Raw made it two excellent shows in a row. They’re not quite on a Washington Capitals level roll, but they’re doing well for themselves.

Show Analysis:

The show started with a fantastic package on the Bret Hart-Vince McMahon angle from last week. They then showed a NASCAR vehicle spinning in circles in the parking lot. The car came out into the arena and we were supposed to believe it was Carl Edwards, but instead it was Hornswoggle who came out of the car. Edwards then came to the ring separately.

Edwards mentioned the Saints’ Super Bowl win for a cheap pop. The crowd was very happy. He then plugged that he will be driving 500 miles in a circle next weekend, so be sure to mark down that one on your calendar. He said that John Cena is his friend, which brought out Sheamus. Sheamus demanded the last entry slot in the Elimination Chamber. Well, he is the champion. It’s unfair enough he’s thrown into a six way title defense. The last slot is the least thing they could do.

Christian then came out. He got a very nice pop. The announcers said it has been a long time since we’ve seen Christian on Raw. Does 8 weeks really qualify? Christian said that NASCAR is blowing up in Canada and that it almost makes Canadians feel okay about losing out on a WNBA franchise. Woah, hold up. Now that’s just uncalled for. The WNBA is a legitimate sport with real athletes and deserves respect. Contrary to what Ben Miller or other chauvinists may say.

They brought up that ECW would be folding and that WWE NXT would be taking its place. Sheamus thought this would mean Christian’s unemployment, so he evidently isn’t very bright. Now if he’d said that about Trent Barreta and Caylen Croft, he might be onto something. Christian said instead that the ECW guys would be free agents. Oh my god. The Instant Classic’s coming back to TNA. Hogan’s done it again! Christian challenged Sheamus to a match and Edwards made it immediately.

Sheamus beat Christian. Sheamus hit a fall away slam and clotheslined Christian to the floor. Christian came back with a springboard crossbody to the floor, missile dropkick, neck breaker and tornado DDT. Sheamus turned the tide with a big boot and abruptly hit the razor’s edge for the pin.

This was WWE making perfectly clear where ECW stands in its hierarchy. And I’m not complaining at all. Really, with the ECW title disappearing shortly and the success of the undisputed tag team titles, I say WWE should just go ahead and create one unified heavyweight champion. That should be built up so it means something, but why not shoot for a SummerSlam unification?

Backstage, Shawn Michaels suggested to Triple H that they could be a part of WrestleMania together. HHH responded that he is planning to take the singles title in the Chamber. Elsewhere, Cody Rhodes told Ted DiBiase that he thought he could have beaten Mark Henry to qualify for the Chamber. DiBiase told him to stop whining. Rhodes then asked whether DiBiase would have beaten John Cena. DiBiase said he is better than Rhodes and Cena. Randy Orton came in. He announced DiBiase vs. Cena and Rhodes vs. Orton.

Big Show and Miz beat DX and the Straight Edge Society to win the unified tag titles. Prior to the match, CM Punk said that when people celebrate Mardi Gras or Super Bowl victories they turn to drugs and alcohol because they are weak and don’t know any better. Punk said he would show why straight edge means he’s better than us. You know, upon further reflection, I’m not sure he means me. So until he specifies, I’m going to assume he means he’s showing why straight edge means he’s better than you. No offense.

Punk then did a mini-angle with Jared the Subway Guy. Hey, at least he wasn’t guest host. Punk tried to recruit him to be the spokesperson for straight edge. Jared said no so the Straight Edge society was getting ready to submarine him when DX made the save and the tag match began.

Three men were in at the same time, so the heels teamed up to beat down HHH. HHH got the tag to Michaels. Michaels went for his nip up spot but then quickly got up after remembering what happened last week. That was a nice little touch. Michaels hit an elbow off the top and sweet chin music on Punk to eliminate the Straight Edge Society.

Big Show immediately went to town on Michaels for a while. Michaels hit sweet chin music on Show and tagged HHH. HHH hit a high knee, face buster and spine buster on Miz. Michaels then tagged himself in. HHH was confused and as he spoke with Michaels about this Miz threw Michaels into HHH and rolled up Michaels for the pin. This was a good match.

Backstage, Big Show and Miz celebrated their title win. Show said that with Chris Jericho he never beat DX and with Miz he did it the first time. Show said that Miz treats him as an equal and a friend. Show was so proud in saying this like he had emotional scars from his treatment by Jericho and it came across absolutely hilarious. Miz said that together they will run WWE. Miz referred to them as Miz Show but Show said he preferred Show Miz.

Backstage, Shawn Michaels desperately asked Teddy Long to trade for him so he could be put in the Smackdown Elimination Chamber. He came across pathetic, begging and pleading. Long said the Elimination Chamber was set. Michaels started yelling and grabbing Long. HHH then came in and tried to stop Michaels.

Michaels said his career is over and gave Long sweet chin music. Carlito was in the background for this entire angle laughing and Michaels’ kick sent both Long and Carlito falling to the floor. I assume Carlito was there to break Long’s fall on the floor. If that wasn’t the idea, this was dumb because Carlito took away from the seriousness of the angle. It worked well either way, though.

Gail Kim beat Jillian Hall. This match went no time at all. Hall got in a few moves and then Kim hit her finisher “eat defeat” for the pin. After the match, Maryse again said she wanted to have a good match with Gail Kim. She then said a whole lot of stuff of French while smiling. No good disingenuous French Canadians! She laughed and offered Kim a handshake. They announced Ted DiBiase for this year’s Hall of Fame.

Cody Rhodes beat Randy Orton. Orton slapped Rhodes and Rhodes gave Orton a dropkick. Orton hit some punches and Rhodes used a side Russian leg sweep. Rhodes missed a crossbody off the ropes and Orton was setting up for the RKO when Sheamus ran out for a distraction and Rhodes hit the roll of the dice for the pin. The announcers were selling that Rhodes might be in cahoots with Sheamus but Rhodes protected Orton with a chair. There was no heat for any of this.

This Legacy breakup angle isn’t working. The problem is that WWE in the name of unpredictability hasn’t invested the fans in anything. It’s the same problem to a lesser extent with the title matches for WrestleMania. Do we want Orton to turn face on Rhodes and DiBiase? Do we want Rhodes and DiBiase to turn face on Orton? Do we want them all to turn on each other?

It’s completely unclear and without the audience being conditioned to want something, it doesn’t care what happens. This angle ought to be so simple. One guy is being manipulated and cheated by the other two. It builds up for week after week until finally he fights back and the crowd goes crazy. But I guess that’s just too much like pro wrasslin’. Shades of grey. Unpredictability. Etc.

Backstage, Carl Edwards promised something special for next week that fans would never forget. What was this monumental announcement? Singles matches with Sheamus vs. Orton, DiBiase vs. Kingston and HHH vs. Cena. Edwards acted like he had just announced Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart and Hulk Hogan vs. Brock Lesnar, Kurt Angle and Undertaker. The announcers then marked out like this was an unbelievable development. I was very confused.

John Cena was supposed to wrestle Ted DiBiase, but he just attacked him and applied the STF on the floor. DiBiase tapped but there was no match. An angry Cena called out Batista, but Batista didn’t show up. Cena said he thinks Vince McMahon was behind what Batista did last week so he called Vince out. Vince came out with security. Cena told Vince to come in the ring himself or he’d beat up all the security and then would be much angrier.

Vince McMahon admitted paying Batista to screw Bret Hart again. However, he said he had nothing to do with Batista attacking Cena. Cena wanted to know why and Vince suggested maybe it was because Cena eliminated Batista at the Rumble or maybe Batista just doesn’t like Cena.

Cena said that Vince is just about money. Cena said that he does it instead because he loves it. Cena then kept talking about doing it for money versus doing it for love. I like that Cena wasn’t smiling and joking, but this material was so corny. Cena managed to pull it off with his delivery anyway. Cena asked Vince if he would take the match. Vince said yes.

After another video package on what Vince did last week, Bret attacked Vince with punches. Vince ran off. He then said that he changed his mind and that there wouldn’t be a match because Bret deserved to be screwed. Bret then went after the WWE video equipment ala Montreal. He didn’t write WCW in the air, though. I’m not sure the audience understood the significance of this, but I thought it worked well and this was another strong close to the show.

Final Thoughts:

The Bret Hart-Vince McMahon and Shawn Michaels-Undertaker build continues to be very good and there was some good wrestling and good supplementary angles on this show as well.

credit: Wrestling Observer

With Wrestlemania around the corner, my interest in wrasslin has returned.  I hate that it works that way, but it really does.  I’d like to tell you I’m still interested year round and that I want to keep writing year round, but considering when the last update on this site was, I think you can tell that’s not the case at all.  It was BEFORE Wrestlemania XXV, for anyone counting.

There is one point I am NOT interested in.  Shawn/Taker II.  I do not feel it is possible to have a match that can come close to living up to last year’s Taker/Michaels match.  Why they’re doing part two is beyond me.  They think we’ll all run out and buy it to see these two… but really…  Why would we?  Here’s what we know:

-          Last year’s match was so amazing it could be match of the decade

-          Taker is more banged up than he was last year and barely moving

-          Both men want time off after their pay checks for Mania

-          Taker NEVER loses at Mania

It’s this last point that bugs me.  It doesn’t bug me in an “I don’t want Taker to win” way.  Quite the opposite.  I feel it is necessary that Taker’s streak remains intact.  As such, I believe the mantra that there is no way Taker will lose.  This, however, leads to a problem with this entire angle for me.  Why should I, as a fan, give a rat’s ass about Shawn’s mission to earn a shot at the Undertaker if I know that Shawn can’t win anyway?  There is this understood fascination between wrestling fans and the Undertaker that we route for his streak to stay intact whether we like him or not.  It’s tradition.  It’s as Wrestlemania as Wrestlemania is.  Every year they tell us his streak is in jeopardy and every year we ooooh and aaaah and sometimes even slightly wonder if it might be.   Still, if Taker really tapped out or had his shoulders down for the three count, we would be PISSED.  Not in the good way, Vince McMahon.  The “I’m going to go watch TNA, Fuck WWE” way.   And even god couldn’t save Vince McMahon if Taker’s streak ended with a countout or a DQ.

What I’m trying to say is that there is no point to a main event type feud for the Undertaker at Wrestlemania.  They could feed him Jack Swagger and we would watch.  Hell, if the match was Undertaker V. Jillian Hall in a singing contest, we would still tune in for his entrance and celebrate when his hand was raised at the end.

But telling us that Shawn Michaels might beat the Undertaker at Wrestlemania?  Get real.  Mr. Wrestlemania V. The True Mr. Wrestlemania?  Not a contest.  It might be a great match.  I might take the record for most 2 counts… but at the end of the day, Shawn Michaels will still be crying that he couldn’t do it.

Or at least he better be.

But that brings me back to the important question.  Why?  Why should I care?  I know Shawn won’t win.  I know Shawn’s entire mission for the next month and a half is pointless because he can’t pull it out.  I know that there is just as much of a chance of the streak ending as Taker insisting he gets to come out to The Patriot’s music and be introduced as Mark Calloway.  (On a side note, it might be fun to see Punk “save” Mark Calloway…)

So for the next month and a half, I have to watch as Shawn Michaels loses everything.  I had to watch him get chucked from the Rumble and kick a couple refs.  I had to watch him lose the tag titles and his tag partner and kick Teddy Long.  I have to watch him whine and cry and scheme his way into matches.  I have to worry that he might actually find a way into the Money In The Bank match and cash it in if Taker is still champ.  I have to watch him waste hours upon hours of storyline that could be building to a good feud… and for what?

For him to lay there at the end of Mania and cry and retire and tell us all that he’s lost his smile?

I’m sorry Shawn.  I’ve been a fan of yours for years, but this story is not doing it for me.  You have often been the greatest story teller in the ring, but this time… something is lost.  I think it’s that we all know it doesn’t matter.  You can work your ass off to claim that it does, but it doesn’t.  18-0 will still be the way it goes.

Personally, I’d rather have seen them feed Taker Jack Swagger.

Ya no es una sorpresa ante las fricciones en DX, pero si hace dos meses les hubieran dicho que The Miz y The Big Show iban a ser los campeones unificados, dudo que lo hubieran creído. Pero ocurrió este 8 de febrero en RAW

Con esto, The Miz se convierte en doble campeón (De parejas y de Estados Unidos), y sus “bonos” siguen subiendo en WWE, incluso por encima de su ex-compañero John Morrison. Aunque muchos seguimos dudando de sus capacidades para ser estelar

A NASCAR stock car does donuts in a dirt lot outside the arena heads in.  The car stops by the side of the stage and Hornswaggle comes out of the car!  Random Midget Moment for sure.

Host, Carl Edwards, backflips from the top turnbuckle.

Sheamus interrupts.

Christian comes out!  ECW wrestlers will become free agents when ECW ends in two weeks.  Here comes the comedy!  Christian discusses how NASCAR is blowing up in Canada and he also calls Sheamus “Snaggletooth”.  Please start CHANTING that WWE Universe!  Christian challenges Snaggletooth to a match.  Brilliant.

Carl Edwards makes the match.  Snaggletooth dominates early with power moves.  Snaggz clothesline’s Christian over the top rope.

*commercial break.

Christian comes back and rallys.  Pulls the rope and Sheamus falls to the outside.  Christian with the springboard plancha to the outside on Snaggletooth.  Snaggletooth throws Christian into the wall.  Both men head back into the ring.  Snaggletooth with the methodical big man punishment.  Knees to the back and works on right arm of Christian.  Christian rallies again and hits a top rope missle dropkick.  Christian hits his off the top rope flying uppercut forearm.  Christian gets caught with  a clothesline.  Tornado DDT on Sheamus.  1…2…no!  Crowd is hot.

Sheamus throws Christian’s shoulder into the steel post.  Pump kick, Evil Ronald McDonald Razor’s Edge and its’ over.  Not sure why they bitched out Christian so easily.  I suppose building up the RAW champion is top priority, but at the ECW titles and Christian’s expense?

CUT TO THE BACK:  DX drama in the locker room.  Shawn is disappointed that HHH sees ‘Mania as his own opportunity to shine, not DX’s.

*commercial break

Cena-Batista confrontation video package with dramatic Spanish guitar music.  Odd choice at first, then they went to the suspenseful music.

CUT TO THE BACK:  Cody Rhodes hates on DiBiase in the back.  Randy enters and the homo-erotic tension ensues.  Crowd is eating Orton’s words up.  Strange.  They set up:

Orton vs. Rhodes and DiBiase vs. Cena for later on tonight.  These are main events that I can afford to miss.  Boo.

*commercial break.

Unified Tag Team Championship:  Three Team Elimination Match

Punk and Gallo come out first with Serena.

Punk cuts a promo and wants Jared, from Subway fame, to be his Minister of Propaganda.  Jared declines.  Punk sends Serena and Luke to retrieve Jared.  Cue DX music right?   DX comes out and Shawn gives the most bitter demeanor to the ring.  He also gives uninspired crotch chops as the pyro goes off.  Hilarious to see Shawn all butt-hurt over HHH’s self-serving ways.

Enter ShowMizness!  As soon as they enter the ring it becomes a PIER SIX BRAWL!  Punk, Luke and Show end up on the outside.  DX toss the Miz onto them as well.  Why?  Cuz they’re DX and they can’t ever be put in a compromising situation.  Whatever.

*commercial break

Shawn works on Punk.  Punk hits his running knee in the corner – bulldog combination. Punk and Show try to work together.  Shawn escapes tags HHH.  Luke and HHH team up momentarily but Show dominates both of them with ease.  HHH hits a face buster on Show.  He goes for the pedigree but Show backdrops HHH to the outside.

*commercial break

Punk works over HHH’s left leg.  Miz works on HHH’s back.  HHH finds a way to counter the Miz and clothesline him.  HHH rolls out of the ring.  Miz and Punk go at it and it’s pretty solid.  Serena pulls Miz off the apron and then baits him into a HHH spinebuster on the outside.  HHH tags Shawn.  Flying forearm.  Kip up to an atomic drop.  Body Slam!  LOST IN SPACE elbow drop by Shawn Michaels on Punk!  Shawn warms up the band but Luke clotheslines Shawn.  Punk sets Shawn up for the GTS!  Shawn counters and hits Sweet Chin Music.  Straight Edge Society is eliminated. CRAP.

Show punishes Shawn.  Show with tons of offense, including a modified uranage looking side suplex/slam deal.  Interesting.  I hope that wasn’t a one shot deal because it looked cool with Show doing it.  Show tags Miz in and Miz hits shawn with a nice neckbreaker.  Shawn counters the Skull Crushing Finale!  Miz quickly tags Show in.  Sweet Chin Music on Show.  Shawn reaches HHH for the tag.  Miz is in to get brutalized!  Facebreaker on Miz.  Spinebuster on Miz.  Surprise TAG to HHH!  HHH looks confused and MIZ rolls up Shawn!  1, 2…3!!!  YES!!  NEW UNIFIED TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!

*commercial break

WWE Smackdown results- Edge returns to Smackdown

After a brief intro featuring Edge and his return to the WWE, we get the normal show opening as well as a tease for special footage from Raw. Chris Jericho then makes his way to the ring for a promo and he is less than pleased. Jericho is unhappy with his loss at the Royal Rumble and is just as unhappy with Edge’s return. He calls out Teddy Long to register a formal complaint but he does not answer. Chris decides to go look for him but Edge is in his office instead. They both claim the other will regret Edge’s return and Jericho leaves without incident.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match – John Morrison def Drew McIntyre & Kane: Morrison opens by throwing shots at both opponents and tries rolls up Drew for a quick pin attempt. McIntyre and Morrison then combine for a double DDT on Kane but their teamwork is short lived as they immediately attack each other. John launches himself at McIntyre near the ropes and they both tumble over the top and we get some commercials.

As we return to action McIntyre and Kane are brawling in the ring but Morrison is back in as soon as Kane goes for a cover. McIntyre hits Morrison with a tilt-the-world backbreaker but the pin attempt is broken up by the Big Red Machine. Kane climbs to the top rope but Morrison leaps up to kick him in the head. McIntyre clotheslines Morrison over the top rope and then tires to superplex Kane but fails. Kane goes for the chokeslam but Morrison is back in and interrupts with a springboard kick on both men. Morrison hits an around the world DDT on McIntyre but can’t get the pinfall and Kane takes turns pounding on both men in opposite corners. Kane gets a sideslam on John for a two count then follows with his flying clothesline. Kane looks for the chokeslam but McIntyre hits him with the IC title and then nails him with the Future Shock. Morrison breaks up the pinfall with a shining wizard then hits Starship Pain on Kane to get the pin and a spot in the title match.

R-Truth def Mike Knok (Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match)

Truth begins with some of his acrobatic dodging but Knox answers by flooring him with his huge somewhat flying crossbody and gets an early nearfall. Mike charges Truth near the ropes and goes flying out over the top rope. Truth flies out after him with a slingshot senton and then quickly pushes him back into the ring. Truth sets him up for the ax kick but Knox dodges it only to get leveled by the Lie Detector instead and that’s enough for Truth to get the pinfall.

After the match we get a replay of Bret Hart’s confrontation this Monday with Vince McMahon on Raw. In addition to that we get bonus footage of what took place after Raw went off the air as John Cena ran out to stop Batista and Vince from inflicting further damage on the Hitman. Basically the black and white footage is Batista beating up Cena and Batista Bombing him on the cold steel of the ring steps.

Meanwhile at the Hall of Justice, CM Punk and the Straight Edge Society were also watching this disturbing footage. Punk considers that the evil Batista might have similar plans for him tonight and is worried about the future of their cause should Dave be successful with those dastardly plans. He then challenges Luke and Serena to help him defeat Batista and his wonder twins accept this honorable task.

CM Punk def Batista (Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match)

Dave seems overly amused with Punk and his entourage and begins the match by smirking and chilling in the corner. Both Punk and the ref try to get him to begin the match but instead he simply leaves the ring and smirks his way up the ramp as the ref counts him out and awards the match to CM Punk. The Society then celebrates like they are going to Disneyland.

Chris Jericho def Matt Hardy (Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match)

Before he makes his way to the ring matt stops to congratulate Maria on her other TV show cause he’s a big sweetie. Hardy backs his foe into a corner to start and Jericho responds by taking a timeout. Once Chris climbs back in he doesn’t fare much better and when he charges Hardy near the ropes and he gets back dropped out of the ring. Matt then follows with a clothesline from the ring apron but Jericho turns the tide by lamming him into the ring steps. Chris climbs back in the ring and tries to win the match by count out but Hardy is able to just barely beat the ref’s count. Jericho goes on the attack but soon misses a shoulder block in the corner and Matt answers with a neckbreaker. Hardy then follows with his clothesline/bulldog combo and it is enough for a long two count. Lionsault by Jericho gets a nearfall and Matt answers with the Side Effect for one of his own. Chris tries a pin attempt with the assistance of the ropes but can’t hold Hardy down for three. Matt goes for the Twist of Fate but Jericho holds onto the top rope and then hits the Codebreaker for the pinfall and spot in the Elimination Chamber match.

After a brief recap of the Women’s title match at the Royal Rumble, Mickie James comes down to the ring for a promo.  She pats herself on the back for her recent title win and for taking the high road in her feud with Michelle McCool. Beth Phoenix interrupts to congratulate Mickie while reminding her of how awesome she is and her Rumble appearance was. Vickie Guerrero then excuses herself to make a tag-team match between them and Michelle McCool and Layla.

Beth Phoenix & Mickie James def Layla & Michelle McCool

Beth starts off against Michelle and tosses her around for a bit but McCool attacks her leg to get back into the match. Matt Striker calls McCool a submission specialist and I try to keep my dinner down as she continues to attack the leg of the Glamazon. Layla tries to get involved but gets bounced off the ring apron by Phoenix who regains control of McCool and takes her over to her corner to tag in Mickie. However Beth does not leave the ring and instead decks both James and McCool before leaving the ring. Michelle is able to reach her corner to tag in Layla who then falls victim to a quick roll-up by James that ends the match.

Cryme Tyme joins us from a backstage hallway for a Memphis styled version of “Word Up”. This week’s word is “KING” and they use it to pay tribute to BB King, Elvis and of course Jerry Lawler. The WWE’s king then makes a rare Smackdown appearance to holla at his boys and they decide to leave to go find some puppies.

Rey Mysterio def Dolph Ziggler (Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match)

Dolph quickly takes Rey down and taunts him. A clothesline from Ziggler leads to a series of pinning attempts from both men. A brief slugfest leads to Mysterio head scissoring Dolph under the bottom rope and out of the ring. Rey continues his attack with a dive out of the ring but gets caught trying to follow up after forcing Ziggler back inside. After an exchange on the apron, Rey climbs to the top rope but Ziggler hits him with a dropkick as he leaps from the top rope and covers him for a two count. Mysterio gets set up for the 619 off their next exchange but Dolph slides out of the ring and into a commercial break.

As we return to Memphis, Ziggler seems to be in control and hits a super-plex for a nearfall. After being grounded and pounded for a bit, Rey makes a comeback with a slingshot senton then nails a kick on a roll-thru reversal for a nearfall. Rey’s reverse DDT gets him another two count, but Ziggler catches another offensive attempt for a slam and a nearfall of his own. Dolph hits Mysterio with a backbreaker then looks for a suplex but Rey rolls him up for the pin and the final spot in the Elimination Chamber match. After the match Ziggler tries to get revenge by attacking Mysterio but gets hit with the 619 instead.

So Smackdown’s main event inside the demonic steel for the upcoming Elimination Chamber pay-per-view will be the Undertaker defending his title against CM Punk, Chris Jericho, Rey Mysterio, John Morrison and R Truth.

Main Event Interview – The Cutting Edge

Edge lets us know that he is glad to be back and says that all of the hard work during his rehab was worth it. He replays the footage of his confrontation with Sheamus from Raw and is then interrupted by Chris Jericho. They bicker back and forth for a bit until CM Punk interrupts to save the segment (and all of you). After Punk preaches for a bit, the lights go out and the Undertaker appears once they come back on. Edge and Taker clear Jericho and the Society out of the ring and then stare each other down as the show ends

credit: Inside Pulse

In Memory of Jack Brisco (1941-2010) graphic opens the broadcast.

WWE open, Raw open.  Tonight, Bret Hart confronts Mr. McMahon!  Also, William Shatner guest hosts!  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are our hosts.

Justin Roberts introduces the winner of the 2010 Royal Rumble Match, Edge!  Edge says he’s back, and in the main event at WrestleMania.  He goes on at length about his injury, his beef with Chris Jericho, etc.  He talks about the possibilities for his WrestleMania opponent.  As he finishes his promo, the WWE Champion, Sheamus comes out to the ring.  They banter back and forth.  Sheamus cheap shots Edge and sets up for the pump kick, but Edge ducks, double leg takedown, beats the hell out of him, then spears him.

Shot of Nashville.

Elimination Chamber hype video.  Tonight, we’ll see Qualifying Matches!

John Cena is headed our way!

Bullshit WWE fact of the week.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: John Cena vs. Cody Rhodes.  Rhodes clubbers Cena to start.  Cena avoids a knee drop and starts his comeback, but Rhodes turns the spinny backdrop into a reverse cradle for 2.  Cena finishes his comeback.  Rhodes avoids the Attitude Adjustment and hits a front suplex for 2.  Rhodes hits a moonsault for 2.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment for the pin in 2:52.

Clips of the Montreal Screwjob from 1997.

Josh Matthews asks Mr. McMahon if he’s seen Bret Hart here tonight.  Vince says he doesn’t think Bret will show up.  Vince goes into his office and bitches at someone offscreen.  The camera pans left to reveal William Shatner, who says he can’t wait for Bret to embarrass McMahon tonight.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Jack Swagger vs. Unified WWE Tag Team Champion Triple H.  Triple H comes out without the belts, just to make sure we know the tag titles don’t matter.  Swagger starts with some amateur-style mat work.  He does some push ups and poses, then Triple H kicks his ass.  Triple H sends Swagger out of the ring and into the barricade.  Commercials.  Swagger drops Triple H with a DDT for 2.  Swagger keeps up the momentum and goes for abdominal stretch, but Triple H hip tosses him, then throws him out of the ring again.  Swagger hits a powerslam and clamps on a headlock.  Triple H comes back and hits a spinebuster for 2.  Swagger backdrops out of the Pedigree and hits the springboard Vader Bomb for 2.  Swagger hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Swagger lifts Triple H up on his shoulder, but fucks around about it too long and allows Triple H to counter him and hit the Pedigree for the pin in 9:09.  Good little match.

NEXT, Randy Orton takes on Shawn Michaels in a Qualifying Match!

Royal Rumble highlight video.

William Shatner does spoken word renditions of WWE entrance themes.  Funny stuff.

Shawn Michaels is sullen and downtrodden.  Triple H comes in, followed by Hornswoggle.  Triple H: “He did what with my music?”  Triple H teases being mad at Michaels, then says he would have done the same things to Michaels given the opportunity last night.  Shawn’s too upset for levity.  Triple H tells him to get over this whole Undertaker business and get himself in the Elimination Chamber.

Randy Orton makes his entrance.  Commercials.

WWE Rewind: Orton vs. Sheamus from the Royal Rumble and the disintegration of Legacy.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Randy Orton vs. Unified WWE Tag Team Champion Shawn Michaels.  Michaels also buries the tag titles but not bothering to bring them out with him.  They lock up.  Orton backs Michaels into the corner, breaks, and they stare at each other.  Lock up again.  Michaels throws some chops and drops Orton with a neckbreaker.  Michaels goes for an early superkick, but Orton bails.  Looks like he might have hurt his face.  Orton gets back in and goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Michaels counters.  Michaels hits a diving cross body for 2.  Orton hits the 3.0.  Cole brings up Michaels’ history of back injuries.  Orton stomps Michaels.  Orton hits a high dropkick for 2.  Orton attempts a superplex, but Michaels punches him down and hits the diving elbow drop.  “VINTAGE MICHAELS!”  Orton avoids the superkick, Michaels avoids the RKO.  Michaels hits some inverted atomic drops, the flying forearm, and nips up.  Orton schoolboys Michaels for the pin in 6:38.  Good little match.  Michaels is angry.

More clips of the history between Vince and Bret.  The confrontation is TONIGHT!

WrestleMania hype video.

A shot of some music club in Nashville.

Cole and Lawler talk about Shawn Michaels’ woes.

Randy Orton meets up with Ted Dibiase backstage.  Dibiase congratulates him, then apologizes about last night.  Orton just gives him a creepy glare.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Mark Henry vs. Ted Dibiase Jr.  They lock up.  Henry overpowers Dibiase.  Well what did you expect?  Henry drops Dibiase repeatedly and clotheslines him out of the ring.  Dibiase wraps Henry’s arm around the post, then drop toe holds him into the steps.  Back inside, Dibiase goes after the arm.  Cover gets 2.  Dibiase goes for a cross body, but Henry catches him.  Dibiase manages to avoid getting squashed and hurts the arm again.  Dibiase goes for the Dream Street, but fails.  Dibiase hits an armbreaker for the pin in 3:05.

Kofi Kingston takes on The Big Show in the final qualifying match, tonight!

Cole and Lawler introduce a very nice Jack Brisco tribute video.

WWE Slam of the Week: Last Monday, Gail Kim defeated Alicia Fox to advance to the finals of the Divas Championship Tournament.

Gail Kim and Kelly Kelly are talking.  Maryse interrupts.  They talk a bit, then Maryse speaks French.  Gail and Kelly agree that it was weird.

The Miz and Big Show are talking in Shatner’s office.  They want Shatner to give them a tag title shot.  The Straight Edge Society comes in.  Punk and Gallows want their title shot too.  Shatner comes in as “Raw Match Negotiator.”  Shatner books DX vs. Show & Miz vs. Punk & Gallows for the titles next week, plugs Priceline, then tries to freeze frame, to the confusion of everyone else there.

Triple H tells Shawn Michaels to chill and forget about the whole Undertaker business.  Michaels won’t.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Kofi Kingston vs. The Big Show.  The United States Champion, The Miz, comes out to join Cole and Lawler on commentary.  Kofi tries throwing kicks at Show’s legs, but Show throws him around.  Kofi manages to sucker Show into crotching himself on the top rope, then dropkicks him off of the apron.  Commercials.  During the break, Show speared Kofi and set to work mauling him.  Show sends Kofi to the outside.  Miz leaves the announce table to taunt him.  MVP jumps the barricade and kicks Miz’s ass.  Show picks Kofi up by the head and puts him on the apron.  Kofi pulls him across the top rope and tries a dive, but fucks it up.  Kofi rallies, ducks a clothesline, and hits Show with some kicks.  Boom Drop gets 2.  Show goes for a chokeslam, but Kofi thumbs him in the eye.  Show accidentally KO punches the referee.  Show disposes of Kofi and tries to take up the ref.  Referee Scott Armstrong comes out and DQ’s Show at 8:18.  Show is upset by this.  He yells that it was an accident.

Clips of the January 4 Bret/Vince confrontation.  Their next confrontation is NEXT!

Shot of Nashville.  They confirm that Kofi Kingston has qualified for the Elimination Chamber.

NASCAR Driver Carl Edwards guest hosts next week!  Plug for the Tag title match.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring to introduce William Shatner.  Shatner comes out flanked by the Bella Twins.  Shatner trips on the rope and knocks Lawler down.  They agree that they’re okay.  Shatner introduces Bret Hart.  Bret talks a bit, then calls out Vince McMahon.  Vince struts his way to the ring.  Vince says he doesn’t regret anything he’s done to Bret.  Bret says that’s the first true thing Vince has said to him, and lists some of the times Vince has lied to him.  They go back and forth for a bit.  Vince says Bret is pathetic and has no personality.  My DVD stops because I didn’t account for such a long overrun when I set my recorder.  Off to YouTube to find the rest of the segment!  Vince says Bret deserved to be screwed and he’s not going to put Bret’s father into the Hall of Fame because he doesn’t deserve it.  Bret kicks Vince’s ass.  Bret teases putting Vince in the Sharpshooter, but Batista appears, gently grabs Bret’s head, and lightly punches him.  Crowd wants Cena to make the save, but he’s nowhere to be found.  Batista holds Bret so Vince can spit on him.  Gross.  Fin.

Good show all in all, but my DVD going out before the last segment was over sucked.

WWE open, awesome Royal Rumble opening video package, pyro and ballyhoo.  We’re LIVE from the Philips Arena in Atlanta, Georgia!  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker are our hosts.

Savannah introduces the opening match, for the ECW Championship.

ECW Championship Match: Christian (c) vs. Ezekiel Jackson (w/ William Regal).  Jackson overpowers Christian to start.  Zeke mouths off and Christian slaps him, then bails and gets Jackson to give chase, which allows Christian to gain the advantage.  Christian springs to the top rope and takes out Zeke on the outside with a dive.  Christian avoids clotheslines and slaps Zeke again.  That strikes me as poor planning.  Zeke wails on Christian.  Christian goes for the Killswitch, but fails.  Zeke tries to press slam Christian, but Christian escapes and stands on Zeke on the middle rope, as he is apt to do.  Christian slides out, hits a palm strike, and tries to come off the top rope, but Zeke pulls him down and sends him out of the ring.  Regal tries to interfere, so the referee ejects him from ringside.  Zeke cranks on a neck lock back in the ring.  Christian tries to fight out, but Zeke chokeslams him for 2.  Zeke hits a stalling vertical suplex for 2.  Christian tries to fight back again, but Zeke hits a choke bomb for 2.  Sick enzui lariat gets 2.  Zeke keeps up the heat on Christian.  Christian comes back with a missile dropkick for 2, then goes for the Killswitch but fails again.  Christian goes for a diving headbutt, but Zeke avoids it.  Zeke hits a lariat for 2.  “LARIATO!” says Striker.  Zeke hits a backbreaker for 2.  Christian avoids Zeke in the corner and hits his through the ropes kick, then a tornado DDT for 2.  Zeke hits another lariat for 2.  Christian fails the Killswitch again, but jumps on Zeke’s back and clamps on a sleeper hold.  Zeke gets hold of him and Oklahoma Stampedes him into the turnbuckles twice.  Christian escapes and hits the Killswitch out of nowhere for the pin in 12:01.  Good match!

Teddy Long and Tiffany talk in the GM office.  Cryme Tyme comes in.  They’re mad because the two of them are only allowed one spot in the Rumble match.  They say they’ve talked someone into giving them their spot.  The call in Great Khali.  They tell him he can kiss Tiffany if they can have his spot.  Ranjin Singh comes in and explains the situation to Khali.  They end up singing “Pants On The Ground.”  The Miz comes in, as confused as I am.  Teddy says that since there is no Raw guest host present, he’s in charge, so tonight, The Miz will defend the United States Championship against MVP.  Khali and Singh sing “Who Let The Dogs Out.”

Randy Orton is sitting in his locker room.  Cody Rhodes comes in and tells him that he’ll be there for him tonight, but Ted Dibiase has been talking about winning the Rumble match and going on to beat Orton for the WWE Championship.

Justin Roberts introduces the United States Championship Match!

WWE United States Championship Match: The Miz (c) vs. Montel Vontavious Porter.  They go straight at it.  MVP gets the first cover off of a clothesline.  MVP hits a suplex and floats over for a 1 count.  MVP keeps up the offensive.  Miz bails.  MVP follows him out and drops him across the barricade.  Miz gets back inside.  When MVP tries to follow, Miz pushes him off the apron and sends him face first into the announcers’ table.  Miz puts the boots to MVP on the outside and then back inside.  Miz either wears MVP down or gives him a rest with a hold on the mat.  MVP makes his comeback.  Ballin’ elbow drop.  MVP goes for the Playmaker, but Miz counters, then runs into MVP’s Yakuza kick for 2.  Miz pulls MVP across the top rope from the apron, goes for knee lift, but MVP hits a shoulder block for 2.  Miz avoids the Yakuza kick in the corner and goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but MVP turns it into a front cradle for 2.  MVP gets 2 counts with various cradles.  Miz bails, but MVP throws him back in the ring.  Miz gets an inside cradle for the pin in 7:30.  Fine match.  Miz taunts MVP with the belt, so MVP gives him the Playmaker.

The Big Show runs into Chris Jericho backstage.  Show says Jericho is jealous of Show’s new partnership with The Miz.  Jericho runs down the list of all of Miz’s bad qualities, which happen to be some of Jericho’s same qualities.  Show says his loyalties are now to himself, and he’ll throw Jericho out of the Rumble if it comes down to it.  R-Truth says if Show doesn’t, he will.  Jericho looks to Show for backup, but Show has already left.

Randy Orton is walking backstage when he runs into Ted Dibiase.  Dibiase tells him the opposite of what Rhodes told him earlier.

Tomorrow night, William Shatner guest hosts Raw!  And Bret Hart returns to confront Mr. McMahon!  The announcers plug what the video just plugged, then show soldiers in the crowd.

WWE Championship Match: Sheamus (c) vs. Randy Orton.  Entrances, intros, and a long stare down.  They finally lock up.  Orton drops Sheamus with a dropkick, then slithers back to the corner… like a snake!  Sheamus clubs Orton down and hits a swank looking arm breaker.  Orton bails.  Sheamus follows him out, beats him up, and brings him back in.  Man, Sheamus is so white he’s almost clear.  Orton chop blocks Sheamus and attacks the leg.  Sheamus fights back and attacks Orton’s shoulder.  Orton works the leg again.  Sheamus works Orton’s shoulder again.  They trade punches with the “BOO!”  “YAY!” bit from the crowd.  Crowd likes Orton in this one.  Sheamus hits a swank uranage backbreaker for 2.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge, but Orton slips out and kicks the bad leg twice, sending Sheamus out of the ring.  Orton catches Sheamus on the way back in the DDT OF MURDER!  Cover, but Sheamus grabs the bottom rope to break the count.  Orton sets up the PUNT OF DOOM, but Sheamus bails out of the ring to avoid it.  Cody Rhodes comes in through the crowd and attacks Sheamus.  The referee politely waits until Orton hits the RKO and covers before calling for the DQ, giving Sheamus the win in 12:26.  Good match other than the stupid ref taking so long to call for the bell.  Rhodes tries to explain himself to Orton.  Orton slugs him and beats his head against the mat.  Ted Dibiase runs out to pull him off.  Orton punches Teddy and screams at both of them that they’re done, so I guess that means Legacy is kaput.  Orton turns around and eats Sheamus’ pump kick.

Shots of Atlanta, plug for one of the Rumble theme songs.

Video package for the feud that is my pick for the 2010 Gooker of the Year Award, Michelle McCool vs. Mickie James.

Tony Chimel announces the Women’s Title match.  Michelle McCool comes out and cuts an annoying promo.  Layla comes out in her fat suit and pig nose.  The real Mickie James runs to the ring, kicks Layla’s ass, and hits the ring for…

WWE Women’s Championship Match: Michelle McCool (c) (w/ Layla) vs. Mickie James.  Layla gets on the apron.  McCool accidentally nails her.  Mickie hits the DDT for the pin to regain the championship in 22 seconds.  She drops Layla with a kick and Layla falls on Michelle.  Gail Kim, Maria, Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, and the Bella Twins bring a huge cake out and hold McCool and Layla for Mickie to throw it in their faces.  At least this horrible fucking angle had a satisfying conclusion.  At least I hope to God that’s the conclusion.

WWE Elimination Chamber, LIVE Sunday, February 21!

Rey Mysterio is headed to the ring!

Mysterio/Undertaker video package.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: The Undertaker (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Mysterio goes with his usual big guy match strategy of being abusive and elusive.  Undertaker picks Mysterio up and throws him over the top rope to eliminate him from the Royal Rumble Match.  Mysterio gets up to the apron and Undertaker punches him off.  Mysterio avoids the apron leg drop, but eats it on the second attempt.  Mysterio goes for the 619, but Undertaker catches him and goes for the Tombstone.  Mysterio wriggles free and kicks Taker in the head.  Mysterio tries a springboard cross body, but eats Undertaker’s boot.  Taker dismantles Mysterio at ringside.  Mysterio avoids a big boot, causing Taker to wrap his leg around the post.  Mysterio attacks the leg.  Taker goes for a Last Ride on the outside, but Mysterio grabs the ropes and takes Taker down with an Asai moonsault.  Taker has a bloody nose.  Taker avoids a baseball slide dropkick and THROWS Mysterio into the barricade.  Back inside, pissed off Taker dismantles Mysterio.  Mysterio takes Taker down.  Taker sits up.  Mysterio dropkicks him down and hits the springboard guillotine leg drop for 2.  Mysterio keeps up the comeback until Taker murders him with a clothesline.  Mysterio avoids the Last Ride and hits the 619, dropkick, another 619, then goes for the West Coast Pop, but Taker catches him and drills him with the Last Ride for the pin in 11:08.  REALLY good match here.

Backstage, Kane tells Shawn Michaels that his obsession with The Undertaker is unhealthy.  Triple H enters as Kane leaves.  They agree that tonight, “May the best man win.”  Michaels says him and The Undertaker is destiny.  Triple H says he’ll have to find another way.

WrestleMania teaser video.

The announcers introduce the awesome Royal Rumble hype video.

Justin Roberts explains the rules of the Royal Rumble that we’ve all known by heart for years.

Royal Rumble Match: #1 is Dolph Ziggler.  #2 is Evan Bourne.  They both look up at the WrestleMania XXVI sign for a cool visual moment, then go at it.  Bourne gets the better of Ziggler with a rana and a big kick.  Ziggler lands some punches, dropkicks Bourne, and tries to eliminate him but fails.  Bourne ranas Ziggler to the apron, but Ziggler manages to stay in.  Ziggler hits the Zig Zag and tries to throw Bourne out again.  Bourne drops Ziggler with a kick from the apron and hits a Shooting Star press.  #3 is CM Punk (w/ Serena).  Punk tosses Bourne, then clotheslines Ziggler out of the ring.  Serena hands Punk the microphone and cuts his usual promo, mid-Rumble.  The countdown begins and Punk says “Excuse me, it’s Clobberin’ Time.”  Awesome.  #4 is JTG.  JTG runs wild for a minute, then gets eliminated.  Punk continues his promo.  #5 is Great Khali (w/ Ranjin Singh).  Punk offers to “save” Khali.  Khali chops him down and puts him in the head vice.  #6 is Beth Phoenix, the second woman to ever enter the Royal Rumble.  Khali picks Beth up and gently places her on the apron.  Beth kisses him and pulls him out of the ring to eliminate him.  Beth clotheslines Punk and kicks his ass.  Punk counters her and gives her the Go 2 Sleep.  #7 is Zack Ryder.  Punk eliminates Phoenix.  Punk teases offering to save Ryder, then hits him with the mic, kicks his ass, and eliminates him.  Punk continues his promo.  #8 is one half of the Unified WWE Tag Team Champions, Triple H, who won the last Rumble match held in Atlanta.  Triple H kicks Punk’s ass.  Punk hits the knee to the corner.  Triple H avoids the bulldog and hits the spinebuster.  #9 is the Intercontinental Champion, Drew McInytre.  Triple H beats up McIntyre a bit, then tries to Pedigree Punk.  Punk counters and goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Triple H counters and eliminates Punk.  McIntyre and Triple H go at it.  #10 is Ted Dibiase Jr.  The young heels double team Triple H.  #11 is John Morrison.  Morrison runs wild on Dibiase, then goes after his rival, McIntyre.  Morrison drills McIntyre with a spinning DDT.  Dibiase attacks Morrison and goes for the Dream Street, but Morrison counters and drops Dibiase with a kick.  Morrison hits the Starship Pain on McIntyre.  Triple H clotheslines Morrison.  #12 is Kane.  Kane hits the diving clothesline on Triple H, then runs wild on everybody else.  Double chokeslam to Morrison and McIntyre.  Kane tries to eliminate Dibiase.  Triple H saves him, oddly.  Kane chokeslams Triple H and tries to eliminate Dibiase again.  #13 is Cody Rhodes, who saves his partner.  Legacy double teams Kane.  Rhodes drops Hunter and McIntyre.  Morrison fights Rhodes but gets knocked to the apron.  Morrison tries a springboard, but gets caught with a dropkick from Rhodes.  Triple H stops Legacy from eliminating Kane.  Triple H almost eliminates Rhodes.  #14 is MVP, but Miz hits him in the back of the head the United States title belt before he can make it to the ring.  Hunter fights Rhodes and Kane fights McIntyre.  Morrison hits the Flying Chuck on McIntyre.  The referees help MVP out.  #15 is Carlito.  He runs wild on everyone and hits the Back Stabber on Triple H, McIntyre, and Dibiase.  #16 is the United States Champion, The Miz.  Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale on Carlito, then goes after Morrison.  MVP comes in and kicks Miz’s ass, eliminates Miz and himself in the process.  #17 is Matt Hardy.  Twist of Fate to McIntyre.  Side Effect to Rhodes.  Kane eliminates Hardy.  Triple H eliminates Kane.  Spinebusters to Rhodes, Carlito, Dibiase, and Morrison.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree on Rhodes, but McIntyre takes out his leg.  Carlito and McIntyre attack Triple H’s leg.  #18 is Unified WWE Tag Team Champion Shawn Michaels.  Michaels eliminates Carlito, Rhodes, Dibiase, and Morrison in short order.  McIntyre gets in some offense on Michaels.  Hunter wakes up for some DX double teaming to eliminate McIntyre.  DX stare down.  #19 is John Cena.  Cena runs wild on DX with his comeback routine, including a double Five Knuckle Shuffle.  Cena tries the Attitude Adjustment on Michaels.  Triple H saves and Pedigrees Cena.  Michaels shows what an ingrate he is by superkicking Triple H out of the match.  #20 is Shelton Benjamin.  Shelton runs wild.  Paydirt to Michaels.  He tries it on Cena, but Cena lifts him up and eliminates him.  #21 is Yoshi Tatsu!  Yoshi runs wild for a minute, and is awesome until Cena eliminates him.  #22 is The Big Show.  He runs wild for about 10 seconds.  Cena and Michaels counter each other.  Michaels has to do the skin the cat spot to avoid being eliminated, almost is able to head scissors Big Show, but Show drops him on the mat.  #23 is Mark Henry.  Henry and Show have their big guy fight for a few seconds.  Cena hits some shoulder blocks on Show and Henry body slams him.  Cena tries to F-U Henry but fails.  #24 is Chris Masters.  Masters press slams Michaels and tries to put Show in the Master Lock, but Show eliminates him.  Henry struggles with Show on the ropes.  Michaels tries to help.  #25 is R-Truth.  Truth eliminates Henry AND Show, then runs wild on Cena and Michaels.  #26 is Jack Swagger.  Swagger has his turn to run wild.  Oklahoma Stampede to R-Truth.  Swagger ALMOST eliminates Michaels, who luckily and desperately manages to hold on.  #27 is Kofi Kingston.  Kofi runs wild.  Boom Drop to Swagger, then Kofi eliminates him.  Kofi almost gets eliminated himself, but eliminates R-Truth instead.  #28 is Chris Jericho, who gets a big pop.  Jericho gets his licks in.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on Jericho.  Michaels hits a DDT on Cena.  Michaels hits the diving elbow drop on Jericho.  Michaels warms up a superkick, but Kofi nails him with the Trouble In Paradise.  Cena eliminates Kofi.  Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Cena.  #29 is the returning Edge!  Edge goes straight for his former partner Jericho, spears everyone, and eliminates Jericho.  Edgecution to Cena.  #30 is Batista.  All participants have entered and there are only 4 left: Michaels, Cena, Edge, and Batista.  Batista runs wild and hits spinebusters on Michaels and Cena.  Edge spears Batista.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on Edge.  Michaels hits the diving elbow on Cena and an enzuigirl on Batista.  Diving elbow to Batista.  Superkick to Cena.  Superkick to Batista.  Edge clotheslines Michaels and they both go over but manage to stay on the apron.  Michaels superkicks Edge back INTO the ring.  Batista hits Michaels from behind and eliminates him.  Michaels goes crazy, throws a ref into the table, and superkicks referee Charles Robinson.  He finally leaves.  I hope this means we’re gonna get crazy Shawn Michaels leading to WrestleMania.  Cena counters the Batista Bomb.  Batista counters the Attitude Adjustment.  Cena low bridges Batista out of the ring.  We’re down to 2.  Edge throws Cena out of the ring to win it in 49:24.  Edge celebrates.

I’ll give the show a thumbs up all in all as the undercard was really good (especially Undertaker/Mysterio).  The Rumble itself was a little rushed and underwhelming, with way too much “guy comes in, runs wild, gets eliminated.”  Still, even a poor Rumble is fun to watch.

WWE Superstars 2/4/10 1/5 (HQ)

Here is the latest WWE Superstars matches.

visit http://www.youtube.com/user/xWWELegendHDxV1 for more.

I love it when Chris Jericho and Edge come face to face.

Chris is being a demanding little pup and Edge puts him in his place.

WWE open. Tonight on Smackdown, DX defends the Unified WWE Tag Team Championship against the Straight Edge Society’s CM Punk & Luke Gallows. DX makes their way to the ring as Todd Grisham and Matt Striker welcome us to the show.

DX starts to do their pre-match spiel, but are interrupted by Rey Mysterio Jr. Mysterio is offended that Michaels thinks it’s a foregone conclusion that The Undertaker is going to beat Mysterio at the Royal Rumble. DX no sells him as any kind of threat. Mysterio says he’ll beat The Undertaker this Sunday. He and Michaels threaten each other. The Straight Edge Society or Punk, Gallows, and Serena comes out. Punk says tonight, he and Gallows will become Tag Team Champions. Triple H tells Punk he’s relieved to know that he’s straight, but nobody cares about his abstinence from alcohol. Triple H says he doesn’t drink, smoke, or do drugs either, but he doesn’t look like a crack head. He recommends that Punk take a shower. Smackdown GM Teddy Long comes out and screws us out the advertised main event, canceling the Tag title match and making Mysterio vs. Michaels and Punk vs. Triple H for tonight. Commercials.

WWE Rewind: Last week, CM Punk shaved Serena’s head.

CM Punk (w/ Luke Gallows & Serena) vs. Unified WWE Tag Team Champion Triple H. They lock up. Hunter takes Punk over with a side headlock. Triple H drops Punk with a clothesline for 2, then works the side headlock again. They go back and forth for a bit, trading blows. Hunter goes for the Pedigree, but Punk escapes the predicament and bails. Triple H pulls him back in the ring, then gets distracted by Gallows, which allows Punk to hit the springboard clothesline. Insta-commercial. Punk works over Triple H. Hunter blocks a suplex attempt and suplexes Punk. Punk drops Hunter with a kick to the head for 2. Hunter fights back and hits the spinebuster. Both guys make it to their feet. Triple H makes his comeback. Knee to the face, followed by punches. Triple H tells Punk to suck it, then drops him with a punch for 2. Triple H goes for the Pedigree, but Punk backdrops him out. Punk hits the knee in the corner and goes for the bulldog, but Triple H hits a shin breaker and locks in the figure-four leglock. Triple H uses the ropes for leverage. Serena distracts the referee, allowing Gallows to deck Triple H to break the hold. Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep. Hunter counters and goes for the Pedigree. Serena jumps on Triple H’s back to cause the DQ (9:21 shown). The Straight Edge Society beats down Triple H and teases shaving his head, but Shawn Michaels runs in for the save. They clothesline Gallows out of the ring. Punk uses Serena as a shield to escape. Michaels teases superkicking her, but she bails. Triple H stomps on Punk’s clippers. Good little match.

Tonight, Rey Mysterio takes on Shawn Michaels, plus Drew McIntyre defends the Intercontinental Championship against John Morrison in a No DQ Match!

Chris Jericho is headed our way!

WWE.com plug.

Chris Jericho vs. R-Truth.  These two have been having their issues lately.  They lock up.  Jericho does some stuff, then Truth clotheslines him out of the ring and tries to dive on him.  Jericho avoids it and R-Truth crashes and burns.  Insta-commercial.  Jericho works over R-Truth.  Truth hits a clothesline and starts making a comeback.  Truth takes Jericho over with a head scissors and hits a kick for 2.  Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho, but R-Truth counters into an inside cradle for 2.  R-Truth avoids the Codebreaker by holding onto the ropes, then pins Jericho with a jackknife hold (4:55 shown).  Fine little match.

They show the Undertaker/Mysterio confrontation from last week, and Batista’s subsequent attack on Mysterio.

Josh Matthews interviews Batista.  Batista says he’ll hurt anyone who gets in his way of winning the Royal Rumble.

John Morrison is headed our way!

Royal Rumble hype video.

Bullshit WWE “fact” of the week.

John Morrison comes out and cuts a promo, leading to…

No DQ Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship: Drew McIntyre (c) vs. John Morrison.  Morrison kicks McIntyre’s ass to start.  These two have been engaged in quite the rivalry.  Morrison clotheslines McIntyre out of the ring and follows him out, but McIntyre surprises him with blows from a Singapore cane he pulled from under the ring.  Back into the ring, cover gets 2.  McIntyre works over Morrison.  Morrison starts fighting back and McIntyre bails.  He tries to take the belt and leaves, but Morrison stops him and throws him back in the ring.  McIntyre manages to get back on the offensive.  Insta-commercial.  McIntyre continues to beat up Morrison.  Morrison avoids the double arm DDT and goes for the Flying Chuck, but McIntyre pushes Morrison out of the ring.  They fight into the crowd.  Back at the ringside area, Morrison wails on McIntyre with the Singapore cane.  McIntyre thumbs Morrison in the eye, then tries to use the cane, but Morrison hip tosses him onto the steps.  Ouch.  Back into the ring, cover gets 2.  Morrison goes for the Starship Pain, but McIntyre gets his knees up.  McIntyre hits the double arm DDT onto the belt for the pin (8:14 shown).  Pretty good match here.

Mysterio vs. Michaels is still to come!

Plug for the Royal Rumble theme song.

Shot of downtown Cincinnati.

The Women’s Champion, Michelle McCool comes to the ring.  She makes fun of Mickie James.  I’m so motherfucking sick of this motherfucking angle.  They show the retarded, food-related shenanigans from last week.  She issues an open challenge.  Mickie James’ music hits, and Layla comes out in a fat suit and a pig nose.  Whoever came up with this angle, I hope his dick turns black and falls off.  The bell rings and there’s a referee, so I guess we officially have…

WWE Women’s Championship Match: Michelle McCool (c) vs. Layla in a fat suit pretending to be Mickie James, who isn’t fat at all.  Seriously, whoever is booking this shit needs to fuck off and die.  Michelle leads Layla around the ringside area holding a donut in front of her.  Michelle trips Layla and pins her in 53 seconds.  I love Striker, but I kinda want to punch him in the dick for playing along with this retarded shit on commentary.

Mysterio/Michaels is still to come, and hopefully won’t piss me off as much as the previous segment.

Royal Rumble “By The Numbers” video.

Grisham and Striker hype the Royal Rumble card.

Shawn Michaels is walking in the back.  He runs into Batista, who tells him to stay out of his way at the Rumble.  Michaels tells Batista he always thought he was overrated.  Batista says “Maybe I should…” but Triple H interrupts before he can reveal what he should maybe do.  Batista bitches down to Hunter.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Unified WWE Tag Team Champion Shawn Michaels.  Michaels works a headlock to start.  Once they get back to their feet, Michaels hits Mysterio with a bunch of chops.  Michaels just fucking throws Mysterio out of the ring.  Back inside, Mysterio hits a deja-vu that puts Michaels in 619 position.  Michaels bails to avoid it and collect himself.  Back inside, Michaels chops Mysterio some more.  Mysterio bails, but Michaels follows him out and chops him again.  Back inside.  Michaels stomps Mysterio in the face.  Michaels avoids the 619.  Mysterio avoids the superkick.  Mysterio ranas Michaels and himself out of the ring.  Insta-commercial.  Raw plug.  Back to action, with Mysterio hammering Michaels.  Mysterio attacks Michaels’ leg.  Michaels throws more chops while selling the leg.  He drops Mysterio with a neckbreaker.  Mysterio hops to the top rope, but Michaels hits him, causing him to get tied to the tree of woe for a moment, but then he falls.  Mysterio goes for a Frankensteiner,  but Michaels catches his leg and locks him in a modified figure-four leglock.  Mysterio gets out of it and rocks Michaels with an enzuigiri.  They trade blows.  Mysterio kicks at the bad leg.  Michaels drops Mysterio and nips up.  Mysterio hits a rana and a springboard Bombs Away for 2.  Mysterio drops Michaels and goes for the springboard splash, but Michaels gets his knees up.  Michaels hits the diving elbow drop and warms up the band for the Sweet Chin Music.  Mysterio cuts him off with a rolling kick and hits the 619.  Mysterio springboards, but flies right into a midair superkick.  Batista runs in and spears Michaels to cause the DQ (about 12 minutes shown).  Pretty good match.  Batista hits a spinebuster on Mysterio and sets up Michaels for the Batista Bomb, but Triple H runs out for the save.  Spinebuster to Batista, then clotheslines him and takes them both out of the ring.  Michaels and Mysterio try to make it to their feet.  The lights go out and the gong sounds.  The World Heavyweight Champion, The Undertaker, appears and double chokeslams Michaels and Mysterio.

Good show, except for the Piggy James shit I fucking hate.  Next stop, Royal Rumble!

Chris Jericho opened Friday night’s edition of Smackdown with a typically great promo, in which he abandoned his usual “best in the world at what I do” self promotion for some good, old-fashioned, petulant heel outrage.  Jericho bemoaned the actions of Edge, whose first order of business upon returning to WWE at the Royal Rumble was to eliminate Y2J from the Rumble match.  Claiming that he was the face of Smackdown and deserved to have his complaints addressed by the show’s general manager personally, Jericho called Teddy Long out to the ring.  When the GM didn’t show, Jericho stomped away from the ring and began searching for Long in the backstage area.  When he eventually found his way to Teddy Long’s office, guess who was sitting behind the GM’s desk?

If you said Edge, you were right.  (If you said Kim Chee… you were close).  It was the Rated R Superstar, sitting in wait for the irate Jericho.  The crowd popped for Edge, which is remarkable considering he’s still basically playing a not quite face/not quite heel character.  He and Jericho had a good exchange, punctuated by Y2J’s assertion that his former partner turned rival would regret having returned to the company, to which Edge replied that it was Jericho who would regret Edge’s return.  The promo work both of these performers do is always effortlessly compelling.  Let’s hope they have many more chances to square off on the mic throughout the coming weeks.

It’s a testament to both Edge’s and Jericho’s talents that their performances on Friday’s show only got better from there.  Jericho went on to qualify for the Elimination Chamber match for the Heavyweight Championship, by defeating Matt Hardy.  The match they put on was much more competitive than anyone who’s followed Hardy’s career of late would have expected.  Hardy got in plenty of good offense and kicked out unexpectedly from numerous near falls.  Ultimately it was Jericho’s moment, though, when Y2J scored a Code Breaker and a clean pin, to secure a spot in the Elimination Chamber.

Edge, for his part, hosted a Cutting Edge segment, with the Undertaker billed as his special guest.   He began the segment by further selling his return and Rumble victory, until Jericho interrupted him and the two had another great exchange.  What made this second Edge/Jericho segment even better was the addition of CM Punk, who came to the ring and more than held his own with the two veterans, before the lights went out to signify the Undertaker’s belated arrival.  The Taker did what any great talk show guest (from Bill Murray to Marv Albert to Joan Embery from the San Diego Zoo) has always done: beat the hell out of the other guests.  It was a well performed segment, which took a great stride toward building interest in the upcoming Elimination Chamber match.

All of the EC qualifying matches were unpredictable and compelling.  In addition to Jericho’s going over Matt Hardy to claim a spot in the bout, John Morrison earned a spot, by winning a triple threat match against Kane and Drew McIntyre.  It was good of Kane to do the job for Morrison, by falling cleanly to an awesome looking Starship Pain.  R Truth secured a spot in the Chamber, when he defeated Mike Knoxx, in another good match, while Rey Mysterio, to earn his spot, defeated Dolph Ziggler, in what may have een the best match on the card.  In the most surprising qualifying out, Batista stepped out of the ring and took a very deliberate ten count, thus handing the victory and a place in the Chamber to his opponent CM Punk.  The crowd didn’t like that, and Punk and his Straightedge Society loved that they didn’t.  It will be interesting to find out exactly what compelled the usually title-driven Batista to forfeit his chance at winning the Undertaker’s gold.  Our guess is that the Animal’s malicious gaze is focused firmly elsewhere… on John Cena most likely.

So by the end of the show, the Smackdown Elimination Chamber looked like this: The Undertaker defends his World Heavyweight Championship against Jericho, CM Punk, Rey Mysterio, John Morrison, and R Truth.  These names beat RAW EC lineup hands down.  This group of performers is likely to put on the best Elimination Chamber match in years.

I think CM Punk might be my favorite thing in Wrestling at the moment, his performance at the Royal Rumble on Sunday pretty much cemented that feeling. He seems so sleazy and at the same time so awesome with the beard, the hairy chest, the savior act, not to mention Luke Gallows and Serena who play their parts to perfection. I look forward to seeing The Straight Edge Society each week and they provide some pretty enjoyable segments in my opinion. I find it funny to feel this way about CM Punk in the year 2010 because I thought he was one of the most overhyped nothing special guys on the indies for a while. He just did nothing for me and now things have changed.

Wrestlemania 26

After Sunday’s Royal Rumble Pay-Per View and Monday night’s Raw I got to thinking, thinking about what Wrestlemania 26’s card will look like. 

Hopefully I will get some matches correct, but I’m sure some of my ideas won’t get even close.

Anyways it will be fun to look back at these predictions on March 28, fifty-four days from now, when the biggest event of the wrestling year takes place.

Money in the Bank Ladder Match

Ever since it’s inception at Wrestlemania 21, the Money in the Bank match never disappoints and is always a highlight from every years Wrestlemania. Every year mid-carders are given the chance to have a shot at any title, anywhere, anytime, and any place. The Ladder match has elevated the likes of Edge and CM Punk and given them their chance to shine.

At this years mania I see the contestants as followed; John Morrison, Christian, Kofi Kingston, Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Shelton Benjamin, and Cody Rhodes.

I don’t really know who would win this match but if I was forced to choose right now I would put money (pun intended) on Kofi winning.

U.S. Championship Match: The Miz vs. M.V.P.(c)

These two have started a promising feud within the last month and have even had a match at the Royal Rumble pay-per-view.

I see another match at Elimination chamber where I see MVP taking the title from Miz which will set up a final match at Wrestlemania.

I would look for some interference or appearance by the Big Show, in the end I see Miz winning the title and looking for a new challenger for his title.

Tag Team Match for Divas and Womens Title: Mickie James (c) and Gail Kim vs. Maryse (c) and Beth Pheonix

First off let me state what the stipulations of the match; If Mickie James team loses then she loses the Women’s Championship to Beth Phoenix, if Maryse’s team loses than Gail Kim wins the Divas championship.

The women always deserve a spot on the card so I felt like this would be a good way to incorporate the top four woman’s wrestlers in the WWE today.

Look for a win by the team of James and Gim, as the heels never win in big Diva’s matches.

Hair vs. Mask Match: CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

I really don’t know how the WWE will develop this storyline, but they do have a lot of time to pull it off.

By the time Wrestlemania rolls around I see SxE (Straight Edge Society) holding the belts, but the team of Punk and Gallows, accompanied by the lovely Serena, have no one to defend them against.

The storyline writes itself as Mysterio has had his run-ins for steroid violations with the company before, and I think these two could steal the show at Mania.

Obviously Mysterio wouldn’t lose, or would he?

This one is just to close to call, but as I said with the MITB match if I was forced to choose, I would reluctantly say Mysterio.

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase Jr.

Legacy has been teetering on the edge of collapse for the past months and it seems like its break up is only imminent.

After Randy Orton and Ted DiBiase qualified for the WWE Championship elimination chamber match, I am all but certain that this match will take place.

This match could have great effects on DiBiase’s career and possibly launch him into the Main-Event scene, just like Batista did at Wrestlemania 21 against his mentor HHH.

I feel that despite what happens in this match that these two will still be going at it after Mania. Look for a match at Backlash as well.

Look for an Orton win and the launch of a new main-eventer in DiBiase.

Grudge Match: Bret Hart w. David Hart Smith vs. Vince McMahon w. Batista

Ever since Bret Hart’s return on January 4 we all assumed that whatever might occur between him and Vince McMahon would be resolved at Wrestlemania.

After Batista came out and helped Vince McMahon disrespect Bret Hart even further it led me to believe that there will be some type of match between the three.

I was not sure who to add on Bret Hart’s side; well obviously he was one male family member on the current WWE roster today,

If Hart Smith gets the chance to be in this match against Batista, this really could be his chance to shine and show that he can be involved in a serious storyline.

Of course Hart and Hart Smith would have to win this match, and finally allow Hart to stand tall over his nemesis McMahon.

Undertaker vs. John Cena

These two have never had a long or meaningful program against each other, and right now might be the most ideal time to pull the trigger.

This could possibly a great match, as Taker has put on some great matches at Wrestlemania as late and Cena always gives everything he has in his tank at Mania.

Of course Taker will win, but this match could be something special that we won’t forget.

WWE Championship Match: Shawn Michaels vs. HHH (c)

Every day that goes by, it seems that Shawn Michaels is growing more and more frustrated.

First his elimination at the Rumble and the quick roll up win by Orton during his elimination chamber qualifying match.

I really see HHH walking out of the Chamber as the new WWE Champ, and on the next night’s Raw expect the Michaels full heel turn.

These two will certainly not disappoint if given the chance to fight on wrestling’s biggest stage.

Look for a HHH win and an instant classic.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Edge vs. Chris Jericho (c)

When Edge returned and won the Royal Rumble, the first thought that popped into my mind was, who will he face at Wrestlemania?

Well that question was answered in about two seconds when I thought, Chris Jericho of course!

I’m assuming that Jericho goes on to win at Elimination Chamber and become the new World Heavyweight Champion.

After that the storyline pretty much writes itself.

As I said with the HHH and Shawn Michaels match, this one should be an instant classic as well.

Look for a win by the “Rated R Superstar” and the fireworks going off as “Metalingus” goes off and the crowd erupts as Wrestlemania draws to a close.

Conclusion

I’m hoping that some of these matches come true, as some of them have the potential of being instant classics that are remembered forever.

Feel free to comment and give me your predictions as well, I want to hear what you think.

WWE Smackdown results 01/29/2010- ‘Hits and Misses’

Hits

Opening Segment: I had a few problems with the start of Smackdown, but on the whole it was good. I loved how Rey Mysterio interrupted DX. His verbal confrontation against Shawn Michaels was very well done. I loved how he called Michaels out for disrespecting him. Some of the jokes that ensued were not particularly funny, but they were ok. I also liked CM Punk’s interruption trying to get the focus back on him and his Straight Edge Society. I liked hearing Triple H say that he doesn’t drink, smoke or do drugs either. At some point, someone had to say that since that part of Punk’s character shouldn’t be what makes him a heel (as opposed to his cult leader status). I could have done without the gay joke again. This all set up what was a bait-and-switch that I can live with. Assuming that Punk and Luke Gallows do get their Tag Team Title shot down the line, I am fine with getting to see Triple H vs. Punk and Mysterio vs. Michaels instead. Some may criticize WWE for not announcing that match ahead of time, but DX was advertised for the show, and this was an organic way to get to that match.

Triple H vs. Punk: This was a good match and a tease for what these two could possibly do in a longer PPV type match. They did a nice job of booking the match to keep switching control. This wasn’t a typical formula with Punk in control for the bulk of the middle of the match until Triple H made a come back. It went back and forth better than that. The DQ finish was predictable, but was the right move. Serena looked bad trying to jump on The Game’s back the first time, but got it right the second time. Michaels’ save worked well as did the confrontation between DX and Punk afterwards with Punk using Serena as a shield. The frustration shown by Triple H afterwards will help in the build to the eventual Tag Title match.

Jericho vs. Truth: I was glad to see WWE go to this match after it was set up on the previous night’s Superstars. Chris Jericho and R-Truth work well together. I like seeing another mid-card wrestler getting at least a mini push. Jericho has been on something of a losing streak lately, which I hope doesn’t continue for too long. He can only do so many great promos to keep his heat. He needs some wins too. But, it was a good match. My only complaint is that at 8 minutes, it was too short to have a commercial break. I would have rather seen the match only go 5 minutes without a commercial. Other than that, I enjoyed the match.

Morrison vs. McIntyre: This was another good match on this show. The quality wrestling just kept coming and I wasn’t going to complain. The announcers did a good job of setting the stage for this match, commenting on Drew McIntyre’s cheating ways and how he could not get disqualified in this match to keep the Intercontinental Title. I also liked John Morrison’s promo beforehand as it upheld the importance of the IC Belt. Morrison and McIntyre should be commended for having a no DQ match that wasn’t a garbage brawl. For the most part, it was a traditional wrestling match, but they used weapons and the ringside area in smart ways to enhance the action. Morrison had been on a track to the main event, but this losing streak against the rookie McIntyre goes against that. I would love to see Morrison go after the World Title in 2010, but it is hard to do that when he can’t beat the IC Champ.

Mysterio vs. Michaels: It seems that whenever WWE puts Rey Mysterio in the main event (or at the very least a prominent position) on Smackdown, the ratings are high. If that’s the case, and if DX is still a draw, then the ratings for this show culminating in this excellent main event have to be very good. I knew going into the match that the show had to end with Undertaker doing a double choke slam on Mysterio and Michaels. I also knew that Batista had to get involved after what he did to Mysterio last week and his backstage encounter with Michaels this week. The end of the show was predictable, yet very effective in hyping the Royal Rumble. The match itself did not disappoint. It went nearly 16 minutes and on a show that featured good to very good wrestling, this was the best. The match really went back and forth very well. They had so many counters and neither could sustain momentum. I like how the two quick, agile and high flying wrestlers also brawled some and used mat wrestling and submission holds. There was a little bit of everything. They each got to hit all their signature spots. The near falls at the end were convincing. As soon as Mysterio set up for a springboard after finally hitting the 6-1-9, I knew the Shelton Benjamin ending was coming. But again, it was awesome even if I saw it coming. These two in a 20+ minute PPV match would easily deliver a match of the year candidate.

Misses

Batista’s Hat: Batista just looked silly in that outfit with the sweater vest and hat. I honestly can’t remember what he said in his interview with Josh Mathews since I was distracted by his hat. My wife event commented that her pet from Petville has the same outfit that Batista was wearing which for those of you not familiar with the Facebook “game” is not a compliment. That outfit would have been perfect for a different type of heel, but not for a badass heel like Batista.

LayCool: As much as I liked the long Divas segment last week, I did not like this week’s Piggie James scene. I give Layla credit for going all out with it, but I didn’t find it entertaining in the least. It didn’t make me more disgusted with Michelle McCool. It didn’t make me want to see Mickie James get revenge by taking the Women’s Championship at the PPV more than I already did. It went on too long. If it had been shorter it wouldn’t have been so bad. The fact that a WWE referee would go along with the charade was pretty stupid also.

credit: PW Torch

Monday Night RAW – February 1, 2010

Coming off what many are calling the best Royal Rumble ever, I think it was in the top three but not the best, we’re now officially on the
‘Road to Wrestlemania’. Last night at the Royal Rumble Edge made a triumphant return and won the Rumble eliminating John Cena. In the
match we also had Miz and MVP continue their rivalry, plus Shawn Michaels eliminated Triple H, but was later eliminated by Batista.
This denied Shawn Michaels of his number one contender status he wanted so bad, and means he will not face Undertaker at Wrestlemania.
Also last night Randy Orton lost his chance to win the title from Sheamus due to Cody Rhodes, this caused the viper to strike out at his
team. Orton beat the daylights out of Cody and Ted DiBiase, have we reached the end of Legacy? Who will Edge choose to face at
Wrestlemania? Can Triple H forgive Shawn for eliminating him? Where does this leave Shawn for Wrestlemania? What will happen tonight when
Bret Hart confronts Vince McMahon about kicking him last month? What will William Shatner do tonight on RAW? Who will win the useless
Diva’s title, Gail Kim or Maryse (Maryse)? All these questions may be answered tonight on Monday Night RAW!!!

We open this week with the winner of the 2010 Royal Rumble, The ‘Rated R Superstar’ Edge! He comes out to a load ovation, as Cole says no surprise was bigger than Edge’s return last night, as he eliminated his former tag partner Chris Jericho. Let’s hope he doesn’t challenge former partner Christian for the ECW title at Wrestlemania, which would be the worst they could do. Edge is soaking in the cheers of this huge crowd, and says “I’m back”, he says it feels good to be back and will be in the main event of Wrestlemania. Edge talks about winning the tag titles with Chris Jericho, and getting injured, the doctors told him May or June, maybe even never. He says he was sitting home watching the Slammy Awards, and Jericho thanking him for getting injured so could team with Big Show. Edge says watching it the room got very silent, not because Dennis Miller bombed as guest host, but because he made a vow not to miss a third Wrestlemania due to injury. Edge says he is the ultimate opportunist and says he promised to prove the doctors wrong, and to rehab harder than he ever has, and promised to enter the Rumble and win it. Seven weeks after the Slammy Awards, Jericho has his Slammy, his Mugshot on TMZ, but Edge has his ticket to Wrestlemania. Edge continues by saying two years ago he found Undertaker at Wrestlemania and lost, but this year unlike Shawn Michaels if he wants the Dead man he can have him. He says is it better to go after the man who is 17-0 at Mania, or the man who’s never been to Wrestlemania. He can make a decision now, or wait till
after the next PPV, either way this year the Rated R Superstar will headline Wrestlemania! As Edge’s music plays, suddenly out comes the
Champion, Sheamus, also known as the paper champion. Has Sheamus won a match clean since winning the title? Sheamus gets in the ring, as Edge looks at him, and Sheamus says Edge’s isn’t back five seconds and he’s mouthing off, a lot has changed since Edge left. Edge says Raw has
changed; it’s been taken over by an evil Ronald McDonald, Sheamus tells to watch himself. Sheamus says he’s never competed at
Wrestlemania, but he did something Edge couldn’t do, he beat John Cena. Edge says he’s made a career out of beating John Cena and he’s
beaten Randy Orton as well. Sheamus says that was a long time ago, and he will walk out of the Elimination Chamber as champ and won’t break a
sweat beating Edge. Sheamus tells Edge to run to Smackdown so he doesn’t ruin Edge’s Royal Rumble moment, as Edge gets in his face.
Sheamus nails Edge with the microphone and then clotheslines him down. Edge pulls himself up, and avoids the pumpkick; Edge takes Sheamus
down and pummels him. Edge spears Sheamus down hard and then stands over the fallen champion. That was a hell of a way to start RAW this
week, very cool! Let’s hope the rest of the show can be as good. We now get a promo for the Elimination Chamber PPV, and even hear Joey
Styles and Jim Ross’ voices! Six men go in and only one gets to survive, as we know see John Cena walking backstage as Jerry Lawler
says we will have all the qualifying matches tonight!

1. John Cena v. Cody Rhodes. Cody starts out quick on Cena, with kicks and punches and rams Cena in the corner. Cena starts to fight back,
but Cody with a quick side Russian legsweep, and continues to punch Cena in the head. Cody with a nice spinning neck breaker, and follows
with a kneedrop to the head and gets a near fall. Cody goes for another knee, but Cena moves and comes back with a pair of
shoulderblocks. Cena goes for the Suplex, but Cody slides out and rolls Cena up, but Cena kicks out and nails the belly to back Suplex.
Cena follows up with the fist drop, and quickly goes for the FU, but Cody blocks and nails a front layout Suplex, ala One Man Gang for a
near fall. Rhodes climbs the ropes and hits a nice moonsault, as Lawler calls him Orton, Cena caught running in the corner, but catches
Cody in the FU for the win. 2/5 all the points go to Cody as he dominated the match, but of course Cena gets one move and wins. People
wonder why so many fans hate Cena, this is the reason. He gets pummeled the whole match, nails one move and wins. What a load of
crap, as Cody should’ve got his opportunity to headline. Cena’s been on top long enough, and needs to step away for awhile.

We now get to see the original Montreal Screwjob, and from there Vince walking the hallways, as Josh asks if Vince saw Bret tonight. Vince says he has not, and doubts Bret will even show up, as enters his dressing room. Vince turns around, and starts to yell at someone in the room; it’s
not going to be Bret of course. I was right, it’s William Shatner, Shatner says as a fellow Canadian and a human being he can’t wait to
see Bret Hart embarrass Vince tonight.

2. Jack Swagger v. Triple H. Seriously can they make these outcomes more obvious? So tonight’s theme is bury the young and push the same
old shit, I get it now. This is going another quick squash of course, as I assume Shawn, Orton and maybe DiBiase get the other three spots,
unless I forgot someone. Michael Cole immediately starts to kiss Triple H’s ass as he says Triple H is the reason all these people are
there. Swagger with a quick go behind, takes HHH down and rides around the ring, but HHH grabs the ropes. Swagger does his vintage pushups,
and gets in HHH’s face. HHH with a pair of uppercuts, then the high knee and clotheslines Swagger over the top as we go to commercial. We
come back and Swagger gets caught running in, but avoids the clothesline and nails DDT, as Swagger gets a near fall. Swagger drops
a pair of elbows, then a legdrop. Swagger gives Triple H a wedgie and locks in the abdominal stretch, but Triple H counters out and tosses
Swagger out again. Triple H follows, but Swagger rams HHH into the ring, and both men back in. Swagger with a nice powerslam on the Game,
as the ref counts slowly and HHH kicks out. Swagger with a rear chinlock, and Triple H powers out of it, but Swagger pops the Game and
knocks him down. Swagger goes for the bouncy elbow, but Triple H gets the knees up and both men are down. Triple H unloads on Swagger and
nails the facebuster for a near fall. Can’t have a pin until we see the Pedigree, it’s an unwritten rule, as Triple H nails the spinebuster for two. Triple H goes for the Pedigree, but Swagger backdrops the Game down, and nails the Vader Splash and should’ve won there, but of course Triple H kicks out. Swagger with a nice belly to belly for a near fall. Swagger drives a shoulder into the Game and pulls him out of the corner. Triple H just casually nails a Pedigree and wins. 2/5 once again all credit goes to Swagger who carried Triple H the whole match. Like I said these matches are so easy to see who’s going to win. What next Shawn v. Chavo? Orton v. Primo? Seriously, these are so obvious it’s killing the show.

Well, OK, Shawn v. Orton, that might save the show, as we now get a video for Shatner. Shatner is singing the entrance themes, this is good. He’s doing Shawn’s theme, and now Cena’s, this may be the highlight of the night. Shatner’s now singing Rey’s theme, that’s the closest I’ve come to
understanding it. Now he’s doing the Game’s music, now that’s a CD they should release. We now see Shawn in the back all sad and puppy
dog faced, as Hunter comes in along with Hornswoggle, damn I thought he was gone. HHH asks Shawn about last night when Shawn eliminated
him, and says he would’ve never done that, and then he laughs and says he would if he had the chance. Shawn says it wasn’t supposed to happen
that way, he was supposed to win and end the streak, and HHH says he’s obsessed and went crazy last night. HHH says Shawn needs to get in the
chamber, and they will dominate and one will walk out champ. HHH says he wants to go to Wrestlemania and face Shawn for the belt, but Shawn
needs to beat Orton. Shawn just walks out of the dressing room.

3. Randy Orton v. Shawn Michaels. They quickly lock up, and Orton overpowers Shawn into the corner. The ref pulls Orton back, as he
stares at Shawn, who quickly locks up with Orton. Orton gets Shawn in the corner, and pulls Orton out again, but Orton gets right in Shawn’s
face and swings at him, but Shawn moves and whips Orton in but reversed. Shawn comes back with a neckbreaker and stomps Orton, Shawn
goes for the kick, and Orton bails out. Shawn follows, and Orton quickly back in and catches Shawn. Orton goes for the DDT but Shawn
slides out and pulls Orton out. Orton back in and Shawn off the top with a crossbody for a near fall, he then whips Orton in the corner, but reversed and Shawn goes head over heels. Orton nails the backbreaker on Shawn, and then stomps the midsection of HBK. Shawn
slowly gets up, and Orton knocks him down, then Shawn gets back up and Orton with a dropkick for a near fall. Orton hammers Shawn in the
chest, and goes to a chinlock on Shawn, who struggles to get free. Shawn punches his way out, but Orton nails a knee to Shawn and sets
him on the top rope. Orton goes for a superplex, but Shawn counters and knocks Orton off the ropes, but Orton punches Shawn and right back
up. Shawn continues to fights Orton off, and knocks him down. Shawn follows with the elbow drop on Orton, and readies for Sweet Chin
Music. Shawn misses the kick, and Orton goes for RKO, countered into two inverted atomic drops. Orton whips Shawn in, and Shawn comes back
with the flying forearm, and goes for the nip up, but Orton catches him and rolls Shawn up for the surprise win. 3/5 not a good match, but
better then the first two matches. I like when the win comes out of nowhere, not every match needs to end with a big finishing move. In the ring Shawn is breaking down again, as the ref was smart enough to run. Shawn rips off the D-X wristbands, and leaves the ring, storming down the aisle. Backstage Randy Orton runs into Ted DiBiase, who congratulates him on the win and apologizes for last night. Orton gets right in his face and walks away without saying a word.

4. Mark Henry v. Ted DiBiase. This should be interesting, as they quickly lock up and Henry powers down Ted. Ted with a side headlock,
and Henry shoves him in and runs over Ted, then clotheslines him to the floor. Henry follows and Ted grabs Mark’s arm and slams it into
the post twice, but Henry back with a headbutt. Ted with a drop toe hold rams Henry into the steps and continues to work over the arm of
Henry as both men are back in. Mark whips Ted in, and runs him over then a headbutt. Henry caught coming in the corner and Ted climbs the
ropes. Henry catches Ted diving down, but Ted slides out of the ring. Ted goes for Dream Street, but Henry powers out and misses another
corner charge. Ted with a hammerlock drop for a win! 2.5/5 an ok match and the right guy won as Ted is in the Chamber! Another match that
ended suddenly, which is nice to see. So far in is Sheamus, HHH, Cena, Orton & Ted, so with one slot left, who will it be? I’d think either Big Show or Kofi, as we suddenly get the split screen showing those two.

Michael Cole reports on the passing of Jack Brisco, as we get the graphic for Brisco and a career retrospective. That was classy and nice to see, he was a great wrestler in his time.

We now go backstage to Kelly and Gail, as Maryse walks in and says she’s looking forward to the match tonight. Maryse says Michelle’s crap is embarrassing and she doesn’t want to do that, and just wants a good match. Maryse says something in French to Gail, who should’ve understood a little of it, considering she’s from Toronto. We get stuck learning French, she should understand some of that.

Anyways back to Miz and Big Show who are talking about Show winning the Chamber, as they wait for TJ Hooker to arrive. Show asks if he called him that, and Miz asks should I call him Captain Kirk. The door opens and instead of Shatner, it’s CM Punk, Luke Gallows and Serena. Miz asks what they want, and Punk say they were robbed of their title shot against DX and says they want they deserve. Miz says they’re not on the show anyways, as Shatner walks in and asks what the problem is. Punk says we deserve the shot and to give it to us, Miz says they don’t belong on RAW and they want the shot, Shatner says that’s a dilemma and Show asks what will you do about it. Shatner climbs on the chair and says next week, Straight Edge Society v. Big Show and Miz v. D-X for the tag titles. Shatner then gets a cheap plug in, as everyone leaves. Over to Triple H and Shawn, as Triple H tells Shawn to get over it and move on as he says Shawn is spiraling down. Shawn won’t look at HHH, as he says Shawn is Mr. Wrestlemania and he can face anyone at Wrestlemania. Shawn finally looks up and says not for me and walks out.

5. Big Show v. Kofi Kingston. I’m assuming that Kofi wins this one, and maybe will actually get in the Chamber this time. Michael Cole mentions Kofi getting ambushed, but doesn’t mention it was Edge that did it, nice revisionist history. Kofi uses his speed to avoid Show,
but no dice, as Show hammers Kofi and headbutts him down, as Miz joins Lawler and Cole at ringside. Show continues to pummel Kofi who tries
to fight his way back, but Show just tosses Kingston, as Miz says they will run RAW. Show misses a run at Kofi and crotches the ropes, and
Kofi kicks Show to the floor as we go to commercial. We come back and Show is back on Kingston. I’d like to see a match between Jericho and
Miz still, as they fight for custody of Big Show. Just saying is all. Show with a rear chinlock, and Kofi fights out with a jawbreaker, but
Show headbutts Kofi and sends him out. Miz gets up and stands over Kingston, and MVP comes out of the crowd and takes it to Miz. MVP
chases Miz out of the ringside area, as Show goes back after Kingston and lifts him to the apron. Kofi stuns Show and climbs the ropes, but
falls off!!! Kingston pulls himself up and hits a dropkick, and then a second one, a third takes the knees out and a fourth to the head of
Show. Kofi nails the Boom Drop for a near fall. Show in the corner, and Kofi dives into the corner, but Show catches him by the throat. Kofi gets a thumb in the eye of Show, who swings and Kofi ducks and down goes the ref. Show tosses Kingston to the floor and checks on the ref, who King declares dead. Show waves to the back for another ref, as he pleads his case, and the bell rings. 1.5/5 not a good match at all, best part was Kofi falling off the top. Kofi wins by DQ, as Show keeps apologizing to the ref, as he says it was an accident. Show has a good point, as he was blinded by Kingston, as they load the ref on a stretcher and Show kicks the steps. So next week’s guest host is some NASCAR driver, yippee. Who cares, seriously? Hopefully Straight Edge Society wins the tag titles.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring, and he introduces the guest host of Monday Night RAW. Not bad twenty minutes left of the show as Shatner
comes out to the ring, with the Bella Twins of course. Shatner says he has had a lot of fun, and has the honor of introducing Bret “The Hitman” Hart. Bret comes out and shakes William’s hand, as he leaves, and Bret says he’s had a month to think about what happened. Bret says he came here for the right reasons, and it took him twelve years to make peace, and people told him he was crazy and people warned him about Vince. Bret says he was naïve to trust Vince, and he admits he was wrong, but he didn’t come tonight to make peace or closure, he came to talk to Vince face to face. Bret tells Vince to get his ass down there now, or he’s bringing a camera crew back there now. Vince finally comes out, dancing to his music, as he pretends to not notice Bret; Vince does his vintage pickle in the ass walk to the ring. Vince gets in the ring and says he has things to get off his chest, but first says he doesn’t regret anything he said or did to Bret. Bret congratulates Vince as that’s the first honest thing he has said to Bret, and tells him he’s the greatest liar ever. Bret says Vince couldn’t lace up his father’s jockstrap, as he says Cena called him pathetic, and Bret says he knows pathetic. Bret says eight years ago he had a stroke and was in a wheelchair, but found the courage to pull himself up and got out of the wheelchair. Bret says he vowed to never feel pathetic again, but then he came to RAW for the right reasons, and Bret kicked him and left him in the ring feeling pathetic and has a problem with that. Bret continues by saying he worked for fourteen years for Vince, and says he believed one day Vince would appreciate it, but now he knows Vince doesn’t. Bret mentions how Vince described him as chewing gum that lost flavor, but he can kick Vince’s ass here and now. Vince starts mocking Bret Hart’s nicknames, as he calls the best there is one a crock. Vince says he has one other nickname, a Canadian Hero, which makes Vince retch and says Bret’s not a hero. Vince says Bret’s not a hero to anyone, and doesn’t understand what people see in Bret. Vince calls Bret pathetic and has zero personality and if wasn’t for his opponents Bret would be a footnote in the middle of the card. Vince says Bret has no charisma, no command over the English language, a hound dog face, stringy hair and dresses like a hobo. Bret asks if he is finished, and Vince continues by saying Bret deserved to be screwed and mention about nominating Stu Hart for the Hall of Fame. Vince says that won’t happen because he doesn’t deserve it. Bret finally kicks Vince and starts to pummel Vince in the head, then goes for the sharpshooter. Suddenly out of nowhere comes Batista who kicks Bret and starts to hammer the Hitman, as Vince gets back up. The crowd is screaming for Cena, as Batista holds Bret up for Vince who slaps Bret in the face and then spits on Bret.

Match Recap:
1. John Cena beat Cody Rhodes 2/5
2. Triple H crushed Jack Swagger 2/5
3. Randy Orton beat Shawn Michaels 3/5
4. Ted DiBiase beat Mark Henry 2.5/5
5. Kofi Kingston beat Big Show by DQ 1.5/5

That was something. The matches basically sucked badly this week, but the Edge promo and the Bret/Vince stuff were good. So the match at the PPV will be Sheamus v. John Cena v. Triple H v. Randy Orton v. Ted DiBiase v. Kofi Kingston. That doesn’t impress me very much, as I can see HHH walking out with the title. How much better would it have been if it was Sheamus v. Jack Swagger v. Miz v. Kofi Kingston v. Ted DiBiase v. Cody Rhodes? That would’ve given all the young guys a great main event, and a much better more competitive show. Those first two matches the outcomes were so obvious. One more thing, what the hell happened to Gail v. Maryse? We had a backstage thing and then they were never mentioned again? Way to treat this tournament like an afterthought. After such a good PPV, tonight was a major letdown. I think they need to get rid of the PPV between the Rumble and Wrestlemania; it kills the momentum of Wrestlemania.

Royal Rumble 2010 – January 31, 2010

It’s hard to believe it’s been 22 years since the original Royal Rumble, which was from Hamilton, Ontario and aired on the USA Network not PPV. The Royal Rumble has always been my favorite PPV of the year, even over Wrestlemania, as anything can happen and we usual get some really good moments. Past winners of the Royal Rumble have included Big John Studd, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Chris Benoit, Shawn Michaels, Hulk Hogan and many more. The Royal Rumble used to be anyone can win match, but that was changed in 1993 when it became the winner goes to Wrestlemania. This was supposed to make the match more exciting, but personally that kind of ruined it for me. The reason is simple, before anyone could win; now it’s basically a core group of 5 or 6 that have a chance, and everyone else is basically fodder. The Rumble is not without its history though, as we’ve seen some amazing moments including the title win of Ric Flair, the debut of Giant Gonzales, and the returns of both Triple H and John Cena. Tonight at the Royal Rumble we have not only the 30 man classic, but four big title matches. Mickie James, the hottest diva ever, challenges the fire buzzard for the Women’s title. After months of torment from the buzzard and her little friend, tonight Mickie goes for redemption. The big man, Ezekiel Jackson challenges Captain Charisma Christian, for the ECW title. Can the massive Jackson topple the long reigning king of the land of extreme, or will Zeke fall from grace? Sheamus has run roughshod over the entire RAW roster since coming from ECW in October, and scored a huge win over John Cena for the title. Tonight Sheamus faces his toughest challenge, in the viper Randy Orton, in a rare battle between the two most hated men on RAW. Finally Undertaker faces the human mosquito, Rey Mysterio. Will Rey give the Undertaker malaria, or can the Dead Man squash Mysterio? All this tonight, live from Atlanta, GA! Let’s start the 2010 Royal Rumble!

We open the show with a nice video package showing tonight starts the road to Wrestlemania. The video asks who will be the one, is that foreshadowing that number one will one? We get the quick recaps of Randy/Sheamus and Undertaker/Rey. Way to show no respect for the ECW and Women’s title. We see some of the eliminations for last year, as the video asking again who will be the one. Michael Cole welcomes us to the 23rd Royal Rumble, from Atlanta, GA and sends it to Savannah. That’s the match I assumed would be the opener.

1. Christian v. Ezekiel Jackson. I knew this would be the opening match, as neither World title would be an opener and you can’t start with the woman. I assume next is the RAW title, then Women’s, then Smackdown and finally the Rumble. Michael Cole introduces us to the announce team tonight which includes himself (damn), Jerry Lawler (damn again) and Matt Stryker. Well one out of three, but then again who else do they have? All this goes on, while Christian is introduced, and instead of showing the champ we see the announcers. As I said, no respect for ECW whatsoever. Ezekiel Jackson comes out with William Regal; did I say how nice Savannah looks? Just saying is all. The Mad Hatter from Blackpool? OK, that was a different description for Bill Regal. After his accidental nudity a while back, I call him Wee Willie Winkle! Just saying is all. The bell rings and they lock up, and Zeke overpowers Christian, with ease. Cole is going over the stats of Jackson, as they make him sound like Andre. Jackson lunges, and Christian with a go behind, Jackson breaks the grip and slides behind Christian then slams him down hard. Christian slaps Jackson, not a smart move, as Jackson dives for him and Christian slides out. The race is on, and Christian slides back in, and now Christian catches Jackson coming in. Christian nails a baseball slide stunning the big man, than a nice corner dive and follows up sending Jackson back in. Christian off the ropes, and Jackson misses two clotheslines, but Jackson finally catches him and slams Christian. Jackson now unloads on Captain Charisma, as Jackson has slowed the match down, which works for Jackson. Jackson whips Christian in the corner twice, but Christian tries the Killswitch, but Jackson overpowers him, and lift Christian. Christian slides down, and sends Jackson on the ropes, where Christian chokes Jackson. Christian climbs the ropes, and Jackson sweeps his feet out, Christian slides out, and Regal grabs him. The ref catches Regal and ejects him from ringside, well now Jackson can win on his own. Jackson sends Christian headfirst into the stairs, and sends him back in for the cover and gets a near fall. Zeke stomps the champion, and tries to twist his head off now. The crowd solidly behind Christian, but Jackson lifts him with one hand and slams Christian down hard. That looked impressive; this guys a freak of nature. Jackson with a delayed vertical Suplex, and just drives Christian down hard. Christian in the ropes, and Jackson refuses to let up as continues his domination. Christian catches Jackson with a kick, and goes for the sunset flip, but Jackson just lifts and nails Christian with a two handed chokeslam for another near fall. Stryker describes a peep as a yellow marshmallow bird!!! Stryker is the best. Christian finally fires off a few shots on Jackson, but one clothesline to the back of the head takes Christian down again. Zeke with a double arm submission and Christian tries to fight out, as Jackson yells he’s got him. Jackson sets Christian on the top rope, and goes for a superplex, but Christian fights him off and nails a diving forearm, on the big man. Jackson misses a charge in the corner, and Christian with a missile dropkick, as Christian is starting to get some offense, and goes for Killswitch, but Jackson powers out. Jackson goes for a slam, but Christian slides down into a sloppy reverse DDT, and Christian back up top. Christian misses the diving headbutt and Jackson with a huge lariat for a near fall. Jackson is holding his head, wonder if he got hurt from the botched DDT? Jackson readies for the urunage, but Christian fights out and attempts Killswitch, but Jackson counters into a backbreaker for another near fall. Jackson sets Christian in the corner, but misses the charge and Christian nails the spring kick then a tornado DDT for a near fall. Stryker mentions the last time the ECW title changed hands in Atlanta, Vince McMahon won the belt. Yeah, that was a prestigious moment for title belt. Jackson slow to get up, but bulldozes over Christian, for a near fall. Zeke showing signs of frustration, as he picks up Christian, but Christian slides over to Killswitch, countered by Zeke who goes for a belly to back, countered to a sleeper. Zeke just pulls Christian on his shoulder, and slams him into the buckle twice, but on the third try Christian slides down. Christian nails the Killswitch quickly, and rolls the big man over and covers for the surprise win! 3.75/5 a very good match, Zeke continues to amaze, he gets better every week. Very surprised with the win, so where do they go from here? Christian has beaten basically everyone in ECW, so unless the bring someone new, who’s left? And where do they go with big Zeke, I really thought he was going to win and Christian would move to Smackdown. We go backstage to Tiffany and Teddy Long, as Cryme Tyme come in, and say there is two of them and only one can be in the Rumble. Teddy says do what they did last year and flip a coin, Shad says just give us one of the other spots. They said the coerced someone to give up their slot, and in comes Khali. JTG says give up you spot and you can kiss Tiffany, Runjin runs in and interprets, and says Khali says no way. Khali does a great Urkel impression, which was funny. Now we get an American Idol reference, as Miz comes in. Miz says in five year no one will remember what they did, but says no one will forget him winning the Rumble. Teddy says not only will Miz wrestle in the Rumble, but will defend against MVP tonight. We now see Randy Orton in the locker room as Cody comes in, and says he understands what Orton said on RAW. Cody says they knew Randy can beat Sheamus and win the title, and says he will be there for Cody. Randy says thanks, and Cody still standing there, so he asks Cody what’s up. Cody says he can’t say the same for Ted, as Cody says Ted is getting a big head from his movie coming out. Cody stirs the pot by saying Ted talks about winning the Rumble and beating Orton at Wrestlemania, the seeds of Wrestlemania are planted!

2. Miz v. MVP. This was just announced by Teddy Long minutes ago, as Stryker say this isn’t fair and I agree. Although I’m glad we get to see Miz twice, never thought I’d say that. Hated this guy when he debuted, but he’s grown on me. Sadly MVP has gone the opposite way, as I liked him when he debuted, but ever since he turned face he’s gotten as lame and boring as Cena. Maybe one is injured, and needs to be pulled from the Rumble and this is how they explain it? Miz kicks MVP and starts to unload on MVP, but MVP rams Miz in the corner, and MVP uses his speed to avoid Miz. MVP with a quick series of kneelifts, then a nice float over snap Suplex for a quick pin attempt. Miz catches MVP running in, but then gets caught running into a backdrop. Miz tries to bail and almost moons Atlanta, as MVP pulls him back in and nails a belly to back Suplex, and Miz bails. MVP follows and goes after Miz; MVP slams Miz into the ring barricade and tosses him back in the ring. Miz tries to get away, but MVP grabs him, and Miz kicks MVP to the apron then nails him off sending him into the announcer table. Miz quickly follows and stomps MVP, then rams him back first to the ring, before throwing MVP back in. Miz continues to stop MVP, and drops a legdrop, something the Hulkster can’t do anymore! Miz sends MVP to the corner and opens up on him, as the ref pulls him back, Miz rushes in with that cool clothesline he does. Miz climbs the ropes, no good can come from this, but he actually connects with a double ax handle. This has been very good so far, as Miz with a rear chin lock, as Stryker talks about how much this time of year means to him. MVP finally fights back, but Miz with a quick knee and whips MVP in, but Miz gets caught and whipped in. MVP just tosses Miz up and down, then a pair of clotheslines followed by the face breaker. MVP drops the balling elbow on the Miz and readies for the Playmaker. Miz fights off but runs into a Yakuza kick for a near fall, and Miz smartly rolls to the ropes. MVP goes to grab Miz, but gets hung up on the ropes, and Miz runs in but MVP moves and MVP hits the Pounce for a near fall. That reminds me, what the Hell ever happened to Marcus Cor Von? Seriously, he was an awesome athlete, and I really expected big things from him and he dropped off the planet? MVP primed in the corner, as Miz slowly gets up, MVP runs in for the big boot, but Miz moves. Miz quickly goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but MVP with a nice counter into a roll up for a near fall. Miz runs into backslide for another near fall, then a jackknife for another near fall, and Miz jumps out of the ring. MVP quickly tosses Miz in, but gets caught coming in, as Stryker makes a Badstreet USA reference. Miz rolls up MVP and scores the surprise win! 3.75/5 a great match, as both guys just did some great counter moves, and the end was very Honky Tonk Man like, which is cool. After the match Miz gets in the face of MVP, and MVP nails the Playmaker after the fact. The crowd just turned on MVP as they are booing the hell out of him! Surprisingly the King agrees with Stryker about that being poor sportsmanship, as Cole tries to say it was OK. We see Big Show walking the hall and runs into Chris Jericho, as Show says Jericho is jealous of Show saying he and Miz have more chemistry and Miz is a better tag partner. Jericho says he’s not jealous, but feels sorry for Show, as he describes Miz and sounds like he’s describing himself. Jericho says Miz is using him, and Show say just like Jericho did, as Jericho says he made Show into a Giant Destroyer. Show say he was already a Giant, and Jericho says if it comes down to Show, Miz and Jericho, Show will show where his loyalty lies. Show laughs and says if it comes down to the three of them, he will throw them both out. Suddenly someone says if he doesn’t I will, and it’s the Truth, who says he will throw Jericho out of the Rumble. Jericho says he’ll have to go through Show, but Show’s gone, and Truth says Jericho’s going alone. Now we see Orton in a different hall, as he runs into Ted, who says whatever he needs he’s there. Orton asks where Cody is, and Ted says he doesn’t know and stirs the pot himself. Ted says Cody plans to win the Rumble and face Sheamus, and Orton says he doesn’t want either one helping him tonight. We get a promo for RAW, with William Shatner, and the return of Bret Hart tomorrow night!

3. Randy Orton v. Sheamus. Sheamus really needs a clean win to legitimize his title reign, as right now they’ve booked him worse than any champion in history. I’d love to see Sheamus win, and Kofi win the Rumble and make that our main event for Wrestlemania. But the odds of that happening are slim and none, I expect Orton to win the title here tonight. Sheamus poses in front of Orton, and Orton hasn’t blinked since coming out, and the crowd is behind Orton! They lock up, and Orton to a side headlock, whipped in, and they collide and no one moves, but Orton with a dropkick. Orton slides across the ring like a snake, which looked so cool! Another lockup, and in the ropes, as the ref tries to pull them apart. Sheamus pushes Orton back, and Orton with a kick and an uppercut, but Sheamus back with an Irish hammer, then a unique looking arm breaker on the knee! Orton to the floor and Sheamus follows and continues the offense on the floor, then slams the arm into the steps. Nice idea from Sheamus, if you work the arm he can’t do RKO, as Cole says the same thing. Back in the ring, and Sheamus back on the arm now, as Sheamus goes for the shoulderbreaker, Orton slides down and clips the knee of Sheamus. Orton stomps the knee now, as Sheamus tries to roll out, Orton pulls him back in. Someone yells out “Kick him in the head, Orton”, that was good! Orton continues to twist the leg of the champion, as Sheamus tries to kick Orton off him. Sheamus pulls himself up on the ropes, and rams Orton shoulder first to the ringpost, and does it again. As Orton tries to come out, Sheamus drives a shoulder into Orton, as both guys have injured limbs now! Sheamus runs in, and Orton gets the knee up, and goes back to the knee of the Celtic Warrior! Orton slides out and rams the knee into the ring apron, then into the ring post as Orton is relentless. Sheamus falls out of the ring, as Randy slides back in to break the count. Orton goes out to throw Sheamus in, as the Randy chants get louder! Orton stands over Sheamus now, and kicks him in the ribs. Sheamus fights back, and nails a flying hammerlock takedown and goes to a vicious looking armbar. Sheamus yanks the arm, and drives a knee in the head of Orton at the same time, Orton slowly fights his way up, but Sheamus keeps readjusting and keeps the hold on. Orton finally breaks free, and both men are slugging it out, and Orton kicks Sheamus and whips him in, but countered into a vile backbreaker on the viper for a near fall. Sheamus lifts Orton into the Celtic Cross, but Orton fights out and nails the knee and kicks Sheamus in the head sending the Champion to the floor. Sheamus slowly pulls himself up, and Orton springs into the rope assisted DDT, I love that move, as we get a near fall, but Sheamus was able to grab the rope! Randy stands over the Champion now, as Sheamus slowly tries to get up, Orton readies for the punt. Sheamus wisely rolls out, and the crowd boos, as Orton follows and continues the offense, but gets tosses into the ringpost twice! Sheamus tosses Orton in, and suddenly Cody Rhodes jumps Sheamus from behind, as the ref and Sheamus are distracted, Sheamus turns around into the RKO, as the bell rings. 3.75/5 was shaping up to be a great match, but that was a crappy ending. Sheamus title reign is becoming a worse joke then Booker T or Chris Jericho’s. The referee is with the announcer, who says the winner by DQ is Sheamus. Well, that sucked what a cop-out finish that was. Rhodes on the apron apologizing to Orton, who has a vicious look, as Rhodes makes a big mistake coming in the ring. The crowd is chanting RKO, and Orton just pops Cody and yells he screwed everything up, as Ted slides in the ring and pulls Orton off. Orton nails DiBiase as well now, and starts to scream at both of them, and stomps them. Sheamus is up behind Orton, and Orton turns around into the pumpkick! Sheamus grabs his title and leaves the ring, still the paper champion, as Cody and Ted leave the ring, while Orton is still out in the ring. We now get the recap of horseface and Mickie James.

4. Mickie James v. Michelle McCool. Mickie had better win this match, and end this feud, seriously after all the crap Mickie has been put through. Great horseface has the microphone; she has the worst voice ever, worse than Vickie Guerrero even. Horseface claims Mickie is nowhere to be found tonight, as she does her usual lame ass fat jokes. Out comes Layla in the fat suit again; suddenly out comes Mickie who just lays out Layla. I hope she breaks that fire buzzard in two, and hopefully gets rid of that overrated Diva Search failure for good. Mickie goes after Layla, after the bell, and Michelle charges in and nails Layla with a big boot accidentally. Mickie kicks horseface and nails the DDT for the win!!!! DUD didn’t even make a full minute, but I don’t give a damn! Mickie has the title that she deserves, and looks great with it! Mickie nails Layla with a chick kick, knocking her on top of horseface, as we see Maria, Bella Twins, Gail, Kelly, and Eve bring out a cake. Maria hands the cake to Mickie, as the others hold horseface and Layla, and they ram the cake into horseface, that made the whole PPV for me. So happy to see Mickie regain the title, which was great! Hope we never see the fire buzzard again. After the replay we see the girls laughing at horseface, who’s in the ring crying! We now get a promo for the new Elimination Chamber PPV, and then see Rey getting ready for his title shot. This is going to be a bad match.

5. Undertaker v. Rey Mysterio. Rey uses his speed to get Undertaker in the corner, but Undertaker heaves Rey over the top rope with ease. Rey slowly climbs the steps, and comes back in the ring, and catches Undertaker coming at him, but Rey gets caught trying a springboard as Undertaker punches Rey to the floor. Undertaker follows and hammers Rey’s back, and tosses Rey back in then does the boot to the head of Rey. Undertaker goes for the legdrop, but Rey moves, and Undertaker was ready for it and nails it on the second try. Undertaker comes back in, as Rey is in trouble early, Undertaker readies for the chokeslam. Rey counters into a headscissor, and goes for 619, countered to a tombstone, but Rey slides out. Undertaker misses the elbow drop, but catches Rey coming off the ropes with a big boot. Undertaker stalks Rey, who slides out, and Undertaker follows, and hits the big boot on Rey. Rey staggers back up, and eats a third big boot, and Rey slowly gets up, and Undertaker goes for the forth boot, but Rey moves and Undertaker hits the post. Rey baseball slides the knee of Undertaker into the post, Rey dives off the apron for the senton, but Undertaker catches him in a powerbomb position. Rey jumps to the apron and hits an Asai Moonsault on Undertaker, who’s bleeding from the mouth, quick call the doctor. Rey slides into the hand of Undertaker who throws Rey into the barricade hard and Undertaker tosses Rey in the ring, as Lawler mentions the blood of the Undertaker. Undertaker lifts Rey up by the arm and tosses him into the ropes, as Undertaker has blood all over his mouth area now. Rey is in the corner, and Undertaker starts to level him with the punches, then Undertaker whips Rey in and catches him in the sideslam for a near fall. Undertaker lifts up Rey by the mask, and Rey starts to fight back with a series of kicks, but one right hand from Undertaker knocks Rey to the mat. Undertaker picks up Rey, but Rey with a quick headbutt, and catches Undertaker coming in the corner, and nails a reverse DDT on the champion. Undertaker quickly sits up, and Rey nails a low drop kick, then a springboard legdrop for a near fall! Undertaker catches Rey off the ropes with a huge clothesline, and readies for the Last Ride. Rey goes up, but slides down Undertaker and sets up the 619. Rey hits the 619, and then a springboard dropkick, sets up a second 619, then goes for the West Coast Pop. Undertaker catches Rey and nails the Last Ride for the win! 3/5 better than expected, but seriously Rey had no chance in Hell of winning the watch. Still not a bad match and the double 619 was kind of cool to see. We now go to Shawn Michaels backstage, as Kane walks in and says Shawn obsession with Undertaker is unhealthy. Kane says he has faced Undertaker twice at Wrestlemania, and whatever vision Shawn has, in the end there is no light, only the darkness. Kane leaves as HHH comes in, and says that probably wasn’t a pep talk. Triple H wishes Shawn luck, and Shawn apologizes for stepping on HHH’s dream of winning. They shake hands, and Shawn pulls HHH back and says he and Undertaker is meant to be. HHH says he knows it us, and that’s why he knows Shawn will find another way.

6. 30 Man Royal Rumble. Drawing numbers one and two respectively are Dolph Ziggler & Evan Bourne. The both look up at the Wrestlemania banner, and the Rumble is off and running. Dolph gets caught by a Hurricanrana, then a mule kick. Dolph rams Bourne in the corner, and a dropkick almost eliminates Bourne but he holds the ropes. Ziggler whips Bourne in, but he comes back with the double knee. Bourne with another Hurricanrana, and both men almost out. As Bourne pulls himself up, Ziggler nails the Zig Zag and tosses Bourne, but Bourne lands on the apron and hits a big kick. Bourne follows with the Air Bourne as #3 comes out, CM Punk with Serena. Punk takes down Bourne with a series of clotheslines, but misses the kick, and lands near Ziggler. Bourne runs in and Punk moves, Bourne and Ziggler collide heads, Punk tosses both men out, Bourne first then Ziggler. Serena passes the mic to Punk, who starts his sermon, as the timer counts down, bringing out #4 JTG, as Punk says “It’s Clobbering Time”, channeling his inner Thing. JTG starts out quickly on Punk, and gets Punk in the corner, JTG runs at Punk and lands on the ropes. Punk casually lifts JTG up and over for his third elimination, and now back to your previously scheduled sermon, as the clock counts down. #5 comes out, and its The Great Khali, Punk’s a dead man now! Punk gets Khali his hand for the prayer and the hand quickly comes down on Punk’s head. Great Khali locks in the head vice on CM Punk as the timer runs out, and #6 comes out, Beth Phoenix! Seriously, Beth, that’s awesome. Beth charges down the aisle, and gets in the face of Khali, as she’s face to chest with the Giant. Khali scoops up Beth and drops her on the apron and tells her to leave, Beth responds with a kiss, and pulls Khali out!!! She then clotheslines CM Punk now, and lifts him on her shoulders, but he slides down and gets her up. Punk nails her with the GTS, and out comes #7 Zack Ryder, as Punk tosses out Phoenix. Punk has the microphone again, he says Zack has potential to join the Straight Edge, but then nails Ryder with the microphone. Punk with a short arm clothesline and tosses Ryder with ease, as the crowd is behind CM Punk, and we see Beth being helped to the back. Punk is bleeding from his mouth, as he says whose next and he’s better then whoever it is. Well, that’ll just bring out the Game, as number #8 comes out, and I was right it’s the Game. CM Punk says it’s my time now, and indeed it is, as HHH gets in the ring and they get nose to nose. Could do that with HHH still in the aisle, just saying is all. Triple H hits the facebuster on Punk, as Serena screams for the savior. Punk nails the corner knee, but HHH avoids the bulldog and HHH hits a spinebuster as #9, Drew McIntyre comes out. Drew takes his time to come to the ring, as HHH is pounding Punk in the corner. Drew finally comes in, and HHH hits the vintage high knee, but Punk catches HHH in the GTS, but HHH grabs the leg and tosses out CM Punk. Drew nails a back elbow on HHH, as the refs are trying to get Punk to leave. Drew rams HHH in the corner, as #10 comes out and it’s Ted DiBiase, who charges in the ring and eats a big clothesline from the Game. Triple H charges at DiBiase, who catches him in a scoop slam, and now it’s a double team on HHH, as Ted & Drew work over HHH in the corner. I expect #11 to be John Morrison, since Drew’s in there, as DiBiase drops the fist repeatedly on HHH, as #11 comes out, and I was right. JoMo runs to the ring, and goes right at DiBiase, as Morrison hits a nice kick, then sweeps the legs out of Drew and pounds him. Drew whips him in and goes for the side slam, countered into the headscissor takedown, but Ted jumps JoMo from behind. The Game tries to pull himself up, as Ted attempts Dream Street on JoMo, but JoMo counters with a big kick, then nails Starship Pain on Drew, as #12 comes out. HHH nails JoMo, and out comes the Big Red Machine, and he comes in from the top rope and nails HHH with the flying lariat. Kane opens up on all four men in the ring, as Stryker calls Kane, Undertaker’s Baby Brother, that’s just funny. Kane with a double chokeslam on Morrison and Drew, then HHH eats a big boot. Kane lifts up DiBiase, but Drew nails Kane, but Kane comes back with the chokeslam on Drew. #13 comes out, and it’s the other half of Legacy, Cody Rhodes, who saves DiBiase from Kane. Legacy double teams Kane, and now Rhodes nails the Game and Drew, but JoMo catches him. JoMo back dropped to the apron, but springboards back in, unfortunately for John right into Cody’s dropkick. Legacy back on Kane, but The Game goes after Rhodes. Everyone pairs off as #14 comes out, MVP, but he gets attacked in the aisle by Miz. Miz nails MVP with the US title and leaves him lying in the aisle, as the refs come out to stop Miz. Drew and Kane slugging it out, as Cody and HHH going at it. JoMo hits the Flying Chuck on Drew, as Legacy almost have the Game out, we see MVP being helped to the back. Kane levels JoMo and then attacks Legacy, as #15 comes out, Carlito, yeah, good luck Carlito. Carlito dropkicks Triple H, nails Kane, and then back elbows both Legacy members. Drew whips Carlito in the corner where John is, and Carlito monkey flips JoMo out. Carlito nails a high knee on Carlito, then a backstabber for HHH, Drew and DiBiase, as #16 comes out. The Miz runs down the aisle, and nails Carlito with the Skull Crushing Finale then goes for Morrison. Suddenly MVP charges the ring, and clotheslines Miz over the top, but MVP goes with him and both are now out. Legacy almost has HHH out, while Drew is upside down from JoMo, but everyone still safe. HHH tosses Carlito, but he holds the ropes, and Triple stomps him, as the clock runs down again. #17 comes out, and it’s Matt Hardy!! Matt nails a Twist of Fate on Drew, and a Side Effect on Rhodes. Ted whips Matt in, Matt to the second rope, and Kane shoves him out, but the Triple H knocks out Kane, as we have two quick eliminations. Triple H nails everyone with a spinebuster, and stands over everyone. Game goes for Pedigree on Cody, but Drew from behind and now it’s four on one as #18 comes out. It’s Shawn Michaels, and Carlito charges at Shawn, and out comes Carlito. Cody tossed out and DiBiase joins Cody as Shawn turns his attention on Drew now. Shawn nails the flying forearm, and nips up, but JoMo goes for the Flying Chuck, but Shawn ducks and out goes Morrison. We’re down to D-X and Drew, and D-X are pummeling Drew, then they double team Drew over the top, and it’s down to D-X as #19 joins the battle, and it’s Cena. The crowd erupts, as the human pylon comes out, and we have the three main guys on RAW. Cena takes down both members of DX, lifts HHH for the side Suplex, and HHH’s feet nail Shawn, and Cena drops HHH on Shawn. Cena nails a cheesy looking double fistdrop, and then lifts Shawn on his shoulders. Triple H nails Cena, and hits the pedigree, but when he gets up, Shawn nails HHH with Sweet Chin Music eliminating the Game as Shelton Benjamin comes in at #20. Shelton takes it to both Cena and Shawn now, not that Shelton stands a chance. Shelton with a German Suplex on Cena, and follows with Paydirt on Shawn, as Shelton readies to nail Cena. Shelton goes for Paydirt, and Cena counters by tossing out Shelton now, as we’re back down to Cena and Shawn. I hate these quick eliminations, even though it makes it easier to type! #21 comes out, and it’s Yoshi Tatsu, Yoshi nails Cena with a series of kicks, and nails Shawn with a rolling move then a kick. Yoshi goes for the kick on Cena, but Cena avoids and eliminates Tatsu, thanks for coming out Yoshi. No one will stay long with these until we get Show, Jericho or Batista. Both men are down now, and Cena first man up hammers Shawn in the corner as #22 is none other than the Big Show! Show takes both men down with a headbutt, and whips Shawn in, then lifts Shawn and drops him on the apron, as Cena tries to help eliminate Show. Show lifts Shawn up, but Cena holds him up and goes for FU, but Shawn slides off and goes for Sweet Chin Music, but Cena moves and tosses Shawn to the apron. Show nails Cena, and goes for Shawn, but Shawn pulls himself up, so Show tosses Shawn across the ring. Show stands over Shawn and Cena now, as the clock runs down for our next man. #23 is Mark Henry, and we have the World’s Strongest Man and the World’s Largest Athlete in the ring, and they are face to face. Show shoves Mark, and Mark fires back, Mark goes for a slam, but Show slides out and nails Henry to the ground. Cena hits the flying shoulder and Henry with a headbutt, shoulder from Cena and a big slam for Henry. Cena catches Henry on his shoulders, but Henry shifts his weight and lands on Cena. Show with a spear on Henry as #24 comes out, and it’s the Masterpiece. Masters presses Shawn up and drops him. Masters goes for the Masterlock on Show, but Show just lifts Masters over his shoulder to the mat. Henry lifts Show, and both men are wobbling on the ropes, as #25 is R-Truth. R-Truth comes in, and eliminates both Show and Henry by catching them of balance. That was impressive! Truth now works over Cena and hits the ax kick, but Shawn chops Truth. Truth nails the Stroke on Cena, and yells “What’s Up! King says R-Truth could win the Rumble; yeah he has as much chance as Jack Swagger! Just saying is all. Truth has Shawn on the ropes, as #26 joins the battle, and it’s Jack Swagger! Swagger has the best look, as he runs to the ring, and hits the bouncy elbow on Cena and Shawn, then snap Suplexes Cena and one for Shawn too. Swagger picks up Truth and rams him in the corner, as he nails a nice Oklahoma Stampede, shades of the late great Dr. Death Steve Williams! That was a nice little tribute from Swagger! Shawn chops Swagger in the corner, and whips Swagger in, but gets caught with his head down. Swagger clotheslines Shawn to the apron, but Shawn able to get back in, as #27 comes out and it’s Kofi Kingston. Kofi is the man who should win this, as he enters from the top and nails Swagger. Kofi takes down Swagger and hits the Boom Drop, then runs at Swagger, but Swagger lifts up Kofi, but Kofi able to headscissor Swagger out! Shawn goes right at Kofi, but Kofi with a nice dropkick. Kofi catches Truth in the corner, but Truth tosses Kofi over, however Kofi lands on the apron and pulls Truth out with his legs. That looked really cool, actually, as Chris Jericho comes it at #29. Jericho opens up quickly on Shawn, Cena and Kofi, but focuses on Cena. Cena nails the FU on Jericho, nice he just came in and gets hit with Cena’s finisher. Shawn climbs the ropes and drops an elbow on Jericho, and readies for Sweet Chin Music. Kofi cuts off the band with a little Trouble in Paradise knocking Shawn down. Cena catches Kofi and eliminates Kingston, which really pisses me off. I hate Cena, seriously, why does he feel the need to be like D-X and bury people? Number 29 is coming out, and it’s EDGE!!! Holy Shit!! It’s freaking Edge!! This is now the greatest Rumble ever, as Tony Schiavonte would say! So happy to see the Rated R Superstar back, unlike Jericho who’s shocked. This places has erupted, probably the loudest they’ve been all night. Edge spears Jericho, Michaels and then Cena. Edge tosses Jericho with ease now, and then takes down Shawn. Cena catches Edge and goes for the FU, but countered into the Impaler!!! Edge stomps on Cena, as Shawn chops Edge from behind, and Edge lifts Shawn as #30 comes out. Batista runs to the ring and nails Edge with a Spinebuster, then clotheslines Cena and Shawn. Cena gets nailed with a spinebuster, but Batista turns into a spear from Edge, however Edge turns into a FU from Cena and everyone is down. Shawn chops Cena in the ropes, and whips Shawn in; Shawn comes back with the flying forearm. Shawn slams Cena and Batista, then climbs the ropes and drops the elbow on Cena. Shawn with an enziguri on Batista and another diving elbow, this time on Batista. Shawn readies the band, and hits Sweet Chin Music on Cena and Batista. Edge clothesline Shawn, and both men tumble to the apron. Shawn superkicks Edge sending him back in the ring and Batista clobbers Shawn from behind and Shawn has been eliminated. Shawn is having a major meltdown at ringside, as Stryker says everyone wanted to see Undertaker and Shawn at Wrestlemania, not everyone Matt. The ref is trying to get Shawn to leave, and Shawn is about to cry. Shawn refusing to leave tosses the ref into the announce table and slides back in. Another ref is yelling at Shawn to leave, and Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music on the ref now. Shawn drops to the mat in a sitting position, holding his head, as another ref comes in. Shawn is losing his mind quickly here, as he finally leaves ringside, as Batista smirks. Shawn screams as he heads to the back, and we’re down to three, Batista, Edge and John Cena. One of these is not like the other! Edge is the unlikely one in there, as I can see either Batista or Cena win, and face either Undertaker or Sheamus, respectively at Wrestlemania. Batista nails Cena and goes for the Batista Bomb, but Cena backdrops out and lifts up Batista for the FU. Batista slides down and nails Cena into the ropes, Batista charges into Cena, but Cena drops down and Batista tumbles to the floor. This leaves my favorite and least favorite, Edge and Cena, damn. I have a bad feeling about this for Edge. Edge readies to spear Cena, as Edge’s rocking on the ropes. Cena slowly pulls himself up, and Edge charges, but Cena moves and kicks Edge. Cena charges at Edge, and Edge sidesteps Cena and sends Cena out! Edge wins the Royal Rumble!!!!!!!! Holy shit, this just made the entire PPV for me! Ok, I’m marking out like a five year old but who cares! Edge beats all three superegos to win!! 4/5 not the best Rumble, which was 92’s, but the return and win of Edge makes up for it! What a great way to end the PPV! On this day, I see clearly, the great one goes to Wrestlemania!!! Edge soaks in the screams of the crowd as the pyro goes off for the 2010 Royal Rumble winner!

Match Recap

1. Christian pinned Ezekiel Jackson 3.75/5
2. Miz beat MVP 3.75/5
3. Sheamus beat Randy Orton by DQ 3.75/5
4. Mickie James destroyed Michelle “horseface” McCool DUD
5. Undertaker beat Rey Mysterio 3/5
6. EDGE won the Royal Rumble 4/5

A very impressive PPV, as even the worst match was good for its own reasons. I still don’t understand the Zeke/Christian match, as I don’t where they will go from here. Who’s left for Christian to face. Oh crap, I just had a horrible thought. Edge can face any champion, I have a bad feeling he’s going to go for the ECW title and face Christian! The Miz/MVP match was very good, and the Sheamus/Orton match was good till the end. Sheamus needs some clean wins soon, or he’s going to be the most forgotten champion since Stan Stasiak. The Women’s match was short, but I don’t care, as Mickie won and that is all that matters. Hopefully we never see McCool again. The Undertaker/Rey match was ok, but nothing spectacular. The Rumble itself was very good, but the quick eliminations were dumb, as was Beth in the Rumble, but as I said seeing Edge return and win made up for it. All in all a very good show.

Royal Rumble Entrants
1. Dolph Ziggler
2. Evan Bourne
3. CM Punk
4. JTG
5. The Great Khali
6. Beth Phoenix
7. Zack Ryder
8. Triple H
9. Drew McIntyre
10. Ted DiBiase
11. John Morrison
12. Kane
13. Cody Rhodes
14. MVP
15. Carlito
16. Miz
17. Matt Hardy
18. Shawn Michaels
19. John Cena
20. Shelton Benjamin
21. Yoshi Tatsu
22. Big Show
23. Mark Henry
24. Chris Masters
25. R-Truth
26. Jack Swagger
27. Kofi Kingston
28. Chris Jericho
29. EDGE
30. Batista

Royal Rumble Eliminations
1. Evan Bourne by CM Punk
2. Dolph Ziggler by CM Punk
3. JTG by CM Punk
4. Great Khali by Beth Phoenix
5. Beth Phoenix by CM Punk
6. Zack Ryder by CM Punk
7. CM Punk by Triple H
8. Miz by MVP
9. MVP went over with Miz
10. Matt Hardy by Kane
11. Kane by Triple H
12. Carlito by Shawn Michaels
13. Cody Rhodes by Shawn Michaels
14. Ted DiBiase by Shawn Michaels
15. John Morrison by Shawn Michaels
16. Drew McIntyre by D-X
17. Triple H by Shawn Michaels
18. Shelton Benjamin by John Cena
19. Yoshi Tatsu by John Cena
20. Chris Masters by Big Show
21. Mark Henry by R-Truth
22. Big Show by R-Truth
23. Jack Swagger by Kofi Kingston
24. R-Truth by Kofi Kingston
25. Kofi Kingston by John Cena
26. Chris Jericho by Edge
27. Shawn Michaels by Batista
28. Batista by John Cena
29. John Cena by EDGE!!!!!!!

2010 Royal Rumble winner Edge kicked off Monday’s RAW broadcast, with a requisite post-Rumble win promo, in which the Rated R Superstar did a great job of selling the magnitude of his return and surprise victory.  Though he’s being reiterated as good guy, it was a relief to see that he hasn’t watered down his character.  His edginess (so to speak) was very much present, as were his teeth-gnashing intensity and Machiavellian drive.  He even referred to himself as “the ultimate opportunist,” once the reddest badge of his heel persona.

Positioning edge as an “in between” character is a good call by creative.  Immediately before his leg injury and subsequent time off, Edge was one of the most reviled, unrepentantly mean heels in WWE, so a sudden shift to an affable, fan-pandering baby face would simply not be believable.  Moreover, Edge plays such a good heel (winning by any means imaginable, driven by his insecurities…) that it would be a shame to take such a persona completely away from him.

That being said: He did come off as closer to a face than he has in years, and it certainly helped that he had an altercation with the unpopular WWE Champion Sheamus.  Taking exception to Edge’s comment that he would be smarter to face a man who’s never even competed at Wrestlemania than to face another who’s never lost at Wrestlemania, Sheamus came out to confront Edge in the ring.  After talking himself up, he offered Edge the opportunity to walk out of the ring, before the Rated R Superstar incurred the Celtic Warrior’s wrath.  When Edge refused, the champion took him down with a cheap shot.  Down but not out, as Edge got to his feet a moment later and laid Sheamus out with a nice looking spear.  If the crowd was reticent to support him at first, Edge’s taking down the widely detested young champ certainly inspired them to get behind him.

Before things got physical in this segment, Edge said that he would be doing the “smart” thing and waiting to see who came out of the upcoming Elimination Chamber matches as champions, before announcing for which world title he would be challenging at Wrestlemania.  That too is a good call and should make for some interesting segments over the next few weeks.  I expect to see Edge on this Friday’s Smackdown as well, likely confronting the Undertaker.  It would be cool if he showed up on ECW as well to confront his former partner and current ECW champ Christian, but no one would really believe that Edge would use his Royal Rumble victory to garner an ECW title match at Wrestlemania (seeing as how ECW title matches usually fall between a Divas battle royal and a Raven Simone appearance on the WM card).

Elsewhere on the show:    William Shatner didn’t do anything authoritative as host, other than making the triple threat, Unified Tag Team Title match for next week.  His role was strictly comic relief, and in that capacity he was a very likable and entertaining presence.   His spoken word interpretations of Wrestlers’ entrance themes were great (we were glad to hear him tackle “Sexy Boy,” as we hoped he would in our last RAW write-up), and the RAW Match Negotiator segment, which parodied his Priceline commercials was pretty funny as well.  It was during the latter segment that Shatner made the triple threat tag team contest.  The match will see DX defending their championships against CM Punk and Luke Gallows (the Straightedge Society) and the Big Show and the Miz.  If given enough time (20-25 minutes would be ideal), these six wrestlers could turn out a free-TV masterwork.

DX is likely to lose their championships, probably due to HBK’s being distracted by his burgeoning obsession with the Undertaker.  Our money is on the Straightedge Society to take advantage of a sidetracked Michaels and win the titles.

(Side note:  A very interesting way to end this match would be for the gong of the Undertaker’s music to sound, instantly disconcerting Michaels and giving Punk an opportunity to hit a GTS for the win.  Then it could later be revealed that Punk himself arranged for Taker’s theme to start playing, thus strategically exploiting Michaels’s “Dead Man” fixation.  Such a move would add more prestige to Punk’s heel mastermind persona and possibly set up a Michaels/Punk match for the Elimination Chamber ppv.)

Speaking of the Elimination Chamber, the qualifying matches for the unorthodox world title bout went down rather predictably.  John Cena defeated Cody Rhodes handily to earn his spot, although Rhodes did look impressive when he nailed a textbook moonsalt on Cena.  Later Triple H disposed of Jack Swagger to qualify.  Then Randy Orton defeated Michaels for the third spot.  The ending to this match was well done.  When Michaels flipped up from a splayed-out position on the mat (in the manner he’s done a thousand times) Orton slid under him and rolled him up with a school boy for the pin.  The spot both illustrated how the Undertaker has Michaels off his game and served Orton’s persona as a slippery, unpredictable heel.

The last two spots in RAW’s Elimination Chamber match went to less established wrestlers.  Ted Dibiase went over Mark Henry for his place in the match, and Kofi Kingston defeated the Big Show for his.  The ending of the Kingston/Big Show match was very poorly booked.  Show threw a big right hand, which missed Kingston and hit the referee.  He then threw Kingston out of the ring and went to check on the official, going so far as to signal for help, once he’d discerned that the ref was unconscious.  A second referee came to the ring and promptly disqualified Show, who then walked dejected up the entrance ramp, contending over and over that he didn’t intend to harm the official.  The ending buried Kingston almost as much as a loss would have.  He came out of the match looking undeserving of the win and of his spot in the EC match.  Moreover, Show (who was supposed to be the heel n the contest) came out looking sympathetic, like the victory was stolen from him by ill circumstance.  The ending plus the fact that Kingston double-botched a missile dropkick in the middle of the bout further undid the progress Kingston has made since the summer.

A second confrontation between Bret Hart and Vince McMahon was the emotional centerpiece of the show.  Bret Hart garnered a lot of sympathy, coming off more hurt by than vengeful of McMahon’s cheap shot-ing him a month ago.  He also conveyed his lingering hurt at the years of disrespect and neglect he’d suffered at the boss’s hands.  One memorable line he delivered went: “It took me twenty years to build up a reputation, and it took you three minutes to tear it all down.”

McMahon responded by venomously contending that Hart always lacked personality as a performer and owed all of his success to the strong, compelling characters with whom he competed (he cited Michaels, Mr. Perfect, and  Steve Austin as specific examples).  The chairman’s diatribe came across a little “shooty.”  It has been widely recognized that Bret Hart was never one of the larger than life personalities that have thrived in WWE’s upper echelon; he was never as extroverted as Hogan or Savage or Michaels.  I’m sure that McMahon, however, (like those of us who have been Hitman fans since the late 1980s) realizes that it was precisely Hart’s relative introversion that made him stand out as a champion, that infused the work he did in the ring and on the mic with a sense of legitimacy rare to the circus of pro wrestling, and that made him such a relatable character for millions of geeky young marks.

Hart withstood McMahon’s derision, finally snapping only when McMahon retracted his promise to induct the Hitman’s father Stu into the WWE Hall of Fame, claiming that “he doesn’t deserve it.”  With that Hart began pummeling the chairman and then got a sizable pop when he signaled the Sharpshooter.  Before he could apply the move, however, Batista hit the ring and laid him out.  The Animal then held Hart cruciform and wide open for McMahon to taunt, slap, and spit in his face.  The ending garnered tremendous heat for McMahon and provoked a seemingly unanimous “Cena” chant from the audience.

(Note: I’ve read a few live audience accounts that claim Cena did respond to the chant by running out to the Hitman’s aid, after the show went off the air, and that he did so to a huge ovation.  WWE should have included Cena’s rescue in the broadcast.  It would have been good for viewers to see Cena so over with the crowd and it would have contributed to the build up for the Cena/Batista match rumored to be a WM 26 main event [we’re still holding out hope for a Cena/Undertaker match, though prospects for one grow dimmer with each passing week].)

On the Official Lateral Press Ratings Scale, this episode of RAW gets:

Three and ½ Stars (out of Five)

Ask any WWE fan what their favourite time of year is and they’ll likely answer right now. This period, starting with The Royal Rumble and ending in Wrestlemania, generally known as The Road to Wrestlemania, has for some years now been associated with a general rise in the quality of WWE programming. For creative and backstage personnel, this is the time to step up one’s work since the success (or lack thereof) of Wrestlemania is the key barometer by which the overall success of WWE will be measured. For wrestlers and other on-screen talent, this is also the time to step it up, in order to ensure an appearance at Wrestlemania, and the prestige, not to mention additional payday, that goes with it. In short, this is the time of year in which everyone in WWE is, or should be, giving everything their very best.

Judging by this year’s Royal Rumble, the 23^rd since Pat Patterson had what was quite possibly the greatest single match idea in the history of wrestling, this year will be no exception. Sunday’s pay per view was undoubtedly the best thing that WWE have put on for some time, and bodes very well for the future. The show opened with a good match between Christian and his challenger, Ezekiel Jackson, for the ECW Championship. The match sensibly played to the strengths of both men, the power and size of Jackson being contrasted with the veteran guile of Christian. It was nice to see that, even given the lowly position of ECW in the WWE priority list, the match was given a reasonable length of time. The only problem with it is that Christian has become such a dominant champion. It’s hard to see where we go next for him, which in turn, makes one question whether or not the ECW Championship will be featured at Wrestlemania. A strong feud is required to get the brand on the biggest show of the year, and currently it’s difficult to see where that is coming from. Certainly, Christian can give Jackson a rematch – the victory was hardly so dominant as to deny the big man that. Unless something happens to lift Jackson to another level, however, it’s hard to imagine that contest taking place on pay per view at all, much less on the grandest stage of them all.

Elsewhere in the WWE Universe, there are people with clearer futures. Next up, after some backstage “comedy” shenanigans, was an impromptu match between MVP and The Miz, for the United States Championship. One of the great success stories of 2009, it is nice to see that The Miz has not yet started to rest on his laurels. One just senses that he knows how close he is to achieving real success, and he is not going to let up until he gets there. This feud is also invigorating MVP, as well. Porter, once tipped to be a future top guy, has seemingly floundered for some time, particularly since moving to Raw. Going after the US Championship has helped restore his profile, which is no bad thing. This sort of feud is exactly what secondary championships are made for, in my opinion. One only has to look back at The Rock versus Triple H in 1998 or Kurt Angle, Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit in 2000 to see that these kinds of mid-card feuds can enhance the profiles of all concerned.

The match itself was entertaining without being a classic. There was good back and forth, and either man could believably have won. The booing from the crowd came after the match. The Miz won with a sneaky roll-up, and then began taunting MVP, who promptly nailed him with the Playmaker. Most of the crowd seemed to regard this as sour grapes, which also indicates the rising popularity of The Miz. One can’t help but remember that MVP was far more successful as an arrogant heel than he has been lately, so maybe this would be a good feud to accomplish a double-turn, when the time is right.

Staying with the Raw brand, we moved from the US Championship to the WWE Championship, with a rare heel-heel match, Randy Orton versus Sheamus. Before the match, both members of Legacy separately found Randy to assure him of their loyalty and support, while casting doubts on that of their team-mate. Understandably, Randy grew tired of this and told Ted DiBiase that he did not want help from either of them in his match. The match itself was fine, and featured a few nice moments, such as a brawl outside the ring where Sheamus sent Orton into the ring-post and, as Orton staggered back, shoved him straight into the same post again. A very simple manoeuvre, but one that looked effective and made sense. Orton appeared to have the upper hand when Cody blindsided Sheamus in clear view of the referee. Although Orton hit the RKO on the Irishman, the ref called for the bell and Orton was disqualified.

After the match, Orton attacked Cody, to the delight of the crowd, and dealt with Ted in similar fashion when he came out to intercede on his partner’s behalf. A recovered Sheamus then levelled Orton with a bicycle kick and left the ring. Obviously, Orton had the crowd during this match but I had to agree with Jerry Lawler when he remarked that the audience were not as vocal in Orton’s support as he (or I) had expected. To be honest, I have heard Orton garner bigger pops when wrestling faces (and not just John Cena). Orton got more cheers for his post-match attacks than anything in the match. It seems clear now that Randy is turning face again and I do believe that that is what the crowd wants. However, he has built up a very distinctive in-ring style that I believe is more suited to a bad guy. To really go over as one of the good guys, although it would be a mistake to alter too much of his character, Orton needs to adopt a faster pace in the ring.

Next up was the conclusion to the “Piggy James” feud over the Women’s Title on Smackdown. I have enjoyed this feud a lot, more than any women’s feud I can remember for a long time. It’s the same formula as Miz and MVP – take two characters that can’t stand each other and give them a championship to fight over. Works every time. In this case, Women’s Champ Michelle McCool was being challenged by Mickie James, so, she decided to combat this threat by undermining the challenger’s confidence. For the last few weeks, McCool and her friend Layla (LayCool) have subjected James to increasingly nasty and brutal taunts regarding her weight. Many fans have taken offence at this, proving two things. One, that the issue is a good one since it clearly gets under people’s skin and two, that many wrestling fans seem to forget that it is the job of wrestling villains to be hateful, nasty and un-likeable. LayCool managed this very well. In this case, the match was extremely brief, which was not really a bad thing, since this story was not about the match, it was about retribution and vindication. Swiftly winning the championship (her fifth) with a typically brutal looking DDT, James was joined by the other baby-face women of Raw and Smackdown, led by her friend and ally Maria, bearing an enormous cake. As her friends held down LayCool, Mickie smashed the cake in their faces, gaining her final revenge. The two heels sold the humiliation beautifully, so this was a segment that was satisfying.

After that it was back to the business of world championships, specifically The Undertaker’s World Heavyweight Championship. Rey Mysterio, who has really been on fire for the last few months, was challenging the Deadman in a match that I was really looking forward to. The awesome video recap of their feud only heightened my anticipation. The match itself was, far and away, the best match of the night thus far, a classic case of little man with heart taking on dominating big man. Mysterio kept coming, ‘Taker kept swatting him down, Mysterio kept coming back again. The two men worked numerous and inventive counters and reversals and Undertaker did a wonderful job of selling Mysterio’s offensive moves. Finally, ‘Taker nailed the victory with The Last Ride but honestly, Mysterio came out of this defeat looking more credible than he did any of his world title victories a few years back. I would happily watch these two again.

Finally, then, The Royal Rumble Match itself, one of the most hotly anticipated matches of any year. At its worst, this match is always entertaining. This year, it was a long way from its worst. Many people complain nowadays that the prize for the Rumble, a shot at a title at Wrestlemania, makes the match more predictable, guaranteeing that only a handful of entrants have any chance of winning. So what? In any real sporting contest – be it a golf major, a tennis championship or whatever – only a handful of the entrants have a genuine chance of winning. The dream, however, is there for every entrant, however faint it may be. Moreover, the Rumble isn’t just about the winner. Done right, this match can elevate a number of guys, and that is exactly what this year’s Rumble did.

Firstly, we had CM Punk, who dominated the opening stages of this Rumble. Fair enough, Punk lasted only a few minutes and got nowhere near victory. The point was what he was allowed to do with his time. He eliminated five competitors personally and he underlined every aspect of his character by virtue of his little speeches in between waiting for opponents – his cowardice, his arrogance, his dishonesty and his skill. This was Punk’s fourth Rumble but it felt like his first as it was the first time he was in the match as a major star. Further, his elimination at the hands of Triple H, coming hot on the heels of their excellent match on Smackdown last week continues a potential feud that I would love to see played out further.

No one, with the possible exception of Matt Hardy and Zack Ryder, really came out of this match looking weaker than they had going in and almost every entrant was allowed to hit at least one finishing move on somebody, if not score any eliminations. Several guys were allowed to be extremely dominant, if only briefly, including Carlito and Kane. Beth Phoenix popped the crowd big-time when she eliminated the gigantic Great Khali with a kiss, in what has to be one of the greatest bits of booking I have ever seen. Nobody wants to see Khali main-event Wrestlemania but this allowed him to be taken out of the match while in no way diluting his aura as a dominant giant, gave the crowd a good laugh and gave Phoenix a major feather in her cap all in one moment. The feud of MVP and The Miz also continued to heat up. First, Miz regained his status as bad guy by blasting MVP in the back of the head with the US Title belt, before MVP could even get to the ring, then later, a recovered Porter eliminated both himself and Miz from the match with a clothesline, before they continued to fight on the outside. These two characters now really hate each other.

R-Truth did his cause a world of good by simultaneously eliminating both Mark Henry and The Big Show, which comes as a welcome addition to his recent victories over Chris Jericho and proves that he is moving in the right direction. And, of course, there is Shawn Michaels. HBK was both dominant and desperate in his quest to win the Rumble and challenge The Undertaker at Wrestlemania for the second year running. The moment when he eliminated his tag-team partner Triple H with a blindsided Sweet Chin Music underlined both his determination to win and the growing tension between DX. Once again, it also allowed Triple H to be eliminated while in no way detracting from his status as a dominant ass-kicker. When Michaels was himself eliminated by Batista, he played it beautifully, moving from disbelief to frustrated rage very quickly. Re-entering the ring, he super-kicked referee Charles Robinson, who was attempting to persuade him to leave, only to seemingly be overcome with remorse as he realised that he was reacting badly. This story is fascinating, and could go in many directions as yet.

But the ultimate story was, of course, the return of Edge. His shocking return from an injury that, we were told, might even keep him out of ‘Mania itself may have been reminsicient of John Cena’s 2008 victory but so what? Edge’s return shakes everything up and gives a whole host of new possibilities for ‘Mania. I also love the fact that he has opted to postpone his decision as to who he faces until after The Elimination Chamber in three weeks. The tension should only continue to rise. All in all, then, this was a cracking pay per view, with an excellent conclusion. We had both conclusions and beginnings on the show and, as The Road to Wrestlemania stretches out before us, it looks both exciting and unpredictable.

Winner: Christian wins via pinfall over Ezekiel Jackson to retain the ECW title.

Winner: The Miz wins via pinfall over MVP to retain the US Title.

Winner: Sheamus wins due to DQ against Randy Orton to retain the WWE Title.

Winer: Mickie James wins via pinfall over Michelle McCool to become the new WWE Womens Champion.

Winner: The Undertaker wins via pinfall over Rey Mysterio to retain the World Heavyweight title.

Winner: Edge wins the 2010 Royal Rumble after eliminating John Cena.

Edge is back! Edge is back! Can you tell I’m excited about that? According to The Man I nearly burst his eardrum with my shriek when I heard Edge’s theme music, but then he was pretty stoked too. We’re huge Edge fans and have both missed his presence these last few months and are glad to see him back in the ring, though I hope his return is because he’s truly ready and he didn’t rush himself to be back in time for the Road to Wrestlemania which officially kicked off tonight.

Christan b. Ezekial Jackson to retain the ECW title
Decent match, but I expect nothing less from Christian, who seems to be incapable of having a bad match, no matter who the opponent is. It’s one of the many reasons I think Christian is wasted on ECW, he really is one of the best performers in the WWE, and Jackson did a good job matching him. Not the most exciting match I’ve ever seen, but a good opener.

The Miz b. MVP to retain the US title
This was the surprise match of the night and it was ok, though I don’t get why it was a surprise. The Miz and MVP are talented enough that if it was advertised, it just would have built the hype for the Royal Rumble. Definitely a strong match and considering their interaction in the actual rumble, this won’t be the last time we see these two go at it, in fact I’m going to go on the record now and predict a Wrestlemania match for these two. If booked properly, it could be incredible, since there promos and in-ring chemistry up to this point have been phenomenal.

Side note- Does anyone else think the Teddy Long promo is a hint that the guest host concept is about to come to an end? The fact that at PPVs, it’s the Smackdown GM who has final say didn’t seem in Raw’s best interests and I expect that to be addressed in the weeks to come.

Mickie James b. Michelle McCool for the Women’s Championship
Either tomorrow or Tuesday, I’m going to have a whole post commenting about the Piggy James storyline and my issues with it, but for now… Well, I’m not sure this could really be qualified as a match, but given how bad most diva matches are, I consider that a blessing. I’m just glad that the Piggy James storyline seems to have come to an end.

Seamus b. Randy Orton to retain the WWE title
An okay match, though I really thought Orton would win, but for storyline purposes, the ending made more sense. After months of hinting, it seems that The Legacy split is truly amongst us. What I found most compelling about the whole thing is how torn Ted DiBiase appeared when it came down to his mentor and his tag team partner, he did end up siding with Cody and abandoned Orton in the ring after Seamus knocked him out, but from the way he kept glancing back at the ring, you could see he was torn about the decision and that is definitely the right way for the WWE to play it, no question about it.

The Undertaker b. Rey Mysterio to retain the World Heavy-Weight title
This was the weakest match of the night for me, maybe because I don’t really enjoy watching either man wrestle. It wasn’t a bad match, but it wasn’t great either.

The Royal Rumble
Well, Edge is back and he won the Rumble, so all right is in my world and in my opinion it was the perfect end to the Rumble. I enjoyed the Rumble. I liked that CM Punk was accompanied to the ring by Serena, so glad that she joined the Straight-Edge Society full-time because I think she’s super-talented. She’s also really hot, even with the shaved yet. Punk’s preaching between opponents was awesome and he was definitely highlighted through the first half of the rumble. I was surprised to see Triple H eliminated so early, but I wasn’t unhappy about it since I really didn’t want him to win. I like that Shawn Michaels was the one to eliminate him and Michaels’ breakdown after his elimination. Edge eliminating Jericho worked for me too, since it makes sense that Edge would come back gunning for Jericho, who has spent the last several months bad-mouthing him. Beth Phoenix’s entrance in the Royal Rumble was a surprise, since I think the only other woman to ever be in the Rumble was Chyna, but a welcome one. I love Beth Phoenix and I love that she’s a strong, capable wrestler who can hold her own with the men. Carlito seemed to get a nice little bit of exposure in the match, giving off a number of Back-stabbers before his elimination, which is a nice change.

All in all, it was a good match, with most people getting a good amount of exposure, though I’m not happy about Matt Hardy’s super-short exit, since I think he’s the most underused wrestler in the WWE. Still, for the most part the Rumble did a good job at touching at everyone, story line seeds were planted in some cases and moving forward in others, all leading to one place: Phoenix Arizona and Wrestlemania XXVI.

Other notes, The Big Show/Jericho promo was hilarious, I love how they’re playing the end of the bromance and hinting at a The Miz/The Big Show tag team. All the backstage action tonight was great, the Legacy interaction, the Jericho/Show moment, DX laying things on the line, it was all good, compelling storyline, the best we’ve seen from the WWE in a while. Probably since last ‘Mania season. If I was asked to pick the one thing I love best about the Road to Wrestlemania, I’d have to say it’s the fact that the WWE writing takes it up several notches from the drivel they normally give us. The Road to Wrestlemania officially kicked off tonight and I, for one, am pumped!

First let’s describe a rape culture. It’s  a culture in which rape and other sexual violence (usually against women) are common and in which prevalent attitudes, norms, practices, and media condone, normalize, excuse, or encourage sexualized violence.

That’s straight from Wikipedia.

The gender roles we play, the entertainment we enjoy, the drug and alcohol abuse, our religions and the males gods we worship all reinforce the rape culture we live in. We learn so much as children. Boys are taught to be “manly” and powerful while women are to be pretty so they can attract the right men. We watch aggressive sports sports with faceless women on the sidelines dancing. We watch horror movies sexualizing violence every time a man kills a beautiful when she’s full of fear and half naked. We promote parties involving alcohol and participate in them thinking that we’ll have a good time just like in every beer commercial.

My assignment for this blog was to write about something I think that embodies the exact opposite of these characteristics. It could be a piece of art, an idea, a person, or a group of people….. Thought hard….. And I came with this!

Straight Edge refers to a lifestyle and youth movement that started within the hardcore punk subculture whose adherents make a lifetime commitment to refrain from drinking alcohol, using tobacco products, taking any recreational drugs, and promiscuous  sex. Its popular youth movement. The whole idea is a rebellion against popular culture and conformist.

The CRAZY thing is that I actually learned about this from watching pro-wrestling. The WWE has a character named CM Punk who lives out this lifestyle. He’s probably a first because most of the WWE’s popular characters usually promoted beer drinking (Stone Cold Steve Austin), “pie-eating” man whores (The Rock and Shawn Michaels), and the straight up supernatural (The Undertaker). Pro-wrestling have a very dark history with steroids and drug abuse. The basically live like rock stars.

When he’s being a “good guy” he’s telling the kids not to succumb to peer pressure. He tells them they don’t need to drink, smoke, or have casual sex to have fun. He promote discipline, hard work, and responsibility. I think that’s freaking wonderful and refreshing to see!!

But….. this is wrestling, and knowing wresting, the writers of the show twists his message so much that it makes you want to hate him. When he’s being the “bad guy”, he tells the audience that he is better than them because they’re mindless  and lazy drunks, drug addicts, and sluts with no self-respect. Now he goes around converting people. They basically turned his lifestyle into a religion and it comes off as a cult on TV. Watch the promos! He’s telling the truth, but the crowds still boo him! (They make him even look like Jesus! LMAO)

Funny!

NEW WRESTLING RULE:

HHH Cannot Make Anymore Gay Jokes.

When Triple H is with Shawn Michaels, his inner “sassy” comes out (pun intended) and seemingly 85% of his jokes turn into some sort of homosexual reference.

Shakespeare once wrote, “The Helmsley doth protest too much, methinks.”

…or something like that.

Yes, HHH went from dating a giant bodybuilder chick, to a marrying a chubby chick and High School’s “Most Likely to Be a Fag Hag”. Not to mention HHH is waaaay into Men’s Bodybuilding.

”Yo’ Momma” jokes think HHH’s gay jokes are played out.

Hey Hunter, “Yo’ Momma is so stupid, she thinks your gay jokes are funny.” See? Totally played out.

NEW WRESTLING RULE:

The Undertaker Can No Longer Give Fashion Advice.

Late last year former World Champion CM Punk was reported to receive backstage heat when The Undertaker told him to “dress more like a champion”.

Punk allegedly responded that John Cena dresses sloppy too.

Now while the story says Punk got in trouble for his “disrespectful” attitude, and not for what he said. It seems strange that an old guy like The Undertaker, who dresses like one of the “Village People”, is telling a young, hip guy how to dress.

Come to think of it, to be WWF/E World Champion, don’t you have to dress like one of the Village People?

And Finally…

NEW WRESTLING RULE:

TNA Wrestling Must Appreciate Their Fans.

In recent weeks, TNA has started a full assault AGAINST their long time fan base.

For example, at a recent TV taping, a Producer was made to come out and tell the live audience they were “cast members” and to not make so much noise because it was interrupting TNA trying to tell a story.

TNA World Champion, AJ Styles said in an interview The UK Sun,  “It’s hard to gauge who you are as a character in the Impact Zone because you have the same fans coming in who don’t necessarily want to enjoy the show, but be part of the show, and it’s hard to gauge how you’re doing as an entertainer.“

And when a fan called to Bubba the Love Sponge’s radio show saying that “Hogan sucked…and how could he evaluate talent?” Bubba and Eric Bischoff countered by asking what the caller ever accomplished in wrestling to have an opinion like that.

WHAT THE FUCK?!

To be fair to each of these examples, the producer also mentioned “stop cussing” since it’s hard to edit that.

Styles is also referring to wrestlers gauging themselves only locally, and not to the national audience.

And the caller did not make his point very well—that, and Bubba kept interrupting him.

But Jim Cornette has brought up the point that the fans became “Smart” and the wrestlers have become “Marks”.

It’s unheard of that past performers would ever come out and tell the fans, “Hey, stop it! You guys are distracting us!”

WWF, World Class, AWA, NWA, and Mid-South/UWF were nationally televised shows, however, were all regional promotions.

Did Ric Flair ever say, “Man, I wonder what people think about me in Oregon. It’s so hard to gauge myself.”

Did Roddy Piper say, “These MSG fans throwing things at me are trying to make themselves part of the show, they are not enjoying it.”

Yes, I know, wrestlers are thin-skinned and paranoid. But when the fuck did they become such pussies?!

People chanted “bullshit” because some dipshit booked an opening cage match that had one of the worst endings in wrestling history on their biggest show ever!

People chanted, “We want wrestling” because a bunch of pop-bellied old farts were giving a longer filibuster than Senator Strom Thurmond!

And hey Bubba, you dumb, fat fuck, you do not have to run a fucking wrestling promotion to know what sucks.

You do not have be the CEO of an Ice Cream company to say what flavor you like.

You do not have to run a bank to know you should not make high risk loans, make insurance claims on them, and use the insurance as collateral for those same loans.

Bubba also told the fan, he took wrestling “waay too seriously.” Bubba, you do know you were sitting next to a guy who booked himself World Champion a hundred times, right? Who never jobbed for long time rival, Randy Savage? And a guy who has had a skullett and handlebar mustache for over 30 years!

And Bubba, you do know that wrestling is a business that people make lots of money and take that money seriously, right?

And if fans do not take it seriously, they do not watch.

There’s an old saying, “I don’t know much about art, but I know what I like.”

And there’s an another old saying, “Fuck you, Bubba the Love Sponge!”

Have a happy Super Bowl Sunday, and I’ll be back in 2 weeks with more New Wrestling Rules.

There are 3 rumors going around: HHH will face Sheamus at Wrestlemania
Undertaker will face HBK at WM
Randy Orton will face Ted Dibiase at WM.
Royal Rumble participants
John Cena, Batista, Triple H, Chris Jericho, Shawn Michaels, Matt Hardy, CM Punk, Shelton Benjamin, Ted DiBiase, The Great Khali. Cody Rhodes, Yoshi Tatsu, MVP, Chris Masters, The Miz, William Regal, Kofi Kingston, Kane, R-Truth, Mark Henry, Zack Ryder, Jack Swagger, Big Show, Evan Bourne, Carlito
Other 5 is any-one’s guess. Here is mine:
Luke Gallows
Edge
Hart Dynasty or Cryme Tyme
Beth Phoenix

I am going to cut down the 30 to the people that I can imagine headlining a Wrestlemania:
Batista, HHH, HBK, Matt Hardy, CM Punk, Shelton Benjamin, Ted Dibiase, Cody Rhodes, Miz, Kofi Kingston, R Truth, Zack Ryder, Evan Bourne, and Edge.

Take away the jobbers and people who realistically do not have a chance and you have:
Batista, HHH, HBK, CM Punk, Ted Dibiase, Cody Rhodes, Miz, Kofi Kingston, R Truth, and Edge.

And now for the reasons on why the following people wont win:
Batista: Makes a bad heel, (acting wise)
HBK: I would puke if I saw him in another wrestlemania main event
Ted Dibiase & Cody Rhodes: deserve a push but wwe will never give it to them
R Truth: I can’t stand his rap. I couldn’t stand it when he and Road Dogg were partners and I can’t stand it now. It will sell tickets especially if he releases an album around wrestlemania time but like I said, I hate it and if I was on the booking team I would not put him in the main event.
Miz: maybe next year
Edge: He deserves to win a Royal Rumble but he is not confirmed

Leaving:
CM Punk: Would be a nice safe winner who could have a great feud with anyone
Kofi Kingston: What a great way to start a push
However:
HHH: Will win because WWE is dick-less and afraid to push talent.