There is Much to be Thankful for.....

oh… and happy birthday to me…

(Old Iron)

To those of you that have family and have the physical ability to be near them, give up all annoying and petty little arguments that you had in place that allowed you to ignore any obligations you think you don’t have to your family and love a little.

Family, in any form, is precious and should be cherished as a gift.

Oh, and Happy Birthday KC. You are going to LOVE the gift that I am getting you.

Heh heh.

One of my favorite sitcoms back in the 80s and early 90s was NBC’s Cheers. I liked the ensemble cast and writing and it was a fun show to watch whether it was the ongoing love spats between Sam Malone (Ted Danson) and Diane Chambers (Shelley Long), Carla Tortelli’s (Rhea Pearlman) acerbic wit and disdain for Diane or those lovable barflys Norm Peterson (George Wendt) and Cliff Claven (John Ratzenberger) debating life’s foibles and troubles.

One of my favorite episodes that I never get tired of watching was the one entitled Thanksgiving Orphans. In this classic episode, Diane is the only one who has made plans for Thanksgiving, as such Carla invites the rest of the Cheers gang to her place. They come over, but get very impatient as the afternoon passes waiting for Norm’s turkey (affectionately called “birdzilla” as the day progresses and their patience begins to wear thin) to cook. When Diane’s plans fall through, she joins them, to Carla’s disgust. And what happens next is a classic moment on television.

Happy Thanksgiving!

May the day be blessed with love and filled with warmth for you and your loved ones no matter where you are and how you celebrate this day.

Christmas is about to come and that’s Christmas Sale is about to open. Find a great sale for anything you need for your Christmas eve. Get your best Christmas gift for your family and colleague. Christmas gift can be anything. It is not about cheap or expensive one. Because Christmas is about the day you and your family having great time together to remember.

Get best Christmas idea for you before you decide to buy your kids, parents, brothers and sisters and also your colleague the best Christmas gifts. Send them some Christmas cards or Christmas e-Cards as your blessing for these blessed day.

Bring the blessed moment into your home with Christmas decorations. Light up the moment with the Christmas lights that will bright up more to your Christmas day and spice up your Christmas trees with Christmas ornaments.

Make your family Christmas atmosphere cheerful, with Christmas games. Create your serene living room with solemn songs Christmas songs, while you reading the Christmas story from your favorite Christmas books to all your family.

Christmas Sale is not only about the moment to shop, but it is more about the time you think about all people you love and care. And on these blessed and magic eve, send your boss and colleague  Christmas card or gift , bring magic moment to your later days in the future. You must believe, that these day will be one of Your Best Christmas Day.

Conservatives with Weakened Immune Systems Already Experiencing Allergic Reaction to Rare 11th Plague; Vaccine-Resistant Viral Clip May Also Convince Stubborn Eskimo to Rethink Unnecessary Air Travel, Free Israelites

You guys know I find politics gross, but I really wanna talk about this clip, and there’s no way to do it without trudging through hot-button sludge. So here goes. A nickel-bag environmentalist group in England somehow rustled up the funds to produce the following clip, which is blue-filtered and moody and Bolero-like and melodramatic and artsy and all of the things that a good theater commercial should be. That’s right, I like commercials—that doesn’t make me a capitalist any more than a conscious effort to reduce my carbon footprint makes me a communist.

Fueled by blind, impotent rage, scores of resentful, self-imagined guardians of truth instantly responded to this new threat with a barrage of climate statistics and strange references to Al Gore.  This counteroffensive, however, will probably prove ineffective against the bears, which are computer-generated and not really falling from the sky. YouTube is not the front, and the comments sections are not the trenches. Get over yourselves. You’re taking all of the good out of it, and ruining it for the rest of us.

There will be blood.

The channel that I embedded from is called “adsoftheworldcom“, and the theme of the channel is not global warming or climate change or making fun of birthers, but rather—you guessed it—ads of the world. It’s seemingly a repository for cool ads. That’s why I thought the comments for this clip might break YouTube precedent and actually be about style and technique and approach. It was naive of me, I now realize, to expect that the invisible chains of relevance would hold. Again, I thought we could all just enjoy the fact that it really looks like there are polar bears falling out of the sky. Yeah, the factoid is specious and the mammal use is over-the-top sentimental. Yeah, the cause is too niche. But the jet engine SFX are synchronized well, and incongruous imagery is always a treat. Usually the comments are an amusing supplement to any popular YouTube video, but today they just made me feel like I was living in a social Dark Age.

This is something that happens.

This is not something that happens. It looks really crazy, though, right?

]]> http://maidmonica.wordpress.com/2009/11/22/cheers-exhibition/ Sun, 22 Nov 2009 21:00:58 +0000 monicaaho http://maidmonica.wordpress.com/2009/11/22/cheers-exhibition/

These are pictures of me and I-Wen Lee showing off our project “Candle Tree”, at the “Cheers:)” Exhibition in the OXO Tower Wharf (South Bank) in London.

Description from the curators:

Cheers:) 2009 is the debut exhibition featuring around one hundred young emerging Chinese artists and designers currently residing in London. The exhibi- tion showcases the creative energy and positive attitude of young Chinese creators. Expect to see multiple disciplines including fine art, fashion design, architecture and spatial design, multimedia art, graphic design, product design and photography. The meaning of Cheers:) = “Ch” (Chinese) + “ers” (artists and designers).

http://www.exhibitioncheers.com/home/

Song:Say Yeah
Artist: KISS
Album: SONIC BOOM
Transcribed by: MXFNCK (mxfnck@hotmail.com)

Tune one half step down. The chords are not relative to this. An E chord would in
fact be an Eb. Listen to the song for timing et cetera.

-INTRO-

play once:

e--------------|
B--------------|
G--------------|
D--77-9--------|
A--55-7--------|
E--------------|

Intro chord sequence (open chords).
Listen to the song for timing and picking, it's fairly easy.
(Note that this progression is the same as in Bruce Springsteen's 'Radio Nowhere'
and in the Cranberries' 'Zombie')

Em, C, G, D (4x)

-VERSE-, these are power chords:

E5            C5         D5               E5            D5 E5
You, you're living your life when you're dreaming
         E5             C5         D5        E5         D5 E5
Late at night you're hearing my voice in your head

-PRE-CHORUS-

G5                    A5
It's time you see what it's all about

G5                            A5    B5
There's one cure and there's no way out

-CHORUS-

C                 G   D
I don't wanna hear you might
There's a fire gettin' near and sparks ignite
If you're ready for a wild ride

(Here you play the same open chords as in the intro chord sequence)
                       Em     C    G    D
Let me hear you say yeah (yeah, yeah, yeah)
        Em     C    G    D
Say yeah (yeah, yeah, yeah)

-BRIDGE-

F
Who knows where we'll be in the morning
C  G
    I know we're here tonight
C    F
   Get uptight and it all gets so boring
D
It takes two to make you come alive
C  D
   Take my hand, kiss your fears goodbye
C   D
  There's something here that we can't deny

-During the SOLO, play the verse chord sequence-

-Interlude-
                           C   G    D
Well, let me hear you say it
                            C   G   D
Well, I wanna hear you say it
                              Em   C  G      D
Well, let me hear you say yeah (yeah, yeah, yeah)
        Em  C   G     D
Say yeah (yeah, yeah, yeah)

And then finish the whole thing up by repeating the chorus, and conclude with a nice C5 D5

When put together you play this (the conventional rock n roll anthem recipe):
Intro
Verse
Pre Chorus
Chorus
Verse
Pre Chorus
Chorus
Bridge
Solo
Pre Chorus
Interlude
Repeat Chorus

Cheers,

Max

“Sun Tea”

November 19th, 2009

This is “Green Week” on NBC, which means that every show has some sort of environmental sustainability storyline in it. And while the shows did similar episodes a few seasons ago (The Office did its “Survivorman” parody and 30 Rock did the great “Greenzo”), it’s a well that has quite a bit of content in it, depending on how the shows wants to go about it.

While The Office (which I won’t be reviewing tonight, although I’ll probably throw some thoughts onto the end of the page) simply used it as a theme for the cold open (as it did with Halloween), 30 Rock takes a more continuous and as a result scattered approach. Giving Kenneth the task of “greening” 30 Rock felt forced, and while the episode wanted to try to make it seem subversive and clever the show has done too many similar things before.

However, continuing last week’s improvement on the season as a whole, this week had a cohesive point of view if we ignore the environmental side of things, presenting two stories that allowed for both some brilliant absurdity and actions which are driven by character rather than plot. And, just when you think that the environmental story is entirely worthless, the show spins off a few random parts of other scenes into the storyline and helps bring everything full circle in a sequence that actually is as clever as it wants it to be.

Plus, Teddy Ruxpin was a frakkin’ lawyer.

Yes, that was really the episode’s highlight: the idea that Kathy Geiss was being represented in a court of law by a talking Teddy Ruxpin doll who simply wants to be the media’s friend. It was the season’s most hilarious cutaway, the kind of scene that makes you pause and laugh, which is what 30 Rock needs when its plots aren’t working as well as they could. Ultimately here, Jack’s story was actually quite strong, as the public scandal facing Don Geiss forces him to consider avoiding having children in order to ensure he has no similar situations in his future. If Jack had been in the storyline alone, perhaps it would have been too simple, but pairing him with Tracy (who always wants a vasectomy so that he can tell dirty stories) is always, always a good idea. Morgan and Baldwin play off of each other amazingly well, and they had some great material here.

Baldwin was strong throughout, sure, but I definitely think Morgan was the star here. I got a huge kick out of the “I know what that means”/”Then why won’t you tell me?!” exchange between Tracy and Tracy Jr., and the “Well I hope he made me an Acrosshelmet too” line was a stroke of genius. I like these stories because they humanize characters that are both heartless and absurd at the same time, and while this was no “Rosemary’s Baby” I thought that both actors were having a lot of fun, and anything that involves Dr. Leo Spaceman (who didn’t get a huge one-liner [okay, "what about CHEERS lied to me" killed] but did get a number of marvelous line ridings for Chris Parnell) is going to be worth our time.

As for Liz’s central storyline, it was well-executed and I enjoyed Nate Corddry. It’s not what one would call the most well-developed storyline in the world, but I enjoyed how its simple structure kept escalating as Liz goes through all of her known strategies for getting people out of apartments, discovering along the way that this guy happens to be immune to all of them. I was particularly taken with Dot Com’s performance as an angry ex-boyfriend, primarily because of the continuity of his desire to be taken as a serious actor, and also because of his obscure Warren Moon reference. Yes, “Episode 210″ did “Liz Buys an Apartment” better, but the final resolution (“The Frank”) working and giving her a chance to create a two-level apartment (and tying in an earlier scene that seemed odd otherwise) finished a storyline that was on occasion very funny and throughout a fine comic showcase for Tina Fey’s ability to ham it up a little.

As for Kenneth’s green challenge, it was clever throughout which is all you can really ask. I’m more than tired of the show winking to the audience, like the “Green Peacock” moment, but I thought two things worked really well. The first were the two NBC Celebrity pamphlets: they were really simple jokes, but having Kenneth read them out really made them hit home, and I particularly found the FNL one (“My show is about football. There’s a football team called the Chargers. You should unplug your chargers”) funny for some reason. And, most importantly for the storyline, it ended with another appearance by Al Gore, which was certainly more instructive (to the point of feeling preachy) but then ended on a joke that was too cute by half, but so cute that it didn’t matter. The recycling (get it? GET IT?!) of the joke from “Greenzo” was a nice touch, and if they’re going to preach I’d rather they do it with a wink like that.

Not brilliance, but a couple of big laughs and some nice storyline balance – I’ll take it.

Cultural Observations

• As for The Office, the episode continued the trend of showing Jim becoming used to Michael’s role (and who didn’t want Ryan to be put in his place), and didn’t show us much new on the Dunder Mifflin side (except, as Jaime Weinman pointed out on Twitter, that the show is arguably offering a better analysis of NBC’s current leadership failure/corruption than 30 Rock’s more blatant digs at NBC are).
• I enjoy that Jenna notes that Liz’s plan is something that she would do if she were smarter. The episode had a number of nice details with Jenna, in fact: both her variation on Jack’s joke about Manhattan Real Estate and her observation that Liz’s plan sounds like something she would do if she were smart, plus the idea that she has an item more personal than an erotic device plugged into an extension cord.
• On a more serious and more random note, should Next to Normal end up running long enough for Alice Ripley to leave, there was a moment when Jenna was faking her suicidal tendencies where I realized that Krakowski dialed down could probably play certain parts of that role (if not up to Ripley’s standard, of course). Just an observations.
• Seriously, Teddy Ruxpin as a lawyer? Amazing.

Indie group, House Rulez, are always making hot beats fused with electronica and with their new album, the tracks only get hotter and better from here.

The five track mini album includes two brand new songs, “Cheers!” and “After Party.” Not one to miss any awesome remixes, the new album already features a remix of the rockin’ melody dubbed as “Cheers!”

House Rulez is one of the few bands, I personally never get tired of, and their music legacy continues to grow with each developing song!

Enough words! Click the audio below!

here are three things that i found this week.

this memory.
it’s so fourth grade, i know.
but some things never change, and
well. i just hope
everyone can laugh loud and long this weekend.

–
this image.
crocheted AND it wears a button!
i am in the market for one of these. i’d like
to fancy that mug-snuggie right into my hands.

oh man. that is one lucky mug.

–
this soundtrack.
straight from nigeria. if you
don’t click this song on repeat at some point today,
i might think you don’t have any groove inside your soul.

As followers of the financial superhero Dave Ramsey, my wife and I are both allotted $10 each at the beginning of every week for what is called “blow money.” We can waste it on whatever we want: going out for lunch (instead of bringing our lunch to work), buying a CD, picking up a magazine at the book store, anything that would fall under the category of “disposable income”.

Because it’s evitable we all blow money each week. It keeps us from going crazy. Besides, we all “deserve it”. But my wife and I are putting perimeters on this human tradition. In the terminology of a child, it’s our weekly allowance. The rest of our income is for our needs (groceries, gas, etc.) and paying off our debts. No exceptions.

In the past year since we started doing this, my “blow money” has mainly been spent on the cheapest coffee available at Starbucks ($1.75 with tax). Taking the five minute drive during my lunch break as my workday escape. Sitting in a comfy leather chair, reading a book, sipping what truly is wonderful coffee.

And really, I must admit that a major reason I frequented Starbucks is because all of the staff there knew me by name. There is much truth in the lyric from the Cheers theme song, “You want to go where everybody knows your name.” But like any fast food joint (which Starbucks definitely is, just an upscale version of one), the place has an extremely high turnover in staff.

I realized last week all the people I knew there have gone on. And I just don’t feel like starting over with a new cast of characters. So as of last week, I stopped going.

Conveniently at the same time, I learned that the new office I now work in is a two minute walk from a beautiful walking park. So now I can take a nature walk (comparable to a state park) during my lunch break and read outside at a picnic table next to the flowing creek beside me. And when it’s too cold, I can walk an extra five minutes to Barnes and Noble and get the warm atmosphere I liked so much at Starbucks.

So now each week I use less gas, get more exercise, see the great outdoors, and don’t waste $10 a week on coffee.  And now I’ve converted back to work coffee, bringing in good creamer from home like Spiced Vanilla.  Still, work coffee is pretty awful. I entitle it “Cigarettes: The Drinkable Version”.

” Mommy and Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaady! I want to toast with you guys!!”

“Ok. Cheers, buddy.”

“Cheers, sweetie.”

“CHEERS for your STINKY EARS and my dirty feet that I want you to eat.”

Hmm,,,,, toe jam on quail. Delicious.

We recieved such a great response to last week’s newsletter that we had to add a part 2 and focus again on gestures, a form of non-verbal communication. Have you ever been scolded for not covering your mouth while yawning or talking during your dinner? Since these gestures are natural, we are often not aware of their impact on others.

Many of these courtesies and nonverbal cues can be traced back to the Middle Ages, to the era of kings and queens, chivalry and knights in shining armor. Some were created to be courteous, some were meant to be symbolic, and some were simply matters of logic. Let’s learn the significance of some of these…

The Story Behind The Handshake
An empty hand presented forward to another person, and receiving the same response, was the easiest and most recognizable way to show the other person that you weren’t holding a weapon! Therefore, a handshake meant they were going to talk instead of fight.

Let’s Salute
If a knight in a suit of full armor wanted to talk with a friend, he would have to remove the barrier, i.e., lift his visor. His hand thus ended up at his forehead to lift the visor. A salute indicated lifting the helmet visor, so that the knight could talk instead of fight.

Yawning? Cover Your Mouth!
This has two logics to it. On a religious level if you yawned, with your mouth wide open, the Devil could reach right in and yank out your soul. Secondly, in the Middle Ages bathing was considered unhealthy, so most of the peasants and nobility stank badly. So it seemed logical to cover one’s mouth while yawning.

Raising a Toast
Toast and clinking of glasses together was originally done so that when the glasses clinked, the drinks sloshed together on impact. This meant that whatever was in one drink passed into both glasses. So if someone was planning to drug a friend, he too would get some!

Keep Your Elbows Off The Table!
Why is it rude? First thing to bear in mind is that back in the old days people sat down to dinner, squeezed into a long table that was set into a row. This meant that each person was packed very tightly in between the people on either side of him, and simply didn’t have much room to eat. The elbows weren’t allowed on the table because if someone had their elbows on the table, the other people couldn’t eat.

Consult with Protocol, Inc. for more information and history on nonverbal communication.  We love hearing from you by email and would appreciate you subscribing to our newsletter by adding your name and email by clicking here “Sign Up for the Polished Professional“and send this newsletter to your friends who care about their professional image. 

Let us know if our organization would like a discounted holiday workshop in November or December.  A Protocol, Inc. gift to you!

Toast

Toast after toast
we struggle to find something
worth cheers,
till Emiliano says,
“Here’s to all the awkward toasts,
when the only thing that needs to be said is
I love you bruh.”

It’s about a small group of our class..which hails from outside Punjab..some touch Meerut and  few from Haryana ..and one of them covers 20 hrs journey from jhasi..it was bit slow in knowing them as i was influenced by the character more powerful than them..or i was a bit resistive in knowing them..but as glasses cheer’s..distances are covered in no time..and all secrets are revealed..

he is always ready for a small party..with a bottle and glasses with a roasted chicken…going against his culture..its good as i read it somewhere..if you don’t like the culture make your own..sensible and open hearted..always ready for everything..never heard him complaining..except tuesday’s  i guess…where i even get loose on..he is quite strong in making other feel comfortable..during the toughest days in a students life..and when you cover everything just to review others…

not much into opposite gender…yet enjoying them on screen..he has a bit of something in everything..gr8 person to talk to..and moreover an appreciable character of our class…

i did cracked a few jokes..when i meet him the first time..i thought he might hate me after that..and still took time to get
along..still figuring out..things about them..handshakes are turning into small parties..and being a days-key..hostlers are tough to be known.. or you can say..i am not too much in guys..

but only i could say..its only similarities that can get you along..to know more about each other..and yet a trust laid upon..still something is not complete..with rest..

The whole concept of hate crimes is insipidly inane. Murdering someone because of their race or sexual orientation isn’t any worse than murdering someone for any other reason. Either way it’s murder. Hate crimes are just a branch of the vapid political correctness tree.

I think television died a two part death for me. The first part came on May 20, 1993…the last episode of Cheers. The final blow was the demise of Seinfeld on May 14, 1998. I just haven’t given a damn about scripted prime time television since those two events occurred.

Comedian David Cross was recently bragging that he snorted coke…the drug not the cola…at the White House Correspondents Dinner mere feet from President Hussein Obama. Oh where to begin?? First of all, the only reason Cross was there was because he is inexplicably dating cute actress Amber Tamblyn. Yeah, you’ve probably never heard of her either. Both are so far down on the relevance scale that they are barely worth writing this sentence. Cross’ career highlight was cancelled TV show Arrested Development, a show so fantastic and popular it was…well…cancelled. Secondly, what kind of a society do we live in where such an illegal act is not only not frowned upon but put on a pedestal?? There is no doubt in mind that the same intellectually vacant societal succubuses that thought it was funny that Letterman cheated on the mother of his child with a professional subordinate will find it hysterical that Cross “got away with” snorting coke at The White House. Amongst this group will likely be the approximately 3 dozen people who ever bothered to watch Arrested Development and the even smaller group of losers who wasted their $$ at the local cineplex for Cross’ live action Chipmunks film. And finally…way to go White House security. Not even I can pin this one on Hussein Obama. I almost feel sorry for him. How safe is he supposed to feel if it’s so easy to commit a felony within feet of him, at an official White House function??

The older I get the more I embrace short stories over long novels. It seems like my attention span is decreasing.

The shootings at Fort Hood and an office building in Orlando are tragic stories, situations that I cannot even fathom. I believe more details will come out about the Fort Hood situation, but thus far it looks like a Muslim with atleast some anti-American feelings decided to handle things in precisely the way The Koran tells its followers to. It’s scary to think that the armed forces can be infiltrated like that. And I’m sick and tired of politically correct apologists who keep defending Islam and saying it’s a truly peaceful religion with a few overzealous nutjobs. That’s just not the case. Maybe those folks who have the knee jerk reaction of soft selling the reality haven’t been paying attention, but I have and I’m not afraid to call a spade a spade. Islam seems to have more than its fair share of violent zealots. As far as the Orlando shootings…it was a disgruntled former employee. That’s certainly not new or unique, but it’s never been something I’ve been able to grasp. I’ve been on both sides…..having to fire people and having been fired myself. It gave me no great joy to have to do it and not for one second do I believe the folks who did it to me got any kind of perverse pleasure in their task. It’s not personal, it’s just business. For someone to get so angry about it that they take innocent lives is just something I will never understand.

I’d honesty forgotten that football legend Lawrence Taylor matriculated at the University of North Carolina until he showed up at one of their televised games.

The just released 3D motion capture animated version of A Christmas Carol starring Jim Carrey is amazing. It’s stays fairly true to the book and is rather dark and disturbing in places. I enthusiastically recommend it for all moviegoers and especially fans of the classic novella and/or Christmas movies in general. However, I recommend leaving the crumb crunchers at home. Just because it’s animated doesn’t mean it’s kid friendly.

I think it is entirely within the realm of possibility that within a few decades physical attendance at school may be purely voluntary. I envision an Internet based home schooling system (government approved of course) where a child has a curriculum to complete at home at their own pace, meaning an intelligent, driven child could conceivably graduate high school by their early teens. Conversely, a lazy, academically challenged person may not finish until they are legal adults. Either way it will drastically reduce demand for teachers, eliminate the necessity for upkeep of older school buildings and the construction of new ones, minimize health and security risks (think swine flu & Columbine), and utilize a reward system in which the smart go getters are able to move forward with their lives much sooner. I’m not saying this is all gonna happen tomorrow, but don’t be surprised if you see a version of this scenario on some scale within your lifetime.

This just in: both Sting (the singer, not the wrestler) and Bono are idiots.

Just a note: this is not a list of my personal favorites. I am trying to step back from this list and be as objective as possible. These shows are ranked on importance and impact as well as quality. I have a feeling there will be a lot of disagreement with this one, but that’s the way it goes.

10. Star Trek (1966-1969)

In many ways Star Trek is bigger than a television series (and I don’t just mean because it went on to make 10, almost 11, feature films as well). It had a vision and scope that really went beyond. Star Trek was a forum for ideas and a medium to promote acceptance and harmony. It challenged the modern ideas of race relations and had a vision of a united Earth who focused the positive advancement of knowledge. And as for the science fiction aspect, it truly set a standard of innovative ideas and philosophies for the entire genre.

9. Sesame Street (1969-present)

Is there anyone born after the 1960’s whose childhood was not influenced by Jim Henson’s Sesame Street? Okay, maybe there were, but not many I would wager. Sesame Street was able to use the television medium for a purpose: to make learning fun. TV was turning out to be simply a way of life for children, for better or for worse. So Sesame Street did what it could to make it for better.
Sesame Street has introduced loads of memorable characters into the north American cultural fabric: Big Bird, Bert & Ernie, Cookie Monster, Grover, Snuffleupagus, Oscar the Grouch, and the list goes on. Sesame Street has tackled subjects as rudimentary as counting and spelling to such subjects such as death. Sesame Street has been a staple of childhood for decades.

8. 60 Minutes (1968-present)

Investigative television journalism at its peak. 60 minutes has been around for 40 years and has done some very important investigation, as well as been embroiled in much controversy. None the less, it is an important staple of American television.

7. Cheers (1982-1993)

Cheers is the prime example of how a formulaic situation comedy can be great if all of the pieces fit; the characters, the writing, the chemistry between the actors, all at the top of their game There is a reason it was the most popular show out there for almost a decade. Sam, Diane, Norm, Cliff, Carla, Woody; everyone knew their name.

6. The Honeymooners (1955-1956)

The Honeymooners was able to lay a foundation for television comedy beyond simply being the show that The Flintstones is based on. Jackie Gleason and his cast created a show which was both rip-roaringly hilarious and incredibly sweet at the same time. A classic in every sense of the word.

5. Seinfeld (1989-1998)

The ’show abuot nothing’ revolutionized TV comedy and ingrained itself into popular culture. Seinfeld gave us one ofd television’s greatest characters in George Costanza and gave slapstick comedy a new name with Cosmo Kramer. Sure it was outrageous and over-the-top at times, but that’s all a part of its charm. Even though its been off the air for ten years, Seinfeld remains master of its domain.

4. All in the Family (1971-1979)

Archie Bunker is one of the most colourful and important characters in television history. Why? Because he was able to bring out the prejudices f our society out for all to see. For some he was able to show that maybe they weren’t that different from him after all. He made we as an audience face our own biases. All in the family was an important show when it aired and its legacy is still important today.

3. I Love Lucy (1951-1960)

Not including Lucy on this list would be like AFI not including Casablanca in their top ten. I personally am not a big fan of I Love Lucy, but it is an undeniable classic which laid a foundation for television comedy, and television in general, for the next fifty years.

2. M*A*S*H* (1972-1983)

Mash blurred the lined of drama and comedy, using the Korean War as its backdrop. Mash was an incredibly funny show with something to say. Sure it could be melodramatic at times, but usually it managed to hit just the right note. The characters are memorable as are the ideals they struggled to maintain in the chaos of war.

1. The Simpsons (1989-present)

When it comes to television, The Simpsons is almost on a different plane than all other shows. The Simpsons has carved out a unique place for itself in pop culture. Not only are Homer, Bart, Marge and Lisa Simpson household names, but even the dozens of supporting characters are very widely known: Mr. Burns, Moe the bartender, Chief Wiggum, Groundskeeper Willie, Sideshow Bob, Duffman, and the list goes on and on and on.
The Simpsons is comedic genius. The first half of the shows long and successful run of almost 20 years is simply untouched it terms of quality in the writing. The greatest episodes of the Simpsons are simply some of the greatest episodes of TV period. And there are many, many of these great episodes. Simpsons manages to find just the right balance between slapstick humour and social satire which allows this show to be vastly layered in its levels of humor.
The Simpsons is simply the greatest television show ever.

Si yo fuera el capo Pablo Escobar, que quemó 2 millones de dólares, porque su hija tenía frío… Gritaría al mundo… ¡Qué pasa! ¿No queremos todos los padres lo mejor para nuestros hijos? ¿Tú, qué hubieras hecho? ¿Poner calefacción? ¡Qué vulgares sois!

Si yo fuera fumador, en plena crisis… ¿Aprendería a liar tabaco? ¿Convocaría manifestaciones en contra de las leyes? ¿Fabricaría el cigarro más grande del mundo y lo plantaría en el centro del Santiago Bernabéu?

Si yo fuera Julián Muñoz, y tuviera que dejar el chalet de la Pantoja… Lo haría vestido de faralaes, acariciando las notas que salen de mi saxo. Puro Jazz.

Si yo fuera un marciano, entre las miles de preguntas sobre la Humanidad que me vendrían a la cabeza, y otras tantas, que Mafalda me habría susurrado al oído… Que bien podrían ser, las típicas de… ¿Por qué un muerto anónimo en un país desarrollado tiene más repercusión que 100 mil en uno pobre? ¿Inventarán la forma de escapar de este planeta, antes de destruirlo? Me quedaría con una. Sólo una. ¿Por qué se organizan tan mal, si en este planeta, todos podrían ser felices? Y Mafalda, contestaría… ¿No será que en este mundo hay cada vez más gente, y menos personas?

Si fuera Francisco Ayala, me preguntaría… ¿Por qué? ¿He recibido el reconocimiento que me he ganado? ¿Tanto esfuerzo mereció la pena? ¿Por qué la vida es tan corta? ¿Me echarán de menos? ¿Me olvidarán? ¿Me leerán? ¿Qué será de mi familia?

Si yo fuera Jose Luis López Vázquez, viajando en el mismo tren que Ayala, también iría acompañado por una maleta de preguntas esenciales, para que el barbas me las contestase… ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué la vida es tan corta? ¿Me echarán de menos? ¿Verán mis películas? ¿Valorarán mis interpretaciones? ¿Qué será de mi familia? ¿Tanto esfuerzo mereció la pena?

En el fondo, nos parecemos mucho, ¿no? Pero las formas son muy importantes. Trascendentales.

Si yo fuera Norah Jones, y acabo de sacar nuevo disco, tan guapa como siempre… No pararía de cantar y tocar el piano. El mundo es mejor cuando ella crea su música…

Si yo fuera alguien inteligente, me preguntaría… ¿Por qué en España conocemos al dedillo las correrías de Julián Muñoz y pensamos que Lévi-Strauss es una marca de pantalones?

Si yo fuera una estrella del fútbol, y jugara en la liga española… Me prepararía para el bocado que nos va a meter Hacienda. Qué injusticia, roban a los ricos, para que vivan los pobres… ¡Que vuelva Aznar! ¡O Felipe II!

Si yo fuera Hugh Jackman, disfrutaría del título de “El hombre vivo más sexy del planeta”… Aunque no es lo mismo, serlo cuando estás casado, ¿No. Hugh? A veces, ni siquiera las buenas noticias, llegan en el mejor momento…

Si yo fuera policía en Cleveland, y hubiera descubierto los 10 cadáveres en el jardín del asesino… Necesitaría 10 años para recuperarme de la impresión… ¡Ya no hay hombres como los de antes! ¿Cómo se puede ser tan frío y cruel?

Si yo fuera una ráfaga de viento… También me pasaría por el Cantábrico. Aunque tuviera que hacerlo a 100 kilómetros por hora…

Si yo fuera metroTextual, que no lo soy… ¡Ah! ¿Quién demonios, se dedica a inventarse estas palabras? ¿Por qué gustan tanto las etiquetas? ¡Ah!

Si yo fuera Güemes, consejero de Sanidad de la Comunidad de Madrid… Que en su página web, dice, que un gay es un homosexual con estudios que, haciendo uso de sus conocimientos, consigue prebendas políticas y subvenciones del erario público, con la anuencia de toda la izquierda española… Iría un paso más allá, y pondría la definición de maricón…

Si yo fuera Kristie Alley, una actriz olvidada y descuidada, que se ha visto obligada a perder peso en un reality, para que los focos se giren hacia mí… Y encima, como la dignidad estaba de rebajas, comprometiendo a mis hijos adolescentes para que aparezcan en pantalla… Viajaría nuevamente a Boston, y sentada en la barra de un viejo bar, tomando una cerveza, reflexionaría dos segundos… ¿Todo vale por dinero? ¡Cheers!