“Today, I was walking to school when a homeless man asked me for a quarter. I gave him one and he gave me a chocolate bar and said “I just wanted to see if anyone would be nice enough to give me their change” before walking away. Coolest. Guy. Ever. MLIA”

You see, here we have a prime example of another thing these MLIAers do. They tend to separate adjectives from their nouns by using punctuation. This is one of the Worst.Cliches.Ever. They do it all the time. I thought it died out, but like the Awesome Teachers thing, it’s coming back.

Besides using that Worst.Cliche.Ever, why would a homeless man give you food if you gave him a quarter. Plus, didn’t your parents ever teach you not to take candy from strangers? I hope you didn’t eat that. I know it’s the Coolest.Candy.Ever, but soon you’ll have the Worst.Illness.Ever.

If you’re sensible like me, you wouldn’t eat that candy (but you’d also probably not give the man a quarter). If you think like I do, then you know that man injected that candy bar with poison or drugs. It’s just the way some of us are. You can’t ever be too careless. I wouldn’t have taken the candy bar in the first place.

And where did the man even get the candy bar? A quarter doesn’t buy candy, except like gum balls and stuff. Don’t you think he would have eaten it by now? Or do you think that maybe he just wasn’t hungry right then. If that was the case, then he would have saved it for later.

Getting poisoned isn’t something I would wish on anyone, but this MLIAer sounded like they were welcoming it.

Oh, how things change!

After 5 months in India something has rubbed off on me. I hate to say it, but I’ve had the cliché ‘come-to-India-and-have-a-life-altering-experience’ experience. It gets me mad, because I routinely make fun of the hippie back-packer types who come to India in search of an ashram, guru, and spiritual enlightenment or life-altering experience. For the 1st time ever I have no plan for the future other than going back to NY. For hours I think about what I want to do, but what keeps coming up is feeling that everything is bullshit and that nothing matters.

To illustrate this point: My friend Piali told me a story recently about seeing a dead human body in the middle of the street with its brains splattered all over the place like a puss from a popped pimple. What had happened is that the dude had fallen over his bike and a bus had run him over, causing enough pressure for his brains to explode out of his skull. You are forced to confront the reality that something can happen to fuck up your life or kill you at any second. In a place where a physical disability means that you will have to live your life begging on the streets, life takes on a whole new meaning. Even more frustrating and hard to deal with is that among this social context you have NGOs/non-profits who care more about getting donations and appeasing their donors than about the people they serve, and NGO employees who care more about their careers than the issues that they claim to work for. At this point everything seems like bullshit and as for what the hell I am going to do with myself when I get back to the US I’m just trying to figure out what I enjoy doing and will just work with that. Don’t say that I didn’t warn ‘ya If I end up being a garbage collector or corporate office worker.”

Cliché

if I had a penny
for every time you popped up in my thoughts,
you know id be rich.
I woke up this morning,
the some-teenth time its happened;
my first thought was you.
some-teenth
powered by ten,
never divided
it hasn’t subsided.
ill ask you if you fell from heaven;
if they’re missing an angel.
ill look for your tag,
to see where you were made.
I’m sure you MUST be tired,
you’ve been running through my head all day….
what’s more to say?
–Matthew Cuellar

It’s amazing how at the least time expected to ever be hit by inspiration, you’re hit smack in the face with it.

I was just hit with inspiration for a series, but something probably not expected from a person like myself. I already had ideas for characters in mind, so I just have to edit that a little bit and form the plot. The story will revolve around a troubled kid, who’s pretty much a “biker” (quotations because he’s not actually a biker; he just drives a motorcycle), going through the obstacles of life.

I swear, it’s not as cliche as it sounds. And no.. The characters aren’t stereotypes, either.

So, hopefully I can get that all worked out sooner or later.

“The other day, I walked into my chemistry class. I hate chemistry, so I’m usually pretty bored. But when I looked down at my desk, to my surprise, someone had drawn a dinosaur. Amused, I drew a ninja next to the dinosaur throwing death stars at it and wrote ‘Ninjas beat dinosaurs.’ The next day I went to class and saw that the person had drawn a pirate stabbing my ninja. Next to it was ‘Yeah, but pirates beat ninjas.’ Not to give up on our little war, I drew a zombie eating the brains of the pirate with ‘But zombies eat pirates.’ The day after that, I went to class and was awed to see that the person had smeared all the previous drawing away, and had drawn Voldemort with a wand saying Avadra Kedavra. Next to the drawing it said ‘The Dark Lord defeats all.’ I didn’t draw anything else. Touché, mystery drawer, touché. MLIA.”

This MLIA almost made me kill myself.

Let’s list all of the wrong-doings about this MLIA:

1. Dinosaurs
2. Ninjas
3. Pirates
4. Zombies
5. Harry Potter
6. Drawings on Desks
7. Strangers
8. Repeat Phrase
9. Touche

NINE things. NINE. I can not believe this. This is not cool.

I think they’re onto us. All the crazed MLIA sadists out there are purposely doing this just to make us mad. That has to be it. They can’t think that people actually believe this, can they?!

La espera se hace eterna mientras las horas rasuran las hojas que caen a mis pies. Cada minuto que pasa parece hacerme retroceder dos. “Te amo” Susurré. Y se erizó mi piel. El hielo Era tan raro sentirlo, pero escucharlo resultaba una confirmación del mismo. “Te amo” dije otra vez. Y esta vez el escalofrío se transformó en un calor que inundó mis mejillas. Y sonreí. Había un fósil entre mis pechos, cubierto de arena, que empezaba a relucir a medida que lo iba contemplando. Y yo, la muy brillante, acababa de notarlo, tras conjurarlo con dos palabras. ¿Qué hacer con el amonite dorado? Tomé un pincel, y empecé a limpiarlo de la sal escondía su matemática perfección.

She wants to know “What’s so wrong if I like him?”.

The “Christian” guy cheated on her. But this guy is nice, they’ve connected. She trusts him.

He wants to know “So what if “he is a really nice guy”, he treats you well, you won’t date him?”

The “Christian” guy hasn’t made the move. But this guy is nice, they’ve connected. She trusts him.

If you are single, and have been around the Christian bubble for more than five minutes, you’ve heard the verses, and with the best of intentions recited them yourself.

Guard your heart. Don’t be unequally yoked. He will give you the desires of your heart.  Paul even said it was better to be single. Run after Christ, and when you turn and see someone there next to you – That’s “him”.

When the cliches wear off.  What will stop the lingering looks and flirtatious touches?

It’s Christ.

And Only Christ.

Is Christ the center?

Is Christ the treasure?

Is obedience to Him and bringing Glory to Him the highest calling?

Rest knowing that you are Loved even in your loneliness.

Remember whose you are, and all He has brought you through.

If that’s not enough, you’re looking for fulfillment in the wrong relationship.

“Today, I was watching a football game. Minnesota was in marron and yellow. Iowa was in yellow and black. I realised I was practically watching a Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff game. MLIA”

Huh. This post seems usually fake. I mean, where I come from (Which is the United States), Minnesota’s colors are purple and then something else. But then I realised I was thinking of the Minnesota Vikings. One trip to Google Images later, and I realised that Minnesota College had burgundy and gold colors. (Maroon is too purple-ish and yellow is too bright for me to call them that).

Okay, I thought. I can live with that.

So then, I thought ‘Does Iowa even have a football team’? Apparently, the answer is yes. It’s also college football, and the colors are in fact black and yellow.

So, maybe this post isn’t entirely fake, right? Wrong.

I did my research. Iowa wasn’t playing a game on the 27 of November. Minnesota was, but not against Iowa. Minnesota is against Portland today.

I’m on to you, MLIAer.

“Today, while in math, my teacher asked us what a super prime was. Everyone looked around, then in unison said “Optimus.” MLIA”

First, why do all totally ‘average’ things happen in Math Class? Is there something I don’t know about?

Secondly, I doubt that everyone in your math class has watched Transformers. Then again, I’ve never watched Transformers and even I know what Optimus Prime is, but seriously. Everyone, EVERYONE in your WHOLE math class said “Optimus”. At the same time, too. I’m surprised that they did it and they missed a beat.

If everyone in my math did this, sure, maybe I would feel a little cool, but here’s the thing: no one in my math class WOULD do it. No one in ANY math class would.

How is this ‘average’?

15) Um dos mais legais de todos, não é sempre mas muitos adoram tomar umas porradas antes de se transformar e ficam lá lutando igual a uns retardados, depois se transformam e acabam com o monstro.

Clichê .  Todo filme têm  , alguns mais do que outros .Clichê é aquela cena ou parte do enredo que já foi usado varias vezes , é um lugar comum. As vezes dá raiva de ver aquilo denovo , mas outros acabam passando despercebidos, confira a lista abaixo e veja quantos deles você já viu:

-Sempre que é mostrado um professor dando aula ele é interrompido no meio  de uma frase pelo som do sinal .

-Os carros explodem automaticamente após uma batida , tiro ou capotagem , a não ser que o carro seja do herói, ai  só explodirá quando o Heroí estiver pulando  para fora do carro.

-Os alienigenas sempre pousam nos Estados Unidos, talvez seja porque todos eles só falam inglês.

Isso é o que acontece quando eles pousam em outros lugares

-As mulheres sempre acordam com  maquiagem impecável

-Se alguém está fugindo a pé de um veiculo  a pessoa sempre corre pela estrada ao invés de tentar ir para um lugar em que o veiculo não possa ir.

-O parceiro/melhor amigo do policial herói será morto 3 dias antes de sua aposentadoria.

-Os vilões e os heróis nunca olham para as grandes explosões que eles provocaram, eles simplesmente continuam andando em câmera lenta  enquanto tudo é destruído atrás deles.

Caras legais não olham explosões

-Quando estão fugindo de um assassino as mulheres sempre tropeçam

-Ainda em filmes de terror…A vitima corre 200 metros do assassino , então ela olha para trás mas não o vê, quando ela olha para frente denovo dá de cara com o assassino! Sim ,além de psicopatas eles agoram têm teletransporte.

-Se na batalha final o herói é desarmado pelo vilão podem ocorrer 3 coisas:

• O vilão mostra honra e deixa o herói pegar a  arma de volta …

• O herói fica desviando dos ataques do vilão usando coisas do cenário até que consiga recuperar sua arma, ou…

• Quando o vilão vai dar o ataque final o parceiro do herói joga pra ele uma arma a tempo do herói evitar o golpe fatal.

-Se houver um grupo de capangas cercando o herói ao invés de atacarem juntos eles irão  atacar um de cada vez .

-Se um coadjuvante menciona a família  no inicio do filme , ele concerteza irá morrer.

-Quando alguém escuta um barulho  estranho no lado de fora da casa  sempre  irá sozinho olhar , mesmo que exista um assassino a solta.

- O heroí não pode fazer nada para impedir o vilão e todos morreram! …Ufa!…Foi só um sonho.

"Meu deus!! que sonho horrível!"

-Quando está procurando um intruso na casa a pessoa sempre tomará um susto do próprio gato, depois de se recuperar do susto o intruso aparece e tenta estragula-lá

-Depois de perder metade da sua legião do mal  tentando matar o herói, o vilão finalmente consegue capturá-lo  , o que  ele faz? Dá um tiro na cabeça do heroí? Não !Ele conta seu plano secreto e então prende o herói  numa armadilha mortal com alguma coisa bizarra como tubarões com lasers na cabeça ou ursos com motosserras.

-Se o herói for asiático, automaticamente ele será mestre em artes marciais.

-O filme é nacional? Então tem que ter palavrão , sexo e violência

-Uma nave que é destruída no espaço explode em chamas e faz muito barulho

-Pilotos são totalmente desnecessários ,qualquer um com instruções da torre pode pilotar um avião.

Esqueci de algum? Deixe os clichês que você lembrar nos comentários

Je suis à près certain que vous connaissez cette fille. Elle est jolie, enfin avec beaucoup de charme au moins. Sa profonde mélancolie s’affiche sur son visage, s’insinue dans le timbre de sa voix. Et vous n’avez qu’une envie, c’est de la prendre dans vos bras. De lui caresser les cheveux en lui racontant un tas de trucs réconfortants. Parce que cette fille est paumée, et d’un coup ça la rend plus désirable. Je veux dire, fuck, il faut que quelqu’un aille la sauver, à grand renforts de câlins et de petit déjeuner au lit ! Oui mais non. Parce qu’en fait, vous allez vous en prendre plein la gueule. Sale connasse qui va vous briser le cœur, alors que votre petit enfer personnel dans lequel vous allez vous retrouver était pavé de bonnes intentions. Cette fille, vous la connaissez, je la connais. Et en fait, j’ai bien peur de beaucoup lui ressembler.

Y’a pas longtemps, une demoiselle qui me tournait le dos alors que j’étais allongé peinard sur mon lit m’a dit qu’elle commençait à vraiment apercevoir mon côté connard quand même. J’ai protesté pour la forme, histoire de grogner un peu, faire l’alpha mâle. Mais une fois la demoiselle partie, j’ai fini par cogiter (le problème quand votre Xbox est morte, on cogite beaucoup trop). En tant que mouchoir pour traumatisée de l’amour j’ai depuis longtemps entendu parler du fameux « paumé/connard ». C’est le mec qui attire avec son regarde de chien battu, toutes les fêlures dans sa carapace. Bref, il est paumé. La faute à la sortie d’une longue relation, d’une déception amoureuse ou d’une vie un peu trop bordélique. Mais c’est aussi un conard. Non parce qu’il se fout de tout, y compris des sentiments des autres, réalise toujours après coup quand il fait une connerie et à tendance à ne pas faire gaffe à ses poussées d’égoïsme.

Plus je réfléchissais à la question, emmitouflé dans ma couette de la win trop douce qui sent bon, plus j’avais l’impression de trouver une petite case dans laquelle me mettre. Après un rapide bilan de mes relations sentimentalo-sexuelles de l’année passée, je n’avais pas d’autre choix que de faire face à l’atroce vérité : je suis devenu un cliché. Pire, un cliché que je déteste. J’en veux à trop de filles qui avaient eu des réactions semblables aux miennes. Sans parler du fait que des mois après, malgré des tonnes d’explications, une ex peut ne toujours pas comprendre comment je voyais la relation et à quel point en fait je pouvais tenir à elle. Paumé jusque dans mes arguments, coupable des mêmes offenses que des fantômes de mon passé sur lesquels je crache encore. Plus triste, tu meurs.

J’ai souvent entendu dire que les gens paumés, tu peux pas les sauver. Peu importe que tu sois le mec parfait avec la fille tordue, peu importe qu’une nana en or tente de récupérer un paumé, les seuls qui peuvent les sauver, c’est eux-même. Tout ce que je comprends, c’est que j’ai du boulot. Fuck.

“Today during a classic pirates vs ninjas debate I pointed out that pirates are so cool they have a holiday. His response? “Ninjas have a holiday, it’s just hidden on the calender.” Touche my ninja friend, touche. MLIA”

As some of you may know, Pirates vs. Ninjas seem to be a main debate on MyLifeIsAverage. I have no idea why or how this happened. But of course, everyone on MLIA talks about MLIA in public with their Best.Friend.Ever.

Do any of you know of a Pirate holiday? I’ve never heard of one.

Further more, since when were ninjas ever invisible? And why does something have to have a holiday to make it cool? Trees have their own holiday, you know. It’s called Arbor Day. Does that mean trees are cool?

Let’s not forget that repeat phrase at the end (And I don’t mean the MLIA). It seems to be a trend on MLIA to say things like “Touche ____, Touche” or “Well-played _____, Well-Played”  at the end of the post. Apparently it makes you seem cool, or witty.

I think it makes you seem stupid, MLIAers, it makes you seem stupid.

“Do as the Chinese people do, then you will be OK!”

Dat was het eerste wat Lotus zei toen we haar zagen. Ze legde ons uit dat we gewoon met ‘de stroom’ en de Chinese gebruiken mee moesten gaan, dan kwam het wel goed met ons in het grote Beijing. Ik vraag me af of ik aan haar wens heb voldaan. Er zijn namelijk genoeg situaties geweest waarin ik mij niet bepaald heb gedragen als de stereotype toerist… Op het moment dat ik uit het vliegtuig stapte, wist ik namelijk al dat ik door elk toeristenpraatje én plaatje heen zou moeten kijken om Beijing écht te zien. Om meer te kunnen zien achter de gebouwen, mensen en dingen die we tegenkwamen.

Cliché of niet, de Grote Muur had ik niet willen missen. Lotty (l) Lana (r)

Ik had immers een missie; zoek het échte Beijing achter het cliché. Ik hoop dat het me in de ogen van mijn ‘publiek’ gelukt is. Zelf denk ik dat ik door deze manier van ‘toerist zijn’ echt dingen heb gezien en meegemaakt die anders aan mij voorbij zouden zijn gegaan. Waarschijnlijk zullen er van mijn volgende reizen geen blogs verschijnen, maar deze manier van denken en kijken zal niet meer uit mijn systeem verdwijnen. Dat is zeker.

Xie Xie Beijing!

Voor meer foto’s kun je terecht in het fotoboek!

I’m not a copywriter. I’m not a blogger.

I’m no novelist, nor poet, nor songwriter…

I’m merely a writer.

Or perhaps, more to wit, especially a writer.

I don’t clock out. I don’t take it for granted.

I don’t write because they tell me to. I write because I have to.

Because it’s more than what I do—it’s who I am.

I try to transcend the cliche, the obvious.

Go ahead and draw a line in the sand, I’ll cross it eventually—I refuse to accept the limits of what’s been done. Life is more than just a copy/paste of the past.

I’m as flexible as a Russian gymnast—I’m more than any one style.

I’m more than just a funny guy. I’m not always a sentimental baby, and not every word must burn.

We’re built to process more than the surface emotion.

Sometimes it’s not a matter of what you want.

Sometimes it’s a matter of what you didn’t know you needed.

My motive isn’t always clear, and I don’t write for everyone.

I write for you, and it’s true:

The pen is mightier than the sword.

Anyone can throw a punch or pull a trigger, but action merely garners reaction.

Words can do so much more.

Someday, some folks might just realize what they’re missing.

What they missed.

What they didn’t know they needed.

As for right now, I can only write now.

And hope you keep reading.

Client: Motivate - Campaign ME magazine.

Country: UAE – Dubai

Published in Campaign ME magazine. 19 July – 8 August, 2009. Page: 32.

Client: Emirates Neon – Self Promotion.

Country: UAE – Dubai.

Client: Teen Talk – Cover design for the magazine.

Agency:  In-House

Country: Kuwait

Agency: Classic Promo Marketing – Self Promotion

Country: Bahrain – Oman.

Japanese art

Mother nature

Cover design for Islamic Banking magazine.

Client: Sabban Towers

Country: Qatar.

Source: Tony Stone

Photographer: Jean Louis Batt

Client: Citadel Capital

Client: NBK National Bank of Kuwait

Agency: JWT – Kuwait

Country: Kuwait

Source: Tony Stone

Photographer: Darryl Torckler

Client: SYZ & CO

Agency: Lunic

Client: Dubai Media City

Country: UAE – Dubai

Client: Samsung

Country: UAE – Dubai.

The following is an intelligent twist on the cliche’ concept. Bravo.

Client: Addax Bank

Country: Bahrain.

Client: Leviton

Published in Construction Week magazine. October 17 – 23, 2009. Page: 7.

Client: International Media Production Zone.

Published in Media 2007, a gulf marketing review supplements. June 2007. Page: 45.

{Warning – this blog may contain clichés – see how many you can spot}

Today is the 26th November, in one month it Will Be Christmas, and yet looking out on a sunny, if a bit cold, Warwickshire, I don’t feel very Christmassy. I was in London last week and the lights are up already in Oxford St. I found myself asking, Do they get earlier every year? Where does everyone get the money from anyway? Isn’t there supposed to be a Recession on?

Has it always been like this, or was there a Golden Age of Innocence that we have lost in all the commercialism?

Everyone has their own signs that it’s Christmas-time again, and these are mine:

1. Twiglets are on special offer, and in drums instead of bags.
2. The Coca-Cola ad is on TV (might be tricky this year as I have Sky+ and don’t watch ads).
3. “Fairytale of New York” by The Pogues is played on the radio.

Really, until all 3 boxes get ticked I don’t feel that it is Christmas. What are your signs? Is it the first Christmas card from someone you hardly know setting you into a panic of having to buy them a card, or present, and realising you aren’t even sure where they live anymore? Is it when you put up the tree, kneel on an ornament, and once you’ve untangled the rat’s nest of wiring and realise the Fairy Lights don’t work and you have to go and get some new ones (because nobody sells the bulbs anymore)…? Or do you really look forward to a time when all your family and friends gather together in a spirit of love and generosity? Or is it just the presents, the Christmas TV specials and all the food?

Whether you follow the traditions of Christmas, Yule, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Politically Correct Winterval, or any other faith (or none at all) the coming season seems to me to be about meeting with your loved ones and exchanging lovely gifts that show how much you care about them, or vouchers if you don’t.

Whatever the mid-winter celebration season means to you it doesn’t HAVE to be stressful and it doesn’t HAVE to be anything you don’t want it to be. I believe the best present you can give yourself (and everyone else) this year is to relax, and communicate with your friends and family about what you REALLY want, rather than what you SHOULD do, and your life and theirs will be happier.

….. and isn’t that what we all want for Christmas?

MOOD:

So, recently I got back my mock exam results and I was pretty happy with the two A*s and A I got. It’s a bit of a relief.
In English Lit. I’ve gotten another essay set though, but it should be fine really, I’m trying not to stress about it.

On a lighter note, I’ve just finished watching the whole Utawarerumono series box set I bought a month or two ago It was good!!
(Spoilers may follow)

I didn’t really have a favourite character (unusually), but they were all kind of good in their own ways (except for Kamyu, her voice was annoying).
The storyline’s structure was vaguely reminiscent of Kanon’s in the way new stories were gradually added in as well as Hakuoro’s memories gradually returning.
The storyline itself was pretty good Despite the cliche’s it was still very gripping and actually made me cry (when the people of their home town all died ;.; ).
Towards the end of the series (very noticable in the final episode) unfortunately the dialogue appeared more forced, but I’m not sure if it was just the dub (I’ll have to rewatch it with subtitles at some point).
Overall, I would rate the series at about an 8/10, ’cause it was very watchable and I really enjoyed it. The animation was pretty much consistently good and the soundtrack was nice. The cliche’s and occasional bad dialogue were the only negative qualities of the series really.

Oh my, I actually wrote a review XD (although I took a break in the middle to write that English essay).

Ja mata!

-kizukimizu

Simon Page has some fantastic posters for the International Year of Astronomy 2009. These prints are available to purchase, here.

“The International Year of Astronomy 2009 is a global effort initiated by the International Astronomical Union (IAU) and UNESCO to help the citizens of the world rediscover their place in the Universe through the day and night-time sky, and thereby engage a personal sense of wonder and discovery.”

[Via CR].

At least three times a week I take over a small booth. I cover its tabletop with magazine clippings, notebook papers, scribbled on articles and my laptop. The humming atmosphere does not distract me, but instead keeps me writing. Chirping women, and playing children, they all add to the aesthetic of writing outside of my home. Coffee in hand, and my fingers tapping away at my laptop keys; this outside atmosphere inspires me to keep jotting down words, and ideas.

Once upon a time, I took over a table at Starbucks. Much to my surprise, not only would I have to pay $3.19 for my grande non-fat green tea latte, but also $3.99 for two hours of Internet use. Why not just buy two teas and travel on home?

Personally, two hours of Internet does me no good. I may as well stare at a blank page. I need time to think, and let what I see on my screen grow in front of my eyes and steep in my mind. Two hours provides none of that. Yes, if you buy in to the Starbucks Gold Card you will get two hours free day. I pay for an Internet membership at home. No, thank you.

Now one must think. All those hipster writers that flock to Starbucks with their expensive laptops and cliché ideas, where does their endless stock of money come from to support not only their expensive coffee habit, but their expensive Internet habit? Or, are those iconic cups really empty? This is why writers starve. Trendy writers that is. I go for the deal.

I sit in Panera, the delectable soup, and sandwich and salad chain. It is cozy, and lacks the bothersome employees many places seem to have. They let you sit for hours, writing and doing as you please. The menu is affordable and the Internet comes free.

We Are Boxhead are a multi-disciplinary graphic design studio based in Leeds. They have a slick website, which is a pleasure to navigate. Some great work too.

[Via iainclaridge].

Client: HP

Client: Alimtiaz Investment

Country: Kuwait – 2009.

Client: Kuwait United Company Group

Brands: Layalina and Star

Published in Arab Ad magazine. Page: 155.

Advertiser: Telemax

Published in Arab Ad magazine. Pages: 54 – 55.

Client: Cyber Gear – self promotion