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It’s true! The “most insidiousness socialist brainwashing program” is in fact brainwashing kids! It openly expresses socialist values (like sharing) and builds up false hopes in children for a bright future. It generalizes the core values of marriage and pokes fun at upstanding institutions like FOX News, which only wants to bring you the truth in an unbiased news media format for the whole family. Don’t let your kids watch it! Sure they’ll learn the alphabet, but they’ll also pick up faciast values in the subliminal messaging of Snuffaluffagus. You’re better off plopping your kids in front of Spongebob where they can learn words like “ding-a-ling” and watch a pastey pink star fish run around naked.

Some one should do something!

I stopped regularly watching the Daily Show not long after the Colbert Report debuted in 2005. I’d been feeling bored by the Daily Show for a while, and Stephen Colbert brought a much-needed sense of absurdity to his spin-off. As a Daily Show loyalist for many years (since Kilborn!), I was surprised that I gave the show up so easily. But I did. Jon Stewart’s increasingly smug takedowns of cable-tv lowlifes like Jim Cramer in recent years sealed the deal for me. I didn’t watch Comedy Central for sanctimony, no matter how deserving the target. By joining in the mudslinging, the Daily Show became part of the same machine that created and fed the likes of Jim Cramer and Bill O’Reilly.

One risk of having two daily news satires that pull material from the zeitgeist is that they’ll repeat bits. Last week was a good example. So riddle me this, who did the bit on the boy who wouldn’t recite the Pledge of Allegiance better? You know my vote – the more concise one.

The Daily Show

The Colbert Report

(Wouldn’t let me embed the videos for some reason.)

I was watching the Colbert Report tonight and started feeling something new – a complete shutdown for the entire fake news format. That’s not a big genre: only three “mainstream” outlets exist – The Colbert Report, its predecessor The Daily Show, and the online/print jugernaut The Onion. When you want social norms broken down quickly and with relative ease these are the places most Americans turn. The thing is, they all work on a system – they measure out an inch of outdated norms and stretch it out to cover a codpiece of reality, showing how little it does to cover the dangling parts of now. It’s an incredible work of art when done right, equal parts flapping and laughing at oneself.

Then Colbert comes in and decides to do tonight’s show. It’s just like any other, nothing brand new, just a logical progression down the fake news outlet road. But I notice he isn’t using quite the same system, and not quite the same fabric as I expected. The object of fake ridicule was a kid, I’m guessing nine or ten years old, who refused to recite the pledge of allegiance at school. This is because the pledge states “liberty and justice” and (looks over to his dad and pauses, looks back) gays don’t get liberty and justice for all. That’s a pretty salient point he has, gay unions aren’t a liberty here and Colbert quips “liberty-and-just-for-us”, pretty drawl.

Before we get down to it, I respect the sentiment stated by the kid. A gay union probably deserves the same tax structure as a straight union if it’s so legally binding and whatnot, enter the lawyers. It even enjoys the same human connection, though not with semi-automatic kids, and so enters a division against analogy. That’s all up for debate, and I’m all for people ranting. But the real story made obvious by this clip is something waaaaay simpler. Colbert just switched the 1 inch of cotton norms with an inch of nylon crazy.

Why is a prepubescent boy railing on the federal government about (look at dad, pause) gay marriage laws? Maybe because he sees the common fabric of love and freedom spread across all humanity being made patchwork by outdated political and religious stamp-patterns? Maybe wants to unify that fabric once again under… the… pokemon action committees and… first kiss laws?

Really, the kid probably understands some of it. But you bet this is a mini-balloon-boy that’s never going to get uncovered. It’s all direction by the parent made obvious by body language aired directly on the show giving it credence. Honestly you can get kids to say anything. One time I watched a kid in junior high pay quarters to any elementary school kid that would call this guy a faggot. True story, kinda funny, but only because the guy wasn’t really a faggot. The point is, when you pass up a joke like that, on a Comedy Network show, on a fake news hour, to deliver your political invective, then please turn in your fucking comedy badge and nerf gun. It’s disingenuous and makes your fake hypocrisy real hypocrisy. I’ll be looking for a new show next week. Any suggestions?

During a recent episode of The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert shaved Woody Harrelson’s head. In honor of the troops, both sang the Star Spangled Banner while Colbert worked the clippers.

Pez Museum, Gay Marriage and more…It’s highlarious

courtesy:

Take it away, Stephen…

Last week AfterElton.com, brother site to my beloved AfterEllen.com, held a poll where people could vote for who they thought was the biggest Asshat of the Week. After being nominated because he vetoed a bill which would allow domestic partners make funeral arrangements RI Gov. Carcieri won by 58%.

And, it’s not just us queers who are pissed at Carcieri, oh no. Stephen Colbert ripped Carieri a new proverbial asshole last night.

If you’re in Providence on Thursday night, come to the State House and attend a vigil and funeral procession in response to Carcierci’s veto.

Linda and Karen were part of a creative project….Giving the original UniRoyal Girl a new look.  This meant re painting this 25 foot large being and changing her look to be more patriotic.  You can view some of the media which followed the painting of Nitro Girl. She is located at Werbany Tire Town on the Black Horse Pike in Glouster Twp. NJ.    They painted a Tis Themselves of themselves enhancing areas to make life a little more interesting…

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/news/16083

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/103011/september-18-2007/difference-makers—nitro-girl

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/tip/7078

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/255239/november-11-2009/grover-the-hill

this is hilarious. 

And try this post for more levity.

Hat tip to The Middle of Nowhere

Miracle Whip vs. Stephen Colbert. Round II

A remarkable story from those adorable guttersnipes at Agency Spy; it’s about one of our clients (Kraft) and a competing agency (McGarry Bowen) so I have to tread carefully.  Some background. Last month, on his popular show, Stephen Colbert teed off about Miracle Whip’s new advertising campaign. In his inimitable style, he took the salad spread to task for trying to be hip and edgy. It’s all here: Colbert & Miracle Whip on Agency Spy

So, Colbert ridicules another advertising campaign. Funny sure. But for him a lay up. Skewering commercials, pop stars and politicians is what he does. Most of his victims invariably take it on the chin, especially national advertisers. What are they supposed to do –fight back? Make a spectacle of them selves? PR 101 suggests clients remain above the fray. Don’t draw any more attention to the matter.

Kudos to Miracle Whip for not listening to this advice… What. So. Ever. According to Agency Spy, the brand took out a full-page newspaper ad today making light of the whole affair. It’s quirky, unexpected and that’s not the half of it. Adhering to their own brand strategy (We are Miracle Whip and we won’t back down), the brand taunts Colbert by stating their intent to run creative (the very creative he made fun of) during every commercial break on his show this evening. “In a sense,” they wrote, “We own you.”

Even if Colbert sarcastically thanks Kraft for throwing all those ad dollars at his show (what I’d do) I still think the proverbial shoe is on the other foot. Miracle Whip making him their bitch is pretty damn radical. Way outside the box wouldn’t you say?

Knowing the people, places and things associated with this story, I think it’s stunning. And brilliant. No matter what Colbert does he’s playing into their hands. More talk. More story. More buzz for Miracle Whip. In other words: social currency. Which, if I’m not mistaken, is what every agency is promising, and only sometimes delivering, for their clients.

And finally, props to Agency Spy for seeing this story for what it is. As of this writing the trades hadn’t.

follow Steff on Twitter

The Happy Soul Industry on Amazon

Seeing an interview with Christopher Caldwell on the Colbert Report got me thinking about Islam and the West. Caldwell notes that one of Europe’s biggest problems is dealing with Muslim immigrants. Naturally, this is a problem that the United States faces as well.

While Caldwell’s case can be criticized, he does raise a rather legitimate concern: the West faces a serious challenge in dealing with Muslim immigrants and how this is handled (or botched) will have a significant impact on the shape of things to come.

While the United States has had various issues with immigration over the years, the United States generally does a very good job of assimilating immigrants into the American mainstream. This is, of course, relative to Europe. Not surprisingly, we have done better in the case of Muslim immigrants as well. One reason, as Caldwell notes, is that while some folks claim that America is going socialist, we still have an employment based economy that tends to attract people looking for work and get rid of people who are unable to do so.  This has at least two important effects. First, this leads to mixing between immigrants and Americans. Second, it means that most immigrants will hold jobs, thus giving them a stake and something to do. In contrast, Europe provides much more in the way of the public dole, thus allowing immigrants to remain who do not mix with the general populace on the job. Perhaps more importantly, unemployment provides a fertile breeding ground for dissatisfaction.

There are of course many other factors that are involved in the United States being able to better assimilate Muslims and these factors should be considered key elements in the war on terror. After all, while most Muslims are not terrorists, many modern terrorists are Muslims. Naturally, terrorist groups that claim to be acting on behalf of Islam will try to recruit Muslims in enemy nations to commit acts of terror and provide support. So far, American Muslims have proven quite resistant to these attempts. However, we should not take this for granted and thus should take steps to make sure that this remains the case.

Assimilating Muslims does not mean making them cease to be Muslims. After all, being a Muslim and being an American are no more at odds than is being Catholic and American or Jewish and American. An assimilated Muslim would be a Muslim who believes that s/he is part of America and is generally favorable towards the ideals, laws and values of America. At the very least, s/he does not regard America or the American people as an enemy of Islam and hence has no inclination to aid those who wish to harm Americans. Obviously, for people to become assimilated, they have to believe that Americans will reciprocate. That is, if a Muslim is expected to be favorable towards (or at least tolerant of) American values and ideals then Americans must at least be tolerant of Islam. This is clearly something that we can do-after all, we have had plenty of practice as a nation (despite some rather nasty bouts of intolerance).

Part of winning the “war on terror” involves denying the enemy aid and support. Perhaps the best way to do this is to make potential enemies into friends and allies-winning through assimilation rather than violence. Our capacity to expand our culture in this manner has been a great part of our success. People come to us and join us, making us stronger. Naturally, we should be on guard against enemies in our midst, but we should not let fear deny us the use of one of our best defenses.

“Sesame Street” has come under fire recently for some segments conservative critics say promote leftist views. The main target? Oscar the Grouch. It seems the surly, trash-can-living muppet is busting out his reporter chops these days and much to the dismay of his audience he’s being all lovey-dovey with his interviewees. At the end of the segment his girlfriend calls to tell him she’s changing the channel, “From now on I am watching ‘Pox’ News. Now there is a trashy news show.” (WATCH THE VIDEO HERE.)

Andrew Breitbart’s Big Hollywood site was not amused. The blogger Stage Right wrote:

“If Mom and Dad watch cable news, it’s better than 50/50 they watch ‘POX News.’ So what gives? PBS — a network partially funded with my tax dollars — has the right to tell my kids that their parents watch ‘trashy’ news? The message is clear, I can’t even sit my kids in front of ‘Sesame Street’ without having to worry about the Left attempting to undermine my authority. And don’t tell me, ‘If you don’t like it change the channel.’ There are no channels left! It’s everywhere. Just last week I had Obama’s service and volunteerism promoted on every single major network, including Disney and Nickelodeon.”

Well last night Stephen Colbert got in on the action, calling the kids show, “America’s most insidious socialist brainwashing program.” He used recent tea party protest memes (calling everybody Hitler and Stalin, comparing reform to the Holocaust) and applied them to the “Sesame Street” debate.

via The Huffington Post Colbert Demolishes “Sesame Street”’s Conservative Critics (VIDEO).

The new Stephen Colbert video challenge is up, and though it’s for no prize, it’s fun to do so I’m doing it. This time the challenge is to debate Stephen Colbert himself. I put on my pink suit, did my hair up fancy, and did my best.

Stephen vs. Happyjoel

I’d totally embed the video but I don’t think I can, so feel free to click it. Here’s a couple fun trivia facts about the video:

1) I bought my first set of lights, so even though the sound totally needs work, I’m really happy with the lighting. You can actually see me unlike many of my other videos filmed previously.

2) I’m not wearing any pants. I do have pants. I even have pink pants that go with my pink suit, but I’m not wearing them.

Awesomeness

I decided to share with you fine readers what my wife and I have been watching on TV this season.

Monday-Thursday:

• The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (Comedy Central)
  Both a news and entertainment source, I especially like how they don’t hesitate to point out the hypocrisy in anybody, red or blue, Fox News or MSNBC.
• The Colbert Report (Comedy Central)
  This is satire in its truest form.  No one and no thing is safe from Colbert.

Monday:

• House (Fox)
  Greg’s brand of sarcasm and wit gets me in the right place.  Only recently have I started caring more about the team than the weird diagnostic cases.
• The Big Bang Theory (CBS)
  This is our favorite show on television, hands down.

Tuesday:

• V (ABC)
  Though this remake just started, we’re pretty sure this show will be entertaining.  I’m worried about how long they can stretch it out, but it should be a fun ride.

Wednesday:

• Glee (Fox)
  This show proves that a musical comedy/drama on network television can not only work, but be clever and insightful.
• Mythbusters (Discovery)
  Educational and entertaining and they blow things up?  Sweet.

Thursday:

• Community (NBC)
  Half goofy comedy, half almost heartwarming.  Not the funniest show, but it has its moments of brilliance.

Friday:

• Stargate Universe (SyFy)
  Can one show fill both our Stargate SG-1 and Battlestar Galactica needs?  Looks like it so far.  Not as fun as SG-1 or as dark as BSG, it seems to run right in the middle of the two, which is great.
• Supernanny (ABC)
  These families make us want to not have children, but Jo teaches us what to do right.
• Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Cartoon Network)
  I’m the only one who watches it, but this show is impressive.  Better than the prequel movies, better than its own movie.  It’s almost real Star Wars.

Weekly:

• Indianapolis Colts Football Games
  I’d wanted to start watching the Colts for the last couple years, but it was only when my wife brought it up that we started watching.  Been an exciting season so far!

Highlights from the latest Colbert headline coverage and guest interviews from the week of November 2nd.

John Corzine was accused of fatism for running the following political ad against Chris Christie:

I thought that the allusion to Chris Christie “throwing his weight around” was harmless enough as a metaphor (akin to Obama’s use of the phrase “lipstick on a pig”); however, upon a second viewing of the ad, it is remarkable how Christie is depicted throwing his weight out of his vehicle in a less than proverbial fashion, and he does come across as the “real balloon boy”.

Chris Christie told Corzine to “at least man up and say that I am fat.” But perhaps it is Christie who should man up and say that he is a self-hating fatty.

This is a complicated issue: it is difficult to use fatness as an identity category because people do in fact go from fat to skinny (see the masterful Unencyclopedia article on Rush Limbaugh – half of the jokes are, alas, outdated due to Limbaugh recent dieting since the CPAC conference)   I imagine this is why ridiculing a person for his weight is so commonplace: hate the deadly sin of gluttony and elbow the sinner’s blubbery side with a patronizing wink and an indulging smile.

With this said, the political persecution of fat people is absolutely and unequivocally unacceptable.

For instance, take Steven Gundry’s blog post, which preaches: don’t tax soda, tax the fat soda drinkers. In religious terms, this is equivalent to “Don’t hate the sin, hate the sinner . . . by any political means necessary”

Amy Farrell, on the Colbert Report, makes the rather obvious point that many fat people are perfectly healthy while many skinny people are very unhealthy.

Furthermore, it should be noted that fat people save the healthcare system money by dying off more quickly than skinny people.

All in all, there is every political and moral reason to not discriminate against fat people. Furthermore, it is NOT the government’s job to either incentivize OR penalize ANY particular body type. The government should merely fund and promote healthy living.

Otherwise, the state’s war on fatness in the fanatical advocacy for a publicly sanctioned ideal body type for all could lead to something worse than the sin of gluttony:

PS: Here is a thoughtful article on the “Fat Pride Community”

NEW (11.09.09): PURRRRFECT KITTENS NEED HOME. EMAIL Richard@TheBPlot.com.

One of the shows I produced at Maury Povich featured people who came across valuable objects in unusual ways. 

A guest on “Found Money” was a gentleman who told an amazing story of going to a Salvation Army in Florida and finding nine dirty fabric panels that turned out to be one of the first real and complete flat maps of the Earth.  It was priceless. 

Nick Prueher and Joe Pickett have taken their pot-of-gold of video clips found at thrift stores around the country and created the Found Footage Festival – a brilliant and original comedy show, founded in 2004, combining the most iconic, hysterical and sometimes cringe-worthy 1980’s video clips with on-the-spot, live commentary. 

I spoke with the award-winning hosts, Nick, formerly of the David Letterman Show and The Colbert Report and Joe of The Onion, in anticipation of their show next Saturday (Nov. 14) at Asbury Lanes. 

TPB:  Every clip in your show is unbelievably great.  What’s the recipe for a fab Found Footage clip?

Nick:  Certainly, the nostalgia factor helps make certain videos great, but more than anything, we’ve found one common thread is that they involve people with a lot of ambition and very little talent.  Luckily for us, there are plenty of people out there like that with access to video equipment.

TBP:  Cartoon Chuck Norris with a lisp; men in wrestling singlets and thongs; Florence Henderson doing some odd neck movements with another girl – were the Reagan 80’s gayer than everyone realized?

Nick:  Yes, the proliferation of mustaches should have been our first clue.

TBP:  You guys are celebrating the show’s five-year anniversary.   What are each of your favorite all-time clips?

Nick:  It changes from time-to-time, but I’d have to say “Kirk’s 40th Birthday” is up there for me. It’s a home movie of a guy named Kirk and his biker friends celebrating his big day by eating a cake in the shape of naked woman, smoking an odd cigarette and watching ZZ Top videos.  

Joe:  I’m really enamored right now with an Austin (Texas) public access show called “At Home with English,” starring this adorable little man teaching English words to non-English speakers – it’s featured in our show.

TBP:  You are premiering a brand new crop of clips at Asbury Lanes.

NP: Yes – expect overacting pirates, furniture salesman, blowgun enthusiasts, an anthropomorphic Rubik’s Cube, drunk guys without shirts and dozens of bachelors in bad sweaters (video dating)…and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

TBP:  You guys have been friends since childhood.  I have to ask, if you were boyfriends who would do the cooking and who would drive the car?

NP: I don’t like driving, so Joe would definitely be behind the wheel.  By default, I would do the cooking, although I’m sure Joe would tire of my weird vegan recipes.  Luckily, this nightmare scenario will never happen.

TBP:  Thankfully, there is a ton of beyond funny 1980’s nightmares caught on video, though.  Congrats on the show. 

Web exclusive next Thursday: Nick reveals the best thrift store in America, the most memorable video and more.

Richard@TheBPlot.com

THEBPLOT = AREA’S #1 FEATURES SITE… AND GROWING EACH WEEK

In regard to my last post:

See? It’s on TV; that means it’s true.

Bill Simmons is right on. The country I immigrated from was not really big on any of the three big American sports, but basketball was the first sport that I could get into. Believe me when I tell you how hard I TRIED to like baseball. I’d sit there and it would just bore me. (So did football until I played Madden and started understanding the rules.)

I think the vast majority of fans of baseball are guys who remember watching and playing the sport with their dads and the sport has sentimental value to them.

For those that say basketball popularity is in decline, you’re wrong. The sport’s popularity is rising across the world, in Asia and Europe especially. If you don’t believe me look how good the foreign teams are in the Olympics. Meanwhile baseball was removed from the Olympics, while they have BMX, table tennis, and badminton.