If you know me in real life, then it’s fairly apparent from my significant hind end that I don’t just look at food—I eat it.  However, when I’m not busy cramming food into my pie hole, I do enjoy watching Food Network (FN). It’s fairly entertaining, tolerable when nothing else is on, often educational, and always family friendly.  I don’t have to worry about my daughter walking in on two sous-chefs ripping off their aprons and going at it on the counter or a crazed Mario standing over Alton Brown’s corpse with a bloody knife.

We don’t watch every show, because there are some not relevant to our palate, a few that make no sense, one or two that have no entertainment value whatsoever (I’m looking at you Chefs v. City), and a handful with hosts who are just downright annoying. (*cough* Sandra Lee *cough*)

Nevertheless, we’re pretty avid fans of anything A.B. does, FN Challenge (except barbecue—yawn), and Ace of Cakes. (Aside: It used to be, when asked about my “dream job,” I’d say meteorologist—I’m weird, I know—but now I’d probably say working at Charm City Cakes.) But our “must see” favorites are by far Iron Chef America (ICA) and Chopped.

Now for those of you who don’t get cable under your rocks, or spend your TV time watching crap, ICA is the Americanized adaptation of a Japanese TV program featuring “battles” between well-established, celebrity chefs and accomplished, albeit lesser-known, guest chefs. Battles are centered around a certain ingredient, such as a particular species of fish, or variants of a fruit or vegetable, such as cherries.  After a timed session in the kitchen, chefs present their culinary creations to a panel of three judges.  ICA judging panels are typically composed of random third-tier celebrities whose only association with food is that they eat, various other foodies, and food writers like that fat drunk who thinks he’s hilarious but is actually a complete douche bag. The winner gets bragging rights and some level of prestige within the culinary world.

Chopped is designed on a similar premise, pitting four budding chefs against each other in a series of cooking challenges including an appetizer, entree, and dessert.  After each course, a chef is eliminated, or “chopped,” until there are two left battling over dessert.  The twist here is that instead of one secret ingredient, each round is centered on three or four mystery components, several of which have no culinary connection.  For instance, a typical entree round might include shrimp, some random root vegetable from the Middle East, peanut butter, and a tire gauge. The chefs must incorporate all four ingredients into their respective dishes.  The winner here receives $10,000, which is not a bad deal for a couple of crab cakes made from potato chips and shower caulk.  There is also panel of three judges, and their critiques can be…well…brutal, except for Aarooooooooooon  Sanchez, who is, without a doubt, the Paula Abdul of the culinary set. (Your salad looks so nice! You’re a star!)

Anyway, my point (and yes, I do have one) is that competitors on both programs seem to run into the same problems again and again.  And so, in an effort to help any aspiring ICA or Chopped contestants who might stumble upon my rantspace, I’ve developed some helpful hints for success on each program.

Iron Chef America

1.  Pick Bobby Flay.  Nobody ever beats anyone else.  I’m not saying Bobby Flay isn’t a great chef, I’m just saying, if you want to win, picking Cat Cora is a baaaaad idea.  And stay away from Morimoto, too, because if there is fish of any kind, you are screwed. Mario can make pasta out of a dishrag and Michael Symon is just downright scary. Stick with Flay and you’ve got a chance.

2.  Prior to performing in “Kitchen Stadium,” visit a restaurant supply store.  Ask to be demonstrated the uses of each and every gadget in sight.  Pay attention to the little things like how to get the lid off (or on) and where the power switch might be.  And, if possible, ask for remediation with regard to can openers.  I’m not sure how it is that so many quasi-professional chefs are unable to open a can of condensed milk, but there it is.

3.  Stay away from the ice cream machine unless you intend to make actual dessert. Nobody wants to eat spinach sorbet. NOBODY.

Chopped

1. Watch the show.  If I had one piece of advice for ambitious Choppers, it would be this.  WATCH. THE. SHOW.  It’s like the contestants have no clue what’s going on. Durrr what’s this basket…durrr I can’t find the milk…durrr…I grabbed a knife by the blade…If you WATCH THE SHOW, then the rest will naturally follow.

2. Don’t use garnish.  I know, I know, the celery leaves make the plate all pretty pretty princess, but just say no.  Geoffrey and Chris don’t like garnish and won’t hesitate to make you look like an idiot by asking, “Am I supposed to eat this half-a-lemon?”

3.  Practice good hygiene.  This should really go without saying in any kitchen, but on Chopped it is especially crucial, especially if Alex is a judge.  Make no doubt, she is watching you, your spoon, your hands, your mouth and everything in between to see if you commit some unforgiveable germ error.  And for the love of Pete, de-vein your shrimp. PLEASE.

4.  Prior to taping, walk to your home pantry and remove the sugar canister. Bring it to the counter.  Now fetch your saltshaker.  Sprinkle a fifty-cent piece sized pile of salt into one hand. Feel the texture of it with your fingers.  Smell it.  Make note of the obvious scent of sodium.  Look at the crystals.  Now empty your hand and repeat with the sugar. Notice it’s a slightly finer grain.  Perhaps it even smells sweet.  LEARN THE DIFFERENCE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.  I mean, COME. ON.  I am, by no means, a “cook” by any stretch of the imagination.  I am most definitely a kitchen amateur, but in my 25+ years of cooking I have never, ever, EVER mistaken salt for sugar.  Seriously.  How is this even an issue?  If all else fails, and you’re not sure, taste it before you add it.

5.  Refer to Iron Chef America advice item No. 2.  Where it reads, “can opener,” replace with “food processor.”

6. Easy on the hot stuff.  Geoffrey Z. and Amanda have excruciatingly sensitive palates.  If Geoffrey so much as smells cayenne, you’re toast.  And if Amanda reaches for her water glass?  Fugettaboutit.

7.  Stop cutting yourselves.  It’s embarrassing.  I realize it happens to everyone, but please.  Just pay attention to what you’re doing so I don’t have to watch you scurrying around trying to find a Band-Aid and bleeding into the risotto, which, by the way, will never finish cooking in the allotted time.

It has occurred to me that maybe the contestants aren’t as…um…thick…as they seem and perhaps it is the FN production staff just having a bit of fun.  What if we disconnect all but one of that stove’s burners? Hey! Let’s hide the cinnamon!  I know! I know! Turn up the heat in the studio so they can’t stop dripping sweat onto the counter!

Hmmm.  Maybe that’s my dream job.

The New York Post’s Page Six must have someone tailing HSN celebrity chef Todd English. We’re even starting to feel sorry for the guy, even though he allegedly jilted his bride-to-be and left her at the altar the day of their wedding.

Monday’s Page Six, in an item headlined “Face Time,” reports that English, who was on HSN last week with his green cookware, was rebounding well after leaving Erica Lang, his former fiancee.

Page Six says that English was spotted “sucking serious face” with a pretty young thing at the Brass Monkey Bar in Manhattan’s Meatpacking District.

The Post broke the story about English dumping Wang, who got her revenge by giving the tabloid an exclusive about how he was a cad who dumped her on their would-be wedding day.

English responded by filing domestic abuse charges against Wang, whe he claims hit him in the head with his own watch.

HSN fans don’t seem to be holding any of this against him.

This is the most amazing story I have ever seen! A guy who gets a heart transplant, changes his career and life to become a chef, then finds out that he got was the heart of a chef!

By Lincoln Tan : Source NZ Herald

Work-permit-holders in the lower income bracket will find it a lot tougher to put their children in New Zealand schools from next month.

Immigration policy changes taking effect on November 30 will mean children of work-permit- holders under the essential-skills policy who earn $33,675 or less will no longer be considered as domestic students. Parents will therefore have to pay international-student fees if they want their children to study in local schools.

Domestic students enjoy free education, but international students have to pay fees of between $10,000 and $15,000 per child annually to study at primary, intermediate and high schools.

“The minimum income threshold must be met and maintained wholly by the salary or wages of a parent or parents holding the work permit,” Immigration New Zealand said in a circular distributed to immigration advisers.

“This is to ensure that the children have an appropriate level of financial support, given that these families are not eligible for state-funded income support.”

However, an Immigration spokesman told the Herald that children of parents whose initial work permit was issued before the end of this month could carry on with their studies as domestic students.

Migrant Action Trust, a migrant advocacy group, says the changes will just be another “trap” for migrant workers.

“Migrant workers will accept significantly lower pay – way below industry standards in their skilled area – just to cling on to the dream of residency, so many skilled migrant workers fall into the lower salary bracket,” said trust spokeswoman Agnes Granada.

“Because many come here for the sake of their children, they will become victims of this policy change.”

The trust presented a petition last Saturday asking Immigration Minister Jonathan Coleman to grant amnesty for migrant workers who have lost their jobs in the recession.

A spokeswoman for Dr Coleman said the minister couldn’t comment as he had not yet seen the petition, but said the policy changes were aimed at ensuring adequate support for children of temporary migrant workers coming to New Zealand.

“The minimum income threshold helps ensure that essential-skills temporary work-permit-holders have a salary enough to look after a family in New Zealand,” the spokeswoman said. “The threshold is set at the lowest possible level to ensure children are adequately supported.”

In other policy changes taking effect on the same day, a special Philippines work policy will allow a limited number of skilled workers, including 100 nurses, 20 farm managers and 20 engineers, to work in New Zealand at any one time for a period of up to three years.

Immigration NZ said that under the policy, nurses from the Philippines would be able to work for a district health board while obtaining occupational registration.

A separate Vietnam special-work policy will also allow 100 chefs and 100 engineering professionals to work here under the same terms.

Meanwhile, Immigration NZ head Andrew Annakin announced last week that the Pacific division, set up Mary Anne Thompson in 2005 when she headed the service, would be reintegrated back into the core service.

An Auditor-General’s report in June found that problems were worse in the division than elsewhere in the agency, which is part of the Department of Labour.

Ms Thompson resigned last year after accusations of conflict of interest in helping her family members to gain residency.

Labour Department CEO Christopher Blake said the new structure “will ensure clear lines of accountability and that the workings of the Pacific division are aligned with the rest of Immigration New Zealand”.

“Recent review findings have informed the way Immigration New Zealand has organised and identified the requirements to deliver immigration services in the most effective and efficient ways. The change is designed to minimise risks to current work and any uncertainty and instability to the department.”

CHANGES TO IMMIGRATION POLICY

From November 30:

*Children of essential-skills work-permit-holders who earn below $33,675 will no longer be regarded as domestic students.

*Special work policies will allow 100 nurses, 20 farm managers and 20 engineers from the Philippines and 100 chefs and 100 engineers from Vietnam to work here.

*Nurses from the Philippines can now work for a district health board while obtaining New Zealand occupational registration

The Edison Garden Market and Creative Cottage are two added activities at the Edison & Ford Winter Estates on Thanksgiving Weekend.  The Estates will be open on Friday, Saturday and Sunday from 9 AM – 5:30 PM and closed on Thanksgiving Day.

Throughout the weekend more than 30 vendors and the Estates Garden Shoppe will offer a wide variety of unusual plants including heritage plants, orchids, bamboo, bromeliads, fruits, vegetables, roses, edibles and gift items for the garden and home.  Holiday gifts such as the Estates Heritage Herb baskets and other items from the Estates Garden Shoppe will also be available.  The Edison Garden Market is a free event located in the Estates public gardens and the area near the Banyan Tree.  Edison Garden Market hours are Friday, November 27, noon – 5 PM; Saturday, November 28, 9 AM – 5 PM; Sunday, November 29, 9 AM – 3 PM.   

Creative Cottage also opens Thanksgiving weekend in the Edison Caretaker’s House with spectacular work for purchase by regional artists, authors and chefs.  Featured artisan, Norman Love, internationally known award winning chocolatier has created a special “Edison” hand-crafted chocolate in honor of Thomas Edison.  Other artists include:  Leoma Lovegrove, Marie Dyer, Manfred Behr, Karen Flanders, Ellen Sheppard, Virginia Harper, Anita Singh, James DiGiorgio, Lynn Russell, and members of the Southwest Florida Quilter’s Guild.  Creative Cottage will be open 1 PM – 5 PM until December 11.  During the Estates Holiday event, Edison & Ford Holiday Nights, hours will be extended to 9 PM.  Estates members are always admitted free and will receive a 10% discount.  For non members a “shoppers pass” will be issued at the main ticket area.

Rachael, this is what you said: “When people are sick of me they’ll let me know and I’ll go away.”

Guess what…

Sincerely,
Limejuiceboy.

courtesy www.sodahead.com

Rachael Ray-America’s Sweetheart

Here on Celebrity Exile we banish celebrities to islands, where they can bother us no more.  Sometimes we have good reason for it.  Sometimes, it’s more of a personal thing.  My first choice is definitely the latter.  It’s not her cooking or her show or her products that bother me.  No, it’s just her.  Something about Miss Ray just gets under my skin.  You see, to me she’s not the perky, bubbly sweetheart America thinks she is.  No, to me she’s a short, pear-shaped, Joker victim with a two-pack smoker’s voice and the vocabulary of an eight year old.

Let me break this down:

Short:  I’m not going to pretend I know how tall she is, but if I were a betting man, I’d wager she’s no higher than a mailbox at the curb.  Good thing her mouth’s big enough to hold a stack of Ikea catalogs.  More on that in a bit.

Pear-shaped:  This is mean, I know, but it’s there.  For all the world to see.  Stay behind the kitchen island, Rachael.

Joker Victim:  You’ve seen Tim Burton’s Batman, right?  I think Rachael has been mixing her hair spray with a nicotine patch, if you know what I mean.  Her mouth’s bigger than a cantelope slice.

Two-Pack Smoker’s Voice:  This is self explanatory.  That voice of hers is AWFUL.  No self-respecting woman should have a voice deeper than my grandfather’s.  Especially on TV.  You’ve got enough money Rachael.  Find someone to dub your voice.  PLEASE.

Childish Vocabulary:  Delish?  Yummers?  Grow the fuck up, Rachael.

The thing that really worries me is that America’s last sweetheart, Katie Couric, took that smile of hers all the way to the evening news desk on CBS.  I just can’t allow that to happen again.  For that, and all the reasons above, I banish thee, Rachael Ray, to the Island.  Please, PLEASE, never come back.

–Cap’n Blackjack

Some people swear by the brine. How so very 2003. The turkey you get ends up almost like deli meat. Moist, for sure. But I like to be reminded that turkey meat is meat — it should be meaty, not mushy.

Thank the gods for Russ Parsons. (Well, for his friend Judy Rodgers, anyway.) A few years ago, he introduced the world to the “Judy Bird.” It uses the same concept as a brine, but without the water. And, sure, it takes a few days to do, but you’re not one of those people who buys your turkey the night before Thanksgiving, are you?

My experiences are after the jump…

Years ago, I brined. It was an all right turkey. Then in 2005, along came Tom Colicchio’s herb-butter turkey. All I can say is, wow. Sure, it takes a half-pound (OK, a pound for me) of butter. But the infused herb flavor is divine. And it introduced me to tarragon.

Enter Mr. Parsons, one of the most accomplished California food writers still alive. The guy knows everybody from produce growers to high-end chefs. That came in 2006, and Russ and Tom got married. (In the turkey recipe sense, anyway.)

And then was born the perfect turkey. Moist and seasoned from the salting; herbed and moist from the butter. Because it’s me, I tweaked them both. Half a pound of butter, divided? Whatever, Tom…more is better (er, butter?) here. And the Russ recipe needs a couple more tablespoons of salt.

As far as the cooking goes, I could pull a Cooks Illustrated “flip the turkey, say a prayer and curtsy” kind of maneuver, but on Thanksgiving (with three or four hours of roasting and a bazillion other things to do), I usually prefer to set it and forget it. I make sure there’s adequate liquid/fat in the bottom of the roasting pan, of course — if it burns, it can get ugly and stinky — but otherwise, I do the tented foil method of keeping the breast from getting singed while the thighs and legs finish cooking.

I’ll update you on my gobbler’s progress once it starts its long journey to the serving platter. But first I’ve gotta remember to buy it!

ShopNBC apparently has something cooking with the cable network Bravo, but we couldn’t find out many details Wednesday.

During a third-quarter conference call ShopNBC CEO Keith Stewart said that the network is looking to partner with Bravo to sell some of Bravo’s “content” also have a presence on the channel.

“I can’t speak for NBC, but I do talk to them quite frequently, and we are in active conversations to work with some of their properties, like Bravo,” Stewart said. “To the extent that we can sell some of the Bravo content and also be on some of their channels, that will be a cost-effective way to do it.”

Bravo is a unit of NBC Universal, which is expected to be purchased by cable giant Comcast. NBC has a minority stake in ShopNBC.

A raft of the stars of Bravo’s many reality TV stars have lines on home shopping networks. Celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe of “The Rachel Zoe Project” sells clothes and accessories on QVC, and Heidi Klum of Bravo’s former hit, now Lifetime’s “Project Runway,” had a jewelry line on QVC until a suit agains her by Van Cleef & Arpel put the kibosh on that.

Fashion designer Isaac Mizrahi, of Bravo’s “The Fashion Show,” is doing a line of apparel, accessories and home goods that will debut next month on QVC.

On HSN, Ramona Singer of Bravo’s “The Real Housewives of New York City” has a fine jewelry line, while Padman Lakshmi of Bravo’s “Top Chef” is hawking teas and herbs.

On the conference call, Stewart only made one more comment about the potential Bravo arrangement, and ShopNBC wasn’t “adding any color,” as Wall Street analysts say, after the call.

“Now all that said, NBC is a stand-alone unit and they need to make money,” Stewart said. “And we unquestionably need to make money. So to the extent it compromises our margins to you, it would not be a good business decision. But to the extent it does work for both of us, we’ll launch some of the content that NBC will offer.”

General Electric and NBC currently own about 32.5 percent of ShopNBC on a fully diluted basis of 37.6 million shares. NBC’s 6.4 million shares represent 16.8 percent ownership and GE’s 6 million common stock purchase warrants represent 15.7 percent.

Last night, I was lucky enough to be invited to participate in a cooking class at the Viking Cooking School, located inside the Viking store in midtown. This event was a perk that’s associated with my daytime job and happened to tie into my nighttime job (hobby) quite perfectly.

*Updated*
Here’s the menu for the night labeled “Dinner Around the World”:
Tuscan Grilled Vegetable Platter
Thai Spring Rolls with sweet & sour sauce
Roasted Chicken (5 different varieties)
Cuban-style Rice Pilaf with black beans
Chocolate-covered strawberries stuffed with Amaretto cream cheese
And now it’s time for another story by photo segment:

we arrived to some snacks

and drinks

the clean kitchen prior to cooking

our chef gets the lesson started with a raw chicken

Chang and Kenny dove into the poultry preparation

stuffed with an onion, among other things

Brad gets excited by chicken (or knives?)

ready for roasting

Eli gets comfy in his chef whites

and with his knife

the crew preps the ingredients

while some of the guys drink and stand around

Josh gets veggies ready for the grill

and Kim mans the grill

and she grills

and grills

a post-grill rainbow

Don't forget us! Eli and I also grilled

Eli and Josh focus: they learn to make a spring roll

plop in some filling

Kenny demonstrates the roll

ready for the fryer

Kim shows the hollowed strawberries for dessert

tip of the day: use a glass to fill a piping bag

tip of the day demonstrated

berries filled with cream cheese, amaretto, confectioners sugar

chocolate to be melted

Kim and Jenna dip the berries, but the chocolate remains on their hands

taste trumps looks

Brad likes the spread of food

and shows off his personalized plate

spring rolls ready to eat!

chopped chicken

grilled veggies topped with parmigiano cheese

mmmmmmmm

extra desserts that we had nothing to do with

This event was super fun and I highly recommend it for a team-building outing, a girls’(guys’) night out, or just a change of pace activity shared among friends. We ate well, drank plenty, learned a few things, and most importantly – we didn’t clean up a thing!

Full menu will be updated shortly for those who are interested.

The Viking Store
1745 Peachtree Road, NE
Atlanta, GA 30309-2404
404.745.9064
www.thevikingstore.net

When it comes to cooking meals the one thing most Chefs agree on is to use fresh ingredients. All too many people these days have relied on convenience when it comes to cooking. Fast and easy , just hit the closest fast food joint or pop something in the nuker for two minutes and there’s your meal. It’s no wonder there are so many eating disorders and such.

Thankfully in the last few years there has been a resurgence of healthy eating and cooking. Led by Chefs from around the world people have started to actually enjoy planning and preparing meals again. Trying out different ingredients and styles and having a lot of fun.

One of my favorite Chefs these days is Jamie Oliver. He has some fantastic books , tv programs, a great and informative website as well as a cool new app for the iPhone ! The App is called 20 minute meals and is the perfect start for people venturing into the realm of exploring food. The recipes are quick and easy and provide a wonderful variety. There are all sorts of videos including a number on the basics in the kitchen. One of his best books for tackling the issue of this age is : Jamie’s Ministry of Food. The problem facing the UK is the same as North America and this book provides helpful ideas on eating healthier.

Links :

Jamie’s Ministry of Food

Jamie Oliver’s Website

Jamie on Twitter

20 Minute Meals App for the iPhone

American Road Trip

Sample Recipe :  fragrant thai chicken & noodle broth

ingredients

• 600ml chicken stock

• 2 chicken breasts, thickly sliced

• 2 large shallots, thinly sliced

• 1 x large piece galangal, finely julienned

• 2 green chillies, sliced

• 200g rice vermicelli

• 4 small heads pak choi

• Handful mange tout

• Coriander leaves, thai basil and sliced chillies, to garnish

Preparation :

1, Add the stock to a saucepan, bring to the boil, then add the chicken, shallots, galangal and green chillies and lower to a simmer for 8 mins, until chicken is cooked.
2, Add the rice vermicelli, pak choi and mange tout. Cook for 2–3 mins till the noodles are done. Ladle into bowls and sprinkle with the herbs and extra sliced fresh chillies to serve.

fragrant thai chicken & noodle broth

Enjoy and have a happy week !

Namaste ~ william

//

There were several priceless moments on Food Network star Paula Deen’s show Monday evening on QVC, including one that almost had us tearing up along with the charming celebrity cook.

Deen, known for her “Y-all” Southernisms, had a live audience at the QVC studio in West Chester, Pa. We’re not trying to be mean, but they were the heaviest group of people we have ever seen in one place. And we are not exaggerating. They must love to eat Deen’s butter-laden dishes.

Anyway, Deen sells food items and cookware on QVC. She was on with a fellow Southerner, host David Venable, when she started talking about the ham sausage she was selling. It’s her No. 1-selling food item on the home shopping channel. And Deen loves those sausage patties herself.

“I put it in my mouth and I suck on it, I suck until all the juices are gone, and then I chew it,” she told Venable, who was left a little speechless by her remark. We guess he has a dirty mind like us.

Deen and Venable, who looks like he’s been eating a lot of Deen’s food, later called the cook-restaurateur from Georgia one of our favorite Southern expressions: Sweet pea.

But putting all our reporter cynicism aside, there was a really touching moment at the end of the show. The only thing like it we have ever seen on home shopping was when host Rick Domeier wiped away tears during his recent anniversary show.

Lisa from Mississippi called in, and said, “I love you Paula, and David, too.” She was crying, apparently so excited and happy to be talking to Deen.

Moved by the woman, Deen almost started to cry, as well, telling Lisa she loved her, too. The caller told Deen she was buying her sausage patties as well as turkey breast for Thanksgiving.

Deen was obviously was still touched by the woman, who she said had “the sweetest voice,” and she turned to Venable.

“David, you don’t realize how you touch people,” Deen said. “You don’t realize how you touch ‘em until you get a call like that from that little lady and it makes your heart just full.”

Good for you Paula.

I woke up Sunday morning earlier than my usual 11 am – on purpose.  My weekend hours are limited these days and I’d prefer to feel that at least some of my Sunday is my own.  I managed French-pressed coffee on the patio, a brisk walk around the neighborhood, breakfast and a 30-minute workout (my thighs are on fire today).  Then, I began my slow march to the restaurant.

My head, my stomach and every limb on my body would prefer to stay home and relax the day away.  I don’t need the money nor am I being forced to work.  I don my chef’s whites, sharpen my knives and sweat through my Sunday because I need experience.  It’s a multi-part process – and Culinary School was merely the first step.  I need to tough it out and learn how this cooking thing works in the real world. 

My sous chef teacher is a mere 21 years old – and not much of a teacher.  I think working in a kitchen requires an ego – and each chef and cook has a large one.  It’s amazing cooks and egos can all fit behind the hot line.  They’re condescending with confident male machismo – I wilt a bit around them.  Their egos give mine a good beating.  The servers, in contrast, are gum-chomping, fluffheaded bitches.  They’ve convinced themselves they could work the kitchen – they just prefer not to as they might break an acrylic nail.  This was an exchange I had last night:

Server 1:  A customer said the short rib shepherds pie was dry. They didn’t eat it.

Me:  I thought it was a bit dry too. (note: I obviously didn’t make the dish)

Fluffhead Server:   (chomping gum) It was made with short ribs…

Me:  Yes, I know, but usually shepherds pie has gravy with it.

Fluffhead:  (with teenage condescension in her eyes) But it was made with short ribs…

Me:  You can add sauce to the short ribs so it’s more like a real shepherd’s pie.

Fluff: But this was short ribs…

I’m not sure if she was trying to say that short ribs are inherently dry or, because this wasn’t a true shepherd’s pie, it didn’t need to be as moist.  Perhaps during line-up, Big D told her the shepherd’s pie was made with short ribs and this was all she could keep in her fluffhead…

Customer: How’s the shepherd’s pie?

Fluff:  It’s made with short ribs.

Customer: Do you recommend it?

Fluff:  It’s made with short ribs.

Customer:  How large is the portion?

Fluff: It’s made with short ribs.

Customer:   Can I have an order of the shepherd’s pie but without the peas?

Fluff:  It’s made with short ribs.

At the end of the night, Big D gave me my paycheck – $175 for three grueling nights of work.  I just keep telling myself – I need the experience.