I don’t carry many family traditions, but our Christmas celebrations have turned from annual routine to cherished memories, recreated each year. A soundtrack plays along with the season, songs linked with history, each fondly retold between each other. Here are just a few

I think if there is a child who was not sung this in a school choir at Christmas, they have missed out a small piece of Christmas. Recently, I got to accompany my friend’s choir in a school on guitar with this song, bringing all those memories flooding back.

When I was a child, my sister, my mother and I would make the annual trip to Blackpool to see the illuminations along the front. On the front was a massive building turned into some type of indoor market. One year, there was a CD and tape store. Both me and my sister bought a cassette with Christmas songs on it. Kim’s were all carols (she wasn’t best pleased), and mine was all pop songs. On it was this, and every year, this tape became the thing we listened to as we travelled to Blackpool. This song was on it, and became something of a favourite. Maybe just because it was a bit more dramatic than the rest.

Two weeks ago I walked to the WDM, a 45 minute walk from my apartment. The day was brisk, Fall-like; I stayed out all morning. A quick walk there and a leisurely hour-long stroll back home.

It was a perfect day.

Now, all this last week and half-way into  next week, it is and will be so damn cold.

As Chris De Burgh sings:

Tonight there’s a band, it ain’t such a bad one,
Play me a song, don’t make it a sad one,
I can’t even talk to these Russian girls,
The beer is lousy and the food is worse,
And it’s so damn cold, yes it’s so damn cold,
I know it’s hard to believe,
But I haven’t been warm for a week;

Yes, I haven’t been warm for a week. I walk everywhere so outside is cold; my apartment has base heaters that go up to 5 (no idea what my indoor temperature is but I have two outside walls and my couch sits alongside one of them) and work has not gone over 66 F all week – we’re a non-profit and currently need a new furnace.

This weekend, I made homemade chicken soup (yum) and now I have a small layer of ice inside on my windows.

The worst parts of Canadian Winters are the cold snaps. It feels like everything is frozen enough to break in half; me included.

Outside is dark and dreary!

Okay, I lie. The sun did shine yesterday and today for a few hours. From Noon until three if I remember correctly. And, I was lucky – I didn’t have to leave the apartment all weekend so I stayed safe from the vicious wind chill created by Old Man Winter and Jack Frost. At least the fishes are inside, away from icy habitats, and staying warm.

There were some lovely Holiday trees at the WDM when I was there as they were hosting the 2009 Festival of Trees.

Below are my two favourites:

Diggin’ in for Christmas was designed by Zenia Dziadyk, Stephanie Baliski and Brenda Ackerman. I love that they used the Danger and Caution tape to make bows. It would be a perfect tree for a little one enthralled with construction, and what under eight year old is not!

A Contractor’s Christmas was designed by Gail Allan, Sherry Klein and Brenda Hesje. Look at the tiny construction hats and Santa’s blue hammer. I love this. A great tree for your favourite do it yourselfer; Mike Holmes perhaps.

I leave you with Christmas oranges, a good stiff drink (vodka is my 1st choice) to warm you up and moonlight. The moon is bright tonight and when it is this cold the stars appear crisp and sparkly. Sometimes, Winter is not so horrid after all (now if only I didn’t have to go to work next week).

I had the absolute privilege of witnessing one of the greatest shows in the history of entertainment a couple of weeks ago. If you didn’t see it on BBC earlier this year, if you weren’t at the o2 for the show, you simply must buy the DVD of Bill Bailey’s “Remarkable Guide To The Orchestra”. And even then, I pity you, for you won’t have the full experience of a work of comedic and musical genius.

I had never been to the newly-renovated Point Depot before the gig on November 21st and what a wonderful night to choose to make my debut visit. The concept for this show originated with Bailey and Oscar-winning composer Anne Dudley. They decided that it was time for the orchestra to lose its mystique. Audiences who may never have attended an orchestral concert before would witness this conglomeration of instruments having its inner parts ripped out and laid on the garage floor to be examined wittily and intelligently.

The result of all this was an extremely funny show, a display of musical dexterity seldom seen in a mainstream show and a stunning piece of clever comedy. Bailey did exactly what he promised, guiding us through the different instruments, showing us how we know a villain (alto clarinet) from a hero (muted trumpets), why bassoonists love the Beegees, why the harp is both soothing and scary and how a haunted house can be created simply using the rhythm section. Along the way we were treated to such gems as a musical journey through a typical 70s cop show, a spoof Chris de Burgh song and a Cockney-ised William Tell overture.

Bailey is a comedian almost universally admired. His rambling style of delivery belies a fierce intelligence – his regular appearances on QI (of which, more later) display his wide general knowledge and an understanding of philosophy which flavours his stand-up. He isn’t afraid to treat his audience with perhaps far more respect than they deserve. His musical prowess allows him to perform and speak with authority on music, explaining exactly WHY we know that tune, that chord, that sound. This show seeks laughs but also shows due appreciation of the abilities of the orchestra (on this night in question, the RTE Concert): The piece demonstrating why the theremin conjures up images of the jellyfish and the rendition of Saint Saen’s “The Swan” on Alpine bells are both funny, but also display musical virtuosity worthy of the thunderous applause accompanying the gales of laughter.

Prior to the Bailey show, I also attended Stewart Lee’s show in Vicar Street. Lee is one of the most brilliant comedians on the circuit, author of “Jerry Springer: The Opera” and someone who, if you don’t get him, will probably appear very unfunny. His delivery is largely low-key, except for the occasional strategic outburst, railing against Top Gear or Bulmers. He repeats words, phrases, motifs. He announces before the show begins what his topics will be and what the final punchline of the show will be. He takes the most circuitous route possible to the end of a fictional story about his schoolboy friendship with Richard “The Hamster” Hammond. He eventually meanders into the audience, clambers onto tables, dispenses with his mic and breaks down the barrier between comedian and crowd.

What Stewart Lee does, in essence, is deconstructs the entire conventions of stand-up and forces the spectator to look at why exactly they are laughing. How can the same phrase repeated several times be so funny? How can a comedian with no jokes make our sides split? How can such un-punchliney delivery leave us exhausted from laughter? One could write a quite academic essay on the post-modernist approach to comedy of Stewart Lee. He is, like Bailey, a clever comedian.

This Tuesday I’m going to the O2 in Dublin to see another comedy legend – Eddie Izzard. Anyone who has seen him perform stand-up in French will know what an audacious, cerebral and downright funny performer he is. How can someone get away with stand-up in a language alien to his audience? What about the eloquence of Dylan Moran’s nihilistic outlook? Can a comedy-going crowd be expected to hang on every one of his deftly-crafted words? Equally, some may wonder at the success of QI – it is essentially a programme which requires comedians to be smart and asks impossible quiz questions.

It is proof, as this blog entry is intended to show, that people LIKE brainy humour. Sometimes comedy is dumbed down to a man being sweary - one needn’t look much farther than Frankie Boyle’s “SHOCK HORROR” style for evidence of this. Other times it is just a bit too silly – Al Murray plays a silly stereotype with little in terms of “freshness”. And even the great storytellers like Billy Connelly and early Tommy Tiernan, or observationalists like Rhod Gilbert and Russell Howard, sometimes seem all a bit alike. But there is no substitute for a comedian giving those who pay good money to attend his or her gig a bit of credit – why should someone who is clever play the fool? Full marks to Bill Bailey for bringing high art to the level of high comedy.

Then again, old people swearing and a child riding his bike into a tree are always funny…

The Arabic above his name actually says ‘talentless fuckwad’ but let’s not tell him that, eh?

I had to drive to the Forest of Dean and back today – about a 200 mile round trip – to see my grandson’s school production.  As Mrs Shark was laid low with a nasty bout of Meniere’s vertigo I went on my own, with just Radio 2 for company.

So, there I was, driving across the rather foggy Cotswolds – a most beautiful part of England when you can see it – when a Chris de Burgh track came on the radio.

No, it wasn’t that execrable dribble of dogwank ‘The Lady in Red’, but an equally odious squirt of arse gravy called ‘Shit for Sure’, although as the song went on I realised he was singing ‘Ship to Shore’ which seemed rather less fitting as the song ground on to its turgid conclusion.

As you can tell, I loathe Chris de Burgh with a passion; and for several reasons:

• His voice – pitched midway between the bleat of a newly-castrated billy goat and the off-key warbling of a tenth-rate nightclub singer…
• His lyrics – on the surface full of metaphor and deep meaning but underneath just adolescent flatulence…
• His music – predictable hack work with chord changes that a 5 year-old could predict and a 6 year old could write…
• His hair – a style rooted in the 70s and just long enough to make him look a bit trendy in a nerdy ‘groovy teacher’ way but not so long as to offend – give me fucking Lemmy anytime…
• His eyebrows – like two excessively hirsute voles frozen in the act of some sort of desperate kamikaze leap into oblivion, having decided that listening to his mewling pap has strayed just a bit too far into the realm of the un-fucking-bearable…

For fuck’s sake, if you want to listen to MOR-ish pop sung by a male singer-songwriter, there are people with talent around like Chris Rea who also plays a mean slide guitar and at least strays outside the formulaic.

Or Al Stewart – great narrative lyrics, fantastic music and great taste in session musicians.

Or go back to the greats like Sinatra.

Or even Paul McCartney, who mines a rich seam of regurgitated Beatles songs and increasingly dull originals year after fucking year.

Anyone, in fact, whose voice doesn’t sound as if they decided to apply ‘Deep Heat’ to their scrotum after blowtorching the skin off it.

The talentless wimp de Burgh makes grandiose-sounding ‘music’ for people who don’t like music and wouldn’t recognise it even if bit them in the fucking arse.

Bleating cunt.

Yes, I’m bound to have offended his many fans and he’s still very popular – in spite of having scored fuck-all success in recent years – but that doesn’t mean he’s any good.

Pot Noodles sell well and they’re shit and full of shit.

Likewise Chris de Burgh.

Update: This may amuse…

Why do none of these songs have proper videos? This is another hand-crafted effort by a dedicated YouTube user, but it’s less horrible than some. It was this or a live version, which would have been much less fun. This is a good singalong number for your office Christmas party, should your office Christmas party be featuring music, which mine won’t. Although if you listen closely, it sounds as though Chris has a bit of a sore throat. Get well soon, Chris!

This is the third year I have done this in some form. Each day of advent, I pick a song which contains the number. This is usually in the title or band name, until I get really desperate.

Here I will be posting three songs per day; the choices for this year and the ones from the two previous years. In this way, I will create a full record of what I have sent. Unfortunately, WordPress will not allow me to upload music, but I will continue with this anyway and put in links to the songs where I can find them online.

So, day 1. This year, I’m going with One Wild Night by Bon Jovi.

From 2008, One World by Chris de Burgh.

From 2007, Square One by Coldplay.

سلام.

برای این پست وبلاگ 5 آهنگ بسیار زیبا و متنوع در نظر گرفته‌ام. که در زیر معرفی‌شون میکنم. تحول جدیدی که در وبلاگ صورت گرفته اینه که از این به بعد لینک مستقیم آهنگ‌ها رو بهتون میدم و دیگه مجبور نیستید از سرورهای کند فورشر آهنگ‌ها رو دانلود کنید.

قبل از اینکه بریم سراغ اصل مطلب، توصیه میکنم که آلبوم جدید حسین زمان به اسم “قرار عاشقی” و آلبوم جدید محمدرضا عیوضی به اسم “دل خوش سیری چند” را بخرید و گوش کنید. چند تا از آهنگ‌های این دو آلبوم از بهترین‌ آهنگ‌های سال خواهند بود.

اولین و معروف‌ترین پیشنهاد، آهنگ جاودانه و لطیف کریس دی برگ (chris de burgh) به نام (Natasha dance) که از بهترین آهنگ‌های این خواننده محبوب به حساب میاد:

این آهنگ رو می‌تونید از اینجا با لینک مستقیم و حجم کم دانلود کنید.

و اینهم لایریکس آهنگ:

Natasha brings me kisses in the moonlight,
She kneels above me, silk upon my skin,
I reach for her, and I can feel her heartbeat,
Beneath her breast so heavy in my hand;

The rain is running rivers on my window,
And shimmers on the streetlights down below,
She’s happy when I hold her in the shadows,
And whispers of a life I’ve never known;

And will you dance, Natasha dance for me,
Because I want to feel the passion in your soul,
And when you dance, will you tell me in a story,
The joy and pain of living in your world;

La la la, la la la, la la la la…….

And with the light I wake up in the morning,
And she has gone, it must have been a dream,
And then I see the roses on my pillow,
And now I know that she will come again;

And she will dance, Natasha dance for me,
Again I want to feel the passion in your soul,
And when you move, will you show me in a story,
The joy and pain of living in your world;

Natasha dance for me………

آهنگ بعدی، آهنگ بسیار زیبا و فوق‌العاده‌ی تینا چارلز (tina charles) خواننده انگلیسی به اسم I love to love است که بدون شک بعد از یکبار گوش دادن، عاشق این آهنگ خاص خواهید شد. چرا که کلا در اوج خونده شده و ما ایرانیها هم که عاشق اوج آهنگ‌ها هستیم!!

این آهنگ بی‌نظیر رو می‌تونید از اینجا با لینک مستقیم و حجم کم دانلود کنید.

و اینهم متن ترانه‌ی این آهنگ:

Oh, I love to love
But my baby just loves to
dance, he wants to dance
He loves to dance, he’s got to dance
Oh, I love to love
But my baby just loves to dance

Oh, I love to love
But there’s no time for our romance
No, no, no
Oh, I love to love
But my baby just loves to dance

The minute the band begins to swing it
He’s on his feet to dig it and
dance the night away
Stop, I’m spinnin’ like a top
We’ll dance until we drop,
but if I have my way

Oh, I love to love
But my baby just loves to
dance, he wants to dance
He loves to dance, he’s got to dance
Oh, I love to love
But my baby just loves to dance

Oh, I love to love
But he won’t give our love a chance
No, no, no
Oh, I love to love
But my baby just loves to dance

Stop, I’m spinnin’ like a top
We’ll dance until we drop,
but if I have my way
Some night instead of going downtown
We’ll stay at home and get down to
what I’m tryin’ to say

Oh, I love to love
But my baby just loves to
dance, he wants to dance
He loves to dance, he’s got to dance
Oh, I love to love
But my baby just loves to dance

آهنگ بعدی، آهنگ بی‌نظیری از گروه اسپانیایی مکانو (mecano) به اسم Aire است که از بهترین آهنگ‌های این گروه محبوب به شمار میاد:

این آهنگ رو از اینجا با حجم کم و لینک مستقیم دانلود کنید.

و متن ترانه‌ی آهنگ:

Una noche de resaca, al tratar de despertar
Note que por el ombligo me empezaba a desinflar
Que mi cuerpo se arrugaba como un papel vegetal.
Que iba pasando, que curioso, al estado gaseoso.
Y tras la metamorfosis me sentí mucho mejor.
Era un aire gris y obscuro, con bastante polución.
Se notaba en cualquier caso que era aire de ciudad,
que si bien no es el mas sano lo prefiere el ser humano.

Aire. Soñé por un momento que era aire
Oxigeno, nitrógeno y argón
sin forma definida ni color

(fui aire…volador)
Como yo soy muy inconsciente, hasta en esta situación,
Decidí ser consecuente con mi nueva dimensión
Y probé a ser respirado por la que duerme a mi lado
Sin entrar en pormenores, yo se hacer cosas mejores.
Como no me satisfizo la experiencia sexual
Se me inflaron los vapores, me convertí en huracán.
Di unas tres o cuatro vueltas y a la quinta me canse.
“Este cuarto es muy pequeño para las cosas que sueño”

Y lo siento por mi novia y el cristal que me cargue
Me escape por la ventana y en picado me lance
Pero tuve mala suerte y cuando iba a remontar
Me volví otra vez humano, no faltéis al funeral.

آهنگ چهارم، آهنگ فوق‌العاده و ماندگار گروه U2 به اسم With or Without You است که از بهترین‌های این گروه راک مشهور و محبوب ایرلندی می‌باشد.

این آهنگ زیبا رو می‌تونید از اینجا با لینک مستقیم و حجم کم دانلود کنید.

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side.
I wait for you.
Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you

With or without you
With or without you.

Through the storm, we reach the shore
You gave it all but I want more
And I’m waiting for you

With or without you
With or without you.
I can’t live with or without you.

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give, and you give
And you give yourself away.

My hands are tied, my body bruised
She´s got me with nothing to win
And nothing left to lose.

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give, and you give
And you give yourself away.

With or without you
With or without you
I can’t live
With or without you.

With or without you
With or without you
I can’t live
With or without you
With or without you.

و اما آهنگ آخر رو که همیشه به یک آهنگ ایرانی اختصاص میدم، آهنگ بی‌نظیری است از ویگن به نام “گل سرخ”. این آهنگ بدون شک یکی از بهترین‌های تاریخ موسیقی پاپ ایرانه.

آهنگ گل سرخ رو می‌تونید از اینجا با لینک مستقیم و حجم کم دانلود کنید.

و اینهم متن ترانه آهنگ:

آخر اي محبوب زيبا
بعد از آن دير آشنايي
آمدي خواندي برايم
قصه تلخ جدايي
مانده ام سر در گريبان
بي تو در شبهاي غمگين
بي تو باشد همدم من
ياد پيمانهاي ديرين
آن گل سرخي كه دادي
در سكوت خانه پژمرد
آتش عشق و محبت
در خزان سينه افسرد
اكنون نشسته در نگاهم
تصوير پر غرور چشمت
يكدم نميرود از يادم
چشمه هاي پر نور چشمت

Jeg elsker denne sangen av Chris De Burgh. Den er så nydelig, både tekst og melodi. Også fant jeg denne videoen, og den er ganske så fin den og!

There’s a good vibe in The Fashion Office today, the sun is shining, it’s Friday and we’re feeling inspired by Colours this week.  By chance, it’d appear there’s a lot of gold going on too, and from a collective of sensationally-stylish ladies with naturally expensive taste, who’d expect anything less?

Sostylistic recommends: Jill Scott – Golden.

Sartoriology picks: Spandau Ballet – Gold.

New Favourite Thing elects: Chris De Burgh – Lady In Red.

A Work In Progress suggests: the late King Of Pop, Michael Jackson and Black Or White.

Ellie opts for: Counting Crows – Colourblind.

Emily selects: Madonna – True Blue.

Frankie chooses: Prince – Purple Rain.

Soldiersailor nominates double whammy: The Golden Filter, Solid Gold.

Last week, the girls switched on their boxes and chose their favourites from Songs Featured In Adverts. Find out which ads we loved and the tracks that were top of our list.

Chris De Burgh, né Christopher John Davison, le 15 Octobre 1948 en Argentine, son père était un diplomate Anglais  et sa mère Emily était secrétaire Irlandaise.
Il est compositeur interprète et devenu célèbre dès 1986 pour son succès planétaire, la chanson d’amour  “The Lady in Red“.
Il a écrit cependant dans une grande variété de genres et est un instrumentiste confirmé.

Chris De Burgh.

La chanson ‘The Lady in Red‘ est issue de l’album Chris De Burgh *Into The Light* (1986) et a été classée en numéro 1 dans 25 pays à partir de Juin 1986 et culminant au palmarès Billboard en n ° 3 à la date de Mai 1987.
Il est dit que la Princesse Diana l’aurait remercié pour avoir écrit une si belle chanson en son honneur car il est de notoriété publique que la couleur préférée de la Princesse est le rouge, mais il est plus vraisemblable que Chris De Burgh ait écrit cette mélodie en souvenir de sa première épouse Diane.
Sur la série TV britannique *This Is Your Life*, de Burgh a dit que la chanson lui avait été inspirée par le souvenir de la première fois qu’il a vu Diane, son épouse.

C’est un point commun qu’il a avec moi, car je me souviens précisément de ce que ma femme portait lors de notre première rencontre.:)

Lady in Red

Ecoutez cette version splendide piano voix superbement enregistrée…

*Lady in Red * Lyrics

I’ve never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight
I’ve never seen you shine so bright
I’ve never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance
They’re looking for a little romance
Given half a chance
And I’ve never seen that dress you’re wearing
Or that highlights in your hair
That catch your eyes
I have been blind

¤ Chorus
The lady in red is dancing with me
Cheek to cheek
There’s nobody here
It’s just you and me
It’s where I wanna be
But I hardly know this beauty by my side
I’ll never forget the way you look tonight

I’ve never seen you looking so gorgeous as you did tonight
I’ve never seen you shine so bright you were amazing
I’ve never seen so many people want to be there by your side
And when you turned to me and smiled it took my breath away
And I have never had such a feeling such a feeling
Of complete and utter love, as I do tonight

¤ Chorus
I never will forget the way you look tonight
The lady in red
My lady in red .

Be the first to know on Manin’s Blog

I have been rather remiss with my responsibilities in blogging, so far as I have been too immersed reading a book by Richard Aldous, “The Lion and The Unicorn”- an interesting account of the utterly intoxicating relationship between William Gladstone and Benjamin Disraeli under the setting of Victorian England at its peak. As I was perusing the internet however, it would be rather inappropriate if I didn’t share this find from Slate, a Magnum photo essay detailing vivid red dresses and clothes in full splendour and colourful pageantry.

Notwithstanding my passionate devotion to Liverpool and a seemingly kitsch tolerance for fellow Red Chris De Burgh’s well…”Lady In Red”, I have always been fascinated by girls dressed in red, especially in proper cloaks or as today’s fashion would suggest, red hoodies. Whether it may be in an Argentinian tango clothed in wine and another dancer in red or a Sunday morning in a New York street, my attention has always been captured, enraptured by red clothing. Even in  my dreams, I have always been haunted by a lady in a red cloak, chasing stars underneath a fantastic sky (I have even painted a picture of it- see below). I don’t know- perhaps as my name suggests, I have always been a wolf, teased by and teasing at the same time, a distant muse in red.

A painting I did as a cover for a long missing book of short stories I wrote.

Anyway, here it is:

http://todayspictures.slate.com/20090930/

so forget this cruel world
where I belong
I’ll just sit and wait
and sing my song
and if one day you should see me in the crowd
lend a hand and lift me
to your place in the cloud

Nick Drake – ‘Cello Song

Nick Drake

Robert Kirby is al vier dagen dood en geen haan die daar naar kraait. Overleden op de operatietafel van een ziekenhuis in Londen. Hoe tragisch. Hij had een drukke kantoorbaan en noemde muziek zijn hobby. Zijn hobby! Kirby was muzikant en producer, maar is vooral bekend vanwege zijn krankzinnig mooie strijkarrangementen voor Nick Drake, een grote held van menig singer/songwriter. Ook van mij.

Wij hebben de eer gehad met Robert Kirby te mogen werken, maar daar kwam een stukje ‘geluk’ bij kijken. Het was 7 juli 2005, de dag van de bomaanslagen in Londen. Het verkeer had grotendeels stil gestaan, maar Kirby was nog net op tijd geweest om op zijn vliegtuig te stappen. In de studio verblijdde hij ons met heel mooie arrangementen en de prachtigste verhalen. Hij vond het gelukkig niet vervelend om te vertellen over Nick Drake en de grote blunder die hij ooit had begaan: ‘nee’ zeggen tegen de toen nog relatief onbekende Chris De Burgh. Hij vond het songmateriaal niet sterk genoeg van wat uiteindelijk Into The Light zou worden, het doorbraak album van Chris De Burgh met daarop de allejezus hit ‘The Lady In Red’…

Zijn beste anekdote was over die ene keer dat hij zijn allergrootste held ontmoette. Robert Kirby produceerde een niet zo’n heel goed bandje in Abbey Road toen hij tijdens het opnemen van de bas werd gebeld door iemand van de balie. De studio had een dubbelboeking. Kirby werd vriendelijk doch dringend verzocht de studio te verlaten voor een “belangrijke klant”. Uiteraard liet hij zich niet zomaar wegjagen, maar toen even later de deur openging, snapte hij de paniek en de geheimzinnigheid die hij daarvoor aan de telefoon had gehoord. Hij stond oog in oog met Paul en Linda McCartney.

“Stoor je niet aan ons”, had Paul hartelijk gesproken om vervolgens plaats te nemen op de bank. Een van ’s werelds grootste artiesten ooit wachtte keurig zijn beurt af. En Linda pakte haar breiwerkje erbij. Glimlachen werden nogmaals uitgewisseld en Robert Kirby boog zich weer over de mengtafel. Met het zweet op zijn rug. “Daar zat ik dan, te prutsen aan een baspartij. Met voor mij een band die nergens naar klonk en achter mij mijn grote idool die nota bene de bassist van The Beatles was”, spraken de lippen van Kirby, waar wij aan hingen. Ik zag Linda insteken, omslaan, doorhalen en af laten glijden.

Na een tijdje tikte er iemand op zijn schouder. Het was Paul. “I’m not sure if you know, but I recorded bass here a few times. Do you need some help?” Die eerste zin nog een keer: “I’m not sure if you know, but I recorded bass here a few times.” Briljant. Maar goed, om een lange anekdote kort te maken: Paul McCartney zou wat aan de knoppen hebben gedraaid en wonderen hebben verricht. En Robert Kirby blij hebben gemaakt.

Robert Kirby laat een zoon, een dochter en een ex-vrouw achter. Ik geloof niet in het hiernamaals, maar in een ideale hemel heeft Nick Drake hem daar afgelopen week opgewacht om weer heel mooie muziek te maken. Uiteraard op de maat van het getik van Linda McCartney haar breinaalden.

Seit Tagen komme ich mir ein bisschen so vor, als hätte sich die Zeit zurückgedreht … nur dass dieses Lied diesmal nicht aus meinem Kinderzimmer an die damals sicherlich gequälten Ohren meiner Eltern dringt – sondern die FantaEltern aus dem Zimmer des großen FantaKindes  damit  “dauerbeschallt” werden:

Wobei … soooo schlimm finde ich es eigentlich gar nicht, eines meiner alten Lieblingslieder wieder zu hören -auch wenn es nicht ganz so oft und laut sein müsste - außerdem bin ich selber schuld … schließlich hätte ich ihm meine alten Schallplatten ja nicht geben müssen …

Security news is the name of the game (actually, I call it ‘The Security News Game’) so let’s get talking about some security news! OK.

So we’ve got a security pro coming out of retirement to relaunch his business and maybe, just maybe, create a few jobs in the process! A bit of a hero? Possibly.

There’s also the latest look at our CCTV End User Survey – this time we’re examining the responses to the training provided by installers or manufacturers. Fascinating.

I went and had a bit of a rant about US-based moron Tim Larkin, who is planning to teach ‘How To Kill’ classes in the UK. In a nutshell: I think he’s a bit of a wally!

Elsewhere, we’ve got SMT Online editor Brian Sims with his SMT Online Editor’s View; the much-feared massive rise in tractor and quad bike theft; and a little bit o’ holography for ya. Holla.

I’m afraid I am to blame for this: it’s our Song About Security. And it’s Whitney Houston. You know the one. And speaking of ‘legends’, here’s something involving Chris de Burgh.

And in case you missed it yesterday: a very entertaining video of some karaoke fun. Have a top notch weekend.

www.info4security.com, www.ifsec.co.uk

Oh, this one is just great.

Seems that the Man Who Loved The Lady In Red saw Red Once More following a review in The Irish Times. So he decided to pen himself an old-fashioned letter from Outraged of Oppenheim. And so the paper printed it. And so much hilarity ensued.

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Dear Mr Crawley,

I rarely read reviews, but as yours was sitting on my kitchen table, and after three sold-out shows in the Gaiety Theatre, I thought I should have a look at it; after all, receiving a favourable review in The Irish Times is about as likely as . . . well, receiving a favourable review in The Irish Times!!

I was not disappointed. How the fond memories came flooding back, more than 30 years of them; you must have a Lexicon of Handy Insults, because you managed to use many of the same ones that have been used so many times before, and still they make me smile at their continued lack of imagination. “Small man . . . shudder . . . warbly tenor . . . mawkish balladeer . . . cringe factor . . . squeaky clean . . . snigger . . . cheesy” etc – yes, they were all there, as used by many of your colleagues before, such as Joe Breen (who, I note, has been put out to pasture in the wine section, and I am assured by friends in the wine trade that he knows as much about wine as he did about music – precious little. I wonder what they have in mind for you in your dotage? Searing critiques of primary school Christmas plays perhaps, or judging knife-sharpening competitions in Sligo?).

Being a theatre critic and not a music critic, you must have strayed into the Gaiety by mistake last Monday night, possibly looking for the rear entrance to Neary’s pub, but you certainly arrived with the word “prejudice” burned into your furrowed brow. How it must have galled you to hear the rapturous welcome I received at the start of the show; how you must have writhed at every standing ovation; how you must have cringed at every call of “Chris, we love you”; how you must have felt isolated as the audience rose to their feet as one, singing, dancing and shouting out for more; how you must have growled to yourself as you left, surrounded by so many happy people, to make your curmudgeonly way to the safety of the street outside. You really should look up the word “entertainment” again, you might be surprised to see that it is all about people having a GOOD TIME!! Your churlish review is an insult to all those who enjoyed their night out, and in these days of collapsing newspaper sales and an entire new generation on the way who will get their information online, you may be looking for another job sooner rather than later. Your pals in the pub must have loved your review, but it seems that you are universally loathed in the theatre world. A leading impresario has described you as “puffed up with his own self-importance”, and a much-loved and successful actress refers to you as “that loathsome little turd”. Great accolades, to be sure.

And what of you and your future ambitions? Will you continue to be an occasional critic in a country with the population of Greater Manchester, or are you, like so many of your colleagues, about to write a book/play/film script/biography? If so, I would be delighted to attend the opening/launch/ premiere. To have gone to the Gaiety with your mind made up is unprofessional of course, but to totally ignore what actually happened and launch a personal attack is so transparent that any reader can see that it was pointless even writing it, as you were the only person who attended the show that night who didn’t ACTUALLY WANT TO BE THERE!! As I have always had a very positive attitude towards life, I have sympathy for your position, as it must be so poisonous to have to lurk in the shadows, riffling through the garbage bins of despair and avoiding those who think that you are an irrelevance, an irritation to be ignored and laughed about.

I would be very happy to meet with you and pursue these ideas further, but I suspect that you, like so many others of your kind, would lack the courage, like a dog that snarls and barks from a distance yet cowers and runs away at the first sight of reaction. Anyway, the offer is there.

Finally, whatever happens in your career, let me wish you a long and happy life, all the best,

Chris de Burgh

P.S. We were wondering by way of explanation and as you seem to portray yourself as a bitter and unfulfilled man, were you much teased by your school chums in the schoolyard and called “Creepy Crawley”? I think we should be told!

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Here’s the link to the full story, including the original review.

Further commentary here.

I reviewed Mr de Burgh in concert once, for the NME in the 80s. And I must say that the Irish Times dude is too kind.

A woman’s heart is filled with passion,
A woman’s heart is filled with lust,
If you don’t believe that these things happen,
Could be the biggest mistake that a man can make;

A woman’s night is filled with dreaming,
Of the perfect man who may not be you,
If we don’t see what she’s been missing,
Could be the biggest mistake that a man can make,

A woman’s day is filled with longing,
For a little romance and company,
If we don’t look or just don’t listen,
Could be the biggest mistake that a man can make;

A woman’s heart is yours forever,
She will be true, to the one in her life,
If we don’t give her love and affection,
Could be the biggest mistake, that a man can make.

Chris de Burgh, född Christopher John Davison 15 oktober 1948 i Buenos Aires, Argentina, är en irländsk musiker och sångare. Han fick 1986 en stor hit med låten The Lady in Red.
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