Noun: Miss Piggy.  Opinion: Worship.

This is some fucking pig.

That’s what Charlotte would have had to spin on her little web had she met Miss Piggy, a force so inimitable and awe-inspiring that she doesn’t even have a first name and makes the world address her by title.  “Some Fucking Pig.”  I would like to have seen this meeting happen, between two exceptional ladies from the annals of my childhood’s artistic education, though it seems a foregone conclusion that Miss Piggy would have pretended to be afraid, scream, then eaten the over-articulate arachnid.

Well, Charlotte is dead, but thankfully Miss Piggy lives on.  She is currently starring in a video that comes from who knows where (YouTube, birth mother to all things worth wasting life watching) but landed and splattered all over my Facebook homepage.  Yes, she only shows up at the end, but steals the entire fucking show from those other pussy Muppets.  They need to get their headshots in order and polish up their audition routines in the hopes of getting some work way off the Strip, since Miss Piggy is Muppet enough for five universes.

She is also the author of one of my favorite books from childhood/now, Miss Piggy’s Guide to Life.  I guess it was meant to be funny-haha, but I took that shit seriously.  I learned the ways of sporting feather boas and broad-brimmed hats, a habit I will reacquire as soon as I figure out where my family buried them to keep me from bringing shame upon my kin.  She wrote nothing but sense—given the choice between a pastry and an artichoke, for example, she shrewdly advises to opt for the pastry.  It weighs less.  There is no arguing with such impenetrable logic.

Here’s the thing that is so goddamn inspiring about this talking porcine lady.  Her self-assurance goes against all odds—fat (by magazine standards, not Midwestern street fair standards) with oversized nostrils, she has resisted the pressures of her show business environs to own the fuck out of what she has.  As opposed to some.  You know those two pink Mahna Mahna background bitches had work done.  No one has lips like those without the help of a syringe filled with hyaluronic acid.

But enough about those fraudulent hos.  Miss Piggy, in all her zaftig glory, snorting up pastries through her snout then karate-chopping scrawny, emotionally-unavailable frogs into next Wednesday, is a role model for women everywhere.  She’s crazy affected, delusional in her self-confidence, and obliterates the French language like it’s the Parisians who have it wrong.  Yet there is a serenity to her that is enviable and admirable—the zen of self-love and acceptance.  Never do you see her caught up in the tangles of existential angst or driven by the need to validate her being.  Get over yourself, Kermit. It’s not easy being yellow, either (just ask Scooter, diligent and near-sighted, the most Asian of all Muppets).  She glides into a room like the gift to mankind that she is, tossing her flaxen weave, fluttering her fake eyelashes and pronouncing her presence in a singsong voice.  Attention must be paid!  Take THAT, Sam the Eagle!  She has more charisma in one of her eight fingers than you do in your entire bald head!  Try running for office against her and your thinly-veiled Republican ticket will be effing ANNIHILATED in swing states by the margin of the number of closeted trannies who live there!

There is no better source of wisdom than Miss Piggy.  You need a guide to life?  Look no further than to the only Muppet who looks like it could teach you a thing or two in bed.  Bitch is fierce.

New yarn!

The joy. The excitement. The awe. The drooling.

This past weekend I went to visit my mum and she took me to a famous knitting shop called Charlotte’s Web in Exeter, N.H. to scoop up some new skeins and other supplies. Of course, no trip to the knitting shop is devoid of roaming back and forth frothing at the mouth trying to decide on what to buy.

There were a number of delicious eco-friendly yarns, as well, which was exciting and intriguing.

I ended up settling on four skeins of Filatura di Crosa 127 Print Yarn in a beautiful deep eggplant, tan, and greys colorway; as well as 1 skein of some yarn which I cannot remember (pictured above, front) the brand since I bought it sans label but its bright and amazing and I think will be a great contrast for the 127 yarn as part of a project I have in my for one of my best friends.

I also scooped up two skeins of Noro Kochoran–and its so soft and gush worthy and the teals in this yarn pop so much it couldn’t be denied (it’s #65 if you care). Could not.

One of the side effects of a tragedy like the shooting at Fort Hood is its overshadowing of so many other concerns.  The event is just so sad that it makes much else seem, at least, temporarily, insignificant.  (I say, temporarily, because, attention spans are short in our media-drenched culture.)

Such overshadowing can be especially problematic for a writer or artist suffering from writer/artist’s block.  One feels idiotic to even mention such an issue, but there it is–one more reason why one’s work feels stupid, not worth the trouble.   This is especially true if you are a writer or artist whose work doesn’t deal with these kinds of violent tragic impulses, this extent of sudden loss.

This reaction sounds terribly narcissistic.   But usually the struggling writer/artist feels the national tragedy deeply.  He/she may want to respond in some helpful, articulate, way, but can only come up with platitudes.  Writing well about politics and despair may simply not be one’s cup of tea.  However, in the midst of such events, writing about anything else may feel idiotic.

Don’t be driven into inaction because you feel insignificant.  Go on.  You are who you are.  You do the work you do.

This is not to say that you shouldn’t stretch yourself.  You absolutely should.  (Especially if you’re someone prone to blocks or avoidance.)   But don’t give up on something because you feel that it seems silly, inconsequential.

Think about (i)  Dutch interior paintings (Vermeer); and (ii) still lives (Cezanne, Braque, Picasso).

Think  about (i) Charlotte’s Web, (just about the most brilliant children’s book every written – about a pig, spider, and barn);  (ii) Ulysses (a day, mainly, in the life of humdrum Leopold Bloom, (iii) To the Lighthouse (which has, to my mind, one of the most heartbreaking descriptions of the changes in England wrought by World War I, told mainly by the wind rushing through an abandoned house, (iv) The Importance of Being Earnest, (v)  A Midsummer’s Night’s Dream; (vi) almost any poem by Robert Frost, William Carlos Williams, lots of  Chinese poets, (vii) too many others to name.

Don’t judge yourself so much.  If you are someone that writes about Columbine, or 9/11, or Fort Hood, that’s wonderful–our world needs help understanding these horrible events.    But don’t worry if you do not directly work on these things;  everything you are and know and think about is in the core, or texture, or background of what you do.  So just do it;  it will do.

PS – check out my many other posts re writer’s block, and writing, and writing exercises, by checking those categories.  Also, check out 1 Mississippi by Karin Gustafson at Amazon, or at link from home page.

About a week ago, I asked you about your favorite books for vegetarian and vegan kids.  Little did I realize, however, that you wouldn’t be able to view people’s write-in votes.

Because I love recommendations — and I suspect you do too — I’m posting the three books readers of this blog suggested, in addition to Charlotte’s Web (currently the favorite), Hubert the Pudge, and the other books available as answer choices.

They are:

1. That’s Why We Don’t Eat Animals by Ruby Roth
2. Victor, the Vegetarian: Saving Little Lambs by Radha Vignola
3. Herb the Vegetarian Dragon by Jules Bass and Debbie Harter

Are there others that should have made the list?

Tickets for the children’s classic CHARLOTTE’S WEB are now on sale at NCTC! Prices are $10 for adults and $8 for children, students, and seniors. Special group rates and party packages are also available. The play will be presented at NCTC Performing Arts Theatre, located at 743 North Mountain Road in Newington. Performance times are Friday, December 4 at 7 p.m.; Saturday, December 5 at 2 p.m. and 7 p.m.; and Sunday, December 6 at 2 p.m.

Based on the 1952 classic work by E.B. White, this adaptation by award-winning playwright Joseph Robinette captures the original story in a thrilling theatrical presentation. All the characters are here: Wilbur, the irresistible young pig; Fern, the loving girl who understands the animals; Templeton, the gluttonous rat who does an occasional good deed; the Zuckermans and Arables; the residents of the barn cellar; and, most of all, the extraordinary spider, Charlotte, who proves to be both “a true friend and a good writer.”

The cast includes eighteen children, ages 8 to 14,  from eight Connecticut towns: Newington, Farmington, Hartford, Simsbury, West Hartford, Wethersfield, Windsor, and as far as Fairfield. The director of the production is Jill Luberto, who is new to NCTC, but a veteran of children’s theatre in Connecticut.

Call (860) 666-NCTC (6282) to reserve tickets today!

UPDATE! The Saturday matinee is already sold out! Remaining performances are:

Friday, December 4 at 7:00 p.m.
Saturday, December 5 at 7:00 p.m.
Sunday, December 6 at 2:00 p.m.

Firstly, for anyone who has been here before, you’ll notice I’ve changed the name of the blog. It is now the same as the web address and I just like it better. A change is as good as a holiday and I’ve been lucky enough to have a bit of both this week. I am trying to focus on the positive, which is that I was lucky to have a break at all and not be down because it is now behind me.

I am also enjoying a sense of accomplishment because I faced my fear and came out stronger for it, with new and useful knowledge of myself. Travelling to the Current Person of Interest’s home town, where I was living at the time Daughter Number One died, was challenging. Being there felt like a giant dose of deja vu. But it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. Admittedly there were places I deliberately avoided, but my focus stayed pretty much with the Current Person of Interest and I felt safe and secure in the cosy web he wove around me.

And what a web it was. For comparison it was just as lovingly and skillfully crafted as the ones Charlotte made to save Wilbur’s bacon, with less open-mouthed gawping townsfolk. And more sparkly bits. And of course the Current Person of Interest didn’t blow it out his backside, but I couldn’t have been more amazed if he had. Oh, alright! Maybe a little bit more amazed! Still, in lieu of the slack-jawed townsfolk,  there was me. Full of astonishment and wonder, my heart overflowing with his thoughtfulness and consideration. I think it is safe to say I have never been so well looked after in my entire life.

From the phone calls prior to our arrival to discover my preferences, to child proofing his apartment, to cooking us meals there were so many constant reminders that Daughter Number Two and I were in capable and caring hands. I felt very special. In past relationships I have had people be nice to me, be caring towards me, but not in such a consistent holistic way. Most of the time it has been me in the role of caregiver, the one focussed on the others happiness. There has never been a relationship where I haven’t felt that I have come second and it was a place I accepted willingly. I was as neglectful of my own needs and happiness as any previous partner I’ve had. In fact second place is probably optimistic since the children and other commitments came before me too.

I am enjoying being in a relationship where I truly feel I have met my match in every way. It is a meeting of minds, of hearts, of bodies and souls. There is a balance to this relationship that I haven’t had before. And I really, really like it.

We woke up again this morning to a fresh day and even cooler weather than we had Sunday morning. The night was good with the windows open again. I awoke several times in the night and it was always near my opinion of frigid, but I won’t complain about the cold. You’ll never hear me speak evil of the dear colder weather.

I skipped school today mainly because I just didn’t feel like driving all the way there just to hear Professor Lewis complain about the poor fishing conditions, his obnoxious family or the like. Besides, FedEX was supposed to bring us our new computer, the one that is an actual twenty-first century, well manufactured machine that does not have a label on the side that reads, “Dell.” However, I got online (which is a huge deal for us these days to even do. It takes a lot of patience and about forty-five minutes) and I wanted to check and see about what time the FEDEX guy would be here to make our delivery. It said nothing. I called and I was told that our package is there, but the shipment center in Fort Myers our package is stationed at is only open Tuesday through Saturday and they only make deliveries on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I thought that the mail system had a motto that says something like, “neither sleet nor snow, rain or shine…” something along those lines that get’s to the point saying nothing will hinder the mail from getting to the people. Maybe that’s just the USPS. So, another day of waiting for the wonder machine.

We did post a few more things in the shoppe. We’re reading a lot on the forums about people who are making a good income from their shops and they did it/do it. We’re encouraged and have several small goals lined up which leads to one large one.

It’s evening and the girls are getting a bath. One of my favorite times of the day because it signals that night is upon us and that means rest time…usually. I think we’re going to have a popcorn night in bed tonight with Jada and watch Charlotte’s Web. Jada’s been dieing to see it for weeks now. It finally came via NetFlix.

That’s our big Monday. Nothing much happened. OH, Adonis did die in that poem by Shakespeare. It’s such beautiful literature.

-Kyle

Meet Charlotte Photo by Cassie

As near as I can tell this is a Eriophora transmarina from Australia. It was sitting in a covered glass on the counter top when I came home from work last night.  A note on the top read.

Beware

“Jessica saved your life. Beward! Spider! Real One!” I picked up the glass and shook it to get a better look at what was inside. It stayed still and curled up. I thought that saving my life meant the spider got dead. I looked at its markings. I was not keen on having poisonous spiders laying about and this one did come with a warning.

Just a couple of days earlier I had noticed all kinds of spider webs popping up in the garden with beautiful big webs. I looked up orb spider because I remember Samson talking about orb spiders in the garden one day. Well, sure enough it was an orb weaver. And it is holding true that spiders that make pretty webs are pretty harmless. This orb weaver is harmless but will bite  if provoked. This is just saying she is not looking for a fight but will defend herself if she has to. The bite is not terrible but you might want to avoid provoking her.

I stopped shaking the glass now so as not to piss her off.  Here is a great site with some very interesting facts about this spider that looks like Charlotte  from Charlotte’s web.  She has the cute little bangs in the front and eyes all a glow.  Amazing web making ability. How about alternating sticky line with non-sticky line. Silk web strong enough to net some birds.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orb-weaver_spider.

Once I got a little movement out of her I turned her loose in the honeysuckle vine right outside the front door.  She didn’t go very far either. Next morning there she was right above the front door, tucked under the eaves.

Setting up housekeeping

Not that the web isn’t  interesting enough but I will be reading between the lines and looking for a message from my dear Charlotte. Is that a ‘p’ I see just on the left there?

Here are some more great pictures and info on Orb weaver spiders.  http://tinyurl.com/4m3w26

For years I had been considering knitting the Charlotte’s Web shawl, but never could commit. Then I saw Turtlegirl76’s at Sock Summit and I (as well as some of the Chicago Group) all suddenly had to knit it.

After just a few days I’m already on the 3rd color. The pattern in the book Knits from a Painter’s Palette is not the easiest to follow, but with a little concentration I figured out what I needed to do. I’m usually a die hard chart knitter, but the chart in the book is frankly one of the hardest to read that I’ve ever seen so I’ve found following the written instructions for the 8 row repeat the best. I’m also using the chart provided by this blogger to keep track of rows and color changes (the excel file is on the right hand column of her blog).

I’m knitting the shawl with Blue Moon Fiber Arts Socks that Rock in Lightweight. So far the colors I’ve used are Stonewash, Peaseblossom, and Never on Sunday. This project seems to move very quickly for lace as it’s so fun to see what the next set of colors will look like.

Madagascar golden orb spider (Nephila madagascariensis) Photo by Rhett A. Butler

Followers of this blog might have noticed that the Molecule of the Week (MotW) feature took a summerish hiatus. I’ve decided to expand the feature to include interesting materials, which are often more complex mixtures, either of synthetic or naturally-made compounds. So, I’m adding Material of the Week (MatotW in blogospheric shorthand) to help round out the idea.

This week, a material near and dear to my Webby heart: spider silk.

The American Museum of Natural History in New York is now displaying a length of cloth made entirely from Madagascar golden orb spider silk . At a half million dollar price tag and requiring 1 million spiders, this is the fabric of kings (maybe even Louis XIV) and involves some some serious production snags (See the NY Times or Wired Science for more on those issues).

The silks are made of structural proteins, chains of amino acid building blocks, that in different combinations do the work of living systems and make up other sorts of animal fibers such as hair. The animals use different combinations for different purposes: making webs, catching prey, building nests, or wooing a mate, notes Cheryl Hayashi’s UC Riverside website. (She studies these materials and garnered a MacArthur grant in 2007 for her work).

istockphoto/Taho_H

I’m already making plans to go see the spider silk fabric (and still trying to imagine lining up spiders in harnesses to produce it– quite the mental image). But spider silk reminds me of how much we humans can learn from our fellow inhabitants on this planet. Sure, the military and industry might find all sorts of uses for these threads from armor to moorings. But in this moment I’m simply awed by the natural engineering process and its outcome — a spider hanging from a single super-strong thread, spinning a lacy net to catch prey, and a few dew drops.

Reflecting E.B. White’s words back on Charlotte: “Some Web.”

In addition to NCTC’s popular touring program, the theatre will be producing fall and spring plays this season. These productions are a response to the demand we’ve had for non-musical, non-touring productions that will allow more kids to be involved with less of a time commitment. Each of the plays will perform in Newington for one weekend only.

Auditions for the children’s classic, Charlotte’s Web, will be held on Thursday, September 24, 2009 from 6:00 p.m. until 9:00 p.m.  Callback auditions will be scheduled if necessary on Saturday, September 26. The production will be presented December 4, 5 and 6, 2009 for four performances.

Based on the 1952 classic work by E.B. White, which the Children’s Literature Association named “the best American children’s book of the past two hundred years,” this enchanting adaptation by award-winning playwright Joseph Robinette captures the original story in a thrilling theatrical presentation. All the characters are here: Wilbur, the irresistible young pig; Fern, the loving girl who understands the animals; Templeton, the gluttonous rat who does an occasional good deed; the Zuckermans and Arables; the residents of the barn cellar; and, most of all, the extraordinary spider, Charlotte, who proves to be both “a true friend and a good writer.” The NCTC production will be directed by Jill Luberto, who is new to NCTC but comes with years of experience working with children in theatre.

Auditions are open to ages 9 to 14. No prior experience is required, and auditions are open to children from any town. Both males and females are encouraged to audition.  No prepared monologue is required, but those auditioning will be asked to read from the play.  Comfortable clothing and sneakers should be worn. To schedule an audition, call (860) 666-NCTC (6282). Pre-scheduled auditions are preferred, but walk-ins also are welcomed. Students age 13 and up may also call with interest in stage crew and technical positions.  For more details, please visit the theatre’s website at www.nctcarts.org.

I’ve been thinking a lot about children’s books lately, and here’s why: one of my classmates is pregnant with a baby girl and will be having a baby shower in a few weeks, and all the guests have been asked to bring a book for the new arrival. Isn’t that a wonderful idea? I think every baby should come into the world with a library already begun! Anyway, in deciding what book to bring to the shower, I’ve started thinking about what books I liked as a kid and what books I’d want my kids to read.  My husband and I still aren’t sure we want kids, but, if we decide we do, here, in no particular order, are some books and authors I’d read them or encourage them to read for themselves:

1. The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams: This is probably my favorite children’s book of all time. I still read it myself sometimes! I would definitely read this to my kids, and I’d make sure they had the edition with the the beautiful William Nicholson illustrations.

2. The Sneetches by Dr. Seuss: Dr. Seuss is, of course, a genius, and I imagine I’d read my kids many of his books.  But this one is for sure.  It teaches kids the importance of respecting and valuing people who are different than they are, and it does so in the most inventive way imaginable!

3. The Amelia Bedelia books by Peggy Parish: I loved these books as a kid!  They were so fun, and I think they taught me, among other things, the tremendous joy of word games since it’s always a verbal misunderstanding that trip up the lovable Amelia Bedelia.

4. Shel Silverstein’s books: There’s no doubt in my mind that I would read my kids just about everything Shel Silverstein wrote–Where the Sidewalk Ends, A Light in the Attic, Falling Up, The Giving Tree, The Missing Piece, and the list could go on.  Shel Silverstein’s poems and stories are so fun and yet profound, and his line drawings are always clever! I think these books would be a good introduction to the fun and meaningfulness of poetry and art.

5. The Bible: Whatever you believe about God and religion, you can’t deny that kids simply won’t understand Western civilization unless they know the Bible.  I intend for my kids to know their Bibles very well.

6. The Iliad and The Odyssey by Homer: Like the Bible, though in a different way, The Iliad and The Odyssey are foundational texts in Western civilization you’ve got to know to be an educated person.  Besides, they’re just fun stories!  I still remember the first time my dad told me the story of the Trojan horse–I was fascinated.

7. Charlotte’s Web by E. B. White: Charlotte’s Web is one of the cutest, best-told stories I know.  E. B. White, the author of the classic The Elements of Style, is the master of good writing, and I think every kid should learn from his storytelling flair.

8. The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson: I used to read this book every Christmas, and it’s probably my favorite holiday tale.  It’s hard not to fall in love with the Herdmans and their antics and get sucked into the story!  I think this is a good book for teaching kids the true importance of the holidays too.

9. The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis: I grew up on these books and wouldn’t hear of not bringing my kids up with them.  The stories are just so mesmerizing, and they teach good lessons.  And hey, maybe if or when I have kids, all the movies will be out too!

10. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle: L’Engle’s books are some of the biggest reasons I decided to become an English major and study the interaction of religion and literature.  Her stories are so powerful.  I wouldn’t let my kids miss them for the world.

11. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson: This was an immensely meaningful book for me when I first read it in the sixth grade, and I immediately went out and read all the rest of Paterson’s books.  I like that Paterson takes the tragedies and emotions kids experience seriously and, while not intruding on their childish innocence, gives them the dignity of adults.

12. The Harry Potter books by J. K. Rowling: I’ve actually just recently finished reading the last of this series, and I loved it.  These books are a lot better than I expected them to be–they’re so clever and well-told, and they teach kids about friendship, trust, and courage. A kid’s must-read!

Actor Henry Gibson has passed away at the age of 73.

Depending on your age, Gibson was one of those actors whose face you knew well, though you couldn’t remember his name.  For my generation and older, you could probably remember a few of the reasons you knew his face.  If you’re younger, maybe not.  But you would still know his face.

I have all the respect in the world for actors who can make a full-time career of their art, in particular those like Gibson who never become household names but manage to be as successful as anyone.  If you have a moment, check out his credits at IMDB.  I guarantee you’ll be impressed.

If I were a little bit older, he would probably be best known to me as part of the motley bunch of comics on “Laugh In.”  The three roles I most associate with Gibson, however, are a creepy guy he played on an old episode of “Wonder Woman,” the Nazi guy from “Blues Brothers,” and the voice of Wilbur the pig in “Charlotte’s Web.”  He was great in everything he did.

Thanks for all the wonderful memories Mr. Gibson.

Read more LATINO LIKE ME.

I said I was going to try to do better. I actually tried to do a posting yesterday but wordpress wouldn’t come up on my computer. I needed a break yesterday. I had started working on Calculus II at 10:30 am and at 7 pm last night, I was still working on it. There were only 20 questions in the exercise but at the end of the night, there were still 5 that I could not figure out how to solve. I agree with hubby when he says that more than 5 hours is too much to spend on one lesson but we are talking about college level Calculus II.

 I emailed the professor last night and told her that I spent over 16 hours on this one lesson and that I was still having problems and that I needed her help because I have to take the test on Friday. She did respond and gave me the examples in the book to look at for those particular questions. She also gave me her home number to call her in the evenings to discuss the problems. That is SO helpful. I will try to work through the sections again on my own in the next 2 days and then give her a call on Thursday if I’m still having problems.

 I’ve put Geometry on hold until I can get to the library and find some books on theorems and proofs. The thing I hate about my Geometry class, which I’m sure I’ve already said, is that it goes under the assumption that I just got out of high school geometry last semester.

 The writing class is going okay. I have to read Charlotte’s Web for the class and dissect it. Glad that it’s a children’s book and that it doesn’t take long to read it. I’m almost finished with it. The second reading assignment for this class is a really long one. Only someone who doesn’t have a full time job and have a family can complete it in one week. I started it the last week of August and I’m still trying to get it completed. I haven’t even started on the other assignments for this class for week 2.

But I look at it like this, if I work on all classes a little bit and make sure I work on something every day, then I’ll be able to finish on time without any stress at the end because I procrastinated. I want to finish the majority before November because I really want to participate in NaNoWriMo this year. I didn’t do it last year but there was good reason for that. I had a lot of personal stress in my life back then. But this year, things are looking pretty good.

The home search has been put on hold. Need to get some things in order. Also, need to save up for a down payment. Just found out that they don’t do “no money down” loans any more. So we have to come up with at least 3.5% for a down payment. For the size house we’re looking for, that’s at least $10K. So things are going to be tight for us for a while so we can save up but it will be well worth it in the end.

Pudds is doing really well so far in the 4^th grade. She was a little worried about it in the beginning but I think things are turning out good for her. It makes it easier when you already know all the kids in the class and their teacher is excellent. I really like her and her style of teaching.

I’m not quite sure how Pumpkins is doing. It doesn’t seem like they’ve done any school work yet. LOL I’m sure they’ll start next week. They had a middle school leadership camping trip last week and this week they are only in school for 3 days. When you’re barely in school, it makes it difficult to do any class work.

I need to start looking into high school scholarships for her. They are having a high school information session at the end of the month. I also need to look into applying for NCHS. But the only thing with that is that I don’t want to pay for school. That’s the main purpose of us buying another house and moving.

Okay, I need to get back to work. I have a lot to accomplish today. Until next time, and I hope it’s not two weeks later.

Braedan and I just finished Charlotte’s Web, keeping us up much later on the night before the first day of school than I should have allowed. I warned him yesterday that the ending would make me cry, an idea that fascinated him all day, as he waited with breath equally baited for the end of the story and for a glimpse at his mother’s tears. “I’ve seen you cry before,” he announced, which surprised me because I’ve cried many times in his presence. “When?” I asked thinking he would refer to that day on the couch when Mark and I told him Austin’s cancer was back.

“When we watched the video of that spaceship exploding on the computer,” he said instead, recalling a YouTube tape of the Challenger explosion. I don’t remember why we watched that together, maybe it was when the last shuttle took off and he wanted to know why it was such a big deal, but it obviously made an impression on him. Or maybe it was just my crying that left the impression.

He also announced that Pam cried when she read Charlotte’s Web. “Pam?” I asked, confused. He was talking about the mother of his friend, the one little boy from his preschool who happens to be in his kindergarten class. Last Saturday, at the Kindergarten Popsicle Party, Braedan must have mentioned that we were reading Charlotte’s Web and this boy’s response must have been, “Oh, my mom cried when we read that.” Not “How about that rat eating all the leftover food at the Fair?” Or not even “I love that book! I wish I could spin a web.” No, simply that his mother had cried. Maybe the book plays such a significant role in the lives of children for that reason alone . . . because they get to witness grown-ups crying!

Anyway, we made it through, not without tears, and now he is asleep (I hope) and I am off to pack his lunch. The seasons pass, the circle of life continues, “the ice will melt in the pasture pond” and tomorrow morning, my first baby will be a big boy.

Many years ago when driving through a very small town in northern Ontario while on vacation with friends, we passed a gift shop called Charlotte’s Web. I have no idea what goods the little store offered and only a vague recollection of its location, but I’ve always remembered the name because as a child I loved the book Charlotte’s Web and reread it regularly. For over twenty years I’ve assumed that the shop owner’s name was Charlotte and imagined a charming store interior overflowing with unique and lovely giftware, an image based solely on my affection for the book the store was named after.

During my recent vacation, I attempted to take note of any interesting names or company mottos that struck me as clever or funny or memorable. My observation is that there wasn’t a lot to observe. My jottings didn’t fill the small piece of notepaper I kept folded in my camera case, partly because the establishments at Trump’s Taj Mahal hotel in Atlantic City have names that couldn’t be any simpler. The floral boutique is called Stem and the accessories store Accents. There are restaurants called Plate and Burger, and the candy store is called … wait for it … Candy. Located down the boardwalk is IT’SUGAR. Candy stores don’t have to worry about using fancy names to attract customers. After extensive research (keeping a bowl of candy on my desk at the office) I can confidently report that people have a sixth sense about sugar. If there are sweets within a mile of them, they’ll sniff them out. I guess that kudos should go to the owner of Nuts About You for adding a few superfluous words to the store’s name.

IT'SUGAR - The elephant in the photo is made of hundreds of thousands of jelly beans.

The most interesting restaurant names I saw in our travels were Salad Too Grill, One Fish, Two Fish and a fondue restaurant called The Melting Pot – dip into something different. The bar/bistro on The Avenue of the Arts across the street from the University of the Arts in Philadelphia is named Standing O.

I also like the drycleaners called My-T-Fine Cleaners.

Manicurists are highly susceptible to state the obviousitis. Under the name of the shop on one window it said “We like to do your nails.” That’s reassuring. Do you suppose they’re making a dig at someone? Sure, you can go to the competition and have your nails done, but they won’t like doing them!

On the shop window in another town it said “specializing in long and short nails”. I would think that covers it, but I’ve never been to a manicurist – is there such a thing as medium nails?

As we sped by one building we just caught the words “we buy the old”. Hopefully they’re referring to people’s old books and household trinkets and not their grandparents.

For the sake of my research, I would have been willing to stay on vacation and carry on with my observations but, sadly, holiday time is over.

It’s a paradox. I hate them, but I appreciate them in their complexity and even splendor.. ahem, as long as they’re not in the same room with me or ON me, or under the same roof altogether.

Spiders.

I mean, I do think they’re remarkable creatures from which science can learn amazing things, but… at the same time I don’t particularly find them beautiful, nor welcomed in my house! Needless to say, I can’t and wouldn’t even kill one, but then what?? I’d “gently” call a friend or family in my craze and ask them to “gently” remove the spider from my vicinity. Obviously, many do kill the spider. And then I almost feel guilty, because I think of Charlotte, the children’s book about a friendly spider and how this particular Charlotte has managed to create a great name for the specie in the eyes of children, or adults.

Oh, but I still don’t want to see them around ME, in the house, dangling and building their cobwebs. There’s plenty of room outside in the “wilderness”.

Therefore, no spiders for me, please!

Savage Chickens - Chicken Spiders

show openings

All My Sons - TimeLine Theatre

The Darkest Pit - Prop Thtr

Texas Sheen - Chemically Imbalanced Theater

The Thin Man - City Lit Theater

Under Milkwood - Caffeine Theatre

show closings

Aladdin - Chicago Shakespeare Theatre

The Arabian Nights - Lookingglass Theatre (read our review)

Boys Life - Hangar 9 Theatre

Charlotte’s Web - Theatre-Hikes

Deal, New Deal - Greenhouse Theater Center

Draft - Gorilla Tango Theatre

Dual Duel - ComedySportz

Frankenmatt - The Second City etc

Idiot Tango - Annoyance Theatre

Improv Children of the Corn 2 - Cornservatory

Improv Open Mic - ComedySportz

Lies & Liars - Theatre Seven of Chicago (read our review)

Misanthrope, or the Impossible Lovers - Vintage Theater Collective

My Fair Lady - Light Opera Works (read our review)

The People in Your Neighborhood - ComedySportz

Six Degrees of Separation - Eclipse Theatre (read our review)

Yellow - Gorilla Tango Theatre