Last fall, I was invited to a party at the home of a couple I did not know after a really long cook and style photo shoot. It was one of those friend of a friend affairs that was ambiguous as to whether it was a Chex Mix and Cheez Itz, stumbling home, starving and anticipating the BIG hangover kind of night or a dinner party. I just didn’t know. I was tired, hungry and hoping to be fed.

I arrived at a spacious and beautifully decorated loft on Bond Street starving and desperately scanning the room for acceptable edibles. I was relieved that there wasn’t a tortilla, potato or corn chip in sight but lovely cheeses, olives, crackers and spicy jellies, good wine and chocolate were all within reach. At the very least I’d earn my hangover drinking too much expensive wine and under filling my belly on gourmet snacks.

When I found my way to the kitchen, the counter was covered with bowls of chopped veggies, cheeses, meats and breads. On the stove were heavy cast iron grill pans, a big cup of olive oil and basting brush…I was at a panini party. I had heard about these but had never attended one and thought…great…someone will custom cook me a sandwich…just what I need.

Of course, my friends had innocently told our hosts all about what I did for a living. I was the only “food professional” there so I was expected to take a turn at the stove and the expectations were high…so after I shot a few gee thanks glances at my crowd, I took my no-longer anonymous skills to the grill. So much for partying after a long day at work. I wondered if accountants ended up at parties where people crunch numbers for fun.

Everyone who had gone to the stove to that point had done well with the available ingredients, but I decided I needed an edge. Feeling the pressure to be creative, I raided the fridge before it was my turn in order to come up with something worthy of the hyperbolic praise my friends had given my culinary skills. I grabbed an apple, a banana, a bar of dark chocolate, some Gruyère, prosciutto and a fresh baguette and surprisingly, I was starting to have a little fun. My first panini was a transition from savory to sweet as I pressed the prosciutto with Gruyère and thinly sliced Fuji apples. This wasn’t so miserable and felt nothing at all like work. I was enjoying the kitchen camaraderie and the foodie dialogue. It felt like a party. My first panini was met with rave reviews and I proceeded to make a dessert panini with freshly sliced bananas and dark chocolate. The banana paninis disappeared so fast I was lucky to get a taste before they were gobbled up. I wiped my brow, took a bow and slipped off my apron…smiling and gratified that cooking could still be fun even after a long day at the stove.

The panini theme was a great way to break the ice with new people and keep a group laughing and having a ball. I spent a good portion of the night lingering in the kitchen tasting other people’s creations, offering tips, getting pointers from some really good cooks and just connecting to newly found friends. The beauty of the panini is that you can put just about anything on good bread, toasted with olive oil and it will be delectable. And, the best part is that you don’t need to be a pro to make a notable panini or an amateur to have a great time doing it.

Cheez it just cheezed me! Pretty cool online cuz you can say stuff with some predetermined lines, or type in your own cheesy line from the movie a la “Beam me up”, “Two for transport”, or “Make it so…” Pretty neat! But my forehead looks like it’s been burnt by some Klingon sunshine. Ya Chris Pine, I’m gunning for your job boyee!

I look better as a Romulan. (Notice the pieced lip!)

Or a Vulcan

But by far, this is the best!

Dear United States Department of Agriculture,

Did you realize that the Food Pyramid was first published in 1992? Sure, I know there are updated versions put out every 5 years, but I’m thinking this “food pyramid” might be a little bit antiquated. Hear me out. It’s very apparent from just one quick glance at the USDA Food Pyramid, that something is lacking.

It’s pretty obvious to me what is glaringly MISSING from this diagram. The CHEEZ-IT cracker food group. I mean, hello? You have an entire section for OILS, fats and sweets? I know what you’re thinking – the cheez it cracker could be considered bread, cereal, rice or pasta. Or maybe it even fits into the cheese and dairy group. But I petition you to consider a group all it’s own. It’s a good cracker with a solid crunch, delicious cheese flavor and plenty of varities to choose from. It stands on it’s own, and there is no other cracker or snack food that compares.

It’s true that the Pepper Jack Cheez It is not the best choice for a breakfast food, especially when accompanied with hot coffee but I won’t make that mistake again. The Pepper Jack Cheez It IS delicious in potato soup – it stays crunchy, not like the saltine cracker which turns to mush, and it has a spicy little kick to it.

My point is simply this, please give the Cheez It some consideration when you update the Food Pyramid again in 2010. One gaze of this salty, cheddar-y, crunchy little square, followed by some careful deliberation and taste testing, and I think you will agree with me.

Sincerely,

A Cheez It obsessed but totally normal cracker consumer

Snacks

Mmm. Snacks! We all love them. So, what’s up with the snack thing in Resource? Well, we are trying to get healthier snacks in. Harper and Zach even did a research project on Sugar (way healthier than HFCS) and High Fructose Corn Syrup (not healthy), respectively. We learned that sugar comes from Sugar Cane and that HFCS is made from transformed corn syrup. In the past week, we had Apples and Nutri-Grains. Let’s see if the healthy movement goes on!

When Vanessa Hudgen’s nude pic was blasted across the interweb, all I could think was damn, constant sexless upbeat dance numbers will do that to your junk. You’re really hot, all high school pubicals aside…but everytime you google search yourself and your pubes spring up on your browser, this thought will weigh heavy on your mind, ‘Shoulda shaved that fucker.’

Tosh.O unleashed a force to be reckoned with, a jungle no match for a machete(let alone a razor, amirite?), basically This nutter, Demi Moore was taking the expression ‘bright eyed and bushy-tailed’ wayyyy too literally. If you study this picture, her vagina is nonexistent; it fought hard, but it was consumed by the tangles and overgrowth; it’s rumoured if you travel far enough in you will find a pack of comfortably housed howler monkeys.

Here is a close up on the picture, the bundle of pubes is actually just Demi feeding cheez-its to her furry little friend.

I’m not even going to link the original pic.

Munch on THAT, readers!

Ever wondered why RSS Feeds look funky in Google Chrome? Drag this link to your bookmarks bar and watch the video to see what happens next. Also, click the HD button to watch it in HD!

Views: 12,419,728                                            Rating: Ratings disabled

Streaming is provided by YouTube, a division of Google. Video made and produced by Zach Vega on October 2, 2009.

New Domain

The new TRL domain has changed from theresourcelegend.wordpress.com to theresourcelegend.com! The old address will come to this site, so don’t worry if you forget. We are also proposing a TRL Bash later on this month.

LL’s Fate

We know the Ladybug Legend. Some of us like it. The question is though: Will it last? In order for it to last, the LL has to add more features. Some people use the excuse “We don’t have enough time!”. However, comparing the time the computer is open to the people that are actually using it, about 1/2 the time you would see someone using a computer. Actually using it would unlock a chest of new features. Just to answer the question, yes it will last.

Book Report Update

It’s coming sooner than we thought, isn’t it? Believe it or not, the book report is due on Wednesday. We also have to dress up. A project is not required. A review will be posted here and on the TRL Facebook and Twitter.

Well, well. We might actually have a decent football team on our hands here in Title Town.  The first half was eerily reminscent of that “Oh shit what’s happening!?!” feeling (see: Sugar Bowl, 2009), but the Tide pulled it through in the second half.  McElroy really seemed to come into is own, Mark Ingram was an absolute hoss, and the defense is as advertised.  It will be good to have a light next few weeks, but Nick Saban isn’t taking it lightly. Just ask him.

I posed the question of what will be the bigger story, Auburn with a potential loss to La. Tech or Alabama’s match with Va. Tech.  I don’t think there’s any question that the majority of the buzz surrounding college football is coming out of Tuscaloosa this week.  To be fair, I didn’t see a snap of the Auburn game, but it appears they somewhat handled La. Tech.  So I guess that means we have to start calling him 6-19 Gene. That’s such an improvement, right Barn?

I don’t know much about Alabama’s Week 2 opponent Florida International, except thanks to Coach Saban’s presser, #4 is pretty good.

Here’s to a 4 day week, the first weekend of tailgating on the Quad, and returning to Bryant Denny.

Cheez-it thinks she is still small enough for shoulder rides.

Cheez-it is definitely the queen of the bunch.  She’s the first one to get the scraps we throw out the window into the chicken yard and is always eager to see what’s going on.

Cheez-it Asks for Treats

Sweet Peep (on top of the trash can–which holds their feed) is our favorite hen.  She gives us a green egg every day in summer despite the fact that she is almost six years old.  She injured her leg a couple of years ago and we thought we might lose her, but after a couple of weeks she was better.  She does have a bit of a limp, though.

I ran to Target for a few items today and came home with 72% in savings with sales and coupons.

• Electrasol dishwasher detergent ($4.29) – $1 Target coupon (tc) – $2.50 manufacturer coupon (mc) = $.79
• 3 Reach dental floss ($1.02 ea) – $3/3 mc = $.02 each
• 2 Ocello sponge ($1.89 ea) – $1/2 mc = $1.39 ea
• 2 Cheerios snack packs (reg $2.64) $1.50 – $1/2 mc = $1 ea
• Cheez-it (reg $2.54) $1.75 – $.75 tc = $1
• Oscar Mayer deli turkey (reg $2.89) $2.39 – $.50 tc -$.75 mc = $1.14
• Stouffers frozen lasagna (reg $6.84) $3.99 – $1 tc = $2.99
• Betty Crocker brownie mix (reg $1.72) $.89
• Renu travel size contact solution ($1.52) – $1 mc = $.52
• Children’s cereal bowl (reg $1) $.50
• Goldfish crackers (reg $1.79) $1
• Used $5/$25 Target coupon

Spent $10.12, Saved $24.84

I should start by saying that I am not a fan of CHEEZ-ITS. I know, shocking, right? They are comprised of three of my all-time favorite flavors: salty, cheesy, and crackery…but for some reason, CHEEZ-ITS are just not my thing.

So, when my Step Mom Wendy brought some down with her on her last visit, I gotta tell ya, I was a little wary. Then, I looked closer at the box. These were no ordinary CHEEZ-ITS, amigos…these were tiny Scrabble tile Scrabble Junior CHEEZ-ITS. Wendy and I are huge, insanely-competitive Scrabble nerds — don’t even get me started on Lexulous! — so suddenly, this gift from the north made a whole lot more sense.

And for some reason, these CHEEZ-ITS tasted a whole lot better than usual. I don’t know if it was the fact that you could spell fun words with them before you ate them or whatever, but, man alive, these crackers tasted awesome!

Anyway…I have no idea how long the Scrabble Junior promotion will last, so, if you love word games as much as we do, then hurry on down to the store and pick up some of these rocking little CHEEZ-ITS for yourself.

Oh yeah, and just for the record, they do not have blank tile crackers…I checked.

It is carbohydrate, protein, and dairy: three food groups in one. It is the perfect food. I could exist on a diet consisting of nothing but Cheez-Its and beer.

Alternately, I could eat one bowl of whole wheat Total™ (to receive my day’s supply of essential vitamins and nutrients) and one-thousand Tic Tacs (to fulfill my caloric needs). To this I would also add beer, not necessarily for its well-established nutritional benefits but mostly because I like it.

Cheez-Its (and beer): it’s what’s for dinner™.

cheez-it actually stole their commercials from this lady.  there is a lawsuit in progress.

Although some of you, no doubt, are expecting that I’m going to admit that eating an entire soft shell crab was a gross thing for me to do, I can admit that I have sunk far, far lower on the grossness scale.

When I was about 6 years old, I thought that spray cheese (I believe my preferred brand was called Squeeze-A-Snack) was the best treat in the world. Every once in a while, my mom would buy a tube for my brother and I and we’d squeeze it onto crackers, our fingers and, yes, sometimes directly into each other’s open mouths. It was gross, gross, gross but we thought it was fantastic!

(Truthfully, I cringe just typing out this account — that stuff was so filled with preservatives that now when people sometimes comment about how few wrinkles I have for my age, I can’t help but wonder if the Squeeze-a-Snack is the cause.)

In the last 35 years, I’ve changed my mind about eating processed stuff like squeeze cheese; but my mother, finding some in Florida recently, brought me this can as a blast from the past. That she spent money on it is disturbing; however, having the can on my desk for a few weeks has led to some very funny conversations and more than a few worried looks from visitors!

After taking this snapshot, Sabrina and I tried these crackers and neither of us could take a second bite. As Sabrina aptly observed, this “cheese” tasted like a plastic version of the powder inside a package of Kraft Dinner but with more salt. Yeah, it was that good. Blech.

What’s the grossest thing you’ve eaten and loved for even a short time? Was it a childhood fancy, a drunken mistake or a matter of being under the spell of an exotic place or person?

Cheez-its > Cheese Nips

Since some of 4th grade was at Riverside Tennis Center, there will be some Mystery Presentations given on Thursday. The puzzle was due as well for 4th graders on Friday, and four out of five of the fourth graders had them done at the due date. The presenting will happen the same with the 4th graders as the 5th graders.  No ‘non-puzzle’ project is required for the presentations.

On April 23rd, the 3rd through 5th graders will be going to the Young People’s Concert. The admission slips were sent home in October for both the concert in November and the concert coming up.

Mark and I took the Fredster to the beach the other day for some swim lessons.  Fred looked like a little muskrat swimming in a river mouth at Cardiff beach.  He was a brave little dude.  Maybe someday he will learn to love the water.  After his lesson he rewarded himself with cheez-its.