THE FULL MONTY av Peter Cattaneo (1997)
Med Robert Carlyle, Mark Addy, Tom Wilkinson, William Snape, Steve Huison, Paul Barber, Hugo Speer, Lesley Sharp, Emily Wolf, Paul Butterworth, Dave Hill, Deirdre Costello, Bruce Jones, Andrew Livingston, Vinny Dhillon

VISS SPOILERVARNING

Sheffield i slutet av 1900-talet, när stålindustrin som en gång i tiden gjorde staden så välmående har gått under. Arbetslöshet, typiskt engelska arbetarklassområden utan dubbelt fönsterglas, desperat jobbsökande män* som slår ihjäl tiden på arbetsförmedlingen där inga jobb finns att få och fortsätter på puben där många öl finns att få för det magra arbetslöshetsunderstödet.

Vid första påseende verkar det här kanske inte vara en särskilt lyckad grundförutsättning för en komedi, men eftersom det är en komedi med insikt och inte bara sinnesslö slapstick fungerar det ändå bra, i hög grad tack vare den vesslelikt rastlöse Robert Carlyle i huvudrollen.

“The full monty” är engelsk slang för strip-tease hela vägen. Vartenda plagg ska av. Och det blir till slut sex arbetslösa mäns i alla fall tillfälliga lösning på problemen i arbetslöshetens vardag, eftersom den professionella, manliga stripteasegruppen Chippendales tittat förbi Sheffield och dragit en entusiastisk jättepublik. De sex männen blir inspirerade och tänker göra om samma sak på traktens pub. Men till skillnad från Chippendales gå hela vägen – “the full monty”.

Det här fungerar som sagt bra, men når inte ända fram. Intrigen är lite för tunn för att räcka till en hel film och därför uppstår en rad problem på vägen mot den enda kvällens stora uppträdande, problem som staplas på varandra och skulle ha kunnat vara betydligt färre (kortare film) eller betydligt fler (längre film). Och det är problemet med vad man skulle kunna kalla stapelintriger – intriger där en rad intrigelement utan egentligt inbördes samband staplas på varandra.

Så det känns kanske förbluffande att The Full Monty ändå är sevärd. Dels tack vare inte endast Robert Carlyle utan även flera av de andra skådespelarna men också, och inte minst, tack vare den stämning som vilar över hela filmen och som är ganska oemotståndlig om man råkar tycka om England, även med dess baksidor. Själv hyser jag en obotlig förtjusning i typiskt engelska industristäder, i arkitekturen och de dragiga lägenheterna och den ödsliga dysterheten och enformigheten och varje dags samling för några öl på puben, nästan helt oavsett vad – så The Full Monty blir ett ställföreträdande besök i England, fylld av till största delen lyckade episoder som inte må ha ett starkt inbördes samband men som alla kretsar kring vad som är en vansinnig plan, att inför grannar och vänner och inte minst fruar strippa hela vägen och det i ett samhälle där alla pratar om alla och därför bli skvallrad om i åratal efteråt. Den osäkerhet inför uppgiften de sex männen huvudsakligen rätt skickligt men i några scener stereotypt blottar under filmens gång känns för det mesta, men inte alltid, övertygande. Så till exempel görs för mycket av Mark Addys tjat om sin fetma, i synnerhet som karlen inte är påfallande överviktig utan bara lite rund om magen.

I filmens anslag ligger något mycket typiskt engelskt, för om man föreställer sig – säg – en fransk film på samma tema som The Full Monty skulle den bli mycket annorlunda, med en i stora stycken helt annan intrig och en delvis mycket annorlunda inställning hos huvudgestalterna. The Full Monty tillhör de filmer som ger en inträngande ögonblicksbild av livsvillkoren och de förhärskande värderingarna i ett land och en kultur under en given tidpunkt.

Ett talande exempel är något som till en början känns som påklistrad och politiskt korrekt utfyllnad. Två av killarna är, visar det sig, bögar som inte kommit ut och som blir kära i varandra. Av detta görs ingenting förutom att tittaren får a) veta faktum och b) att de håller varandra i hand på en begravning. Den här omständigheten saknar all betydelse för rollgestalternas utveckling i filmen och kan därför kännas som påklistrad utfyllnad, men i själva verket säger den något ganska omtumlande om förhärskande värderingar i arbetarklassens Sheffield mot slutet av förra århundradet. För poängen med episoden är hur den uppfattas av omgivningen, i det här fallet Robert Carlyle och Mark Addy. Och hur de, med sin ingrodda, djupt fördomsfulla inställning till bögar, reagerar när de upptäcker vad som hänt – på ett sätt som känns oväntat men samtidigt övertygande. Och som dessutom är roligt.

I denna och många andra betraktelser av vardagen i en engelsk industristad ligger mycket av värdet i denna, som jag tycker, trivsamma komedi. Och där, någonstans, överser man med att intrigen är en stapelintrig, för vid närmare eftertanke spelar det ingen större roll. Inte i det här fallet.

Kör hårt,
Bellis

* Här en intressant omständighet. Inga kvinnor. För filmens kvinnor är antingen hemmafruar eller har jobb i positioner som gör det möjligt för dem att erbjuda sina män anställning (något männen vägrar acceptera).

Oops! A Canadian woman suffering from major depression just lost her health benefits because she was seen partying at Chippendales on Facebook.  When the insurance company saw the pics, they up and stopped paying. No warning. So when our depressed hero called the insurance peeps, they were all, “Bitch, we know you can work. Yo’ ass ain’t sad, don’t even front.”

Why can’t people learn to make their profiles private!? Sheesh! I started teaching my first class at Yale this year to undergraduates, and the first thing I did was make my shit invisible. Not that I, like, regularly post incriminating pics from strip clubs to my Facebook or anything. But Suzy Q don’t need to know what I’m doing and who I’m doing it with. Once I skipped class to go to the Zero + Maria Cornejo show during New York Fashion Week. Told the prof I was in the hospital or something. Meanwhile at the show, I took tons of photos with my iPhone but realized it would not be the smartest idea to post them!

Facebook is such a tricky thing, because it’s both a networking tool (I got my first freelance writing gig through Facebook) and a space of self-fashioning and self-creation. Sometimes I flirt with making my profile totally unsearchable, but then I’m like, well what if somebody wants to reach me!??!

LIMITED PROFILE, FOLKS!!!!! DON’T LET A DRUNK PHOTO GET U FIRED!!!

As we promised yesterday, we’re going to present you a special video list today in order to get you into the right “New Moon mood”. A few days ago I was completely obsessed with watching the newest premiere vids and interviews. After seeing all the red carpet stuff and picking all my favorite tv specials, I couldn’t wait for the movie to finally hit theaters. So to give you a good start for another workweek and to keep the crazy New Moon mood up a bit longer, here come the top five New Moon videos to enjoy on an otherwise boring monday (Only half a top ten list this time, cause watching 10 vids would take like what? Two thirds of your workday? Perhaps the whole, because you’d probably watch them all over and over again. Believe me, yes they’re that good!). Without further adieu, enjoy!

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1. This one is perfect to refresh your memory of what the whole story is about. Watch as Peter Facinelli and his lovely wife Jenny Garth act out New Moon with the Edward, Jacob and Bella action figures.

After they summed it all up for us again and now that we’re really down with the plot again, it’s time for the next video!

2. The Twilight Trinity aka Rob, Kristin and Taylor at the Jimmy Kimmel show. Hear them talk about the vampire chippendales and Rob’s ass injury and see as Taylor Lautner gets way embarrassed when they show one of his childhood martial arts vids.

Have you noticed Kristen Stewarts red soles? Louboutins again. Damn, this girl’s got an awesome high-heel collection! But let’s not linger on that before I grow too depressed… Off to the next video!

3. Chris Weitz, new DILF in town on the LA New Moon premiere. In case you don’t remember the orange pants he wore in London, click here to enjoy them (again) before watching the video! Honestly, you need this to get all the funny stuff!

Isn’t he cute? And he shudders to think of himself as a DILF. I already love him right now. Chris Weitz, would you marry me? Or wait, you are already married… So what if I name my children after him to honor his greatness? Chris Edward Jacob Soul, awesome! Okay, over to the next!

4. The Jay Leno New Moon parody called “Newer Moon” combined with amazing red carpet journalism. This includes the vampires attorney, some shirtless scenes and an invitation to the wolfpack-party. Don’t miss it!

Anyone else who wants to come to the wolfpack-party with me? Cause obviously these guys need some hot chicks over there to show them some love…ifyouknowwhatimsayin… Sorry, got carried away. Off to the next!

5. Carrie Keagan does it again, New Moon uncensored, my absolute favorite. They did it with Twilight last year and that was definitely my favorite interview ever since I discovered it. Attention, don’t watch this in front of your mother, grandma or children! Lots of expletives but also more laughs than in any other vid you will find. Carrie Keagan discusses the WILFs and VILFs (new technical term!), upper body nudity, the Taylor Lautner nude scene and the DVD extras (SPOILER: shirtless and jortless wolfpack). Enjoy!

The wolfpack when they get the meaning of WILF, Rob accidently revealing that there’s a nude scene, Kristen talking about objectifying the guys, Elizabeth Reaser aka Esme eager to see them with their jorts off, Chris Weitz totally getting the WILF stuff and laughing his ass off… priceless!

So now after we got you into the right New Moon mood, go and see the fucking movie! Cause it’s pretty fucking awesome! Honestly, trust KStew and the crew!

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Off to watch all the vids over again (like I haven’t seen them about 87 times to prepare this post…)

Saveyoursoul

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What are your favorite New Moon videos and interviews? Did you laugh as hard as I did when I saw all these for the first time? Any great hilarious stuff we missed? I know there is, cause we couldn’t cover it all… Send us your favorites and maybe we’ll use them in our next post! Just leave a comment or e-mail us!

(videos: YouTube; image: Letterstotwilight)

Via AP

BROMONT, Quebec – A Canadian woman on long-term sick leave for depression says she lost her benefits because her insurance agentfound photos of her on Facebook in which she appeared to be having fun.

Nathalie Blanchard has been on leave from her job at IBM in Bromont, Quebec, for the last year.

The Canadian Broadcasting Corp. reported Saturday she was diagnosed with major depression and was receiving monthly sick-leave benefits from insurance giant Manulife.

But the payments dried up this fall and when Blanchard called Manulife, she says she was told she was available to work because of Facebook.

She said her insurance agent described several pictures Blanchard posted on Facebook, including ones showing her having a good time at a Chippendales bar show, at her birthday party and on a sun holiday.

Blanchard said Manulife told her it’s evidence she is no longer depressed. She’s fighting to get her benefits reinstated and says her lawyer is exploring what the next step should be.

Blanchard told the CBC that on her doctor’s advice, she tried to have fun, including nights out at her local bar with friends and short getaways to sun destinations, as a way to forget her problems.

Manulife wouldn’t comment on Blanchard’s case, but did say they would not deny or terminate a claim solely based on information published on Web sites such as Facebook.

Canadian, who was on sick leave, shown having fun at Chippendales, on trip 

BROMONT, Quebec – Photos on Facebook have cost a Canadian woman her long-term sick leave benefits.

Nathalie Blanchard has been on leave from her job at IBM in Bromont, Quebec, for the last year.

The Canadian Broadcasting Corp. reported she was diagnosed with major depression and was receiving monthly sick-leave benefits.

But when a Manulife insurance agent discovered pictures of Blanchard having a good time, the payments dried up.

Nathalie Blanchard est une Québécoise de 29 ans qui est en congé de longue maladie pour dépression depuis plus d’un an.

Il y a peu, Nathalie a partagé des photos sur Facebook qui la montre en train de s’amuser dans un club avec des Chippendales, lors de ses vacances.

Résultat, Manulife, qui est sa compagnie d’assurance, lui supprime ses droits d’assurance maladie en estiment celle-ci d’être en “mesure de travailler à cause de Facebook“.

La compagnie d’assurance a reconnu qu’elle utilisait les informations trouvées sur Facebook pour s’informer sur leurs clients.

Oups!

Ah – who says good things can last forever! It is with great sadness that I must announce the departure of Alcopop Records and Stagecoach, due to a significant change of direction. You see, in love as we are with these charming Americana indie gents from the rolling hills of surrey, we just couldn’t commit to releasing their new single – which their drummer, Matt, dropped on our doorstep today (video can be seen by clicking here, still below), before flexing a sinewy bicep and thrusting himself powerfully away.

We loved a bit of dub-step, acoustic was awesome with us, and pop is of course much loved in the Alco quarters… But the ‘sexy fun’ direction they had taken just didn’t quite lay entirely in tune with our current roster.

In better news however, The Coach have signed up with former early 90’s dance star, and one-time muso Ray Slijngaard, formerly of 2 Unlimited, and failed record label owner Kevin Campbell, and are working on a disco/ R&B album of anthems. A change in direction perhaps, but expect it to be topping the charts pretty soon….

ps: Hehe Back in real life, look for a new release from Stagecoach a-coming (albeit with less biceps and more guitars) muy, muy soon… You’re seriously going to love it!

De ‘tot de verbeelding sprekende’ chippendales zijn weer in ons land! De show van schaarsgeklede mannen met geweldige torso’s is te zien in Antwerpen, Hasselt en Gent. Pubers en bomma’s zullen zij aan zij staan gillen voor mannelijk bloot. Maar waar komt de naam ‘chippendales’ vandaan?

We gaan ver terug naar het Londen van de 18^e eeuw. Daar werkte meubelmaker Thomas Chippendale, tevens grondlegger van de Engelse meubelrococostijl. Deze  meubelmaker inspireerde twee eeuwen later de eigenaar van een nachtcub in Los Angeles. ‘The Chippendale’ was de eerste plek waar mannelijke  strippers te zien waren in een broadway-achtige  show. De strippers zelf kregen uiteindelijk de naam: ‘the chippendales’. Wegens groot succes werd de show uitgebreid naar andere clubs, en uiteindelijk zelfs andere landen.

bron: www.wikipedia.be

It seems Tony Scott has lined up his next movie, a biopic of Steve Banerjee, the creator of the legendary 1980s male stripping troupe the Chippendales.

The film will focus on Banerjee’s rise to and fall from fame. He started out running filling station, moved up to mudwrestling clubs and finally cottoned on to the idea of creating an all-male choreographed touring stripshow. Behind all this he faced a string of lawsuits and even hired a hitman to take out original choreographer Nick DeNoia. Arrested and facing trail he was denied bail, after evidence emerged that he planned to escape to India on a private plane. He ended up hanging himself in his cell, hours before his sentencing.

The tale of sex, violence and borderline insanity certainly seems up Scott’s alley. The studio are touting this as having “a tone similar to True Romance“. That could be very good indeed. The script from Lisa Schrager has no title as of yet and no shooting or release details have been mentioned.

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Jessica Biel has found her post A-Team project. The star has signed on the raunchy romantic-comedy Fucking Engaged. Pretty sure that title will be changed.

The apparent plot revolves around Biel and her yet-to-be-announced fiancé who make a pact, in the run-up to their wedding, that they will not turn into their boring parents and vow to have sex every day until the big day.

The movie is an original screenplay by playwright Julia Brownell and is being developed along with Garden State producer Dan Halstead. FilmNation Entertainment, who are responsible for financing The Road, will be stumping up the cash.

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Zach Galifianakis to play crazy man shocker! The Hangover actor has signed on to star comedy drama Town House, alongside Doubt star Amy Adams.

Galifianakis, will play an agoraphobic man who lives, with his teenage son, in a large house bought and paid for by his late rock star dad. When the royalty money runs out, he is forced to reassess his life and attitude, with the help of a friendly prostitute, played by Adams.

Scott Free, Ridley and Tony Scott’s production company, is set to produce with Fox 2000 locked in to distribute. Once writer John Carney wrote the original screenplay, but the project was put on hiatus during the writer strike. No news on a new writer or director but shooting is currently set for next summer, so expect to here news soon.

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Mad Men stand-out January Jones is set to star with Nicholas Cage in his new vigilante thriller Hungry Rabbit Jumps.

The film, set in New Orleans, sees Jones in the role of Cage’s wife. Hi is victim to a brutal crime that pushes Cage to team up with a vigilante organisation. Needless to say things start getting a little hairier from there on out.

Even Money writer Robert Tannen is on hand with the script, while Bank Job director Roger Donaldson will occupy the chair. Spiderman star Tobey Maguire’s production company, Maguire Entertainment, are calling the shots and shooting is set to begin immediately.

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Adam Sandler has absolutely no ambition. The occasionally funny man has signed up “star” in new comedy Jack and Jill.

Sandler will play both Jack and his twin sister Jill. That’s all I need to know not to care anymore. Next please!

Shooting starts early next year for a 2011 release.

this has to be the funniest thing since will farrell. check out the picture HERE

EDIT : nikesh has just said “that is one of the BEST things ive seen in life” HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

Pouca gente conhece o moço Billy Jeffrey aqui nas terras tupiniquis. É de fato não tem porque conhecê-lo, a não ser pelo seu corpo escultural que leva as mulheres à loucura. Não, ele não é um garoto de programa, ele é um performer do famoso grupo Chippendales, dos EUA.

Sua maior aparição foi no reality show True Beauty. O seriado levou todos a loucoura pois revelou o performer como um boa pessoa e que cuida muito do corpo. Dá para notar né. A barriga dele é tricada e muito dura e rendeu comentários dos próprios fotógrafos da série.

No vídeo abaixo dá para notar que o carinha não parece ser dos mais espertos e inteligentes. Nem ele e nem o amigo, mas fazer o que né?

Started by Pre Sense Form, with pix he took of Brendan in last year’s Halloween get-up. Finished by Zaguar. And now posted up all over town! Show is Friday, Oct 30th at the Taproom.

So today is it. My last day to attempt to complete the 1,000 cranes before the BIG day tomorrow. As for the hourglass, it has been bottom-heavy for quite some time! On the eve of this birthday, I was inspired to attempt new things AFTER it happens and after the cranes are folded. I have a future plan. But I got to thinking, I have been on earth A WHILE and what have I done with the time thus far????

Honestly you can take the first ten years off your life as you were a child and just learning how to be a human being and not much was expected of you. OK in the case of this birthday that leaves me with 30 years to account for. I have been making one of my famous “lists” in my head of what exactly I have been doing. I’m just curious if in MY opinion did I waste 30 years or did I use it wisely. We’re only given so many years and we don’t know what the magic number is. Having lost 2 family members long before they should have gone I know that all too well. Have I actually lived my life or was I a slacker? I always feel a sense of obligation, if you will put on me by MYSELF no one else, to make something of my life because 1. That’s how you’ll be happy and willing to get up each day. 2. There are people who had big plans and were going places and they never got the chance to live their life 3. There are NO DO-OVERS.

That could explain some of the urgency I feel for multi-tasking. 1. I am VERY good at multi-tasking and 2. It means I get to experience more of my life. In all honesty there were several years when I didn’t really give a flying firetruck about plans, lists, goals, etc. until you wake up and a member of your family that HAD goals is gone and never even reach birthday number 30 nevermind 40. It’s a huge kick in the pants to do something with what you have. Try and achieve something, be happy, and just live for Pete’s sake.

Once I got going I think I did as well as I could with the support and the skills at my disposal! I mean I actually traveled to Europe alone at 18, Same thing to Florida at 21. When you don’t have people who wish to go -I went anyway. I earned it and didn’t want to die waiting for someone else to join me on a trip! It’s not a HUGE amount of fun alone but I saw and did some cool stuff and when I was in Florida, the Chippendales were in town, in my hotel, on my floor, and we’re not talking chipmunks or chairs. So that was a fun trip and I thank them for keeping this poor girl from getting lonely! I was also one of the youngest people to hold an elected position in town when I was  Library Trustee for 7 years. I also owned a restaurant and bar and yes the Library lady has a bartending license. I worked for a professional hockey team for a season slinging free T-shirts and dancing the YMCA (that was just last year) I have held 5 jobs at a time one of which was being a Christmas Elf. I have been on 3 cruises  90% of RJ’s field trips. I worked every position in our town library a place I LOVE including the Director position.

I am now finally someone’s wife and a full-time writer. 2 goals I had wanted to accomplish before the LAST milestone birthday but that’s ok he wasn’t ready for me and I still had somethings to do before I went from a 1 to a 2!

So, I think I’ve done OK and the best part is I ain’t done yet!!!! Lucky me

I now have to go and fold my last cranes and wait for my wish to come true. When I blog next I will be older, possibly wiser, and ready for the next 40!!

Crane Count for Day 86 – 2nd to last crane folding day XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX – (drumroll) 19!

Oh and thanks for the hits everyone, yesterday there was an outrageous number of views and we’re a little over 100 hits away from 2,000. Now I don’t know If I can make that happen in a day but I REALLY appreciate you all trying and viewing yesterday and pushing me towards my goal!!!!

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Both outfits worn on August 25th.
The first one being what I wore to work. This infact one of my favourite outfits to wear to work because I love this skirt so much! It was my first purchase from American Apparel and it’s just so pratical! Definatly a piece of clothing I’ll be holding onto throughout the winter months and possibly even purchasing in some other colours.
♥ Skirt – “American Apparel.
♥ Cardigan – Primark.
♥ Vests – Dorothy Perkins.
♥ Shoes – “Barrats (changed to Clarks shoe-boots at work).
♥ Sawrovski neckalce, watch and O+F specs.

The second outfit I wore out that night after work, to go see the Chippendales with Chloe, Katy and Lesley (whom I work with). We met for drinks at Amicus Apple (which is a lovely pub – highly recommend!) and then headed up to The Gilded Balloon for a night of attempted gang rape, old ladies get a little too excited and a lot of “Get your kit off!!” from Chloe – plus a rather what-should-be-simple lift home turning out to be a little more stressful.
♥ Dress – H&M.
♥ Leggings – “American Apparel.
♥ Pumps – “Barratts.

Outfit number three is from August 27th. I spent the day with my lovely boyfriend parading the city center from bits and pieces for our new flat(!!). We jumped between John Lewis and Jenners trying to find some good Kitchen Utensils and eventually suceeded with John Lewis. On our way down the road we stopped at Valvona and Crolla on Elm Row. Despite loving what they supply for Jenners and working opposite their Cafe on Mulltrees Walk, and walking past everyday on my way to work, it was the first time I’d ventured in. And boy was I impressed! You feel so tiny surrounded by mountains of luxuary wines, breads, pastas, and not to mention the gigantic delicatessen counter! We walked away with a lovely selection of bread and cakes. It really was a day for food as we also found ourselves with a lovely selection of fish from Something Fishy on Broughton Street.
♥ Shirt – Topshop.
♥ T-shirt – Dorothy Perkins.
♥ Shorts – H&M.
♥ Shoes – Barratts.

P.S. Still without a computer at the moment but I’m off work for two weeks so will be able to access my parents more often. Stay tuned!

Patrick Swayze was a big part of my childhood. I can’t tell you how many times I watched Dirty Dancing between 1993 and 1997. I’d guess it to be pretty close to a thousand. My sister and I would put on the flowey dresses in the dress up box and spin in circles pretending to be Baby. After all, Jennifer Grey was my role model in the fifth grade.

Dirty Dancing still played a pretty significant role in high school and college. I mean, I wasn’t (usually) watching it on repeat or pretending to be Frances “Baby” Houseman anymore, but it was still considered a favorite. And I will admit to the one time I went to Orange City, Iowa with Amanda and we watched it in English, Spanish and French all in a row. We mostly just wanted to learn how to say “I carried a watermelon” in a variety of languages.

It’s not just about Dirty Dancing either. I loved, I mean LOVED, him in To Wong Foo Thanks For Everything Julie Newmar. I really wish I was kidding. It’s just so hilarious and heart-warming at the same time. And let me tell you about watching two hours of Patrick Swayze in drag. I got the dvd for my birthday a few years back. You can borrow it sometime if you ask nicely.

And let’s not forget the noteworthy performances in Ghost, Roadhouse, and the Chippendale’s sketch from SNL. Patrick will definitely be missed. But that’s not what I want to talk about today. What I really want to tell you all about is a story about one of his very small unnamed roles that most of you won’t even remember. I want to talk about Dirty Dancing II: Havana Nights.

Let me take you back to Friday, February 27, 2004. It was my sophomore year in college and my friend Jenn and I were SO excited for the premiere! We had high, high, HIGH hopes that this would be THE BEST MOVIE EVER. I had class late on Friday and wouldn’t be finished till around 4:00. Jenn, however, had a better schedule and her weekend would begin around noon. The night before we hatched a plan, we wanted to make sure we got tickets before it sold out and wanted to be sure we got good seats. Jenn would go to the theater right after class and buy tickets for the show. She’d go back to the sorority house for a few hours, pick me up at 4 from class, we’d grab a very early dinner and head to the theater around 5 or 5:30 to get in line for the 7:15 show. We NEEDED TO GET GOOD SEATS!

We pulled up to the theater around 5:30 and I kid you not, the line was already wrapped around the building.  She and I looked at each other in horror. Our discussion went a little something like this: What if we we’re in the very front row? What if we can’t sit together? I knew I should have skipped class! We should have gotten here at 3:00! What a nightmare!

We waited, and waited, and waited in line and they finally opened up the theater. The line starts moving and as we approach the theater doors, we notice that this line isn’t for Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights, but for The Passion of the Christ, which opened up two days earlier on Ash Wednesday. We quickly got out of line and walked two theaters over to where our movie was playing. And y’all? We were 2 of the 4 people in the  theater. Good thing we got there so early.

She had never been so glad to see the sight of clean underwear…well, except for that one time – but she had banished that memory long ago.

These were not her favorite pair – they tended to ride up a little and it wasn’t always an opportune moment to yank them out of her crotch, – but clean was good, VERY good.

At least underwear wedgies weren’t as public as the dress wedgies she’d had for three days now while the laundry pile leered at her, grumpy with neglect, gloating as her butt cheeks swallowed folds of fabric for all the world to see.

And, speaking of yanking and crotches – what was up with those shorts riding DOWN?

Maybe it was related to all that jumping around she’d been doing, celebrating her new blog.

Or maybe, just maybe (fingers crossed), she was actually shrinking from her early morning workouts!

Or, even MORE likely, she was finally shedding all that water weight that gathered upon her like a wet snow on trees around the time of her period, dragging and sagging.

In any case, here she was finally wearing clean underwear and giving a peek to the neighbors, as she bends over in the grass, looking for the key she dropped while walking the dog.

Distracted by feeling self-congratulatory that her stretching routine meant she could now actually see her own underwear when bending over, she almost dragged her hand through the deposit her dog had left earlier (and that she should have cleaned up, yes, yes – it served her right to be the one nearly paying the consequences).

A sharp pang of guilt over leaving the dog doo took her breath away, triggering her other major guilt complex – sex – and she began to wonder just how much her neighbors could see, and what they might be thinking of her.

Or come to think of it, not just how much they could see, but how much they could hear; since the weather had finally cooled down, she’d been leaving the windows open at night.

Oh no…she had enjoyed her vibrator so much last night…the windows…she hadn’t even thought…suddenly the guilt chorus was joined by a brass band, a line of dancing girls, and a complimentary set of Chippendales.

Source: http://www.hulu.com and http://www.youtube.com

I was just reminiscing about Chris Farley the other day, and I found these videos on hulu and YouTube. and I can remember each one of these videos as if I had watched them yesterday. The man was a legend.

Note: I was unable to find the unaltered “Chippendales” sketch. Click into this post to view the rest…

Patrick Swayze lost his battle with cancer yesterday at the too young to die age of 57.  Rest in peace.

Here are some of the best of Swayze in no particular order:

Taking out the trash in Roadhouse

Chippendale’s with the late Chris Farley

Nobody put’s baby in a corner – Dirty Dancing

Ghost

I do have a soft spot in my heart for Dirty Dancing and Road House, but I’ll always remember Patrick Swayze as Darrel Curtis in The Outsiders… and as the Chippendales guy.

Patrick Swayze died today at the age of 57 from pancreatic cancer.

The Dirt Dancing star was diagnosed and told the cancer had spread to his liver in March 2008.  He continued to work throughout the fight to save his life and refused to take pain killers as he believed they would take the edge off his performance in ’The Beast’, the cable tv drama series he was working on.

Swayze, a 3 time Golden Globe nominee also had a one hit wonder with ”She’s like the wind” (written about his wife) for the soundtrack for the film Dirty Dancing.  He starred in Ghost and many a romantic flick.  Swayze also had a sense of humour, occasionally appearing on Saturday Night Live.

RIP

Swayze and Chris Farley as Chippendales dancers on SNL.

Patrick Swayze far outlived the prognosis he was given when he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in January, 2008, but despite his best efforts, it wasn’t enough to outrun 2009 — the year during which literally every single person who was a celebrity in the 1980s died.

People will cite Swayze’s work in “Ghost” and “Dirty Dancing,” but we’ll always think of him first for this: