I thoroughly enjoyed the MLS Cup Final this past weekend – and congrats to Real Salt Lake on their first trophy. I’ve got lots of thoughts on the game, but want to voice my opinion on what was in my mind the most unbelievable moment of the night – Landon Donovan’s penalty-kick miss.

I was extremely disappointed with Donovan’s performance in the 2006 World Cup. I’ve always thought his status as the savior of American soccer to be a bit overblown and a good deal undeserved. Seeing the negative reaction to this latest PK miss, however, I can’t help but speak out against what I see as much more overblown and undeserved criticism being heaped on Landon over the past few days.

First of all – Landon Donovan did NOT blow the MLS Cup for the Galaxy. His miss certainly didn’t help things, but it was his perfectly-executed cross that set up Mike MaGee for an easy goal to put the Galaxy on the board. Without that cross, the Galaxy would never have gotten to PK’s in the first place.

Second – although this miss was an unfortunate one, it cannot undo history: Landon Donovan is one of the USA’s most dependable players when it comes to penalty kicks, especially in international play. In any sport, the greatest players sometimes fall short – and Donovan is no exception. But to doubt the deservedness of his position as the designated player for penalty kicks for the national team – as some people have since this weekend – is foolish. Landon Donovan should and will continue taking PK’s for the national team – and given his past record, he will miss them very, very infrequently.

Third – despite the miss, and in spite of what his critics say, Landon Donovan is still the best player the USA has. Like him or not, the USA’s success in the 2010 World Cup will hinge largely on his performance. When he’s in form, he can control the pace of the game like no other midfielder on Bradley’s roster. His passing instincts are good, his speed and fitness are top-notch, and he has demonstrated the ability to convert scoring opportunities into goals rivaled only by the injured Charlie Davies. I can only hope that Donovan can rise above his critics – and any self-doubt misses like this are sure to create – and realize his full potential in South Africa next summer.

**seeing as this is my VERY first ever blog post, i should probably start it out with a warning. what you are about to read may be considered offensive to you, your mother, your cousin, your dog, your boyfriend/ girlfriend, your religion, culture, or many other people/ things. it is NOT my intention to offend. if you are offended, i apologize in advance seeing as i, myself, have been offended by things other people have said in poor taste, but then again – i don’t really hold the standards i have for other people up-against myself. I KID! everything i say is NOT really how i feel. but you are more than welcome to send me hate email, if you’d like. also, i encourage you to not read from here-on-out. but it is your choice. i am, afterall, pro-choice**

i started working when i was 15. for some god awful reason i convinced myself that a job was a really great thing to have & i needed one. mostly, i think i believed that having a job made me more grown up than the mere 15 years old i was at the time.

[although, i have always sincerely believed i am a 47 year old woman, with no soul, mind you]

in my, almost, 9 years of gainful employment i have experience sexual harassment, gender discrimination, ageism & a host of other annoyances, issues, indiscretions, under payment, crying-fests, etc. etc. but i have never wanted to choke a bitch the way i do in the current position i … endure.

because i am a professional woman who would never name names [although not-so-professional that i wouldn't refrain from admitting that i want to choke a bitch] i shall keep “the bitch” anonymous. let’s just say it’s someone i see M-F between the hours of 8AM & 4:30PM.

now, i know what you are thinking… you totally checked out my lameass “about” page & learned that i call myself a feminist. this is true. but i am an equal opportunist feminist & this feminist believes & KNOWS that women can be bitches. i am not so self-righteous to think that it is degrading to call a woman a bitch. i mean, sometimes, it is just a fact. & you really can’t dispute facts, now can you? plus, i know i am a bitch, which is probably why i can justify calling someone else a bitch. i am a firm believer that if i am going to have what society believes is a negative connotation characteristic applied to myself than hot-damn i am bringing some other bitches down with me! besides, i don’t apply the bitch label to only women [that would be discrimination]

[here comes the equal opportunity part]

i have known many men that have been just as much bitches as women so.. there you go. i don’t discriminate.

before i go ahead any further, i should tell everyone who has chosen to read this [all one of you out there...] that i am long-winded. it’s a hereditary thing,  most definitely. my mother is long-winded & her mother [my grandmother] is long-winded, &, well, i don’t know anything about anyone beyond that point being long-winded, but i imagine they are, too. with the knowledge of my long-winded-ness, i am going to spare you the long story

[in hopes that you will come back & read again, or not... what the fuck do i really care? i'm still gonna rant cause that's what i do & more than likely, said rant will be long-winded. just deal.]

so, in honor of my first blog post, here is the condensed version of my story.

the bitch says to me today “why are you typing so much?” ::: in an irritated & condescending tone, with implications that i am engaging in illegal activities [which i am not] :::

[mind you, i work in administrative & document control services. my job requires me to sit in front of a computer & type ALL-FUCKING-DAY-LONG & be glued to a seat that is more uncomfortable than an airport seat & if you know me at all you, you know i have a MAJOR complex about all things airplane-related ]

anyway, so she asks this retarded fucking question to which i choose not to respond for the mere fact that, if i do, i am pretty sure i am gonna push this woman down on the ground, pull her underwear up over her head, choke the bitch, & then kick her in the shins – for good measure, of course.

after having conversated this to a friend of mine, he informs me his friend is, quite frankly, an expert at choking a bitch. Her suggestion is as follows:

“If it’s your 1st time choking a bitch I suggest using ceramic supplies.

There’s wire tools that are very useful.”

i mean, if this admin gig thing doesn’t work out [which i already know it won't since i'm putting in my 2 week notice next month, SUCKERS] i could always consider employment as a bitch choker.

it’s always nice to have a backup plan, my parents have taught me this.

*i bet i could get wayne brady to be my future employer*

Reason for sending warriors/archers

During the early stages of an ancient start game, especially during a teamer warriors and archers are send to the opponent in order to slow down his build-up (= “choke”) or sometimes steal worker or even kill him. Of course the warriors and archers can be followed up by chariots, axes and more. If metal isn´t hooked till then, it´s not necessarily game over, but it´s probably looking grim. I´ll try to focus on how to deal with the first couple of units you get early into your land in a 1 vs 1 situation.

The defending player has one worker and warrior each. He cannot hook his corn without at least another unit, preferably an archer if he does not want to give the player who send a warrior to him odds around 50% on winning the game or at least stealing the worker.

What you are trying to achieve when warriors/archers are in your land

Playing well with a couple of units in your land that block off some tiles or form a bigger choke is one of the greater challenges in multiplayer civilization. Your goal is to try to keep up in build-up in relation to your opponent who send or is sending you those units. Remember he spend early hammers on building them, so you probably have a small build-up advantage at first which he is trying to overturn in his favour with slowing you down while not being slowed by any units himself since your are busy dealing with his stuff in your land.

Overall you first don´t want to invest more hammers into getting rid of opposing units then the opponent invested to build them. Killing a chariot with 2 archers, losing one, is a gain of 4 hammers. Second you don´t want to get slowed down in setting up your empire (hooking ressources, expanding …)

1. The first warrior
First thing you need to consider is a potential warriorstart of the opposing team. As long as the starting technologies of one civilization on the other team include Hunting, it´s a scoutstart.
List of civilizations that have Hunting as a starting technology:

• Ethiopia
• Aztec
• Germany
• Greece
• Holy Rome
• Celtics
• Khmer
• Mongolia
• Persia
• Russia
• Vikings
• Zulu

I recommend printing or writing a list of those if you play ancient start on Team_Battleground regularly or plan on doing so – here is my old one, which by now I don´t need anymore

If you are facing a warriorstart and you yourself start with a scout – you are behind turn 0. Warriorstart vs. Scoutstart is one of the most unbalancing factors in an ancient start teamer game. In that case get some units early, don`t go worker first unless you know what you are doing . Try not to let the other team build up without any opposing unis in their land after just having send their 5 initial warriors. Even if you get choked or slowed down, try to send at least a unit or two to do the most basic choking job. Especially the first unit you send counts – see also the above picture for an exemplary reason for that. One unit send means opponent having two build at least two units to be able to work his land freely.

2. Determining what will be thrown at you
Scout your opponent, especially the fatcross (=the 20 tiles a city could potentially work) of the capital.

• Did he plant his capital on a tile (plains hill, plains marble/stone elephant) giving him 2 hammer instead of 1 ?
• Does he have a 3-hammer-tile to work ?
• Is he Expansive, is he Aggressive ?
• Does he have a civ with an early ancient unique unit ?
• What are his habits (knowing his playing style required here) ?

All those are factors that can help you predict or at least take into consideration what your opponent will do, helping you to plan better what you yourself  should be doing. An expansive leader with a 2 hammer plant (and a 2 hammer tile to work) will almost always build a worker first. An aggressive leader with a 2 hammer plant and a 3 hammer tile to work will most probably send you one or two 2-turn warriors first, before starting production of his first worker. Another indicator might be the unique uint available to your opponent. IF he is Inca, he will try sending Quechuas early, if he is Mali, he will probably not send more then one warrior, if that at all and instead get a worker and only then spam out skirmishers. If someone is Maya or Natives, he might save money from turn 0n and upgrade his first warrior to a Holkan/Dog Soldier.

While no factor alone can provide you wiht certain information by itself, with some experience you start making better and better predictions about your opponent´s behaviour.

3. Don´t die to a warrior
Whatever you do, whether you go worker first, whether you send out your first and maybe even second warrior, keep in mind your own safety. It is solely a question of skill (with the very, very rare exceptions from the rule) whether you die to a warrior or not.

Checklist:

• How long would you need to build a warrior in case of emergency ?
• In an ancient start Team_Battleground 5v5, are you on the 3-people or 2-people-side ? If the first, front or middle ?
• Does the opposing team have a warrior or scout start ?
• In what way can a warrior move in on you – what´s the minimum amount of turns you will spot it before.

I recommend the article on vision range at this point. There are three basic situations in regard to how many turns of warning you have on an approaching warrior, namely one, two or three unless you have spotted the unit before for example with your initial scout or a warrior you build and send out yourself.

In most games you know turn 0 towards which direction the front is (where the opponent can come from). Check what can happen. How many turns warning will you have in worst case scenario ? Do you have a cornre, which would unguarded give you only 1 turn warning ? Maybe send the scout up there as a sentry. If you feel your land provides you with less then 3 turns warning, preproduce a wrarior for one turn – put enough hammers into it, so that you can finish it in 2 turns if needed and only then build your worker. Don´t just blindly go worker first. Also don´t just blindly send away your own warriors not keeping in mind possible ways your opponent might move in on you. Especially if you don´t have hundreds of games of experience, better be safe then sorry (earning you a place in the Hall of Shame of the league ).

A pretty high level trick (that requires some practice and experience) is to keep the mouse over a warrior in city production screen while the end of the turn approaches, changing the production to a warrior at last second in case an opposing warrior suddenly appears, effectively giving you one more turn of production. Of course for that you cannot go into the city to change produciton, but keep the city bar clicked.

Keeping the city bar open with the mouse over a warrior in order to respond faster to a suddenly appearing unit.

4. Blocking off tiles
In many games you will get warriors and archers into your land. Don´t panic – so far your opponent put early production into building those units, while you potentially made a worker. You are ahead for the time being. The goal is to keep that advantage or not lose too much of it.

Don´t take unnecessary risks by hitting his units with odds of 50 or 60 percent – when a loss results in you being slowed down a lot. Focus on getting your workers to work. Block of tiles so that you can work a food or especially chop a forest, while the opponent has to move around your city + a unit standing next to it in order to be able to hit the tile where the worker is standing on. Build up normally, just spread a couple of archers into your build order. Don´t try to control everything, focus on hooking one food, on being able to consistently chop and on getting metal. Opposing archers and warriors will have a very hard time trying to hit out your archers from forests, especially when you get more units to cover consistently,while his support routes are much longer.

If possible, don´t let the opponent sit on strategic spots. Hill metal is akey target here, another one being forested hills. The last one you cannot always prevent though and on average 2 axes should be able to clear out an archer there.

Most important, try not getting slowed down too much – just get those additional units in order to move and work with your workers and protect a settler for a second city for metal. If your opponent build a couple of warroirs and archers very early and you build a couple more then him, but a little later in the game, the buildup situation should be about the same. Remember that it´s better to manoveur around those units then taking unnecessary risks – though sometimes the situation can be so, that you have no other choice. For example, when the opponent has metal in his capital´s fatcross and will follow those warriors and archers up with axes soon.

5. Odds
When playing under choke, you need to know what you on average require in order to kill a unit sitting in your land on which you probably have bad odds with your first hit.

As a rule of thumb, having around 10% twice should take care of a unit. Meaning if your first archer has 9.9% on an opposing archer, two identical archers should take care of the situation. Don´t count on killing with less then those ~10% twice unless in special circumstances.

In general, try taking advantage of situations where your opponent gives you “good” odds while moving around your land. If he for some reasons moves on a flat tile for example, giving you 40 or 50 percent already with the first unit (example 2 archer vs a protective archer, 2 warrior vs an aggressive warrior etc.) – consider the situation, but in many situations it might be better taking a little risk here, then letting him slow you down more turns until you can hook metal and take a “sure” kill.

I had an opportunity to attend an OBS event last night. It was a short film screening of works by up-and-coming and tenured directors, writers, and producers. I must say that this event is an event that fresh faces should find time to attend.  It was an intimate crowd, maybe 30-40 people, who were all ’somebody to know’ within the industry.

I didn’t realize that so many significant people were going to be at this event, but that’s just a reminder that as an entreprenuer, you must always be on your A-game…because you just never know who you’ll meet.

OBS presented about six short films, which were all very amazing, some shining brighter than others.  My favorite was Akira’s Hip Hop Shop, written and directed by Joe Doughrity. Its a comedic story about the most untraditional interracial couple, a Black woman and a Japanese man, dealing with the social judgement of their friends and family. Every character played an intrical part of the story. It was refreshing to see Asian culture, specifically Japanese, outside of the mainstream stereo-types. It was an amazing piece and the writer Joe Doughrity said its going from short film to feature. So look out for Akira’s Hip Hop Shop..Here’s the trailer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhjxM37-qpk&feature=PlayList&p=5CD790331A9A4202&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=48

My next favorite piece was the shortest of them all: “Choke” written & animated by, Terence Anthony. This short cartoon was laugh-out-loud funny. It could’ve easily been on cartoon network’s, Adult Swim.  Lydia, a Black woman climbing the corporate ladder is almost strangled in her car when her pompous white colleague comes to brag about how he’s on top and she’s never gonna take over..Unbeknownst to him the killer, Max is in the backseat, (with his Palin ‘12 t-shirt (hilarious!) ) and is so annoyed with him and his Yuppie attitude he just decides to Choke the s*** out of him instead; and the strangest conversation emerges thereafter between Lydia and Max. The first question I asked Terence is how the heck did you come up with this concept. It was morbidly hilarious! Its actually playing here: http://www.atom.com/funny_videos/3EFBFFFF01C3BACA001700C6D059/

One thing Terence said when asked why he decided to animate the project himself, “I couldn’t find anyone else who was interested in animating my short…so I just did it myself”–Actors, writers, producers, directors—artist…Don’t wait for networks, agents, managers to do it for you…Get your art out there! People are waiting to hear it, to see it, to experience you and your brilliant talents!

(Terence also has a play “Blood and Thunder” showing at Moving Arts-Hyperion Station…for more info: www.movingarts.org . Also, check out www.orlandosjoint.com –its an animated comedy series by Mr. Anthony aswell!)

If you have a short film and want it screened with OBS or just want to learn more about the organization and be a part of go to : http://www.obswriter.com

OBS’s next event is December 15th from 7pm-1am a screening and holiday party at Ultra Lounge 6039 Washington Blvd, Culver City, CA 90232

I’ll be there, with my business cards and A-game! Hope to see you as well!!

–Ash

At work, I’m currently managing a team in India that is doing our testing. And they’re doing everything possible, I think, to drive me crazy. The shenanigans continued today. *multiple headdesks*

My ankle still hurts. Yesterday, walking up and down stairs was awful; today is better, but not great. I thought I was okay by class time, though, so I didn’t tape it. Wrong answer. Just jogging was too much (it’s my left ankle, and that one was on the inside as we jogged, so more pressure); then side-to-side, ow. Bear crawls, not so great, either. Shrimping, mostly okay as long as I didn’t hit a funky angle. Alligators, okay again; also working very hard to bend my elbows, though it’s currently a two-step process and so takes me a little longer to finish.

Single legs… crap. I usually shoot on my left foot, so that was out. But my right big toe has some kind of turf toe thing going on and doesn’t want to bend, so shooting was painful and slow on that side, but I did it. Then shoot and sprawl… slow shoot on the right, then sprawl onto left forearm and right hand (since left wrist still hurts), but then couldn’t get back to my feet without pushing off my left ankle, and that wasn’t going anywhere. I tried twice, and both times had to scoot back on my butt to the wall. Squat jumps were actually the best tonight; go figure. Hammies and glutes were awake and working, so quads didn’t burn out. Then front rolls; one trip, as usual, because of dizziness.

Rolling. Justin first. Not getting away with anything sloppy, and so not getting anything. Swept and caught; try defense? Nope. Tap. Repeat. The good news is I got caught with fewer of the things I usually fall for, since I actually recognized that I was setting myself up for it; the bad news is I found lots more things to fall for. Oh well.

Then Tim put me with one of the spazzy new guys. (My guys had actually been talking about these two right before class. They’ve come in at least one night, maybe more, probably on Wednesdays. Definitely not guys I want to roll with.) My hips, however, woke up. He tried to just run around my legs, and I chased him around and snagged guard. He — and the other guy, too, though they didn’t come together — both grabbed my wrists to pin my arms down and then dropped all their weight on me when I had them in guard. Yeah, this is fun, no one can move. This first guy apparently has some wrestling background, so he eventually moved on to trying to can-opener me and then break my arm off kimura me from inside my guard. Grr. Escaped from those. He was panting and puffing and straining; I was sighing and slipping around and thinking This is so boring… I hit a scissor sweep finally, which freaked him out. I went with his frantic shoving and back to guard rather than have my other ankle get crushed. I actually was hunting submissions and sweeps, but just couldn’t find any among the tension, jerking, and grunting. Dropped into half guard often, looking to sweep, but he’d freak again and sprawl; that much, he knew how to do.

Then Tim put me with the other new spazzy guy. Really, I think one was plenty. I mean, I know what you want from me, and I’d be glad to give it to you, except I’m banged up and tired so I’m not much good to you right now…. Oh, fine. This guy has no wrestling background, which made him a little easier to deal with, even though he was also tense, jerking, and grunting. He also tried to just run around my guard, and my hips weren’t having it. Also got him in guard; he reached back to break my guard, and I hit that triangle nice and deep and slick. I was feeling nice and so pointed out what he’d done; he remembered for the next minute or two, and then forgot. Did hit a couple of scissor sweeps on him; he tried to spaz from under mount, but didn’t really know how. Again hunting sweeps and submissions, though again was having a hard time finding them, and again moving to half guard. But also again, he was panting and straining, while I was bored.

Hey, looky, I rolled with spazzy new guys and 1) I didn’t panic, 2) I actually tried — and hit! — sweeps, and 3) I actually finished a submission. Yay!! Gold star for me! Now, I didn’t try to push the pace, which I probably could have, but I didn’t want them freaking out even more than they already were, which was plenty. Now if only I could figure out how to strip a grip that goes all the way around my wrist…

Drilling was a choke/shoulder lock, similar to this one (just a different start). We started in reverse scarf hold. Far arm blocks their hip; the elbow comes tight into their armpit. Near arm plants palm down on the mat to block their hip. Switch hips through to north/south and walk around to reverse scarf hold on the other side. Scoop their now-inside arm as you come around and swing your new far-side arm out and around in front of their face, catching their far-side arm with your triceps and dragging it across their face, so their far-side arm is pulled across their face and under their chin. Take that same hand and swim it under their head, diving deep through. Bring your other arm up to the far side of their head; grab the bicep of that arm with the through arm (or grab the forearm, or even gable grip). Squeeze to finish.

We had an odd number for drilling, so I was going to join another pair, when Perry sent in one of the giggling girls to be my partner. She was apparently the only one who had showed up for his class tonight, so he was going to cancel class, and she’d said she’d always wanted to try BJJ, so he sent her in to drill with me. And she giggled. The. Whole. Time. (And Tim made faces at me every time she did, which was making me giggle!) Kind of tried to be light and not so tight on her, because she’s never done this before. She still said I was really tight and heavy. The first time I applied the choke/lock, she said, “Yeah, you got it.” I asked if she meant that as a tap; she said, “Oh! Yes!” so we had a little talk about how to tap. Tim had to come over and walk her through how to do the technique, since she really had no clue (and it’s hard to explain while someone’s sitting on your head). By the end, she was doing it pretty well. And she was covered in my sweat, for which I apologized.

During drilling, in a pair that included the first new guy and a blue belt, the new guy was practicing the move. The blue belt tapped. The guy cranked harder. The blue belt tapped again. The guy cranked harder. The blue belt got mad and escaped the hold and was out for blood; the newbie spazzed. Justin broke it up and told the new guy that he’d come *this* close to getting choked unconscious (if he hadn’t let go when Justin told him to, or if the blue belt had gotten there first), that you let go when your partner taps. Forget an intro class — I think I’d rather whack ‘em all upside the head first.

We went back to rolling, and the girl ran away to sit with Tim. (And to giggle.) Big Tommy first. It’s like trying to sweep a mountain, and that’s when he’s not even trying to have a heavy base. I don’t think I ever got on top or had a sweep. We fought a lot from our knees and sitting as neither of us would concede the bottom.

Tim put me with the second new guy again. (Then again, most of the other choices weren’t so great, either.) Again he mostly held on for dear life. Did get a few more sweeps, but also caught more elbows to the face. Did several things (not sure entirely what) that apparently astonished him; he’d exclaim, “Oh, nice” as I slid past. I did roll my eyes at Tim several times during the roll — Why are you inflicting this on me?! — because I was bored and annoyed. Wanted bump sweep, but he’d slam me back down. From there once hit a scissor sweep to mount, to S-mount, worked for the armbar; he grabbed my fingers and tried to snap them off. While I recovered my fingers, he postured up, but left a triangle sitting there; got it after a bit of work. Nearly through another sweep, my left calf cramped up something awful; had to call out, “Wait, stop, stop!” and massage it out. (Can’t stretch it out because the ankle won’t bend. Ack.) Great, so now my left leg is out of commission, as are both of my wrists (did something to the right one at some point in class), and we’re still rolling. Rest of the round, I was still looking for sweeps and submissions, though.

I thought about saying something to both spazzy new boys. That’s not as good as actually saying something, but it’s a step in the right direction. Guess I should at least mention the illegal stuff before they try it on someone who will rip their arm off first and point out their mistakes later.

I’ll be a good girl and sit out from Open Mat tomorrow to give my ankle, calf, and wrists some time to heal. Then Saturday I’ll have to leave class early for the last home football game of the season. Next week we have a couple of days off for Thanksgiving. I might get some rest eventually. — And whoa, I have a tournament in two weeks!! !! Oh boy…

FighterGirls.com has a new line of grappling shorts called the “Boyfriend Shorts.” They look great, and they’re supposed to be a wider and more relaxed cut, which would be good because all the regular shorts now are a slim cut, which I am not. I ordered a pair on Monday; they came today. And… they’re not so relaxed. Maybe if you ordered two sizes up…? (The site now recommends ordering 1 size up. Which, frankly, defeats the purpose of making a “relaxed” cut. And even one size would make them too long for my short legs.) The pair I ordered from FG a year and a half ago is the best pair of shorts I own, and I keep hoping to find another pair like those. Subsequent pairs, however, have not met expectations, even though I’ve kept them (because I’ve never returned anything (exchanged, yes; returned, no), and because I need another pair of shorts), but these’ll be going back. First time for everything :/

LNF*

• Elephants are the only animals that can’t jump.

• Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

• On average people fear spiders more than they do death.

• Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

• The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.

• Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

• American car horns beep in the tone of F.

• Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

• Barbie’s full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

• On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.

• 7% of Americans will eat McDonalds today.

• All porcupines float in water.

• In Muncie, Indiana, it is illegal to carry fishing tackle in a cemetery.

LNFs on This Day:

1865 – Samuel L. Clemens published “The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County” under the pen name “Mark Twain” in the New York “Saturday Press.”

1928 – The first successful sound-synchronized animated cartoon premiered in New York. It was Walt Disney’s “Steamboat Willie,” starring Mickey Mouse.

1978 – In Jonestown, Guyana, Reverend Jim Jones persuaded his followers to commit suicide by drinking a death potion. Some people were shot to death. 914 cult members were left dead including over 200 children.

1987 – U2 opened for itself by pretending to be a country-rock group called The Dalton Brothers during a concert in Los Angeles

1994 – Cab Calloway died at the age of 86.

*Why LNF? Why Plain White Shirt? Read Rorschach’s Ribs and all will be understood.

Gorgeous weather gone. Cold now. Sad.

I should really get some sleep. Zoned off during a meeting today; was jerked back by someone saying, “…and Leslie’s not paying attention…” Wait, what? … Crap. There’s always tomorrow.

Larger class tonight, 12-14 guys. Little warmup, and once again out of energy quickly. Jogging, lots of jogging. Butt kicks, bear crawls, 20 knees-to-chest, bear crawls, 20 knees-to-chest. On the wall: shrimping, single legs, alligators (one run, but really working to bend my elbows), shoot & sprawl. My sprawl and up is slow because my left wrist is still messed up; dunno what’s wrong, but it hurts lots, right through the middle. Then circled up for pushups with reaching (at the apex of the pushup, reach one arm straight out in front of you, head level, switching sides with every pushup). Then triangle situps with guard pass, and then sit-throughs.

Rolling. Big John. Tim again was saying Good jiu-jitsu, no headhunting. If they just leave it out there, you can take it, but no forcing. Nice clean jiu-jitsu, guys. Right off in his guard and working to break it. Working hard, but nothing came of it except that he swept me a few times. Then working out from under mount, then working out of back mount, then under mount, then from his guard again. Any remaining bits of energy that the warmup didn’t take were leached out here.

Guillaume next. Started out by trying to pull guard; ended up with an open guard most of the round. Trying for sweeps, though realized I had them all wrong later. Bah. Did have one, don’t know what, and ended up on top; kept that most of the rest of the round. Working positions and maintaining positions, though didn’t do so well there. Had a few submissions that he left hanging; set most of them up almost all the way, and then moved on.

Drilling was a continuation from the lapel choke last night, and both things we’ve done before: choke or armbar from mount and bow-and-arrow choke (now that I know its name).

Two more rounds. Grabbed Scott for the first so I could get one round where I could work. He was tight and driving in the whole time. I did manage a hook sweep; nearly came up correctly, though he got his knee in to block me. Hit one switch from under turtle correctly, though came out too far and he got away. Rest of the time, defending and trying to move. Got caught under turtle for a while; tried rolling, tried switching, tried turning in, tried everything I knew to do, and couldn’t get out from under him. He pointed that out later and said I should try the switch and/or should move faster to prevent getting stuck there.

Then rolled with one of the older kids. He came in all spazzy hard and tense, but I felt okay with him. He grabbed and held most of the round. I was trying to set up a couple of sweeps, switching back and forth (slowly, which is as fast as my brain was working); finally hit a scissor sweep (was real purty, too) and got mount. And he went nuts. Shoved me up and rolled to one side, rolling up on my ankle and catching it under him and bending it funny. My ankle said Pop! pop! I said Stop, stop! Rotated it around and played with it for a minute; it might bruise some, but it seemed okay. He looked so heartbroken.

I said I was okay, and we went back to rolling; he was trying very hard not to be so spazzy. Then I saw an opening to go from guard to his back; as I was coming around, he tried to throw his arm out to block my head and ended up elbowing me right in the mouth. My head jerked back and I dropped to the mat. Poor guy was beside himself. I wasn’t bleeding, though, so we got back to it after a moment. I saw an opening for a triangle, so I went for it (kicked him in the back of the head several times; oops, said Sorry); he locked up and held on and pinned my arm on the same side as his free arm, so my hips were just far enough away that I couldn’t lock it up. Tried to switch to an armbar; couldn’t break his grips. Tried an omoplata; still couldn’t break. Switched between those 3 and even tried lapel chokes; couldn’t get him to let go. Tried to transition to anything else & escape, but he just held on and cemented himself to the floor. Tried everything I knew from there; got some things to partially work, but couldn’t ever get good control. We may have ended there, after spending the majority of the round stuck there.

Genre: Satirical

Year of Publication: 2001

The adult industry in Japan ( i.e. porn, glory hole bars, call girls, etc) is the second biggest industry in Japan. That’s right, after building cars the second biggest thing keeping the Japanese economy going is sex. Whether watching, participating, or just sucking some off, sex keeps the second largest economy in the world pumping along. With an industry this big there is bound to be some spill over in Japanese mainstream (non-sex) entertainment. Some of the most popular TV stars in Japan are former porn stars but this article is about spill overs not only into Japanese mainstream but those that go viral over the great Internet.

Panty puller

This was really big around 2004 but I still get it forwarded to me every couple of months. Like the above this is part of porn film that stages these panty attacks around Tokyo with supposedly unsuspecting women.

See through skirts

I see this in my inbox every couple of months; an email saying something like, “Check out the newest fashion trend, see through panties!” With some of these pictures

They of course are fake. As anyone who wears a skirt knows; the skirt will rotate around your body. To have the skirt lined up perfectly with the legs like shown in the pictures would take a hell of lot of coordination between the cameraman and the wearer. But with all the crazy stuff coming out of Japan people see this and accept it thinking, “only in Japan”! As usual with stuff like this you can blame porn. These images are common in cheap porno mags usually with a claim that the magazine has a, “special camera” that shoots through clothes.

Fight to the death

This video is usually titled or edited to make it appear to be a snuff film. While it is a pretty brutal fight it is actually part of a porn film by, Soft On Demand one of the biggest porn companies in Japan. The fight is part of a larger film were the loser of the fight has to … “take it” from all the guys that are half naked around the stage.

List of Japanese Myths Part 1 - Porn Myths

Gorgeous weather. Love.

Small class. Short warmup. Immediately wiped out. Probably should’ve taken a break after this weekend, but I missed my mats. One run on alligators, but trying extra extra hard to bend my elbows more. Quads started to hurt. Squat jumps — forced out both runs, but, ow. Then partnered up for gi drags. Got Justin. Fingers were no good for grips: no strength, plus the skin along the back is raw and the tips are all banged up. Legs were no good for pulling. Last to finish. Quads burning. Then standing guard break partner lifts. Could hardly hold guard from the bottom. On top, quads on fire. Could set it up, but could not lift; usually couldn’t get him off the ground. Grr. Tim called 5 more; I got 2, still wimpy, and then Justin told me to get one good full one and finish. Somehow pulled him off the ground. And then my legs collapsed as soon as I set him down.

Rolling. My legs were no good to me. Hips could move; legs could not. No grips, either. This isn’t going to go well, is it? Tim was calling again for good jiu-jitsu, no head-hunting. So guys who would normally be active hunting a submission — which gives me room to move — were instead slow and tense and heavy, holding me down for an entire round, and me with no extra energy to move them. This was not exciting. Two rounds before drilling, and two rounds after, all the same. Everything pinned down and wrapped up. Exciting.

Annoyed and frustrated. Frustrated that my body won’t cooperate, that my technique was horrible the few moments I could move, that I’m so small and wimpy. Annoyed that no one wanted to play.

Drilling was cross-collar choke from mount. In mount, first pull out their lapels to give yourself room to work. Feed one hand in to the opposite side, rotating your hand so your four fingers are in and your palm faces out; grip there. Use the other hand first to base, if needed. Walk it around to the other side. Come in first with your thumb, getting as deep as possible; you can even lift their head some with your other hand to get in even further. Then grip. Bring the blade of the top arm under their chin. Turn both palms up, keeping your wrists straight, and pull your elbows to your hips while tucking your head alongside theirs (same side as your top hand). If they try to roll you, let them and finish from your guard; it’s even worse.

Sat around to watch some of the guys drill after class.

Names, Names

So, when we learn techniques in class, we’re told, “Today, we’re going to work a gi choke from the mount.” Usually, no names. Just the basic move and from where. So I make up my own names. Until I meet up with someone like Klint this weekend, who explained that that one choke is the bow-and-arrow, or see something like Black Cat Jiu-jitsu’s De la Riva sequence. (The sweep I was struggling to hit this weekend is shown in Part 3.)

I don’t know if it helps or not to know the names of techniques. I do know that on Sunday, at the ref certification course, my “corner” would sometimes tell me to do things and I’d think, I don’t think I know that… Well, I might, actually, but I don’t know it by any name. It’s helpful to know the names in a situation like that, when you need to communicate a technique to someone. I wonder if it slows you down in rolling, if it adds an extra step in the processing. Hmm.

Just not when the Colts need a touchdown! Aaahhhhh!

Choke

Choke is a 2001 novel by American author Chuck Palahniuk.  Woopty Doo.  I will start with that.  I read this 7 years ago on the plane to Japan and had forgotten how crap it is…accidentally read it again out of boredom.

Most of us have either read, watched the movie or at least heard someone else talk about Fight Club.  This is for a good reason.  As a book it was intense and fresh.  As a film it was well done and fun to watch.  It even “Made people think.” or something along those lines.

“Choke” sadly, will make you think about little more than going out and buying a new book to read.

From the very first few pages Palahniuk is being gimmicky and cheap and trying to catch his reader in primitive devices that frankly, he should be above.  Each chapter there after is more of the same, with only a few, very few exceptions.

I am not a big fan of giving full reviews or plot summaries.  I think you should go READ something yourself.  I will say however, just so we can have this conversation here, that essentially the main character is a Med school drop out named Victor.  He works at a colonial re-enactment type theme park…or something.  These chapters are fun, interesting and fresh.  Little else in the book is.  So this guy Victor is emotionally all screwed up (big surprise, anyone else read fight club?) and to deal with everything he goes to “sex addict” meetings in order to pick up chicks.

Lame.

Perhaps Palahniuk was trying to be SHOCKING, but he only succeeds in being gross as he rambles on and on about sex related injuries and STD’s and impacted colons and blah blah blah.  Just gross…gross and dull. Painfully dull.

Through out the whole book it is as if Chucky is trying to stand up and say “Hey look everyone! We are morally decadent!” No shit Chuck.

Wake up and smell the left overs.

Out of five stars I give this 2.5 and thats being kind as I liked Fight club.  Read it if you find yourself either stranded on a desert island, locked up with no other literature in a Japanese prison or just immensely bored.

HEIMLICH MANEUVER
You’re doing wrong.

(“Michael Myers”)

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Tim was in a relaxed mood tonight, so we rolled a lot. Tim kept stressing technique, nice easy jiu-jitsu, control, no headhunting, good jiu-jitsu.

Buddy #1 first. We played. He let me pass several times, and even go to knee-on-belly, before reversing me. I dropped myself in to several triangles, though he let me work out of those. Trying to remember that I know how to pass half guard by going backwards, instead of always trying to drive forward. This round felt good, nice easy jiu-jitsu, good pace.

Steve next. More of the same, though I did have to make all my own passes and escapes. And so I did. Good jiu-jitsu again, and active. He could get my back and his hooks in; I’d get Saulo’s “scoop”; he’d get to mount. Realized later I was dislodging both his hooks, so he was free to move around me; need to let him keep that one to control him.

Big Jesse next, and he let me practice tapping. Kimuras, RNCs, armbars, triangles — lots and lots and lots. He also nearly finished me off with a few body triangles. After a while of losing position straight off, I tried to pull guard; got my legs in place, but couldn’t close my guard! Then tried to fight to the top when we reset, but not much luck there. Did some things decent; did most things not quite well enough. Tim was also rolling this round, so this was a looong round.

We stopped for a water break, and I thought, “Oh well, no one’s getting promoted tonight.” Tim started to have us drill, but then sent us back to find another partner and another roll. I knew then that something was up.

Steve again. Tim’s still repeating no headhunting, nice easy jiu-jitsu, good positions. I nearly had a standing guard pass — couldn’t quite get past, but had all the pieces right.

End of that round, Tim promoted Yoshi the Energizer Bunny to blue belt. He was stunned and could hardly talk straight the rest of class.

Drilling. Sweep from half-guard. Get to your side. With your bottom hand, grip on their pant leg, palm up. The elbow there comes to your hip and stays there. Hips go back so your top foot can hook inside their knee. Bump your hips under as if you’re going to go to X-guard. Instead, do a sit-up toward your hooked knee and drive them that way (where they have no base). You come up on top, holding the pant leg of their far leg and hooking over their near leg. (Be careful of coming up too far and into their half guard!) Transition to side control.

We also worked a variation: once you’ve got them up and floating, kick your free leg around and drop them in your guard. They’ll probably go a little toward the side you were hooking. Hip out and come up to take their back.

Drilled with Steve. Very helpful, since he’s probably the closest to my size, which means that bump over at the beginning is easier to do. I’ve tried it on guys with 50+ lbs on me, and I really have a hard time getting under there unless they first give up the space.

One more roll, with your drilling partner. Hey, there, you look familiar… I finally remembered that we’re rolling gi, and that I can use mine and his. Got my lapel out after being unable to get his out. Didn’t do much with it at first until I got back to guard and managed to trap his arm with it. I want… a pendulum sweep. Had tried it the other night and concluded that my hips hadn’t been out far enough, so focused on that. Took a few tries because I kept messing something up, but did finally get it right and to mount. Squee!

All night long, I was also working that single-under pass. Even had one that went to the inside! Still flaring my elbows, as Jesse pointed out many many times.

Afterward, Tim was saying that while it’s good that we roll hard and aggressive so much, that sometimes you just need an relaxed but active night, to which we all whole-heartedly agreed.

Off tomorrow as usual. Will probably make it to Thursday’s class (will depend on cars — I’ll have turned my rental in at that point), and then taking off for wild & crazy adventures on Friday.

I woke up Sunday and could hardly walk down the stairs — inside of my legs and my hammies, ow. Then later in the day, my arms got in on the soreness. And today, my shoulders and quads joined.

Adam led class tonight. He likes crazy warmups. We did crazy warmups.

And I was done at jogging. Uh oh. This is gonna be a long night. (At least Will and Jesse were feeling it, too.)

Jogging, high knees, butt kicks, side-to-side, alligators… Alligators?! Around. The. Whole. Mat. Crap. Then to bear crawls. That is one tough transition. Then to army crawls. Then I’m a little mixed up. Maybe: circled up, jogging with high knees, sprawling when he called it; eventually stayed down and did mountain climbers; then stayed in that position while, one at a time, ran around the circle and jumped over everyone else. … Yeah, that sounds good.

Somewhere in the alligators/bear crawls, I think, I landed oddly on my left wrist. It was not happy all night. Really not good during the holding position part of that last one. Also, shoulders were really complaining by then.

Then partnered up on the wall, pistol-grip the sleeves, and gi drags. When I got home, the inside of my fingers was all cut and scratched up; it must be from this. An odd number, so I sat out the first rounds and then dragged Will when he was done. I did one trip, and ohemgee so tired. I wanted to stop then, but Adam said, “C’mon, one more,” and the guys started cheering for me. Ack. Must do. Got him down, turned around, and couldn’t get the momentum to get going again; he had to help me by pushing with his legs. So. Tired. Collapsed. Finally got up; legs were shaking.

Rolling. Adam said I could sit out… except, oh, wait, one of the guys can’t roll yet (he had LASIK a few weeks ago), so I’m in. Seriously? I mean, sure, I got technique, but I still at least have to be able to move around.

Rolled with Will. He just swept me around and could do nearly anything he wanted to. He caught something, I can’t remember what. I flopped like a fish all night. So bad. But so tired. I think I had moments of pretending like I could play spider guard, but my legs couldn’t keep up any pressure at all.

On the wall for shrimping.

Then a round with Big Tom. Adam started calling out 30-seconds bursts during the round, where you both went as hard as you could. Erm… yeah, this is all I got. Then at the end, he called out “Submit and done!” Sudden death. Loser owed pushups. Tom wasn’t pressing nearly hard enough; he should’ve finished me much sooner. He’s too nice. He went to catch a kimura and accidentally dropped his elbow in my temple instead. So I didn’t tap out, I nearly got knocked out. We stopped, though.

I think we drilled next. Gi choke from side control. Pull out far lapel; bring it under their arm and behind their head. Come up to knee-on-belly; switch hands on that lapel. (They’ll probably bridge in to you and drop you on your knee next to them.) Reach across with the now free hand and grab on their shoulder. If they didn’t bridge and drop you, drop your knee for yourself back down on the near side, right by their ribs. Pull your elbows to your hips and try to drop all your weight on their face. Walk around a bit toward their head if you need to, to finish.

More rolling. Guillaume first. And… nothing. A few moments of control. Possibly a sweep? I think I mostly flopped on him in half guard. Saw mount for a little bit, but couldn’t finish the armbar. Several other near finishes, but just had no energy or strength for that last bit.

Then we did partner lifts. You start in guard and grip their belt; they grip your lapels. Bring one leg up, then the other, and then lift. 10 each. I could barely hold my guard around Guillaume, and then I could hardly get any lift on him. I could get a good base and pretended I was deadlifting and could feel my muscles straining, but he didn’t budge.

One last round. Got Scotty. More 30-second bursts. He was going harder in those, but still letting me work. So much tired. He said I’d rolled good, but I’m not really sure I what I did, if anything. I think I tried some spider again, though it did nothing for me.

Nearly everyone crawled off the mats, which made me feel a little better. At least it’s not just me thinking that was a hard workout.

Car update: My car is fixed! It’s also still in Philly. But, my best friend, who lives near Richmond, is in North Carolina on a business trip and is coming back this way on Thursday night. And, because she’s super awesome, she volunteered to drive me to Philly to get my car, provided I go back to RVA and spend some time with her on Saturday and Sunday, since we missed that last time. So, if this wild and crazy adventure works out as it should, we’ll drive up on Friday, possibly spend the night with a friend of hers or drive back to Richmond; then she has plans Saturday morning so I’ll go train with Chrissy, leaving us Saturday afternoon/evening together; and then Sunday, church, maybe, followed by more jiu-jitsu. And I hear there are lots of girls coming in for the weekend. Sweet!

New BJJ Instructor, our old one had to quit due to work commitments. Our new instructor is very good from what I’ve seen so far.

We started off working defense against the mount. Keeping our elbows in tight to the body after first being mounted. Then transitioning to controlling the wrist and the near side shoulder, trapping the same side leg and bridge and roll. Upa in other words.

Then we worked a couple of attacks from the mount. Straightening both arms and driving the elbow out first, then dropping into americana, keeping the top elbow close to your partners ear. Drive the elbow up and the wrist back, while staying close to their body. The second attack was a collar choke, pull open the gi and get your hand deep fingers inside, then work your other hand in the other side going under your first arm. Both hands fingers inside the gi, twist your wrists and pull towards you to tighten. When applying this from the mount, shift your weight to the same side as your first hand in. This will block any reverse attempts by your partner. Feel free to use your head as a post from this position.

Next we worked on a post-Upa guard pass. After Upa the man in the guard should control their partners core, by grabbing both sides of the gi with one hand and push down, then control their waist/belt with the other. Step back with one leg opening up your hips, reach the waist/belt controlling hand through your partners crossed legs and separate them, bringing that knee up to your shoulder and reaching that hand through to control their far collar. Keep your arms tight to their body, and drive your weight forward stacking them. This will prevent them from being able to transition to a triangle. Then slowly roll your upper body so your partner’s leg slides off and you’ve passed, control their far arm and settle them down and bring your knee up to guard the danger leg. Person on the bottom should present proper hands once their guard has been passed.

Then we worked on transitioning to mount from side control. L had us use our top controlling arm to reach down and grab their belt controlling one side of your partner’s body with one hand. Guard the danger leg with your other hand and then switch your base and scoot back up into your partner’s armpit taking away all their room. Generally they’ll try to defend by crossing their knee over, just push it away from you and step over the top into mount, scoot forward into their armpits and push down on their head to take away space. Person on bottom should keep their elbows in tight and push away a bit to create space.

After that we worked all three positions, transitioning from upa where we would end up in our partner’s guard, passing that guard, into side control, then transitioning into mount where our partner would start with upa.

Good class.

Clark Gregg es reconocido por su participación en el reparto cómico de The New Adventures of Old Christine, una genial comedia (sitcom) cuya líder es nada más ni nada menos que Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Esta peli está basada en la novela del mismo nombre de Chuck Palahniuk, un reconocido autor del cual soy medio fanático pues tengo casi todas sus obras. Sin embargo Choke no la leí aún.

Es una lástima porque hubiera podido tener muchos más argumentos sobre la peli.

Por ahora, un reparto encabezado por Sam Rockwell y Anjelica Huston (a quienes adoro como artistas) y complementado con Kelly Macdonald quien se está armando una posición fuerte en Hollywood, Brad William Henke reconocido por sus papeles en TV, el pequeño Victor interpretado por Jonah Bobo a quien recordamos por su papel en Zathura y hasta el mismo Gregg en su papel enamorado de una bellísima Bijou Phillips.

En fin, la peli es apenas para dominguiar. Un par de escenas divertidas con desnudos bastante bien logrados para mi gusto, una historia llena de picardía y el desarrollo del personaje perfectamente bien logrado tanto por Rockwell como por Huston. De resto, nada más.

Qué lástima que no haya un desarrollo mejor logrado en la trama, tal vez Gregg deba practicar mucho más, tal vez también es un gran fanático Palahniuk y se dejó llevar pr su entusiasmo, tal vez la novela no sea tan buena, tal vez simplemente tal vez, sea mejor actor cómico que director de pelis.

Tal vez estoy siendo muy duro pero esta es otra peli que no pasa ni raspando.

Came in early to watch the guys spar. Adam, the guy from RAM, was back today and brought a teammate, Caleb, who has a fight in two weeks. So the guys rotated through light rounds with him. Then since they were there, and everyone was dressed out nogi to spar, class ended up being nogi, as well. The one day I don’t bring shorts… *sigh*

Short but intense warmup. Tim pretended to forget about us while we were doing duck walks around the mat. Ooo, not funny. Then some partner stuff — shoot/leapfrog followed by jump-overs (partner on hands and knees, put hands on their shoulder blades, jump from side to side).

Drilling, a choke from the back.

Then rolling, with arbitrary round lengths. I think most were about 10 minutes.

Started with Steve. Right off, he caught a triangle. I must’ve fallen asleep or something; totally didn’t even see it coming. Had a few sweeps in there and got to the top a few times, though couldn’t pass his half guard and would get swept.

Then Justin, and I felt so slow and dumb. I could see most of it coming, but couldn’t do a thing about it. Omoplata, twister, D’Arce (probably, though not sure), and many more. I might have escaped my hips right once and come around to the open side once instead of battering at his defense, but that was all.

Yoshi last, and more D’Arces. I guess I need to ask someone to look at my defense there, because I really thought I was doing it right. Might have had half a pass at one point. Felt like I was always half a step behind again.

On the wall for single legs and alligators. (Maybe one more? Don’t remember.) Then circled up for sit-ups to finish it out.

Big Jesse wanted to do some APC, a version of mini-Cindy. Me, Will, and Justin joined him. 3 pullups, 6 pushups, 9 kettlebells swings, 5 minutes x 3 (1 min break), for rounds. (We just got a new set of kettlebells, so there are a bunch of 20-lbs ones. I used one of those. Justin used the 52+-lb one.) I lost track of rounds real fast, though I know I was going slow. Might have had 5 rounds per 5 min segment, but maybe even less by the last one. I was very tired very quickly.

Have you ever been sitting at home, listening to your stereo and thought “I wonder if this is as good as it gets?” Well, I have. I guess it doesn’t matter much since the idea of what is “best” is different to every ear.

But that hasn’t stopped me from trying! I will say that my amp sounds better than yours. And just to show you I’m not all talk, here is the schematic of my finest design. For those who know, they know this is special. This is my gift to you, the DIY guy with great ears.

If you disagree then tell me why. I don’t want to hear you whine “OH but it uses TUBES they have DISTORTION”. You are an idiot with tin ears. And don’t whine “OH but it only has 1.5 watts, it can’t drive my BOSE” Again, you are an idiot, I’m surprised you can read a schematic.

More appropriate questions would be along the lines of  “How does it sound with 0V bias on the input tube?” Or “Is there any hum with the low DCR power supply?” Or “How big of an improvement are the Silonex optocouplers compared to transformer volume controls, potentiometers or stepped attenuators?”

How can I say that this is the best sounding amp in existence? Well, I can not. I haven’t heard them all yet. But compared to every amp I have heard so far… things look pretty good!

I will add pictures of the build as I have time.

Ordinarily I am especially (or exceptionally) thankful for children on the first few business days after Halloween, when fun-size Butterfingers appear in bulk in our office kitchen.  Sadly, our kitchen is bereft of Butterfingers this year, perhaps because 25 hours of Sunday were available for binging before candy could be pried from plastic pumpkins.  Don’t worry.  I won’t re-enter child-appreciation mode until Girl Scout cookie season, but I needed that extra hour of sleep.

A Saturday Halloween provides the treat of two party nights.  The trick?  Costume concepts that strike me as remarkably clever on Friday seem markedly less clever on Saturday when I see two more of each of them.  This was the case with the Karl Lagerfeld costumes.  For your information, I’m informed that he no longer wears sunglasses.

On Saturday night, I attended KCRW’s masquerade at the Park Plaza Hotel.  The Edward Sharpe set was a highlight, and it was the highlight’s highlight when someone costumed as Alex Ebert, the vocalist, hopped on stage for the soundcheck in blasé fashion (“Check one, two, happy Halloween”), then hopped off moments before the actual Alex Ebert emerged.  I’d sent New York Boy a link to the band’s song “Home” (“Home indeed,” he replied) and devoted Saturday’s performance to recording cellphone video to be dropped in the flirtation well.  The video sounded atrocious and I realized I’d recorded myself, singing along.  Never mind.

I started Sunday at the Hollywood farmers’ market with a couple of friends who are on extended leave from New York.  I mentioned that I have a mild crush on the mushroom guy (attractive, tattoo sleeve, mushrooms!), and recalled the Flight of the Conchords episode in which Bret returns again and again to the pet store but can’t summon the nerve to converse with the cashier.  Each time he leaves with a bag of goldfish (three for the price of two).  Jemaine opens a cupboard in their apartment to reveal a veritable koi pond.  Better mushrooms!  My friends were kind enough to buy some shitakes, and I was forced to reveal that I have no idea how to cook them.  Dating the mushroom guy without cooking mushrooms is like dating the scooter guy at Choke motorcyle shop (who has been recommended) without riding scooters.  Hopeless.

The day was marred when gonebutnotlost failed to return my call.  It was a small but evocative disappointment, magnified by the final fifty pages of Home.  (I won’t tear up everything, but I might tear up a few things.)  When we did trade voicemails, he “totally forgot” to respond.  I formally acknowledge that he is lostandgone.  Thankfully, I have nothing more to say, as words don’t speak to disregard.

Lostandgone maintains a Twitter account of similes.  For the Angelenos:

Like crying into the L.A. River.

*pout*

Not “I got beat up” pout, but “why can I hardly get a decent roll” pout. Gah. Actually, now that I look at it, only the first half were crappy; the second half were actually decent. I think I was just irritated by the first few and by my drilling partner (who was also one of the those rolls).

Warmup. Slow on the down-the-mat drills. Felt tired. Probably shouldn’t be a surprise, since I was out sick last week, sat in a car most of the weekend, stayed up really late on Saturday and didn’t catch up on Sunday, and am just getting back in to things. Still. Missed the second run on alligators and I think one other. And today I was the annoying person who ran straight back down the mats instead of circling to the side out of the way, so guys were trying to avoid me. Sowwy. The side is too far. No energy to get there. I didn’t run in to anyone, though, which someone often does to me. Grr.

Then rolling. Lots and lots of rolling.

First and second, two of the guys near their blue belts. And Tim was here tonight and wasn’t last night, so if he’s gonna promote anyone this week, it’s tonight, so they were rolling for their belts, with me at least. When I’m sitting back on my butt, I don’t consider it good jiu-jitsu if you grab my sleeve and jerk me forward so I fly and land flat on the mat so you can try to take my back. I think that’s muscling, and I don’t much like it. But, that was mostly how any resets seemed to go. Even if I’m pulling back, I got nothing. Grr.

Just tried to shrimp around, and really did try to get to top, though wasn’t there often or for too long. Tried to pass open guards again, and pinning their ankles isn’t working. One of them did, however, actually do decent transitions and didn’t try to muscle submission attempts for as long as usual (that is, until he gets it, even if it takes an entire round of arm-wrestling me. Hint: that means your technique is wrong.). Purposely avoided the pass Buddy and Scott showed me, since it caused one of them to go nuts a week ago. Tried not to threaten much, just defend and move.

Third, new/old guy. Had seen him out of the corner of my eye already, and in several other classes, and did not want to go with him. He rips and holds and slams. And he did. Pfft. Tried to play spider guard several times; he just grabbed around my entire ankle or foot and controlled it. Couldn’t get it back. Such fun, to just be held down, squashed, and manipulated, and there’s not much I can do. Couldn’t do much except escape. Oh, and this will be important later — he tried to rip my head and arms off several times, quite violently.

Then Big Jesse, and could hardly get anything without him letting me, which he did do toward the end, so I did get to practice. He tried kimuras from bottom half guard; that defense from Saulo works really, really well. (Tim was saying after class that Jesse has good and tight kimuras, that once he gets it, you’re done. So if the defense worked, then something must be right.) And then he would sweep me when that didn’t work.

Buddy next. Now we’re talking. He sunk a quick anaconda, complete with a roll-and-a-half, almost right off. (The half roll was for after I actually defended well on the first part. That finished it.) Overall, I felt more active here, and more purposely active — not just moving for the sake of moving, but knowing where I was going or what I was defending. I even attempted the shoulder lock from the seminar, though I didn’t get my trapping arm quite in position before sitting through and he escaped easily.

Last, Adam. He caught several things in there, though I can only remember a gi choke and a kneebar at the moment. Felt better about moving here, too, and even had at least 2 good single-leg sweeps from under turtle: one turning under and through when he defended, and the other taking him backwards. No good came of it for me, though; swept right back over. He got me in his deep half guard once, and I did work for the triangle, though couldn’t get my trapped leg out; that one ended in the kneebar.

With about 5 minutes left in the official class time, we finally got around to drilling. Gi choke from turtle. Your partner is turtled on their knees and elbows. Control both lapels to start with under/under grips, then slide your hand along the lapel closest to you until you hit the end. Pull it out even a little further to get more fabric. Now feed it across their neck to in front of their far shoulder; grab the lapel with your other hand. Slide your inside arm in front of their neck and take the lapel. Even this is tight. Far hand grabs the wrist/sleeve of their far arm and pulls it in and under them to break down their posture. Head goes toward the mat by their head on the far side. Sit your hips through and walk your legs around as if you’re doing a clock choke. Takes a little longer to finish than the clock choke.

Partners: remember that you can tap with your feet.

So, I get stuck with the guy I’d rolled with earlier, who tried to tear me into pieces then. The first thing he says is that he’s uncomfortable choking a girl. I wanted to say he’d tried to snap my neck and rip off my arm earlier; what’s a little controlled choke? Then, he lets me drill it first, except he starts out on his hands and knees and with his weight shifted all the way back so that I’m way off the ground trying to keep my weight on him and yet I have hardly any space to even try it. More like he was sitting on his knees with his hands on the mat in front of his knees. That is not turtle. Grr. When I went to grab his wrist to break his posture, he moved it away so I couldn’t reach it. Grabbed fabric instead and slowly hauled his arm in while pulling good on that far lapel so he’d forget about the arm. Did the choke, and he held out as long as he could before he tapped.

His turn on me, he slammed through the technique, so I just tapped fast. And then, the best part, is he tried to tell me all the things I was doing wrong, when in fact I had done all of them correctly. And then he wanted to make up his own variation on the choke. Grr and Grr.

Thankfully, drilling wasn’t all that long. And there were a few good rolls in there — just enough bleh stuff to put my mood off.

Will take a break tomorrow; I need to head back to the library.

I promised you guys more than just book reviews, but what can I say, I read more books than I finish movies and definitely videogames.  I play them a lot, but it takes me forever to finish.  Anyway, I’m finally keeping that by-line promise.  Here be my first movie review! (They will be much shorter than the book reviews).

Summary:
Vincent had to drop out of medical school to get a full-time job as a colonial reenactor in order to pay the bills to keep his Alzheimer’s mother in a good home for people with mental illness.  To help boost the bank account, he sometimes pretends to choke in fancy restaurants, then sues his rescuers.  Of course, that’s what he goes to meetings for.  He goes to meetings because he’s a sex addict.  When he meets his mother’s new doctor, he starts to question who he really is when he discovers that he might sort of actually like her.

Review:
I admit it.  I have a weakness for movies about legitimately crazy people finding their way through life. Particularly when finding their way involves falling in love.  Although the title implies that Vincent’s scam is the focus of the movie, in fact it is about how his random childhood with his mother and foster families made him who he is today.

For a movie based on a Chuck Palahniuk book, this isn’t very graphic.  Clearly since Vincent’s a sex addict, there are some moderately graphic sex scenes, but there is little violence and the sex is pretty normal.  I’ve seen more disturbing scenes on Entourage.

The acting is good.  It’s nothing mind-blowing, but it’s not bad either.  Setting of the scenes is done quite well.  It feels like the everyday world cranked up a notch.

What makes Choke interesting isn’t the violence shock factor that Fight Club had going for it.  Choke modestly proposes that it’s ok to be a bit crazy–in moderation.  It also dares to suggest that we can be who we decide to be instead of what society says we are as long as we’re aware enough to make that conscious decision.

If you want gratuitous sex from the author who brought us the violence of Fight Club, don’t bother with Choke.  However, if you enjoy movies about the mind and what makes us who we are, give Choke a shot.

3.5 out of 5 stars

Source: Netflix