The Vibe: The Bluebird is a true Chelsea institution, a fairly posh joint originally owned by Sir Terrance Conran, tastemaker of the upper middle classes and thinking woman’s crumpet.  It is a great date location for a number of reasons. Firstly, because of its reputation. Secondly, because of it’s multifarious offerings: there’s a pricey restaurant, a chilled café, a bakery, a fine foods shop, a bar and a courtyard.  Sidestepping the formality of the restaurant itself, head to the Courtyard on a sunny Saturday for a relaxed date. Café tables sit on greener than green astroturf set against the impressive white backdrop of the artfully designed building. A barbecue smokes away at the front as locals sip on Bellinis, pick at their food and people watch.

The Order:  The lunch menu is not an adventurous one, just café classics like Caesar Salad, Croque Monsieur, Seafood Linguini and posh paninis. Just focus on getting the summer cocktails/bottle of rose ordered and then go for the barbeque options, a decent bacon cheeseburger (although this will only be cooked well done), great grilled tiger prawns and an excellent halloumi skewer.

The Game: This is a fairly casual date. As long as the sunshine holds out and you are happy for a small wait, it’s more about looking fresh, summery and appealing. Take advantage of the safety of sunglasses to get comfortable at the beginning, but make sure you do take them off eventually as it is much harder to make a connection without any real eye contact. Don’t get stressy about the service, it’s not great but you now know this in advance so don’t wreck the vibe with menial complaints. After an hour or so, make tracks and head down the Kings Road.  Grab a frozen yogurt for the walk, take a moment on the benches by the square and head down to the Saatchi Gallery for a spot of culture. Sexy this ain’t, but it sure is romantic.

The Faults:  You could easily be put off by the Kings Road crowd and it’s heavily reliant on good weather.

The Sex Factor*: 0. It’s a wonderful day date but better suited to a third or fourth meet-up, when you want time off from the bars.

The Courtyard at The Bluebird Café
350 King’s Road
London
SW3 5UU

Website

*5 being the steamiest it will get

The Vibe: It may be mistaken for being the hangout of King Sloane himself but the Fulham/Chelsea type attracted here is slightly  more ‘if it’s not too much bother’ than  ‘yah-yah-sure-sure’. Think elderly couples who treat their meal like a leisurely South of France lunch, fabulous couples who have dressed down (in the loosest sense of the term) to come to their favourite local, and pairs of housewives lunching in Prada and Celine.  It’s an unassuming Italian joint from the front, with interiors that offer that charming mix of wood and water beakers that we excitedly like to term ‘rustic’. The staff seldom change and after one visit greet you like old friends, making your date assume you’re much more debonair than first imagined. In the evening, it’s a glowing space, with tables close to each other and a heady faux-casual charm. To take someone to a pricey Italian is easy, but when it manages to achieve the foodie’s nirvana of ‘authenticity’ (Tuscan, don’t you know) , it’s dreamy.

The Order: Tuscan food is all about sharing. The menu is one long list, without divisions, of plates big and small. It’s all about few, well chosen ingredients, think spaghetti with olive oil, seasoning and sun dried tomatoes (fresh of course) or a simple plate of lemony smoked salmon. My advice is avoid the vegetable plates and stick to the pastas and meals. The ravioli is a must, as is the half chicken, the venison and the risotto. Always consult the specials which, although usually much pricier, are far more exciting. For dessert, try their famous Affogato, vanilla ice-cream and espresso. Drink wine and a lot of it. Finish with a shot of limoncello.

The Game:  The food is divine but light so you’ll leave wanting to go on somewhere for drinks. Alternatively you can take a romantic summer walk through the gorgeous neighbourhood, pointing out homes you might one day own…. For more drinks, head down to Eclipse, a dark, blingy but small bar on the Fulham Road. If feeling very cheeky, blag your way into the members-only Chelsea Arts Club opposite (not hard to do). Befriend the eccentric artists in the garden, booze along with the creative alcoholics at the bar and, when it looks like you may be caught, stumble out of the place. You’ve shared both an intimate meal and a daring moment now, the perfect preamble to a bedroom session that is both kinky and straight out romantic. Enjoy.

The Faults:  Somewhat expensive, a posh crowd (whether good or bad thing is up to you) and can be a little on the chilly side in the winter (but glorious in the summer).

The Sex Factor*: 3, nothing beats a good Italian meal and a beautiful neighbourhood.

Riccardo’s

126 Fulham Road
London SW3 6HU
020 7370 6656
Website

*5 being the steamiest it will get