At the risk of my reader, Riorico, claiming that once again my posts are “all about me” and that I have a “need for attention” I have decided to make part four of my series about me.

The first three parts to this series have focused on the devastating physical, mental, and emotional problems that plague those who have been victimized as children by sexual predators. You can read them here:  Part One Part Two Part Three

In this post I would like to share with my readers how seriously ill the incest made me and how much I have overcome as a result of working on myself in therapy for fourteen years. The purpose of this information is not to draw sympathy or attention to myself, it is to inform people that incest and child sexual abuse can cause severe damage to the victim’s immune system and vital organs, such as the heart and bladder, as well as affecting their psychological state and emotions. This post is also to show that there is hope for every survivor, no matter how badly they suffer.

Sixteen years ago I came down with an illness that doctors say has no cure or treatment. Sixteen years ago, I was scared out of my mind because I was suffering from incapacitating, frightening physical symptoms that caused me unbearable suffering. I spent countless hours in doctors offices, emergency rooms, and in Lab facilities having my body probed, poked, and scanned. After $30,000 in medical bills, the experts told me that they could find nothing wrong.

After a year with no diagnosis, an ear nose and throat specialist finally diagnosed me with Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome. The diagnosis was then verified by two CFIDS specialists.

I remember sitting in the office of one of the specialists. I was frightened and full of uncertainty. The specialist said to me, “There’s good news and bad news about this disease”…”The good news is that you are not going to die, and the bad news is that you are not going to die.”

It was not until I was well into the labyrinth of the illness that I truly understood the depth and truth of his words. On the days when I was bed-ridden with a fatigue that is indescribable, I also suffered from chronic diarrhea, constant stomach aches, ringing in my ears, short-term memory loss, pain in my heart area, vice-grip headaches, choking for no reason, inflamed lymph nodes and dizziness.

Every night for years, as I lay my head on my pillow, my heart pounded so loudly in my ears that I thought it would stop from pure exhaustion. If I did manage to fall asleep I was soon awakened by a feeling of forgetting how to breathe and I woke up gasping for breath. This was my body’s reminder that I had been choked by both parents.

For a number of years, I awoke from nightmares so hellacious and tormenting, that they were beyond imagination — nightmares so vile and disturbing that I wanted to die when I woke up. For years I experienced  sharp pains in my vagina. Pains that no doctor could find the origin for because they were caused by being raped by my father when I was in grade school.

When I managed to crawl out of bed during the day, meals caused me to want to vomit or I shoveled food in my mouth at alarming rates, because for me, food had nothing to do with sustaining my body. For me –food meant sex. About seven years ago, I started having more serious issues with food. I began to  experience the feeling of having a full stomach all of the time –whether or not I had eaten. Then there were numerous days at a time when I could barely eat at all because food made me so nauseous and dizzy that I was afraid of eating. The fullness in my stomach was created by being forced to perform oral sex on a female family member.

Then there is the pathological hunger. A debilitating hunger that never ceased. Even when I was full or nauseous, I was always hungry. One day I ate four burritos and was still starving. This hunger has been a symptom that I have yet to find the root cause for. It has gotten significantly better over the years. I no longer suffer from it, but it is one of the very few symptoms that still hangs on, and why I am still in therapy.

During these years, I continually suffered Shingles outbreaks. Shingles is a virus of the nervous system. It attacked my head and ears with pain, and a very ugly bubbly lesion always formed down the left side of my neck. I no longer suffer from the Shingles because, through therapy, I was able to find the cause of it. The lesion on my neck formed in the exact place that my father had once held a knife to my throat.

In 1997, four months before remembering that my father had sex with me as a child, my bladder erupted into one of the most excruciating symptoms of all. For four months I could barely urinate. I went to the bathroom twenty to forty times a day in a futile attempt to expel my urine. Each agonizing time, only a trickle came out. Gynecologists and a top urologist found nothing wrong –even after inserting a tube up my urethra. The next step they wanted to take was to put a scope with a camera up my urethra. I said, “Thanks, but no thanks.” I then chose to allow the therapy to help me because it was the only method of treatment that was healing my physical suffering. Thank God I listened to my instincts because after I finally remembered the incest, my bladder slowly became better and was healed.

Below is a list of the rest of the physical debilitations that I suffered during the process of memories surfacing and healing from incest:

Muscle twitching

Sore throats

post-exertion malaise

Sleep disorders

Abdominal pain

Insomnia

Vertigo

Tightness in chest

Loss of sex drive

Neurological problems

Seeing spots before eyes

Tachycardia (rapid heart rate) with minimal or no exertion, which may persist for long periods of the day, coming on at any moment and with no known cause.

Acne on the inside of upper thighs near vaginal area

Throbbing pain in upper left chest

Malaise

Vision problems

Pain in heart

Heart flutters

Chronic constipation

Could not inhale deeply

Pulling feeling in lungs

Swollen lymph nodes in right neck area and in lower abdominal areas

Pain inside wall of throat (different from a sore throat)

Terrible gas pains

Chronic sinus problems

Severe tooth pain with no known origin

Night leg twitches (known as “Restless Leg Syndrome”)

Reduced exercise tolerance

Pressure in head and neck area

Numbness of limbs

Clicking of heart

Short term memory loss

Common headaches

Vise grip headaches

Foggy and disoriented mind

Nerves shook and quivered so badly, it felt like a seizure might occur

Extreme sensitivity to sound, light, heat, and cold

Chronic lower back pain (this was caused by repressed rage)

Hemorrhoids

Impaired speech and/or reasoning

Visual disturbances

Panic attacks

Chills and night sweats

Pain in leg which struck for no reason and did not allow me to walk down the street.

Jaw clenching

Constant feeling of having a virus

Ringing in the ears (tinnitus)

Feeling as if about to black out

Burning sensation inside throat

Spitting up excessively

Seeing stars before my eyes

Pain in entire chest, as if being crushed

Swallowing or gagging sensitivity

As anyone can see, contrary to what some people might believe, it isn’t so easy to merely ‘move on’ ‘let it go’ and ’stop being a victim.’ The body will not rest until the mind is at ease, and it took fifteen years of intensive therapy to rid my mind of the effects of incest. I was sexually assaulted, physically abused, or psychologically attacked every day for over ten years. A person cannot wipe out that much trauma in a few therapy sessions, or even a few years of therapy sessions. People should not judge others for the amount of time they need to be in therapy, and I have noticed that I am a lot more psychologically stable than those who have criticized me for the amount of time it has taken me to heal.

As of this posting I am not suffering from any symptoms. I might experience the hunger or some problems with food in the coming weeks. This is because I have not quite nailed my psychological issues regarding food and sex. However, as of this post, I remain in therapy and will do so until I am one hundred percent FREE. Yet, if you read over all of my symptoms, you can see how much I have overcome.

Cleveland.com skriver i dag en artikkel som omtaler møte hvor 75 ledende forskere møttes  i Cleveland for å diskutere XMRV.

“There was a lot of excitement at the meeting,” Clinic cancer biologist Robert Silverman said of the gathering that drew 75 of the top scientists from 14 institutions who are studying XMRV.

Silverman was part of a team of researchers from the Clinic, the University of Nevada at Reno and the National Cancer Institute that recently reported a link between XMRV and CFS.”

Les hele artikkelen her

European Society for ME har lagt ut et langt stykke om hvilken rolle virus har hatt i kunnskapen om ME.

“A virus is a microscopic organism that lives within the cells of another living organism.  Viruses cause disease at the most basic level, by damaging the cells of living things. By themselves, viruses are lifeless particles incapable of reproduction, but once they enter the cell of another living thing they become active organisms that can multiply hundreds of times.”

Les det her

From the  FMS Global News Desk of Jeanne Hambleton

Courtesy of ProHealth

Copyright © 2009 ProHealth, Inc.

Rumor on the ProHealth Message Boards has it that Viral Immune Pathology Diagnostics (VIP Dx) in Reno, Nevada (www.redlabsusa.com), will soon make available a test kit for the XMRV virus – the retrovirus which most of the world knows by now is thought to be a biomarker for a large proportion of chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS) patients.

According to the buzz, ME/CFS patients and their physicians will be able to order VIP Dx kits as soon as pricing is established – and that was due to be Friday, Oct 16, according to a ProHealth ME/CFS Message Board user who has already arranged to receive a kit when they become available for shipment. According to her, “They send it to you by FedEx and you have to have a Dr. sign off and take it to a lab. [VIP Dx] pays for it to be sent back.”

This cannot  be offered in Europe. As of Oct 14, a Co-Cure listserv poster reported that Marguerite Ross, Director of Marketing & Client Relations at VIP Dx, indicated to him “we cannot offer the test in Europe because of the time difference and temperature changes the sample would experience,[which would render it]unsuitable for analysis.” In the same communication, she stated “the test will be available in the USA in about 3-4 weeks as it is undergoing final validation and licensing.”

According to the initial news on the VIP Dx test – posted Oct 9 on the CFS Warrior blog (http://cfswarrior.blogspot.com), there is “a PCR test for the XMRV virus itself. Another test kit recommended by Dr. Paul Cheney is the NKCP & LYEA test… If you want to be tested call the lab at 775-351-1890 and they will ship out a kit to you. Your doctor has to sign off, then take it to a local lab to get the test done and then it gets shipped overnight back to VIP Labs. It takes about two weeks to get the results. The woman I spoke to was very nice. They are swamped with calls but expected it.”

VIP Dx is the new name of the former REDLABS USA, launched years ago with the assistance of Belgium-based ME/CFS researcher Dr. Kenny De Meirleir, who has no financial interest in the venture. It was named after De Meirleir’s own R.E.D. Laboratories, a biotechnology company in Belgium focused on “developing clinical diagnostic tests and therapies for chronic immune diseases.” VIP Dx is located geographically near the Whittemore-Peterson Institute, which is part of the University of Nevada, Reno. VIP’s medical director – Dr. Vincent Lombardi, PhD – was recently hired from the UN-Reno School of Medicine, and reportedly played a role in the WPI testing.

Test Availability from Whittemore-Peterson?

Meanwhile, according to the XMRV FAQ at the WPI website, “The WPI has developed a blood test for the detection of XMRV. The test is currently undergoing clinical evaluation and validation. We hope to have a clinical test available to the public within the year.”

NEWS FROM  http://www.redlabsusa.com/  states:

LATEST NEWS: XMRV TESTING

VIP Dx 5625 Fox Avenue, Suite 369  Reno, NV 89506  Phone: (775) 351-1890  Fax: (775) 682-851 E-mail: info@vipdx.com 9:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m. (PST)

Press Releases

October 23, 2009, Reno, Nevada

It is with great pleasure that Viral Immune Pathology Diagnostics (VIP Dx) announces the introduction of its family of diagnostic tests for the Xenotropic Murine Leukemia Virus-like Virus for XMRV associated neurological disease (XAND).

XMRV is a gamma retrovirus and replicates in dividing cells. Low-level latent infections are best detected in activated, dividing cells; to activate a latent virus takes additional cell culture. Productive infections are more easily detected without special treatment of the specimen.

Each XAND specimen must have an XAND acceptance code on the test requisition. The XAND acceptance code is assigned by our staff and will arrive on the test requisition in your specimen kit. Specimens sent without the appropriate acceptance code may result in the delay or inability to perform the diagnostic test. The diagnostic tests available for XAND* are as follows:

XAND by PCR for XMRV active infection: Test Code XAND ($400)

XAND1 by virus culture for XMRV latent infection: Test Code XND1 ($500)

XAND2 by PCR for XMRV active infection and virus culture for latent infection: Test Code XND2 ($650)

We are accepting XAND tests on Tuesdays and Fridays only due to the incubation period required for proper analysis. Therefore, you must have your blood drawn on Monday or Thursday and ship immediately back to us by priority overnight FedEx for receipt by us on Tuesday or Friday.

For XAND testing you must use the coded test requisition provided with your kit. Refer to the updated specimen guidelines in the right column of the test requisition for proper blood draw.

No special preparation is required for specimens; ship specimens at ambient (room) temperature. Specimens must be received within 24 hours for proper analysis. Collection and shipping instructions are included in each kit along with all required specimen tubes. The return clinical envelope and overnight airbill are also included.

To order you test kit, please e-mail your full name, address and telephone number toinfo@vipdx.com. There is a 4-6 week back order. VIP Dx is committed to having everyone tested who wants to be tested. Please accept our sincere apology for any delays. We thank you for your support and patience.

Please visit our website at www.vipdx.com for more information on VIP Dx and our tests.

Please visit Whittemore Peterson Institute for FAQ on the XMRV virus at www.wpinstitute.org.  On behalf of the VIP Dx team, we thank you for your continued support.

* The XAND tests were developed and their performance characteristics were determined and validated by VIP Dx. These tests have not been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for diagnostic purposes. Medical expertise is required for XAND test interpretation.

….ends…..

I haven’t updated this blog in forever, so I thought I might as well make a post about what’s been happening lately.

…

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this, but I’ve had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for the last 2+ years.  For the past month or two I’ve officially been considered disabled.  Which is a good thing, I guess, since it’s legal acknowledgment of the fact that my life sucks.

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is a lot worse than the name sounds.  Imagine catching a flu, running five miles in the rain without any clothes, and getting punched in the head by a troll.  Then imagine doing that every day.  Not fun.

The fact that my mom has Chronic Fatigue too really doesn’t help.

…

My family’s been housesitting for a friend of my mom since our home got foreclosed last year, but that’s ending now, so I literally have no idea where I’m going to be living in a week or so.  This is greatly complicated by the fact that, if you’re poor and disabled, the government will give you just enough money to live on, assuming you cost about as much to care for as a small potted daffodil

My mom is considering moving to Texas.  Which would be kind of scary, because I’ve never lived out of California. Could be an interesting adventure, though.

…

Having a male body is getting more and more difficult.  Not a whole lot I can do about that, since I’m sick as hell and I’ve got no money.  I don’t even have the energy to dress up.

Being in denial was so much easier.

…

On the upside, I’ve probably built enough character to kill a small herd of elephants.  And I’ve got a story or two running about in my head, because a crappy life is brilliant inspiration, apparently.

And, of course, it could all be a lot worse.

Regarding the upcoming Canadian Federation of Students’ AGM next week, there is a motion on the agenda that should be of great concern to anyone in our country that supports an open, democratic and progressive student movement. The motion proposes a number of procedural changes for leaving the CFS, all of which will disenfranchise students, and in the process, add to the list of criticisms the CFS has accumulated over the years.

The CFS is no stranger to controversy and criticisms. I will not detail those here; you can do the research yourself. Nevertheless, rather than address these criticisms in a just and transparent manner, the CFS continues to dig itself an even deeper grave with motions such as this. Being the largest and most entrenched organization affiliated with the student movement in Canada, with this perpetual grave-digging comes serious consequences for students and the student movement.

Specifically, this motion seeks to implement the following measures:

1. Only two student associations in our country would be able to hold referenda to defederate from the CFS in any three-month period;
2. To even initiate a referendum, the number of signatures that need to be collected would be doubled to 20% of the entire student population within a given association;
3. An association would only be allowed to a hold a referendum once every five years.

Democracy is premised on the freedom of individuals in a group to choose their own destiny, to articulate and self-determine what their best interests are, and to enact those interests in meaningful ways. Grassroots movements are premised on action coming from the bottom-up, not the top-down. I fear this motion, coupled with the possible failure of a series of reform motions, will greatly restrict these dynamic processes.

Indeed, active engagement in movements and interest groups come from a sense of freedom, not from forced compliance. At the very least, making people feel they have the freedom to determine their own directions and paths, whether individually or collectively, will contribute in positive ways to their feelings towards, and participation in wider projects such as the CFS.

Make no mistake: I do not personally support defederating from the CFS. That said, after years of commitment to, and study of the politics of oppression and social justice, I am also of the opinion that restricting the control people have over their own destinies will almost always cause them to work against the structures that restrict. Restricting the power we students have over the student movement and the institutions therein will ultimately lead to the demise of the Federation as it now stands. This is not, in my humble opinion, a good thing.

Without any doubt in my mind, the manipulative tactics that have made the CFS notorious to student leaders and community members alike over the years are the most basic and true reasons for the current state of affairs (i.e. not ‘Conservative meddling‘ as some cronies like to spin it). With petitions from an unprecedented 13 (at least) student associations in 6 provinces having been delivered, the CFS is on the cusp of losing a third (almost 200,000) of its members. Lets face up to that reality, and the reasons for it.

But before any of this can even start to be addressed, before we can ever effectively lobby the government, or even act in solidarity, we need to nurse ourselves back to health. Not cosmetically or superficially, not by paying lip-service to ‘change’, but by enacting substantive reforms to the structure of the organization.

Negatively, that is soundly rejecting offensive motions such as this one; positively, that is wholeheartedly  embracing democratic reform; such reforms that call for: the articulation of a conflict of interest policy, the deconsolidation of financial statements, executive salary disclosures, the creation of a judicial board,  the re-examination of its campaigns, and the termination of lawsuits against student associations that voted years ago to leave the federation.

True progress must start here and now. It is our responsibility as citizens and as students to be critical of power structures, and to do everything we can to terminate oppressive tactics of said structures.

I ran for the Presidency of the CFS-Q exactly because I thought the CFS was not doomed to such heavy-handed tactics as it has pursued in the past. Despite what I have been told, new directions are possible. However with this motion on the table, and with the National Executive’s condemnation of the reform motions endorsed by my organization, it will continue to move in that direction.

Nevertheless, I am an idealist – despite repeat efforts by the National Executive and others to hamper the democratic vibrancy of its members, I, for one, will not roll over. And its not just me: the movement to reform the CFS is growing momentum, with thousands of students across the country getting involved in the discussion.

Having gotten this far through my rant, I ask one more favour of you: phone the CFS National office in Ottawa at 613-232-7394. Email Katherine Giroux-Bougard at chair@cfs-fcee.ca, and Noah Stewart-Ornstein at dchair@cfs-fcee.ca, and let your voices be heard – whatever voice or opinion that may be. I can only hope your opinion is based on a healthy dose of critical thought.

We, the students, will never be defeated.

Gregory Johannson, President – CFS-Quebec

KonaRed has just launched a new all natural Energy Shot beverage made with KonaRed Coffee Fruit.  In a departure from the artificially flavored and colored highly caffeinated Energy Drinks flooding the market, KonaRed Energy Shots are made from KonaRed Coffee Fruit hydrosol liquid extract, cinnamon hydrosol extract, certified organic Maui Sugar, and water from Maui’s Haleakala volcano.   These simple ingredients include 5 top tier phenolic acids including chlorogenic acid and caffeic acids: antioxidants with anti-inflammatory properties, ferulic acid with very high reactivity towards reactive oxygen species, quinic acid with anti-viral properties, and trigonelline with anti-bacterial properties.

The main ingredient in each shot, KonaRed Coffee Fruit Liquid Extract, contains only trace amounts of caffeine because this antioxidant rich superfood is made not from the highly caffeinated bean, but from the anthocyanin rich fruit skin and pulp of the coffee cherry, and pure volcanic spring water filtered through thousands of feet of rock.   Each conveniently sized 2-ounce shot contains only 20 calories per serving, and 5 grams of carbohydrate.   The KonaRed Coffee Fruit Liquid Extract used in the Energy Shot has an ORAC value of 97,500 per 100 grams, significantly higher than any other fruit that has been discovered.

“As we researched a healthy energy boosting supplement we realized that 99% of the products on the market contain high levels of synthetic compounds manufactured by chemical companies.  They get their energy boost by a combination of synthetically derived caffeine and other chemicals that are not well understood and have not been thoroughly tested by use over hundreds of years.”  According to CEO Shaun Roberts,  “We developed the KonaRed Energy Shots with a natural by nature mix of top grade all natural ingredients and nutrients, it is a healthy rather than toxic product for your body.”

The energy and mood boost comes from the antioxidant activity of these ingredients, and does not have the same jittery feelings followed by come down associated with most energy shots. As part of KonaRed’s commitment to responsible environmental stewardship each energy shot is packaged in environmentally friendly recyclable glass.

Visit KonaRed.com now for more information on the full line of KonaRed products including liquid hydrosol extracts and whole and freeze dried fruit powders.

Thanks for your prayers this week guys. I’ve felt them, I really have.

Monday & Tuesday have been stressful days. There is A LOT going on at the centre, a lot to be done. Just thinking about it my mind wants to spontaneously combust!

And I had a TON of malteser moments on Tuesday including sending an e-mail to myself instead of a school, walking to the Tesco at Holy Corner and realising that wasn’t where I parked my car and having to walk back past church to where I had parked my car, crashing my head off the side of Cassie’s door, and numerous gobbledygook sentences that caused Sarah to laugh at me as I tried to articulate simple things to her and failed miserably!

Including deciding that 669 + 21 = 700

(that’s wrong too)

I know God is going to get me through this – whatever it is.

If anything he’s given me a sense of humour. Heck, I’m going to make the first joke so we can at least find the funnies in this!

My friends are being awesome in taking me as I am….scattyness, not able to get out proper sentences a fair bit of the time, falling asleep, avoiding eating foods that seem to make me worse (like curry & pain au chocolat…sob!) and a BK with not a trace of make up on (I look like total crap just now, as confirmed by my friend’s Dad who saw me today – thanks Dave! lol).

I know some of my blog readers and twitter followers have been praying, and last night 3 of the folks on the worship team at MBC prayed over me. I didn’t ask for it, I didn’t expect it, but I’m very thankful and appreciative of every single one of their & your prayers.

And of course there are the Elmo slippers. They never fail to cheer up Sarah and I!

I’m so excited what God is doing right now, and I hope I can tell you more soon.

I’m anticipating God doing some incredible stuff in 2010.

Last week, a post of Pete Wilson’s caught my attention, (as they often d0). I have been running on empty for a looonnnnggg time now.

I realise that part of my stuggle was trying to separate God’s expectations from my own/other people’s expectations.

Since 2004, I’ve always used the sentence ‘I have been healed from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome’.

This week I’ve been forced to recognise that as much as I really want to believe that to be true, there is a strong possibility that it’s not true.

I hate admitting this.

It brings so many questions.

How do you balance that with being in leadership? How do you still serve as part of church? How do you get spiritually replenished when you can barely get out of bed in the morning?

How do you say ‘no’ to things you really believe in and are passionate about? Should you be saying no at all? Should you just be trying to push through?

How do you cope when someone gives you a compliment and it just makes you want to cry because more and more you are struggling to do what you love? How do you cope when your spirit says one thing and your body says another?

When the culture you are part of is ‘all or nothing’…how do you deal with the fact that your limitations force you to try find a compromise? Will people accept that, or is it that you’re going to have to be replaced in God’s kingdom?

Something I’ll never forget was the first year of dealing with CFS and the different responses from people in church.

On a really bad day I was rota-ed on to sing in the music team, the worship leader was awesome. He picked me up from my flat because he knew I wouldn’t be able to walk at that time in the morning. They had a seat so I could sit between songs or while I sang if I couldn’t manage to stand.

After the service the band and service leaders came together in a prayer huddle.

A leader turned to me to tell me off for having a seat because it wasn’t ‘worshipful’.

Should I just have not sang?

Should I have stayed home?

Was it my lack of faith?

And why couldn’t I just ’snap out of it’ like so many people suggested I should?

These are the questions in my head right now. As I struggle to even pray. I can pray for everyone who has really life threatening stuff going on. That stuff is the real stuff that needs prayer.

As I keep trying to do all the work I can, so thankful now that I only work part-time. Thankful I work with an amazing group of people who are incredibly understanding. Thankful (in a wish you hadn’t been through it too, but glad you understand what it’s like) that someone in my soon-to-be-made-extinct smallgroup has been through this. Thankful for social networking which is becoming a lifeline & at times my only connection to the outside world. Thankful for people I connect with online who understand what this is like. Thankful for so many encouraging blog friends who encourage and get me thinking.

But scared.

Scared as I look ahead to heading to Basingstoke in a couple of weeks time (booking a 6 a.m. flight now seems utter folly). Scared as I know that there will be no smallgroup come January…it’s going to be just little me from there forward.  Scared when I think of the training course Sarah and I will be leading January-May. Scared as I think of schools visits, the germs, and no one to replace me if I get ill.

Holding on…

Holding on to the words of Isaiah

“The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Isaiah 40: 28-31

One of my readers has inspired me to post her comments as an entire segment.  I have been pretty blown away over her belief system and I feel this is a subject worth addressing at length. Many people truly have no idea of the depth of physical suffering and mental torment that child sexual abuse survivors, especially incest survivors, suffer.  When people are oblivious to the depth of pain and suffering that survivors experience, or when they refuse to acknowledge it and claim that the person can choose to stop suffering at any moment, this reinforces the mind-set of child sexual abusers –who have convinced themselves that molesting and raping children is no big deal. Most perpetrators feel that what they are doing is not harmful to the child, and even helpful. Some of them feel that sex with children ought to be legalized.

Riorico says she was molested as a child but I do not feel that she suffered any trauma and because it was a stranger and that she was able to get past it so easily, I do not feel that she was abused for very long and probably not raped.  I invite Riorico to share her story of molestation if she wishes to correct me.

“Riorico” posted in response to my segment on Elizabeth Smart:

I was molested as a kid, by a stranger. My parents told me I would be alright, then let me be.

I’m alright.

What I don’t understand is why Elizabeth Smart is touting a bill that would have done nothing in her case.

Her abductor was not a registered sex offender. He was on no list of any kind. This bill would not have saved her one little bit from what happened, as it does not ’save’ any children.

We spend MILLIONS of dollars each year to ’save children’ with registries, and they have been shown to save NO ONE.

90% of sex offenses are comitted by family or friend.
The registry is an expensive peep show that benefits politicians.

Try not to be a hater. You’ll live longer. You’ll be happier.

I’ve made it my mission in life to be happy. Carrying grudges and vengeance gives you wrinkles and turns away good people. Who wants to be with someone who can’t deal with life? Shit happens. Shit happens alot.

This isn’t the worst thing that will ever happen to you. I told myself it was, but learned the hard way – there’s MUCH worse. Learn to live, or bury yourself now and get it over with.

Seriously.

I responded:

Hi, thanks for posting. There are -as you know-varying degrees of child sexual abuse. May I ask if you suffered trauma for an extended period of time? Was the molestation severe and on-going? Some children are molested once or twice and not penetrated or otherwise severely forced. Some children are molested once or twice, experience some pleasure and it ends. If you were traumatized for months or years, raped repeatedly and threatened with death, and if you still claim to be fine, I would have to question your idea of “fine,” and if there are signs of having suffered trauma in your life that maybe you don’t realize are connected to the abuse.

You are mistaking righteous anger, and a desire to speak out against what I see as a wrong act, for “hate.” I don’t hate anyone. That includes Elizabeth Smart or my abusers.

Most humans make it a mission to have peace and joy. Do you think I wanted to suffer from what happened to me? If you also think that people who suffered severe and prolonged trauma and rape can just “choose” to be happy then you have a problem. I have news for you, positive thinking doesn’t work. Trauma and rape cannot be waved away like a pesky fly.

Maybe you haven’t read “My story.” If you had, you would know that I do live and live well. But it took years of healing. Don’t go around telling survivors of childhood rape and trauma that “it isn’t the worst thing that can happen to them” or that they need to ‘let it go,’ because these are ignorant and insensitive words.

Child sexual abuse causes serious damage in most of those who suffer from it. Maybe you were not seriously damaged, maybe you did not suffer serious abuse.

Riorico says:

When I saw my 5 year old son lying in the street dead after being hit by a car, I learned the hard way there was something worse than being abused.

You OK with that? Am I ‘allowed’ to say that?

You cannot change the bad events in your life but you can certainly change your reaction to them.

I deeply and dearly regret the time I had in his short sweet life wasted with ’suffering’ over my childhood experience, instead enjoying the moments I had with him.

I loved my son and I know he loved me. I know he never wanted to be the cause of my suffering. I am determined to turn my face to the sun and give the children I have left nothing but the full love and joy God gave me to enjoy the short few days we all have on earth.

“What happened to me” no longer rules my days. How much I love and enjoy my child rules my days.

Maybe the Smart family, in the time their child was missing and possibly dead, discovered how short and precious this life is, and won’t allow even one moment wasted with anger or self pity.

I responded:

>When I saw my 5 year old son lying in the street dead after being hit by a car, I learned the hard way there was something worse than being abused.>

Maybe in your experience this is worse. However, you can’t judge what would be “worse” for another person. I am deeply sorry for your loss, I truly am.

>You OK with that? Am I ‘allowed’ to say that?>

I take it you are angry with me over my last comments to you. That’s your right to be angry, but I don’t automatically assume that you hate me.

>You cannot change the bad events in your life but you can certainly change your reaction to them.>

You are incorrect here. This cannot be done for people who have suffered severe trauma and abuse –not unless they have intensive therapy to deal with it. If a person could just “choose” to not react to trauma and prolonged abuse, then the millions and millions of people who suffer with PTSD, deep depression, anxiety attacks, nightmares, and the terrible physical suffering induced by abuse and trauma wouldn’t be suffering right now. The hundreds of thousands of abuse survivors who have committed suicide because their pain was unbearable would certainly disagree with your theory.

>“What happened to me” no longer rules my days. How much I love and enjoy my child rules my days.>

The loss of a child to a car accident is psychologically INCOMPARABLE to child sexual abuse. They are two entirely different kinds of trauma and pain. Both have completely different dynamics.

Please use more compassion with abuse survivors by not labeling them as angry and full of “self pity” because that is going down a very ignorant path.

Riorico responded:

Viktor Frankel wrote the wonderful book “Man’s Search For Meaning, about his experiences as a Nazi death camp survivor — small potatoes compared to YOUR suffering, of course, but his advice is the same as mine. Quit worshiping at the altar of victimhood and live the short days you have on earth as if each one was your last. Conrad Hilton wrote the wonderful ” How To Stop Worrying And Start Living” – for those who want to walk in the light.

I can see you are waaaaay too caught up in yourself to hear what I’m saying, but I hope those reading this, that truly want help, will find these books invaluable.

Therapy is a scam – the answers lie within. God gives us the power to heal ourselves. Forgo the enablers and find your strength within. Being a ‘victim’ is nothing to be proud of.

I responded:

I am not asking for your advice, nor do I require it. Maybe you ought to read books on the unbearable suffering of sexual abuse survivors. Maybe you ought to read about the excruciating psychical pain that they endure. Maybe you ought to read how Holocaust survivors symptoms are often identical to those suffered by victims of incest, including myself. Maybe you ought to educate yourself on the many parallels between prisoners of war and incest survivors.

“Quit worshiping at the altar of victimhood and live the short days you have on earth as if each one was your last.”

Wow, you really are an ignorant human being. [Here I wish I had said, "this is an "ignorant statement" but I was angry when I wrote it and hastily was too harsh]…You say you are so at peace with your loss but you have darkness in your heart. You have no idea what my daily life is like and how I live it. You are arrogant beyond words.

“Conrad Hilton wrote the wonderful ” How To Stop Worrying And Start Living” – for those who want to walk in the light.”

You don’t walk in the light, you walk in your own ego. You pretend that you are so high and mighty, and so balanced, while at the same time you throw psychological garbage on the doorstep of others.

Your books are a waste of time for those who suffer from the multitude of physical and mental debilitation resulting from incest and severe sexual abuse.

“Therapy is a scam – the answers lie within. God gives us the power to heal ourselves. Forgo the enablers and find your strength within. Being a ‘victim’ is nothing to be proud of.”

I wouldn’t be so proud of yourself lady, you are cold and rigid. Your idea of helping someone is scary. [What I meant here is that her aggressive nature is overbearing and lacks human openness] It was Jesus who took my hand and led me to my therapist fifteen years ago when I was suffering and having thoughts of suicide. It was Christ who led me to the help that saved my life, healed my physical suffering, and repaired my mental anguish. Jesus gave others the power to heal in His Name. I could not have healed myself. It was God who healed me, but my therapist was the tool.

Go read your self-help books, see how far they get you later in life when you collapse from having a darkened heart and a self-righteous sense of spirituality, which isn’t spiritual at all.

To read part two in this series, entitled, “Former Miss America, Marilyn Van Derbur, Paralyzed by Incest,”  click here.

To read part three, click here

Hi, my name is Karla Setchel. In the last 22 years, I’ve been diagnosed with Tempolar Mandular Joing Disorder (TMJ), epicondylitis, Fibromyalgia (FMS) and Chronic Fatigue (CSF). All of these conditions involve some inflammation which causes increased pain. While I do use a few medications for flare ups, I try to control my sypmptoms with natural products. One of the products that I’ve found is full of natural antioxidants which are a natural anti-inflammatory. Eiro 5 juice does a very good job of reducing my pain which in turn allows more energy to be directed at things other than dealing with the pain! Eiro 5 has a 2000 ORAC score for a 2 ounce serving – which is the antioxidant equivalent to 5-7 common fruits and vegetables. The FDA states that we should be getting 7-9 servings of fruits and vegatables per day, which most of us don’t. Drinking Eiro 5 is an easy, quick, enjoyable way to get enough antioxidants to fight the inflammation associated with fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, epicondylitis, TMJ and other conditions that involve inflammation of the joints or tissues. For more information on Eiro 5, go to www.KarlaSetchel.com and best wishes to you for a healthier life!

After pregnancy, the most commonly used probiotics might help women better control belly fat, according to WebMD.

In a study from Finland, the probiotics lactobacillus and bifidobacterium were found to decrease central obesity — a body mass index of 30 or more and waist size of more than 31.5 inches.

Only 25% of women who received daily probiotic capsules, plus dietary advice, had central obesity following pregnancy, WebMD reports. That compared to 43% of women given dietary counseling alone.

CFS
Another study, from Toronto, connects beneficial bacteria with decreased anxiety levels in people with chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS).

The double-blind, placebo-controlled study found that a strain of Lactobacillus casei significantly decreased anxiety symptoms in 39 chronic fatigue patients.

The researchers noted that, in addition to this study, past research has shown an association between CFS and intestinal flora imbalances.

Results of the study were published in Gut Pathogens.

A virus called XMRV might be to blame for CFS, according to a report from RedOrbit.com. In a study, the virus, also linked to prostate cancer, was detected in 68 out of 101 CFS sufferers.

The study points out that additional research is needed to determine if the virus is a direct cause of CFS.

There is no known cure for the condition, which affects about 17 million people worldwide. However, people with CFS and fibromyalgia might find relief through cognitive behavioral therapy and nutrition.

RLS, IBS
In addition, a story from the Belleville News-Democrat says there is a link between Restless Legs Syndrome and intestinal bacteria.

In a small study, a gastroenterologist from Washington University in St. Louis looked at how an antibiotic, probiotics and zinc might play a role in relieving irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and RLS.

The doctor studied 13 people who suffered from IBS and RLS. Following treatment, all of the subjects experienced relief from IBS symptoms, and 10 showed improvement in the leg condition, according to the News-Democrat.

Studies suggest probiotics improve digestion, support gut health and strengthen the immune system. A good probiotic supplement should contain 3 billion or more “friendly bacteria.”

Originally Written by: Dr Michael J. Hardy FRSC, FACB

Dr Hardy has served as Associate Professor in a Medical School and as Chief of Chemical Pathology and Acting Head of The Department of Laboratory Medicine in a Teaching Hospital. He has contributed over 30 original publications to the medical literature including such presitigious international publications as The British Medical Journal, The Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, The British Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, The Scandinavian Journal of Clinical and Laboratory Investigation, Hemoglobin, Annals of Clinical Biochemistry, The Journal of Pediatrics and The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism.

The Impact Of Diet On Disease

The relationship between diet and disease has long been of interest to epidemiologists but only in relatively recent times to other health care professionals and members of the public. One of the first and most significant findings was the protective effect against cancer afforded by a diet rich in fruits and vegetables. Interestingly, this has now been expanded to include heart disease, stroke, cataract, age-related macular degeneration, Alzheimer disease and other chronic degenerative diseases.
Research into the molecular basis of chronic degenerative diseases suggests a common mechanism we term free radical damage. Oxygen free radicals produced during normal metabolism attack cellular components such as proteins, lipids and DNA. Damage to different tissues at different sites results in different chronic degenerative diseases. Fortunately, Nature has provided us with the perfect antidote to free radicals – the anti-oxidants. These can be divided into the antioxidant enzymes, “those we make”, and the antioxidant nutrients, “those we take”. Fruits and vegetables are our principle dietary source of antioxidants. The protective benefits they provide may simply derive from the numerous antioxidants (and minerals and other phytochemicals) they contain.
According to Dr Bruce Ames, “Not getting enough fruits and vegetables every day is like standing next to an unguarded X-ray machine.”
There is accumulating evidence that isolated vitamin supplements are ineffective in preventing chronic degenerative diseases. The reason for this is not fully understood. However, it is likely that complex interactions between large numbers of the thousands of micronutrients present in fruits and vegetables are necessary to neutralize free radicals in different cellular systems. Some systems seem to favour specific antioxidants such as lutein, an important antioxidant in the retina, and lycopene, an equally important antioxidant in the prostate. The red pigment in tomatoes, lycopene, also appears to reduce the risk of other cancers including those of breast, ovary, lung, stomach, colon, mouth, esophagus and cervix as well as lowering the risk of heart attack (Heart & Stroke Foundation, 2002). Additional benefits of lycopene may include an improvement in the symptoms of asthma among adults and children and cognitive function in elderly nuns. Perhaps we should all be taking lycopene supplements& or perhaps not. Using a rat model for prostate cancer, researchers found significantly fewer deaths among rats fed tomato powder than those fed lycopene beadlets. It would seem that consumption of tomato, but not lycopene in isolation, inhibited prostate carcinogenesis suggesting that tomato products contain compounds in addition to lycopene that modify carcinogenesis.

Understanding Disease At The Molecular Level
Over the past 25 years, we have seen enormous advances in our understanding of the causes of chronic degenerative diseases such as cancer, heart disease, stroke, diabetes, Alzheimer Disease, arthritis and macular degeneration (to name but a few). This wealth of recent knowledge has opened up many new treatment possibilities but has also allowed each and every one of us to make informed decisions as to how lifestyle and dietary changes can significantly reduce our risk of chronic degenerative disease. We have learned that the nutrition from fruits and vegetables, just as our parents and grandparents told us, is a key factor in living a long and healthy life. In fact, Health Authorities in most developed countries strongly recommend that we all eat 7-10 servings of fresh, preferably raw, fruits and vegetables every day. Sadly, most people are not listening. In practice, the vast majority of us do not even come close to this nutritional requirement.
Over the past 50 years, our diets, and particularly those of our children, have deteriorated drastically. Our increased consumption of ‘convenient’, ‘low-cost’, processed foods, fast foods and soft drinks (at the expense of natural whole foods) is largely to blame. Even with ‘rationing’ and the deprivations of war, Europeans were more healthy in the 1940s than they are today.
In an attempt to compensate for the lack of fresh fruits and vegetables in our diet, many of us have turned to daily multi-vitamin, mineral and even herbal supplements. Unfortunately, results that appeared so promising in the early days, have largely been discredited by larger, more recent studies. At present, there is very little good evidence that isolated or fragmented vitamin, mineral or antioxidant supplements can significantly reduce our risk of developing chronic degenerative disease. This is not because the vitamin C, for example, in an orange is “superior” to or of any “better quality” than the vitamin C in a multi-vitamin tablet. But rather because the vitamin C in an orange is accompanied by literally thousands of additional vitamins, minerals, antioxidants and phytonutrients which are essential for vitamin C to act effectively. What we are talking about here is a balanced diet at the molecular level.

Over 15,000 Studies Published On Oxidative Stress

Imagine yourself as a battlefield. There’s a war going on every second of every day between the forces of good ” the antioxidants ” and the forces of evil – the free radicals. Sadly, for most of us for most of the time, the free radicals are winning. Researchers have a name for this sorry state of affairs: they call it OXIDATIVE STRESS. They have even devised a whole battery of laboratory tests to measure it. Oxidative stress has been found at increased levels in virtually every chronic degenerative disease we have looked for it. We have found it in tumors, in the blood streams of heart and stroke patients, in the brains of victims of Alzheimer and Parkinson disease, in the lungs of asthmatics and in the joints of those crippled by arthritis and rheumatism.

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome And Fibromyalgia

Let me give you an example of how our understanding of the role oxidative stress plays has influenced our approach to the management of chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) and fibromyalgia (FM). CFS describes a group of symptoms that includes, among others, extreme and persistent weakness and exhaustion. Both mental and/or physical fatigue may be present often accompanied by numerous non-specific symptoms involving various body systems. Young, white females are most commonly affected. The cause of CFS remains unknown and early beliefs that a virus is involved have largely been discredited. There is no evidence that the condition is in any way contagious.
FM, previously called fibromyositis, is a poorly understood disorder characterized by generalized fatigue and pain in various muscles, tendons and ligaments. Symptoms may be persistent or recur in episodes lasting a few days at a time. Women age 20-50 are most commonly affected. FM is most likely present when the patient reports tenderness in at least 11 out of 18 characteristically painful sites. Like CFS, a diagnosis of FM is often made by the exclusion of other conditions since no specific clinical or laboratory tests are yet available.
Over the past few years several researchers have demonstrated an association between oxidative stress and both of these conditions. Compared with normal subjects, patients with CFS and FM had higher blood levels of well-established indicators of oxidative stress such as malondialdehyde and pentosidine whose formation is closely associated with oxidative stress. There was also more oxidative damage to DNA and lipids in their muscles. It follows that increasing antioxidant intake may have a role in the management of CFS and help to reduce muscle symptoms.
Scandinavian researchers have recently described patients with FM who switched to a strict uncooked vegan diet (fruits, vegetables, berries, nuts, germinated seeds and sprouts) rich in naturally-occurring antioxidants and other phytochemicals. Compared with a control group of FM patients who continued with their usual (omnivorous) diet, those consuming the vegan diet showed significant improvements in joint pain and stiffness as well as in their quality of sleep and perception of general health. In an earlier study, whole food nutritional supplements resulted in a remarkable reduction in initial symptom severity with continued improvement in patients with FM and CFS.

Green Leafy Vegetables And Eye Disease

Several studies have suggested that a diet rich in green leafy vegetables (preferably not boiled to extinction) may significantly reduce our risk of macular degeneration and cataract. Isolated and fragmented vitamin supplements have been less successful in this regard. Stuart Richer, Chief of Optometry, DVA Medical Center in Chicago has reported that dietary modification with a lutein-rich food can even reverse some of the damaging effects of Age-Related Macular Degeneration.

Alzheimer Disease: Food For Thought

Alzheimer Disease is a cruel fate robbing those affected of both physical and mental faculties often at the end of a long and fruitful life. Sadly, for some, much earlier. In the United States, 40 new cases are diagnosed every hour In Canada, 1 in 50 (age 65-74), 1 in 9 (age 75-84) and 1 in 3 (age 85+) people are affected. The precise cause is largely unknown although recent studies strongly suggest a link to lipid peroxidation, the result of free radical damage to fats. Several hundred studies have already been published on the role of oxidative stress and Alzheimer Disease. Researchers from Rotterdam and Chicago recently reported that fruits and vegetables rich in vitamins C and E, carotenes and bioflavonoids reduced the risk of Alzheimer Disease by between 40% and 70%. Predictably, isolated vitamin C and E supplements had no apparent effect on the risk of developing Alzheimer Disease.

Homocysteine: The Black Sheep Of The Amino Acid Family

Most of the 20 or so amino acids circulating in your blood stream are healthy building blocks for new proteins. Homocysteine is a notable exception. It is a toxic amino acid generally considered to be a clear indicator of our old enemy oxidative stress. A high level of homocysteine in the blood is an independent risk factor for arterial disease and heart attack and may also elevate the risk of cancer and other chronic degenerative diseases including the aforementioned Alzheimer Disease. Lowering your homocysteine level may be the single most effective step that you can take in reducing your risk of developing a degenerative disease or dying prematurely from any cause. At the risk of repeating myself, the best way to lower your homocysteine levels is to reduce oxidative stress. And the best way to reduce oxidative stress is to increase your consumption of fruits and vegetables& fresh, ripe and, for the most part, raw.

Fruits And Vegetables: Nature’s Synergy

In nature, vitamins and minerals are never isolated. They are always provided in whole foods in combination with all of the other nutrients found there, working together in ways science is only beginning to understand. In her book, Biochemistry of Foods and Supplements, Judith DeCava expresses this perfectly: “To isolate or separate a vitamin, mineral, amino acid or other component and call it a nutrient is just as impractical as isolating a steering wheel, battery or carburettor and calling it an automobile. It won’t work without the other parts.”
There are thousands of phytonutrients in every food we eat. Each one we study is proving to play an important role in human health and vitality. Without them, we lay the foundation for a weak immune system and chronic degenerative disease. A traditional vitamin and mineral supplement cannot begin to scratch the surface of this vast array of nutrition.
According to Dr Andrew Weil in his book, Eating Well For Optimum Health, “You will find little or nothing about these phytochemicals in conventional nutrition textbooks and courses, but scientific papers about them are proliferating so rapidly that nutritionists will have to take note.”
Moreover, taking large quantities of specific vitamins and minerals is of questionable benefit to begin with. Supplements should be judged not by how much of a given nutrient they contain, but by how much is actually absorbed by the body. Our bodies only absorb small amounts of nutrients at any single moment, not the huge amounts contained in most synthetic supple¬ments.

Ambulances And Fences

Over the past hundred years, which actually covers most of the history of modern medicine, we have largely focussed our attention on the treatment of disease rather than on its prevention. This is understandable in that the care of the sick has always been and always will be the central medical task. Dennis Burkitt, an Irish Surgeon, with a wonderful sense of humour, put it perfectly. If people are falling over the edge of a dangerous cliff, we can do one of two things& erect a fence at the top or put ambulances at the bottom. Unfortunately, we seem to spend most of our time positioning the ambulances and very little erecting fences.
Had he been alive today, Dennis would probably have been horrified at the increase in chronic degenerative diseases over the past 50 years. He would have been surprised at our singular failure to treat most of these conditions any more successfully than he was able to half a century ago. But above all, he would have been grievously disappointed at the appearance of diseases of the elderly and middle-aged, including Type 2 Diabetes, arthritis and cardiovascular disease, in younger and younger adults and even in children.

Dr Michael J. Hardy November 2004

For those of us who find it difficult to consume the recommended 7 – 10 servings of fresh, ripe, raw fruits and vegetables every day, there are some exciting new alternatives. For more information please contact Libby Gardon at 416-225-3415.

“They said they were just little girls trying to bury their horror in jars around the farm. They wanted somebody to know what happened to them. So, according to authorities, the sisters wrote notes about the years of sexual abuse at the hands of older relatives and hid them in the earth.

Then the children — one was a boy — buried the pain and anguish within themselves. Years would pass. But on Wednesday, authorities came to the farm south of Bates City, Mo., to dig for the notes — and possibly a body.

With a man and his middle-aged sons in jail, investigators descended onto the rural property looking for evidence of rape, sodomy, bestiality and possible homicide.”

Many people will coil in denial over bestiality allegations but this is more common in child sexual abuse cases than people want to believe.

“Four  of Mohler’s sons are also charged: Burrell Edward Mohler Jr., 53, also of Independence; Jared Leroy Mohler, 48, of Columbia; Roland Neil Mohler, 47, of Bates City; and David A. Mohler, 52, of Iowa. According to the charges, each of the men participated in the abuse of the children — all younger than 12. All five defendants were arrested Tuesday in coordinated raids for multiple charges of forcible sodomy and rape after one of the alleged victims, now 26, related grim stories, such as being forced with other children to line up on their knees on a bed where each was assaulted by the men…..

Authorities say the woman suppressed the memories for years, but came forward to Independence police in mid-August with accusations of sexual torment that ran between 1988 — when she was 5 years old — and 1995 — when she had an abortion. “It was a very horrendous crime, and we took it very seriously at that point,” said Lafayette County Sheriff Kerrick Alumbaugh.

The woman, 26, is fearful of the male relatives who participated. Five other alleged victims, now in their 20s and 30s, have since come forward with information supporting her claims, according to court documents. Investigators also see a “strong possibility” of more victims, Alumbaugh said at a press conference Wednesday in Lexington. So is finding a body, Alumbaugh said….The five men were charged with 14 felonies, including forcible sodomy and forcible rape with a child less than 12 years old and use of a child in a sexual performance. The sheriff said he expected more charges to be filed….”

As you can see, child victims often repress memories of severe and prolonged trauma and abuse. Experts say that at least ten percent of all victims of child sexual abuse will completely repress their memories of what happened. Almost sixty-percent of victims repress a small, or even a large portion, of their experiences.

“Right now what our main focus is the glass jars and trying to locate them,” said Cpl. Bill Lowe of the Missouri Highway Patrol. “Those jars have that information.” He said several acres of land at the location about 20 miles east of Kansas City would be searched. “They were told by adults in the family that if they bury their bad memories, they will go away,” Sgt. Collin Stosberg of the Lafayette County Sheriff’s Department told the Columbia Daily Tribune.”

Sexual abusers often tell their victims that they need to forget what is happening. Wouldn’t it be something if the abuser’s instructions of burying the memories came back to haunt them in the form of evidence with these notes in jars?

“The woman who came forward alleged that the abuse against her began at age 5, when the girls were forced to “rotate” sleeping in the same bed as the senior Mohler. The victim alleged the girls wore special dresses and had flowers in their hair for their “weddings.” In one such occasion, the woman said she was married to another of the men and had sex with him in a camper outside. She said her abortion occurred before her 12th birthday.

The abuse occurred at other places than the Old Concord Road property, including out of the state, the woman alleged. Some of the abuse allegedly involved the boy…

Deborah Burris, who has lived across the street from Burrell Mohler Sr. for several years, described him as a friendly, helpful neighbor. “We didn’t even know he had sons. We didn’t know anyone but Burrell himself,” Burris said……“Police came in and put handcuffs on him and led him away,” said John Sellars, university president. “It was all very quiet and subdued.” “We were stunned,” Sellars said. “At this point these are allegations, and of course we need to hear more because I don’t know very much at this point.” He said that he spoke to David Mohler’s wife Tuesday and that she also was shocked.Sellars described him as “a very nice person who got along well with his colleagues.”

Isn’t this always the case? Friends, relatives and neighbors are often “shocked” at the allegations, describe the accused as “friendly and helpful” and say they want more evidence before they will believe the charges. However, even when the evidence is overwhelming, friends, neighbors and relatives often refuse to believe that their nice neighbor or loved one could possibly harm a child. Subsequently, child sexual abuse continues under a blanket of denial.

KansasCity.com,   Donald Bradley, Kansas City Star

Judi Vance has dedicated her life to educating the public about the harmful ingredients in cosmetics. She is presently campaigning to have these harmful ingredients totally banned. She publishes a newsletter called The Cosmetic Health Report and is the author of Beauty to Die For: the Cosmetic Consequence.

My journey into cosmetic research began about ten years ago when I was told I would not recover my health. I was suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, allergies and immunological defect; I was having 10 to 12 seizures a day, and walking with two canes. I had always been a heavy user of cosmetics, and began to suspect in particular the acrylic nails I had used for years, so I began to research the ingredients they use.

INGREDIENTS IN COSMETICS Cosmetics are anything that we apply to our bodies including soap, toothpaste, shampoo, mouthwash, deodorant and shaving cream. There isn’t one person I have ever met who knew anything about cosmetics, and that is because the chemistry of cosmetics has always been cloaked in secrecy. The United States has had labelling laws for the last 20 years, but here in Canada there are no labels on containers. We need to let Health Canada know how seriously we need labels to disclose what is actually in these products.

MOLECULES WHICH PENETRATE THE BODY When you put a coating of creme or shaving gel on your face, these chemicals penetrate the skin and get inside the body, but not everything you put on your skin is actually going to be absorbed. Some molecules are too large to get in, but some are very tiny and can stay in the body for many days. Everyone used to think the skin is the perfect barrier, but one of the transport systems that takes these harmful ingredients into the body is the hair follicle.

SODIUM LAURYL SULFATE Sodium lauryl sulfate is a very strong surfactant that was developed for washing garage floors. The problem is that it denatures protein, and the body is made up of protein. Sodium lauryl sulfate is used in shampoos, toothpaste, lotions and creams. Research shows that it causes damage to the eyes, the cells and the entire body. It can combine with other ingredients in the container and create nitrosamines which cause skin damage and irritation. A dental association in Japan tested sodium lauryl sulfate on bacteria, and found that it is a mutagen which means that it can change the genetics within the cell. In children under six, just the absorption of this ingredient through the scalp every day is enough to prevent their eye proteins from linking up properly. These harmful ingredients are banned in Europe and Central America. Sodium laureth sulfate is also a toxic surfactant (milder but has ether added which is worse) used in shampoos and toothpastes.

PROPYLENE GLYCOL This is anti-freeze. If it spills in the garage, we wipe it up right away because we know that dogs and cats lick it and could die from it. The manufacturer of propylene glycol actually sends out a safety data sheet which states that when applied to the skin it causes liver abnormalities and kidney damage. Propylene glycol has the ability to get into the skin, into the blood stream and into the body where it is stored for days and weeks at a time. It can actually alter brain waves to a state of anxiety. Propylene glycol is used in most cosmetic products, as well as food products like ice cream and muffins. It is a humectant and holds in the moisture. It is used in practically every single lipstick on the market, so has clear access to the limbic system of the brain.

COLOURANTS I wore red lipstick for years and years, and I don’t wear it anymore. I don’t trust anybody’s reds. If you took FD & C Red No.3, which is found in a great deal of cosmetics and put it into a petrie dish with breast tissue, you will find breast cancer. This ingredient is still on the market, and we know it causes cancer.

NAIL POLISH The nails do absorb chemicals from nail polish, remover and the glue used with acrylic nails.

CONTAMINANTS These contaminants do not appear on the label. It is not the cosmetic manufacturers who cause the contamination, but the suppliers of the raw materials. What we want in the industry is to have the actual raw materials cleaned up. Contamination can occur from the cleaning of the plants or from the solvents they use, and most of the products on the market are contaminated. DEA (diethanol amine) is widely used in shampoos, and scientists have been reporting that DEA, whether or not it’s a DEA cocamide, mixes with the nitrogen-containing molecule in the same container and creates nitrosamines which get into your body and are carcinogens. Sometimes ingredients which aren’t harmful alone may go on to create a formaldehyde or a contaminant. In a recent study, they tested 54 ethoxylated moisturizing ingredients, and found all 54 of them contained exceedingly high levels of 1,4 dioxane which is a powerful xeno-estrogen.

XENO-ESTROGENS Women today have so many problems with their hormones being out of balance with PMS and menopausal symptoms, and this shouldn’t be because it doesn’t occur in Third World countries, China or Japan. Menopause is a North American disease and it may just be that we have created it through cosmetic use. We have a major problem with hormone mimickers like xeno-estrogens affecting our endocrine systems. A xeno-estrogen communicates with our cells as if it were an estrogen. Many ingredients in cosmetics have the ability to be a xeno-estrogen. If found in a shampoo, it can lower the sperm count in men! And any exposure between the ages of birth to about six years old can definitely alter a child’s hormones. So I always say “Mothers if you want your boys to grow up to be cowboys don’t put them in a bubble bath!”

EXTRACTION PROCESS We hear a lot today about ingredients coming from natural sources like coconuts. But to get the oil from a coconut and put it into a container of shampoo or face cream, it has to go through some type of chemical process, and in this process, many contaminants are formed. Many of us are not aware that essential oils and other products have been extracted from the plant with solvents like propylene glycol and benzene. There are better ways of doing this such as cold pressing, natural extractions and distilling.

FRAGRANCES Fragrance goes straight into the limbic system of the brain. A friend of mine who is a great researcher sent me some scans of people’s brains before and after being exposed to fragrance. Perfumes and fragrances are actually made of 5,000 hydrocarbons which are all synthetics. There are no roses pressed into that beautiful bottle. When a person’s body begins to break down, the first thing that happens is they become sensitive to perfumes, room sprays, laundry detergents, etc. We are actually absorbing and breathing these in, and the Environmental Protection Agency lists them as causing nervous disorders and brain disorders, and they are investigating a connection between fragrance and multiple sclerosis, chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. Anything that a person is breathing in should be absolutely natural, and if you are using essential oils you must make sure that they have not been processed with some type of chemical solvent like propylene glycol or benzene.

ESSENTIAL OILS You cannot assume that the natural essential oils are all naturally processed. Most of them are contaminated, since 95% of companies extract the essential oil with solvents like propylene glycol, and they don’t tell you because it’s still considered pure oil. When it’s contaminated like this, the healing properties of the plant are diminished. Synthetic essential oils are also on the market, and these cannot do the same thing as the natural product. Most of the essential oils must be checked to make sure they are not synthetic and that the extraction process is natural (steam distilled). It is under investigation right now, and will be reported in my newsletters.

BABY PRODUCTS CONTAIN PETROLEUM BY-PRODUCTS AND CARCINOGENS Because shampoos irritate baby’s eyes, they put an ingredient called ethylene oxide in the shampoo. Look on the Internet; you won’t find one report which doesn’t call it a carcinogen. It loads their system up with 1,4 dioxane. Another problem with baby products is that they contain an enormous amount of petroleum by-products like mineral oil and petrolatum, and petroleum by-products can be contaminated with polycyclic hydrocarbons, dangerous carcinogens. Babies do not have immune systems which are able to tolerate these chemicals, so it’s very important to have all baby products reevaluated. There is enough fluoride in a tube of toothpaste to kill a child. Children sometimes take too much on their toothbrush and swallow quite a lot.

MELATONIN Not all synthetics are bad. Not one drop of melatonin on the market is natural; it is all synthetically derived, and yet we know that melatonin works and it is not harmful to the body. The synthetic molecule is identical to the natural molecule. It’s just that they had to kill thousands and thousands of horses originally to get enough of the natural substance to run studies in the first place. So in some instances, it is preferable to use the synthetic rather than the natural form of the ingredient.

RECIPES My book has a chapter with recipes for making your own cosmetics, but the problem with making your own cosmetics is that the oils in the cremes are so heavy that they do not allow your skin to breath and expel toxins, so you have to be very careful about that. These days moisturizers are formulated using silicone which forms a mesh-like covering on the skin which allows your skin to breathe.

LET’S CLEAN UP THE PRODUCTS Cosmetic ingredients are not regulated by the government. The industry is self-regulating. You must educate yourselves and demand that the manufacturers use safe ingredients and processes like vacuum stripping to remove the contaminants. This will increase the price of the raw material by about five times, but the cosmetic industry usually has maybe 5 to 15 cents worth of ingredients in it and the rest has all been going to profit, so there is plenty of room for change. Keep up to date with ongoing changes in cosmetic formulating by reading my free newsletter The Cosmetic Health Report which has critiques on cosmetic manufacturing companies, product spotlights, lobbying updates, cosmetic recipes and free seminars.

* * * You may contact Judi at The Cosmetic Health Report phone: 604-683-6312; fax: 604-681-4445; website: www.cosmetichealthreport.com

Candida albicans is a yeast that is normally present in our gastrointestinal tract, skin, and vaginal tract in women. Under normal circumstances it remains in those places causing no harm whatsoever. However, it is quite common for candida to grow out of control and cause many debilitating symptoms. An overgrowth of candida is probably one of the most common conditions that I see in patients with digestive disturbances. But it doesn’t stop there. Candida can cause (directly or indirectly) any of the following symptoms or conditions: irritable bowel syndrome, leaky gut syndrome, bloating, constipation, diarrhea, GERD, sinusitis and chronic sinus problems, inability to lose weight, thyroid imbalances, headaches, vaginitis, chronic fatigue, “foggy-headedness” or inability to concentrate, food allergies or sensitivities, pre-menstrual syndrome or dysmenorrhea, skin rashes, depression, pain, yeast infections, and more. The question now is: why does it grow out of control?

There can be any number of reasons that someone has an overgrowth of yeast. The main thing to think of however, is a person’s diet. And the main culprit in the diet is definitely sugar. This obviously includes foods like pies, cakes, cookies, candy, ice cream, soda, donuts, brownies, and the like. However, even so-called natural sugars like honey, maple syrup, brown rice syrup, agave nectar, corn syrup, brown sugar, fruit and fruit juices are problematic as well. One more “food group” needs to be added to the list. I’m referring to refined grains and flour products. This would include bread (even whole grain), cereals (even sugar-free), muffins, croissants, pancakes, waffles, etc.. Although these foods are not sugar per se, they quickly get metabolized into sugar (or glucose). Additionally, any foods that actually contain yeast or fungus will certainly be a problem. And don’t forget alcohol, as that is certainly a very refined “sugar”.

The problem with these foods and sugar is that they actually “feed” the yeast or candida. It is synonymous with adding gasoline to a fire. So in order to quell a yeast or candida problem, one MUST avoid these foods temporarily. Other factors leading to an overgrowth of yeast or candida include a weakened immune system, nutrient deficiencies (particularly certain minerals), and use of antibiotics. All of the above can lead to an imbalance between the amount of “good” and “bad” bacteria in the intestines. This imbalance in intestinal or vaginal bacteria can be both a cause and effect depending on how the problem began. The length of time it takes for this condition (and it’s related symptoms) to resolve will depend on many factors including: the amount of candida in the system, the strength of the immune system, intestinal and digestive integrity, and nutrient status.

In addition to dietary changes, supplements are usually necessary to fully eradicate the problem. Think of dietary changes (i.e.: avoiding sugars and refined grains) as a way of starving the yeast. Specific supplements on the other hand can actually “kill-off” candida as some can act as natural anti-yeast or anti-fungals. Additionally, certain supplements that address mineral deficiencies and help strengthen the immune system can often be necessary. And lastly, probiotics (or “good” bacteria) as well as digestive enzymes and/or hydrochloric acid may be necessary.

In general, this can be an easy condition to eliminate, IF you avoid sugar and yeast-containing foods. Besides the obvious sugary foods and flour products, it’s often also necessary to avoid eating fermented, fungus/mold-containing, and aged foods such as: vinegar, mushrooms, aged cheeses, soy sauce, and also peanuts and corn (they often contain a fungus or mold known as aflatoxin). High starch vegetables like potatoes, carrots and beets can be an issue in very stubborn cases. The extent that these dietary changes need to be in place will certainly vary individually. Although, I would say a minimum of three weeks is necessary, and it would be wise to avoid pure sugar-containing foods afterward in order to prevent a recurrence.

If you don’t avoid eating the above mentioned foods, the situation usually becomes a vicious cycle. Eating sugar and refined carbohydrates feeds the yeast, and disrupts the balance between the “good” and “bad” bacteria in the intestinal and/or vaginal tract. This will result in a weakened immune system and altered gastrointestinal integrity which causes the yeast to continue to grow out of control. This will ultimately result in more immune compromise, allowing the yeast to continue to grow; and so on. As you can see, without changing your food intake, it can be very difficult to clear up this problem.

Please keep in mind that vaginal yeast infections almost always indicate a gastrointestinal overgrowth of yeast. And candida and yeast infections do not discriminate…men are just as susceptible as women to succumbing to the deleterious effects of candida in any part of the body. The worst two cases of yeast infections I’ve “seen” in my patients were among a male and a female.

Because this is such a rampant problem with potential “far-reaching” effects, it would be wise to rule this in or out in many different symptoms and conditions.

Dr. Robert D’Aquila – NYC Chiropractor – Applied Kinesiology

Some time ago – probably back in 2007 – I bought a book called ‘365 Ways to Change the World,’ by Michael Norton. I wanted to make a difference in the world in which I live – to give something back as it where. As a Christian there are many ways for me to do so, but I also wanted to make a difference in more mundane matters and ways also. Of course I know that Christians are able and currently do make a difference in a variety and plethora of ways. I was looking for something a little different to the norm I guess.

Anyhow, I came across this book and thought that this would be a great book to read one day at a time – as the book suggests one action/theme for each day of the year. This book would give me plenty of food for thought and there would have to be many things that I could do or participate in to make a difference.

Not long after I bought the book my world was turned upside down and became something totally different to what I had up till then been living. Totally is probably not the right word, as some things didn’t change – but it was certainly life-changing.

I chose to leave my job in an organisation for which I had worked for nearly twenty years, the last few of which I was a manager. My health was terrible, with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome causing absolute havoc. I moved from the area in which I was living to a totally different location and under different circumstances, and that without a job. Life had changed tremendously for me and all of my belongings were locked away in a storage shed until I could sort my life out and start afresh.

I got another job which was completely different to the one I had before. My health seemed to improve dramatically and the dreaded illness which had plagued for two decades seemed to finally disappear. Then I had a terrible car accident which almost killed me and prolonged this transitory period of my life.

Now finally, I have recently been able to get all my belongings out of storage – including this book by Michael Norton. It is therefore now time to start again what I had originally planned to do and had begun back in 2007. I will read the section of the book marked out for each calendar day and consider what I shall do with the actions/themes for that day. It may be that there will be days that I will not take up the suggested action or activity, while on other days I may very well throw myself into the suggested action or activity. What I am hopeful of is finding at least one action or activity, though I am fairly sure there will be far more than one action or activity that I will participate in to some extent.

I will probably report my attempts or at least my resolutions to engage in actions and activities here, as a way of showing whether this book is useful for assisting people in making a difference. After all, its subtitle is ‘How to make a difference – one day at a time.’ As I set out on my journey with this book, I am quite excited by the prospect of making that difference and becoming more engaged with the world in which I live – in a positive manner.

I think the book is a brilliant idea and something that most people would find helpful – even if they do everything that is suggested in the book. It is certainly packed with ideas and suggestions.

There is also a web site to use along with the book:

http://www.365act.com

All of the ideas in the book are included in the web site and many more according to the book. There is also an ‘ideas bank’ on ways of changing the world for the better – which also seems to be a brilliant idea I think.

OK, I will now look at today’s idea.

My copy of the book (paperback) is by Penguin Books ( www.penguin.com.au ) and was printed in 2006.