It’s easy to laugh at cheaters.  There’s a whole television series that, under their namesake, sends out armies of detectives and camera crews to catch them at their most venerable moments.  Two brothers from Alabama on the “Jerry Springer Show” finding out that they’re in a bizarre love triangle with a shared cousin is always amusing.  But beyond the spectacles there’s a real human side to it.  One of someone’s trust being lost.  Of deceit and lying from a partner. 

Recently Tiger Woods has been under the public’s microscope after 14 alleged mistresses (and counting) have confessed that they slept with the billionaire.  His wife, Elin Woods, has left him behind for Christmas and gone back to her native Sweden with their kids.

When there’s so much to lose with such little to gain- is it really worth it?

In the past month I can relate to poor ol’ Elin.  Through unforeseen and unexpected circumstances I discovered that my partner was cheating on me as well.  And like her, I never suspected a thing or felt I had reason to.

There are moments in life when an event is so unimaginable that it just takes our breath away and we’re left speechless.  A baby being born or a tragedy of immense scale.  Allowing the moment for your mind to absorb that the one you love and respect doesn’t feel the same way is also one.

There’s no words- but uncontrollable emotions that take over- anger, sadness, guilt, shame, and regret.

There’s a feeling of being an inadequate boyfriend if your partner is missing something they need and had to look elsewhere.  Not only were they not satisfied, but they were also not comfortable enough to try to improve things in the relationship or confident enough to speak of the issues.  It leaves the impression of being not only a sub par boyfriend, but also an unapproachable one.  Ouch!

Relationships are built on trust and that bond is not only broken, but is vaporised at this point.  But sometimes it’s worth salvaging and putting the wreckage back  together.  Other times there’s not enough Elmer’s glue in the world that’ll do the trick.

Several years ago I tried out for MTV’’s “The Real World” and the sole question they asked during the audition was what I consider to be cheating.  Each relationship is different….. and the rules can vary with each one.  “Anything that your partner would disapprove of” was my final answer (oops…..wrong show.  No wonder they didn’t pick me!)

The moral of the story is to respect your partner, whether you’re in an open relationship or a monogamous one.  After all, there’s a lot to lose and a cheater will never prosper.

Cheaters fucking suck.  Today my brother came over and he started telling me something that turned my stomach.  A certain pastor of a certain church is cheating on his certain wife with a certain someone I happen to know.  The worst people in the world known to cheat are Christians.  It goes throughout time.  I can’t include Catholic Priests since they aren’t allowed to marry.  Look at Jimmy Swaggart, Ted Haggard and Jim Bakker.  It didn’t surprise me when I heard this.  It’s disgusting.  Cheaters should be given The Head Crusher, The Thumbscrew Torture, Foot-Roasted, and finally, Burned at the Stake.  Cheaters are selfish narcissists who lie and steal.  They not only destroy themselves, but everyone within arms-length of them.  Cheaters are evil beasts of the field who don’t walk upright like normal humans, and sometimes even walk on all fours.  They smell of rotten eggs and machine oil.  They sneak.  They have no integrity, and no honest words are ever uttered out of their mouths.  They can never be trusted.  Cheaters should be abolished from humanity and into caves where they can live naked and talk to rocks all day.

Fuck them, fuck the parents who had them, fuck the parents of the parents who had them, fuck the ground they walked over, fuck the bus they rode in on, and fuck anyone who feels sorry for them.  Cheaters have no excuse or justification for what they do.  They are worst than shoplifters, thieves, and even murderers.  They aren’t even worth the corn in my shit.

There was a time when being the “other woman” seemed mysterious, exciting and alluring.

It doesn’t seem that way now.

Living in a marriage that was DOA with a man colder than cold , it was nice having the attention and affection of another man.

It was wonderful being wanted and feeling like someone was interested in what I had to say and how I felt.

Going on 15 years I have lived a lie. Not all consecutive as I was to learn, my lover has a habit of collecting other, “others”.  During those collecting periods, I am all but forgotten. Of course the standard line during those times is, “I’ve just been so busy”, or “I lost track of time”, “I got involved”.

One thing I know is that when you really love someone, you aren’t too busy for them.

I’ve made many excuses for him over the years thus giving him my permission to continue lying and using me as a doormat for his shallow ego.

Thinking back on it all, people must think I am stupid and crazy. And, I feel that way.

I could be one of Hundreds of thousands of men around Australia, live alone – employed in decent job – divorced now going on near 10 yrs – Part time Dad to 2 teenage boys(they grow so quick soon to be men too soon) – Part time single man seeking Love and Friendship.

My depression started not long after I separated and eventually got the statement of divorced processed. I initially looked upon this event as me losing my then wife, now my mind-set is we married young (my god I was a virgin TRUE) so as we grew up from young teens we grew apart and our ideas of what life was about and how to live it change. I now no longer think of that as a loss but a mere parting of ways and my depression I believe was not inflamed by this. Instead it was the loss of my position in the world I came from a family that mum and dad were together till dad passed away. I thought to be a man in this world you

• Go to work and work hard
• got a job with a position and title to show my career successes
• should marry the woman you love
• treat her as your princess
• buy her all she cared for
• protect her
• buy a house
• buy a couple of dogs
• do it hard renovate get a picket fence
• buy a sporty family SS Commodore
• share the home duties
• keep working hard get the promotions
• have children boy and a girl far out kicked the goal
• be a caring and loving proud dad
• buy a Tarago
• keep working hard more hours away from the family and home

My god the perfect family………..
I am a Success…..

In one 24hr period it was gone
This is the core of my darkness, a feeling of uselessness your now a part-time  dad Failed stamped on forehead, awkwardness as you have no mould that fits you now, an incredible loss of your children- to only see your children for 50 odd days a year is a nightmare for any parent of either sex. I do find that the women I have met and there has been around 8 in my life have all been extremely sympathetic and understanding of my constant quest to gain more time with my Boys, however when they were a single parent they would act and react to there X the same way as my boy’s mother – now there is a whole other topic.

One last note about my marriage the split was unfortunate how ever when your wife has found a man a decade your junior muscle-bound and a local footy hero and any suggestion of marriage counselling is blocked by your wife well maybe the couple of nights I thought I was going to be spending on my brothers couch might be a bit more permanent now. Truthfully it has taken over 5yrs for me to accept it get over it bury it deep, deep down inside and hide it, Lol just kidding but 5yrs was a long time for me.

Mental health and My Depression from experiences over the past few months.

Nearly 9yrs now of being tricked into that horrible dark place.

Finally less than 4 months ago I went to the doctor. (ok I’m a guy an avg guy like I said 1 of 100, 000 who are all taking a decade or possible never seeking help – bloody scary stuff really)
Damn I was so low my relationship that had so many twists and turns was like a Melrose place crossed with Magnum PI TV show, the tears that I shed for near on 2 months, I was talking about ending things, living in the top unit 3 levels up facing down to a beautiful paved courtyard the pattern is impregnated on my iris’. Spending time arguing with myself home alone, total silence just my occasional outburst where I could no longer keep the tears on low flow, I had not been this low before.

In the past I had

• hidden away from the world
• perfected the ability to survive with minimal contact in any way including verbal
• Even cried openly in public – I thought you couldn’t go much worse

Before I continue I am not looking for your sympathy this is not an entry about poor old me. The opposite applies, if you’re the only person that every reads this and you relate in any way please read on as Life is good, I want to share why and how.

Shit scared at medical centre

I walk in tears flowing looking like my entire family had just been massacred. The Doc was incredible
“hey Matt sit here grab a tissue “
” take your time” he buzz’s front counter tells them he is not to be disturbed.

??? Shit hang on this guy seem like he wants to actually hear what I have to say BUT – it hurts too much to talk about it. Just run.
My mind is going off running off in so many directions, chest pain panic sets in, the tears flow. How do I get out of this?
“Matt don’t worry”
” here do you think you could fill in this simple form”
Ok if I can get out of here.

I keep crying say nothing and take the form and pen. Doc tells me about this form and how he will use it to help assess my current situation. Funny enough concentrating on that form and listening to the doc, the tears went to shut down and I found I distracted to tell him about my concerns. Now I went in there thinking fuck I can beat this myself I have done it so many times I don’t really need anyone’s help specially a doctor and then drugs. I had to go for 2 reasons I have children and they would be devastated if I did jump – it had become a regular daily and nightly event to walk to my balcony lean over the railing and think about what if?

So even with this attitude I knew I need help Plus my partner who had suffered depression was so supportive and hung in there with me, had been begging me to get help for a while now but guess what?. I did not think I was depressed – sound familiar- it’s a tricky master if you let it.

I was actually a bit stunned 9yrs to get help, this guy is saying these tablets will help you with your depression in a few weeks but you MUST keep taking them. I am thinking about the end this sounds heaps better than being dead, OK let’s do it.

There is a bit more to what we talked about.
I walked out around an hour after walking in (that’s why the doc always makes me wait he gives a shit about his patients)

In my hand he had given me

• a mental health plan
• a script for anti depressant
• literature on depression including net links to helpful info

In my mind he had given me hope that I now had some one who was going to help me and give me the tools to break this. I still was a bit suss on the tablets but took them because I was sure I had to.

Wait if you are depressed and low and you will know if your thinking “WHAT IF” about the “END”.

GO to your Doctor If you do nothing else this week turn up to your appointment with your GP. WHY ?
2 weeks and 2 days I woke and caught myself singing love songs about my partner. ? Far out from then on things in my life seemed easier. I was taking my dose and the prescribed anti-depressant had kicked in. I found I could get up every morning at 5am do my paperwork and get ready be out the door and at work on time or early – my job was under control and had even kicked a couple of goals. My ability to communicate had returned and I was allowing my self to be happier than I had been in a long time.

Life is just starting to kick along well but as the Doc said they wont fix why you got depressed.

A constant cause of hurt

My partner and I, a woman I held in very high regard were on a crash course of pain. Our relationship was in cannibal mode and eating itself.

I hear you “what was up with this relationship” I know you need a bit more here goes
She was separated for 2 and half years when we met out at a club. But he was still sharing the house because she was not looking for a relationship just friend’s and it was great for the kids that they lived under 1 roof but  separately. Told you twist and ready turn. I then started not liking this because I was not allowed near her when he was around and was never allowed to meet him?

I thought she’s lying.

Problem!

I truly have never felt love I feel for her. So normally if someone is lying to me I would just walk away but I couldn’t.

I started fighting verbally with her and argued all the time. She was saying he knows about you and can’t split yet because property prices and house not ready – true. But I was hidden.

So now I am on anti depressant and not crying and starting to feeling good but problem was same. I lost it and rang the husband, caused her much pain and started not trusting her or believing a word she said. Since then I have met him on his door step was not a nice meeting and I planned it. My partner at that point told him that she loved me and had no love for him, and he knew that she had not for a long time. He said nothing just shrank away. Only other contact he called me and told me he was sleeping with her and they were properly married and I am only meant to be a friend to her no sex.

I won’t venture any further into my relationship there are many more twists and turns, not she was ever found to be a liar no matter what I did.
I felt so good I stopped the Tablets… I was fine for a few days but not that fine after a week. I didn’t go back to my prior depressed state I now was even worse. After visiting the shrink I am back on the pills and away from the cause of pain. LG.

Changes I am seeing

Now this is the shit I just wanted the above as an over view of how I was acting and my perceptions.

The fact is I had become aggressive and acting like a martyr. This is the issue internally I thought of how I portrayed my self to people over the past 7 to 8 years is not a true reflection of how people perceived me.
By chance whilst coming out of depression on tabs, I realised why I am having so many issues with people I love. My partner was always saying your mean, your saying mean things when I was trying to explain to her how I felt about our relationship, I don’t like the idea of cutting another mans grass.

So few days a go I am talking to a long time very close friend and business partner, money looked o be missing, I was not angry at him but he started saying all the same things as my partner. She kept telling me I can hear her saying the same things in hundreds of different ways, I thought she thought I was a bit dumb cause I knew what she was saying but she was wrong.

Nope she was right here was a long time close friend some one I have always respected parroting my partners concerns, but I am thinking I am coming across as laid back but passionate about what I am saying certainly no aggression to him.

Holly shit for the best part of my life I have been thinking a come across as a placid guy yet at times people think I am trying to control them be aggressive or angry or mean to them, can you imagine the penny dropping then the complete WHAT DA. I have asked those around me to alert me to when I seem to be acting like a prick and to just ask me if I am trying to be mean. I am looking at my tone of voice my mannerisms my general body language even my appearance. In the last 2 days I have spent time talking to people and enjoying it for the first time in a long while. How long have I been doing this???
Once again this is not the only issue that haunts me at the moment. But life has seriously never looked so bright and I have started to plan and dream of the good things in life. I have found a better way.

Yep I got help – no shame.

A thought to remember
“The mind is amazing and how we think and perceive events, our selves, others, our communities and the world in general, is how we determine our own destiny.”

Ripped Matt – 12/2009

short quote but one to live by:
” Life is a garden. Dig It”

Joe Dirt (funny movie) but how true

…………………………………………………………………..

I plan on continuing my constant chatter, if anyone has read this and relate please check out my next entry about the noticeable changes in myself and my life with and with out anti depressant

Thank You and GO to your GP get help or even visit deppressionnet.com.au I have no affiliation and its 100% free Govt funded site to help not to take $$$$ check it out or Google “government help depression” in your country, stop hurting start living.

Life is meant to be enjoyable.

Cheers Ripped Matt.

both sites are 100% FREE – I HAVE NO AFFILIATION

www.beyondblue.org.au

www.moodgym.anu.edu.au

Y’all know me. I love celebrity gossip. I know all the arguments against it. There are so much more important things going on the world! The media is just preying on people’s misfortunes! But I’ll tell you what: anyone who ever watches TV, period, is doing the exact same thing. And people latch onto this stuff for the same reason they latch onto TV — the things that are happening in the “real world” we live in are too depressing and too far out of reach. People need a break from war, and if we can get it from douche bags, we will take it. It’s not preying on misfortune. Exploiting truly unfortunate people happens daily in the media, with the likes of Maury Povich and any number of sad shows like “Wife Swap.” Celebrity gossip is like finding the tragedy in their good fortune. It reminds us that despite how perfectly wonderful and carefree their existences may seem, they are flawed people too, and all the riches in the world can’t make you be a good person. Although it makes being a bad person a lot more fun until you get caught.

So I’m not here to tell everyone to leave Tiger alone or to go back to worrying about real problems like not being able to afford all your Christmas presents this year or wondering how much longer they’re going to keep renewing your unemployment benefits. Let’s face it — the likelihood of that happening is far greater than those of you actually finding a job.

I’m actually here today to say I’m disappointed with the lack of moral judgment happening in the media. Not because I”m in favor of judging people, but because that is what the media does best, day in and day out, and they have totally missed out on a truly monumentous opportunity to figuratively STONE Tiger with his Scarlet Letter — in HD.

Case in point: Saturday Night Live. As far as I’m concerned, the value of that show lies mainly in their ability to snarkily crucify public figures without discrimination. They don’t always succeed at that, but at least they are willing to poke fun at every sitting U.S. President for the last 35 years. That may be one of the truest exercises in democracy this country ever sees.

SNL seriously disappointed me with their take on the Tiger Woods scandal. I’ve heard some damn good Tiger jokes on Facebook in the last couple weeks, and these people get paid inordinate amounts of money to write good jokes, and THIS crap about the PGA Tour is the best they can come up with?

Please. And THIS crap on Weekend Update about the latest ho?

Let me tell you something. Those fifty (or whatever the number is now) girls might be skanky whores, but they are not nearly as dumb as you think. In fact, they are the only ones in the whole situation who are going to gain money and fame, and they knew that when they slept with a celebrity. Hello, that is why they did it. All this talk about “Tiger never used a condom?” It’s NOT LIKE the women didn’t have a say in the matter! Love child, anyone? Portion of the millions, anyone? This is, after all, a country where we’ve been brainwashed to think it doesn’t matter what (or who) you do, as long as you get rich and famous for it.

We’ve all made mistakes in life. We’ve all done things we aren’t proud of. But I have to say that Tiger’s “transgressions” go way beyond “mistake.” It’s a lifestyle choice. You slip up one time? That’s a mistake. He’s just a douche who got caught and now he’s sorry. Yeah, NOW he’s sorry. Actually maybe not so much — he’s still sexting the whores.

You can count me on Team Elin — even if she is a Swedish former model and has millions. I hope she has a good lawyer. I’m sure Tiger’s money is paying for one. Before you start judging me, I will say that I have been a cheater and I have also been cheated on. Neither is fun. But it’s a whole lot less fun to be the scorned party in the situation. And there should be consequences for actions. Those consequences should vary depending on the circumstances and the situation. I think Elin should get half of everything he has, with an additional million for each ho bag he tapped for emotional damages, and an extra $5 million per ho bag for the emotional damages inflicted upon his children, which won’t even surface for many years.

With all the money he’s got, will his career ever be ruined, even if he loses all his endorsements? Probably not. So what real punishment is there? Losing a wife he obviously couldn’t give a crap about in the first place and admitted to regretting marrying? Maybe being prevented from spending as much time with his kids, assuming he cares about that.

But as far as I can tell, he is a typical male, directed by his penis and selfish. Want to prove me wrong? Bring it. Trust me, I’ve been hoping this wasn’t the case for 30 years now. I’ve yet to be convinced.

Why do you have to cheat? I know that you do that, because you want to get high       scores in your  exams, to have  the sex your wives could not give to you (for married couples) and so on. But really why? why should you make cheating as a resort to achieve what you want? How dare you cheat during exams, while you know that there are people who are being true themselves and are answering the questions  seriously; how dare you cheat, while you know that your wife is waiting for you at home and has prepared you food. It really irritates me to see someone cheating that it comes to the point that I think of beating them up on their way home. I could  not of course do that. It’s uncivilized, and it would just make me worse than them. Moreover, I am sensitive to everyone’s feelings, this is why I could not tell them (my classmates I see cheating during quizzes) that they are wrong either.  There is a monster within me that always wants to be unleashed whenever I see cheaters doing their thing. Then again, I always control it. I just think that sooner or later all of you cheaters will have what is due to you.  You are all unfair! Surely, justice will come to you sooner.

One of the forms of cheating that I truly hate is what I call “cheaters’ discussion.” This form occurs during exams, and I always notice it. My ears are quite sharp during exams. I hear them, and even glance to make sure if they are really talking to each other. And alas! Confirmed! They are really sharing their answers. I want to beat them, crush them, hang them, quarter them; but I couldn’t. Why should I? I don’t want to lay my hands with these cheaters. Even what they are doing is a terrible betrayal of trust, I must not put justice in to my own hand. Nature has its own ways of correcting errors, and God has His own ways of punishing evil doers.

At least, at the end of the day, I know that my answers are from my own, and my conscience is clean. Thus, to all cheaters, unless you repent, you shall always be haunted by your conscience; there’s no hiding.

1. Never bother to reply to his call or text
2. Call him names every time that he makes mistakes
3. Nagged him when he arrives late on a date or any scheduled meeting
4. Accuse him of seeing another woman
5. Stop him from going out with his friends
6. Badmouth his parents, friends and previous girl friends
7. Don’t give him credit for his romantic efforts
8. Underestimate his achievements and puff up his failures
9. Once in while, mention your future plans that involves only yourself
10. And lastly, you must have a tough, insensitive heart to follow all of these mean advices.

Facebook is quickly becoming popular amongst all age groups. Even the elderly are getting in on the fun. Facebook had previously been utilized by only the most computer literate and internet savvy of people (aka the young). However, today, individuals who only three years prior would have rather thrown their computer out the window than learn how to turn it on,  are blowing up the Book.

A brief history of Facebook:

The  first to settle into the social networking world were young people in their teens and early twenties. Immediately, they made Facebook their virtual drug of choice. They used it as a way to stay constantly connected to friends, enemies and all those in between. No longer did they have to wonder how Morgan, the captain of the high school soccer team was spending her freshman year in college. All a person had to do was search Morgan’s name and WALA, her profile would appear. A friend request could then be sent and if she approved, a person would be privy to Morgan’s new alcoholic life and be witness to the freshman 50 she put on in less than 2 months. Facebook also quickly became the best way to find ex-boyfriends/girlfriends and  see if he/she had a new fatter or crazier significant other. Maybe then you’d find that he or she was still pining after you after all these years via the status update… “(Name) misses his ex. Oh Joleen, you still complete me. Why must I be so inferior to your beauty and brains. Woe is me…”  Overall, Facebook quickily became the ultimate way to reconnect with people you’d rather forget about and cyber-stalk those who you just can’t shake from your head.

So here are only SOME of the reasons why Facebook is the GREATEST invention since Mountain Dew:

•  Facebook  offers its users a chance to create a new or improved identity. If you are a 15-year-old girl who is desperately counting down the years until your 18^th birthday, you can bypass Mother Nature with the click of your mouse. You can be any age you want to be on Facebook. Older men are notorious for lying about their ages. However, they fail to realize that if  they post pics of their 31-year-old daughter, women are usually smart enough to figure out that these men are not 39  years old.
• If you are overweight, you can just post pictures of skinny people and tag them as yourself. Or you can post pics from a thinner time in your life (for example - infancy) and claim that they are current pictures of you. And of course there is always the  magic of Photoshop. This helps to revise pics of yourself for all to see and envy. Whiten those teeth, cut off half those thunder thighs, erase that double chin and add implants to that chest.  Personally, I am a fan of this option, but I try not to use it excessively. I’ve only Photoshopped 997 of my 1,005 pics; however, don’t go searching for those UN-Photoshopped pics of me because they are set to private.
• If you were embarrassed to have dropped out of college or high school, no worries, simply pick a college and a year of graduation and no one is the wiser. However, keep your school of choice within reason. Listing yourself as Summa Cum Laude from Collumbyah may reveal your lie.

•  Facebook allows you to be creative with your job title.

1. Unemployed? I prefer Entrepreneur.
2. Stripper? I prefer Professional Lap Warmer.
3. Trash Collector? I prefer Antique Dealer.
4. Crystal Meth Dealer? I prefer Pharmacology Student.
5. Porn Star? i prefer Sex Therapist.
6. Dishwasher? I prefer make-up artist in Hollywood.
7. Secretary? I prefer Assistant Regional Manager.

• Facebook is also great if you don’t have a lot of friends in real life because you can make up for it with virtual friendships. All you have to do is send out nonstop friend requests to acquaintances and strangers alike to create an allusion of  popularity and love. However, show some discretion – 2,345 friends is creepy and makes you seem like that guy who only goes out on Friday and Saturday nights so that he can tell people, “FACEBOOK ME!”
• Facebook saves lives and offers a reason to live. How many times have we all heard people on the edge who are about to end it all and then realize, “OMG! I forgot to harvest my farm on Farmville! I guess I got to live. LOL!”
• Facebook allows you a forum to brag about yourself via the infamous FaceBRAG. Despite it’s obvious douchiness, it’s far better to brag on Facebook than real life because you can’t see everyone’s eyes rolling. Common things to FaceBRAG about:

1. “Look at my dog. Isn’t he the cutest thing since Siamese babies.”
2. “Look at me, I only eat lettuce and visit the gym 7 times a day. I’m so much better than you.”
3. “Look at me, I only eat organic and volunteer feeding the elderly apple sauce.”
4. “Look at me, I’ve never been to jail.”
5. “Look at me, all my hair is real.”
6. “Look at me, I think I’m funny and write a blog. Watch my videos and pay attention to me.” - ultimate douche!
7. “Look at me, my car costs more than your life.”
8. “Look at me, I have a spouse/significant other who doesn’t cheat on me!”

So thank you Facebook for enriching our lives and giving us a reason to get up each morning.

Facebook reasons for why this picture exists:

1. Cuz she likes to DRANK and wants the world to know it.
2. Cuz it would make a good profile pic. Duh!
3. Cuz her boyfriend FaceCHEATED and she needed to forget it all.
4. Cuz her friends secretly hate her.
5. Cuz she dates a guy who drives a crotch rocket and updates his status 22 times a day.
6. Cuz she wants to scare her Grandma off Facebook.

Perhaps I’m a little behind on commenting on the whole Tiger Woods cheating on his wife thing with not only one… but two…three…fuck it, A LOT of women.  As it’s turned out, not a day passes, not a single day, where a seriously skanky looking woman doesn’t confess that she too has partaken in the Tiger Pounce.

THIS SAID, the general public seems to have lost count and interest in the women the Tiger has been bedding.  A quick glance at yahoo.com’s top 10 search will show that all we care about is one person, the only hottie in the slew of women we’ve seen linked to the Woods, his wife –Elin Nordegren.

I guess that the four people who still use Yahoo must have had the same conversation below, which resulted in Mrs. Woods taking the top spot.

“Bro, did you hear that Tiger Woods slept with like, the entire world?”

“Seriously? That’s fucked up…isn’t he married or something?”

“Yeah, she is SMOKING hot too!!!”

“Ya? go to Yahoo – immediately.”

The soon-to-be single Elin Nordegen.

Couldn’t get through it, y’all.  Apologies for my lack of discipline.

I was actually bummed at how much I didn’t like this movie, because I love musicals and Jennifer Hudson.  But I’ve come to realize I really dislike the way lots of contemporary movie musicals are staged.  In the olden days it was totally acceptable for a character to be walking down the street eating a sandwich and suddenly burst into song, possibly inspiring passers-by to harmonize with him/her and coordinate their dance moves.  I always thought this convention worked just fine.  Of course it’s unrealistic, but most of us go into a musical knowing we’re going to have to suspend reality a bit.  Unfortunately, the movie musicals I’ve seen that came out in the last ten years seem to shy away from this approach, for whatever reason.  The musical numbers only happen in dream sequences or flashbacks or in the context of a character’s musical career (i.e. everyone in the scene is experiencing it AS a musical number).  To me, this hybrid approach feels forced and uncomfortable, since it paradoxically draws attention to itself way more than a standard musical, where the songs flow seamlessly in and out of the rest of the movie.  I also felt like it made the plot drag (hence my inability to get through it), since every song requires some sort of departure from the action of the movie.

I hasten to add that all the directing strategies I’m complaining about probably work great on a stage, and that the songs are all fantastic.  Go see it on Broadway if you’re so inclined, but the movie is miss-able.

So this morning I am writing to express my ire with a particularly new song that EVERYONE seems to love. I’ve provided the lyrics for your view:

It Kills Me

Oh yeahh I’ve got trouble with my friends
Trouble in my life
Problems when you don’t come home at night
But when you do you always start a fight

But I cant be alone , I need you to come on home
I know you messing around, but who the hell else is gonna hold me down
Ooooh I gotta be out my mind to think it’s gonna work this time
A part of me wants to leave, but the other side still believes

And it kills me to know how much I really love you
So much I wanna ooh hoo ohh to you hoo hoo
Should I grab his cell, call this chic up
Start some shhhh then hang up

Or should I be a lady
Oohh maybe cause I wanna have his babies
Ohh yah yahh cause I don’t wanna be alone
I don’t need to be on my own

But I love this man
But some things I just can’t stand ohhhh
Ive gotta be out my mind
To think its gonna work this time

A part of me wants to leave but the other half still believes
and it kills me to know how much I really love you
So much I wanna oohh hoo ohhh, to you hoo hooo Should I pay him back to see how he’ll react ,to see if he’ll React to my love, my love
Oohh I’ve gotta be out my mind

To think it’s gonna work this time Oohh a part of me wants to leave but the other half still believes
and it kills me to know how much I really love you so much I wanna oohh hoo to you hoo hoo

Now I know you’re all saying “what’s wrong with it? Its just a song… All women think or go through something like that.” You’re right, it is just a song created to sell and all or most women do think/go through this. They also have a freewill in this matter so, I’ll try to keep my condemnation of this sista, the songwriter and the other women who actually have this momentary insanity to a minimum.

Analysis:
The issue here… is the this chick has apparently invested TIME into this ‘NOTHING ASS NIGGA’ and now this charming fellow (said with EXTREME sarcasm) has thrown all the love and time she’s provided to him out the door to mess around with another woman (or more). Another issue that could have developed is an unreasonable fear of being alone. After all… who would want to stay with someone who’s cheating? Odds are really good they’re going to keep doing it.

Ugh!!! Irritation here!

But I cant be alone , I need you to come on home
I know you messing around, but who the hell else is gonna hold me down

You CAN be alone at least until you find a BETTER man…. and who’s going to hold you down? He’s NOT holding you down he’s RUINING your life. Someone else can hold you down much better than this nothing ass nigga can, but you won’t find that out… dontcha wanna know why…

Oh look… here it is:

Oohh maybe cause I wanna have his babies
Ohh yeah yeahh cause I don’t wanna be alone

You actually want to have offsprings with this man? Are you serious!? Now don’t get me wrong there are men that actually take care of their kids despite the issues that surrounded the relationship in question with the child(ren)’s mother… However statistically, single parenting is the NORM of today. Ladies, just because you have his kid doesn’t mean he’s suddenly going to A) have a change of heart and become a faithful Christian man perfect for your little family or B) stay. In fact I’m confident he’s going to get the hell out of there because now… you’re trying to trap him.

Or how about what you should do here:

Should I grab his cell, call this chic up
Start some shhhh then hang up

No you should not. Lets say the woman doesn’t KNOW he has another woman and that she… is the piece on the side (highly doubtful…) You’re going to call her up, pissed off because your idiot man (who clearly DOES NOT want to be yours) is cheating on you with HER. Now you’re cussing at this woman acting like some ignorant ghetto mess when she probably didn’t even know anything about it in the first place. But there’s a positive side… hopefully the result of your “ghetto tirade” with this woman will result in an end to their relationship… that’s great… only because now your ‘man’ has free time to find another unsuspecting lady to attempt his cheating aspirations with but you know… he’s going to be smarter about this one… You probably won’t figure out he’s cheating until he slips up again… o.O *wonder how long that will take*

Lets say the woman does know… you’ve called you’re pissed and cussing… and in the end she’s laughing at your ignorant ass because she’s got a piece of your man that he’s not giving to you. So… my guess is… he’s going to carry on with her and she’s going to allow him to do so…  until, she decides she’s tired of being the ‘piece on the side’ and wants to be the ‘main dish.’ Which I assure you will cause him to A) actually leave YOU, the ‘filet mignon,’ for the ‘buffalo wings’ he thought would be better, or B) haul ass right out the door away from the ‘piece on the side.’ In any case, this will be come a different song entirely. Does Jasmine Sullivan ring a bell? (whether the window buster is yourself or the ’sideline’ someone’s going to damage his whip in crazed anger)

Your best bet is to talk to him about it face-to-face… after you’ve calmed down enough to not want to kill HIM.  In-person communication is effective because you can gain loads of information about the person you’re talking with.  The words that would be coming out of his mouth might not be what his body language and actions are telling you.   “I’m sorry” and “I love you” seem a bit more sincere when the person is looking you in the eyes.  Fidgets can also be telling.  If he’s fidgeting while apologizing and making an effort to look you in the eyes to tell you how sorry he is… it’s likely this is his first attempt at cheating and he’s ashamed of what he’s done. In this case, you might be able to work it out.  But, don’t think this relationship won’t need serious damage control.  The forecast will be loss of trust, “check up on it” (as Beyonce would say), nearly fanatical need for contact, and last but not least arguments about what he’s done (and oh yes it will come up again at least once, no matter how hard you try to forgive and forget).

If he’s cool and calmly looking you in the eyes telling you he’s sorry, he loves you, he won’t do it again… he might mean it… but ummm… it could also be… that he’s an old hat at this cheating thing and he knows exactly what to say and how to act to keep you around. Whatcha got there is a Casanova… the polite term of a ‘nothing ass nigga.’

I’m mad irritated with this song. There’s some poor young lady going through this… and she’s listening to this song and likely thinking exactly this.  So here’s my advice to you ladies… Just because you love him… doesn’t mean he loves you (even if he SAYS he does) because if he DID love you this whole cheating thing wouldn’t even be an issue.  Your best bet is to cut ties with him before it gets out of hand or you actually do… have a child.  There’s some man out there that will treat you appropriately and he won’t cheat or lie.

-_- @ that song

So I took my car to Wal-Mart service center this morning because it was acting funny. When I got there I explained the problem and the technician told me it sounded like I needed to have my tires balanced and rotated. So after taking a look at it the technician confirmed that yes I needed to have the balance and rotation. I told him it was cool and I went inside the store to look around get a snack and wait for the car to be repaired. After about an hour the technician looked in the window of the waiting room and gave me the big thumbs up that everything was cool. I paid the cashier for the service which also included an extra $10.00 for free rotation and balancing for the life of the car. Half way into my drive to work I notice the car was still acting funny so after work I took it back. One of the technicians told me, “oh you need an alignment and oh yeah we don’t do those here.” Excuse me? How are you going to have a tire center and not do alignments? So I politely asked him to tell me why was it that they took my money and did a half service? And the manager admitted to me that some of the guys working there are inexperienced and they are not real mechanics. What??? How are they going to employ incompetent people who know nothing about car repair?  This is a hot ass mess!! So I told him look I paid for this and I need someone to look at my car. He then went over and talked with another fucktard and came back to tell me basically they had no need to look at it a second time because they were sure it needed alignment. I told all of them that they were cheating and scamming me out of my money and  I told him that I would be sure to call the coporate office and report all of their asses. I got all of their names and I am shutting them down Moday and I am pushing for a refund.  Don’t go to Wal-Mart service center unless you want your car screwed up. Dirty Fuckers!

Former Gold Medal Olympian Calvin Harrison...currently homeless

Calvin Harrison (born January 20, 1974) was a former Olympic gold medalist, famously winning the 4×400 relay with his twin brother Alvin, and legendary sprinter Michael Johnson, at the 2000 Summer Olympic games that were held in Sydney,Australia.  At the 2000 Olympics, Alvin Harrison and Calvin Harrison made history by becoming the first twins ever to compete and win Olympic gold medals together on the same relay team since the inception of the modern Olympic Games.

In fact ,Calvin Harrison  ran the third leg of the 4×400 meter relay, eventually handing the baton off to Michael Johnson for the gold.

After those great Olympics, Calvin and Alvin were the toast of the town, as they were celebrated for being the champions that they are. America consistently loves our gold medal winners, and all the riches that go along with that prestigious title, were bestowed upon them.

The brothers, who had been homeless for a time while growing up, as well as when they attended college, had a compelling story to tell about believing in yourself, and overcoming insurmountable odds to achieve success.

They wrote a book entitled ”Go to Your Destiny”, which debuted on the Oprah Winfrey Show in 2001, and is a very inspirational tome that is designed to motivate people to achieve their success, even if the current situation appears to be impossible to overcome. http://www.amazon.com/Go-Your-Destiny-Alvin-Harrison/dp/0786867884

I read it, and I can attest to the fact that it is an awesome story that is the hallmark of American success.

This is why the news concerning Calvin’s current homelessness is distressing.

Local San Diego news is reporting that Calvin Harrison is broke and homeless living on the streets of San Diego with his wife and 5 children. To be accurate, they are currently living in a homeless shelter, after being on the streets.

Watch video report here- http://www.webcastr.com/videos/news/gold-medal-olympian-now-homeless.html

Luckily for them, after sleeping on the streets, they were able to get accepted into a homeless shelter that allows families to stay together,which many do not. Calvin’s youngest child is just 5 months old.

Calvin’s current dilemma started with him testing positive for a banned stimulant in 2004, which got him a two-year suspension from track and field events, and he also had to return all of his medals and prize money he won from the events that he tested positive in.

He also was stripped of the Olympic gold medal from the Sydney Olympic, when it was discovered that a team-mate on the relay team, Antonio Pettigrew, admitted to taking banned steroids to assist him in the competition. The whole team was asked to return the medals, but Calvin gave his to his father.All of the other members of that relay team returned their medals, even though none of them had taken steroids.

Calvin subsequently spent his whole life’s savings on a failed legal battle to clear his name, which he lost. He was not allowed to compete in the 2004 Olympic games in Athens, Greece due to the suspension, and in turn, lost the ability to make a living doing what he knows best, and that is track and field.

Ironically, the substance that he was banned for taking, is no longer on the illegal substance list, since it is a common ingredient in over the counter cough medications.

Calvin, faced with mounting bills, a wife, and children to support, did what men do, and that is going to work.

He traveled the country working in construction jobs, and eventually landed a steady job as a personal trainer at a gym in Arizona, that supported him at the level to pay his rent and to feed his family.

Due to the recession, he was laid off from that job,…and like many Americans today, he was unable to pay his rent, and soon found his family evicted and on the street.

They moved to San Diego in the hopes of finding steady employment, but soon found out that it is as bad in California as it is in Arizona.

Calvin  made the following statement to NBC San Diego…”I’m in a position now where I do need to ask, and I’m not afraid of the pride being in the way,” Harrison said. “Before I was. I didn’t want to ask, wanted to do it on my own, but I’m in a position now where I do need some help.”

To read the full story about Calvin’s dilemma, click on this link to NBC San Diego… http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/sports/Gold-Medal-Olympian-Now-Homeless-79007597.html

This is a hard story to report on, because there are so many people who are in this position because of the recession that never had the opportunities that Calvin had, even though he had a challenging time to get there, but I do not have all the facts about his case, and it is not my place to judge his actions.

I am certain that Calvin would make different choices in retrospect, we all could say that, but now he has to deal with the future.The future for his wife and minor children rest on what he is able to do next.

His wife Charlotte made this statement in reference to their future…”I’m just hoping for an awesome job and to be able to get a house,” Charlotte said. “I know it’s big hopes, but we’re just dreaming of a house and a place for our kids to grow up in.”

I do not know what type of marketable skills the two of them have outside of the track and field game, but if they do get assistance, hopefully they will get help with some job training so they can develop some marketable skills that will support their family in the long run.

If you are able to help, and want to help Calvin and his family, they are currently living at the YWCA Cortez Hill shelter in San Diego. The contact information for the shelter is:

I hope it all works out for Calvin and his family, as well as all the other Americans that find themselves in need of assistance from their fellow-man.

Happy Holidays…

For more information on Calvin and this story, click on these sources…

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calvin_Harrison

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/12/11/former-olympic-gold-medal_n_389106.html

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2004/08/03/SPGOP81HVQ1.DTL

Hey Tiger . . . GET THAT SHIT TOGETHER DUDE!!!!

But in the meantime, you are GOOD for jokes right now!!

This is a bit old- but it was where the ending of my last relationship began…

……obviously i have survived the ending of this relationship but i have been left with many deep emotional and physical scars, when something is unhealthy don’t live in it for the good times! the bad always out weighs the good (in these cases at least)