Until now, we’ve dissected the positions that aim to move the ball up the field, ultimately working toward a touchdown or field goal.  What we’ll discuss today are the men in tight(pant)s who want to avoid this at all costs.  This is known as the defensive unit.  Don’t call it the d-unit though.  That would make you a d-bag.  I’ve been getting some questions about formations: are we going to cover various formations, plays, etc.?  Let’s just say, in a world where I give out “Brownie Points”, identifying and analyzing formations would be “Triple Chocolate Cake Baked from Scratch Points”.  I am happy to include an entry on this topic, but only if I get a sincere interest.  Otherwise, I fear too many eyes would glaze over – even with the promise of chocolate cake.

As I was saying, let’s go through a quick rundown of these defensive positions:

Linebacker (LB): (See: Ray Lewis, Elvis Dumervil, DeMarcus Ware) These guys are basically all-purpose defenders.  They can rush the passer (QB), cover receivers (typically the tight ends) and prevent the rush (RB or FB).  Within the linebacking world, we’ve got two basic varieties:  outside and middle/inside linebackers.  To take things a step further, outside linebackers are divided into strongside and weakside LB’s.  Weakside are charged with covering an open field and, as such, tend to be a bit quicker.  Strongside LB’s are the ones lined up across (the line of scrimmage – are you absorbing these key terms?) from the tight end.  More often than not, strongside linebackers are larger and, fancy this: stronger than their weakside counterparts.  As the name may suggest, inside/middle linebackers stick toward the center of the fracas.  Additionally, the MLB/ILB is in charge of making any necessary adjustments in formation based on what he reads from the offensive lineup.  With this in mind, he’s sometimes referred to as the “defensive quarterback”.  Cute, right?

One fancy football word you’ll want to remember is secondary.  The defensive secondary unit consists of the following three positions:

Cornerback (CB): (See: Charles Woodson, Quentin Jammer, Asante Samuel) CB’s are responsible for covering any pass play.  Various approaches include staying tight on a receiver to prevent any yards after completion, swatting passes to prevent completion, and picking the darn thing off themselves (“picking off” is synonymous with “intercepting”).  Your ideal cornerback is going to be incredibly quick, able to keep pace with even the swiftest of wideouts.

Free Safety (FS): (See: Chris Crocker, Darren Sharper, Ed Reed)  Free safeties thrive on covering deep passes.  Though also charged with covering the rush when necessary, free safeties are spry fellas who keep up when opposing receivers run deep routes.  This position is somewhat similar to the cornerback.

Strong Safety (SS): (See: Troy Polamalu, Bob Sanders, Adrian Wilson)  Strong safeties tend to stick a bit closer to the line of scrimmage, primarily covering running plays and pressuring the quarterback.  That being said, SS’s can be tasked with additional responsibilities depending how the play unfolds.

Below are the positions that encompass the defensive line:

Defensive End (DE): (See: Justin Tuck, Mario Williams, Jevon Kearse)    As the name may suggest, these boys play on either end of the line.  Their main goal is to prevent any movement on the outside of the field.  The DE who moves more fluidly will typically line up on the quarterback’s blind side (right if he is a lefty and vice versa).

Defensive Tackle (DT): (See: Jonathan Babineaux, Pat Williams, Albert Haynesworth) DT’s like to see themselves as QB kryptonite.  They strive to rush the passer, force fumbles and rack up the sacks.  If we’re all on the same page here, I’m sure you can imagine that these fellas line up nose-to-nose with the offensive linemen.

Chris Crocker on ‘Tranny bashing’:

Thats a lie. A biiig lie. I promise. I was just on youtube. XD
So yeah. I had a reason for writing this today, but i forgot about it. Omg i am suuuch a spazz monkey. So i’m just gunna ramble until i remember. =]
This is the second day of my five day weekend. It’s not that interesting. I think its kind of stupid that we only got like one day off for thanksgiving, but we get three off for rememberence day. i dont get it. Like, i know its important. i have people in my family who were in the army, so i get it. but its not very practical. On thanksgiving, we need time off for those big family dinners. But rememeberence day, you dont do anything. so why would we need 3 extra days? I just dont get it.
BTW. We have windows 7 now. It’s really cool, but i’m still getting used to it. Everything loads so much quicker. WE got a new computer a while ago too. I dont really know why. I think my dad just wanted it. So he got it. I get my shopping genes from him. We’re either really stingy or we just buy random shit. XDD
So yeeeah. We have an epic computer now. OMG I REMEMBERED. I WAS GUNNA TALK ABOUT CHRISTMAS PRESENTS. YAAAAY.
Okay. I have no idea what to get ANYBODY. at all. Like, i know ima bake them all cookies, cuz i’m good at it. But i dont know what else to get them. Especially Jessey. Cuz thats just awkward. LOL. Ima make a list of people i have to get things for. lists are good things.

PEOPLE I HAVE TO SPEND MONEY ON.

Shayla- I could just bake her cookies and she’d be fine. but i’ll probably make her an album on facebook or something too.
Jessey- Omg i have no idea. I know he wants chocolate chip cookies, but i have no idea what else. like FUUUUCK. He’s somebody thats really hard to buy shit for. omggg. Maybe like. A new ring? naw. that’d make me all blushi. What abooout… A CD. OMG. it would be perfect. Now i just have to find out who his favourite band is, and everything’ll be fine. YESH. ;D
Airileah- I think… I’ll get her… omg. Wtf can i get leah? Maybeeee… something she could wear. She looves clothes and stuff. I do too. =]
Steven- Steven isnt as pressure-ful. Hes like. my guy best friend other than Jessey. So hmmm. Dont really know. But it’ll be interesting.
Kyrstyn- Lotsa lotsa cookies. And maybe like. A hand-made card. She looves that stuff.
Rebecca- Cookies. Thats all.
Mom- An ornament for the tree. I get her one every year. <3
Dad- I dunna. Prolly a new leather key-chain. The one i got him before is stretching out.
And probably others. Well. I’m not so stressed anymore. Yaaay.
OMG. I JUST REMEMBERED. i let shayla do my eyebrows last night. oh fuuck. Ima go check if they look okay. T__T
ohthankgod. They look fine. Hooo.
anywaaaays. I just bit my mouth open a little. cuz my wisdom tooth is coming in so my gums are swelling up and catching on my cheeks so i bite them. ow. they’re all ripped up. I really should go to the dentists, but i reeealy dont want them to have to take out my wisom teeth. I was there when my sister got hers done and omg when she changed the gauze there was sooo much blood. omg. Yeah, No.
Anywaaaaays. Yeah. Ima go be an otaku now and read manga. Seeee Ya.

                                                             Yers Till The SpazzMonkeys,

                                                                                                 Dawny<3

What Dawny’s Listening To: American Idiot – Greenday
What Dawny’s Eating: A 3 musketeers bar from halloween. =D

I have NEVER agreed with Chris Crocker more than in this video he posted earlier today. The young women who are mocking Rihanna, and the Chris Brown fans who are saying she must have provoked him to hit her are fucking LOSERS and are absolutely disgusting, not to mention ignorant as hell. Regardless of what REALLY happened between the two of them, it wasnt ok to take the situation as far as he did. He’s a grown ass man with millions of dollars he cant be responsible for his own actions?? Rihanna did not ruin his career, his terrible ass teleprompt reading interview did and the decisions HE chose to make that night ruined his career…… Now his lack of creativity and TERRIBLE ASS singles he’s putting out are just finishing off what he already started. A sad as it may be, there are just some people who are not willing to forgive him fow what he did. Thats just the reality of it!

Pretty interesting…

P.S. His eyes are intense, kinda freaking me out.

The Bengals totally blew out the Bears on Sunday night!  The final score was 45-10.  Carson Palmer, Cedric Benson, Leon Hall and Chad Ochocinco all dominated the whole game.   I didn’t just watch the game – I WAS THERE!  There were a ton of Bears fans at Paul Brown Stadium and all of them went home disappointed.

Palmer threw five touchdowns and completed 20 for 24 for 233 yards.  Against the Bears, Palmer finally stepped-up and showed want he can do.  I was glad to see that Palmer and the coaches did not have even one delay of game call.  Palmer was awarded the AFC player of the week for his outstanding performance against the Bears.  The Bears defense put no pressure on Palmer which shows when #9  has all the time in the world he can really hurt you.

Benson has been great all year and I bet the Bears are really mad that they let him go.  #32 showed he can run against every defense in the league by racking up 189 yards in 37 rushes and one touchdown.  The Bears had no idea what was coming at them.  If Benson keeps this up we are going to be in the play-offs and maybe the Super Bowl!

Hall had two picks against Jay Cutler.  The first interception was a big momentum changer.  The ball was tipped by Chris Crocker and caught by Hall.  After the pick, the Bengals quickly scored another touchdown.  Crocker had an interception of his own later in the game.

Ochocinco played an unbelievable game on Sunday.  He ran the right routes and #85 and Palmer hooked up 10 times for 118 yards and two touchdowns.  If Ochocinco keeps catching it like this he will stay Palmer’s favorite receiver.

The Bengals are rockin’ into the by week.  Go Bengals!  Who Dey!

Forget the dog days of summer.  The dog days in the NFL regular season tend to come for several teams in midseason, in October and November.  Currently, several teams are feeling the lethargy, especially the Ravens and Jets.  Both teams have lost three consecutive games after the starting the season 3-0.  The Eagles looked absolutely lost in the loss in Oakland.  Of course, we’ve already seen two noncompetitive weeks (thanks to the bottom quarter of deadweights), but this week we also saw some special duds by the Baltimores and Philadelphias (and even both parts of New York) of the league.  That’s why we don’t assume, even after the first month of the season.

Given the hectic nature of my college schedule, the sluggishness has even caught up to me, but nonetheless, here’s the Week 6 observations:

Baltimore at Minnesota (Vikings 33, Ravens 31)
I had virtually nothing to say for the first quarter plus, thanks to failure by the NFL to broadcast the Giants-Saints game nation-wide.  It’s not like I missed much then, as the game early on was one-sided.
Minnesota’s offense and defense outplayed Baltimore.  Brett Favre had some great protections and easy throws to make, and he took full advantage of his comfort.  Of course, that had to be ruined by the continuous excessive adulation of Favre.  CBS shows Favre standing on the sidelines with his arm folded, and Dan Dierdorf started laughing at how Favre is “having too much fun.”  Puh-lease.  After Minnesota put on their best Cowboys impression (three offsides in one drive) to end the half, things started to warm up.  Baltimore had a terrible first drive in the second half (penalty on the kick return and two runs for a loss sent the Ravens punting quickly), but rebounded to finally get the offense going.  Joe Flacco and Derrick Mason made some spectacular connections on 3rd down.  Meanwhile, Ray Rice warmed on 2nd down in the same drive, as the Ravens got their first touchdown of the game.  After that, the defenses disappared.
Joe Flacco and Ray Rice sparked some impressive long drives as the Vikings’ D fell apart.  Meanwhile, Baltimore couldn’t prevent big plays in the Minnesota counters.  The Ravens allowed plays of 63, 58 and 58 yards (again) after three of their four touchdowns.  Of course, the sheer beastitude of Rice and Flacco got the Ravens a chance to win the game, which Steve Hauschka failed to come through with.
The prospect of this Ravens offense looks very promising.  Flacco and Rice are obvious studs, and the offense line has several young standouts in the making (Jared Gaither, Michael Oher and Ben Grubbs, to start).  Cam Cameron has this offense going in the right place, and Flacco should be able be an elite QB soon.  If the secondary can somehow get back to respectablility, so the defense can wake up (seriously, Frank Walker shouldn’t be covering Sidney Rice, and he cost the Ravens over 100 yards for that), the Ravens should compete again deep into the season.
BTW, did you happen to notice this game continued to air past 4:15?  Did the NFL finally change their end of game broadcasting rules, or was this a BrettFavre exception?

Buffalo at New York (A) (Bills 16, Jets 13 OT)
There’s not much to talk about in this game that’s positive, so I’m first going to talk about Darrelle Revis.  Some of his first-receiver responsibilities so far this season have included Andre Johnson, Randy Moss, Marques Colston and Terrell Owens.  Owens had just one catch for nine yards today.  Colston had 2-33, Moss had 4-24, Johnson had 4-35.  Just a reminder: Revis is the best corner not named Nnamdi Asomugha.
Not for the brutal parts.  Mark Sanchez had a simply terrible day, being very sloppy with the ball (five interceptions).  His last three games have been worse than his first three games, so the downs of an up-and-down rookie season have hurt the boy wonder.  Virtually everybody was quick to judge Sanchez as a stud QB, but there was obviously a lot more for Sanchez to do before he became a very good QB.  That still stands now.  Meanwhile, Bills backup QB Ryan Fitzpatrick didn’t do any better.  Fitzpatrick is obviously limited by his lack of arm, and he doesn’t make for it with timely, accurate throws.  His one good throw was on the TD pass to Evans, as he gave Evans time to get the YAC for the score.  Then there’s players like Dustin Keller, who are obviously struggling.
The overtime was simply brutal.  A missnap on the Jets’ FG attempt led to a baffling throw attempt by Steve Weatherford, a pop up and a duck that could’ve easily been thrown away.  Then there was three interceptions, some false starts and a holding (all in overtime).  Neither team deserved to win this game.

Philadelphia at Oakland (Raiders 13, Eagles 9)
And to continue the brutal nature of just about every Sunday afternoon game broadcasted in my area, the Eagles fall in the most embarrassing upset of the season to date.  The Eagles did nothing right, and they wasted a win that could later haunt them.  First off, there was the 86-YARD TOUCHDOWN PASS TO TIGHT END ZACH MILLER.  Seriously, what attempts at tackling were that?  Next up was the pick six that was called back on a bogus DPI call against Stanford Routt.  (Of course, it doesn’t help Oakland that Cable went off so poorly, added an unsportsmanlike penalty to the DPI.  That type of behavior doesn’t foster a winning attitude.)  Of course, there was still JaMarcus doing his thing for the Raiders.  For a glum example, Russell missed a wide open Louis Murphy on a 4th-and-1 rollout, throwing well short of the mark.  I cannot explain this loss by Philadelphia, and I don’t even think watching NFL Replay or Shortcuts could help me to explain it.
On a funny side note, how about that pigeon playing special teams?  First, he lines up with the team, then he flies along with the Raiders in kickoff coverage!!  I know everybody’s been talking about this, but I made an IMMEDIATE note of this once I saw this.  Check out this FOX coverage.

Chicago at Atlanta (Falcons 21, Bears 14)
The Bears had an awesome start to this game, which is especially impressive considering the SNF venue on the road, but the start was ruined by some untimely Jay Cutler errors.  The defense forced Atlanta with three three-and-outs to start, and the offense moved the ball very well.  On the first drive, the offense gained positive yardage on 10 of its first 11 plays.  Chicago then called a timeout, and Jay Cutler threw an interception on the next play.  The offense finally got a touchdown on its third drive, and then allowed only first down before forcing another Atlanta punt.  However, Cutler threw another interception.  Chicago kept things simple early and really dominated, and they could’ve had at least a two-touchdown lead without Cutler’s mistakes.
After that pick, this game because a game of momentum swings and climactic plays.  The Cutler interception, and an Atlanta TD three plays later, swung the game severely in the Falcons’ favor.  Atlanta later got a major momentum booster in Matt Ryan’s touchdown pass to Tony Gonzalez with four seconds left in the first half.  Atlanta looked ready to put the killing blow after forcing Chicago to punt of its first offensive drive of the second half, but a Matt Ryan INT swung things back towards the Bears’ favor.
In the end, Chicago’s inability to capitalize on its strong start, and Atlanta’s goalline stand in which Matt Forte fumbled on consecutive plays (losing the second fumble), made the difference.  Desmond Clark made some drive-saving catches to get Chicago to the Atlanta 1, but the Bears couldn’t punch it in.  I’m always going to say this, but I’m not sure why teams don’t try on QB sneak for more often in that situation.  The Bears simply couldn’t get full control of the game after the first quarter (for example, they allowed a huge Eric Weems kick return after tying the game at 14), and the offense eventually fell apart on the final drive (three penalties in the final set of downs).

Denver at San Diego (Broncos 34, Chargers 23)
So I learned my lesson.  I went against the gut, listed to the brain and successfully chose Denver to win this game.  After a fireworks display on special teams in the first half, things settled and played out as planned.
To beginning with, Eddie Royal showed some impressive acceleration on his two return touchdowns (one punt and one kick).  Royal’s acceleration generally gets forgotten, due to the savvy route-running and hands he showed as a rookie, but that quickness needs to be accounted for.  Meanwhile, Darren Sproles proved to be the elite returner that he is by responding with a crucial TD of his own.
As for the defense, even though LDT finally showed some life left in his tank, the Denver proved once again to be a shut down unit at crunch time.  The Broncos allowed just three points in the second half, and played shutout ball in the final 22:57.  Denver made another second-half comeback, and once the Broncos got the lead in the second half, they attacked and blitzed until the door was shut on San Diego.  Dumervil had a strip sack and fumble in the drive following the go-ahead TD.  Later, in the Chargers’ final drive, the Broncos literally got pressure on every play, consistenly collapsing the pocket on Philip Rivers.  Again, this defense proved to be elite.
Meanwhile, the Human Horseshoe proved to be the good omen once again.  Another week, and another solid and efficent game for Kyle Orton.  He went 20 of 29 for 229 yards and two touchdowns.  In six games, Orton’s only interception came on an end-of-the-half Hail Mary.  Talk about taking care of the ball.  That go-ahead touchdown pass to Tony Scheffler was simply marvelous.

——————————————————————————————————————–

Sidebar

• Derek Anderson still sucks. That was no first-quarter completions for Derek Anderson.  His first completion came with 10:44 left in the second quarter, on a nine-yard pass to Mohamed Massaquoi.  Remind me, why is this man a starting QB again?  Why do certain teams (even the crappy ones) still fall for the big arm?
• The Chiefs still can’t put up big plays. Ok, I’ll give Kansas City some credit.  They can put up a big play, but not big plays.  That’s six games and a total of six 25+-yard gains by the Chiefs all year (one in each game).  Kansas City’s longest gain of the day was a 32-yard completion to Dwayne Bowe, with 1:42 left to go in the game.  Meanwhile, the longest of the day was just 17 yards.  The team’s longest rush of the season remains Jamaal Charles’ 24-yard scamper in Week 4.  At least Kansas City played an inferior offense and actually got the win this time.  Todd Collins came in for the Redskins at QB, but he quickly faded after getting a 42-yard completion to Santana Moss to start his day.
• Carson Palmer and the Bengals still own inside the two minute warning. This time, the Bengals got their work going within the final two minutes of the first half.  Carson Palmer throws a TD pass, Chris Crocker intercepts a pass and Shayne Graham kicks a 50-yard field goal, giving the Bengals a 17-14 lead at the half.  Too bad they got shut out in the second half.  Give the Texans credit — they still haven’t lost back-to-back games.  Now if they can only put together a winning streak…
• Drew Brees, Kurt Warner and Tom Brady still can look absolutely awesome. We obviously knew Drew Brees is at the top of his game right now, but Sunday’s game was off the charts.  With 5:20 left in the second quarter, Brees is 15 of 17 for 187 yards and three touchdowns, leading the Saints to a 27-10 lead that pretty much set the Giants up for the killing blow.  Considering this happened against one of the best pass rushes in the league, and you have to appreciate what happened.  The Saints are the best team in the league after this trouncing of the Giants, and they already came into the game the most balanced team in the league.  Meanwhile, Kurt Warner started 17 of 19 for 126 yards and a touchdown before the first half two-minute warning.  Warner’s quick starts had led to Arizona’s three wins.  When Warner struggles early, the Cardinals can’t hold on.  Lucky for Arizona that Warner has been on more often than not.  Then, of course, there’s Tom Terrific.  Brady starts 11 of 12 for 179 yards and two TDs as the Patriots go up 24-0.  Then it’s 31-0, then 38-0 and finally 45-0.  By the half, Brady is 24 of 28 for 345 yards and five touchdowns.
• I can still completely dominate at fantasy football. First off, 16 of my first 17 picks are still on the team.  Now for this week’s totals: 18 players, 353.25 points (19.625 per player average), 14 players in double figures (16 with at least nine points), five players with at least 30 points.  I had Darren Sproles and the Chargers D-ST on the bench, and still won by almost 45 points (when my opponent also had five players with at least 30 points).  Week 7 may look even better.
• New England Patriots home game + snow + bad visiting passing defense = TOTAL DOMINATION. And I thought last year’s 47-7 beat down of the Cardinals in Week 16 was bad.  Yesterday’s win makes it a 106-7 score, 59-17 first down advantage, 1133-372 yard advantage (186 yards allowed each game) and +7 TO margin in the Pats’ last two home games in the snow.  Yikes.

O título do post tem haver com uma frase que ficou muito famosa na época do retorno [desastroso] de Britney Spears aos palcos, quando a cantora fez sua primeira apresentação depois dos problemas e escândalos na vida dela, no VMA 2007. Após sua performance, muitos comentários maldosos caíram sobre a pobre moça, principalmente pela mídia, por estar… hmmm… fora de forma e sem ritmo ao dançar “Gimme More”. Então, eis que surge Chris Crocker para defendê-la das perversas críticas [e diga-se de passagem, para chamar atenção].
Chris postou um vídeo em seu canal no youtube entitulado “Leave Britney Alone“, que já foi acessado mais de 27460245 até hoje. O vídeo é tão engraçado e fez tanto sucesso que fizeram várias paródias, como sobre Michael Jackson e até Steve Jobs, além de uma para o próprio Chris Crocker.

Mas o que vim mesmo falar aqui é sobre algo que me deixa com o sangue fervendo!
Com a febre que se tornou a série Crepúsculo, surgiu de bônus uma obsessão pelos atores Robert Pattinson e Kristen Stewart como um casal fora das telas, da parte tanto dos fãs da série/atores, quanto da mídia. Minha raiva não é pelos fãs, porque também sou uma fã louca que ficaria super feliz se fosse confirmado que Robsten existe mesmo. Mas a mídia, que sabe dessa obsessão por parte dos fãs, quer lucrar em cima de mentiras deslavadas e absurdas!
A algum tempo venho notando as revistas estamparem “manchetes bombásticas” sobre Robsten, mas uma em especial me faz rir do modo como trata os “fãnáticos” por Crepúsculo, a OK! Magazine. A primeira vez que reparei no modo totalmente idiota como a OK! quer vender usando o Rob e a Kristen foi numa edição passada que não lembro no momento o número (mas tem um monte mesmo!). Mas para mim a gota d’água foi a edição 43, que sairá dia 26 de outubro. A capa diz:

Rob & Kristen
‘Nós já somos como marido e mulher’
DENTRO DE NOSSO LAR
* Fotos exclusivas de nosso apartamento em Vancouver
* Como nós passamos nosso tempo juntos – tocando violão, ouvindo Rolling Stones, e até fazendo comida caseira
* Todos os detalhes íntimos sobre a nossa vida em casa.

Fonte: Foforks
¬¬
Fala sério!! Mesmo que fosse verdade que os dois estão juntos, eles não são do tipo que mostram a intimidade deles assim, muito menos como um casal.
Não imagino a Kristen com cara de bobinha tímida apaixonada abrindo a porta da casa e dizendo para os repórteres: “Entrem, fiquem a vontade, esse é nosso cantinho de amor…” indo em direção ao seu amorzinho [sendo ele o Rob ou não] pra ficar abraçadinha, para então começarem a dar “detalhes íntimos” da vida deles – porque é essa a imagem que vem na minha cabeça quando leio essa manchete.
Uahahaha. Quero só ver os scans dessa revista, principalmente as “fotos exclusivas” do tal apartamento em Vancouver – e se eles estarão ou não nessas fotos.

Mas o fato é: eles sendo ou não um casal na vida real, deixem eles em paz suas revistinhas de fofocas baratas que não tem mais o que fazer e ficam enchendo essas revistas com fofocas mentirosas e sem fundamento! #respiraerelaxa O problema é deles, e só deles, se estão ou não juntos! (Na verdade, não seria um problema pra Kristen, e sim uma grande sorte!^^)

E então é isso. Beijo para todos e até logo.

It can’t be denied that YouTube is an excellent tool for promotion, whether you are a person seeking recognition, or looking to maintain your fame. But the way that it’s used varies, depending on its purpose. Already established recording artists like Miley Cyrus and Demi Lovato use their YouTube channels as a means to communicate with fans, keep them updated on their activities, and release their music videos. This enables them to maintain their fanbase, reflecting an understanding of the importance of ‘connecting with fans’ (as Quincy so eloquently rants about here). On the other hand, a ‘YouTube celebrity’, such as Chris Crocker, is a strong example of how useful YouTube is for self promotion, particularly for ‘ordinary’ and ‘undiscovered’ individuals. He has used YouTube as a launching pad for his budding career as a reality star, blogger and recording artist, by establishing and expanding a fan base, and relating with them through his MySpace and newly launched website, MsChrisCrocker.com.

Chris Crocker, otherwise known as “Britney Guy” (if you don’t already know why, you’ll find out in a sec), had already developed a cult following amongst the GLBT community by posting vlogs, mostly about his predicament as a confident, out gay teenager in a strongly homophobic, southern town. But his fanbase and subscriber numbers grew after his video “Leave Britney Alone” went viral.

From then on, he was approached by MTV to do a video and another network to film a reality show. Chris also launched his own website containing photos, videos, a biography, blog and member-access content and is currently working on developing a music career. He is currently a partner on YouTube, and has reached over 260, 000 subscribers. He manages to continue to score a high number of hits (some videos reaching the millions) by using the same tag of ‘chris crocker’ throughout all his videos, and capitalises on the viral nature of his “Leave Britney Alone” video by using the tag ‘leave britney alone’ on many of his other unrelated videos, so that it will appear as a ‘related video’ to the original; therefore drawing more hits to his other videos and possibly heightening his number of subscribers. Are you getting all this?

If I didn’t spend half my life on the internet, I’d say he was just a lucky guy – but he isn’t the only one this has happened to.

Ok, so there’s this article on MSNBC talking about Megan Fox, and in his article the guy seems to imply that Angelina Jolie has talent, and that Megan Fox isn’t as Talented as Jolie.

Now, I will admit that I don’t know how much talent this Megan Fox chick has, because I have honestly not seen anything she’s been in. I did start to watch Transformers, but I fell asleep, because the movie was boring as hell. So, anway, I don’t know who the hell she is! What I do know however, is that “Angelina Jolie” does not have ANY talent as far as I am concerned. I firmly believe she is the most untalented actresses I have ever seen! I have also seen trouts that I thought were more talented than Jolie for christs sake, and I also think she is simply an attention whore. I believe that she is SO fixated on being in the medias eye, that she will do anything to stay in it.

So, I really don’t think Megan Fox could be any less talented than jolie. If she is, then thats just scary…In my opinion anyway.

Ok, now I know theres a lot of jolie fanboys having heart spasms as they read this blog entry shouting at there monitor “Leave Jolie alone!!!!!!” in a fasion not unlike Chris Crocker and his Britney break-down! To those who are majorly upset, I say to you this…Get over it. You’ll be alright in the morning. Not everyone in the world is going to like your idol. It’s a fact of life, and accepting that is a part of growing up.

Baimurat Allaberiyev – a YouTube sensation – has a major record deal but still has few teeth, literally. And those teeth are planted on the cutting edge of the latest boom-and-bust trend in the music industry: viral-video microfame.

So, let’s get real about the sobering statistics of enduring Web 2.0 success among music artists. To that end, I will explore the verities of the viral-video trend.

But first, this exploration is not meant as a discouragement. It’s simply a reality check. Like a sound check, it gets us in tune, so we can perform at our best. And, as with the old industry, the new music model presents real, if limited, opportunities for enduring success. So, as in the past, the motivation for the serious artist is the very challenge of the overwhelming game itself.

Now, back to Allaberiyev, a former sheepherder from Russia who sang renditions of Bollywood songs all the day long, not unlike early American blues singers who chanted field hollers while picking cotton in the South. Some traditions never die.

Writing in Friday’s New York Times, Ellen Barry, tells how one of Allaberiyev’s signature performances was captured on videophone, eventually making it to YouTube and viral nirvana. But, while this music 2.0 fame led to a record deal with Peter Gabriel’s Real World Records in London, his manager Ilya Bortnyuk offers the sober summation:

“If there will be disappointment, it’s no big deal. It’s show business. There is glamour; there is disappointment. No big deal. I’m used to it after 20 years.”

Barry goes on to cite examples of viral video flameouts like Tay Zonday and Chris Crocker. She quotes Bill Wasik, author of a new book on viral video and Internet celebrity:

“Virtually all of them have found it hard to parlay the experience into a lasting career… Even a short ride is a kind of gift.”

Allaberiyev’s challenge: his charisma must translate into U.S. sales, since world music doesn’t sell in Russia, the environs of his initial following. Because Bollywood show tunes won’t do the trick, his handlers plan on transitioning his repertoire to Afghan and Central Asian folk songs. So, does the man on what feels like the top now find himself with another uphill climb? Certainly. Does he feel like Sisyphus? Yes. Haven’t we all? Yet, that should serve to raise the fighter mojo in him even more. Let’s face it; only heavyweights will win at this game. It’s the same in the new model as it was in the old. Some traditions never die.

And to rally Allaberiyev (also known as Tajik Jimmy), one of his supporters, Yelena Mirzoyeva, has this encouragement:

“A person that feels he is a star; that person will really go somewhere.”

Wasik himself recently penned a New York Times Op-Ed piece making a case for the Internet as the new New York for aspiring artists. He compares making it in Gotham with getting “the big break” on the Internet. The article weighs in with sobering data, which in the end, appear no better than the old music-biz model.

A senior editor at Harper’s and author of “And Then There’s This: How Stories Live and Die in Viral Culture,” Wasik discusses the recently depressed prospects for artists seeking fortune in the Big Apple, and turns his gaze to the Internet, saying:

“Meanwhile, another destination beckons, a place that courses with all the raw ambition and creative energy that the hard times seem to have drained from New York. I am referring, of course, to the Internet, which over the past decade has slowly become the de facto heart of American culture: the public space in which our most influential conversations transpire, in which our new celebrities are discovered and touted, in which fans are won and careers made.”

He cites such Web successes as the The Gregory Brothers, whose humorous YouTube series “Auto-Tune the News” has drawn hundreds of thousands of fans.

But, in the end, Wasik also concludes:

“Microcelebrity is now the rule, with respect not only to the size of one’s fan base but also to the duration of its love. Believe it or not, the Internet is a tougher town than New York; fewer people make it here (New York), but no one there (the Internet) seems to make it for long.”

As I follow the limited cases of significant Internet success, Bon Iver comes to the fore. Yet, keep in mind that his notoriety was spawned from a combination of both viral and print-media attention, including the Wall Street Journal, with one rolling into the other. Some traditions – in this case, PR-wise – never die.

So what statistical sobriety supplies us artists is the tired-but-true principle: the path to success is fraught with frustration and limitation. Same in the new model as it was in the old. So, buckle up, batton down and stay the course. The meek may inherit the earth, but they won’t star in the movie version.

10. Carson Palmer’s eerie prediction that someone will die in an NFL game is something I have believed in for quite some time. (If you’re confused, check out the current NFL preview issue of Sports Illustrated) With all the near-paralyzing injuries that occur each year, it is only inevitable that someone will meet their end in a game. Then – who knows what the hell is going to happen. Nothing pains me more than to agree on anything Carson Palmer says, but unfortunately, I think he’s right on this one. Sucks.

Bring out your dead!!

9. Reason #5,973 why Al Davis has lost his mind and the Raiders are the laughing stock of the NFL: Trading away their 2011 first round pick for aging Patriot Richard Seymour. Now, I’m not saying the guy isn’t a good player, but why give up a first rounder in any draft for a player over 30? And it’s only inevitable this gives the Pats a top ten pick, with the Raiders sucking every year, so do we really need the rich getting richer? No, we don’t. Thanks Al.

8. Reason #79,372 why Peter King is an idiot: He doesn’t have the Eagles making the playoffs this year. That’s WITH McNabb and Mike Vick ON THE SAME TEAM. A rational fan tweeted King this week – “when did you become a comedian?” King’s response: “Green Bay came alive this preseason.” Now, of course they did, and I have no doubt the Pack will return to the playoffs this year, but not on the expense of bumping the Eagles out of it. Wrong team to pick there, Peter. Here’s some advice if you’re in an office football pick ‘em pool – look at King’s weekly game picks, and do the opposite. You’re sure to win a few weeks if you do that.

7. Jerry Jones has won the battle, for now, over his low-hanging scoreboard. This is what happens when you try and step up to a Boss – defeat and retreat. Of course, this all depends on the number of punts hit into his scoreboard as the season goes on, but for now, to the victor goes the spoils.

6. Three offensive coordinators getting fired before the season even starts is indicative that offense, not defense, wins championships these days. Sure, the Steelers have always had a stellar D, but I believe it was their offense – Big Ben making the throws down the stretch and a spectacular catch from Santonio Holmes – that helped win them the big game last year. You need a good D, make no mistake about it, but was it the Patriots D, or their high-flying O, that led them to a 16-0 season in 2007? Was it the Giants D that caused the upset in the Super Bowl against the Pats, or was it Eli Manning coming through in the clutch and the spectacular David Tyree catch that did it? You all know the answer. Powerful offense = wins, it’s just the way it is now.

5. I still can’t stand Warren Sapp.

4. You know you’re playing with weak fantasy football players when they start drafting kickers in the fourth and fifth rounds. Happened in a draft I had yesterday. Fair enough, leaves better players on the board when my turn comes around.

3. The Raiders cut Jeff Garcia this week. At long last, I think we can consider his career done. None too soon. That guy stuck around waaaaaay too long. How many passes at receiver’s feet were we going to have to endure? Once you’re cut by the Raiders, I think it’s pretty safe to say it – your career is over. Hell, Charlie Frye beat him out. That’s just adding insult to injury.

2. Hard Knocks highlight of the week: Bengals owner Mike Brown looking less than pleased when first round pick Andre Smith came strolling into his office. To say the owner had less than 2% enthusiasm when he finally signed is an understatement. Smith has BUST written all over him. It wouldn’t be the first, nor certainly the last, time the Bengals used their first round pick on a bust.

1. As Chris Crocker says – “If you want some, come get some.” Start the season already!

Titans @ Steelers

Steeler fans will continue to look retarded in front of a national audience, while Titan fans pray Kerry Collins does not get injured. Winner: Steelers

Dolphins @ Falcons

Falcon fans don’t mind their QB having two first names as Dolphin fans come to grips with the fact that being a Cinderella team the previous year has consequences on the current one. Winner: Falcons

Jaguars @ Colts

No Dungy, No Problem. Will David Garrard ever get to host SNL? Winner: Colts

Hey Lorne, I can be funny too!

Vikings @ Browns

Mangini, who hates both his QB’s, faces the previous QB he used to hate, Brett Favre-beans. Eric should learn to hate less; he’d sleep better at night. Winner: Vikings

Cowboys @ Bucs

If a cowboy had to fight a pirate, who would win? In real life – probably the pirate. In the world of football – a cowboy. Winner: Cowboys

Jets @ Texans

Battle of the least fear-inspiring nicknames in all the NFL. Does a jet or a “Texan” strike fear into the hearts of anyone? Only if you’re an Iraqi while Bush was president. Winner: Texans.

Chiefs @ Ravens

Let’s see…Cassel, without Moss and Welker backing him up, has to play against the Ravens D. Not hard to call. Winner: Ravens

Broncos @ Bengals

All Bengals safety Chris Crocker has to do before the game is get into Kyle Orton’s face and say, “If you want some, come get some.” Orton will easily choke. So will his team. Winner: Bengals

Lions @ Saints

First Lions auto-pick is in. Winner: Saints

Eagles @ Panthers

Every time I watch Carolina, I feel like I am watching a high school team. Not because they are bad, per se, but just because of their uniforms and name. Panthers – can be found at any high school, at any town. Winner: Eagles

Redskins @ Giants

My assertion that the Giants poop their pants this year begins now. If I’m right, I demand mad props. Winner: Redskins

Rams @ Seahawks

Two comeback teams of the year. Their re-match later this year ought to prove more interesting. For now…Winner: Seahawks

49ers @ Cardinals

That’s a lot of red you’re subjecting your eyes to if you watch this game. Also a lot of awesome receivers going against a lot of crappy ones. Easy pick. Winner: Cardinals

Bears @ Packers

Game of the week. I love me some Cutler and some Rodgers. When it could go either way, stick with the home team. Winner: Packers

Bills @ Patriots

The original 81 vs. the new 81. Remember when TO said that two years ago? Man, those were the good ol’ days. Winner: Patriots

Chargers @ Raiders

First Raider auto-pick of the year is in. Winner: Chargers

While I was foolin’ around on Youtube, I ran into this “gem” of a video.  Our favorite Britney-loving “girl”-friend, Chris Crocker, strolling around Wal-Mart at 4 a.m with a little “Captain” in him….

I did laugh, but this video is so ghetto…What better place to show it than here?

This is a very funny video that I found last year, it is a parody and a comedic skit mixing Chris Crocker and Britney Spears, giving it a funny twist. This was made by Emanuel Rey, a very good comedian.

Check out his YouTube channel here and for the Spanish version here.

Complete Track List with timecodes:

Billie Jean (Michael Jackson) | Jizz in my pants (Lonely Island) - 0:19 | Wannabe (Spice Girls) - 0:23 | Mario Kart Love Song (Sam Hart) - 0:39 | Over the Rainbow (Judy Garland) - 0:50 | Girlfriend (Avril Lavigne) - 1:00 | No woman no cry (Bob Marley) - 1:12 | Never gonna give you up (Rick Astley) - 1:16 | Harder, better, faster, stronger (Daft Punk) - 1:34 | White&Nerdy (Weird Al Yankovic) - 2:03 | Tribute (Tenacious D) - 2:18 | Numa Numa/Dragostea din tei (O-Zone) - 2:28 | Angry video game nerd (Rolfe & Justin) - 2:42 | Mamma Mia (ABBA) - 3:03 | Smoke on the water (Deep Purple) - 3:37 | A whole new world (Disney) - 3:59 | Let it Be (The Beatles) - 4:14 | Eye of the tiger (Survivor) - 4:26 | Leave Britney Alone (Me / Chris Crocker) - 4:45 | Thunderstruck (AC/DC) - 5:02 | Feel good inc. (Gorillaz) - 5:15 | Metropolis (Dream Theater) - 5:30 | Pokemon Theme - 5:48 | Through the fire and flames (Dragonforce) - 6:00 | Chocolate Rain (Tay Zonday) - 6:09 | Listen to your heart (Roxette) - 6:22 | Hips Don’t Lie (Shakira) - 6:31 | Killer Queen (Queen) - 6:38 | Time is running out (Muse) - 6:55 | When you say nothing at all (Ronan Keating) - 7:14 | Road Trippin’ (Red Hot Chili Peppers) - 7:24 | Power Rangers Theme - 7:33

There is a fair bit of swearing in this.  An olde but a goode