What a great opportunity.

Christmas is just four and a half weeks away.

The three musketeers are the perfect age to be captivated by all the season holds.

And I, a very creative individual, am available to lead the captivation 24/7!

So we started discussing what we would do to celebrate the season today.

Nine, Ten, and Eleven each wrote letters to Santa. Actually they dictated and I typed and they signed. (I’m a secretary for kids).

Something tells me they will soon receive letters back from the jolly ole’ elf himself, along with official Nice Girl Certificates, signed and sealed by SC himself.

Anyway, I said we would go see Santa soon.

Soon means today when you are five.

And they thought I meant the North Pole instead of Macy’s.

So while I was busy doing something, Ten comes up and tugs at my sleeve ans says, “Dad, when are we going to the North Pole?”

It’s gonna be a great Christmas.

Saturday night the Senate was able to muster a 60-39 vote victory and move its Patient Protection and Affordable Health Care Act to the floor for debate, which will begin after the Thanksgiving holiday recess.

Read more here:
The Treatment
New York Times
Health Affairs
The Hill

Weirdly, despite my predictions of plague and pestilence regarding Oscar yesterday, apart from me having to administer Calpol at one this morning, he slept the rest of the night through and woke up looking pale, but otherwise fine.  No temperature, no spots, no vomiting.  No green skin and mysterious head swivelling.  It never does to dismiss possession out of hand until one has gathered all the evidence.

He is still off his food, which is not like him, but he has been full of beans and bounce otherwise.  I don’t really understand it.  It’s like he started to get sick and then thought: ‘Nah! Just can’t be bothered.  I think I’ll watch Ben Ten instead.’ Children remain a complete and utter mystery to me.  The more time I spend with them, the more I find myself doing that staring at the ceiling in amazement while shaking my head in puzzlement thing.  The international language of ‘What the fuck was that about then, eh?’

Still.  Hooray for lack of vomit.  We love lack of vomit.  We dream of vomit free days in the sun.

I had been all geared up for more Casualty and screaming and it was all a bit bang and whimperish.  This meant that by half ten I was still in my pyjamas and hadn’t quite gotten round to finishing my breakfast.  I was too concerned about where the illness had gone.  Is it in the cupboard under the stairs? No!  Is it lurking in the U-bend? No idea, and I’m not looking.  It was all very mystifying, so I kept lurking about staring at Oscar and asking him how he felt, and prodding him.  He was heartily sick of the sight of me after half an hour or so of this bizarre behaviour.  Mummy dressed as a giant bush, creeping up on him and poking him with boiled sticks.  So when my friend texted me to say she was utterly miserable and hated everything and life was pooh, and I suggested we go round to cheer her up, she and Oscar jumped at the chance.  Oscar in the hope of the crowd effect taking some of the pressure off him, and her because even me and Oscar were better than sitting weeping into the bottom of a tea cup.  Not much admittedly, but expectations were low.

It was her birthday bless her.  I arrived late and presentless (having not known it was her birthday, in my defence), having got lost, and also realising that it would not be appropriate to turn up in my pyjamas and that I really ought to get changed.  Plus, Oscar was investigating.   While we were sorting out his toys yesterday we found his magnifying glass.  So naturally he has been doing quite a lot of investigating.  On the way to my friend’s house he spent quite a lot of time looking for the gang of vampires he swore had scribbled some graffitti on a wall.  I explained that vampires didn’t come out in the day time because they burst into flames and disappeared into a heap of greasy ash on the floor.  He thought this was brilliant, but remained determined that he was going to find one anyway.  Presumably a retarded one that hadn’t read the memo and would appear just in time for Oscar to spot him looking evil with his spray can before he went up with a whoosh.

This is why a ten minute walk ended up taking over half an hour.  We do know how to fanny about.  We could probably turn it into some kind of olympic event.

We had a nice time eating biscuits and Oscar was delighted that he could evade my evil doctoring ways and get on with being a small boy on a mission.  In fact we had such a nice time, we forgot to go home and ended up getting a lift to school.  Hooray for our side.  Especially hooray because yet again the weather has been vile and by this time it was bucketing it down.

When we got home I was buoyed by the success of getting Oscar’s toys all sorted, so I explained to the girls about my plan of tidying and sorting their things so that Santa would have room for their new presents. Like Oscar they were very enthusiastic. I sent them away to do it.  The enthusiasm waned almost instantly.  I cooked tea, fed them and went for a driving lesson, and when I got back at 7.30 p.m. they were still tidying, sullenly. Ah well, at least I got an hour away from it all.  Jason was pulling his beard out by the time I got back. 

We are still in the death throes now.  I wish we had never started.  I have about three broken toys in a box for the charity shop.  Tallulah, to be fair to her, was most diligent and worked really hard.  Tilly has been Kevin and Perry personified.  On the other hand, they swapped roles at dinner time, which is how come Tallulah got so much more done than Tilly because she didn’t have the inconvenience of eating her tea to get in the way.  She started to kick up a fuss about the quality of her dinner so I asked her to get down and sent her away.  It was so liberating.  No fuss, no tantrums, no fighting.  No dinner.  Hooray.

And that’s it folks. I know I still owe you gnome update with pictures.  I will get around to it, I promise.  It will be much more interesting than this Archers style entry, but this is all I have today.  And now I must go and be philosophical about children’s poetry.

I’m going to put the kettle on and break out more biscuits.  One can always be much more philosophical with a biscuit.  Or a pipe.  I don’t smoke, so it’s biscuits all the way.

We leave at once (oil) 5

Oil over blue book tile

4.25 x 5.25″ x .5″

2009

Number five in a series of nearly identical paintings.

$175

From Children & Young People Now, 23 November 2009 and Guardian, 23 November 2009

ADCS have come out in criticism of Ofsted coinciding with the publication of the inspectorate’s annual report tomorrow.

In a new report the ADCS (The Association of Directors of Children’s Services) have accused the watchdog of wasting time and money.

They also said “Ofsted’s approach to inspecting children’s social care is flawed and bureaucratic, forcing councils to focus on meeting the requirements of inspectors rather than improving services.”

The ADCS concluded that

“We need a framework that supports continuous improvement in local outcomes and is proportionate to need, with a greater emphasis on self evaluation and peer challenge with an attendant reduction in the burden of performance monitoring and inspection by central government and inspectorates.”

A spokesman for Ofsted said: “We are disappointed to hear the ADCS criticisms but have to say that their views just don’t accord with what we are being told by directors and frontline social workers who have actually experienced our children’s services inspections. The feedback we are getting is much more positive.”

]]> http://sportsfanlunatic.com/2009/11/23/professional-athletes-are-not-overpaid/ Mon, 23 Nov 2009 20:07:40 +0000 sportsfanlunatic http://sportsfanlunatic.com/2009/11/23/professional-athletes-are-not-overpaid/

What value would you attach to talent? What price would you be willing to pay someone for their dedication? How about for your intensity and even plain old ability? Seriously … take a moment and think about this. If you had spent all or most of your childhood, adolescence and young adulthood training and preparing to do what you love to do (on a professional level) what things would you want someone to consider when they negotiate your salary?

 Think like a professional athlete for a moment. I think my perspective would have to be explained by showing you what these men and women hear on a pretty regular basis from:

 Team Owners:

“Remember now, if you get hurt on the job, there is no workman’s compensation. You are expected to, within reason, get up, shake it off, and keep it moving. Maybe you didn’t sleep well the night before. Who cares? GO TO WORK! Even if a close family member or friend dies, if you are scheduled to work, you will go to work.”

It isn’t just your boss who expects this – he or she is mostly concerned about the thousands of screaming fans in attendance, and possibly millions more watching at home or from various sports bars and other venues. Your team’s owner knows who is going to watch you, critique your performance, take pictures of you at your very worst moment, and plaster these images all over the internet, television and newspapers. He also knows how this will affect the franchise…the brand. You are, after all, a PRODUCT.

 Vendors:

“You see, we depend upon you. We are able to make OUR living because of what YOU do. Our clients turn to you for entertainment. We plan major events around what you are doing. We need to sell hot dogs and beer…you can’t let us down now! What will happen to us?”

 Endorsers:

“Listen…I need to sell my (insert anything and everything you can possibly think of) and if I put your face on the (insert packaging description), I am sure that my profits will increase! Yes, I will give you a very small percentage of my earnings, but I will complain about it, because you are already making all that money for, I mean … that team is already paying you a hefty salary. I do not care how many expenses you have, I just want to get paid!”

 Fans:

“GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME! I can’t believe you dropped that ball! We’re not going to make it to the playoffs this year because of YOU. No home field advantage? What the… What do you mean you have a torn rotator cuff? Suck it UP! All my life I dreamed of playing professional sports…now that I can live through you (since it didn’t work out for me) PLAY THE GAME THE WAY I WOULD HAVE PLAYED IT! What kind of role model ARE you? I want my kids to be able to look up to you! I can’t be a good example as a parent, so I’ve chosen YOU, sports figure, to put on a pedestal and if you do ANYTHING wrong, I will make sure you never play in this league again!”

 Granted, if things are going very well for you and your sport, this makes everyone happy and your salary is justified. (Umm…how often does THAT happen?)

Still think professional athletes are overpaid? Tell me what you REALLY think. I’m just sayin…

This is going to be a very odd Thanksgiving.

A year ago my sweet Sophia was diagnosed with cancer and I lost her less than three weeks later.

In July we moved our parents into an assisted living facility near two of my sisters and both Mom and Dad promptly ended up in the emergency room. The move meant leaving the house where they had lived almost 60 years, the only home I had ever known until I left for college.

Though both parents bounced back from the stresses of moving, in October Dad died, and I’m not sure that I have really gotten through even the first few steps of grieving.

In March I welcomed Hagar into my home. He’s settling in, finally, still a goofball, still a challenge at times, but a sweet, silly Berner boy.

And I remain thankful, even in the midst of grief and stresses and a complete lack of time and organizational fortitude, for how incredibly lucky I have been.

I got to spend more than 57 years with the support and love of two of the best parents anyone could hope for. They have challenged me, helped me, guided me and given me a foundation in life that I have been privileged to pass on to my own children.

I have three of the most remarkable sisters on the planet. We often disagree about the little stuff, but we all understand the importance of family and being constructive and being there for each other. I don’t think any of us could have gotten through the difficulties of this past year without each other.

I have sons of whom I am unapologetically proud. They forgave my mistakes in childrearing and embraced the lessons passed on through me from my parents, and have become thoughtful, considerate, wonderful young men. I’m not sure exactly what I did right, but I’m so glad I did.

And then there was Sophia.

As I approach the anniversary of her death, I feel her loss more strongly than ever. She was my beautiful silk scarf, a little exotic, a little fragile, definitely exquisite in her grace and joy in life. We had a bond that was born of struggle, as we worked through her pain aggression, her food allergies, her hip and elbow dysplasia and finally her cancer.

She taught me patience, determination, forgiveness, and faith. She approached each day, even when I knew she was in pain, with such courage and strength that I was in awe. She knew how to stretch the envelope – whether helping convince my vet that a raw diet was not some sort of fringe cult behavior, or helping me learn about canine health, positive reinforcement, and not leaving eyeglasses or Pringles cans or First Editions of books out where a curious puppy could get to them. After all, exploration is the the start of knowledge!

Even with four other dogs in the house when I lost her, and then the addition of Hagar, I miss her more than I can begin to say. As a friend wrote when she lost her own Berner, as much as she appreciated how lucky she was and as much as she appreciated the outpouring of sympathy and support, she just wanted her girl back. I still wish I could give her one more, ten more, 100 more hugs, hand her a few more turkey necks, cajole her a few more times to come back inside so we could go to bed.

But she isn’t coming back. And it hurts.

I still feel so lucky to have shared almost eight years with her. I know that few people have the kind of relationship with their dog that I had with her. I still see her, hear her, sense her presence in times of both quiet and chaos. I know that she, like my parents, my sisters, my kids, will always be a part of me, a part of who I am and what I do, and for all of them, I give thanks.

Thank you for being here, for sharing so much with me, for helping me be a better person. Were it not for the love, there would be no grief.

the littlest heroes project!

a few weeks ago, i had  the opportunity to document another session for the littlest heroes project - an outstanding organization that matches photographers with families of children who suffer from a serious illness or life altering disability. you can read more about their mission and the families on their website :: www.littlestheroesproject.org :: the program became so popular this year that they were fielding thousands of requests a week, and as a result stopped accepting applications earlier this fall. they are currently working through their growing pains, and will resume in february 2010.

bella’s mom had contacted me this spring about setting up a session, however between our hectic schedules and my crazy travel plans, we were just able to get together this fall. i was very excited to meet them after the last few months of emails, and decided to honor their session regardless of the organization’s hiatus. and i’m so glad i did! bella is an amazing + energetic 2-year-old little girl with a fantastic, loving family. i feel so lucky to have spent the morning watching them have fun together!

bella’s inquisitive nature + sassy little personality made her a joy to photograph – and i especially loved watching her squeal with delight and laugh with her brother + parents! her down syndrome poses certain challenges, but from what i saw, doesn’t limit her ability to enjoy every moment and have fun with her family. she’s as sweet as can be and super smart and she totally brightened my day!

enjoy!

So now I’ve had my first experience taking school pictures. Those of you that know me and my work at all know that my photography style doesn’t exactly go hand in hand with the usual ’school portrait’ format. But one of my favorite clients- mom of little Oliver (click here for a refresher)- asked if I’d do pictures for the preschool that Oliver attends, and I decided why not?

I, of course, put my own spin on it, and after getting over my initial inhibitions about taking pictures of 20 kids within a 2 hour period, had a LOT of fun. Turned out to be a great experience- and I can’t wait to hear what the parents think of the modern take on school portraits!

A few months ago, Jeremiah and I drove to Half Price books to purchase a very special book for our family. He’d been talking about getting a “Blessing Book” for a long time. So for $4.99, he picked out a brown and orange vintage floral journal.

We decided that we needed to start recording God’s faithfulness and his answers to our prayers over the years and that the Blessing Book would be the official landing place to write out those things simply because…

It’s easy to forget God’s work in the every day details of our lives.

Since then, we’ve recorded a lot of answers to prayers and twice now, we’ve gone through it so we can Remember.

Remembering God’s faithfulness and provision in the past has given me an overwhelming joy, thankfulness, and gratitude. It gives me great hope to face the uncertainties in the future.

There are all kinds of ways to reflect and remember. I stumbled upon Megan’s blog the other day and she’s created a Thankfulness Banner. I absolutely love this idea- especially as it really helps your kids tangibly see God’s goodness in their life.

One Thanksgiving when I was home from college, I printed out each of my family members’ names in big, bold writing on separate pieces of paper. All of us wrote a brief note saying how thankful we were for that person. It was a bonding time for our family and provided a ton of affirmation.

Well, I can’t wait when John can understand what our Blessing Book is all about so that he can share in what God has done and is doing in our family.

How do you remember God’s faithfulness and blessings during this time of year?

Once upon a time, just about a year ago, a woman cleaning up her kitchen after a meal with her family hears a thud outside her door.  Upon investigation (through the window) she determines that her mother is on her front lawn throwing boxes on to her front stoop.  She has backed her car into the snow-covered yard and is taking boxes (later determined to be Christmas presents) from the trunk to the steps.  After which, she pounds loudly on the door. However, no one indoors responds out of shock and a slight bit of fear.  After several minutes the mother returns to her car and attempts to leave only to get stuck in the snow.  She spins there for about five minutes creating a cloud of smoke and finally melts enough snow away to leave.  The woman goes outside and surveys the scene- divots in the yard and boxes on the stoop.  She picks up the boxes and gives the contents to her son, for whom they are intended.

Fast forward approximately 11 months.  Said woman is holding a phone conversation with said mother.  Woman tries to iron out a time for a Thanksgiving meal.  Apparently, the times given to the mother were not suitable enough and she was told nevermind.  No thanksgiving meal.  The next day, upon her arrival home from work a large pile of boxes await her on the front stoop.  She opens one to find a christmas gift for her son, each box with another gift.  And one box with a letter which the woman does not read since most previous letters amount to a lot of conversation about how despicable this woman is in mother’s opinion.  Christmas, this year, is now canceled. 

Guess who is now taking vacation over Christmas instead of having six Christmases for everyone who can’t stand each other?  That’s right: ME!

The following is a excerpt from the Classical Values Blog. It is very interesting and I highly recommend you read the entire article at http://www.classicalvalues.com/archives/2009/10/where_were_you_2.html

The 2008 Farm Bill (also known as the Food, Conservation, and Energy Act of 2008, aka Public Law 110-246).

This amendment [to the Lacey Act] deals with illegal plants — the primary thrust being illegal wood. Henceforth, all wood is to be a federally regulated, suspect substance. Either raw wood, lumber, or anything made of wood, from tables and chairs, to flooring, siding, particle board, to handles on knives, baskets, chopsticks, or even toothpicks has to have a label naming the genus and species of the tree that it came from and the country of origin. Incorrect labeling becomes a federal felony, and the law does not just apply to wood newly entering the country, but any wood that is in interstate commerce within the country. Here are some excerpts from a summary:

The Lacey Act now makes it unlawful to import, export, transport, sell, receive, acquire, or purchase in interstate or foreign commerce any plant, with some limited exceptions, taken in violation of the laws of a U.S. State, or any foreign law that protects plants. The Lacey Act also makes it unlawful to make or submit any false record, account or label for, or any false identification of, any plant.

The definition of the term “plant” includes “any wild member of the plant kingdom, including roots, seeds, parts, and products thereof, and including trees from either natural or planted forest stands.”

[...]

Anyone who imports into the United States, or exports out of the United States, illegally harvested plants or products made from illegally harvested plants, including timber, as well as anyone who exports, transports, sells, receives, acquires or purchases such products in the United States, may be prosecuted. In any prosecution under the Lacey Act, the burden of proof of a violation rests on the government.

[...]

Violations of Lacey Act provisions for timber and other plant products, as well as fish and wildlife, may be prosecuted through either civil or criminal enforcement actions. Regardless of any prosecution, the tainted plants may be seized and forfeited.

Everyone means everyone, which includes every reader of this blog.

Obviously, this means that in the future, the Fish and Game guys will be able to accompany SWAT Team raiders to check all wood in homes and businesses for possible violations. Even if they’re wrong in their suspicions about the wood, it can still be confiscated. (Might that be a goal? To beef up employment at Fish and Game?)

Just think about the law enforcement possibilities alone. After kicking through and impounding your illegal wooden door, a federalized army of government termites could literally strip all wood paneling and flooring from every raided house as suspicious contraband, and haul away all the furniture, wood carvings, picture frames, tools, musical instruments! I can’t think of a better harassment tool. The list of potentially regulated items is mind-boggling:

the scope of products that will require a declaration under the Lacey Act is broad and includes certain live plants, plant parts, lumber, wood pulp, paper and paperboard, and products containing certain plant material or products, which may include certain furniture, tools, umbrellas, sporting goods, printed matter, musical instruments, products manufactured from plant-based resins, and textiles.

[...]

After September 30, 2009, based on experience with the implementation of the electronic system for declaration data collection, we will phase in enforcement of the declaration requirements for additional chapters containing plants and plant products covered by the Lacey Act, including (but not limited to) Ch. 12 (oil seeds, misc. grain, seed, fruit, plant, etc.), Ch. 13 (gums, lacs, resins, vegetable saps, extracts, etc.), Ch. 14 (vegetable plaiting materials and products not elsewhere specified or included), Ch. 45 (cork and articles of), Ch. 46 (basket ware and wickerwork), Ch. 66 (umbrellas, walking sticks, riding crops), Ch. 82 (tools), Ch. 93 (guns), Ch. 95 (toys, games and sporting equipment), Ch. 96 (brooms, pencils, and buttons), and Ch. 97 (works of art). We will announce a specific phase-in schedule for those chapters in a subsequent Federal Register notice.

Did they mention shipping pallets and cargo braces? Wood is not only in stuff, it’s in the stuff that the stuff comes in! Nearly everything is regulated.

Oh, and you firearm owners out there, let’s not forget gun handles!

Ch. 93 Headings (arms and ammunition).
9302 — Revolvers and pistols.
93051020 –Parts and accessories for revolvers and pistols.
Ch. 94 Headings (furniture, etc.).
940169 — Seats with wood frames.
Ch. 95 Headings (toys, games, & sporting equipment).
950420 — Articles and accessories for billiards.
Ch. 97 Headings (works of art).
9703 — Sculptures.

Glad I don’t own an art gallery, but my picture frames are not labeled, which means there are probably multiple potential felonies in progress in my home. (Perhaps I should be more careful about what I say.)

And while the NRA might not have noticed the impending crackdown on gun handles, at least IKEA is starting to speak up.

Between Wood Control and the Consumer Product Safety Nazis, I pity anyone in the secondhand business, including all Ebay and Craigslist sellers as well as people holding garage or yard sales.

In short, I pity the American people. This is not their fault, though, for no one has any control over what is going on. Not even the despicable fools we call “legislators” who cannot read the “laws” they pass because they are not meant to be read. As to the enforcers, they are only doing their job. They have to earn a living. And we are supposed to respect them, because they lay their lives on the line, “protecting” the public! From felonious wood!

Obviously, the full implications of this dramatic loss of freedom are beyond the capacity of a single post. After all, I am just one blogger, doing this by myself, without the kind of access to data that media organizations and think tanks might have. So, I cannot possibly hope to analyze everything. As things stand, I became exhausted last night just reading through the Lacey Act Amendment stuff pertaining to wood — and that was one mere fraction of an execrable, unreadable monstrosity. I don’t mean to whine, but slogging through such horrors is not exactly my idea of Saturday night fun. But who the hell else is going to do it? Flooring and furniture industry blogs? Who the hell reads them except people in the business? They’re all greedy tree haters and have no credibility. Besides, all big business is the enemy right now. We need to stand up not only against Big Cereal, but now Big Flooring! Big Siding! Big Furniture! (Is there such an industry as Big Chopstick?)

To read the entire article please go to: http://www.classicalvalues.com/archives/2009/10/where_were_you_2.html

No, my child did NOT tell me that his project won the coveted eighth grade blue ribbon prize in the Artistic Photography Division of the Muscogee County School District’s “Beauty Is…” Art Contest.

No, my child did NOT tell me that the awesome aforementioned art project he submitted was also selected to compete in the district-wide finals!

And no, my child did NOT follow his wonderful news up with “Mom, I have detention.”

No.

NOT my child!

Welcome to Not Me My Child! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. Head on over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

THE DECISIONS WE MAKE

by

Chris Maser

“We are incredibly heedless in the formation of our beliefs, but find ourselves filled with an illicit passion for them when anyone proposes to rob us of their companionship.”—James Harvey Robinson, American historian (1863-1936)

Elizabeth Sherrill, Guideposts Roving Editor, summarized in a few words the heart of my following discussion about socially responsible decisions. She wrote:

Promises [decisions] are scary things. To keep them means relinquishing some of our freedom; to break them means losing some of our integrity. Though we have to make them today, promises are all about tomorrow—and the only thing we know for sure about tomorrow is that we don’t know anything for sure!

Over the years, my experience has been that making decisions in the political arena is an area in which people know what they need to do on moral grounds (be it the President of the United States, a member of the Congress, a state governor, or someone in an agency) but are often afraid of doing it on political grounds because making a decision, especially if unpopular, brings one face to face with personal accountability, the risk of criticism, and quite possibly, if not probably, the loss of one’s job. The appalling lack of moral courage and political will in the United States today points to the fact that most people prefer the devil they know to the devil they don’t, which is but saying that the “terrible known” is often more comfortable than the unknown, even if the unknown promises to be better. People thus chart a course by consciously avoiding charting a course, which was precisely the circumstance in the British Parliament in 1935, prior the outbreak of World War II, which caused Winston Churchill to chide parliamentary members, because he saw with clear foreboding the onrushing threat of Nazi Germany:

When the situation was manageable it was neglected, and now that it is thoroughly out of hand we apply too late the remedies which then might have affected a cure. There is nothing new in the
story. . . .   It falls into that long, dismal catalogue of the fruitlessness of experience and the confirmed unteachability of mankind. Want of foresight, unwillingness to act when action would be simple and effective, lack of clear thinking, confusion of counsel until the emergency comes, until self-preservation strikes its jarring gong—these are the features which constitute the endless repetition of history.

While in Churchill’s time, World War II was the critical component affecting human survival, today it’s the declining health of the environment. How are the political leaders of today any different than the members of parliamentary in Churchill’s time? Where in the United States today are the unequivocal voices among local and national politicians who speak for the children through such actions as a firm commitment to doing our part in cleaning the air and eliminating the production of greenhouse gasses? Where are the unequivocal voices among local and national leaders who not only speak for but also stand firmly behind maintaining the productive capacity of the ecosystem, from the local scale to the national scale and beyond?

Without such voices of moral courage and unconditional political commitment to the future in each community in the United States and each nation in the world, we, the adults, are condemning the children—our children and grandchildren—to pay a progressively awful price for our petty, psychological immaturities as we bicker amongst ourselves about who will do what, rather than accepting the sometimes bitter pill of our adult responsibilities. Based on the lack of moral fiber and political will I so often witness in today’s “leaders,” I wonder how many of them will be able to look into the mirror of their reflective years and say: ”I’m glad I made that decision the way I did!” rather than,” I wish I had made that decision differently. . .”

Part of the problem is that we, in every generation, too often do not understand that a particular level of consciousness, which causes a problem in the first place, is not the level of consciousness that can fix it; so most people keep doing the same thing over and over (despite the lessons of world history), while each time expecting new and dramatically different results. This is but saying that if one thinks the way one has always thought, one will naturally get the same results one has always gotten.

The above paragraph is, in large measure, a summation of the way in which Western industrial society has navigated the 20th century, a century in deadly grapple between society’s immediate materialistic wants and demands and the environment’s sustainable capacity to produce that which is desired. Unless we are finally willing to change our thinking, we will surely navigate the 21st century in much the same manner as we have the 20th century, but with far deadlier results. Our task for this century, if our society is going to continue to exist as we know it, must be for each of us adults to elevate our own level of consciousness above that which caused the environmental problems of last century. And fortunately, we can elevate our consciousness individually—and thus collectively—because we can each control our thoughts, our motives, our attitudes, and our behavior.

Be that as it may, a decision is no more and no less than the selection of a choice of action from amongst an array of choices of potential actions. We all have choices, and one of the great paradoxes of life is that we must choose. Not to choose, not to decide, is simply not an option because not choosing is still a choice, still a conscious decision. Making a decision—any decision—is as easy as the snap of one’s fingers. Why, then, are so many people in public service unwilling to make socially responsible decisions and, what’s worse, unwilling to keep their commitment to those decisions?

While making a socially responsible decision is easy, becoming psychologically mature enough (other-centered enough) to make such a decision and be openly accountable for its outcome is often difficult because one must live with the results of one’s actions. This poses a myriad problems for psychologically immature (self-centered) people seeking the impossible—to make their lives risk free by avoiding personal responsibility while retaining a sense of power. “It is easier,” as author Marsha Sinetar says, “to manipulate, blame or seduce others into labeling us or doing things for us than it is to define ourselves or to do things for ourselves in our own way.” This, continues Sinetar, is how “people avoid taking authority and authorship for their own lives.”

Sinetar’s words were echoed at a university dinner my wife, Zane, and I attended. During the meal, the head of a department, who sat next to us, looked around to see who might be listening or who might be able to hear and then said in a quiet voice, “The secret of climbing the ladder in university politics is to never make a decision; that way, you can pass the blame when things fail and claim the credit when they work.” In their zeal to avoid personal responsibility, such psychologically immature people have invented a number of myths to rationalize why they cannot make a socially responsible decision that would perchance embodied the risk of changing their personal circumstances.

Each myth is supported by a pattern of belief that reinforces the perceived disaster looming in the immediate future. This way of thinking simply means that our negative beliefs are normally far stronger than our faith in a positive outcome, when faced with making a socially responsible decision. According to author Caroline Myss, we cling so tenaciously to our negative beliefs because we think of them as being just around the corner, whereas our positive beliefs we project into an unlikely future. But regardless of what we believe, it’s a belief and not a fact.

Thus, according to Myss, no myth releases its grip on one’s psyche without a fight. If, therefore, one is intent on being a genuine, other-centered public servant, one has no choice but to engage in that battle by developing thought-forms to supplant the negative myths with beliefs in a positive future of which one is determined to be a creative and responsible part. To become such a person, one must learn to see things as the best they can be—not as they apparently are.

THE MYTHOLOGY OF ABNEGATING PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY

Although mythology is variously construed as a fundamental frame of reference for how to lead one’s life, it is here meant as an intellectual fabrication used to justify existing in one’s fear of change, rather than fully engaging life, which entails a measure of risk. The mythology of abnegating personal responsibility, like a chameleon, assumes a number of guises, of which I will discuss seven.

Myth One—I Can’t Change Because I’m Locked In

A common myth of being stuck, which has surfaced over the years, is the notion of being locked into a certain position or circumstance in life, of being out of control and thus unable to change one’s current existence. The truth, however, is that we, each and every one of us, always have a choice, that no one is “locked” into anything, that change is always an option. While a person of faith and psychological maturity will examine first and foremost the opportunities presented by an impending change, be they personal growth or material gain, and will weigh the associated risk accordingly, a psychologically immature person, who lacks faith, will focus first and foremost on the perceived risk of loosing whatever he or she already has and thus decline the opportunity, no matter how good or important it is intuitively known to be. Thus, as British philosopher James Allen noted: “Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself.” Or as author Anaïs Nin wrote: “We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are.”

Some years ago, for example, a man, I’ll call him “Bob,” who worked for a government agency, was sold on a job by a friend in a different state with a different government agency, and Bob took the job only to find out that it was neither ethically planned nor ethically administered. Although Bob could have gone back to work for the agency he left, where he had felt good about what he did, he said that he was “locked in” to his new job, despite his better judgment, and that, when he allowed himself to think about it, he felt betrayed, miserable, depressed, and dishonest.

When I asked why he did not go back to his original agency, which had gladly offered him his old job, Bob said it was too expensive to move again, that he had just gotten his family settled, that he was just learning the ropes of his new job, which he hoped might get better, but he did not see how it could. Finally, Bob said it was not fair to let his friend down, while steadfastly refusing to acknowledge that his friend had sold him a bad bill of goods. He had a litany of reasons that sounded good, but when really pressed, it turned out that Bob found it easier to stay, where he knew in his heart he did not belong, rather than risk the potential ridicule of changing his mind and admitting, by going back to his old agency and job, that he’d made a terrible mistake.

True, returning to his old job would undoubtedly have caused short-term hardships, but it would have earned him his self-respect and the inner peace of feeling good about what he did to earn his living. Instead, Bob prostituted his fundamental beliefs to avoid the short-term pain of taking personal responsibility for what turned out to have been an unwise decision. In so doing, he paid a much higher personal cost over a much longer period of time.

Another spin on this myth is that the “terrible known” is more comfortable than the unknown, even when one can clearly see that it promises to be better. How often I have heard someone say: I know I must do something else because I’m no longer fulfilled by my job or doing it justice, but I can’t quit now. I’m too close to retirement, and I can’t risk giving that up. However, the real question is:  how many years of misery is one willing to accept, rather than experience personal growth, joy, and fulfillment by risking change.

Myth Two—I Can’t Commit Future Leaders to a Course of Action

When I worked as a research scientist in the USDI Bureau of Land Management, and later served as an advisor to county government in my home county, I was told by more than one person faced with an uncomfortable decision that he could neither speak for, nor commit, future leaders to a particular coarse of action, that it was unfair to “lock them in.” With this kind of thinking, there would not be a Constitution of the United States of America or a Bill of Rights for US citizens, nor would there be national parks or national forests because the decision-makers would have sought to avoid the risk of making a decision that would be unpopular with the people who had the political power to execute them for treason in the former case and turn them out of office in the latter.

Despite one’s personal trepidations, some decisions, which in fact are a lock and key to enrich the future, must be made in the present moment, such as the Congressional authorizion of wilderness areas or protection of endangered species. If the people responsible for the authorship and passage of these legal mandates had not had the individual courage embodied in the psychologically maturity to act for the benefit of future generations, despite fierce opposition, our nation and all its people would indeed be culturally and spiritually poorer today, while a very few individuals would have made substantial monetary gains.

Eighteenth-century British philosopher and statesman Edmund Burke succinctly addressed the problem of the monetary greed of the few at the cultural and spiritual expense of the many when he wrote:

Men are qualified for civil liberty in exact proportion to their disposition to put moral chains upon their own appetites. . . .  Society cannot exist unless a controlling power upon will and appetite be placed somewhere, and the less of it there is within, the more there must be without. It is ordained in the eternal constitution of things that men [and women] of intemperate minds cannot be free. Their passions forge their fetters.

Burke’s statement brings to mind the test every public decision-maker must confront and pass if he, or she, is to make socially responsible decisions. The test was aptly described by Senator William Pitt Fessenden of Maine as he delivered the eulogy in 1866 for Senator Foot of Vermont:

When, Mr. President, a man becomes a member of this body hecannot even dream of the ordeal to which he cannot fail to be exposed;

of how much courage he must possess to resist the temptations which daily beset him;

of that sensitive shrinking from undeserved censure which he must learn to control;

of the ever-recurring contest between a natural desire for public approbation and a sense of public duty;

of the load of injustice he must be content to bear, even from those who should be his friends;

the imputations of his motives;

the sneers and sarcasms of ignorance and malice;

all the manifold injuries which partisan or private malignity, disappointed of its objects, may shower upon his unprotected head.

All this, Mr. President, if he would retain his integrity, he must learn to bear unmoved, and walk steadily onward in the path of duty, sustained only by the reflection that time may do him justice, or if not, that after all his individual hopes and aspirations, and even his name among men, should be of little account to him when weighed in the balance against the welfare of a people of whose destiny he is a constituted guardian and defender.

Two years after Senator Fessenden delivered this eulogy, his vote to acquit Andrew Johnson brought about the fulfillment of his own prophecy. This is often the price of true social responsibility. Unfortunately, few people have the moral courage to pay it because, as James Allen wrote: ”Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound.”

Myth Three—It’s not My Responsibility Because It’s not in My Job Description

It is quite common, I have found, for people afraid to make a decision to rationalize that the letter of the law, the letter of their job description, must be followed at any cost, rather than embrace the heart or intent of either and risk making a conscious choice based on their moral judgment, social responsibility, or the greater good of humanity. And make no mistake, all decisions are based on morality because we humans are subjective creatures; we cannot be otherwise. If you think you are, or can be, objective, try holding a neutral thought in your mind for one minute.

Myth Four—I Can’t Make a Decision Because I Lack Definitive Data

We will never have enough data, let alone perfect data, which translates into all the data we desire to make an entirely safe decision. But not to make a socially responsible decision is still to make a decision, albeit one that usually proves to be less than wise. For those who suffer interminable labor pains of giving birth to a decision, I would point out that, in the end, there are but two choices (too soon or too late) because virtually all data are inconclusive. Generally speaking, therefore, I find that too soon is better then too late.

On the other hand, claims of not having either definitive data or enough data to warrant a change has long been used by the timber industry to justify business as usual. I say this because I, who use to be a research ecologist in forestry, encountered this argument endlessly from the industrialists, even as an expert witness in the court of law. The argument went something like this: We don’t have enough data to prove conclusively that we need to change the way we do business. Therefore, we won’t change because it would introduce economic uncertainty into our business and cost us too much. If, however, you can prove definitively that change is necessary, we’ll consider it.

Although the latter statement sounds reasonable, conclusive proof is, of course, impossible—especially if one summarily rejects all scientific data that goes counter to one’s desired outcome. Nevertheless, this refrain is played like a broken record, regardless of how much data are on hand that demonstrate the ecological necessity of change in order to ensure, as much as possible, a sustainable future for all generations.

But not all people plead ignorance because of a lack of data to avoid making a responsible decision. I once sat next to a building contractor on a flight from Alaska to Oregon. Knowing nothing about building a house, I asked him how he did it.

“Well,” he said, “before I buy the first nail or board, I build the house a hundred times in my head so that I can see and fix all the potential problems before they arise. As long as the house stands as I built it, I’m only one who really knows it, regardless of who buys it or how long they live in it.”

Although the contractor did not have perfect data, he did the level best he could with the data on hand, and he took responsibility for his work. It was, after all, his identity as a person and an artisan that went into the construction of each house, and his integrity meant more to him than the money he could make by using cheap materials and cutting other hidden corners.

Myth Five—It Can’t be True, so I Won’t Believe it

When one refuses to accept data, no matter how clearly valid it is, one is steeped in an interesting dichotomy—the need to know and the fear of knowing, which can be thought of as informed denial. In this instance, a person gathers all the data possible, always hoping it will affirm his or her point of view, while simultaneously rejecting out of hand any unfavorable data by denying or refusing to believe its scientific validity. To give this notion a human face, I know a man whose refrain to anything that threatens his point of view is: ”I’m skeptical.” With this statement, he summarily dismissed whatever he finds to be uncomfortable.

In addition, I use to know a wildlife biologist who worked for a state department of fish and game. He is perhaps the most extreme example of informed denial. His professional responsibilities included looking out for the welfare of a herd of elk that used parts of two counties as its habitat. Scientists within the same department studied this particular herd of elk across its geographical range, but the biologist would not accept any data as valid from the neighboring county, if it posed for him an uncomfortable decision. This is known as the “NIH Factor,” which means it’s “not invented here” and thus, by definition, is invalid.

Another colleague of mine used a slightly different approach. He navigated his professional life ignoring whatever he did not want to deal with on the theory that, if ignored long enough, whatever it was would simply go away, which included bothersome people.

Informed denial is perhaps the most rampant myth, when it comes to avoiding the personal risk of making an unpopular, but socially responsible, decision. I have found this myth in every conceivable bureaucratic closet in every level of government in the United States. If you doubt the accuracy of this statement, read the newspaper with an open mind and a discerning eye or listen to the news with an open mind and a discerning ear.

Myth Six—Yes, But I Have to Face Reality

“What you say is all well and good, but I have to face reality.” “It’s fine to be idealistic, and it would indeed be nice if things could be that way, but the reality is. . . .” Note that the foregoing statements summarily dismiss the other person’s point of view.

Facing reality, as it is put forth to avoid making a socially responsible decision one feels is risky, boils down staying within the limits of someone else’s intellectual, political, or economic “bottom line.” Reality, however, is what we each make it to be based on the philosophical underpinnings of our individual worldview. Such views are founded on the fear of potential loss or on the faith of potential opportunities. Although the choice is ours, the vast majority of people unfortunately elect the former.

Myth Seven—What You Are Asking is Impossible

“What you’re asking is impossible; it can’t be done.”

While I was still working as a scientist for the Bureau of Land Management, I wanted to hire an extremely well-qualified woman as a plant ecologist to help with some work. I went carefully through all the necessary hoops the personnel department put in front of me. After six months, however, the head of personnel told me that I could not hire the woman, that it was impossible. When I asked him why, he simply repeated that it was impossible. Finding his answer unacceptable, I went to the State Director, and explained the situation.

“Ridiculous!” he exploded.

With that, he picked up the telephone, called the head of personnel, and the woman was hired within 15 minutes.

As it turned out, the head of personnel had use inappropriate judgment a some months earlier and had been reprimanded. So, still feeling like his pride had been stung by mad hornet, he was taking no chances when my request reached him. His problem this time:  by not acting appropriately out of fear of criticism, he got himself in trouble once again.

By suggesting that the required decision is impossible, one is pleading impotence from a position of power, thereby seeking to avoid personal responsibility. When Napoléon Bonaparte was confronted with such a situation, he said, “You write to me that it’s impossible; the word is not French.”

So, in the end, what are these myths protecting? They are protecting the fear of self-definition and personal responsibility for one’s decisions, and in the process are perpetuating one’s existence in the maw of one’s own fear.

FEAR

Although reputed to come in many guises because we fling it outward at such things as change, successes, failure, personal responsibility, criticism, and so on, fear is rooted in one particular facet of our lives—loosing our sense of control. Fear has only one garment with which to cover its various psychological projections, no matter how good they sound.

Fear’s singe garment is the anticipation of an unwanted outcome cast into an unknown future, where we envision ourselves as slaves to an undoubtedly disastrous circumstance beyond our control. Therefore, fear exists simply for the sake of itself and is made real only when we empower it with our thoughts, something President Franklin Delano Roosevelt understood, as evidenced by a comment he made to his wife, Eleanor, on their first date.

While dancing, a nervous Eleanor stepped on Franklin’s foot and apologized profusely, prompting him to ask her if she was frightened. When she replied yes, he told her: “Fear is an illusion. If you use the same energy to be confident, the most wonderful things happen.” Unfortunately, few people think the way FDR did and are thus confronted almost daily by fear, especially when facing critical decisions.

The following are some of the guises of fear that people face when confronted with the necessity of making an unpopular, but socially responsible, decision:

• change, which is seen as having to confront an uncertain, unknowable future of some scale of real or imagined magnitude with no guarantee of a successful outcome, so one of two things usually happens—either one bargains with the circumstance by trying to scale down the amount of change necessary and thereby minimize the perceived risk of unknown consequences, or one studiously resists change through informed denial of the needed change; in the first case, one tries to cut the best possible deal, and in the latter case, one steadfastly avoids making any decision if at all possible
• failure in one’s endeavor and the ridicule it may bring, so one hides from the requisite decisions
• success and the greater visibility and expectations to which it may lead, so one sabotages any chances of success by making poor decisions, most often unconsciously
• criticism, which most people take personally, so risky decisions are left unattended
• personal responsibility, which is dealt with through a perpetual lack of focus, confusion, and a dissipation of energy via numerous distractions, which preclude a risky decision
• losing one’s position of authority, which is seen as personal power and control, so the political wind is constantly tested lest a responsible decision be made in unfavorable times and thus jeopardize one’s position

The following examples, in contrast, represent projections of fear flung by someone at a person who is expecting a socially responsible decision to be made:

• What you are asking for is too expensive; who will pay the bill?
• You’re being too philosophical in your approach to this decision—forgetting, of course, that every concrete idea has its own philosophical foundation.
• What you’re asking is unrealistic.
• You’re expecting too much, too fast.
• You’re asking people to go against human nature.
• There isn’t enough data to support your position.

These reasons all sound good, but they’re not real. If, for instance, each time you ran out a reason why change was impractical or impossible, I was to respond by saying:  “Other than that (which is the reason you just cited), what is stopping you from making a decision?” you would sooner or later run out of false reasons, no matter how plausible they sounded. Then, and only then, would the real reason come out—whatever it is that you are afraid of.

“Nothing is so much to be feared as fear,” wrote Henry David Thoreau. Fear, which is always the anticipation of something that might happen but has not yet happen, can exist only in the future. Fear is being afraid that something, which happened, might have happened, or could have happened to someone else in the past, and could happen again—to you. True, it could happen again, but that does not mean it will.

While there is always the possibility that a given negative thing might happen, the probability is that it won’t. Conversely, there is always the possibilitythat a given positive thing will happen, and the probability, in my experience at least, is that it will because I find far more positive things happening in my life each day than negative things.

Consider briefly your own life. How many events, which you originally took to be negative, actually turned out to be positive? You may well find, upon review, that the vast majority of your life has been positive. So you can look upon FEAR as an acronym for: False Evidence Appearing Real.

The problem is that we tend not only to remember the negative things but also to focus on them. I say this because I have found, in the years I’ve dealt with the resolution of environmental conflicts, that people agree on about 80% of everything and disagree on the remaining 20%. Nevertheless, it’s the latter on which they focus, to the exclusion of the former. When, however, people focus on the areas of agreement, the contested areas are put into perspective and become largely or totally negotiable.

Yitzak Rabin, the Israeli Prime Minister and warrior, learned this lesson well, and in teaching it to the world, forfeited his life to a young Israeli man who could not see beyond his own fear and hatred. All the years Rabin lead the fight against the Palestinians, Israel was in danger of attack. Then, as Prime Minister, he realized that the only way Israel would ever have national security would be if the Palestinians also had national security. Thus, the one-time warrior became the emissary of peace, a transformation of heart and mind that took the utmost courage. Sadly, the peace process initiated by Rabin died with him, because no one else seemed to fully understand what he saw, much less demonstrate the courage to carry it through to conclusion.

In this context, Buddhism offers an important insight: fear cannot exist in the present moment, in the here and how, despite the fact that it is ordained in the nature of life that we never know from one moment to the next how things will turn out. This being the case, one can see the future as positive or negative depending on whether one chooses to focuses on the possible opportunities or possible disasters, both of which are part of any future. You can, therefore, choose a possibility mindset based on faith and live virtually free of fear, as instructed in an old Chinese proverb: Fear knocked at the door; faith opened it; and there was no one there.

Consider the observation of Helen B. Juniper of Claremont, California. As she jogged around the warm-up track, carefully avoiding mud puddles and soft places, she began to notice the different imprints people’s sneakers left in the mud. Where, she suddenly wondered, were her footprints. Stopping, she pressed the sole of one shoe into the damp soil, made a mental note of her sole’s pattern, and began looking for it on the track. It was, however, difficult for her to find any sign of her passing because she avoided all the soft places, which caused her to realize just how easy it is to avoid the uncertain spots in life—like making a socially responsible but unpopular decision—and thereby leave little impression in one’s passing. Now, she says, she is more willing in her life to go into challenging territory, where fear may still resides, and let her prints stand out in bold relief, as did Yitzak Rabin, “to encourage those who follow.”

THE “WHY IT WON’T WORK” EMPTYING EXERCISE

Most of us, in the process of growing up, became trained, albeit often unconsciously, by our parents, teachers, peers, and our societal framework in the habit of negative, limited thinking. How frequently are we told why something is not possible, why we can’t do what we have dreamed of doing, or why we won’t succeed. The old television series, “Mission Impossible,” which Napoléon would assure us in not a French program, cast each episode in the unlikely realm of the impossible, and the whole point of the show was to accomplish that which on the surface appeared highly improbable—in other words, to prove it possible!

With so many years of ingrained and habituated, negative self-reinforcing feedback loops, no wonder many of us can throw out, quicker than you can snap your fingers, a litany of why something we’re afraid to do won’t work. When the world turns around such a negative, central axis, is it any wonder that so much of life has been contaminated with this perspective? The worst-case scenario becomes the area of life in which one exists, one’s comfort zone, as it were. A possibility, opportunity mentality actually becomes the unfamiliar country of discomfort, where one is loath to sojourn or even dream.

Just to balance the equation in a more holistic perspective, it’s heart warming to acknowledge that there are individuals who look on the bright side, the best-case scenario:  What can we do? Why will this work? What are the successes here? These individuals constitute role models worthy of our emulation. They are the explorers, the trailblazers, the path finders of potential possibilities and opportunities who habitually see the growth or gain, even when it entails suffering and pain.

Stop for a moment and allow yourself to feel the territory—positive or negative—in which you most often think, speak, and act. What is your perspective generally like?

Try an experiment to see if you can really get a grasp of how pervasive your overall attitude affects your thoughts, your choices, your growth or the lack thereof, and your life in both small and large ways. Consider an issue you may currently be grappling with. It can be something with your spouse or partner, your child, your job, whether to take some kind of course, or even as mundane as deciding whether to paint the exterior of your house and what color(s) to choose.

When you have chosen the issue, allow your thoughts free reign, as much as you can. Let them be spontaneous and uncensored. Then take a sheet of paper and begin to record your stream of thoughts, without any inner editorial advice.

Once you simply give yourself permission to feel the way you do, you will see the pattern of your thinking. Did you, for example, run out a stream of all the reasons why, whatever it is, won’t work:  why it’s a stupid idea; why it’s too difficult; why it’s too time consuming; why it’s too expensive; why you need to be concern about what others will think of you; and so on? Were you able to detect how this negative gush of why it won’t work sabotaged every potentially positive action or outcome, even that of feeling good about yourself? As you flushed out all the apparent reasons why whatever it is wouldn’t work, did you notice that your thoughts began to change as the negatives dissipated?

In an atmosphere of acceptance, you may notice that you actually begin considering the reasons why, whatever it is, could work, why the idea or direction is both reasonable and possible. Yes, maybe I can do this or that. Maybe it’s a plausible idea or plan that I didn’t see because my fear and its gang of grisly accomplices were casting their shadows into my light.

You may recall the children’s story of the little train with its fear and it’s dialogue as it approached its test of:  “oh that hill looks daunting and impossible to climb” to “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can” as the train kept on going up the hill. As it crested the peak of achievement, it’s positive, reaffirming refrain became:  “I knew I could, I knew I could, I knew I could.”

You too can reach the top of the hill by making the frightening decision with which you are confronted, but unlike the little train confined to its pre-laid tracks, you have the option of thinking outside of box you find yourself in, which is but saying that your imagination lays the tracks for your reality to follow. Thinking outside the box is a gift of Zen, and is called having a beginner’s mind.

THINKING OUTSIDE OF THE BOX

It is likely that most people in their lives have seen a beginner at a game win it easily and/or have someone say, somewhat disparagingly: ”That just beginner’s luck.” It wasn’t beginner’s luck, but rather the open-ended thinking of a beginner’s mind that was on display.

A beginner at anything is unfettered by the mental limitations imposed by someone else’s rules and thus can see what the answers might be because he or she does not know what they should be according to conventional wisdom. The one who thinks of himself or herself as an expert, on the other hand, is bounded by the rules that govern being an expert. Such a person considers himself or herself as something special, the one who knows the “correct” answer, yet is too often blind to what other, equally valid, answers might be. The beginner is free to explore and discover, whereas the expert grows rigid in a self-created, mental prison. However, I know of two women and a man who exemplify the beginner’s mind.

I have often used a simple exercise, which requires nothing more than six wooden toothpicks, to help people understand that their imaginations are either as tethered as their blind acceptance of social convention or as free as their willingness to reach beyond such convention in seeking their soul’s creative eye—their willingness to think outside of the socially constructed and acceptable box. The instructions are simple enough: Sit at the table and make four equilateral triangles out of the six toothpicks without crossing one over another.

Rarely does a person succeed, because it seems impossible to accomplish this feat on the single dimension of a table’s flat surface, which their minds quickly tell them, even as they struggle not to accept it. They think it must be possible because they were told to do it, but they can’t figure out how and eventually give up. There are, however, at least four ways to solve this problem.

The way I had learned to solve the problem was to make one triangle on the table’s flat surface and then stand the other three upright within the one, thus encompassing more than a single dimension. The second, third, and fourth ways both entail breaking the toothpicks and arrange them appropriately on the table’s surface.

This first time I saw the problem solved by breaking a toothpick was at a workshop I was conducting to help wildlife biologists look beyond professional convention for answers to their management problems. During the workshop, one of the biologists came to me and said that his wife, who had accompanied him to the meeting, was interested in what was being discussed and asked if she could join group.

With the lady sitting at the table, I gave my usual instructions and then simply watched what happened. While all the men arranged and rearranged their toothpicks to no avail, she put hers on the table and sat looking at them. Suddenly, a tiny smile crept over her face. Picking up a toothpick, she laid it down at an angle. Then she deftly broke the second in two, laying each half across from the other on each side of the middle of the first toothpick. Finally, she arranged the remaining four in a square to close the exposed sides. Although not perfect because she had not removed a piece of the broken toothpick to account for the width of the first one, which she had laid on the table, she had four triangles!

Over the years, I have continued giving my original instructions, wondering if anyone else would break a toothpick. Finally, after more than two decades, a sixth grade teacher looked at her toothpicks for about thirty seconds, then looked up and asked, “Can I break the toothpicks?”

“Yes,” I answered, and then asked, “How did you figure that out so fast?”

“Well,” she said, “any time I’m given limits, the first thing I do is check them to see if there’s an alternative.”

What a marvelous answer! How fortunate her students! They have a rare teacher, one with a beginner’s mind who regularly checks the mental box she is given to see if there is a way to get outside for a new and different view.

The third way to solve the problem came from a district ranger in the U.S. Forest Service. I gave him six toothpicks and the usual instructions. Seated at his kitchen table, he laid the toothpicks on the table’s top, looked at them for a few seconds, while his young son watched, and then broke each toothpick in two.

The boy turned to me with a questioning voice and said: “He broke them.”

“He didn’t tell me I couldn’t,” replied his father as he made four equilateral triangles on the tabletop, with one piece left over.

The fourth way came from a woman who look at the tooth picks for about 30 seconds, and then broke them all, after which she proceeded to make four equal sided triangles of different sizes all hooked together on the flat of a table. When she had finished, she looked at me with a question in her eyes. All I could say was: ”Marvelous!“

Once again, I had never said that all the triangles needed to be the same size, only that the sides had to be equal in length. This woman is the only person I have seen make the triangles different sizes.

What does this exercise have to do with making a decision? First, it demonstrates that most socialized individuals become stuck within socially imposed limitations to their imaginations, whether real or not. Second, it shows there are a relatively few, rare individuals who refuse to accept the intellectual box society attempts so hard to put around their minds and thereby simply remain open to the possibilities—a beginner’s mind.

The beginner’s mind, in turn, allows each person’s inner genius to unfold. There are at least eight ways in which one can think outside the socially restrictive box, ways of thinking that one can adapt to making decisions:

1. Examine each problem from every conceivable angle, i.e., question everything, which means abandoning the first approach that comes to mind because it likely stems from past experience. This necessitates re-conceptualizing the problem, which not only can solve the immediate problem but also will identify a new one. In this case, one might, for example, think of the four people who found ways to make four equilateral triangles by breaking the toothpicks.
2. Make thoughts visible by developing the visual and spatial ability to display information in new ways—a picture is worth a thousand words. Some people us flow diagrams. I once knew an architect who built a freestanding model out of balsam wood when he came across a conceptual problem, the solution for which he could not find on paper. The model also served to translate the concept from the one-dimensional blueprint into a multidimensional image for the contractor.
3. Be productive. Dean Keith Simonton, of the University of California at Davis, found, for instance, that most respected scientists produced more “bad” works than their lesser known peers because the former risk more productive activities. By the same token, Babe Ruth, the baseball player, had to accept more strikeouts in a single season than anyone else in order to hit more home runs in a single season than anyone else.
4. The beginner’s mind, like the playful child it is, constantly combines and recombines ideas, images, and thoughts. In other words, by like a child and entertain the possibility that anything and everything is possible. Consider the imaginary relationship between the comic-book character, Flash Gordon, and his adventures in space and the reality of space walks by today’s astronauts. Where do you think the ideas came from?In another venue, Albert Einstein combined the concepts of energy, mass, and the speed of light in a novel way and thus discovered a previously unknown relationship. One does not, therefore, necessarily have to discard the conventional box; one can re-envision it and thus redefine its characteristics and/or its relationship to a given problem.
5. The facility of connecting unconnected relationships allows one to see things others miss. When, for example, Samuel Morse was trying to figure out how produce a telegraphic signal strong enough to transmit from coast to coast, he observed teams of horses being exchanged at a relay station, where the tired horses were replaced by rested ones. From this observation, Morse deduced that a traveling signal of a given strength could cover the distance from coast to coast with the aid of periodic boosts of power along the way. What Morse discovered when he constructed the relay boosters for his telegraph signal was that we only possess the power of an insight when we give it expression by acting on it.
6. According to physicist David Bohm, one can think differently, i.e., outside the conventional box, if one can tolerate ambivalence between two incompatible subjects, to which Niels Bohr, another physicist, added that if one can hold opposites together in one’s mine, one will suspend one’s normal process of thinking and allow an intelligence beyond rational thought to create a new form. By way of example, consider that Bohr’s ability to imagine light as both a particle and a wave led to his conception of the principle of complementarily. Thus it is that creativity comes from understanding the paradoxical.
7. Thinking metaphorically, which is drawing analogies between abstract principles and concrete everyday occurrences, allows one to perceive resemblances between two separate areas of existence. Alexander Graham Bell compared the concrete everyday occurrence of how the inner ear works with the abstract notion of a stout piece of membrane as it moved steel and, in the process, conceptualized the telephone.
8. “Whenever we attempt to do something and fail,” says author Michael Michalko, “we end up doing something else,” which is the first principle of the creative accident. The second principle is recognizing the “accident” as a creative opportunity, asking ourselves what we have done, and answering our question in a novel, unexpected way, which, according to Michalko, “is the essential creative act.” This creative act is not luck, but rather where opportunity and a prepared beginner’s mind intersect outside of the conventional box, which Michalko calls “creative insight of the highest order.” (The preceding discussion is based on: Michael Michalko. 1998. The Art of Genius. Utne Reader, July-August:73-76.)

Here, perhaps, the most important lesson is to drop everything one is doing when something of interest rears its head and pursue it with singular focus. Many, or even most, intelligent people fail to make significant leaps of creativity because, having failed to engage their imaginations and think outside of their mental boxes, they have either accepted society’s collective limitations of perception and/or are fixated on their own preconceived notions and plans. But not so the person with a beginner’s minds; he or she both recognizes an interesting opportunity and pursues it relentlessly to fruition. Such people are the hope of the future. To which I must add that people who possess both a beginner’s mind and a highly developed spiritual awareness (as opposed to religious doctrine) will, in the end, have the most positive influence on changing the world for the better.

In my opinion, it behooves us all to find the moral courage and political will to unequivocally accept our adult responsibilities, those entrusted to us by one another and our children, and to make our decisions for the benefit of those we serve, present and future, because a decision—any decision—is but the first step in a never-ending story of cause and effect, the one(s) we each set into motion by our individual and collective choices. May we therefore decide wisely, with those in mine who must reap the consequences of our decisions as their circumstances—the children of all generations.

I am grateful to my wife, Zane, who helped me to improve this essay, especially the section titled:  “The ‘Why It Won’t Work’ Emptying Exercise.”

© Chris Maser, 2006. All rights reserved.

THE DECISIONS WE MAKE

by

Chris Maser

Elizabeth Sherrill, Guideposts Roving Editor, summarized in a few words the heart of my following discussion about socially responsible decisions. She wrote:

Promises [decisions] are scary things. To keep them means relinquishing some of our freedom; to break them means losing some of our integrity. Though we have to make them today, promises are all about tomorrow—and the only thing we know for sure about tomorrow is that we don’t know anything for sure!

Over the years, my experience has been that making decisions in the political arena is an area in which people know what they need to do on moral grounds (be it the President of the United States, a member of the Congress, a state governor, or someone in an agency) but are often afraid of doing it on political grounds because making a decision, especially if unpopular, brings one face to face with personal accountability, the risk of criticism, and quite possibly, if not probably, the loss of one’s job. The appalling lack of moral courage and political will in the United States today points to the fact that most people prefer the devil they know to the devil they don’t, which is but saying that the “terrible known” is often more comfortable than the unknown, even if the unknown promises to be better. People thus chart a course by consciously avoiding charting a course, which was precisely the circumstance in the British Parliament in 1935, prior the outbreak of World War II, which caused Winston Churchill to chide parliamentary members, because he saw with clear foreboding the onrushing threat of Nazi Germany:

When the situation was manageable it was neglected, and now that it is thoroughly out of hand we apply too late the remedies which then might have affected a cure. There is nothing new in the
story. . . . It falls into that long, dismal catalogue of the fruitlessness of experience and the confirmed unteachability of mankind. Want of foresight, unwillingness to act when action would be simple and effective, lack of clear thinking, confusion of counsel until the emergency comes, until self-preservation strikes its jarring gong—these are the features which constitute the endless repetition of history.

While in Churchill’s time, World War II was the critical component affecting human survival, today it’s the declining health of the environment. How are the political leaders of today any different than the members of parliamentary in Churchill’s time? Where in the United States today are the unequivocal voices among local and national politicians who speak for the children through such actions as a firm commitment to doing our part in cleaning the air and eliminating the production of greenhouse gasses? Where are the unequivocal voices among local and national leaders who not only speak for but also stand firmly behind maintaining the productive capacity of the ecosystem, from the local scale to the national scale and beyond?

Without such voices of moral courage and unconditional political commitment to the future in each community in the United States and each nation in the world, we, the adults, are condemning the children—our children and grandchildren—to pay a progressively awful price for our petty, psychological immaturities as we bicker amongst ourselves about who will do what, rather than accepting the sometimes bitter pill of our adult responsibilities. Based on the lack of moral fiber and political will I so often witness in today’s “leaders,” I wonder how many of them will be able to look into the mirror of their reflective years and say: “I’m glad I made that decision the way I did!” rather than,” I wish I had made that decision differently. . .”

Part of the problem is that we, in every generation, too often do not understand that a particular level of consciousness, which causes a problem in the first place, is not the level of consciousness that can fix it; so most people keep doing the same thing over and over (despite the lessons of world history), while each time expecting new and dramatically different results. This is but saying that if one thinks the way one has always thought, one will naturally get the same results one has always gotten.

The above paragraph is, in large measure, a summation of the way in which Western industrial society has navigated the 20th century, a century in deadly grapple between society’s immediate materialistic wants and demands and the environment’s sustainable capacity to produce that which is desired. Unless we are finally willing to change our thinking, we will surely navigate the 21st century in much the same manner as we have the 20th century, but with far deadlier results. Our task for this century, if our society is going to continue to exist as we know it, must be for each of us adults to elevate our own level of consciousness above that which caused the environmental problems of last century. And fortunately, we can elevate our consciousness individually—and thus collectively—because we can each control our thoughts, our motives, our attitudes, and our behavior.

Be that as it may, a decision is no more and no less than the selection of a choice of action from amongst an array of choices of potential actions. We all have choices, and one of the great paradoxes of life is that we must choose. Not to choose, not to decide, is simply not an option because not choosing is still a choice, still a conscious decision. Making a decision—any decision—is as easy as the snap of one’s fingers. Why, then, are so many people in public service unwilling to make socially responsible decisions and, what’s worse, unwilling to keep their commitment to those decisions?

While making a socially responsible decision is easy, becoming psychologically mature enough (other-centered enough) to make such a decision and be openly accountable for its outcome is often difficult because one must live with the results of one’s actions. This poses a myriad problems for psychologically immature (self-centered) people seeking the impossible—to make their lives risk free by avoiding personal responsibility while retaining a sense of power. “It is easier,” as author Marsha Sinetar says, “to manipulate, blame or seduce others into labeling us or doing things for us than it is to define ourselves or to do things for ourselves in our own way.” This, continues Sinetar, is how “people avoid taking authority and authorship for their own lives.”

Sinetar’s words were echoed at a university dinner my wife, Zane, and I attended. During the meal, the head of a department, who sat next to us, looked around to see who might be listening or who might be able to hear and then said in a quiet voice, “The secret of climbing the ladder in university politics is to never make a decision; that way, you can pass the blame when things fail and claim the credit when they work.” In their zeal to avoid personal responsibility, such psychologically immature people have invented a number of myths to rationalize why they cannot make a socially responsible decision that would perchance embodied the risk of changing their personal circumstances.

Each myth is supported by a pattern of belief that reinforces the perceived disaster looming in the immediate future. This way of thinking simply means that our negative beliefs are normally far stronger than our faith in a positive outcome, when faced with making a socially responsible decision. According to author Caroline Myss, we cling so tenaciously to our negative beliefs because we think of them as being just around the corner, whereas our positive beliefs we project into an unlikely future. But regardless of what we believe, it’s a belief and not a fact.

Thus, according to Myss, no myth releases its grip on one’s psyche without a fight. If, therefore, one is intent on being a genuine, other-centered public servant, one has no choice but to engage in that battle by developing thought-forms to supplant the negative myths with beliefs in a positive future of which one is determined to be a creative and responsible part. To become such a person, one must learn to see things as the best they can be—not as they apparently are.

THE MYTHOLOGY OF ABNEGATING PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY

Although mythology is variously construed as a fundamental frame of reference for how to lead one’s life, it is here meant as an intellectual fabrication used to justify existing in one’s fear of change, rather than fully engaging life, which entails a measure of risk. The mythology of abnegating personal responsibility, like a chameleon, assumes a number of guises, of which I will discuss seven.

Myth One—I Can’t Change Because I’m Locked In

A common myth of being stuck, which has surfaced over the years, is the notion of being locked into a certain position or circumstance in life, of being out of control and thus unable to change one’s current existence. The truth, however, is that we, each and every one of us, always have a choice, that no one is “locked” into anything, that change is always an option. While a person of faith and psychological maturity will examine first and foremost the opportunities presented by an impending change, be they personal growth or material gain, and will weigh the associated risk accordingly, a psychologically immature person, who lacks faith, will focus first and foremost on the perceived risk of loosing whatever he or she already has and thus decline the opportunity, no matter how good or important it is intuitively known to be. Thus, as British philosopher James Allen noted: “Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself.” Or as author Anaïs Nin wrote: “We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are.”

Some years ago, for example, a man, I’ll call him “Bob,” who worked for a government agency, was sold on a job by a friend in a different state with a different government agency, and Bob took the job only to find out that it was neither ethically planned nor ethically administered. Although Bob could have gone back to work for the agency he left, where he had felt good about what he did, he said that he was “locked in” to his new job, despite his better judgment, and that, when he allowed himself to think about it, he felt betrayed, miserable, depressed, and dishonest.

When I asked why he did not go back to his original agency, which had gladly offered him his old job, Bob said it was too expensive to move again, that he had just gotten his family settled, that he was just learning the ropes of his new job, which he hoped might get better, but he did not see how it could. Finally, Bob said it was not fair to let his friend down, while steadfastly refusing to acknowledge that his friend had sold him a bad bill of goods. He had a litany of reasons that sounded good, but when really pressed, it turned out that Bob found it easier to stay, where he knew in his heart he did not belong, rather than risk the potential ridicule of changing his mind and admitting, by going back to his old agency and job, that he’d made a terrible mistake.

True, returning to his old job would undoubtedly have caused short-term hardships, but it would have earned him his self-respect and the inner peace of feeling good about what he did to earn his living. Instead, Bob prostituted his fundamental beliefs to avoid the short-term pain of taking personal responsibility for what turned out to have been an unwise decision. In so doing, he paid a much higher personal cost over a much longer period of time.

Another spin on this myth is that the “terrible known” is more comfortable than the unknown, even when one can clearly see that it promises to be better. How often I have heard someone say: I know I must do something else because I’m no longer fulfilled by my job or doing it justice, but I can’t quit now. I’m too close to retirement, and I can’t risk giving that up. However, the real question is: how many years of misery is one willing to accept, rather than experience personal growth, joy, and fulfillment by risking change.

Myth Two—I Can’t Commit Future Leaders to a Course of Action

When I worked as a research scientist in the USDI Bureau of Land Management, and later served as an advisor to county government in my home county, I was told by more than one person faced with an uncomfortable decision that he could neither speak for, nor commit, future leaders to a particular coarse of action, that it was unfair to “lock them in.” With this kind of thinking, there would not be a Constitution of the United States of America or a Bill of Rights for US citizens, nor would there be national parks or national forests because the decision-makers would have sought to avoid the risk of making a decision that would be unpopular with the people who had the political power to execute them for treason in the former case and turn them out of office in the latter.

Despite one’s personal trepidations, some decisions, which in fact are a lock and key to enrich the future, must be made in the present moment, such as the Congressional authorizion of wilderness areas or protection of endangered species. If the people responsible for the authorship and passage of these legal mandates had not had the individual courage embodied in the psychologically maturity to act for the benefit of future generations, despite fierce opposition, our nation and all its people would indeed be culturally and spiritually poorer today, while a very few individuals would have made substantial monetary gains.

Eighteenth-century British philosopher and statesman Edmund Burke succinctly addressed the problem of the monetary greed of the few at the cultural and spiritual expense of the many when he wrote:

Men are qualified for civil liberty in exact proportion to their disposition to put moral chains upon their own appetites. . . . Society cannot exist unless a controlling power upon will and appetite be placed somewhere, and the less of it there is within, the more there must be without. It is ordained in the eternal constitution of things that men [and women] of intemperate minds cannot be free. Their passions forge their fetters.

Burke’s statement brings to mind the test every public decision-maker must confront and pass if he, or she, is to make socially responsible decisions. The test was aptly described by Senator William Pitt Fessenden of Maine as he delivered the eulogy in 1866 for Senator Foot of Vermont:

When, Mr. President, a man becomes a member of this body hecannot even dream of the ordeal to which he cannot fail to be exposed;

of how much courage he must possess to resist the temptations which daily beset him;

of that sensitive shrinking from undeserved censure which he must learn to control;

of the ever-recurring contest between a natural desire for public approbation and a sense of public duty;

of the load of injustice he must be content to bear, even from those who should be his friends;

the imputations of his motives;

the sneers and sarcasms of ignorance and malice;

all the manifold injuries which partisan or private malignity, disappointed of its objects, may shower upon his unprotected head.

All this, Mr. President, if he would retain his integrity, he must learn to bear unmoved, and walk steadily onward in the path of duty, sustained only by the reflection that time may do him justice, or if not, that after all his individual hopes and aspirations, and even his name among men, should be of little account to him when weighed in the balance against the welfare of a people of whose destiny he is a constituted guardian and defender.

Two years after Senator Fessenden delivered this eulogy, his vote to acquit Andrew Johnson brought about the fulfillment of his own prophecy. This is often the price of true social responsibility. Unfortunately, few people have the moral courage to pay it because, as James Allen wrote: “Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound.”

Myth Three—It’s not My Responsibility Because It’s not in My Job Description

It is quite common, I have found, for people afraid to make a decision to rationalize that the letter of the law, the letter of their job description, must be followed at any cost, rather than embrace the heart or intent of either and risk making a conscious choice based on their moral judgment, social responsibility, or the greater good of humanity. And make no mistake, all decisions are based on morality because we humans are subjective creatures; we cannot be otherwise. If you think you are, or can be, objective, try holding a neutral thought in your mind for one minute.

Myth Four—I Can’t Make a Decision Because I Lack Definitive Data

We will never have enough data, let alone perfect data, which translates into all the data we desire to make an entirely safe decision. But not to make a socially responsible decision is still to make a decision, albeit one that usually proves to be less than wise. For those who suffer interminable labor pains of giving birth to a decision, I would point out that, in the end, there are but two choices (too soon or too late) because virtually all data are inconclusive. Generally speaking, therefore, I find that too soon is better then too late.

On the other hand, claims of not having either definitive data or enough data to warrant a change has long been used by the timber industry to justify business as usual. I say this because I, who use to be a research ecologist in forestry, encountered this argument endlessly from the industrialists, even as an expert witness in the court of law. The argument went something like this: We don’t have enough data to prove conclusively that we need to change the way we do business. Therefore, we won’t change because it would introduce economic uncertainty into our business and cost us too much. If, however, you can prove definitively that change is necessary, we’ll consider it.

Although the latter statement sounds reasonable, conclusive proof is, of course, impossible—especially if one summarily rejects all scientific data that goes counter to one’s desired outcome. Nevertheless, this refrain is played like a broken record, regardless of how much data are on hand that demonstrate the ecological necessity of change in order to ensure, as much as possible, a sustainable future for all generations.

But not all people plead ignorance because of a lack of data to avoid making a responsible decision. I once sat next to a building contractor on a flight from Alaska to Oregon. Knowing nothing about building a house, I asked him how he did it.

“Well,” he said, “before I buy the first nail or board, I build the house a hundred times in my head so that I can see and fix all the potential problems before they arise. As long as the house stands as I built it, I’m only one who really knows it, regardless of who buys it or how long they live in it.”

Although the contractor did not have perfect data, he did the level best he could with the data on hand, and he took responsibility for his work. It was, after all, his identity as a person and an artisan that went into the construction of each house, and his integrity meant more to him than the money he could make by using cheap materials and cutting other hidden corners.

Myth Five—It Can’t be True, so I Won’t Believe it

When one refuses to accept data, no matter how clearly valid it is, one is steeped in an interesting dichotomy—the need to know and the fear of knowing, which can be thought of as informed denial. In this instance, a person gathers all the data possible, always hoping it will affirm his or her point of view, while simultaneously rejecting out of hand any unfavorable data by denying or refusing to believe its scientific validity. To give this notion a human face, I know a man whose refrain to anything that threatens his point of view is: “I’m skeptical.” With this statement, he summarily dismissed whatever he finds to be uncomfortable.

In addition, I use to know a wildlife biologist who worked for a state department of fish and game. He is perhaps the most extreme example of informed denial. His professional responsibilities included looking out for the welfare of a herd of elk that used parts of two counties as its habitat. Scientists within the same department studied this particular herd of elk across its geographical range, but the biologist would not accept any data as valid from the neighboring county, if it posed for him an uncomfortable decision. This is known as the “NIH Factor,” which means it’s “not invented here” and thus, by definition, is invalid.

Another colleague of mine used a slightly different approach. He navigated his professional life ignoring whatever he did not want to deal with on the theory that, if ignored long enough, whatever it was would simply go away, which included bothersome people.

Informed denial is perhaps the most rampant myth, when it comes to avoiding the personal risk of making an unpopular, but socially responsible, decision. I have found this myth in every conceivable bureaucratic closet in every level of government in the United States. If you doubt the accuracy of this statement, read the newspaper with an open mind and a discerning eye or listen to the news with an open mind and a discerning ear.

Myth Six—Yes, But I Have to Face Reality

“What you say is all well and good, but I have to face reality.” “It’s fine to be idealistic, and it would indeed be nice if things could be that way, but the reality is. . . .” Note that the foregoing statements summarily dismiss the other person’s point of view.

Facing reality, as it is put forth to avoid making a socially responsible decision one feels is risky, boils down staying within the limits of someone else’s intellectual, political, or economic “bottom line.” Reality, however, is what we each make it to be based on the philosophical underpinnings of our individual worldview. Such views are founded on the fear of potential loss or on the faith of potential opportunities. Although the choice is ours, the vast majority of people unfortunately elect the former.

Myth Seven—What You Are Asking is Impossible

“What you’re asking is impossible; it can’t be done.”

While I was still working as a scientist for the Bureau of Land Management, I wanted to hire an extremely well-qualified woman as a plant ecologist to help with some work. I went carefully through all the necessary hoops the personnel department put in front of me. After six months, however, the head of personnel told me that I could not hire the woman, that it was impossible. When I asked him why, he simply repeated that it was impossible. Finding his answer unacceptable, I went to the State Director, and explained the situation.

“Ridiculous!” he exploded.

With that, he picked up the telephone, called the head of personnel, and the woman was hired within 15 minutes.

As it turned out, the head of personnel had use inappropriate judgment a some months earlier and had been reprimanded. So, still feeling like his pride had been stung by mad hornet, he was taking no chances when my request reached him. His problem this time: by not acting appropriately out of fear of criticism, he got himself in trouble once again.

By suggesting that the required decision is impossible, one is pleading impotence from a position of power, thereby seeking to avoid personal responsibility. When Napoléon Bonaparte was confronted with such a situation, he said, “You write to me that it’s impossible; the word is not French.”

So, in the end, what are these myths protecting? They are protecting the fear of self-definition and personal responsibility for one’s decisions, and in the process are perpetuating one’s existence in the maw of one’s own fear.

FEAR

Although reputed to come in many guises because we fling it outward at such things as change, successes, failure, personal responsibility, criticism, and so on, fear is rooted in one particular facet of our lives—loosing our sense of control. Fear has only one garment with which to cover its various psychological projections, no matter how good they sound.

Fear’s singe garment is the anticipation of an unwanted outcome cast into an unknown future, where we envision ourselves as slaves to an undoubtedly disastrous circumstance beyond our control. Therefore, fear exists simply for the sake of itself and is made real only when we empower it with our thoughts, something President Franklin Delano Roosevelt understood, as evidenced by a comment he made to his wife, Eleanor, on their first date.

While dancing, a nervous Eleanor stepped on Franklin’s foot and apologized profusely, prompting him to ask her if she was frightened. When she replied yes, he told her: “Fear is an illusion. If you use the same energy to be confident, the most wonderful things happen.” Unfortunately, few people think the way FDR did and are thus confronted almost daily by fear, especially when facing critical decisions.

The following are some of the guises of fear that people face when confronted with the necessity of making an unpopular, but socially responsible, decision:

• change, which is seen as having to confront an uncertain, unknowable future of some scale of real or imagined magnitude with no guarantee of a successful outcome, so one of two things usually happens—either one bargains with the circumstance by trying to scale down the amount of change necessary and thereby minimize the perceived risk of unknown consequences, or one studiously resists change through informed denial of the needed change; in the first case, one tries to cut the best possible deal, and in the latter case, one steadfastly avoids making any decision if at all possible
• failure in one’s endeavor and the ridicule it may bring, so one hides from the requisite decisions
• success and the greater visibility and expectations to which it may lead, so one sabotages any chances of success by making poor decisions, most often unconsciously
• criticism, which most people take personally, so risky decisions are left unattended
• personal responsibility, which is dealt with through a perpetual lack of focus, confusion, and a dissipation of energy via numerous distractions, which preclude a risky decision
• losing one’s position of authority, which is seen as personal power and control, so the political wind is constantly tested lest a responsible decision be made in unfavorable times and thus jeopardize one’s position

The following examples, in contrast, represent projections of fear flung by someone at a person who is expecting a socially responsible decision to be made:

• What you are asking for is too expensive; who will pay the bill?
• You’re being too philosophical in your approach to this decision—forgetting, of course, that every concrete idea has its own philosophical foundation.
• What you’re asking is unrealistic.
• You’re expecting too much, too fast.
• You’re asking people to go against human nature.
• There isn’t enough data to support your position.

These reasons all sound good, but they’re not real. If, for instance, each time you ran out a reason why change was impractical or impossible, I was to respond by saying: “Other than that (which is the reason you just cited), what is stopping you from making a decision?” you would sooner or later run out of false reasons, no matter how plausible they sounded. Then, and only then, would the real reason come out—whatever it is that you are afraid of.

“Nothing is so much to be feared as fear,” wrote Henry David Thoreau. Fear, which is always the anticipation of something that might happen but has not yet happen, can exist only in the future. Fear is being afraid that something, which happened, might have happened, or could have happened to someone else in the past, and could happen again—to you. True, it could happen again, but that does not mean it will.

While there is always the possibility that a given negative thing might happen, the probability is that it won’t. Conversely, there is always the possibilitythat a given positive thing will happen, and the probability, in my experience at least, is that it will because I find far more positive things happening in my life each day than negative things.

Consider briefly your own life. How many events, which you originally took to be negative, actually turned out to be positive? You may well find, upon review, that the vast majority of your life has been positive. So you can look upon FEAR as an acronym for: False Evidence Appearing Real.

The problem is that we tend not only to remember the negative things but also to focus on them. I say this because I have found, in the years I’ve dealt with the resolution of environmental conflicts, that people agree on about 80% of everything and disagree on the remaining 20%. Nevertheless, it’s the latter on which they focus, to the exclusion of the former. When, however, people focus on the areas of agreement, the contested areas are put into perspective and become largely or totally negotiable.

Yitzak Rabin, the Israeli Prime Minister and warrior, learned this lesson well, and in teaching it to the world, forfeited his life to a young Israeli man who could not see beyond his own fear and hatred. All the years Rabin lead the fight against the Palestinians, Israel was in danger of attack. Then, as Prime Minister, he realized that the only way Israel would ever have national security would be if the Palestinians also had national security. Thus, the one-time warrior became the emissary of peace, a transformation of heart and mind that took the utmost courage. Sadly, the peace process initiated by Rabin died with him, because no one else seemed to fully understand what he saw, much less demonstrate the courage to carry it through to conclusion.

In this context, Buddhism offers an important insight: fear cannot exist in the present moment, in the here and how, despite the fact that it is ordained in the nature of life that we never know from one moment to the next how things will turn out. This being the case, one can see the future as positive or negative depending on whether one chooses to focuses on the possible opportunities or possible disasters, both of which are part of any future. You can, therefore, choose a possibility mindset based on faith and live virtually free of fear, as instructed in an old Chinese proverb: Fear knocked at the door; faith opened it; and there was no one there.

Consider the observation of Helen B. Juniper of Claremont, California. As she jogged around the warm-up track, carefully avoiding mud puddles and soft places, she began to notice the different imprints people’s sneakers left in the mud. Where, she suddenly wondered, were her footprints. Stopping, she pressed the sole of one shoe into the damp soil, made a mental note of her sole’s pattern, and began looking for it on the track. It was, however, difficult for her to find any sign of her passing because she avoided all the soft places, which caused her to realize just how easy it is to avoid the uncertain spots in life—like making a socially responsible but unpopular decision—and thereby leave little impression in one’s passing. Now, she says, she is more willing in her life to go into challenging territory, where fear may still resides, and let her prints stand out in bold relief, as did Yitzak Rabin, “to encourage those who follow.”

THE “WHY IT WON’T WORK” EMPTYING EXERCISE

Most of us, in the process of growing up, became trained, albeit often unconsciously, by our parents, teachers, peers, and our societal framework in the habit of negative, limited thinking. How frequently are we told why something is not possible, why we can’t do what we have dreamed of doing, or why we won’t succeed. The old television series, “Mission Impossible,” which Napoléon would assure us in not a French program, cast each episode in the unlikely realm of the impossible, and the whole point of the show was to accomplish that which on the surface appeared highly improbable—in other words, to prove it possible!

With so many years of ingrained and habituated, negative self-reinforcing feedback loops, no wonder many of us can throw out, quicker than you can snap your fingers, a litany of why something we’re afraid to do won’t work. When the world turns around such a negative, central axis, is it any wonder that so much of life has been contaminated with this perspective? The worst-case scenario becomes the area of life in which one exists, one’s comfort zone, as it were. A possibility, opportunity mentality actually becomes the unfamiliar country of discomfort, where one is loath to sojourn or even dream.

Just to balance the equation in a more holistic perspective, it’s heart warming to acknowledge that there are individuals who look on the bright side, the best-case scenario: What can we do? Why will this work? What are the successes here? These individuals constitute role models worthy of our emulation. They are the explorers, the trailblazers, the path finders of potential possibilities and opportunities who habitually see the growth or gain, even when it entails suffering and pain.

Stop for a moment and allow yourself to feel the territory—positive or negative—in which you most often think, speak, and act. What is your perspective generally like?

Try an experiment to see if you can really get a grasp of how pervasive your overall attitude affects your thoughts, your choices, your growth or the lack thereof, and your life in both small and large ways. Consider an issue you may currently be grappling with. It can be something with your spouse or partner, your child, your job, whether to take some kind of course, or even as mundane as deciding whether to paint the exterior of your house and what color(s) to choose.

When you have chosen the issue, allow your thoughts free reign, as much as you can. Let them be spontaneous and uncensored. Then take a sheet of paper and begin to record your stream of thoughts, without any inner editorial advice.

Once you simply give yourself permission to feel the way you do, you will see the pattern of your thinking. Did you, for example, run out a stream of all the reasons why, whatever it is, won’t work: why it’s a stupid idea; why it’s too difficult; why it’s too time consuming; why it’s too expensive; why you need to be concern about what others will think of you; and so on? Were you able to detect how this negative gush of why it won’t work sabotaged every potentially positive action or outcome, even that of feeling good about yourself? As you flushed out all the apparent reasons why whatever it is wouldn’t work, did you notice that your thoughts began to change as the negatives dissipated?

In an atmosphere of acceptance, you may notice that you actually begin considering the reasons why, whatever it is, could work, why the idea or direction is both reasonable and possible. Yes, maybe I can do this or that. Maybe it’s a plausible idea or plan that I didn’t see because my fear and its gang of grisly accomplices were casting their shadows into my light.

You may recall the children’s story of the little train with its fear and it’s dialogue as it approached its test of: “oh that hill looks daunting and impossible to climb” to “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can” as the train kept on going up the hill. As it crested the peak of achievement, it’s positive, reaffirming refrain became: “I knew I could, I knew I could, I knew I could.”

You too can reach the top of the hill by making the frightening decision with which you are confronted, but unlike the little train confined to its pre-laid tracks, you have the option of thinking outside of box you find yourself in, which is but saying that your imagination lays the tracks for your reality to follow. Thinking outside the box is a gift of Zen, and is called having a beginner’s mind.

THINKING OUTSIDE OF THE BOX

It is likely that most people in their lives have seen a beginner at a game win it easily and/or have someone say, somewhat disparagingly: “That just beginner’s luck.” It wasn’t beginner’s luck, but rather the open-ended thinking of a beginner’s mind that was on display.

A beginner at anything is unfettered by the mental limitations imposed by someone else’s rules and thus can see what the answers might be because he or she does not know what they should be according to conventional wisdom. The one who thinks of himself or herself as an expert, on the other hand, is bounded by the rules that govern being an expert. Such a person considers himself or herself as something special, the one who knows the “correct” answer, yet is too often blind to what other, equally valid, answers might be. The beginner is free to explore and discover, whereas the expert grows rigid in a self-created, mental prison. However, I know of two women and a man who exemplify the beginner’s mind.

I have often used a simple exercise, which requires nothing more than six wooden toothpicks, to help people understand that their imaginations are either as tethered as their blind acceptance of social convention or as free as their willingness to reach beyond such convention in seeking their soul’s creative eye—their willingness to think outside of the socially constructed and acceptable box. The instructions are simple enough: Sit at the table and make four equilateral triangles out of the six toothpicks without crossing one over another.

Rarely does a person succeed, because it seems impossible to accomplish this feat on the single dimension of a table’s flat surface, which their minds quickly tell them, even as they struggle not to accept it. They think it must be possible because they were told to do it, but they can’t figure out how and eventually give up. There are, however, at least four ways to solve this problem.

The way I had learned to solve the problem was to make one triangle on the table’s flat surface and then stand the other three upright within the one, thus encompassing more than a single dimension. The second, third, and fourth ways both entail breaking the toothpicks and arrange them appropriately on the table’s surface.

This first time I saw the problem solved by breaking a toothpick was at a workshop I was conducting to help wildlife biologists look beyond professional convention for answers to their management problems. During the workshop, one of the biologists came to me and said that his wife, who had accompanied him to the meeting, was interested in what was being discussed and asked if she could join group.

With the lady sitting at the table, I gave my usual instructions and then simply watched what happened. While all the men arranged and rearranged their toothpicks to no avail, she put hers on the table and sat looking at them. Suddenly, a tiny smile crept over her face. Picking up a toothpick, she laid it down at an angle. Then she deftly broke the second in two, laying each half across from the other on each side of the middle of the first toothpick. Finally, she arranged the remaining four in a square to close the exposed sides. Although not perfect because she had not removed a piece of the broken toothpick to account for the width of the first one, which she had laid on the table, she had four triangles!

Over the years, I have continued giving my original instructions, wondering if anyone else would break a toothpick. Finally, after more than two decades, a sixth grade teacher looked at her toothpicks for about thirty seconds, then looked up and asked, “Can I break the toothpicks?”

“Yes,” I answered, and then asked, “How did you figure that out so fast?”

“Well,” she said, “any time I’m given limits, the first thing I do is check them to see if there’s an alternative.”

What a marvelous answer! How fortunate her students! They have a rare teacher, one with a beginner’s mind who regularly checks the mental box she is given to see if there is a way to get outside for a new and different view.

The third way to solve the problem came from a district ranger in the U.S. Forest Service. I gave him six toothpicks and the usual instructions. Seated at his kitchen table, he laid the toothpicks on the table’s top, looked at them for a few seconds, while his young son watched, and then broke each toothpick in two.

The boy turned to me with a questioning voice and said: “He broke them.”

“He didn’t tell me I couldn’t,” replied his father as he made four equilateral triangles on the tabletop, with one piece left over.

The fourth way came from a woman who look at the tooth picks for about 30 seconds, and then broke them all, after which she proceeded to make four equal sided triangles of different sizes all hooked together on the flat of a table. When she had finished, she looked at me with a question in her eyes. All I could say was: “Marvelous!“

Once again, I had never said that all the triangles needed to be the same size, only that the sides had to be equal in length. This woman is the only person I have seen make the triangles different sizes.

What does this exercise have to do with making a decision? First, it demonstrates that most socialized individuals become stuck within socially imposed limitations to their imaginations, whether real or not. Second, it shows there are a relatively few, rare individuals who refuse to accept the intellectual box society attempts so hard to put around their minds and thereby simply remain open to the possibilities—a beginner’s mind.

The beginner’s mind, in turn, allows each person’s inner genius to unfold. There are at least eight ways in which one can think outside the socially restrictive box, ways of thinking that one can adapt to making decisions:

1. Examine each problem from every conceivable angle, i.e., question everything, which means abandoning the first approach that comes to mind because it likely stems from past experience. This necessitates re-conceptualizing the problem, which not only can solve the immediate problem but also will identify a new one. In this case, one might, for example, think of the four people who found ways to make four equilateral triangles by breaking the toothpicks.
2. Make thoughts visible by developing the visual and spatial ability to display information in new ways—a picture is worth a thousand words. Some people us flow diagrams. I once knew an architect who built a freestanding model out of balsam wood when he came across a conceptual problem, the solution for which he could not find on paper. The model also served to translate the concept from the one-dimensional blueprint into a multidimensional image for the contractor.
3. Be productive. Dean Keith Simonton, of the University of California at Davis, found, for instance, that most respected scientists produced more “bad” works than their lesser known peers because the former risk more productive activities. By the same token, Babe Ruth, the baseball player, had to accept more strikeouts in a single season than anyone else in order to hit more home runs in a single season than anyone else.
4. The beginner’s mind, like the playful child it is, constantly combines and recombines ideas, images, and thoughts. In other words, by like a child and entertain the possibility that anything and everything is possible. Consider the imaginary relationship between the comic-book character, Flash Gordon, and his adventures in space and the reality of space walks by today’s astronauts. Where do you think the ideas came from?In another venue, Albert Einstein combined the concepts of energy, mass, and the speed of light in a novel way and thus discovered a previously unknown relationship. One does not, therefore, necessarily have to discard the conventional box; one can re-envision it and thus redefine its characteristics and/or its relationship to a given problem.
5. The facility of connecting unconnected relationships allows one to see things others miss. When, for example, Samuel Morse was trying to figure out how produce a telegraphic signal strong enough to transmit from coast to coast, he observed teams of horses being exchanged at a relay station, where the tired horses were replaced by rested ones. From this observation, Morse deduced that a traveling signal of a given strength could cover the distance from coast to coast with the aid of periodic boosts of power along the way. What Morse discovered when he constructed the relay boosters for his telegraph signal was that we only possess the power of an insight when we give it expression by acting on it.
6. According to physicist David Bohm, one can think differently, i.e., outside the conventional box, if one can tolerate ambivalence between two incompatible subjects, to which Niels Bohr, another physicist, added that if one can hold opposites together in one’s mine, one will suspend one’s normal process of thinking and allow an intelligence beyond rational thought to create a new form. By way of example, consider that Bohr’s ability to imagine light as both a particle and a wave led to his conception of the principle of complementarily. Thus it is that creativity comes from understanding the paradoxical.
7. Thinking metaphorically, which is drawing analogies between abstract principles and concrete everyday occurrences, allows one to perceive resemblances between two separate areas of existence. Alexander Graham Bell compared the concrete everyday occurrence of how the inner ear works with the abstract notion of a stout piece of membrane as it moved steel and, in the process, conceptualized the telephone.
8. “Whenever we attempt to do something and fail,” says author Michael Michalko, “we end up doing something else,” which is the first principle of the creative accident. The second principle is recognizing the “accident” as a creative opportunity, asking ourselves what we have done, and answering our question in a novel, unexpected way, which, according to Michalko, “is the essential creative act.” This creative act is not luck, but rather where opportunity and a prepared beginner’s mind intersect outside of the conventional box, which Michalko calls “creative insight of the highest order.” (The preceding discussion is based on: Michael Michalko. 1998. The Art of Genius. Utne Reader, July-August:73-76.)

Here, perhaps, the most important lesson is to drop everything one is doing when something of interest rears its head and pursue it with singular focus. Many, or even most, intelligent people fail to make significant leaps of creativity because, having failed to engage their imaginations and think outside of their mental boxes, they have either accepted society’s collective limitations of perception and/or are fixated on their own preconceived notions and plans. But not so the person with a beginner’s minds; he or she both recognizes an interesting opportunity and pursues it relentlessly to fruition. Such people are the hope of the future. To which I must add that people who possess both a beginner’s mind and a highly developed spiritual awareness (as opposed to religious doctrine) will, in the end, have the most positive influence on changing the world for the better.

In my opinion, it behooves us all to find the moral courage and political will to unequivocally accept our adult responsibilities, those entrusted to us by one another and our children, and to make our decisions for the benefit of those we serve, present and future, because a decision—any decision—is but the first step in a never-ending story of cause and effect, the one(s) we each set into motion by our individual and collective choices. May we therefore decide wisely, with those in mine who must reap the consequences of our decisions as their circumstances—the children of all generations.

I am grateful to my wife, Zane, who helped me to improve this essay, especially the section titled: “The ‘Why It Won’t Work’ Emptying Exercise.”

© Chris Maser, 2006. All rights reserved.

I spent over 25 years as an active research scientist in natural history and ecology in forest, shrub steppe, subarctic, desert, coastal, and agricultural settings. Today I am an independent author as well as an international lecturer, facilitator in resolving environmental conflicts, vision statements, and sustainable community development. I am also an international consultant in forest ecology and sustainable forestry practices.

I Have Lived, Worked, Consulted, And/Or Lectured In: Austria • Canada • Chile • Egypt • France • Germany • Japan • Malaysia • Nepal • Slovakia • Switzerland • and various settings in the United States.

If you want to contact me, visit my website: http://chrismaser.com/index.htm

The whole family having fun in the beautiful leaves near their home

To see more portraits captured in clients homes (and nearby locations) please click here

On the 31st October I travelled to Mirfield to photograph Vanessa & her gorgeous family: Gary, Kieron, Jamie and Nathan.  It was a gorgeous autumn day, the family were great fun and we captured so many images that I love!

Vanessa bought the shoot voucher as a birthday gift for Gary ….  (hope you are happy with the results Gary!)

Here are just a few samples from the shoot, there are many more I am keeping secret until the viewing later this week ……

Dad telling a very funny (made up) story!

Big brother Kieron in his bedroom (a moment of peace away from the twins!)

Jamie & Nathan can't wait to pile on their brother! squeeze .....

This room was very very tidy before I arrived! sorry Vanessa!

Jamie ... very cheeky and extra cute

Nathan ... also very cheeky, but very cute!

The family got unruly, so I locked them in the garden.

“Thanks Vanessa & Gary for arranging this shoot and for being up for a laugh in your shoot!  Your boys really are absolutely lovely, you must be so proud of them …. see you soon! “

To see more portraits captured in clients homes (and nearby locations) please click here

]]> http://bestofpublib.wordpress.com/2009/11/23/bop112309/ Mon, 23 Nov 2009 18:52:21 +0000 Robert Balliot http://bestofpublib.wordpress.com/2009/11/23/bop112309/ http://kidsminjumps.wordpress.com/2009/11/23/jump-and-jump-zone-stuff-november-22-2009/ Mon, 23 Nov 2009 18:36:00 +0000 kidsminjumps http://kidsminjumps.wordpress.com/2009/11/23/jump-and-jump-zone-stuff-november-22-2009/ http://scottphotographyblog.org/2009/11/23/robie/ Mon, 23 Nov 2009 18:25:20 +0000 davewhitscott http://scottphotographyblog.org/2009/11/23/robie/

This week we’re in (cue music…) Texas!!!  We’ll be visiting with family and doing some sessions as well.  If you missed the opportunity to book with us this week, we’ll be making another trip around Christmas.  Stay current with blog posts and follow our travel sessions through our Scott Photography facebook page HERE! And did I mention that we’re thinking of giving away some free stuff?  Just saying….  Here’s the first of our Oklahoma City sessions from a few weeks ago.  It was a whirlwind trip, but lots of fun – and we only had one cancellation due to swine flu!

I love it when David is able to do a shoot with me, mostly because of precious pictures like this!  If you’ve ever photographed children, you know how difficult it is to get a great expression from them and actually capture that expression with the camera… but if you’ve got a crazy Dave standing behind you  making silly faces?  It’s a snap!  Dave was obviously not behind me for this picture.  Soooo precious!

This was a family session for one of my close college friends, Nicole.  I think anyone would bond over a year’s worth of Psychological Statistics, and while we could pull the grades, we still got in trouble for chatting and giggling just like fourth graders.  Of course, now neither one of us is using our Psychology degrees -other than on our spouses and children.  Is that wrong?

We did this session at the Myriad Botanical Gardens in downtown Oklahoma City.  Doesn’t it just look magical?  I would SO have this picture as a big canvas over my couch.  Thanks to Nicole and her family for a fun afternoon.  Your Christmas cards are on the way!

Seriously, this cannot be called work!  Photographing four great kids on a beautiful Fall afternoon is FUN!  Christopher and Lauren are cousins to Conner and Allie.  They all four live here in Abilene and each goes to a different school this year and that shows in one of the images where they are sporting their school t-shirts!

Autism effects every child differently, so it is difficult to find the exact treatments your child needs to cope with his or her symptoms. One thing that effects some autistic children (though, not all) is problems with visual perception. By using some standardized methods to help improve visual perception, you can give your child the ability to see the world more clearly, making learning and comprehension easier and possibly curbing some behavior problems as well.

Autistic children mainly have problems with sensory overload and distortion. These are some of the same problems many people not suffering from the disorder develop, and so many treatment options have become available. Individuals with autism often find, however, that the sensory overload of the world due to light, colors, contrast, shapes, and patterns, is too much to handle, causing them to act out or shut down in general.  This is sometimes a genetic condition that is simply enhanced by the autism, so if the child’s parents have trouble with reading or have been otherwise treated for visual perceptive problems, there is a good chance that the child needs help as well.

The Irene Method is one effective way to treat visual perception disorders. This method uses color to create a more harmonized world. You may have heard of these methods if anyone has ever suggested using a color filter over the page when reading to be able to read better and more quickly. This method is proven to work, and if your autistic child is at the maturity level of reading, you may want to try these color filters to see if there is a difference in speed and comprehension. However, it is more likely that your autistic child will benefit from color filters during the entire day, not just when reading. Special glasses have been made using colored lenses to conquer this problem. Not every child responds the same way to every color, so it is a process of trial and error to find out which color is the one blocking the harmful light. You can also choose to use colored light bulbs in your home to help autistic individuals with their visual perception problems.

This method mainly helps children in 4 areas: depth perception, social interaction, learning, and physical well being. The colors help the child determine how far he or she is from an object, and the world becomes more three-dimensional, helping depth perception. Social interaction also improves because the child feels as though he or she is in a calmer world and can more clearly see and interpret facial expressions. The colors make it possible to learn, especially when reading, and overall, the child will feel better, because it helps reduce headaches and dizziness. By testing this technique and others to help visual perception problems, you can help your child better cope with the world and his or her autism.

*”The reason most people never reach their goals is that they don’t define them, or ever seriously consider them as believable or achievable. Winners can tell you where they are going, what they plan to do along the way, and who will be sharing the adventure with them.”*
Denis Watley

Setting goals is so critical to achieving and maintaining a successful life. Though some goals may, at times, seem unattainable, I believe that any ambition can be achieved with a set plan and drive to attain it. Sure, we all have had unrealistic goals and may even go chasing after them for a short while. I once had the dream of becoming a Broadway star belting out those high notes in Wicked’s “Defying Gravity” and one day becoming, as Mary Catherine Gallagher would say, “a SUPERSTAR!” But, in my heart I knew I never possessed enough talent or drive to make this dream a reality. However, I have set, reached, and surpassed many realistic dreams over my twenty-three years on this planet. As a nerdy student, I wanted to get the best grades possible in school. So, for many years I worked meticulously studying at night, asking for assistance from my teachers and peers when I needed it, and doing my schoolwork to the best of my ability. As a high school freshman, I wanted so badly to become a high school cheerleader, so I practiced for weeks before the first try-out attempting to have flawless Herkes and Russians and to perfect each cheer’s rhythm and hand motions. In college, I wanted to become a teacher so I spend four years at an institution mastering teaching pedagogy and preparing myself for the world of education. For each of these short-term goals, I crafted plans and constructed steps, much like the blueprints of a house, on how I would accomplish each goal. However, no strategy could have ever prepared me for the sweaty, giddy hormone-driven gossip factories that are my middle school students! But, I still love them anyway!

As discussed in my previous post, “Giving Thanks”, some people go their entire lives never finding something that they are truly passionate about. They get up each day with a chip on their shoulder, return to jobs they loath, lead lives they hate, and are never truly happy. They never set goals for themselves for fear of failure or because they are unsure as to what their purpose in life really is. They may have desires and hopes in life but never have enough drive or know how to go about making those dreams a reality. These people attend their nine-to-five jobs, do what is expected of them (never more and never less), and usually never pursue anything of great meaning to them. I could imagine leading a life without passion or purpose would be very unrewarding and unfulfilling. I never want to be a person who gets stuck in the day-to-day grind never reaching for something more. There is so much more to life than a steady paycheck and a mundane life full of fruitless routine.

I truly believe that if you want something bad enough and if you work with all of your heart and soul, never giving up, that you can make any distant dream you have an existing reality.

I am a firm believer in the notion that we create our own destiny. No one is going to make your dreams come true but Y-O-U. Too often people go about their daily lives waiting for the right time to make their dreams come true. They believe when they get that promotion at work, or when the kids are in high school, or when they have enough money that then they can start really living the lives they want to lead. These people go on to realize (as much of their life has already passed them by) that there is no perfect time when all the stars will align for them to begin following their real dreams and passions in life. The time is now. Life is too short to wait for a perfect time that will likely never come. Like Matthew McConaughey says, ‘Just Keep Livin’. If you do, I promise your life will feel so much more fulfilling.

I feel so fortunate to have found my true passions in life at such a young age. For as long as I can remember I have always had three life goals (as well as other smaller goals that I set on a more short-term level) and know that once I have these things and have accomplished my life goals that my life will be complete. One is already beginning to come true while the other three feel as far away as the Milky Way (and no, I am not talking about the chocolately-nougaty goodness wrapped inside the brown and green packaging). Though that would be a nice reward. Reach a goal, get chocolate! Dear God, please make mine peanut butter m&ms!

Life Goal 1- Become a Tenured Language Arts Teacher: Since I was seventeen years old (and maybe even earlier as I played teacher as a child during each summer vacation) I knew I wanted to become an English teacher and share my love of literature and learning with children. With the guidance of my main inspiration, my very own high school English teacher Mrs. Tutt, I embarked on the journey of becoming a teacher. I spent four years reading, researching, and studying teacher practices. I spent numerous hours in clinical placements observing and instructing in different classroom settings. I spent nine weeks in a student teaching placement taking the driver’s seat as a full-time teacher. I prepared my own lessons, taught my own classes, graded millions upon billions of assignments (or so it seems) and assimilated into the teaching world. All of this prepared me for my life as a future educator. I loved every minute of student teaching from teaching content, getting to know my students, and even to those dreaded parent phone calls. I knew within the first few weeks, that this was what I was meant to do in life. I have been blessed to be able to make my dream of becoming an educator a reality the past few years. After graduating from Minnesota State University, Mankato in the fall of 2008, I was immediately offered a teaching job at the high school in which I student taught. It was truly a dream come true. I’ve never been happier then the first day I stepped through Hopkins High School’s doors as a licensed educator. I love being a teacher and inspiring, helping, and being a part of my student’s lives. I look forward to going to work everyday, hearing “Hi, Ms. Topp” in the hallways, and teaching my students. I think all of this is so very important. Since we spend a significant amount of our adult lives working to support our needs and wants in life, I think having a job you love and look forward to going to is so essential. I couldn’t imagine going to a job I detest day-in and day-out. I feel so lucky to have found a career that gives me so much joy and fulfillment.

Though I have now found “My Place In This World”, my journey is just beginning. Being a relatively new and young teacher in this economy has already been very difficult. At the end of the last school year, I was let go from my teaching position due to budget cuts. I was devastated. I searched and searched for a new job that never came. I applied to hundreds of school and interviewed for very few positions. I began this school year as a substitute teacher. Thankfully, about two weeks into my substitute positions I was offered a job (or a series of jobs strung together to equal a full time job) back at Hopkins. It felt so good to be back at the school that I loved so much and never wanted to leave. I felt valued and appreciated as I spoke with other educators who recommended me for the positions being offered. I felt worthy. Through this experience I have expanded my first life goal. I began the 2009-2010 school year working with English Language Learners. Initially, the idea freaked me out! All of these children not only speak different languages but some of them know very little to no English… How would I ever reach or teach them? I wasn’t sure I was cut out to work with ELL students but I gave it a try. Any job is better than no job, right? Especially in my dream district! It was a lot easier than I anticipated and I now have found another passion in life. I want to return to school not only for my Master’s Degree but also to get a second licensure in ESL/ELL. I guess my goals associated with my career have and will continue to grow and change as I am exposed to more of the joys of teaching.  Now, after two years of teaching, my first life goal has become three-fold: a-become a tenured Language Arts teacher, b- obtain my ESL/ELL licensure, and c- go back to school to acquire my Master’s Degree in Education. Eventually, I want to get my Doctorate Degree, too, but that goal hasn’t come to the forefront of my mind just yet.

Life Goals 2/3- Become a Wife and Mother: My second and third life goals go hand-in-hand, quite literally through marriage. When I picture my future I have always seen myself as a mother waiting in the kitchen of my cute little house with the pink picket fence waiting for little Susie and Sammy to get home from school. We’d talk about their day as I make dinner waiting for the love of my life to return home from his day at the office. We’d eat dinner together as a family, end the night watching a movie, and live the fairy tale life. Okay, so maybe my dreams are really not that Stepford Wife-ish but you get the picture. I want to be the supportive, caring wife and loving mother. I want a family. Growing up, I always enjoyed babysitting and caring for the younger children in my neighborhood. I remember summer days scraping together money from my piggy bank or the bin of change in my parent’s closet so I could ride my bike up to the convenience store a few blocks from my home to buy kool-aid, mac and cheese, and candy for my sisters and other kids who happened to be at our house that day. Being the oldest child of three girls, I always felt like a second mother to my sisters growing up. I felt responsible for their happiness and well-being. In many ways, even though they are now grown women, I still do. Maybe that is one of the reasons I became a teacher. I like the thought of someone needing or depending on me- even if it is just for a grade, help with homework, or someone to talk to about the latest GLEE or Gossip Girl episode. I can’t wait to be married and have someone to come home to at the end of the day and start a family with. I look forward to the day when I say, “I do” in a beautiful white gown and commit myself to my husband. I know the feminists of the world may gasp at the thought of needing another person to feel fulfilled but I truly believe that through marriage a person becomes absolute. I know that one person is not able to make you fulfilled 100% of the time but through marriage you make a partnership to love and cherish one person for the rest of your life despite your or their shortcomings. What can be more fulfilling than that? Even if your hubby does leave the toilet seat up, watches sports all Sunday afternoon, and works until late evening most nights? I’d trade in singledom for a sports-watching workaholic any day of the week!

I also can’t wait to start a family. I have loved being an older sister (not only to my sisters but also to their friends). There is nothing better than holding a baby in your arms as they sleep, or when a kid looks up and smiles at you, or being told that a child that admires you loves you. I can imagine that these feelings would be even better if they were your own children. I can’t wait to play Barbies with my daughter or go to my son’s sporting events and cuddle up reading a fairy tale or some superhero book at the end of the night. I have the mom gene (no, I won’t be wearing “Mom Jeans” ick!) and I look forward to holding my own miracle in my arms someday. I’m not sure I have met the man I am going to marry yet (and if I have, I certainly don’t know it’s him), but I know God will lead us to each other when the time is right. In all honesty, I think I’ve always been ready for these two life goals and long for them more than the others. I may not be ready for children this year or the next but I know once I find my future husband that these life goals will all fall into right into place like Cinderella’s glass slipper.

Life Goal 4- Change The World: I just recently realized my fourth, and final, life goal. I want to change the world. I know this seems like a grandiose idea and an utterly impossible notion but I think I can do it. I don’t mean that I am going to be the next Mother Teresa or Mahatma Gandhi, but who knows? All I do know is that I want to leave this world a better place simply by being in it. I don’t think this world, other people, or God owe me (or anyone else for that matter) anything. It is quite the opposite actually. I know some people feel a sense of entitlement or that the world owes them something if they have gone through some sort of hardship or their lives don’t work out the way they had initially planned. But, I don’t feel that way. I’ll be perfectly honest in saying that my life hasn’t always gone according to plan, but then again, whose has? If it were up to me I’d be married with children (no, NOT Al and Peg Bundy Style), a stay at home mom or famous, and would give back to the world as much as I can. I have none of these things- no husband, no child, no celebrity… but, I still have a desire to make this world a better place. After recently facing some major life issues (losing my first job, dealing with being raped by a family member as a child and all the baggage that goes along with it, and giving my heart to a man that later changed his mind) I began to wonder what I could do with all that life had thrown my way. How can I turn my suffering into something beautiful and possibly healing for someone else? What do I have to offer to the world? And how can I make a difference? I know by being a teacher I am crafting minds and changing hearts but I want to do more… I think the way I want to change the world is through some sort of public speech. I don’t know why, but lately I’ve been having dreams about this very thing. I would love to travel the country or world speaking to children and adults, Christians and non-believers, at schools and at churches about this very thing: YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORLD. I want to speak to others about shifting from a victim mentality to that of a survivor. I want to talk about overcoming adversity and hardships. I want to show people that it is perfectly okay to grieve, feel sorry for yourself, to be hurt and be angry when something horrible happens in your life but that there is so much healing in getting help and forgiving people who have wronged you. I guess, I just feel I have a lot to say. I don’t pretend to think my life or hardships are any more severe or drastic than others, I just think I have a story to tell and my hope is that I can help others by sharing it. So, even though I have no idea how to go about making this fourth goal or dream happen a huge part of my heart is pulling me in the direction of speaking out about such things and changing the world one student, person, youth group, school, or arena at a time.

I’m not the only one who can change the world. You can too… The world is your oyster; don’t be a clam! You can do and achieve anything you set out to do in life, if you just believe in yourself. You have the opportunity to make any dream a reality. So, set goals, plan, and shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you’ll land among the stars. We all falter but we all have the ability to get back up and succeed. So, as Ryan Shupe sings, “when you dream, dream big… as big as the ocean blue. ‘Cause when you dream it might come true. When you dream, dream big!”

That time of year is creeping up, too quickly for many I’m sure, lol.

I started thinking of the things we used to do as kids, leading up to and for Christmas.  Some, we didn’t even realize till our later years that they were ‘traditions’.  Our traditions.

Do you remember some of your traditions?  What are they?

Have you continued them with your family?

Have you created new ones?

Have you lost your traditions?  If so, why do you think that is?

Some traditions bring back many great memories for people.  What are some of your favourite memories?  I’d love to hear about them!

Leave a comment and share them!

I found that a lot of my classes lately have been talking about consumerism. We have watched videos on Disney, and how conglomerations such as this affect children. The conclusion that I have come to is that the society in which we live in is addicted to consuming, which produces more consuming, which produces more and more. We are never satisfied, but always strive to have more, and fill the void in our lives by consuming whatever we can. The term “shop until you drop” has never been more real, or more widespread. Marketing catches our eye, convinces us that our lives will be better when we purchase what they say we “need.”

This literally scares me. I have been thinking on this a lot lately, and recently I even had a dream that was all about consumerism. In my dream I was working at a camp. This camp was not your typical, out-in-the-wilderness type of camp, but it looked more like a mall featuring a lot of cement and glass. My job was to teach drama, but the kids refused to try. They had these lives where their imaginations went out the window, video games and toys showing them how to play, and parents who bought them everything. The drama program kept buying more things to make the program better. We had top-of-the-line lights, amazing sets and costumes, a gorgeous stage, cameras, etc. The more the kids struggled, the more stuff the adults would buy for the program, trying to make it better with their money. As the teacher, I kept trying to stress that if they put effort into acting, they would succeed. When I tried to teach them plays, or to do improv, they literally stood around playing their video games, on their cell phones, and fixing their hair and make-up.  They would not do anything for themselves, but wanted to be given more, hoping that this would produce good actors.  When I woke up I was still concerned for our world. We NEED creativity. Imaginations are irreplaceable. They can not be purchased at any store or created electronically, no matter how much money people put into it. We need to stress that being imaginative is of the greatest importance. In our classroom, we must let the creativity flow. No amount of consuming can replace what our children are capable of.

It starts out innocent enough, even quite promising if I’m going to go out on a limb. Mad Dog was home early and it made it possible for us to go out to dinner as a family. On the weekends you have to make sure to go early for optimal success with Frick and Frack.

We thought we would try the new Caribbean restaurant in our neighborhood. Obviously we were aware that a new, ethnic cuisine could get dicey with the boys. We figured if the restaurant planned to stay afloat in these difficult economic times (and tucked away in a neighborhood) it would HAVE to have a children’s menu. No such luck so, we improvise (that’s like 98% of parenthood anyway).

Mad Dog and I determine the safest bet for Frick and Frack are a tortilla-type appetizer filled with rice and beans. The owner also gives them a sample of some fresh-from-the-oven flatbread. When they arrive at our table, they don’t look especially appetizing but are actually quite tasty. Yeah, try convincing a five year old or a two year old of that. I do my best, upbeat coaching speech. “Why these are yummy, yummy ‘crackers’. Try them, they are very grown-up (that usually at least peaks big brother Frack’s interest) and super-good!”

They’re smart little suckers and don’t buy it. We coax and cajole them so at least they get a few bites in their stomachs. They actually were good sports but we knew they weren’t eating enough.

Mad Dog and my entrees arrive. They were good, full of delicious spices and textures and wholly unappealing to the young men at our table. Mad Dog did convince big brother Frack to try some of his jerk chicken. Frack took a tentative bite. He must have felt confident it wasn’t too spicy because he bravely asked for another bite. Before he finishes chewing, he leaps from the table and urgently announces, “I have to POOP!” Mad Dog grabs Frack’s Gatorade (to help with Frack’s burning mouth) and rushes him to the bathroom. The whole while poor Frack’s body is rigid with fright and his cheeks are a burning red.

In the bathroom, Mad Dog later reported, Frack hops on the potty while Mad Dog gives him liquids (Mad Dog likened it to being a trainer for a boxer in the ring). Frack realizes he doesn’t have to go. We figured his body went into a sort of shock from the spices and he didn’t know what was happening; he deduced it must need to poop.

When we knew he was fully recovered we laughed and laughed. Frack informed us that this place was ‘okay for snacks but let’s never have dinner here, again.’

We took Frick and Frack to Sonic afterwards. It would have been so much easier if we had gone there in the first place, but where’s the adventure in that?