Eu como todos vocês (no bom sentido é claro) odeio aqueles .pps com correntes que se você mandar para 13 pessoas a Megan Fox vai cair no teu colo ou você vai ganhar na mega sena e se acaso não o fizer algo de muito ruim vai acontecer com você. Pois bem  eu não acredito e deleto todos seja qual for o remetente, porém hoje em minha caixa de emails eu tenho o seguinte email ” Fortaleza pronta para a Copa de 2014” já estava com o dedo no delete quando vi que foi o meu Irmão quem mandou resolvi abrir, era um famigerado .pps mas como foi o meu irmão “Dandy” (apelido dele) quem mandou resolvi dar um crédito e não é que foi bom.

O pps tinha um monte de fotos com frases de placas das quais eu “Ri Litros” – sempre quis usar essa expressão em um texto, (lugar comum) – e vou compartilhar algumas delas com “Vois miceis”.

Aqui temos o lugar perfeito para o nosso maior e mais poderoso herói de todos os tempos passar desapercebido enquanto nos observa. Chuck Norris sabe tudo até mudou o nome para ninguém desconfiar.

Outro herói não tão poderoso mas não menos importante também encontrou o seu recanto onde pode continuar a montar as suas bugigangas e ainda ganhar um trocado. “Ele sempre dá um jeitinho“

Na onda do faz tudo esse cara vai de arrumar bolsas a disco voadores, pena que o telefone foi apagado.

Para quem quiser rir bastante aqui vai o link para baixar o .pps (não é vírus).
Fortaleza pronto para Copa 2014.pps

Tehnične težave so onemogočile snemanje zadnjih dveh tekem. Se opravičujem MVPju in njegovima soigralcema, da njihov izjemni comeback in superiorna igra nista za vekomaj zabeležena v elektronski obliki.

1. tekma

2. tekma

Jonah Hex

Omelete ha sacado la primera imagen oficial de Josh Brolin como Jonah Hex, la cual se estrena el 18 de junio del 2010.

Jonah Hex la protaniza Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Megan Fox, Will Arnett y Michael Shannon.

No sé ustedes pero para mí tiene un aire de Chuck Norris en su papel de Walker, Texas Ranger. Y eso, eso siempre está bien.

Dia 19/11 é o dia internacional do homem e como eu fiquei muito bêbado comemorando não consegui postar nada… então pra pararem de me encher o saco eu coloco aqui 13 motivos do por que de um homem merecer seu dia… e queria lembrar que 19/11 é o dia do homem, o dia do macho, cafajeste e foda é o aniverário do mestre Chuck Norris e não dia 19/11.

13 Motivos para a criação do dia do homem.

1) Quem é obrigado a erguer os pés quando ela está fazendo faxina?
R: O prestativo homem!

2) Quem se veste como pingüim no dia do matrimônio?
R: O humilde homem!

3) Quem é que, apesar do cansaço e do stress, jamais poderá fingir um orgasmo?
R: O sincero homem!

4) Quem é obrigado a sustentar a amante esbanjadora?
R: O abnegado homem!

5) Quem se expõe ao stress por chegar em casa e não encontrar a comida quentinha, as crianças com o banho tomado, a roupa lavada,a cozinha limpa e o drink já posto sobre a mesa?
R: O doce homem!

6) Quem corre o risco de ser assaltado e morto na saída da boate, cada vez que participa dessas reuniões noturnas com os amigos,enquanto a mulher está bem segura em casa na sua caminha quentinha?
R: O desprotegido homem!

7) Quem é o encarregado de matar as baratas da casa?
R: O valente homem!

8 ) Quem é que toma banho e se veste em menos de vinte minutos?
R: O ágil homem!

9) Quem é que tem de gastar somas em dinheiro comprando presentes para o dia das mães, da esposa, da secretária e outras festas inventadas pelo homem para satisfazer à mulher?
R: O dadivoso homem!

10) Quem jamais conta uma mentira?
R: O ético homem!

11) Quem é obrigado a ver a mulher com os rolinhos nos cabelos e cara cheia de cremes?
R: O compreensivo homem!

12) Quem tem que passar por uma TPM calado todo mês?
R: O calmo homem!

13) Quem está lendo isso às escondidas para poder dar boas risadas, já que se for surpreendido corre o risco de ser agarrado pelo pescoço?
R: O indefeso homem!

DEUS ABENÇOE O SANTO Santo Homem !!!!

There have been at least a thousand different films about arrogant rookies who endure basic training and make their new commanding officer proud.

We have had army, air force and marines but has their ever been one about US Coast Guard? Furthermore, do we need one?

The Guardian stars Kevin Costner as Ben Randall, a grizzled veteran of the Coast Guard who has developed a lengthy and infamous career as a rescue swimmer. Swimmers are the men we see jumping out of helicopters to help address the situation in the water before a victim is rescued by the helicopter.

One night, Randall has a rescue go horrifically wrong and the incident forces his commander, Capt. William Hadley (Clancy Brown) to send Randall to the Academy to train new swimmers. Randall feels crippled and to make matters worse his estranged wife, Helen (Sela Ward) leaves him.

In Randall’s first class, a new upstart Jake Fischer (Ashton Kutcher) beckons to break all Randall’s records and yearns to become the greatest swimmer the Academy has ever seen.

As basic training continues, Randall’s “no-holds-barred” training ruffles a lot of feathers with his fellow teachers and the cadets. However, Fischer is relentless.

Can Randall break Fischer? What is Fischer’s secret? Will Ben Randall ever get over the incident?

‘The Guardian’ is directed by Andrew Davis whose long career in Hollywood has spawned a lot of memorable action films. Davis’s first film that really established him as an up-incoming director was ‘Code of Silence’ which still stands as one of Chuck Norris’s strongest films from the mid 1980s.

He was responsible for introducing us to Steven Seagal in ‘Above the Law’ and for the very under-rated action film ‘The Package’ with Gene Hackman in the late 1980s. The early 1990s found Davis re-teaming with Seagal for ‘Under Siege’ which is still Seagal’s best film to date. Finally in 1993, Davis directed his most famous film when he re-imagined the classic TV series ‘The Fugitive’ with Harrison Ford.

After the Fugitive, it seems that Davis lost his way. All his movies post-Fugitive were overly long, cliched and disasters at the box office. He found some redemption when he directed the family film, ‘Holes’ which rejuvenated his struggling career and showed that Davis wasn’t a one genre director. Sadly, ‘The Guardian’ will not be his return to fine form in the action genre.

The film is solidly directed and has fine performances from both Kutcher and Costner but like so many Davis films before it, the film suffers the same curse as his recent track record.

The film feels like it could have ended at least six times. This film could have easily lost 30-40 minutes in the editing room.

I liked the open sea sequences which were ripe with intensity and danger. The Academy scenes were stable but nothing really new was explored. At times it felt like an instructional presentation on the Coast Guard.

I also felt that the film never allowed any of the supporting characters to materialize as anything more than tools to tell the overly long and drawn out story.

The perfect example of wasted screen time was Sela Ward playing the estranged wife, yet again. I really love Ward and always hoped she would find that plum role that would work but it seems as if she did all her great performances on TV.

I wanted this to be a showcase to what Davis gave us back in the early 90s but instead he seems to lack confidence. I think what would help Davis a lot would to be find a skilled editor who can make his films clean, sleek and under 140 minutes.

3 out of 5

So Says the Soothsayer.

Legend of Zelda feat. Mike Jones

Download:

Lots more weird mixes (like Clockwork) over there.

Here is a work in progress list of Martial Arts Movies (note that many of these movies have different names in other countries, I have chosen the most common US names for the movies).  I have highlighted the ones that I have seen already.

Above the Law     (Steven Seagal)

Battle Creek Brawl     (Jackie Chan)

Big Trouble in Little China     (Kurt Russell)

(The) Black Mask     (Jet Li)

Bloodsport     (Jean-Claude Van Damme)

(The) Chinese Connection     (Bruce Lee)

Cradle 2 the Grave     (Jet Li)

(The) Enforcer     (Jet Li)

Enter the Dragon     (Bruce Lee)

Firewalker     (Chuck Norris)

First Strike     (Jackie Chan)

Fist of Legend     (Jet Li)

Fists of Fury     (Bruce Lee)

(The) Forbidden Kingdom     (Jackie Chan, Jet Li)

Game of Death     (Bruce Lee)

Good Guys Wear Black     (Chuck Norris)

Gorgeous     (Jackie Chan)

Hard Target     (Jean-Claude Van Damme)

Hard to Kill     (Steven Seagal)

(The) Karate Kid

(The) Karate Kid 2

(The) Karate Kid 3

Kung Fu     (David Carradine)

Kiss of the Dragon     (Jet Li)

(The) Legend of the Drunken Master     (Jackie Chan)

Lethal Weapon 4     (Jet Li)

Lone Wolf McQuade     (Chuck Norris)

Meltdown     (Jet Li)

(The) Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor     (Jet Li)

(The) Next Karate Kid

(The) Octagon     (Chuck Norris)

Once Upon a Time in China     (Jet Li)

Once Upon A Time in China 2     (Jet Li)

Once Upon a Time in China 3     (Jet Li)

(The) One     (Jet Li)

Only the Strong     (Mark Dacascos)

Operation Condor     (Jackie Chan)

Out for Justice     (Steven Seagal)

(The) Quest     (Jean-Claude Van Damme)

Return of the Dragon     (Bruce Lee)

Romeo Must Die     (Jet Li)

Rumble in the Bronx     (Jackie Chan)

Rush Hour     (Jackie Chan)

Rush Hour 2     (Jackie Chan)

Rush Hour 3     (Jackie Chan)

Shanghai Noon     (Jackie Chan)

Shanghai Knights     (Jackie Chan)

Sidekicks     (Chuck Norris)

Street Fighter     (Jean-Claude Van Damme)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Secret of the Ooze

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3

Timecop     (Jean-Claude Van Damme)

(The) Tuxedo     (Jackie Chan)

Under Siege     (Steven Seagal)

Universal Soldier     (Jean-Claude Van Damme)

Unleashed     (Jet Li)

War     (Jet Li, Jason Statham)

Oturanlar: Cengiz Çandar, Ekrem Dumanlı, Yalçın Doğan, Uğur Dündar, Sedat Ergin

FB – BJK maçından sonra Ürrüyet spor için vitaminli damat ercan önderliğinde maçı yorumlayan kadro. İlerideki derbiler için farklı kadro önerilerim aşağıdadır… Vitaminli damadın dikkatine…

Ayaktakiler: Ajdar, Kobra Murat, Avşar kızı, Yıldo, M.Ali Erbil

Kartal duruşundakiler: Cüneyt Arkın, Leung Kar Yan, Van Damme, Chuck Norris, Chen Kuan Tai

Se tem um problema com muitos softwares para Linux não é a qualidade, mas o nome. Ás vezes o autor original dá um nome ao programa que não tem nada de estranho em seu país, mas que em outros fica bem engraçado. Alguém conhece o TkGate?

Estes dias tivemos uma aula na faculdade sobre Software Livre, e me surpreendeu a ignorância de meus colegas de sala com relação ao tema.

A começar pelo professor, uma pessoa já experiente, mas que tem como opinião que as faculdades de Maringá deveriam ensinar Delphi para os alunos. Só isso, já que é o que o mercado de Maringá necessita. Houve muita discussão sobre este tema específico há uns anos atrás entre os professores do departamento, mas não chegou-se a um consenso. Alguns passaram a ensinar algoritmo utilizando Python, outros continuaram com o Pascal e outros com a pseudo-linguagem, enquanto outros queriam que fosse Java. Mas deixa este assunto pra lá.

Pois bem, é incrível a visão limitada que o pessoal tem. Ouvi cada besteira durante esta aula, já que eu era o único no recinto que parecia conhecer um pouco mais de software livre (deixei clara minha situação de utilizador, ainda não efetivamente desenvolvedor, por falta de sei-lá-o-que).

Aqui em Maringá (norte do Paraná) formou-se uma associação entre empresas de desenvolvimento de software (APL Software Maringá) com o objetivo de tornar Maringá uma referência em desenvolvimento de software. Mas ainda sofremos muitos problemas, como a ideia – assustadora para mim – de “fábrica de software”, junto com a visão dos empresários de que o programador é algo descartável dentro da organização – numa palestra uns anos atrás um dos donos de uma destas empresas chegou a chamar nós programadores de “Merda”. As aspas aqui entraram sem querer, já que ele disse exatamente isto: Merda.

Junta-se isso à incrível dependência que as empresas têm de determinados software proprietário (basicamente tudo gira em torno de plataformas proprietárias: sistema operacional, linguagem de programação, ambiente de desenvolvimento, banco de dados, arquitetura de processador, servidor web, etc), quando por exemplo há uma tendência crescente de produtos multiplataforma, impossível com as plataformas utilizadas pelas empresas aqui na cidade.

Eu tentava argumentar que ao menos a utilização de plataformas abertas seria benéfico se as empresas de Maringá e principalmente nós programadores quiséssemos expandir nossas possibilidades além do que Maringá necessita no momento.

Mas escutava cada besteira. Muitos dos alunos nem queriam saber da aula. Era bem enfadonha. Mas eu não poderia deixar que o professor passasse aquela ideia distorcida de Software Livre/Open Source aos alunos. Não, não briguei, só procurei expor minhas ideias querendo que eles ao menos escutassem… Em vão.

Mas deixa isso pra lá que já me estressei muito por causa disso.

Fui então atrás de programas parecidos com o Delphi, não para achar algo melhor, pois sei que trata-se de um ambiente tecnicamente superior em muitos aspectos, mas me incomodou a forma como os alunos não conheciam nada que não fosse Delphi e nem queriam saber de nada que fosse “pior”.

Compilei aqui o Lazarus e o Gambas3 aqui no computador e fui “brincar”.

O Gambas é algo mais restrito, por funcionar plenamente  somente em GNU/Linux e outros Unix, mas não funcionar graficamente (IDE) no Windows.

Já o Lazarus é multiplataforma, e segue o lema “Write once, compile anywhere”. Ambas as IDEs são escritas utilizando a si mesmas, ou seja, se você sabe utilizar o Larazus, pode melhorar o próprio Lazarus.

Se você sabe programar em Gambas, pode melhorar o próprio Gambas! Mas este argumento entrou por uma orelha e entrou por outra, afinal “Já temos o Delphi que é tudo, pra que isso daí?”. O próprio professor dizia que não via a necessidade da existência de inúmeras linguagens de programação. Para ele deveriam só existir umas três. E só.

Isto daqui não é um tutorial, mas aqui vão imagens de minhas aventuras de dois dias com estas ferramentas. Nota: não sei programar em Gambas e só um pouco em Pascal. Estas ferramentas são muito fáceis de aprender. Aliás, me surpreendi muito com a quantidade de componentes no Gambas. Ele é extremamente completo.

Brincando no Lazarus:

Agora um navegador Web bastante completo e completamente funcional que criei no Gambas em pouquíssimos  cliques. Ele tem menus, é 100% compatível com os padrões Web (usa WebKit) e tem até histórico de navegação!

Aqui o projeto do Navegador aberto no Gambas:

Não cheguei a criar nada que fizesse coisas como acessar banco de dados, mas entre os exemplos que vêm no Gambas há aplicações que fazem isso de forma extremamente bem não devendo nada ao Delphi ou VisualStudio.

É claro que estas aplicações não são tão boas quanto os concorrentes proprietários. Mas fazem tudo que boa parte dos projetos precisam: acessar banco de dados, imprimir em impressora, criar jogos com suporte á OpenGL, dentre outros. Fiquei particularmente surpreso com os exemplos que vêm no Gambas. São desde players de vídeo, jogos, etc. E o melhor: O Lazarus é multiplataforma, e ambos já funcionam em processadores não-intel (aplicativos embarcados? Alguém?), e são de graça! Mas precisam do carinho dos desenvolvedores (principalmente o Lazarus). Precisam mesmo.

Fico por aqui por hoje. Não sou um programador de “arrastar janelas”, mesmo não tendo nada contra, mas só quero dizer que se você gosta deste tipo de programas, o Linux é um bom lugar para você, e por um preço muito acessível e vantagens que vão além do que você pode enxergar no momento.

Links:

Lazarus: http://lazarus.frespascal.org
Gambas: http://gambas.sf.net

Atualizado: Acabei de instalar o Debian numa Máquina Virtual do QEMU emulando um processador ARM e vou testar o Gambas e o Lazarus nesta plataforma para ver se rodam bem.

Atualizado2: Para não falarem mal por eu estar utilizando um software em estado ALPHA (Gambas 3), posto uma imagem da versão estável (Gambas 2), que como o nome diz é mais estável, mas que têm alguns recursos a menos (na maioria componentes), como o componente WebKit, etc:

Uns dias atrás falei sobre a Banda Djavu. Agora criei coragem e resolvi postar um vídeo deles aqui para que voces vejam o QUÃO RUIM é essa banda e a quantas anda o gosto musical do povo.

É DE EXTREMA IMPORTÂNCIA A PRESENÇA DE UM PADRE, UM EXORCISTA, E DO CHUCK NORRIS ANTES DE VOCÊ APERTAR O PLAY.

Este Blog não se responsabiliza por tímpanos perfurados, possíveis lobotomias e/ou perda total do bom senso durante a exibição do vídeo abaixo. Se você é sensível, não assista a esse vídeo. Vá fumar  8 quilos de crack de uma vez só que vai fazer menos mal.

OBS: pra quem gosta da fruta, tem umas piranhas dançarinas que até dá pra encarar numa sexta-feira chuvosa. Quem não gosta da fruta pode aproveitar e aprender a coreografia.

ill add more later, after my internet starts working faster. i have 10 favorites to put on here

I’m madder than Al Sharpton with a busted bullhorn! I’ve heard about that affirmative action stuff but this is crazy!

It’s bad enough they gave the Teleprompter Kid one of those Peace Prizes for not doing anything. But now the South Koreans gave him a black belt in karate – even though he’s never had a lesson!

Jesse Jackson just said if you voted against socialist medicine, you couldn’t call yourself a black man, but I guess even if you don’t know karate, you can still call yourself a black belt!

The less Obama does, the more prizes he gets! He’s like one of the retarded kids at the Special Olympics or something. Hey, he did say his bowling was better than theirs, right? That’s something to brag about.

I’m surprised nobody complained about him getting a “black” belt cuz that’s prejudiced or something. Then again, it’s still early in the day. All the angry rappers are still sleeping off their champagne hangovers.

I can’t wait til Chuck Norris hears about this one! He’ll be pig fighting mad!  He had to kick a lot of cement blocks and Chinese guys’ heads to get where he is today, and O-Bow-Ma comes along and gets a black belt for nothing.

Does this mean the Communist-in-Chief is gonna go after Osama and give him a karate chop? Ha! Don’t bet on it!

Bruce Lee must be turning over in his grave or tomb or whatever those slant-eyed people have instead.

Chuck Norris donne fréquemment du sang à la Croix-Rouge. Mais jamais le sien.

Le dernier homme a avoir sérré la main à chuck est Jamel Debouzze.

Chuck Norris sait parler le braille.

Chuck Norris est la raison pour laquelle Charlie se cache.

Chuck Norris peut encercler ses ennemis. Tout seul.

Dieu a dit: que la lumiere soit! et Chuck Norris répondit : On dit s’il vous plait.

One business who always seems to be in the news when it brings out a new advert is Nando’s. You can’t argue that Nando’s has probably the most creative adverts in South Africa. They use satire in such a way, that even Mandela would give a chuckle. Zuma, Malema and other easy targets are however not going to be amused that easily. Well they deserve it… It’s their fault that they are the centre of attention.

If there are readers out their that do not understand the situation, is actually missing out on the hilariousness of this satirical maddness. Well, let me show this Nando’s advert – maybe you might just get it…

Hahahaaa… I wish economics worked that way, but unfortunately it’s just the same as paying the right price and getting the right product and wishing that the cashier has missed out on a rand or two (or ten). Even though this is not a true statement by ANC Youth League president Julius Malema, it could have been. It is just one of those typical saying that Malema is famous for. Like the opinion on Caster Simenya (“Hermaphrodite is not in my culture, I look down there to see if it’s a boy or a girl.”), but poor Julius Malema… It’s not his fault that everytime he speaks nonsense rubbish flies out of his mouth or that his opinions are as valid as a R1 note…Wait! It is his fault! It’s not like he is controlled by Martians who would like to destroy the country and later on the earth. And yet…

The next advert is HILARIOUS!!!! Everyone can appreciate this advert. It just comes to show how funny blonde jokes actually are. My sister is blonde and she is always in the centre of  it all. Luckily I’m not blonde – not that I have anything against blonde girls, it’s just they are such easy targets…

See what I mean… I wonder how all the blondes felt. Probably 10% of them laughed and 90% stared at the screen in confusion (sorry). I loved the fact that they made the blonde an afrikaner, even though I’m an afrikaner, it just makes the advert funnier. This ad just wants me to buy Nando’s so badly, and believe me, they do have the tastiest chicken in South Africa – KFC can’t compare to the tenderness of Nando’s chicken. Don’t worry blondes, we still love you…

Last, but definitely not least, is an advert with a guy who achieved popularity overnight. He may be just another guy who thinks he is the next Chuck Norris, but he surely has a personality of gold. This is Vernon Koekemoer. South Africa’s very own Chuck Norris. Just watch this advert, it’s randomly funny…

Seeing Chuck Norris at the end was classic. I wonder what he really thinks of Koekemoer. I laughed so much at the end of this ad, and after it I have to say that the marketing team at Nando’s are geniuses. I would love to work with them, they are just so creative.

So next time, when you are craving for a decent chicken meal and you happen to be close to a Nando’s store, why not go in? You can trust me when I say that the chicken is delicious, and their adverts are fantastic!!! If you could eat their adverts then your taste buds would sing…

Some people say that satire is ruining the country (and/or the world), but they are WRONG, it is making people think and therefore making smarter people, making the world a better place for all of us.

Hmmm… I’m suddenly hungry…

More than anything I’m putting up another post because I want to flag something for you. John Cole appears to be just about the only “news” source on the planet who’s put together the fact that CNN’s “Killing at the Canals” series on rogue U.S. troops in Iraq is about the same platoon Scott Beauchamp informed on, resulting in a massive wingnut hissy fit.

-

Sam Pizzigati’s got the dope on a new formula for figuring out why people die younger in countries with more economic inequality.

Inequality grinds on people, both at the top and the bottom.

Mcjoan points out that uninsured ER patients die at a higher rate than insured patients.

And it will still take nothing short of a miracle to get decent health insurance reform passed by the this bought and paid for Congress.

Again, whatever happened to campaign finance reform? Is there anyone left who fails to see the connection between money and legislation?

-

Isaiah J. Poole on how labor is starting to win now that the entire federal government isn’t stacked against them. They’re even taking on the banksters.

Related:

Taibbi on Goldman Sachs

Moberg on banks

-

You know if I weren’t so totally, hopelessly in bed with Obama, I might wonder wtf was up with:

stimulus money for foreign windmills

prosecutors who can’t convict Wall Street thieves

the DOJ opposing Don Siegelman’s Supreme Court appeal

-

Republicans being, well, you know how they are:

Painfully clueless Glenn Beck video

Painful Chuck Norris video

Tommy Chong honored to be Mary Beth’s only regret

City Pages takes a fresh look at Michele Bachmann

Sooner or later, they always blame ACORN (more from TBogg)

Fearmonger in chief

Nasty bathrooms

Quist

C Street update

World Net Daily update

Still having comments fun over at Vick’s with the Palinistas (who really should read this)

Not political, but I’m betting this guy didn’t vote for Obama

-

It had to be said.

-

Client called and told me to call some ad rep and let him know she didn’t want what they were selling. So I did. (She doesn’t like to be the heavy.) Not only did he amicably accept her rejection, but the guy tried to place a take-out order with me!

So I took it. First food order I’ve taken since I worked in the River Room at the University of Iowa Memorial Union.

-

eTc:

Former Timberwolf Marko Jaric and supermodel Adriana Lima just had a baby (and yes, that’s probably the first birth announcement I’ve ever done)

More on the 10-year-old who got tasered

Clusterfuck Nation: The Fate of the Yeast People (not about B12, btw)

How the Israeli religious right undercuts their military

hCopyright © 2009 HUMAN EVENTS. All Rights Reserved.

Visiting Maj. Nidal Hasan’s Hospital

http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?print=yes&id=34460

Copyright © 2009 HUMAN EVENTS. All Rights Reserved.

http://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AeIWUD3XW_kCZGdrZjlma2hfODZmZGt6bWRmMg&hl=en

Copyright © 2009 HUMAN EVENTS. All Rights Reserved.

Good news, bad news: The good news: The S&P 500 is sitting on a ton of cash. The bad news: The cash came from being overleveraged and from failure to invest in existing business and/or growth, which will lead to bad future news on both revenues and employment.

It’s OK if you’re a Republican: The Obama White House gets criticized for attempting to manage the news cycle … by Karl Rove.

Shorter Peter Wehner: Sarah Palin hasn’t an idea in her head, but just because she’s both stupid and a whiner is no reason to criticize her. (No, I’m not making this up. Even better: I’m linking to Commentary.)

Why competence matters: New Orleans flooded after Hurricane Katrina because the Army Corps of Engineers messed up, a federal judge rules. Cue the lawsuits, and this is one case in which I don’t want to hear any whining about tort reform.

If you want to make an omelette heal a soccer player, you have to break a few eggs birth a few horses: This is the kind of alternative medical treatment for which I might well look for an alternative … any alternative. (h/t: friend and former co-worker Christie on Facebook)

Texas declares war on marriage: Does mathematics’ reflexive property of equality (a = a) apply to Texas family law? If so, then in banning gay marriage, the state might have outsmarted itself and banned all marriage when it added this phrase to its constitution: “This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage.” And one of the legal statuses identical to marriage is, well, marriage. At least, so says the Democratic candidate for attorney general.

If you’re going to hire a hack, at least hire a talented hack: President Obama has named former Bush White House spokesbot Dana Perino to the Broadcasting Board of Governors, which oversees civilian U.S. government broadcasts. I’m trying to decide whether to be outraged or to conclude that it’s a good idea to have a propagandist in charge of propaganda. Or to conclude that it’s a good idea to have a propagandist in charge of propaganda but wish for a GOOD propagandist rather than Perino.

North Carolina’s Mel Watt is on the side of the demons in the audit-the-Fed debate. Those of you in the 12th District, which includes many of us right here in fair Greensboro, need to get in his face about this. Whether you’re in NC-12 or elsewhere, you can petition the appropriate committee leaders here. More background here.

Because Goldman Sachs didn’t have enough people qualifying for big, taxpayer-financed bonuses already: The vampire squid is promoting 272 people to managing director.

Sen. Thad Cochran, R-Banksters. (Bonus: background info on how U.S. credit card fees paid by merchants and passed on to consumers, are some of the world’s highest.) Memo to the Democrats, which will cost them far less than the advice they get from professional consultants: When your political opponent starts gouging the public, during the holidays, in the middle of a recession — when he basically hands you a chair and says “Hit me over the head with this!” — if you want to win elections, you hit him over the head with it. (Key phrase there being, “If you want to win elections …”)

“Nothing bespeaks personal character like the volatile use of violence on your opponents”: Chuck Norris confesses that anger-management issues rule out a political career for him. Hey, the first step is admitting you have a problem.

Why does Glenn Beck hate America? No, really.

Remember: Conservativism cannot fail, it can only be failed: Bonus fun: Fairness and Accuracy in Reporting is a “registered hate group.” Where do you register as a hate group? How much does it cost? How often does the magazine come? Do you get movie passes?

And, finally …

Today’s Quote of the Day, on how conservatives are blaming all electoral ills, including legitimate Republican losses, on ACORN, from Hullabaloo commenter “Pseudonymous in NC” (and, no, that’s not me; I only wish I had thought of this): “For wingnuts, ‘ACORN’ rhymes with ‘trigger’. That’s what this poll tells you.”

Continuing in the tradition of class cancellations, six of my twelve hours of teaching this week never took place, either because teachers needed the students to take tests, or because the teachers were sick.  This means I spent a lot of time sitting at a computer typing away at my graduate application essays: 3 out of 5 essays are nearing completion, and my deadline is a month away! I’ve never been so far ahead of schedule.

None of my seconde classes were canceled, however.  That meant I could still go ahead with my carefully planned out class schedule.  This week we went over another idiomatic expression (“thick as thieves,” or “copains comme cochons“).  But the pièce de résistance was my social-networking experiment: the Facebook Classroom.

I had been getting several of those chain emails with attachments like “What if God had Twitter?” and “Isaac Newton’s Facebook Page,” which is where this all started. But we’d been told to stay away from religious themes in class, and I wasn’t sure how many of my kids were nerdy enough to be entertained by Newton’s hypothetical profile (unlike my friends, who I’m sure would be ROTFL.  Please note that the last word in that sentence was written with only sarcastic intentions). So I found something I was sure they’d all find funny:

Luke, Vader wants to add you as a son on "Family Connections." Accept? Ignore?

Some of the classes thought it was funny.  That’s better than nothing.  One class, when asked if they thought it was a funny joke, said, “No, because it’s childish.” I retorted, “Too bad! ‘Cuz we’re doing one just like it!” And in the end, it was the doing that brought them to the dark side…

So here’s what I asked them to do:

• Pick a well-known Anglophone figure: celebrity / politician / actor / musician / fictional character / etc.
• Pretend to be the character and fill out a Facebook profile.
• Make friends: requests are made in person.  If you accept, leave your new friend a message on the wall. If you decline, let the asker know why.
• Share your profile with the class.

The writing, they didn’t like so much. But making fun of the guy that didn’t understand the “pretending to be the character” bit of the instructions, and wound up playing Eva Longoria because “she’s so sexy” – with another dude playing Tony Parker? That, they liked.  I’m now going to share with you the fruits of this labor: excerpts from my students’ Facebook profiles that had me laughing out loud while riding home on the metro.  Also, note: all errors are my students’ doing…I actually do know how to speak English.

Numero uno: Chuck Norris. Sex? Male God. Relationship Status? He don’t need it. Hometown? The world is mine.

"Chuck Norris don't need music, he create the music. You can't hit Chuck Norris. He is the champion of Karaté. Chuck Norris is Walker Texas Ranger and he hit peoples with his feet. No one can write on the wall of Chuck Norris, or he will kill you. The friends of Chuck Norris are who he want. Chuck Norris decide your life."

This charming student, when asked to describe Chuck Norris and share his profile responded with: “If I said who Chuck Norris is, Chuck Norris will kill you.” If this had been a competition, this kid wins.

The rest:

"I am a Rich Man and a Popular Person, I have a wife but I forgot her name. I live in America, everywhere because I'm RICH."

David Beckham. Relationship Status? "Married with Victoria, it's complicated because David go playin Milan AC in Italian, in January."

"My name is Wentworth Miller and I have 34 years old. I'm just registered in Facebook and I want to be your friend . I'm the celebrate characters in the serie Prison Break: Michael Scofield. I hope to find love in Facebook or other because I'm alone "

"Queen Elizabeth II. She likes Jazz and classical music. Movies / TV? Inspecteur Derrick and Barnaby. Activities: she sleeps."

As for Eva Longoria and Tony Parker? Well, Tony wrote on Eva’s wall. “I love you Babe. XD”