“I just want you to be happy
That’s my only little wish”

Just The Right Bullets, Tom Waits
 
 

“You ain’t got no money?
He’ll get you some
You ain’t got no car?
He’ll get you one
You ain’t have no self-respect,
you feel like an insect
Well don’t you worry buddy,
‘cause here he comes”

Red Right Hand, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

 
 
 
Hi, it’s me, Javi! Since I started writing this blog –excuse me, Mr. Paws, since you and I started writing this blog, I’ve received tons of e-mails, from “What is this stupid piece of shit? It looks like it has been written by a chimpanzee! Oh, it has? Then it’s terrific!” to “This is the most marvelous piece of literature I’ve ever read! You should apply for the Nobel Prize!”. Well, I once was, but I didn’t win it. It’s all politics, you know.
I’ve also received a mail offering me discounts for buying Viagra, but it had little or nothing to do with the blog (I hope).
 
Anyway, everybody told me that the songs weren’t playing. It is true. I was using a server which does not work if you aren’t logged in from MY computer or whatsoever. Anyway, from now on CLICK on every blue word you see. It will take you to a new world of color, imagination, music and apes! C’mon, click on the songs at the beginning of the post if you haven’t done it yet!
Oh, and the web from which I extracted the lyrics from the Tom Waits’ songs has been closed. That’s a shame, because the lyrics had annotations explaining each reference and everything. But, on the good side, Tom Waits’ official website has been remade, and now it has audio and video player, quotes, and LYRICS TO EVERY SONG, so, thumbs up!
 
And now, let me tell you the story of how I came to use WordPress instead of Blogspot, the most common choice when it comes to blog writing. It is a story which I named:
 
 

 
 
Once upon a time, there was a young, handsome, intelligent, witty and extremely charismatic boy. This marvelous example of human being (let’s call him, I don’t know, Javi, for example) was a Translation student, and one day, as he went home, he found a massive block of stone in front of his home which read:
 
 

“THOU SHALL WRITE A BLOG”

 
 
Astounded by the size of the stone and by the fact that one could accomplish such an example of good calligraphy when writing on granite, he decided that it was time to become a man and start doing whatever the giant stones that he may find told him to do. He rushed to his bedroom, screaming “GET OUT OF MY FREAKIN’ WAY, THE GIANT STONE TOLD ME TO WRITE A BLOG!!” to whomever dared to step on his way and turned on his computer.
 
“Oh, I’m so excited!” said Javi “I’m going to have a blog! Now everybody will be able to read the brilliant ideas that cross my mind every second!”
 
 
**Meanwhile, inside Javi’s brain…**
 
“Hey, John, where’s Wilbur?” asked a lonely neuron, “John? John? Wilbur? Graham? Eric? …Anybody?”
 
 
 
**Back to Javi’s bedroom**
 
“But, where to host my blog? Blogspot or WordPress? WordPress or Blogspot? Blogspot? WordPress? BLOGSPOT?! WORDPRESS?!” wondered Javi annoyingly.
“STOP THAT SCREAMING!” howled a growly voice.
“…God? Is that you?” asked Javi, knowing that God may had a personal bone to pick against him.
“Guess again” said the voice, and, from a cloud of black smoke, appeared Tom Waits.
 
 

“Guess again”

 
 
“Tom Waits?!” cried happily Javi “this is the best day of my life! I’m your biggest fan!”
“I don’t think so, kid, you’re just about 1’77. Anyway, I’m here to help you.”
“Help me? Tom Waits is going to help me? This is the best day of my life! I’m your big–“
“Shut it! You said that before!” said Waits, angrily “I’ve come to tell you to choose WordPress. It’s cleaner, it’s more professional, it begins with a W, like Waits, what more can you ask for?”
“You’re right,” said Javi “count me in”
“Not so fast, kid” said a somber voice
“…God? Is that you this time, right?” asked Javi
“Well, you could certainly say that ‘God Is In The House’”, said the voice, and, in a flash of light, Nick Cave appeared.
 
 

“Well, you could certainly say that ‘God Is In The House’”

 
 
“Nick Cave?!” cried happily Javi “this is the best day of my life! I’m your biggest fan!”
“I don’t think so, kid,” said Cave “you’re just about 1’77. Anyway, I’m here to help you”
“I think I’m having a déjà vu…” said Javi
“Yes, me too” growled Waits
“Shut up, Waits! I will win this time! You’ll never drag this kid into WordPress!” screamed Cave with a profound, dark voice “Javi, I want you to choose Blogspot. You can add tons of widgets, and it begins with a B, like Nick Bave, what more can you ask for?”
“I thought your last name was ‘Cave’, not ‘Bave’, Nicky” teased Waits
“…Touché. Anyway, Javi, what do you say? If you choose Blogspot, you will be able add an automatic audio player that will activate automatically each time a visitor enters your blog!”
“But I thought that blog readers don’t like automatic audio players,” said Javi “in fact, every time I enter a blog and a song begins to play without me wanting it to, I curse the author’s name”
“He calls upon the author to explain, Nicky!” laughed Waits. “You see, kid, that’s why you should choose WordPress. Sure, it does not allow you to add widgets, but you can always add a link to an external server to play the song”
“Yeah, maybe you’re right…” said Javi “I’m sorry, Nick, but I choose WordPress. But don’t worry, you’re still my second favorite artist!”
“Second? SECOND? Who’s first?” asked Cave, furious.
“Well… Tom Waits.”
“HA! Put that on your pipe and smoke it, Nick!” said Waits with a wicked grin.
“This is not over yet, Tom!” screamed Cave “If I can’t take this kid with me, I’ll take another! You will never win!” and, in a blink, he disappeared.
 
Astounded, Javi asked Waits what did Cave mean.
“Well, you see, when we aren’t songwriting, we like to get people to write blogs. Nick is a Blogspot man, while I prefer WordPress” explained Waits
“Wow… You must be REALLY bored!”
“Hey, it’s a way as good as any other to spend your time. You should try it” proposed Waits
“Er– Maybe later, thank you” declined Javi “Anyway, when do I get to sink my teeth in my brand new WordPress blog?”
“Oh, right, I almost forgot. Let there be a blog!” exclaimed Waits, and a stream of golden powder flowed from the palm of his hand.
 
 

“Let there be a blog!”

 
 
“…That was really nice, but where the heck is my blog?” asked Javi
“Your blog isn’t anywhere yet. Go to the WordPress website and fill the registration form to create your damn blog!”
“And all the golden powder thingy?”
“Oh, that was just for show.” smiled Waits “And now I must be leaving, ‘cause I sail tonight to Singapore!”
“Oh, can I go with you?” asked Javi with hope shining in his eyes
“Of course not. So long, Javi! Good luck with your blog! And remember, there is no Devil, there’s only God when He’s drunk!”
“But I thought you played the Devil in the film “The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus” asked Javi
“Oh, did I?” and, in a cloud of smoke, he disappeared, grinning.
 
 

 
 
And that’s how I got my blog. True story. One day I’ll tell you the story of how I met Mr. Paws (or how he met me).
 
Cheers!
 
 
P.S.: The song “God Is In The House” is satirical. That means that all the homophobic comments are NOT to be taken seriously. There was some controversy when the song was released and Cave explained that he thought that it was clear that he was being satirical.
And listen to the songs! I have spent ages uploading them! D’you hear me? AAAAAGES!!

Laptop Computer Choices that fit your lifestyle are key to matching you to your machine. It’s just as important as choosing the right pair of shoes. If it fits well, you can go about your day with the greatest of ease, otherwise you will be stumbling and fiddling with that which doesn’t fit. Laptops are not created equally, so it’s very wise to educate yourself before making your choice in a laptop.

Laptops have taken the place of many other tech gadgets in our daily lives. A laptop can be your communication tool that may no longer require you to have a pager, a fax machine, or even a cell phone. I know that replacing a cell phone is a stretch for most of you, but if you just need to check for messages or send out emails to make others aware of your notes, it really can eliminate other interactive devices.

Finding the right fit for you and your laptop is your first step in getting the right laptop that will serve you best. If you are a constant surfer type, or you spend a lot of time online, then one very crucial consideration is the connectivity to a reliable power source. Staying connected is everything, so if you are constantly moving from place to place, a laptop battery life expectancy is ultimate in your laptop selection. Make sure your salesperson knows what he/she is selling and can assure you that laptop battery life will fit your use time.

Laptop memory size is another key factor in getting the most of your laptop. Basically, there are 4 primary figures associated with laptop or desktop pc memory, 256MB 512 MB 1024MB and 1GB memory capacities. For the average user 512MB will do well, but if you are a ‘pack rat’ per say, and you never like to delete files or information for fear that you’ll need it later, go for the larger memory sizes.

Laptop warranty is also important when choosing the right laptop. Warranties can be a lifesaver on your unexpected expenses side of your business or personal use budget. A laptop can and will fail at some point, being prepared ahead of time for just such an emergency can minimize your frustration level, not to mention a cost to repair jolt.

Brand name laptops vs generic or budget laptops, which is the best buy on a laptop? Well, again, it’s all in who will be using it and what you plan to do with it. Let’s say you are shopping for a young teen’s first laptop, then the most important factors could be initial cost and memory size. In this case, a lower priced laptop is a good fit. If you can splurge on a laptop, and you plan to use it as a key tool in your daily business, go for name brand laptops , laptop functions, extra slots for laptop upgrades, and laptop warranties that will keep your uptime primed for a happy laptop life.

For more on choosing the right laptop for your lifestyle and or your family budget

Laptops

Day 9 – Saturday

One of the things I am looking forward to is not having a low level feeling of embarrassment all the time. It is a low level feeling because I’m fairly pragmatic, so when I meet new people I tend to concentrate on meeting them rather than wallowing in self-consciousness (or so I like to tell myself). So while I wasn’t loosing weight (or loosing it systematically) I would brazen it out at some level and focus on the encounter rather than on what I thought they thought about me.

Paradoxically, I am now slightly more embarrassed about previous encounters than I was at the time. I am pleased with how I responded to Paula’s compliment on Thursday, and pleased that I taught myself years ago to accept compliments with a ‘thank you’. Otherwise the whole thing could turn into a charge of the lighter life brigade, with embarrassment on the left of me and embarrassment on the right of me.

I ate two bars yesterday because of the sheer thrill of having access to solid food again. Didn’t loose any weight though. Who’d have thought?

Kooky-Chew Human Dog Food

HOW WOULD YOU FEEL ABOUT GIVING SOME OUT AS HOLIDAY GIFTS? WOULD YOU TRY THEM?

Not been the best at keeping up with this blog. So much happening on a day-to-day basis, trying to find the energy to write has been challenging.

Yesterday was amazing. Pickle and I have been fighting a lot lately – the stress for both of us has been ridiculous, and for her especially. I can’t really imagine how it must feel to be her, found the woman of her dreams, but in a weird place in her life and with kids already in the mix, very recently out of a long-term relationship…. it’s a messy situation. I keep thinking about the choices I’ve made and how they’ve led me to where I am right now, and I can’t look at them as mistakes or regrets, because where I am right now is the first place I’ve felt right in my adult life. And I know that I never would have ended up here without those choices. But sometimes I can’t help it, I think if I had done things differently in the beginning, it would be different now. If I had slowed us down, neither of us would feel pressured to keep the relationship going for the kids (and most of the time we don’t, but when it gets really hard, it’s thinking about the kids that makes us work through it when we can’t find any other common ground to agree on). Of course, I’m a pusher and she’s a runner, so having something to anchor us both is probably part of the Universe’s Plan.

And of course, that just reminds me even further how much of a pawn I feel. Or better, a marionette puppet. Everyone’s got their hands on a string, and everyone’s pulling to their heart’s desire, and I’m just doing a weird little dance and I don’t feel like I’m getting much done at all. The PTB’s like to remind me once in a while that I am not the one in control, and I hate this out-of-control feeling. I don’t know what to do with it. I try to let go, and the more I let go, the more crap happens and the harder it gets yet.

But yesterday was an amazing day. We had an impromptu tofurkey feast and friends came over and it was OUR Thanksgiving. Our first Thanksgiving, and we can’t wait to do it again. Only thing that was missing was a card game (poker? spades? doesn’t matter) and the kiddos. They were with their dad’s family. But it was good. We had a fire going, people in food comas in the living room, watched a terribly awesome Thanksgiving-themed B horror flick (campy as all get out) called “Thankskilling”, went out for nightcaps and came home and had amazing sex. I’m trying to hold onto that for all it’s worth, something that we can look forward to when all this other crap is done.

Pickle texted me this afternoon when I was out of the house with the kids: “Remember I love you and they (the kids) love you and we’re gonna have a great life together one (day) soon…. sooner than you think baby, i know it.” For her to be so optimistic and positive….. it’s what I need. I’m usually the optimist, and lately, I’ve just been in the dark twisty place and I’m trying so hard to keep my head in this moment and be grateful for everything I have, whether it seems at first glance I should be grateful for it or not.

I feel SO honored to receive this award from one of my new blogging friends…
Tasneem. I have been SO lucky to have made sooo many new friends who have FANTASTIC blogs….just like
Tasneem. If you are feeling a bit like you need to smile and laugh, go for a visit to one of the BEST blogs for cheering me up….just like Tasneem has every day! Stop in and stay for a while. You will have a fun break from your reality! So, THANK YOU again to
Tasneem for this honor!

John 16: 13 Amplified But when He, the Spirit of Truth (the Truth-giving Spirit) comes, He will guide you into all the Truth (the whole, full Truth). For He will not speak His own message [on His own authority]; but He will tell whatever He hears [from the Father; He will give the message that has been given to Him], and He will announce and declare to you the things that are to come [that will happen in the future].

Romans 8:14 NLT For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God.

The Holy Spirit leads us and guides; He doesn’t force Himself on us nor does He take control over our will. Whatever He leads us to do we are in full control of whether we choose to do it or not. The presence of God isn’t going to just fall on us and make us do things. If we feel like we are being made to do something which we have no control that is not the Holy Spirit; God gave man a will and with it we choose to follow His direction. He will not come down and overpower us. He lives within us through the Holy Spirit. His direction and desire will rise up within us from our spirit. He will strengthen us inwardly to do the thing He is leading us to do. And by faith we step out and follow that leading. Our flesh, our emotions and feelings may be going in the opposite direction. We walk by faith and not by our emotions, feelings, or what we see (2 Cor 5:7).

The Holy Spirit will never lead us beyond what the Word says or contrary to what the Word says. To start walking by the leading of the Holy Spirit we need to first start obeying basics of the Word of God. One basic principle we need to obey from the Word of God is to walk in love (John 15:12). Another important standard we need to obey from the Word of God is to forgive others (Col 3:13). If we don’t obey His written Word how are we going to be able to obey the leading of God’s Holy Spirit? God is love (1 John 4:8). Keeping bitterness in our hearts and refusing to forgive hinders our ability to hear clearly the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Since the Holy Spirit is not going to come on us and make us live right, we have choices to make. With those choices comes responsibility for the things that happen in our life (Duet 30:19). Every day we have choices to make and how things turn out depend on those choices. If we make the correct choice that follows the Word of God we will have blessing but if we choose contrary to the Word of God we will have the opposite. Choose to get into the Word and pray every day and it will become easier for us to hear and be led by the Holy Spirit. Read the Word and become doers of the Word and you will be blessed (James 1:22-25). People who are diligent in the Word of God will know when the Holy Spirit is leading them in a certain direction or is speaking to them, because they set their minds on the things of the Spirit (Romans 8:5).

The Holy Spirit leads and guides us; He doesn’t compel or drive us to do things. Be led of the Spirit and not of the flesh; for those who are led of the Spirit are children of God.

I am such a lucky person. I have so many wonderful friends who really care about me. That just makes me feel so much more relaxed about things. Kristi, my friend since high school at

KEYPERS PARTI POODLES
is one of those such friends. She is always there for me, no matter how crazy I get! Kristi has devoted her life to all of her dogs. I lost count of how many she actually has! If you go over to

KEYPERS PARTI POODLES … you can see some of them. Well, she was feeling like her usual nice self, and she stopped by and gave me this award. Such a beautiful one, it is. It shows us how loyalty is something that a friend remans to show, no matter what. I am honored to receive this award. Thank you Kristi! If you all have a chance, go visit her site and check out ALL the dogs she has at

KEYPERS PARTI POODLES. You will just smile!

Thank you all for your kind words. I will be adding installments ASAP! Keep letting me know what you think. I love to hear from you.

Yesterday instead of Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy – and tons of other food – we decided to abstain.

Unheard of, you say?

Well – there was a very good reason.  Greg was invited to perform a wedding – and I went with him.  It was a very different way to spend Thanksgiving.  But we all know that variety is the “spice of life” – so we jumped at the opportunity to be different.

This wedding was very special.  The couple had met online – she has a two year old daughter – and they are very much in love and ready to settle down and be a “family”.  The bride’s father is a doctor – and the house is situated on the water with a million dollar view of puget sound.  A very lovely home for having a wedding.

Our daughter arrived before we did – she styled the bride’s hair – and it was beautiful!  We arrived right on time – the traffic was HORRIBLE.  But with our coffee in hand we were “happy campers” as we SAT and SAT in traffic.  When we got there – everyone was munching on snacks – elegantly laid out in the “great room” below.  The high cathedral ceiling and HUGE windows overlooking the water – was very picturesque – and a lovely backdrop for the ceremony.  I took many pictures – I posted a few below.

After the ceremony – everyone remarked to Greg that they appreciated him being so authentic and real – in telling the couple how it really is – not “sugar coating” it.  People need to hear this today – and we all know the statistics – one out of every two marriages will fail – it is important to do everything you can when you start out – to make sure you understand there are going to be good times – and bad times.  And at some point you may not “feel it” anymore – that’s when you need to remember what you sometimes forget – that you made a commitment on this day – and a promise for life.  Life can and will sometimes go “sideways” – and if you are not prepared for it – it can rock your world and blow even the strongest marriage to bits.

The mother of the bride – married 37 years – was challenged by  Greg’s words and could testify to the fact that sometimes it is that commitment that you need to remember when life has its challenges and stresses.  She was cute when she said, “It was good to be reminded – sometimes you just have to say – Oh that’s right!  I almost forgot”  This is why it’s good to go to a wedding once in a while.

Now I understand that there are extreme circumstances that cannot be reconciled in a marriage – abuse – physical and mental – and by staying with that partner you could be putting your life and your children’s lives in danger.  This is understandable and cannot be ignored – nor should the party that has to leave feel guilty or allow others to make you feel that way.  God is a loving and forgiving God – and I am a firm believer in “second chances” for those that have been involved in a bad first marriage.

But for the rest of us – here is my challenge today:  Remember those vows and commitment you made on that wedding day many years ago.  What God has blessed then – He will continue to bless – and it will repeat through your children and their children too.  Sometimes we just “forget”.  We need a gentle reminder – like a wedding.

God Bless

Family Gathering With Love

Love brought families together, and love is the common force of each person’s existence.  This love that binds the family together is often taken for granted.  If we were to dissect the superficial front of families we would find, strife, jealousy, fear and hatred and no holiday within the family feels like a blessing. 

Enter with me the tale of two families.  One family focuses on abundance, gratitude, blessings and love.  The other family focuses on power, individual differences, lack, and fear.  Thanksgiving, Christmas and the upcoming New Year are times when our thoughts turn to our birth families as we attempt to share time with our families.

Family one understands that life is challenging, beautiful and different for each member of the family.  The parents are supportive of their children, and provide the necessities of life.  They enjoy each other’s company, and no one seems to be fighting for compliments, being heard or being seen.  This family believes that love brought them together, and love will sustain them throughout the life aging process. 

This number one family believes that life is full, and there is much to gratefulness and thankfulness.  Love is endless in this family.  Each individual brings to the family their own uniqueness which brings more depth within the family.  With more depth comes richness and more meaning within the family.  In fact deeper conversations and sharing becomes as easy as pie.  Strife, dis-respect or jealousy seem to be only conversation topics.  Personalities will on occasion clash, (after all we are human) but that’s just it; the clash comes, and is gone within minutes.  These members of this family share the heartaches, trials, struggles equally.  They also share abundance and love equally. 

Family number two is quite different.  Each member holds grudges, and they come together under the parental control even as adults, and are still struggling to be their own person.  The strife is evident as the gathering starts.  This family lives in fear, lack and despise each other.  They become jealous of what the other has accomplished, and not supportive.  When they gather under one roof they revert back to the conditions of childhood.  The parents are in control, and the children know nothing. 

This second family everyone struggles to find their own voice, and they want to be seen as themselves, not what someone sees them.  The moment the family arrives the strife is evident, and underlying.  Each member feels the strain of not being loved, and not having enough love to go around.  The fun and cheer of the holiday doesn’t last very long, for someone will say something that will feel unwelcome, and the strife begins. 

This second family doesn’t intend to have holiday gatherings like this, but they ar not sure how else to be.  They are being the kind of people that they were taught from generation to generation.  This family must walk on eggshells when sharing personal thoughts, and endeavors.  This family gets along, but not without judgment, shame or blame.

Family number one, focuses on abundance, and love.  Family number two focuses on what they don’t have, or their own fear.  Family number one is a rare family, but that doesn’t mean that family number two can’t be like family number one. 

This is the time of year to begin to focus our thoughts and minds on abundance, and love.  We have so much to be thankful for, and we each are unique.  If allowed each individual in the family has something worthwhile to share, and to give.  Love is always abundant.  We must let go of our judgments, our shame and our willingness to blame others for our own behaviors. 

Take time to be grateful for who and what you are.   Know that you were brought into this world with love, into a family that truly wants to love.  If your family doesn’t know how to be without blame, shame or judgment then show them through your own actions.  Time and families are precious, and love is abundant.

Be blessed this holiday season.  Show and share your love with all.

Is religious education a form of brainwashing? Should children be free to make their own decisions about fundamental matters of faith? These questions are provoked by the new poster sponsored by the British Humanist Association. [See it here.] Two gloriously happy children hold their hands in the air as if they are about to do a cartwheel. The main text reads: “Please don’t label me. Let me grow up and choose for myself.” And floating in the background are the various labels under attack: “Buddhist child. Agnostic child. Protestant child. Humanist child. Catholic child. Atheist child…”

Religious education in Candelaria

First: The exercise of freedom requires some prior foundation. Children have to learn how to make choices: how to weigh things up, how to judge what is best, how to take responsibility. Any child psychologist knows this. Freedom doesn’t just happen. And an essential part of learning to choose is having some sense of the meaning of the world we inhabit, of the value of our actions, and of the significance of their consequences. In other words, freedom can’t be learnt outside a context of meaning and values.

Religious faith can help establish this context; so can a robust humanism. But to think that freedom can be learnt in a vacuum, without the sharing of any moral or philosophical convictions, is simply naïve. Children who are brought up without inherited values of any kind are actually less able to exercise their freedom and choose for themselves. Just as children who are brought up without boundaries will never be able to learn the significance of crossing them.

Second: If you believe something important to be true, then you shouldn’t pretend it is an open question. This goes for secular humanists as much as for religious believers. If, for example, you are a convinced atheist, and you think that belief in God is false at an intellectual level and damaging through its distorting effects on morality, then of course you would want to share this conviction with your children. It would be unjust to keep it from them. Similarly, if you believe in God, and you believe that this faith is not just a lifestyle choice or a cultural imperative but an objective truth with profound implications for human existence, how could you not share this conviction with your children? Yes, you want to nurture their freedom and you hope they will discover things for themselves. But if it is a question of truth – whether scientific or moral or spiritual – then you will inevitably want to guide your children along a certain path, knowing full well that they may one day choose to veer off in another direction.

Third: It’s a fantasy to imagine that children can be raised in a philosophically neutral environment without some dominant world-view. Theism – as much as atheism, materialism, or secular humanism (these terms are not synonymous) – provides a particular understanding of the meaning of the world and of human life, which will help structure a child’s understanding and values. But if you try to bring your children up in an environment which is indifferent to questions of ultimate meaning, then your purported neutrality will already have been lost. If, in effect, you say to your children, “I don’t care enough about these values or convictions to share them with you”, or “they are important to me but not important in themselves”, then you are presenting them with a very particular world-view. In this view, religious questions and all questions of ultimate meaning are relativised, and indifference is taken to be the predominant value.

To say to a child, “I don’t mind – you choose!” is to give the child the strongest possible impression that the available options are all equally significant, which is to say that none is uniquely significant. So this apparently ‘soft’ form of neutrality suggested in the poster is actually a ‘hard’ form of relativism which relegates religious and philosophical questions to the periphery of human interest.

Fourth: A strong notion of autonomy, which is essential to an individual’s freedom, requires an appreciation of one’s human dignity. Children need to know not just that they are loved but that their life has meaning and is valuable in itself. If this is not communicated in some way, then the love of the parents, however profound, will become distorted, because the children will see themselves as valuable to their parents but not valuable as persons in their own right. It doesn’t matter how this innate value is framed (‘human dignity’, ‘the sanctity of life’, etc.) as long as it is articulated somehow.

Human autonomy, rightly cherished by secular humanists, needs some notion of intrinsic human dignity to support it – otherwise it has no foundation and no meaning. So, paradoxically, in order to liberate children from the limited vision of their parents and culture, you have to imbue them with a strong sense of their own worth, of their dignity, of their significance in a framework of meaning. The humanism of the early Enlightenment held on to a strong notion of human dignity and human uniqueness, even as it became more secular. But as secular humanists have become more and more materialist in their outlook, and as materialism has failed to offer any satisfying accounts of human dignity, it has become almost impossible to avoid describing human nature in reductivist terms.

Contemporary secular humanists are largely unable to explain to children why their freedom and autonomy have any significance, why their life has any meaning – and this is why the exaltation of freedom proposed in this poster feels a bit hollow. If you really want your children to be free, you need to tell them why their freedom matters, and help them appreciate some of the values they might pursue. And to do that, you need to use at least a few labels

~ In celebration of “Black Friday,” I’m sharing one of my favorite essays. It was originally published May 21, 2009.  Enjoy!

“The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude”  [Dennis Brown].

Let’s face it: bad days happen to everyone — no one is immune. Sometimes you know from the minute you wake-up, (late — because you forgot to set the alarm) and sometimes you don’t realize the storm clouds of misfortune are forming in the distance until you arrive at your destination, only to discover a colleague’s bad day is raining on your parade.

Wouldn’t it be great if, in addition to the headlines, the weather, and traffic conditions, local news stations could provide us with the mood outlook for the day? Maybe it would sound something like this:

• We’re expecting a strong frustration front to blow in this afternoon. Be sure to take your resilience with you. You might also want to consider packing an extra dose of enthusiasm before you head out the door.

• Eye in the Sky is reporting that you’ll want to avoid the Accounting and Finance Departments entirely this morning. There’s been a huge pile-up of egos, unmet expectations, and ineffective processes in that area. HR is now on the scene, but it looks like progress will be backed up for hours.

• The big headline this morning is that power remains out in the Customer Service Department. It appears that a supervisor, who had previously reported ongoing communication problems, blew up late yesterday afternoon. Unfortunately, nearly everyone on that floor was affected. No word yet on when crews will be able to restore productivity to that area.

If we’re wise, we’ll be initiating defensive maneuvers (for example, reading motivational books and articles) before we’re hit broadside by the attitudes of others. What safety measures are you engaging to protect your attitude?

One of my favorite children’s books is by Judith Viorst entitled, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. This humorous short story follows a boy named Alexander throughout his day, documenting how (from his view) everything and everyone (including the family pet) conspires to make his day horrible. He’s not permitted to sit by the window during the ride to school; his mother forgot to pack dessert in his lunch; there are lima beans for dinner (UGH!) and, “The cat wants to sleep with Anthony, not with me.”

At the end of the book it’s the end of the day and Alexander repeats yet again, “It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.” His mother responds simply, “some days are like that.”  Isn’t that the truth?

The good thing about life is that it is just so . . . daily! If you don’t like how today turned out, despite your very best effort, don’t despair. You’ll get another chance tomorrow.

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in, forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day, you shall begin it well and serenely . . ” [Ralph Waldo Emerson].

Just remember, “happiness doesn’t depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude” [Dale Carnegie]. Regardless of uncontrollable external conditions swirling around, you have absolute control over your attitude and your response.

One of my favorite quotes is attributed to former Boston Celtic Bill Russell, “The game is scheduled, we have to play it — we might as well win.”

Are you in it to win it today? Or are you going to allow the torrential downpour of negative news, grouchy coworkers, and rude drivers quench your positive outlook? “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude” [Maya Angelou].

Whatever you are, be a good one!

Deanna

As I exited the movie theater in New Town on Friday and congregated near the fountain/wish pool with Katherine, Mom, Mandy, and several others to talk, I was sure that there had been some kind of mistake.

The matinee showing of the movie New Moon, which I had expected to be overwhelmed with giggling teen-aged girls, was largely empty. As I noted the empty seats in the darkened theater, I wondered if we had been the victims of a nuclear attack or if the end of the Mayan calendar had come a few years early.

Walking towards the car, however, I noticed that the courtyard in front of the AMC Theater was starting to fill up with above listed clientele, and I was glad that Katherine had used good judgment in the time slot she selected when purchasing our movie tickets the week before.

New Moon is the second movie in a quad epic that features…among other things…a believable high school romance, a great plot with plenty of twists and bends, and of course, the main attraction….vampires.

It is impossible to have any degree of connection with the world and not have heard mention of the Twilight series and its recent adaption to film. The hype, which began last year, has reached a fevered pitch as the newest installment in the series was released on Thursday night. I feel comfortable in predicting that whether we like it or not, Twilight will likely be a conversation topic among both adults and teens for months to come.

Over the past few months, I have noted that many people have avoided reading / watching the Twilight series because of it’s vampire-centered theme.

As I have thought about this, I have realized that abstinence from the series is not a decision that is all that far-fetched.

After all, Vampires are traditionally evil creatures that conjure up visions of black garb, animalistic inclinations, devious minds devoid of mercy, and a general tendency towards doing harm to others. The reading of a book, let alone a series of books based on such characters merits a degree of explanation.

I can remember back to last year when I first started reading the series.

My brother Michael recommended Twilight to me, and I was curious about what kind of book would inspire the high level of enthusiasm that was evident in both teen-aged and adult “Twilighters”. I remember posting my intention to read the series on facebook and instantly receiving comments like:

“Don’t do it….it’s a trap!”

“Curiosity killed the cat…”

True to the dire predictions, I was immediately sucked into a plot that I had thought I would find immature and full of hormonal sap. I was pleasantly surprised to find that Stephanie Myers, who I discovered was a member of the LDS faith to which I subscribe, was one of the most engaging writers I have ever had the pleasure of reading.

The storyline was far from offensive; in fact, it seemed to have many of the same qualities as a Disney movie….a story that was guaranteed to entertain the kids (teenagers in this case) and a healthy dose of thought provoking parables for the adults to digest while in tow.

Twilight begins with a 17 year old junior named Bella moving from her home in Arizona to live with her dad in the small town of Forks, Washington. Amid the awkwardness of starting a new life…and school…Bella meets a young man named Edward that she is immediately drawn to, but who seems inexplicably repulsed by her presence at the school.He is openly hostile to her, and goes out of his way to avoid her. Bella is crushed until, through the course of time, she finds out that Edward is a vampire, and has been avoiding her because he is attracted to her…both as a love interest and as the main course for Sunday dinner.

Here we are introduced to one of the particular parts of the story that interest me as both a member of the LDS faith and as a reader of well-known Christian writers like C.S. Lewis. Since my church has remained silent on the Twilight series, I cannot speak as an authoritative opinion on the subject, or for any other member of my faith, but I can speak for myself about many of the practical lessons I was able to glean from the series.

Edward, Bella’s love interest, was part of a small family of vampires. As in most books and movies that depict them, vampires in the Twilight series were not portrayed as being “nice” (as a whole). They did all of the things that typical vampires do; most notably, preying on unsuspecting humans. The character strength that separated Edward’s family ( known as “the Cullins”) from other vampires was their strong sense of morality and respect for human life. They realized that they were “monsters”…i.e, they had come to an awareness that if they followed their natural inclinations, the sum total of their existence would be one of inflicting pain and suffering on people who were largely defenseless against their powers. Since the Cullins were all altruistic in nature, they found themselves with an important decision to make:

1) Succumb to their animal instincts and enjoy the pleasure of gratifying their appetite at the expense of conscience

2) Obey their conscience and excersise self-control….living a life that served a value-sized helping of self-denial

Each member of the Cullin family committed to this “vegetarian” lifestyle that required the sacrifice of very real and very powerful physical desires to preserve that which would surely be lost otherwise…. the inclination to genuinely care for others.

As I have thought about the Cullin family and their plight in the Twilight series, I have wondered if we earth-bound mortals are much different from vampires …at least in theory.

To one degree or another, we all understand the compassionate observation that Jesus discerned in His slumbering disciples on the night before He was crucified.

As He suffered agony of spirit in the Garden of Gethsemane, He asked them if they could not overcome their sleepiness to “watch with me for one hour” as He struggled in fervent prayer.

Observing their failure to do so, He acknowledged,

“The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Jesus kindly acknowledged that the flesh has a strong influence on our actions, and our best intentions are sometimes thwarted by the weaknesses that we are exposed to in our “fallen” state.

Other references in scripture are made concerning the dualistic nature of man:

In Romans 8 we read:

“For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.
For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.”

The Book of Mormon, another staple of my faith, also addresses this concept:

“Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal glife, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.

And now…. I would that ye should look to the great Mediator, and hearken unto his great commandments; and be faithful unto his words, and choose eternal life, according to the will of his Holy Spirit;
And not choose eternal death, according to the will of the flesh and the evil which is therein, which giveth the spirit of the devil power to captivate, to bring you down to hell, that he may reign over you in his own kingdom.”

The war between the flesh and the spirit has existed as long as man has been on earth. I believe that there is much spiritual growth accomplished by choosing to overcome the “will of the flesh”…or our natural propensity to seek pleasure without regard to the welfare of others. Just like strap-on ankle and wrist weights bring resistance…and strength… to the aspiring marathon runner, so our overcoming the selfish drag of our “carnal” appetites in favor of spiritual growth allow us to become morally stronger and increase our faith in following the “inner voice” that guides and directs our decisions.

Like the Cullins, we often find ourselves tempted to say or do things we know we shouldn’t. What we do in those moments will ultimately define who we are. Each decision we make seems to carry an energy with it….a momentum that makes the next step in that direction that much easier. While all Christians will agree that the sacrifice our Savior made in Gethsemane and on the cross makes repentance and positive change possible at any stage of human experience, I have come to believe that it is not wise to trifle with God’s gifts and procrastinate that which we ought to do in the “now” of our mortal existence.

I was told last winter by my doctor that it was possible that I had contracted what is known as Barrett’s esophagus, a precancerous condition that is caused by acid reflux. As the acid in the stomach erodes the lower esophagus, the damaged tissue responds by mutating, forming a new, more durable tissue that resembles the small intestine. The problem with the mutation is that it is possible that the cells will continue to mutate until they become cancerous…especially if nothing is done to curb the acid. Frequent exams are required to make sure this process is not headed in that direction.

Deliberate sin and willful trampling of conscience seem to have the same “acidic” effect on the spirit. Moving further away from right choices seems to have the cumulative effect of starving the soul and hardening the heart. While the gift of repentance is still available, it becomes increasingly evident that something inside has changed. Humility and obedience are no longer desirable and it is difficult to serve a master that is distant and unfamiliar.

Watching the Cullins battle against their desire for the forbidden…human blood…leaves me viewing them more like kindred spirits than evil monsters. Whether it is with a physical appetite, a bad temper, pride, or any one of the millions of temptations we struggle through, we all can relate to having to struggle with a dualistic nature as we seek to become better people.

A scene from the original Twilight ( the first in the series) best sums it up for me.

As Edward is fighting one of the evil-natured vampires that has attacked his beloved Bella, he loses control of his temper. Instead of being content to defend Bella, he finds himself in a blind rage against the impostor, and becomes increasingly intent on destroying him. Grabbing him by the arm, Carlisle (the father figure in the Cullin family) fixes Edward with an intense gaze that calms him enough to hear a quiet but powerful message…

“Remember who you are.”

In an age who’s morality could well be summed up in the revolting implications set forth in the advertising mantra “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”, I was refreshed in mind and spirit to hear a declaration to Edward…and to a nation of admiring teenagers…that “choosing the right” is still the way to find lasting happiness.

In “remembering who we are”, we will all find ourselves with an increasing inclination to reach out to others and do right by them. We will feel the drag of the “carnal man” less and less. As we feel the peace and comfort of the Lord’s Spirit increasing in our lives, we will come to a greater understanding of what the Savior meant when He said “the truth shall set you free”.

Edward Cullin, admirable in his determination to maintain control of his desires, was not the only reference to the divine that I noticed as the Twilight saga unfolded.

Each vampire in the Cullin family had a gift that, upon reflection, could be attributed in some way to the real Deity we worship. Edward could read the thoughts of humans (with one notable exception). Jasper had the power to calm others with his influence. Carlisle had the gift of healing and possessed exceptional judgment skills. Alice, my personal favorite, had the ability to see into the future.

As I have thought about these gifts, particularly Alice’s, I have been struck with an ever increasing awe of the “non-fiction” power possessed by God Himself.

In the Bible, God declares,

“Behold, My name is Jehovah, and I see the end from the beginning.”

Such foresight runs an interesting parallel in Alice’s relationship to Bella in the series.

From the beginning, Alice sees what Bella’s destiny will be. This knowledge, however, is never used to thwart or interfere with Bella’s free agency. Alice only intervenes at key points in Bella’s life that will put her in the best position to obtain that which her heart is already set on.

With these thoughts in mind, I have often wondered how to engage in an earnest exchange (in prayer) with a being that is omnipotent and “knows the end from the beginning”?

Does God not know what we will say before we say it?

Does God not know what we need before we ask?

The Savior certainly alluded to this certainty when he uttered His oft recited prayer on the Mount.

Such implications have not only affected and tempered my personal prayers to God over the years, but have restrained my heart from wanton desires that, to my mind are perfectly reasonable, but that may prove catastrophic when looked at with God’s “bird’s eye view”.

As I gain personal experience with God’s hand in my life, it is increasingly clear to me why faith is necessary in following God.

For Him to reveal all things to us would make us mere puppets, robotically acting out a script that would hold little or no meaning for any of us. Walking with only partial knowledge creates a deep respect and desire for truth, and gives meaning to our existence as we put together our own epic saga one chapter at a time. I thank God on one hand for the truth I have received, and on the other hand for leaving enough mystery about life to keep me searching for more.

As the Twilight series came to a close, I was dismayed to find that Alice seemed to have deserted her family at a crucial moment in the plot. She seemed to play a key role in the successful culmination of the anticipated outcome, and instead of adhering to her previously loyal personality, she turned up AWOL with no explanation.

It was only at the very climax of the story that she reappeared, carrying with her not only the saving grace that averted disaster, but the answers to haunting questions about the “why’s” and “how’s” of her motives and methods. As I shook my head in amazement, I was forced to admit that there were no parts of the storyline that did not perfectly fit into the ending. Everything had it’s place in getting Bella to where she truly wanted to be….even (and especially) those things which caused her the most pain.

The scriptures tell us that in the end, when we seek our eternal abode in the many mansions of our Father’s kingdom, we will be judged on the following criteria:

“For I, the Lord, will judge all men according to their works, according to the desire of their hearts”

Like Bella, we will find ourselves exactly where the desires of our hearts lead us.

As we maneuver the pathways of mortality, we will be tested again and again and again. The end result of that testing will reveal to us our true nature and character as we establish patterns and dispositions. Bella was willing to travel a road laced with both joy and pain, happiness and sorrow,
inspiration and opposition to realize her heart’s true desire in the beginning of the series. Her faith, hope, and love saw that dream to fruition….but not without pain and tribulation.

We can expect to follow a similar course if we are to realize the full measure of our creation:

” Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation.
For after much tribulation come the blessings.”

As I close the last page of the Twilight series and put the already well-worn book back on the shelf to await the next movie installment, I get the sense that there is much more available to us in the storyline than teen romance and Hollywood hype.

Perhaps that was the intent of the author.

Perhaps not.

Either way, I know that I will never see a Twilight marquee again without thinking of parallels to my own life’s saga.

Every day I add a page to the text of that story that I will one day spend eternity reading.

With you, I continue to look with a glad heart and an optimistic attitude for the day when we will no longer strain to see “through a glass darkly”.

As the chapters in our life’s epic slowly fall into place, we will no longer wistfully yearn for warmth as twilight settles in.

We will no longer tramp down the pathway of destiny with only the pale light of the new moon to show us the way.

The darkness of our deepest eclipses will disperse as the ebbing nightfall grows steadily brighter towards the east…..and our steps hasten toward the light of Breaking Dawn.

1. Things happen when you least expect them to.

2. Patience is being hopeful.

3. Time away always helps.

4. Daydreaming is as essential as reading.

5. Choices will always be there for you to make.

6. Go with the flow.

7. Live in the present.

8. It’s better to be preoccupied than to have nothing to do.

9. Lie in the sun sometimes.

10. Admit things.

ALL MY LOVE TO ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE COME BY TO WISH ME A HAPPY TURKEY DAY! I HOPE ALL OF YOU ARE ENJOYING YOUR DAY!

Day 7 – Thursday
26th November
Weight 91.7kg / 14 stone 6 / 202 lbs (dressed)
BMI 33.3
Lost this week: 6 lbs
Total loss: 6 lbs

My language around Lighter Life has become very infantalised. I said to my counsellor this week that I was looking forward to ‘being on solids’ as she gave me the bars, and when one member of the class asked me later whether I was spreading out the packs during the day I said that I was ‘half way between having a routine and eating on demand’.

I’m wearing trousers today that I’ve not worn for at least 3 years, and a colleague commented on my weight-loss. This isn’t in fact the first comment. Early this year I was about 16 stone, and I’ve lost not quite a stone and a half during the year.

This post is from Bruce:

Regardless of what came before or of what is yet to come, what matters most right now is how I choose to respond to the challenge before me. Will I lie down or will I fight? The choice is mine; I choose to Finish Strong with the help others.”  The “help of others” is the key.  When I take the “I” out and replace it with “we will fight”, somehow I become a whole person, thinking and believing in my fellow man.

We all must deal with challenges from time to time.  Have you ever noticed that when you’re grateful, the world around you changes? Gratitude can open your eyes to what’s truly important; give you hope and inspiration; allow you to see light and life and love.  It reminds us that we can appreciate “right now,” no matter what else is going on in our lives.  Giving Thanks is the perfect action for this time of the year. Think about it.  The last time you gave thanks or did something good for someone else, it was it like a breath of fresh air. Whatever is going on in your life, or in the world there is always time to give thanks and help others.

Consciously cultivating thankfulness is a journey of the soul, one that begins when we look around us and see the positive effects that gratitude creates. We do this by noticing those around us to whom gratefulness comes easily, and realizing how much we enjoy being around these people.

Take a few minutes to reflect back on a happy moment in your life that stands out for you, a moment that stays with you, even if it happened ten, twenty, forty years ago. Experience it again—see the scene, hear the sounds that were around you, feel the sensations. What was it about that moment that stays with you? What was going on for you that allowed you to feel grateful?

 Once this is done go find someone and tell them to have a “Happy Thanksgiving”.

 “Happy Thanksgiving from me”

I am listening:

 Bruce

Regional Director, Region IV

 Houston, Texas