There is a huge imbalance in society.  There is something called Pareto’s law that states 20% of what you do contributes to 80% of your overall intended results.  It is called the 80/20 rule and is found in many areas of life, including relationships.  20% of society makes more than 80% of the money.  Actually, it’s more like 10% of society makes 90% of the money.  Dating is no different, 10% of guys sleep with 90% of all the high quality females.  10% of guys sleep with 90% of the females ALL guys want to sleep with.  For the guys in the top 10% of dating, they have 9 girls for every one of them.  What an amazing feat it must be to be one of these guys.

You’ve met him, you’ve talked to him, his time is limited, you can instantly tell that he is in the top 10%.  Once a female understands this, she realizes that not ALL men are cheaters or dogs, just they one’s she is dating.  The same guys that every other female is trying to date.   Why does this phenomenon exist?  The sheer ignorance of the male population is to blame.  Guys simply do not understand women, 10% of guys decided that this was important and invested some time into discovering the female mind.

While the rest of the male population is out there trying to make a buck, measure dick size, and purchase  the latest bmw convertible, the top 10% are sweeping the female population off their feet.  When you see this imbalance, you see there simply is too many girls and not enough time in the day.  The weirdest part of the phenomenon is that any guy at any time could enter this top 10%.  But the lack of education among the male population keeps this ratio in check at all times.

Men cheat because they have so many options, the top 10% that is.  A female could easily pick a faithful, honest, well-employed guy from the other 90%, but she doesn’t even see this guy.  He doesn’t even register on her radar.  He simply does not hit her attraction switches, he does not understand her, he is not really good with people.  The biggest problem in the male population is ego.  Trying to be better than other guys, trying to put oneself above the other members of society.  The true player knows he does not need to compete, rather, there are more than enough females out there.

Men cheat when situations continually create themselves over and over.  A male cannot turn his personality off, it is that personality that females are attracted to in the first place.  Once this amazing personality has been developed, attraction is natural, he doesn’t do anything, he is just himself.  So here is a guy who constantly has women throwing themselves at him.  Unless he stays at home all day, his primal brain is going to take over his logical brain one day.  In a moment of animal instinct, he may want to fulfill his sexual desires.  This is not meant to take away from a loving relationship.  It’s animal instinct.  A guy loses control of himself, his emotions take over.

If a female wants a guy who is very likely not to cheat, she’ll have to pick from the other 90% of guys.   We all know how much fun that will be.

Woman wants monogamy;

Man delights in novelty.

Love is woman’s moon and sun;

Man has other forms of fun.

Woman lives but in her Lord;

Count to ten and man is bored.

With this the gist and sum of it,

What earthly good can come of it?

Dorothy Parker

There is one way that women can ensure no man ever cheats again. And that is if all women stopped falling for the bullshit they spin when they seduce.

Now, I’m not talking about those poor women who find out after a while that their exciting new boyfriend is actually lying to them about his status (that happened to me once – and I think many women have this sad story to tell) but I am talking about those women who know that their guy is married or with another woman who does not know that he is cheating.

You know who you are ladies.

I know all about this, because I was one of these women in a dim dark past life also, and I can tell you, it is a sad and sorry state for a woman to reduce herself to being second best in any situation. (And trust me – the mistress is ALWAYS second best no matter WHAT lies you’ve been fed) However, I think the worst thing about it is the desperation a woman must feel to think that this man is her only opportunity or that he is worth the betrayal.

Because when someone is doing this to someone else (yes – I know – women do it too) they’re cheating on you as well. Just because you know that they’re sleeping with another woman / man does not mean you have “over” the partner who is in ignorance. Because you are the silly fool who is compromising your own opportunities for a caring relationship with ALL the benefits of togetherness, not just the sex.

I know this, because it happened to me, women who cheat on husbands, or who become the woman  a man can cheat with have poor self-esteem and no ability to take control of their lives. The short-lived burst of power is a fiction of the imagination. You have nothing over the wife or husband at home. You are merely a pawn being used in a game over which you have no control.

In romance novels men don’t cheat.

There has been a lot of stories in the news lately about women seeking vengeance against men who cheat.  There was the story about the women who found out they were sleeping with the same guy and super glued his penis to his leg, the woman who published pictures of her and her cheating man  (the guy from Oracle) on a website and Billboard, and the John Edwards mistress who sought child support, thereby leaking the information about John’s paternity, even after she agreed to keep quit because Edwards paid her a large amount of hush money.

It’s hard to feel too much sympathy for these guys.  Just maybe fear of ending up like one of these guys will act as a deterrent for men inclined to cheat.

Happy New Year! I hope all of you enjoyed a very Happy New year and that you have stuck to the resolutions that you made during this period. I simply hope that your resolution for the New Year wasn’t to give up on men because by condemning all men due to the actions of one is foolish.

As I have said before and I will state it again, “There are good men out there for each and every one of you.” The problem most times is that women tend to settle and at times you settle for the wrong guy.

With that said, I figured today I would give you a list that will make the wrong men a little less harder to identify. Hopefully this list will be beneficial to you and your friends and assist you ladies in narrowing down the search for true love, unconditional love.

So ladies, grab a cup of coffee or your favorite drink and lets look at the 10 Things that Screams, He’s a Dog!” Hopefully you’ll find it entertaining, insightful and educational.

10 Situations that Scream, “He’s a Dog!”

Lesson #1:

He asks for your phone number and you just met:
If this happens to you or has happened to you the results were probably less than positive. You’re so excited that this cute guy whom you have just only met is interested in you, wow! However, during this excitement you failed to think about several important elements.

OK, you know you’re beautiful (or you should anyway) and if this guy is so cute or handsome, why doesn’t he have a girlfriend? Or does he? Now that you have time to think and breath, think about this. If he asks for your number, the chances that he already is involved with someone raises significantly. By obtaining your number, he can control when he talks to you without running the risk of being found out by his significant other.

Another thing that most women fail to recognize immediately is that he possibly didn’t ask if you were in a relationship. If you are and he still requested the number, he has little respect for you, your mate and the sacred right of being in a monogamous relationship.

However, if you are in a relationship and you even entertained the idea of giving him your number then you too have little respect for the above.

During this exciting faze you also probably overlooked the ease that it took for him to ask you, a woman that he doesn’t know for your number. What you should have thought automatically was that, he’s done this before and has had a lot of practice. Which means that you’re not as special to him as you think, in reality you’re simply available at this time.

Think about these things the next time someone you don’t know or barely know asks for your number, there are many things you should think about beside the fact that he’s cute or not.

Above all this, by asking him for his number you get the opportunity to watch his body language and actions. If he has a significant other he’ll probably give you some lame excuse about how he lost his cell phone so you should call his mothers house or his home phone. All the while he’ll begin to fidget as he tries to weasel his way through a load of B.S.

Regardless, if you take the number and call him and another woman answers the phone, don’t hang up. If she asks who you are, tell her the truth, that being that he asked you to call him. If she says that she is his wife or girlfriend, explain to her that you meant no harm and had he informed you that he was attached you would not have accepted the number. End the conversation by apologizing for the call and inform her that you will not be calling again. Be polite and place yourself in her shoes, how would you feel. If she asks questions, answer them as best you can and overlook her rudeness because it will change from anger to thankfulness in a matter of minutes. You have nothing to hide and you just met him so you also have nothing to lose. She’s really not mad at you anyway, it’s him that her anger is directed at as it should be.
Lesson # 2:

 He’s trying to impress you with his Car:

Cars! There I said it. Some men still think that if they have a nice car that they can have any woman that they chose. It’s as though this automobile instantly transforms them into a chick magnet and it gives them the courage to approach any woman without fear of rejection.

Sounds crazy doesn’t it? However, crazy things work too in the world of men. It appears funny that any man would equate what he drives with his ability to attract women, but sadly it many times works!

How many times have you and your girlfriends driven through the park on a nice sunny day because you know that men will be out waxing their cars? In cities all across the U.S., when spring arrives, the sun begins to shine and the flowers and tress start to bloom, young people flock to parks everywhere. Girls in shorts walk through the grass as young men shirtless, wax their pride and joy while music blasts out of their sound systems.

Unfortunately, before actually seeing the guy women actually notice the car and it becomes a magnet and at the least a reason to start up a conversation.

We’ve all pretty much done this at some point in our young life. Hell, my very first vehicle out of High School was a pristine British Sports car and second to the fact that I was a College Basketball player this car played a big part in the amount of women that scored with.

Today, nothing has changed. I listened in as my son and his friends harped on and on about how when they were old enough they were going to by Mercedes, Lexus and Corvettes because they knew that this would help them with the ladies.

Not all women are that gullible to date a man based on his mode of transportation, however unfortunately there are some. So when you are in a conversation with a man and he attempts to steer you in the direction of asking him what he drives, you now know why? His aim is to impress you with 22″ rims and a sound system to die for, all in the hopes that it will make him appear worthy enough to separate you from your clothes.

I say this because chances are that he loves that car more than he will ever possibly love you. Why? Because that car makes him popular and it attracts young immature women who don’t know any better and because they don’t he can have his way with them. Can you do that for him? Or better yet, would you? I didn’t think so.

So the next time you look at the car first and the guy second, think about this, you’re not the only woman that could possibly fall into this trap and he knows it too.

 Lesson # 3:

 You live in the same town, but after two months he still hasn’t introduced you to his family:

When you fall in love you really want to share that feeling with everyone. Friends, family and the whole damn world is supposed to share in your bliss. Men are the same as women in this respect, with the exception that they tend to introduce you to their friends first.
Note: We do this because we want them to envy us over just how damn beautiful you are!
Once we’ve wallowed in that ecstasy and gotten not only our friends seal of approval we tend to feel it’s time for you to meet the family. This entire process shouldn’t take any longer than 30 days. Because in the beginning of a relationship we tend to spend every waking moment with you allowing us the opportunity to see you from all sides. If you’re a keeper, you’ll meet the family right around the 60 day mark, barring that they actually live in the same area code, if not it could be a little bit longer.
If you and your man have been together for longer than 60 days and he hasn’t introduced you to family and friends all of whom live in the same city, you have a problem you might want to address.
Unfortunately men don’t introduce the woman they profess love of to people that they are related to or friends with for the following reasons: 1) they feel differently about the relationship then they are actually telling you. 2) you are not the only woman they have; 3) for whatever reason they are uncomfortable with you, your looks, weight, color etc; 4) they are not planning on keeping you around; 5) he is simply using you.
I am sorry to have to tell you those things but it’s the truth. Think about it, when you meet a nice guy, you probably cannot wait to share your happiness with friends and family, right? Men are no different unless he’s guilty of one of the above reasons for not performing the introductions.
However, if he’s a dog like I once was, it is also possible that he cannot introduce you to his mom until he’s positively sure you are the one. Here’s why; you bring too many women home to meet your mom and she automatically knows whom you’ve become as a man. Mothers are quick to acknowledge the obvious and have been known to inform their sons not to bring another woman home to meet her unless it is his wife! I know this because I received this exact instruction from my mom after replacing several girlfriends in a short period of time.
Mothers are women too, and although they love their sons they seldom condone the type of behavior that many of us display in regards to the women we date. The next time i took a woman home with me was years later and yes, she was my wife and remains my wife to this day.

Lesson # 4:

 You’ve met his male friends but none of their girlfriends:

Why would a man whom professes his love for you take you out to bars to meet his male friends and none of their girlfriends or wives are present? Because there is a good chance that his friends girlfriends or wives don’t know one another either.
Women talk to one another and trust me, the last thing he wants is to introduce you to his friends girl on the chance that she may say, “You do know he has another girlfriend too?” He also doesn’t want to run the risk of you becoming friends with women whom know what he’s really like and his past. The past he wants you to hear is the one that he fabricates for your ears only.
Oh, and by the way where are his friends girlfriends? They’re at home or out with friends just as you will be months later when he decides to go out with his friends. So prepare yourself to be isolated and alone in this relationship just as his friends girlfriends are as well.
Oh, and he only introduced you to his friends to boast about the new girl he just obtained for his collection.

 Lesson # 5:

 His female cousin give you strange looks:

Not every girl that you see is going to be related to him. Regardless of what he says some of them are either ex’s or friends and relatives of ex’s that he’s known for years. Occasionally, you’ll meet a cousin and she’ll give you a strange look too, but that really because she’s trapped. She’s trapped between her loyalty to him as his relative and her bond with you as a member of the female race. She will at times give you a look that you interpret as disapproval, however it’s really a warning sign. She hopes that this simply gesture will cause you concern enough to question it. The sad thing is women rarely do, and when they do they question it to their man who is quick to point out that his cousin is always like that and she doesn’t like anyone. He may even tell you that she is like that because he used to date her best friend and since the break-up she likes none of his girlfriends.
The next time you stumble into a situation like this, don’t run from it. Befriend her and more than likely she’ll try to protect you and if you become close enough she’ll tell you everything you really need to know about him.

Lesson # 6:

 When you leave his apartment he always reminds you of something you almost left behind:

You ever been in a relationship and while leaving after spending the night he runs out to the car or calls you on your cell phone to remained you that you left something behind? Did this happen on more than one occasion?
If it did occur to you it was probably something insignificant to you, something you could do without for the day such as a brush, comb, eye liner, or scrunchy. The reason I say this is because generally it’ll be something that only a woman would have and the reason he doesn’t want you to leave it behind is so that no one else will see it and question him.
If he has allowed you to leave a tooth brush there, you’ll notice that the next time you arrive it’ll be neatly placed away out of sight. You can bet it won’t be on the counter in the holder next to his where you left it days before.
These are all classical signs that you are not the only woman that he entertains there and he wants no questions about who else has been spending time with him. The easiest way to assure himself that this will not happen is to sanitize the place upon each female departing.
Women notice anything that seems out of place and for a bachelor to have a female hair brush in his cabinet or a hair bow could lead to loads of questioning.
So if you haven’t been in this type of situation yet, hopefully you’ll be able to identify it if it happens to you.

Lesson # 7:

He lives alone, but he has feminine hygiene products in his bathroom:

Men who deal with a plethora of women are like Boy Scouts, they are always prepared. You go to his place and you’ll find everything from feminine hygiene products, bikinis, Teddy’s and more in several different colors styles and sizes.
Ever went to a guys house for the first time and he asked if you’d like to go swimming? Of course you didn’t bring a bikini because you had no idea that this was a possibility, right? Well when he asked, it was really a loaded question to begin with.
You see the idea is this, we generally ask after you’ve had several drinks so your inhibitions have lowered. He’s hoping that it’s at the point where he can convince you that you really don’t need one since it’s only you and him. He’s hoping that you agree since you already told him you like to swim. However, if you balk at this skinny dipping opportunity he’ll change up on you and offer you a t-shirt to cover yourself (which we all know becomes transparent once wet, right?).
If you balk at this offer as well he’ll suddenly remember that his cousin (female of course) purchased a couple of bikinis and left them before she ever had a chance to wear them and lucky for you they just might be in your size. Now lets go swimming!
It’s funny now, but in reality this whole thing was simply an exercise in separating you from your clothes and in a mans mind, less is more.
When living alone and dealing with multiple women men have been known to have products to cover any situation that may arise in the course of an evening, however when you live with him he has to constantly run to the store because he’s seldom prepared for anything, go figure.
So you go to his apartment and he has battery sizes for every single sex toy you could imagine, live with him and during a power outage he has to go to the store to get batteries for a flashlight, ha,ha. I know, I spend more time now jaunting back and forth to pick up things that years ago I kept in stock in the back of my closet as a single man.
Lesson # 8:

He never spends a full night at your place:

Ever have that guy who is kind, gentle and treats you like a queen? You call him and he comes running to bring you whatever you need or request. However, when he comes over to spend time with you he never spends a complete night. He may stay and make love to you until you’re both exhausted but before 5 am he’s whispering that he has to get up and go home.
He’ll give you all types of excuses about having a big meeting that morning or having to let his dog out, or how he simply cannot get comfortable enough in your bed to fall completely asleep.
You can’t go to his house because he has already laid the ground work by telling you that he either lives with his Mom, or has a apartment full of room mates and either way it’s disrespectful for you to be placed in that type of situation. Right?
However, if you examine these statement a little closer you’ll discover they may not be true at all. He may not actually live with his mom, and yeah he may share an apartment with several room mates but he also may have someone else that expects him to be a certain place at certain times, like with her.
If he can’t get comfortable in your bed, hell, ask him to purchase one for your place that he can get comfortable in. If you and he are really in a monogamous relationship then there is really no excuse for his inability to spend complete nights with you if this is what you’d like. It’s nice to be able to see the person you love when you wake up laying beside you. To be able to share breakfast together and begin your day together before you depart for work and the stress it may entail.

Lesson # 9:

He suddenly becomes busy during the weeks that you have your menstrual:
When you are in a relationship but you don’t live together it leaves plenty of time to get into things that you shouldn’t. Sometimes women provide even more free time to men whom are already roaming freely and unsupervised by making this simple statement; “Oh, I just started my period, so you can go out with friends if you want.”
Women, you make this statement you simply tell your man that you feel that he only comes by when you can make love to you and that you’re alright with this fact.
Menstrual or not he should be with you, don’t you think. If sex is the only reason he comes by then quite frankly you don’t have much of a relationship to begin with.
So if he choses not to come around during this time of the month, just because you may be out of commission doesn’t meant other women are and this may be his opportunity to play with them, and your statement may have just made it easier.

 Lesson # 10:

He will not hold hands with you in public:

Some people consider holding hands or other public displays of affection childish behavior. It’s not, it is really a sign of togetherness, being a couple, in a relationship. Now I don’t mean going to the mall and groping one another or displaying long wet kisses, I mean small pecks and occassionally holding hands.
If the guy you are dating tells you that he simply doesn’t like holding hands, he’s full of shit. Holding hands for men goes back to our grade school days and we enjoy it just as much as you do. It’s our little way of letting all other men know that you are not only with us, but you are ours.
When a man says that he doesn’t like to hold hands or appears uncomfortable holding hands with you, chances are that he doesn’t want anyone to know that you two are an item. Remember, it’s easy to explain to your real girlfriend or wife that I went to the mall with a female friend. However, it’s hard to explain that smae situation when we were spotted holding hands while we walked through the mall.
I find it interesting that women don’t find it odd that the same man who cannot keep his hands off of you behind closed doors is uncomfortable touching you in public. You should always question this behavior.
It’s like dating the guy that when you first began talking told you how much he enjoyed going to the movies and now that you’re together he refuses to take you. How is that possible? Or the guy who only comes to your house late at night, but never takes you out in public.
How else do you explain this behavior? He’s either in another relationship as well, or ashamed of being seen with you in public (because of your height, weight, ethnicity, nationailty, etc.) There I said it, but either way, you deserve better! So send his sorry selfish, inmature ass packing and find yourself a real man. Find a man that cannot keep his hands off you in private and in public because that’s what love does, it makes us want to be one!

Well, I gotta run again. I hope something I wrote can be used by you or someone you know. If something above has been identified by you in your own relationship, I hope you have the strength, courage and self respect to correct it. I wish you luck and I hope you chose to visit Eavesdropping in the Boys Club often.

Tell-tale signs your man is cheating include:

1. He starts spending less time with you, but always comes up with last minute excuses that he has to work late or take sudden trips out of town.

2. He no longer gives you long juicy kisses, but replaces them with short pecks on your lips or face.

3. He starts requesting that you change things about your body such as shaving your pubes.

4. He makes noticeable changes to his physical appearance such as adding highlights to his hair or going on a diet and working out religiously.

5. Inside his car is unfamiliar with a new radio station and the passenger seat has been changed, so you know someone else has been sitting in your seat.

6. His aroma is different because he is now wearing a new cologne or you can smell another woman’s perfume that has rubbed off on him.

7. He is constantly on his cell phone texting, talking in code or he leaves the room whenever it rings.

8. He spends more time with his computer than he does with you, especially at night when you go to bed.

9. He says that he doesn’t have enough money to buy you the things that you need  because he is short of cash.

10. He suddenly starts bringing you little trinkets and acts uncharacteristically nice to you without any explanation.