…

In my defense, I was almost psychotic at the time.

“Psychosis is a loss of contact with reality, usually including false beliefs about what is taking place or who one is (delusions) and seeing or hearing things that aren’t there (hallucinations)”.

I guess I wasn’t psychotic at all – because there were things going on. The fact that my boyfriend was a complete ass and couldn’t keep his hands off other women had driven me to crazy town. So maybe I wasn’t psychotic, but I was - without a doubt – insane. At least temporarily. My diagnosis seemed to improve when I finally dumped the loser. But while I was with him, I was insane.

.

adjective

1.

not sane; not of sound mind; mentally deranged.

 

When I look back to the three years I spent with him, I don’t understand why I let things go so far. I didn’t even love him that much. Is is sick to think that a big part of it was about winning? About getting things under control? Because that’s what I think it was. Looking back, I was trying to get him to love me and that if I could manage that somehow, everything would be okay.

Mario was a giant turd. His most redeeming quality was his hair, so that should tell you something. He sure could talk a girl up though. It wasn’t that he was so smooth – he didn’t have the best pick-up lines or operator moves, but he did listen to every word that came out of your mouth. His level of attention had an intensity that was intoxicating. He’d make you feel like you were the only girl in the room. His eyes were right on you the whole time. He laughed at your jokes, asked insightful questions. He was skilled at making a girl feel heard, desired, and special. That is, until you were his actual girlfriend. Then all those things went out the window.

You’d think ex-girlfriends giving me warnings would’ve tipped me off. Though, he was brilliant in his own defense, “She’s still hung up on me…I’m trying to be decent about it. She still loves me, but I don’t love her – I don’t know that I ever did. So what can I do? I can’t blame her, I’m trying to be the bigger person and let it go. She can talk trash about me, but I’ll shoulder it, because after all – it was my fault – I did hurt her on some level. “

I don’t know why I bought it, but I did. Maybe on some screwed up level I was trying to hurt myself. Maybe I thought I didn’t deserve better, but it wasn’t conscious. I just felt like he was a good guy, and she was some lunatic. In fact, all his ex’s were lunatics. When I made note of it, he was sheepish. I don’t always pick women who are good for me, he confessed. I bought that too.

Let’s just say this could be a very long post if I got into all the details of that horrid three-year relationship, but let’s stay on topic and get back to cat fights.

Her name was Nicki, and she was at the same college as both me and Mario. She wasn’t in the arts – she enrolled in business or something boring like that. All I know is her breaks were different from ours, and she ended up spending time in the cafe talking it up with my boyfriend.

To be honest, I wasn’t worried about it. Not to sound like a complete B-otch, but she wasn’t anything to worry about. She was sort of dorky and plain, and more than that - she was boring. She was quiet and mousy. She didn’t do much other than stare at him while he talked, which is I guess why I should’ve been worried all along. It wasn’t like I didn’t know her. Her best friend was in the arts and so she hung around a lot. She came to the same pub-nights, and showed up at the same parties. She was always there, in her little sweater sets and curly mud-brown hair, smiling pleasantly enough. She was actually super-nice to me. She’d always comment on my clothes or my hair, and she’d squeak in on conversations I was having. She seemed harmless. I felt like she was trying to impress me a little, maybe be my friend. I had enough friends, and harsh as it may be – she wasn’t really my type of person. But I was nice back. Not overly nice, not come hang out with me all weekend or let’s do each other’s hair type of nice, but nice enough. I’d smile, I’d chat, I’d compliment the odd thing. She had a great pair of keds that I liked.

How could I have guessed that little shorty would be getting it on with my boyfriend? When I started to get that feeling, that tiny bit of knowing inside, and confronted him about it, he laughed.

“You think I’d go for that? You don’t think much of yourself do you?” He said. “That’s your competition? She’s a dog.”

He got me. Me and my big ego. Fact is, I didn’t think she was my competition. She was short and dumpy and yes, I thought she was a bit of a dog. Why would he go to her when he could be with me? It didn’t make sense to my egocentric self and so I bought it, hook, line and sinker.

When I finally got proof – in a letter I found while snooping in his coat pocket – I decided to stake them out at work. (they worked at the same mall, which is where things went down…rides after work, a little ding-a-dang-dong in the back seat, etc.). Like a B-rated movie, I waited behind pillars and watched as they went for coffee breaks, tittering and giggling and acting like newlyweds (which they weren’t), or like cheating lovers (which they were). I don’t know why I didn’t just walk up and confront them. It would have ended months of misery. I could have walked up, called them out, ended it and moved on. But I didn’t do that.

I spent weeks “gathering evidence” while going completely mad. I was out of my mind jealous. I’d try to catch them doing more than flirting, doing more than giggling, but beyond the letter proclaiming lust and the pathetic coffee break moments, I was coming up with nothing more a bad gut feeling. He was clever. He almost always had an alibi. He stuck with the story that she was a little dork who needed rides home and that I was a nut-job for thinking something was going on. Somehow, the mix of losing complete control and his convincing me I was crazy had worked its way into a rage and I went loco.

I decided to confront Nicki. I called her out of class – interrupted class actually – opened the door right up, and asked the professor just a politely as could be if I could please speak to Nicki. By the time the door was shut, her hair was in my hands and I’d got two or three shots on her face already.

It got awful and intense because I was raging and she just didn’t fight back. She just held her hands up and tried to keep the blows from hitting her. It wasn’t just the fists flying, no. I hurled venom with threats of violence and demeaning blows about her worth – or worthlessness. It’s safe to say it’s probably one of the things I’m most ashamed of. I’d like to say it ranked number one on the list, but sadly – I have other competitors for top billing in the shame department.

I didn’t break up with him after that. It was another year, 3 more girls (of which I knew about but did not assault), and another string of events that led to the final straw. When I did break up with Mario and had time to think about the mess of the whole thing, I apologized to Nicki. It was well over a year since my fury had met her in the hall, but she was still afraid of me – which was a horrible feeling. For a decent person driven to the brink of crazy, it was a fitting punishment. Truly, I should have been charged, but I’m really glad that didn’t happen. It was the only time I ever laid my hands on someone in violence, and it was an ugly day. I did try to explain to her that I was out of my mind at that time, and that I was out of control, but I could tell that she thought I was still that person. And I guess I deserved that, because it was me that day…just different.

I don’t know why I felt it was easier to hurt another person – someone smaller and weaker to boot – than it would’ve been to just cut my losses and ditch that loser Mario who was the ring leader of my crazy-town parade. Now that I’m so far from it, it’s hard to comprehend. But I do know I’ll never lay blame on a woman for taking my man. If he leaves the loyalty of my side, he’s chosen himself to go. And I’ll never lay my fist on someone again, because years later I can still feel the sting of it. I can’t change it or erase it, or go back and make it better. But it will never happen again; because I’m not that same person…I am me.

One summer, I was living away from home because things were just getting ridiculous. Close friends were driving me crazy, boy troubles were over the top, and I just really needed some time away from it all. I spent four months in this “foreign” city and had an unbelievable summer. I had work to do, money to spare, and had a group of great friends, so life was kind of amazing. I was somewhat single, although there was a guy in the picture. He was a lot more in to it than I was, and for that reason, he never became my boyfriend, despite how great of a guy he was. Anyways, one day I got a text message from an unknown number, though the area code showed that it was from the city I lived in before the summer. The sender of the text basically warned me that my boyfriend is actually her boyfriend, and pleaded for me to stop ruining their year long relationship, with horrible English. And by horrible, I don’t mean vulgar, I actually mean a disgrace to English language in terms of spelling and grammar. But to be fair, I don’t think she is from an English speaking country because she mixed a lot of foreign language in the text.

The first thought in my head was simply …w.t..f…., and despite the craziness of the text, I responded. I patiently texted back saying she must have gotten the wrong number because for the first time, I don’t have a boyfriend. And then I wished her luck.

Her reply was something like this: NO YOU HORRIBLE BITCH, I TRACKED DOWN YOUR PHONE NUMBER FROM HIS CELLPHONE AND IT HAS TO BE YOU. HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO RUIN SOMEONE ELSE’S GOOD THING.

So I said something along the line of: seriously, wrong number. You are wasting your time talking to me, because I really am not with your boyfriend. Why don’t you give me your boyfriend’s number so I can actually check if I really know the guy, or better yet, confront him yourself. I really wish I could help you, but I have no clue who you or your boyfriend is.

I don’t really remember what her reply was, but it was pretty much her convincing me that what she is saying is true, though if I was with someone else’s boyfriend I would know. I even checked with the guy I was seeing if this was his girlfriend, then I checked back to like, my past three boyfriends to see if they knew this girl. Nope, nothing.

Eventually she stopped texting, much to my disappointment. I hope she dumped the cheating boyfriend’s sorry ass.

Before anyone gets upset with me, I want it on the record that the very first line of the book is John’s idea! If you know John Locke’s work, you’ll understand! Personally, I thought the opening was a bit extreme, and not really quite the way I talk, but John says

“You’ve got to grab their attention with the first sentence!”

–And boy, his first sentence certainly does that! LOL! Anyway, if it offends you, please keep reading, because that’s really just an attention getter!

Love to all,

Dani

1 – Follow Them

Following a cheating spouse is one of the easiest ways to catch them in the act. What you will want to do is choose your time wisely. For example, choose to follow your husband or wife when they say they are going out with friends or working late.

If you do decide to follow your husband or wife, be careful when doing so. The last thing that you want is to get caught. If you do, you may be the one who is, in turn, put in the hot seat. Also, be sure to not put yourself in any potentially dangerous situations.

2 – Hire a Private Investigator

Hiring a private investigator is a nice and easy way to catch a cheating spouse. For many men and women, it is also a much safer approach. What you will need to do is provide an investigator with information about your spouse, such as pictures, their description, where they work, as well as their daily schedule. Your private investigator should follow your husband or wife to get the proof that you need.

The only downside to using the services of a private investigator to catch a cheating husband or wife is that you must pay for those services. However, many find the costs well worth it. If you are looking to get divorced, the pictures or video that your private investigator gets may prove to be very valuable to you.

3 – Check Their Cell Phones

Since many cheating husbands and wives do not want to get caught, many do not use their home phones, instead they rely on the use of a cell phone. If your husband or wife has a cell phone, try to get a hold of it. Most cell phones keep accurate records, including information on text messages received, pictures received, phone calls received, and phone calls dialed. You do see anything suspicious?

In addition to checking the cell phone itself, consider looking at the bill. Did you know that some cell phone companies itemize the phone numbers and messages that are received? In fact, you may have the option to do so. If you are married, you may be able to change the format of your cell phone bill to include this important and revealing information.

4 – The Internet

When looking to use the internet to catch a cheating spouse, you have a number of different options. For starters, you can use it as a research tool. You can research additional ways to catch a cheating spouse, learn common signs that cheaters show, mistakes that they make, and so forth. You can also use the internet to help you find a private investigator.

The internet can also be used to catch your cheating spouse in action. In fact, the internet makes it easier for people to cheat; therefore, many choose to do so online. Examine the history of your computer. Is it filled with pornographic websites, dating websites, or social networking websites? In fact, has the history to your computer recently been cleared?

5 – Keep Your Eyes and Ears Open

Finally, it is important to keep your eyes and ears open. In fact, doing so is one of the easiest ways to find a cheating spouse. If your husband or wife is brave or daring, they may flaunt their affair right in front of you. Also, it is important to remember that people talk. Do you hear your friends or family members talking about your cheating partner? If so, it might be time to start listening.

If you are thinking to yourself “I want to have an affair.” beware of the consequences!

These days the concept of investigation has modified in very large extent. Now the private investigator does not have to follow the suspect everywhere due to the internet.The cheater will be caught before your eyes without much effort. The real face of your slicker husband can present before you by those agencies that are providing the largest data base of escorts. You can easily catch your husband if he is going to the escort with the help of these agencies.

You do not need to spoil your whole life not knowing the true character of your partner. You can easily know his Cell phone records. You might be surprised that this is possible. The answer is to match the calls with the number of escorts. There are lots of agencies that are providing the cell phone records. They match it with the cell numbers of escorts. Their whole process is very easy and authentic for knowing the reality of the partner. They have the database of the escorts which they prepare after assembling the ads. After that they match the call records of your husband with that database.

Through this process you can know that you are in the relationship with the cheating boyfriend or husband or not. It is up to you with what you decide on your relationship after confronting the truth. So if you’re determined for the verification of the relationship then turn to the best solution. Just go online and start surfing for these agencies. You will definitely get the success because of the availability of details on their websites. You can directly contact them and follow the procedure for starting the investigation.

Dealing with infidelity in a marriage is not something anyone looks forward to. But to not deal with it is even worse, leaving long lasting scars in your relationship. And the most damaging way of not dealing with the breach of trust is to only suspect, but not know for sure, if it even happened. That kind of suspicion is sure to poison what might otherwise be a redeemable relationship – or keep you bound in an unhappy marriage when really you would have wanted to break free.

To know the truth is to have the necessary tools to make good choices for yourself and your life.

CatchMyHusband.com is a service designed to help you achieve the facts you need to make the right decisions for your life. It is a gateway to all the sorts of private detective services you might need. Whether you decide to try to save your marriage or to end it, the full facts will help you make the right decisions regarding those difficult issues of property split, alimony, child custody – not to mention help steer you in the proper direction for whatever counseling you or you and your partner might seek.

CatchMyHusband.com provides access to advice, and to tools of investigation – such as private investigators and a vast database of professional sex workers’ numbers. The database allows you, or your lawyer, or the investigator you employ, to check your husbands’ calls against a country-wide database of millions of numbers of sex workers and escort agencies. This database is updated regularly and is also historical, which allows you to also access numbers that may have been temporary.

The truth will set you free. Allow yourself to find out the truth about what you suspect, and you may just find your peace of mind in the process. Empower yourself with information and facts, and you will be able to make the right decisions.

Modern technology may make infidelity easier, but it also makes catching it easier too. Use the tools at your disposal. Don’t let a cheating husband put your financial situation, your health, or your sanity in jeopardy. CatchYourHusband.com lets you be in charge of your marriage, your peace of mind, and your fate.

I read a fascinating article yesterday on re-framing relationships. A woman posted a question about an abusive ex-boyfriend who, in the past, was successful in manipulating and completely dominating her in the relationship. Now that they were no longer together, she has found her own strength of character and felt that she was no longer that girl whom he could easily manipulate as he used to in the past. But she had one concern; she was afraid that an upcoming engagement, which he was supposed to attend would be a repeat of his past behaviour and she didn’t know how to interact with him and not come off as the same person whose buttons were so easily pressed in the past. She wanted to show him that she was stronger and a new person.

A poster named D answered her very eloquently and offered her the approach of framing. He advised her to approach him as if they had just met since she was a new person and if he began to push her old familiar buttons to acknowledge the past, advise him that she is not interested in engaging in that behaviour then leaving his presence. In essence re-framing the relationship dynamics so that she is in charge and sets the pace of how he interacts with her from that moment forward. By acknowledging his attempts than rebuffing them she was showing him new behaviour that he was not expecting from her thus throwing him off-balance. Once he is successfully off-balance she re-frames the relationship by letting him know through her words (what she won’t tolerate) than her actions by walking away. It leaves the ex-boyfriend wondering if his actions were so bad that you have suddenly done an about-face and rejected him.

I read with anticipation and a light bulb went off in my head half way through his explanation because I realized I had done this with my ex when he contacted me in July to request a new friendship and apologize for his ratty behaviour back in May. I re-framed the relationship by rejecting his friendship and letting him know why (I gave you a chance based on who you were at that moment and you blew it I can’t, in good faith, allow you to do the same thing to me again-it’s just not in my best interest), than I let him know what my new actions were which was to walk away (I’m going to move on and be happy-I want to laugh and smile and enjoy my summer and my life because I have a lot to be happy about), I wished him well and told him Goodbye.

Than, suddenly my dream made sense. The reason I dreamt that he was at a distance, perplexed is because I re-framed the relationship and made it on my terms, than I walked away thus forcing him to look at himself and see the person that I saw him to be (a liar, cheater, totally undesirable for what I want in a man nor what I expected him to be) not who he wanted to see himself as (the good guy). Totally unexpected. I’m sure he braced himself for the possibility that I would reject his offer but I don’t think he expected me to re-frame the dynamics of it all. I think he expected me to be emotional and rake him over the coals for how he treated me in May (emotion was one of my predictable hot buttons) but I didn’t. I let him know why I didn’t want a friendship (the cheating, the childish behaviour afterwards) in a calm rational manner.

My only regret with my successful re-framing is his answer left the impression that he would be back and I didn’t completely reaffirm that the door was indeed closed when he replied “I’ll give you your space”. I don’t know why. Maybe I was feeling breathless for doing what I had imagined to do all along but didn’t have the courage to do. It’s as if the words rolled effortless off my brain and into my finger tips as I texted it all. I don’t know.

I plan to re-search re-framing a bit more and of course whatever I find I will share with you lovely ladies and gentleman. I know there are men who view my blog as well. I welcome everyone.

What are your thoughts on re-framing? Have you tried this and how did it work out for you?

Let me introduce myself.

I am Puppy. He is Dog.

You, I believe, are Gata. And we all know what dogs do to cats. They chase them. But what happens when they catch them?

He wasn’t always Dog. He was a lone wolf. That’s what he said. He wanted to be tamed though. He was just a puppy in wolves’ clothing, he told me. He wanted to change. He’d learned his lesson. This time it was different. It all sounds so ridiculous now, just a bunch of common cliches. Who would fall for that?

Me.

And you.

He swears Puppy was always his name for me. It wasn’t though. I know it wasn’t. He was Puppy first. My little dog – that’s what I called him. The wolf I had brought in from the wild. From now on he would be faithful, he promised me. I was the one who had changed him. Domesticated him. He didn’t want to be alone any more, he didn’t want to hurt anyone ever again.

I believed him.

Really. I did.

But like all puppies it didn’t take long before he grew into a Dog.

Felicidade

I will never forget the day I found out my former boyfriend was cheating on me. I was at the nail salon waiting for my acrylics to dry when the phone rang. It was him, and he said that he needed to talk. Immediately, I knew, “You cheated on me didn’t you?” He admitted that he did. I couldn’t stop crying, and got into the car. My nails weren’t dry and now they were messed up too.

I sped off to his house but by the time I got there he’d already spoken to the other girl and together they agreed on a bull shit story to tell me. He handed me the phone, “It was a special kiss,” she said to me. She being a girl I used to go to school with. She was from one of the poorest families in town. Sometimes I’d give her rides because she didn’t have a car. This is how she repays me? And as for the special kiss, that phrase was so corny, I don’t even think an older person long removed from modern slang would use it.

I being me, couldn’t let this rest. I did some digging, found the name of a mutual friend of theirs and gave him a call. Turns out my boyfriend, my ex friend, and the guy I was talking to and some other chick got a room at the local motel one night. Well, this was more like what I was expecting to hear. I was not at all surprised.

My boyfriend sometimes disappeared for a day or three. After breaking up with him, I actually had several people tell me they had no idea he was dating me because they saw him leave a bar or party with another girl or two. They apologized and said they would’ve told me had they any idea. One person even told me they saw him shooting heroine. I don’t know if that’s true but it made me really sick when I found out. I was young and stupid, and I loved him, I really really loved him. 

The real problem I was having now was the motel. I lived down the street from it and I would have to pass it anytime I left my house. Sometimes when I drove past it I would cry. Every time I drove past it, I felt like my stomach and heart had been ripped out of my body leaving a huge gaping hole. This went on for months.

Soon I found out that my ex friend, after doing her part to destroy my relationship, was still with her boyfriend, and somehow concealed the entire incident. I would not have this. I scoured the phone book and internet looking for her boyfriends phone number to no avail. I knew where he lived but wasn’t brazen enough to knock on his door. I did however drive by his house every time I went to work. Perhaps one day he would be outside and I could pull over and speak to him? No such luck.

Soon I forgot about my plans to avenge my heartbreak, until one day as I drove by his house, I noticed that his car was for sale. Quickly I wrote down the phone number on the for sale sign. You can guess what happened next. I called him but he didn’t seem very surprised, as we’ve established, she was clearly unchaste.

A few weeks went by, and then the unthinkable happened. One night when I was getting gas, I ran into the very angry ex friend when I went into the gas station to pay the cashier. She had spotted me from the parking lot and stormed in after me. She was practically foaming at the mouth as she shook in anger and also shook probably from her cocaine high. There are two things about this that stand out in my mind the most. She used to wear fake blue contact lenses to cover her brown eyes. I had to stifle laughter as she looked at me with one blue eye and one brown eye. She had to be high not to notice that one of her contacts was missing. Then when she lunged at me. Two kind gentlemen, a very tall and over weight white man, and a mid sized black man blocked her from jumping onto me. It was like an episode of Jerry Springer. I stood behind them as they tried to contain her and hold her back. In the struggle, the large white mans pants began to slowly creep down his legs revealing silk red boxer shorts. Again I had to stifle my laughter.

Finally she left. “Did you see her shaking?” The other man said, “That girl’s a pit bull!”

Years later on my way from from my newest romantic relationship that was beginning to crumble, I drove by the infamous motel. I couldn’t help but remember how painful it used to be for me to drive by it and how now, I could care less. After this thought passed through my mind, I began writing an article about it in my head and planning to post it on my blog. In the midst of this thought I almost slammed into a dog- no- it’s legs were to tall and stiff- a tiny baby deer- as it ran out into the middle of the road in front of me.

I was shaken and upset now, I drove further down the street and flashed my lights to the oncoming traffic, begging them to slow down, hoping the baby deer wasn’t too disoriented to make it to the other side of the road

Back when I was going out with my cheating ex boyfriend things were a real mess. He was abusive and controlling. It was horrible. My home life was equally shitty. I bounced between his home and mine like a ping pong ball, unsure of which was worse. Sometimes at night when I was crying about this or that I would see a shooting star or a gorgeous doe as I turned a corner on my drive home, but never before have I seen a baby deer, but I sensed almost hitting one was a bad omen if anything.

Not much more than a week later, I became increasingly fearful of my boyfriend. His temper was uncontrolable. He increasingly raged at me and inevitably became violent. On this day I was repping some products at a health food store. Between speaking with customers, I became wrapped up in my thoughts about him. How had someone who was so nice in the beginning become so mean? Suddenly a girl walked by me, her shirt, like a billboard with huge letters sent me a message I couldn’t ignore. It read “LOVE IS EVERYTHING.”  Finally I aknowledged that I didn’t love him anymore and perhaps I never had. Any positive feelings I had for him went out the window at least once a week when he would rage at me for no reason. Later that night he became increasingly stubborn and selfish. He refused to be there when I needed him. If he couldn’t be there for me in a crisis, what good was he? He was no good, and I will never look back because I finally realized, after everything I’d been through, that love is everything.

If you look at the slew of names I just mentioned, then you would be right in assuming that men are more likely than women to cheat. Well, according to a recent study on infidelity published in the journal Psychological Science, you’d be wrong. As it turns out, cheating has very little to do with gender, and everything to do with power.

Joris Lammers and his team of researchers conducted an anonymous Internet survey of 1,561 adults that asked questions about the intersections of power at work, confidence levels, and perception of risks associated with infidelity. Lammers found that “women in powerful positions are just as likely as men to cheat on their spouses, and the gender of powerful people made no difference.” The study offered some interesting explanations: to no surprise, there is a strong link between power and confidence, and the higher the confidence, the lower the person’s perceived risk of cheating becomes.

These finding have a number implications on the future. As more and more women continue to reach the same, if not higher, power positions as their male counterparts, there will be a major increase in devious behavior, like cheating, that has traditionally been associated with men. Is it only a matter of time before we start seeing some female names join the ranks of the politicians mentioned above? It’s scary thought, but a very realistic one.

5. Does his income keep on disappearing?

He keeps telling you that he is undertaking overtime but at the stop of the month, his overtime pay out doesn’t appear in your joint bank account. Is he splurging the income on an individual else? Or is he utilizing overtime as an excuse to go for a date?

6. Observe any improvements in dressing and enlargement of wardrobe?

When you stay with somebody for a couple of many years, you would have got utilized to their dressing patterns. Out of a sudden, he commences dressing to kill. He keeps acquiring new clothes that he has never proven any interest prior to. It can also be a gift from the mistress. Retain a note of this.

seven. Did you come across a mysterious cell mobile phone in the car?

If you located a cell telephone in his car that you have in no way witnessed prior to, verify the phone. It might be the cell cellphone that your husband is working with to call the other girl. It is the very difficult evidence to expose his wrongdoings. Even if you certainly not discover a cell cellphone, does he keeps obtaining calls from the “office”? Or does he lowers his voice and move to somewhere personal to remedy calls? These can be one more red flag.

There are additional popular symptoms to tell that your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you. The crucial factor is that you need to have to get tricky proof to expose them and I can assure you that it can be completed.

Stop pondering and guessing, acquire motion and be satisfied again!

Not all spouses cheat their mates for the exact same reason. A latest survey consequence has uncovered that males are far more most likely to betray their wives for sheer excitement whilst adult females cheat their husbands on emotional grounds. Females are often on the lookout of corporal validation. Infidelity is now looked upon as a cosmopolitan concern. But ever before bothered to tune your ideas and locate the good reason behind a cheating partner? Let’s find out…..

Boredom-

Researched to be a person of the prime good reasons of breaking marriages and circumstances infidelity, under no circumstances depart any space for the perception of monotony to dwell. Presented a possibility, boredom normally requires above a relationship quite easily therefore foremost partners to betray their spouses. Take your mate out on a romantic date with your husband or wife or make arrangements for an exclusive candle mild dinner. These varieties of versions operate wonders in great tuning the chemistry involving spouses.

Reduction of Affection and Attention-

So your husband or wife is into an extra-marital affair of which you came to know very lately. Properly, this is no motive at all to call your relationship quits just simply because of your spouse’s mischief, since you are as significantly accountable for this as your partner. Did you at any time realize the truth that with each and every passing day you’re veering your attention and affection off your husband or wife? Unquestionably not coz had you recognized the similar, this would certainly not had transpired. why spouses cheat, why spouses cheat, why spouses cheat

“

5+ Adorable Female Cartoons You May Love To Be …

“I know we all are pretty grownups, at least size-wise. We all loved cartoons in our early days. But … Don’t we still like them? I know we all have the secret fantasy to be one of them. If given a chance I would like to be……or……maybe……I cannot decide actually. So here is my list…

1. The Powerpuff Girls 

If I ever get a chance I would like to be Blossom in my kindergarten days – a little smarter, bossy, with sense of style and pretty in pink. Bubbles, cute, sugary in blue, and Buttercup, spicy, tough tomboy in green, are the other two obvious options to “Saving the world before bedtime.” So who is you dearest PPG?

2. Kim Possible

I must admit, in my high school days, Kim Possible was my role model- “Cheerleader by Day/ Crime Stopper by Night”. How extraordinary could life be? Super intelligent, graceful, tough, emotional, boyfriend issues………just like any teenager. I think we girls are just like her- balancing two or more apparently polar opposite roles  in life and looking stunning all the time. What do you say?

3. Wonder Woman

In my youth, I wished to be a lady with super powers and splendid beauty -“Wonder Woman.” She is my “super-heroine”, one who is strong and gorgeous. Not to forget her mission was to bring the Amazon ideals of love, peace and sexual equality — just like mine. I wanted her “Lasso of Truth” to unmask my cheating boyfriends!

4. Betty Boop

Now it is the time to pay tribute to Betty Boop – a legendary glamorous female cartoon star that has baby-like face, independent attitude, womanly charms and disarmingly innocent sexuality. All in one package is always a bargain! What do you say ladies?

5+. Disney Princesses

I really cannot choose between the Disney Princesses. Snow White, Cinderella, Ariel, Fa Mulan, Pocahontas, Jasmine, Rapunzel,Aurora, Belle, Jasmine, Tiana — all are adorable. Apart from being princess they are all gorgeous (not to mention their stunning dresses) and with a lover to slay 100 dragons at once for them only. I wish to be a Disney Princess in my next birth!

It is most probable that I missed your favourite here or maybe she is just right here. Who do you think is the better option than Kim – Daria or Veronica? Or it is impossible to replace Kim Possible? Who is the best homemaker of your choice-Wilma Flintstone and Betty Rubble or Lois Griffin or Jane Jetson? Please let me know. If given a chance which female cartoon character would you like to be? I am waiting……..”

P.S. I am waiting..

You’ve given all of yourself to somebody. You’ve got revealed your innermost ideas and feelings. You suppose your relationship is “special”, or that maybe… simply maybe… you have found the soul mate you have needed for thus long.

But the whiffs of anyone else’s perfume, or the “secret” cellular phone calls at odd hours, or the cold feeling when you’re intimate make you wonder.

Is he seeing someone else? Is she in anyone else’s arms over lunch? Is that this individual going behind your back like they do not care about you at all… like they’re simply using you? The actual query is easy strategies to catch a cheating spouse if yours is one amongst them too!

Most individuals have a nagging feeling that their partner is dishonest earlier than they really know. However cheating is more, (far more) than only a nagging feeling in your gut…

Cheating Could Be Killing You!

Cheating not solely destroys the relationship you thought you had, and makes you feel used, abused and thrown away. You’re in all probability feeling that way right now, and you don’t even know for sure yet whether or not it’s really going on.

What’s devastating about cheating is that it additionally kills your happiness, causes depression and nervousness, wreaks havoc together with your urge for food and sleep patterns, makes you feel like you’re ugly, or can’t measure up in the bed room and exposes you to much larger danger of sexually transmitted illness

All of that’s there as a outcome of your partner is being selfish and cruel. Cheating clearly is not a “harmless” game. It is harming you.

The only technique to cease it’s to know the way to catch a cheating spouse, as quickly as and for all, if it is actually occurring so you may put a cold, onerous halt to habits that is robbing you of the life you must have.

Uncover The Fact And Finish The Distress NOW!

Take the Cheater’s Guidelines to know when you have a purpose to be concerned. Why be anxious in case you can know whether or not or not you have to be? This infamous and amazingly accurate guidelines quantifies the chance of precise cheating and (that is one of the best part) reveals you areas of your life the place you should look for the manner to catch a cheating spouse. There is no guesswork here.

1. Discover the one elementary error each cheater (sure EVERY) makes. Once you recognize this, you do not have to doubt your instincts anymore. You will know with out the shadow of a doubt as to the right approach to catch a cheating spouse for certain.

2. Acknowledge the stable surprising clues. Ever hear that love is blind? Effectively, you probably can not afford to be blind when somebody is dishonest on you. You ought to know the greatest method to catch a cheating spouse if yours can ever be one among them. There are some apparent indicators of infidelity that folks always seem to ignore – sudden adjustments in dress or training habits (is he trying to look good for somebody else?), covert journey arrangements, perfume of cologne scent, and so on. Don’t overlook or deny these! Know them for yourself so you’ll have the ability to not miss them and fool yourself.

3. Study knowledgeable-level “cell phone sabotage” tactics. Is your associate getting strange cellular phone calls and performing suspicious by cutting calls brief? Does she or he delete all messages nervously and quickly? Know easy methods to hack into your partner’s cell phone name historical past, reverse the calls, and know exactly who she or he was speaking to. You will even know the greatest approach to get better deleted text messages and, thus, the best approach to catch a cheating spouse.

4. Master covert surveillance. You don’t need your companion to know you’re watching. Know the manner to catch a cheating spouse even when they’re not around. You may pinpoint infidelity in no time flat, even when your associate is working late, working unusual hours, or even out of city in one other city, state or country. You do not have to be a genius to do that, or have nerves of metal – you simply should know what to do.

5. Change into a human polygraph. That is right; you will be a nearly foolproof lie detector. You will come to know the greatest way to catch a cheating spouse via recognizing and understanding the uncontrollable unconscious cues that may expose your cheater for what they’re doing.

6. Uncover the nasty tricks your cheater might use to hide their trail. Oh, they’re sensible about it. They’ll try to cowl the paper trail of their indiscretions, but you do not have to let them get away with it. Use these simple methods to expose them.

7. Transform your self into an digital mastermind. Know exactly how you can become a genius at painlessly monitoring down e-mail passwords, credit card statements, telephone records, Internet browsing histories – the whole lot you need to have a documented evidence trail of cheating. And you will do it in full secrecy, with no chance of getting caught in your pursuit of find out how to catch a cheating spouse whether it is yours that’s one so.

8. Be a relentless bloodhound. If a cheater suspects you’re on the trail (hey, suspicion can go both ways), they will use every trick to throw you off the scent. When you read how one can catch a cheating spouse, you may never lose the trail again.

9. Expose the gaping holes in your sex life that shine a highlight on cheating. And I mean an actual highlight into learn how to catch a cheating spouse. You can know who they’ve most likely been cheating with, how lengthy it’s been occurring, and even why they started cheating within the first place. All while they do not know they’re telling you every hidden detail with a touch.

10. Uncover the most common and embarrassing mistake that would unravel your sleuthing. This might make your complete infidelity investigation of how one can catch a cheating spouse come apart at the seams. Know the approach to keep away from this totally, and prevent the one hundred% unnecessary frustration and embarrassment.

11. Unleash CSI Infidelity. Know tips on how to examine your accomplice’s house and personal effects to uncover any signs of cheating. You’ll know the way to catch a cheating spouse by looking offices, vehicles, submitting cabinets, rooms in your home, all with discretion and accuracy. Find the proof that could be proper underneath your nose with out triggering the slightest suspicion.

12. Be a thoughts reader. Not likely (this is not hocus-pocus), but do know the subconscious, unconscious cues each dishonest companion provides off. You will know the right manner to catch a cheating spouse by reading physique language and other verbal and nonverbal cues that reveal a lack of belief, and most definitely cheating. It is time to read your companion like a ebook that exhibits you within the clearest terms the manner to catch a cheating spouse that you’ve with you!

13. Know your accomplice’s gender specific cheating tactics. Make no mistake in your pursuit of the greatest manner to catch a cheating spouse by measuring both the genders alike. Men and women are VERY completely different in phrases of cheating. They think, really feel and even lie differently. Regardless of whether or not your partner is a person or a girl, you will know their innermost ideas and motives so you will never be fooled.

14. Take a crash course in Infidelity Recovery 101. As soon as you realize it, it is time to act. You’ll know the easiest way for how to catch a cheating spouse red-handed and confront them so you can get on the street to recovery fast. There are several ways to do this, primarily based on your character, and you may know simplest for who you are.

15. Get prime confrontation tips. Cheaters don’t love being found out. If you confront them (and you actually should), it’s necessary to be ready in each way. You may know tips on how to catch a cheating spouse by making ready emotionally (and infrequently neglected want), verbally, physically, and most vital of all, legally. Your associate won’t have a prayer of speaking their method out of being caught, and coping with it.

16. Spot the pre-decided cheat. If there’s nothing occurring right now, that might not be true forever. Some people are hard-wired to cheat. You’ll know the method to know if your associate is predisposed to it, and what you are in a position to do if they are to provde the greatest probability for happiness in the future.

Whenever you put these ways concerning methods to catch a cheating spouse to work discreetly, when you’re snooping in your associate dwelling a lie behind closed doorways, you may finally be able to get your life again!

Benefit of the doubt in a relationship is an opinionated way of looking at the uncertainty of a situation.

Now on to the…

Scenario: One day I decide to pretend like I was walking out of the house, so I closed the door and stayed extremely quiet. Then my boyfriend (not the one i’m with now) phone rings and he answers “Hey how are you, what are you doing?” I didn’t think nothing of it. Then he starts laughing and making jokes but in his sexy voice so I began to wonder. Who is that?  Why is he talking as if he were talking to me? Is this what he does everytime I walk out of the door?

So me, being a smooth criminal, I open the door and pretend to rush in and say “Have you seen my phone, it was on the table?” He tells the person on the other end of the phone, “I’ll call you back!” and he then hangs up.

So i’m walking around the house pretending to look for my misplaced phone that is right in my pocket, and I yell “Got it!”

So he gives me a kiss and Rushes me out the door, suspiciously I might add.

Anyways long story short I gave him benefit of the doubt, didn’t think nothing of it and left the situation alone.
That was until…
A week later when…

I noticed he let his guard down one day, he went to work and left his phone home.

I went through his phone and he was indeed cheating. How do you know? you ask!

Late night calls to and from that number, I called the number and asked for some random person and to my surprise it was a woman that answered.

Finally I could not take it anymore and called her and asked for him, she said he was not there and asked who I was. I told her I was his girlfriend and was looking for him.
She then told me who she was and that they had been dating for 4 months.

Again smooth criminal… We came up with a plan to case him up, it went down the following week at my house. He was caught and didn’t have nothing to say.

I gave up a cheating boyfriend and gained a friend!

Has this happen to you in any way, and was he cheating or did you give him benefit of the doubt?

Now tell me what do you think?

Do not try anything until you read this article!

You can be making a big mistake.  This article will tell you exactly how to catch a cheater and get the evidence you need to confront them!

You deserve to know the truth, and usually if it is the first time, the problem may be fixed.

However, it is necessary, to have sufficient evidence before accusing a cheating spouse!

Here is what you should do:

What to know before you begin:

Understand that a cell phone is the best way to catch a cheating spouse.

You should never follow your spouse around, it is very embarrassing to be noticed!

A cheating spouse never enter the name of the other person in their phone. They always will have an alias in their phone directory. (Usually using a name of the same gender)

You must have sufficient evidence that they can faced proving an affair.

HOW TO CATCH A CHEATER:

Step by Step

1.  When your spouse is in the shower, gain access to their cell phone.

2.  Write down any suspicious numbers in the recent calls or text messages list.

3.  Place the phone where it was and exactly how it was! ( this keeps him / her from suspecting anything)

4. Find a personal phone book online.

5.  Enter each number and receive the suspect’s name, address, information activities, family background, etc..

6. You have just discovered with whom your spouse might be having an affair with!

Now you can approach on your possibly cheating spouse!

Note:  It would be nice if we could only enter the number in the white pages for free, but due to privacy laws, the information is not available in the mobile phone to the public.   This helps us all maintain privacy.

But for this reason in search of cell phone numbers in a private database is extremely cheap and the information is amazing.

Is Your Significant Other Playing You For A Fool?

Learn How to Get Rock Solid Proof if Your Partner is Cheating in 48 Hours With Zero Risk

If you have notice any of these signs, these might be signs that your partner is probably cheating on you.

The only way you can actually fix the issue, is if you confront your doubts of their adultery once and for all.

Here is how you can catch a cheater red-handed.

If you notice that your spouse is forgetting important things such as, especial dates and events, these might be signs that your partner has probably found a new partner.

When people are cheating, usually forget things, because they are forced to live a double life, and will confuse in their mind which days apply to which person.

Your spouse seems disinterested and has lost enthusiasm for sex?  If you notice your partner will dry quickly and act emotionally dead.

This might be because they found someone new to fulfill their emotional and sexual needs.

Does your partner work late, and even go to work early? This is one of the best ways to catch a cheating spouse just call him/her up, and ensure they really are where they say, but don’t call just once make sure you call a few times without notice.

Always remember no one really loves their work that much that they would be staying late and going early all of a sudden.

Is Your Significant Other Playing You For A Fool?

Learn How to Get Rock Solid Proof if Your Partner is Cheating in 48 Hours With Zero Risk

The Internet is overflowing with lists of “sure signs”  that he’s cheating.

But these signs may not the best way to get the truth.  Let’s talk about the real way to find out whether or not he’s betraying you.

You have a good reasons, to be concerned.   If you didn’t have your suspicions about him, you wouldn’t be reading this article.

You may have decided to look into this more because you read some of those lists filled with signs of a cheating boyfriend or other similar information.

Don’t get me wrong, those lists can be helpful. But they don’t prove anything though.

What we need now is evidence.

You need to really know once and for all whether he’s actually cheating on you.   Otherwise, you’re just guessing.

Private investigators, expert opinions, relevant experts and others have mounted comprehensive guides showing that will prove whether he is innocent or guilty of cheating.

If you want to know how to tell if your boyfriend is cheating, you should be looking to them for assistance.

Is Your Significant Other Playing You For A Fool?

Learn How to Get Rock Solid Proof if Your Partner is Cheating in 48 Hours With Zero Risk

As I mentioned above, there were three main signs that lead me to believe that my girlfriend was cheating, which ended up being true. They are as follows:

1. He/She seems more distant
2. The calls and texts are not as frequent or as long as they used to be
3. He/She is always irritated  with anything that you are doing

I can say that after I found out that my girlfriend had been cheating on me, I felt absolutely crushed. I think there are stages of recovery and it is perfectly normal to feel angry, sad, lonely, used, abandoned. Just know that you were not the one who cheated or did anything wrong. Although it takes time to heal, you have to move forward. Learning to trust someone new might be hard, but take it slow and you might be surprised to see how well a new relationship can develop!

It just so happens that I caught a quick minute of the Dr. Phil show today and the topic was cheating partners! If you’d like, he has a quiz posted on his website about jealousy and suspecting whether your partner is cheating or not. Check it out here.

I am curious  if you agree with these signs? What other signs have you seen?  For those of you that have been cheated on, I would like to hear if you were able to forgive them and how you officially found out they were cheating.

If your significant other is showing any of these signs, please do not jump to the conclusion that they are cheating. This is not a full-proof way to tell if your boyfriend/girlfriend is cheating on you.  I have never cheated on anyone and am glad that my current girlfriend is someone who I trust with all of my heart.  I hope none of you have to go through this and find the one that makes your heart flutter every time you look into her eyes.

As always comments are encouraged!

So I meet him out, and he’s adorable and funny, and then about twenty minutes into our great conversation, he mentions that he’s seeing someone. Okay…not great. And then he mentions that she and I actually have a mutual friend. Not great either. And THEN he mentions that since his girlfriend and I have a friend in common, he thought we would get along, so he invited her to come meet us! Not only that, but he said that when he told her he was meeting me out, she said, “That sounds to me like you’re going out on a date.”

Needless to say, when the girlfriend showed up it was terribly awkward. He even mentioned during our conversation that he had forgotten since the last time he saw me how cute I am. The whole thing was weird and I chugged my beer and inhaled my dinner and left. I thought that would be the end of it, but no. I got an email from him the next day saying how much fun he had, and how he’d like to do it again some time.

What the hell do I write back to him? And I can’t believe I’m asking this, but should I go out with him again? He’s really cute…

Email option #1:

Thank you so much for asking me out to dinner last night with you and your girlfriend. It appears that you two are trying to have a three-way with me, or else you’re so dumb you don’t understand the concept of “dating.” Either way, I’m definitely not going anywhere with you ever again.While the prospect of a nice free meal and a case of chlamydia is appealing on several levels, I think I’m going to hold out for a guy who isn’t cheating on his girlfriend right in front of her face.

Email option #2:

That was so fun! I have really low self-esteem and I’m fairly certain that the only boyfriend I can ever get is one who already has a girlfriend who comes on dates with us, so I’d love to see you guys again. I’ll sit in the back seat if you come pick me up, but if you want me to put out your girlfriend is going to have to wait outside the car.

Email option #3:

I had a lovely time last night; it was nice to see the two of you. Please keep me in mind for your future real estate needs.

(I want to add as an aside here that while this wasn’t the greatest start to your recently relaunched love life, you needn’t despair. Just view this and all future dates with dipshits as practice for the one magical date where you find the man of your dreams.)

A cell phone plays a role in almost EVERY affair. So it’s your best clue to reveal what they are really doing. If your spouse is cheating, monitoring cell phone usage will tell you everything you need to know.

Most of the time a cheating spouse will delete their call and text history so you can’t see their true actions. They know the TRUTH will set you free. So how can you know the real truth?

You have the right to know the TRUTH.
SpouseSpy is a hybrid software/service which allows you to monitor your husband or wife’s smartphone in real time. This unique system records every activity they perform in real time. You will know the entire truth.

Install the application directly onto the device and it starts every time the phone is turned on. The invisible application remains stealth and doesn’t show up in the running processes.

Silently records EVERYTHING including full SMS messages, call info, GPS locations, photos snapped, web sites visited, contacts added and more.

Logs are silently uploaded and stored in your private online account. Your account is accessible only by you from any web browser. Keep reading to learn what specific activities you’ll be able to monitor.

You’ll be able to see all these activities:
Every text message with full text even if the phone’s logs are deleted.
Each incoming and outgoing call’s number along with duration and time.
GPS postions captured at an adjustable rate with a link to a map.
Every new and active contact in the phone’s Contacts list.
All inbound and outbound emails from the primary email account.
All website addresses visited using the phone’s web browser.
All photos and videos taken by the phone in full size.

Armed with this information you will know the truth about whether or not your significant other is being unfaithful. You will be able to take your life back or simply put the bad thoughts behind you. Either way you will know the truth.

Compatible with Android, iPhone and BlackBerry!
SpouseSpy is compatible with Android, BlackBerry and iPhone smartphones. For a complete list, check our compatible phones page. No compatible phone? A new one would make a nice gift.

Don’t wait until it’s too late. Get the proof you need very quickly. Order today to receive your username, password and access to installation instructions sent immediately to your email.
Learn the TRUTH and STOP Living a Nightmare!

Here’s what you will get upon purchasing…

* Instant Username and Password to login instantly after ordering!
* Step-by-Step instructions inside your account for installation.
* Online Tech Support available for assistance with the system.
* Free software updates during your one year period.
* No recurring charges! Purchase is for one full year’s access.
* You will FINALLY be able to know the COMPLETE TRUTH!

My reaction to Goatee’s infidelity (yes, it’s a dramatic word, but necessary all the same) has been quite different to my realisation that TheBoy is a cheating married bastard. I was truly sad and hurt when I found out about TheBoy, and it took me quite some time to get over it. In fact, I don’t know if I am actually over him. Yes, I finally cut him from my life, but there’s still a sentimental sting in my heart. But Goatee, when I think of Goatee, I’m disgusted. He makes me nauseas. I’m annoyed that I was sucked into this stupid relationship, and that I moved in with him rather than just sorting out my life and finding another flat. I’m angry that I didn’t see this coming, and I’m mad that I fell for a grown man who is no better than a stroppy child. And I’m really creeped-out that we had all that weird sex. That makes me so sick to my stomach.

Oh, right. What happened? I haven’t told you that yet.

Monday started fairly normal. I woke-up to a frisky Goatee, and we had sex in the shower, which then lead to a frisky flirty morning. He drove me into work, and I was at my desk, and he comes around behind the counter and starts whispering in my ear. NFEditor was late arriving to work, so she walked through the front door and saw us. She huffed as she went by my desk. Within less than a minute she’d rung. She wanted to see me in her office.

She asks me to have a seat because, ‘we need to talk’. She says that I ‘need to know the situation’, that ‘it’s best we’re all adults’, and ‘these things happen all the time.’ From the way she was talking, I thought she was going to fire me, but then she adds ‘it’s what adults do. No point in being prudish about it.’

After a bit of a pause, she just blurts it out. ‘Goatee and I have been sleeping together.’

I really thought it was a whined-up. He’s never showed any interest in her. ‘Have been sleeping together.’ It’s weird but that ‘have been’ really played over in my mind, not the ‘sleeping together’ part.

She was quiet for a bit, then said, ‘I turned him down at first, but he was so relentless. He practically throws himself at me, what else am I to do?’

I didn’t say a word; I just got up and went into Goatee’s office. He was in the middle of writing something. I expected to tell him, and for him to laugh, and say, ‘She’s crazy. You know she always needs to be the centre of attention.’

So, I said, ‘You’ll never believe the rubbish NFEditor just told me. She said that you two have been sleeping together.’

His reaction wasn’t what I was expecting. He was quiet then said, ‘Yes. We did. It’s not a big deal.’ And then he went back to writing.

I was in shock. How could he be so cavalier? I just stood there; I didn’t leave his office.

He looked up from his work and said, ‘What did you expect? She’ll do things you won’t. If you just weren’t so frigid…’

I couldn’t believe he just said that! I couldn’t keep quiet, so I said very loudly, ‘So, it’s my fault you’re a philanderer.’ (I actually used the word ‘philanderer’. Yeah, it’s weird.)

He calmly stands up and says, ‘And what have you been getting up to…’

I cut him off. ‘I don’t know what you’ve been told, but I’ve been nothing but faithful.’ Then I asked, ‘Is it true. Is it true that you pursued her?’ I mean, I could see NFEditor coming after him; hell, she hits on everything.

Goatee calmly said, ‘I don’t think the details are important.’

I assured them that they were important. Not that it matters. He cheated. But I still wanted to know if he calculated going behind my back, or if it just kind of happened.

He said that he bumped into her the day before New Years Eve. He’d been in the office that day and wanted a pint after work. He was coming out of the office as she was going in. They went for a drink, and then he said, ‘Do you really want to know the rest?’

I asked if they were still sleeping together, but he didn’t answer. Instead he started talking about ‘trust being a two way street’ and if I was ‘going to be immature’ then… well, I stopped listening.

All I could focus on were those stupid loafers, and his stupid socks that match his stupid tie. I stared at those loafers, and then started to picture his feet. All hairy with yellowing toe nails, then I looked up and I could picture him naked. A bit of sag around his middle, that patch of hair on his lower back. I thought of him on the toilet with the door open, and I also remembered him standing in the bathroom shaving his head. I never really wanted to be in this relationship, I just got pulled into it. I never wanted to live with him. I never wanted to even sleep with him. He is just a vile pervert of a man, and I got sucked into his life.

He was still talking as I walked out of his office. I picked up my handbag and kept on walking out the door. I was very calm; I knew what I was going to do. I was going back to Goatee’s house. I was going to get all of my stuff and I was going back to Kingston. I had no business being in Glasgow. This whole experience had been nothing but a disaster. I didn’t want to be in publishing. All I wanted to be was home.

I was on the bus when my mobile rang. It was HarryPotter. He asked where I was. Could he come get me? I told him I was going back to London. He asked me to stay. He said that I should stay. I told him ‘no’.

When I got to Goatee’s house, HarryPotter was waiting. I asked him why he was here, and he said ‘Want to make sure you’re okay.’ I asked where Goatee was, as I was afraid he’d be on his way home. HarryPotter said he stayed in the office and carried on working like nothing had happened. That hurt more than I thought it would.

HarryPotter asked me to stay at his for the night, and he argued that it was too late to catch a train. That I should sleep on it before deciding to leave. Actually, I had plenty of time to catch a train, but he kept insisting that I shouldn’t leave in a rush. Finally, I agreed to sleep on it.

He helped me pack my stuff, and he loaded my bags in his car. I had been wearing the pendant Goatee gave me for Christmas, and as I walked out the door, I took it off, and put it on the side table. I put the keys to Goatee’s house next to the pendant but something wasn’t right. It was weird just leaving. I felt like I was checking out of a hotel. Recently, I looked online to see how much that necklace cost, and it’s really expensive. The whole break up was feeling so cold and impersonal, so I pushed the keys aside, and picked up the pendant. I’ve decided to keep it. Maybe it was because the pendant is expensive, or maybe I just wanted something to remind me that it was a real relationship – not just some sort of arrangement.

HarryPotter took me to his flat, and he’s got a spare room. I’d left a bunch of stuff in my desk, and I wanted my things, but I wasn’t willing to go back to the office; so I asked HarryPotter if he would collect my belongings for me. He nicely agreed and went back into the office.

While he was away, I logged on to the internt planning to blog about what had happened; this is when I saw that I had a new referrer, and decided to check it out. Not the best idea, as it was the ‘offending’ blog post about me not being real. So rather than blogging about Goatee being a disgusting creep, I went on a rant about this girl’s blog. Like I said before, it was just bad timing. I shouldn’t have gotten so upset, but it felt like the world was caving in on me.

HarryPotter was gone for about an hour, and when he came back he didn’t have my stuff. He said that he thought I should face-up to the office and get the stuff myself. Plus, Boobs really wanted to talk to me before I left. The thought of dealing with Boobs on top of all the other drama made me feel even sicker. But HarryPotter pushed and pushed it. He said that if I wanted, I could live with him. He has a spare room. He said that I shouldn’t buy my train ticket until I get to the station, and I should talk to Boobs before I decide to do anything.

I finally relented to talk to Boobs, but I wasn’t sure if I was going to stay in Glasgow.

Yesterday early evening, I was on the phone with D, and then B and then R for a while, but I really didn’t feel like talking about it. So it was nice to just hear their voices, without having to say much. Eventually, I got off Skype, and bless little HarryPotter, he really did try to cheer me up. That night he ordered Chinese take-away, and we watched Sex and The City 2.  He bought it for cheep from the Tescos, because he said ‘All girls like this stuff don’t they? It cheers them up.’ I laughed.

Now I love the Sex and the City series, and I adore the first film. But this second film was so incredibly bad. But it was so bad that HarryPotter and I laughed the whole time, and he made jokes about their clothes and the fact that Kim Catrell is starting to look like Joan Rivers, and the braless Irish nanny named Erin – as in Erin go Braugh. Yeah, it was that bad. 

I was feeling better by bedtime, but as soon as the lights were out, and I was in that guest bedroom (actually it’s a box room full of old computer parts and a futon) all the anger came flooding back. I hardly slept last night thinking about how I keep falling for the same type of guy, and how that same type of guy treats me any way he wants.

I didn’t sleep well, so I was up pretty early this morning. I logged into the blog and was absolutely shocked by everyone’s response to yesterday’s post. I broke down in tears, and wanted to reply to everyone, but my head was all over the place.

HarryPotter heard me crying and knocked lightly on the door. He had a morning cuppa and some toast. ‘Breakfast in bed’ he said. I did’t want him to know about the blog, so I closed down my laptop.

HarryPotter drove me into work this morning, and I went into Boobs office before clearing out my desk. Here’s what she said to me:

‘I’ve decided that it’s time you and Intern2 switched roles. I’d like you to work with me in fiction, and he’ll take over the role of nonfiction intern. It would be advantageous for you both the gain experience in different fields of publishing.’

I asked if I would be still working front of office, or if I was completely switching rolls with Intern2 – ie, would I have to work with Goatee as Intern2 had been.

Boobs said, ‘No. You’ll still be front desk support, but from now on you will only report to me.’

She then added that she wanted me to help edit MyAuthor’s new manuscript, and that MyAuthor has specifically asked if I could be a part of the project.

I shifted on my feet a bit. It was a good offer, but the thought of seeing Goatee and NFEditor everyday made me want to scream. I was kind of just blank, and Boobs added, ‘You shouldn’t let external circumstances keep you from finishing a commitment. It’s unprofessional. Plus, I think you’ve got a future in publishing, it would be ridiculous to throw that away.’

That’s all she said. No mention of Goatee or NFEditor, but I knew what she was doing. Despite the orange tan, duck lips and blond extensions she’s a smart little cookie. I really should have had more respect for her from the beginning.

Due to her decision to switch my rolls, and everyone’s comments on my blog, I agreed to stay. Boobs said that I could take the rest of the day off, but that I was expected back in the office tomorrow morning. I thanked her and walked out of her office.

NFEditor was in her office with the door shut, and Goatee wasn out. Intern2 was at the front desk, so it was just HarryPotter and I in the communal area. I told him what Boobs had said, and he got the biggest smile on his face before saying, ‘You’re staying then?’

I said, ‘You’ll get all that junk out of the spare room so I’ll have a place to live?’

He’s at work today, and I’ve cleared out the spare room. The placement is only for another seven weeks. I think I can hang about for that long.

And, while the thought of Goatee makes me sick and angry, I’m glad I have my friends.

I might have a blogging addiction, and I might reveal too much online, but it does feel good to get it all out in the open. This is my cathartic outlet. I’m going to stay in Glasgow and I’m going to keep blogging. And, I also just want to say, I’m sorry for going all blogger-ASBO yesterday. But it’s also good to know that I have so many online friends. Thanks.

I want to rip your heart out

And feed it to your dog

And watch

Your little bitch

Feast on your failure

How dare you disrespect me?

You ignorant shit

But here’s my best wishes

To you and that slut

I gave you some good times

And when we hit bad

You couldn’t be bothered

So you just give up??

I mean I stood by

Supported you through your court case

What other woman

Would do that

You were on trial for rape!?

And now you’ve taken

More than if you’d forced in your dick

I said I’d make you pay

Now, know that I mean it

I’m plotting and planning

A horror so great

You will never

Forget or repeat your mistake

Don’t bite the hand

That’s fed you

Or know if you do

That bleeding hand

Will be coming after you

I’m patient and waiting

Til you won’t expect

You thought that you knew me

You aint seen nothing yet