ONWARDS I SAY!!!

So I was on a forum, a very nerdy forum. And someone asked me who my favourite superhero was. I answered by saying it was a tie between Frozone from The Incredibles, flash (justice league), the green lantern (justice league), iron man, the hulk, batman,justice lord batman(they’re two different people), and the question.

Relatively speaking I had less favourites than everyone else but everyone instantly decided to show their appreciation for the question and how much they loved the fact that DC had decided to make a Latina lesbian superhero, and how the controversial issues helped to educate people and blady bla bla bla. It’s not that I’m insensitive or have some vendetta against lesbians, it’s just that as much as I love DC, I can’t help but think that they only decided to make a lesbian ethnic minority character who was raised a catholic because it’s insanely controversial and controversial stories make one hell of a lot of money.

So I explained that I actually meant original/ justice league question (which was straight guy) and I thought he was better than his successor because his story was original whereas her story was the run of the mill loose everything then get trained to be a crime fighter just like batman, with the slight twist that she was fighting crime before she lost everything too. Not only that but it seems all of the fans ONLY like her because she’s a lesbian (just like they did when they made the green lantern gay) and want her to be featured as much as possible, not because she was a good superhero, but because she was a lesbian which is like buying an HD TV because of the ergonomically designed buttons rather than the fact that it’s in HD. Or if you prefer a Valentine’s day analogy, it’s like asking an awesome person to be your valentine because you like their nose.

I have to take a second to address this. There are many green lanterns, just like there were many batmans (batmen?) in batman inc. There was always green lantern corps which had thousandths of green lanterns. Among which were Hal Jordan and his backup John Stewart. John Stewart in the future has a kid and Hal Jordan from the start of his story has a thing with Carol Ferris and later on Jillian Pearlman (the original superhero playa). So naturally when looking to make a superhero gay in an alternate universe they went for the hero whose successors have the most love based story-lines out of them all. The original Green lantern himself Alan Scott. It just seems like DC is clutching at straws and doing anything it can to stay alive, as marvel has generated a lot of publicity with its movies and DC hasn’t released a new movie in years. And why am I so passionate about this? It’s because they were saying that they were going to make a major character gay and as everyone had suspicions about batman and robin we paid close attention and they fed off that for months and then it turns out that not only was it the green lantern. But it was a green lantern that most people hadn’t heard of.

Rant aside, saying this on the forum went down like a lead balloon, so lets compare the two questions.

Charles Victor Szasz: Started in 1967,
Story:When magic was first harnessed by humans they summoned the 3 worst sinners and punished them and he told the mystical wizard people that if they didn’t kill him then he’s come back stronger and kill them all. So they wiped his memory and stole his face so even if someone knew who he was, they wouldn’t be able to recognize him and as a result he questioned everything, tried to find out who  he really was and later started fighting crime.

Attributes:
Massively big on conspiracy theories.
Can find out pretty much anything he wants to (including superheroes real names/ origins.
Great acrobat.
One of the worlds best martial artists.
Sherlock level detective or better.

Renee Montoya: First appeared 1992,
Origin: Widow of GCPD (Gotham City Police Department) officer, active in roman catholic church, daughter of immigrants from Dominican Republic.
Story: 2 face falls in love with her and believes the only way he can have her is to take everything from her. He outs her as a lesbian before framing her for murder. Then kidnaps her and makes it look like she escaped. Batman saves her and she returns to GCPD but her family disown her.
becoming the question: She shoots someone in self defense but a corrupt crime scene investigator sells the bullet on the internet. but the bullet is needed to prove it was self defense  She beets the name of the buyer out of the guy and then gets the bullet back from him. Another officer called Allen investigates the bad cop but then he and his informants get shot. Renee then takes over from him, finds the bad cop’s girlfriend, beets her unconscious, pulls a gun on the bad cop but she couldn’t pull the trigger. The next day she quits GCPD, gets drunk, stays drunk for weeks then goes hired by the question. They take down bad guys and all is well, and then the question reveals he’s dying of cancer and wants her to be his successor.

Attributes:
Martial Arts
Good detective
Good marksman
Cool vaporizer gun thingy

So in conclusion the original question was more original, badass and therefore better than new one, although good, just isn’t as good.

[Insert catchy sign off here],
Jotunda- the guy you’re not awesome enough to be

PS. Did anyone else notice how they changed the green lantern symbol?