrap your mind and eventually your heart around the concept of Impermanence so that you can make your peace with the fact that Change is the only thing that is constant and certain. Easy enough said, very difficult to do. It is almost goes against all that a professional or family caregiver strives for. We are determined to fixing things and then ensure that things stay fixed. Which of course they won’t.

Here is where we tend to swim in dangerous waters. Professional and family caregivers want so much to aide and assist. We are incapable of really saying no to anyone who needs our help. We take on more and more. We dedicate a huge amount of energy to achieving something that cannot be achieved because our compassion outweighs our wisdom.

The frustration that builds slowly chips away at our endurance; and we begin to de-compensate until one day, we look into the mirror at a stranger. The questions begin to echo in our heads. Why am I so tired and angry all the time? Why can’t I sleep? How did this happen; all I do is yell?

We move through our personal and professional life attaching to things, wanting them to remain solid and last forever. We experience anxiety, envy, anger and even become verbally violent with others because of our need to cling to a false perception of permanence. Resisting Impermanence blinds us to the need to adapt and find a footing in the new reality so we can thrive. It is nearly impossible for caregivers to acknowledge that they must let go. However, it is in the letting go that we can find a reprieve from alienating friends, colleagues and loved ones.

Finding the peace of mind that so often eludes caregivers starts with the caregiver getting in touch with his/her Need to Fix things back to the way they were. When we have sat quietly and mustered up the courage to do the introspective work needed to explore this trait in an open and honest manner, we will have taken a huge step to resetting our energies in a more realistic and positive direction.

But it is vital that we approach this introspective work with the same loving kindness for ourselves that we would offer to another. There is nothing to be served by gutting yourself up the middle, dissecting each element of your personality and analyzing things to death. Just start slowly by asking what was my honest motivation to do something and what was I honestly trying to achieve. Gently…slowly; acknowledging that you are indeed a good person every step of the way. Offering yourself the greatest of gifts; unconditional love and acceptance.

Above it, not bright
Below it, not dark
Continuing endlessly, cannot be named
It returns back into nothingness
Thus it is called the form of the formless
The image of the imageless
This is called enigmatic
Confront it, its front cannot be seen
Follow it, its back cannot be seen

Wield the Tao of the ancients
To manage the existence of today
One can know the ancient beginning
It is called the Tao Axiom

                                                                                   Lao Tzu

In Verse Fourteen Lao Tzu poses this question; how can we know the Oneness of All Things (The Tao)? How does someone begin to try to understand the magnificence of something that cannot be seen, cannot be heard, and has no shape? Imagine trying to comprehend that which has no beginning and no end, that is; the indefinable vastness of eternity. Clearly, our five mundane senses fail us at this time. One cannot truly know the Tao without first using your energetic sixth sense (Your Intuition) to feel its presence.

The Tao is the origin of the Universal Energy (Chi) that vibrates within each of us and unites us to Source. Studying the wisdom expressed within the Tao Te Ching infused us with the knowledge needed to enable that Universal Energy (Chi) to flow freely within each of us while it also forms an energetic world wide web that binds us all.

Each of us holds the vibrational energy of his/her Chi in their aura. The aura is an extension of our unique energetic selves. With practice, each of us is able to perceive the aura of another. Notice I did not say see another person’s aura, I said sense it. While some individuals are able to actually see auras, this is not as common as being able to pick up on the “Vib” of another person and know if it is strong or weak, bright or dull, light or dense.

Staying present and open allows you to communicate with this field of life energy that exists around every living thing, plants, animals, and person. Try to take time to be in nature. It is here that you begin to access your connection to the Oneness. It is here that you begin to slowly become aware and understand that you are distinct and unique but not alone. You are a vital part of an incredible whole.

When you do the inner work, you begin to create subtle shifts in your energy that move you out of struggle (suffering) and out of falling back into vibrational patterns that no longer serve you. These subtle shifts offer you glimpses of harmony and sow the seed of knowing you have the ability to be at peace with yourself, at peace with others and at one with the Tao. This potential cannot be realized and ultimately actualized without slowing down, allowing time for daily practice and listening to the wisdom that will come during quite, gentle introspection.

What does “the greatest misfortune is the self” mean?
The reason I have great misfortune
Is that I have the self
If I have no self
What misfortune do I have?

So one who values the self as the world
Can be given the world
One who loves the self as the world
Can be entrusted with the world

                                                                          Lao Tzu

No rational being would admit to seeking suffering over happiness yet, this is what each of us does when we consistently let the opinions of others influence our actions and shape our self-image. Those of us who have chosen a life/a career in service (human service) did so never thinking that this choice would place us in harm’s way.

Who could have anticipated that wanting to help a fellow human being, when they are most vulnerable, would invite a steady diet of analysis, harsh comments and judgment from a variety of critics, even the ones we try to serve?

Some sources call this reality shock. Others explain it as one of the many paradoxes of human nature. However you want to box it, the reality is that your motives, skills and quality of care will always be seen as fair game for “savvy consumers”, regulatory agencies, the media, and even colleagues to dissect.

As I see it, you have three choices. You can choose the relentless torment of being perpetually disappointed and angry, you can choose to get the hell out of Dodge and leave the profession; or you can choose Equanimity and proceed along your life’s path observing the “bad behavior” all around you, yet not allowing it to deter you from your purpose or peace of mind.

Equanimity is one of the Four Immeasurable at the core of Buddhist thought. The others are Loving Kindness, Compassion, and Joy. Equanimity is the ability to see without being caught by what you see. It is the ability to not react to your reactions. Imagine! Equanimity breaks the chain of suffering by helping one not react to the pleasant or unpleasant feeling associated with the Eight Worldly Winds: Praise verses Blame, Success verses Failure, Pleasure verses Pain, and Fame verses Disrepute.

Becoming excessively attached to success, praise, fame or pleasure can be a clear road map for suffering when the Worldly Winds change direction. Success is wonderful, but if it defines you, what happens when the inevitable failure lands at your feet? Praise can be addicting. Seeking to constantly fill that craving soon depict you as needy. Over identifying with failure breeds a sense of incompetence or inadequacy. Overreacting to pain (physical or emotional), will wear you down and doom you to a life of discouragement.

Equanimity gives you perspective. A unique understanding or sense that your inner well-being is independent of the Eight Worldly Winds therefore; you are more likely to remain calm & balanced as the Winds swirl around you. When anchored, such ability gives rise to a great sense of inner peace.

The Universe knows that I have not mastered this ability/skill as yet. I often feel (in retrospect) that I have acted like Don Quixote battling windmills in response to my challenges from the Eight Worldly Winds. However, with time (hopefully growth and not just aging), study and meditative practice I am inching my way toward Equanimity. Hard work, yes; but the occasional respites associated with experiencing a genuine sense of calm have fueled me to try to attain this state of mind on a more consistent basis.

I believe the key is space. The ability to put space between the event and the reaction to the event; much like the key to meditation is to make the space between each thought longer. So how do you create such a healthy space? Tap into that courage that enables you to know and accept yourself with Loving Kindness. Try to frame others criticism with Compassion by understanding that his/her words and actions often have roots in that very human need to deflect attention away from oneself. Find the Joy in living an authentic life guided by your on intuitive knowledge of right and wrong. Consider these words from anthropologist Carlos Castaneda,

We either make ourselves miserable, or we make
ourselves strong.  The amount of work is the same.

The five sounds make one deaf in the ears
The five flavors make one tasteless in the mouth

Racing and hunting make one wild in the heart
Goods that are difficult to acquire make one cause damage

Therefore the sages care for the stomach and not the eyes
That is why they discard the other and take this

                                                                  Lao Tzu

These beautiful words encourage us all to stay on the course of spiritual growth as we try to find a firm footing during these dynamic, often unsettling times. Third Dimensional living that is, living in the energetic vibration of materialism, no longer has a place. We realize now that the immediate gratification of the Third Dimension’s senses of sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell actually filtered out more information than they allowed in; thereby slowing our ability to acknowledge the truth that lies beyond the acquisition of material things.

This Verse goes on to reassures us that we no longer need to use drugs, alcohol or other substances, common tools associated with Fourth Dimensional living and the energetic vibration of magical thinking, to feel a greater connection to Source.

Indeed, our consciousness is steadily moving to a place (Fifth Dimension) where we can now embrace the Oneness of All Things (The Tao) and the God-like presence within each of us. In short, we are being encouraged to continue to evolve away from needing materials to feel contentment, or using magic to feel connected, toward being able to see miracles in everyday life and experiencing lasting joy.

Therefore, that which exists is used to create benefit
That which is empty is used to create functionality

                                                                  Lao Tzu

I have often heard Pema Chodron say in her audiobooks that the goal of meditation is to make the space between two thoughts longer. In this verse of the Tao, Lao Tzu provides the ancient foundation for that teaching. He reminding us that the emptiness within a container is what makes it useful. The empty form created by the spokes of a wheel is what provides strength and function for the cart or wagon. So it seems that the lesson is to understand that, much of what we need to function as a whole lies within our silent core.

Silence or better yet, stillness is not something that Caregivers are often comfortable with experiencing. Caregivers are doers/fixers so it naturally follows that their comfort zone lies within the boundaries of being busy and joy is defined as the ability to multitask well. The paradox is that Caregivers view inactivity as wasteful and annoying but they often lament that they cannot wait for some “down time”.

It is not uncommon to hear Caregivers describe that “down time” as crashing. Family caregivers speak about crashing on the couch or bed at the end of the day. Many of my colleagues arrive to work on Monday describing how they crashed over the weekend. I am still guilty of this practice from time to time. The thing we need to contemplate is our need to drive ourselves to the point of exhaustion.

Is it superstition? If we don’t work till be drop, will something bad happen? Is it fear of what others might say about us? Is consistently pushing yourself beyond endurance really going to create positive gossip? Why is stopping or stepping aside to allow others to contribute; or do their share so uncomfortable? The answer is indeed, in the stillness where silence lives.

The first time I actually tried to meditate, I thought I would wiggle a hole in my jeans. Still my mind, I could even sit still! I kept rationalizing that this stillness was bad for my arthritis but that argument went out the window as I found walking mediation frustrating and anxiety provoking.  Sitting in silence takes courage. Imagine being subjected to the onslaught if all the thoughts in your head as you struggle to make the space between each of those thoughts longer. However, what Caregivers initially lack in courage they make up in discipline until they can access their courage.

So I sincerely recommend trying to challenge yourself with practicing stillness. Find the discipline to sit quietly several times a week if only for ten minutes and discover the peace that can only be found at your core. Work up to a daily ritual of meditation. You will slowly find the courage to sit with the noise as it gently transition to space with time. The answers are in that wonderful, peaceful, empty space.

]]> http://careforthecaregiver.me/2012/03/05/the-tao-te-ching-verse-ten/ Mon, 05 Mar 2012 02:02:27 +0000 phyllisquinlan http://careforthecaregiver.me/2012/03/05/the-tao-te-ching-verse-ten/ In holding the soul and embracing oneness
Can one be steadfast, without straying?
In concentrating the energy and reaching relaxation
Can one be like an infant?
In cleaning away the worldly view
Can one be without imperfections?
In loving the people and ruling the nation
Can one be without manipulation?
In the heavenly gate’s opening and closing
Can one hold to the feminine principle?
In understanding clearly all directions
Can one be without intellectuality?

Bearing it, rearing it
Bearing without possession
Achieving without arrogance
Raising without domination
This is called the Mystic Virtue

                                                                  Lao Tzu

Verse Ten asks us to consider the question, is it possible to embrace our synchronicity with the Tao (The Great Oneness) without losing our sense of uniqueness and self?

As I write these words, I can feel the feminist in me formulating an argument that would caution against losing any part of your identity to a group or collective. However, if I try to connect with my Yin Energy (Feminine Energy), I intuitively know that I can be accommodating without yielding.

To accommodate without yielding that is; to be able to connect without being taken over. There is both a beauty and a strength embedded in that concept. It honors the importance of the individual while acknowledging that the union of souls enriches us all.

This conclusion can only come from viewing this question with your heart. Once you find the courage to live with an open heart, the first thing you may notice is that you share so much with others. There are so many common denominators: a need to belong, a need for love, battling against fear, living in hope, the need to care and to be cared for by another.

The sense of connectedness that can come from accessing your compassion can actually fortify you rather than make you feel a sense of sacrifice.  It is a sense of belonging and a knowing that the whole is indeed, greater than the sum of its parts.

Compassion will fill those spaces in each of us once held by judgment and slowly replace it with patience and understanding. To truly have a sense of yourself, allow the Tao to flow in you and through you. Understand that who you really are cannot be separated from all that surrounds you. We are all part of the Whole. See and accept the magnificence of this. Accommodate without yielding.

]]> http://careforthecaregiver.me/2012/02/24/the-tao-te-ching-verse-nine/ Fri, 24 Feb 2012 13:05:34 +0000 phyllisquinlan http://careforthecaregiver.me/2012/02/24/the-tao-te-ching-verse-nine/ Holding a cup and overfilling it
Cannot be as good as stopping short
Pounding a blade and sharpening it
Cannot be kept for long

Gold and jade fill up the room
No one is able to protect them
Wealth and position bring arrogance
And leave disasters upon oneself

When achievement is completed, fame is attained
Withdraw oneself
This is the Tao of Heaven

                                                            Lao Tzu

This ninth verse of the Tao challenges us to explore why we tend to pursue excess. We chase contentment like a phantom in a dream. We never quite wrap our arms around it. We torture ourselves with relentless thoughts like; you can never be too rich or too thin. Where is the finish line? Why is it so hard to appreciate the here and now?

More is just that, more. More does not equate to happiness. In fact, Lao Tzu suggests that excess is often burdensome. He counsels that a cup is easier to hold if it not filled to the brim.  He cautions that over attachment to possessions can doom you to a life lived in fear of losing them and echoes the teaching of the bible that great pride comes before the fall. The enlightened soul understands that the greatest experience is in this moment; the moment we are living right now. Everything else is an illusion created by our egos.

This is no to suggest that we should not set goals and strive to be our best.  It is a gentle reminder to appreciate each and every moment of your life as you journey. Being mindful changes your perspective from happiness as being contingent upon attaining possessions and status to happiness as always being in your life with the occasional bonus of very satisfying moments showing up along the way.

Caregivers tend to wait to be happy until something is fixed. If we were to slow down,  just for moment, and get settle upon the fact that things are always changing and nothing stays the same (fixed) for long; we might enjoy a good laugh at ourselves for our very human, compassion driven silliness.

Find your contentment in the now; even if the only sense of joy to can touch is your own ability to be open and available to another human being when they are most in need.

Dwelling with the right location
Feeling with great depth
Giving with great kindness
Speaking with great integrity
Governing with great administration
Handling with great capability
Moving with great timing

Because it does not contend
It is therefore beyond reproach

                                                             Lao Tzu

We are encouraged in verse eight to adopt the manner and nature of water. Water moves in response to the tides. It supports and nurtures all life forms. It follows the path of least resistance while shaping everything it encounters along the way. It is relentless. It sparkles in the sun and moon light. It responds to its environment by morphing into steam with heat and ice with the cold; yet it always remains its authentic self.

These qualities should come easily to us because 60% of the human body is water. Yet we seem to need structure far more that fluidity. We are shaped by our belief systems or managed by someone else’s belief system; and all too often these are ridged and judgmental. Perhaps this is the moment to get quiet, reflect and decide if it is time to make a course correction.

Deciding that it is time to change the way you think is not sacrilegious although it can dredge up feelings of guilt. Having the courage to decide that it is time to change the way you think signals growth. You are honoring your Right to free choice. The key is to acknowledge the value of your old beliefs and the role they played in getting you to this point on your path. Gently smile and say thank you to the things that have anchored you thus far; then turn, walk on and begin to flow.

May I ask you a question? Or maybe a few questions?

If you only knew that you could be, have, create, built, achieve, and do whatever it is that you want for the rest of your life. If you TRULY believed this, how hard and consistent would you work on materializing your goals?

- How much earlier would you wake up?
- How much longer in the day would you work?

- Would you plan your day more efficiently?

- Would you make more beneficial decisions throughout your day?

- How many things outside of your comfort zone would you dominate because you realize just how small of a challenge they really are compared to the bigger picture of reaching your most desired dreams?

-  How would it really make you feel to achieve your dreams?
- What would the quality of your life look like if you accomplish the major goals you’ve set for yourself?

- How would you really feel after accomplishing your goals?

I know that was more than a few questions… But take the time go back and really internalize them and let them sink in. Next time you set goals for yourself, keep asking yourself these questions.

It’s not enough that you set goals for yourself. You have to BELIEVE first that they are actually possible.

Having an unbreakable belief that whatever happens, you WILL and CAN conquer your goals, even if it means facing your deepest and darkest fears. If you want it bad enough, sooner rather later you will get it.

For me, everything changed when I learned to identify, and continue to identify the “thought culprits” that have allowed me to let some dreams and major goals go unconquered. Once I understood mind shift, once I learned to change and dominate my thought process, the way I made decisions, the way I reacted to events in my life, my belief system changed as well.

Amazing things started to happen for me. Inspiring people, beautiful people started to enter my life. Goals that were mountains quickly became molehills. And I began the process of dominating my checklist of goals!

So… Why do most people fail at accomplishing large goals?

Mostly because they fail to develop a MEANINGFUL enough set of REASONS WHY they need to achieve this goals, therefore the belief that they would accomplish a particular goal was not strong enough for them to CONTINUE as soon as a challenge came their way, resulting in failure, or going after a “less challenging”, or a more easily attainable goal to fill an immediate satisfaction.

Not having STRONG enough REASONS is why some of us choose to sit on the couch and watch T.V. over doing activities that will move us closer to our goals. It’s why some of us decide to exchange regular exercise for the couch. People who haven’t developed strong enough reasons will choose mediocrity over greatness any day of their life.

Do you have Good Enough Valuable Reasons Why You Must Accomplish your Goals?

Please, ALLOW yourself to take the time to ask yourself all the reasons WHY you want something in the first place, then ask yourself…

“What price will I pay  if I don’t change today?”

“How will I really feel if I don’t accomplish my most desired dreams?”

If you have a strong desire, strong goals, if you have big dreams, if you want a better life for yourself, the ones around you, and those you love most and you’re not currently there yet…

You will honestly have to DEMAND more from yourself, right away develop a higher sense of urgency, and more importantly you need to make your reasons “why” MUCH stronger and turn them into “musts” together with a burning desires.

When your reasons are strong enough, no goals are big enough.

You will succeed, you will win!