Razvan Zainescu este un tanar de 32 de ani, remarcabil, inteligent, cu un deosebit simt al umorului, cu studii solide, care si-a ales singur drumul avand un viitor promitator.

A absolvit Liceul teoretic “Al.Ion Cuza” si apoi Academia de Studii Economice din Bucuresti. Indata ce a terminat facultatea a plecat , printr-un program AIESEC, sa lucreze la Mastercard in Saint Louis, Missourri. Cu o luna inainte sa i se termine contractul a intervenit decesul prematur al tatalui sau.Razvan s-a intors acasa asumandu-si responsabilitatea de a-si proteja familia si a fost tot timpul alaturi de mama si sora lui.

Viata si-a urmat cursul. Razvan a lucrat pentru Reuters, Oracle si Deloitte si a fost acceptat la MBA (http://www.linkedin.com/pub/razvan-zainescu/1/18b/50a).

Cel mai important moment din viata lui a fost intalnirea cu Raluca, femeia care nu a incetat sa-i lumineze chipul si inima .Razvan si Raluca Zainescu s-au cunoscut acum 5 ani. Din prima clipa s-au placut si au inteles ce inseamna iubirea adevarata: “sa iubesti si sa te lasi iubit”. Anul trecut, pe 20 iunie 2008 s-au casatorit si pe 21 iunie au avut nunta. O nunta minunata asa cum si au dorit: cu multi prieteni si cu cei mai apropiati din familie. Au cumparat un apartament si l-au aranjat dupa gustul lor. Se hotarasera ca in 2009 sa aiba un copil si apoi sa fie parinti cu “doi baieti si o fata”. Visul lui Razvan: “sa fie la casa lui, cu nevasta si copii” se realiza pas cu pas. Vise minunate ca ale oricarei tineri familii! Aveau toata viata inaintea lor si doreau sa o traiasca din plin, frumos si cu multa iubire.

Dar viata i-a rezervat lui Razvan o grea incercare la care nimeni nu se astepta.

In ziua de 28 decembrie 2008, timpul s-a oprit pentru Raluca si Razvan Zainescu. Se aflau la Cluj, la socrii lui Razvan, si se pregateau de Sarbatori. Planuisera sa mearga cu nasii la un restaurant si sa se simta bine intre prieteni. Nenorocirea i-a lovit din senin. In timp ce dormea la pranz, Razvan a fost cuprins de convulsii. In 15 minute a ajuns un echipaj SMURD, iar in clipa in care doctorii au intrat in casa, lui Razvan i s-a oprit respiratia. A fost nevoie de 40 de minute de resuscitare si de sase injectii cu adrenalina in inima pentru a-l readuce la viata, timp in care creierul s-a aflat in hipoxie (slaba oxigenare). Razvan a intrat in coma profunda – coma 3 pe scala Glasgow (scala Glasgow noteaza de la 3 la 15, in care sub 3 nu exista decat moarte clinica iar 15 inseamna starea unui om normal).

La aproape un an de la acea zi nefericita, cauza crizei ramane inca o necunoscuta.

Razvan a fost transportat la Spitalul de Urgenta – terapie intensiva din Cluj. In urma analizelor RMN, Razvan a fost diagnosticat cu Encefalopatie Hipoxo-ischemica, avand leziuni pe creier (ca urmare a hipoxiei) la nucleii bazalici si in cortexul parietal. Sansele pe care le-au dat toti doctorii au fost minime in ceea ce priveste viata si recuperarea lui si au spus ca pana nu iese din starea de coma nu se poate face o estimare realista a afectelor hipoxiei asupra creierului si asupra recuperarii ulterioare.

In data de 16.01.09 Razvan a fost transportat in stare de coma cu elicopter SMURD la Bucuresti, la Spitalul Municipal, sectia de terapie intensiva. Aici s-au primit aceleasi pesimiste sanse.

In data de 19.01.09 Razvan s-a trezit din coma, in sensul ca a deschis ochii si in urma testelor ce i s-au facut e fost reevaluat pe scala 8 Glasgow. Incepand cu weekend-ul 31.01 si pana in 2.02 cand s-a confirmat totul si de catre doctori, Razvan a inceput sa dea alte semne: a miscat capul, a miscat putin o mana si un picior. Aceasta zi a fost ziua in care pentru prima data doctorii (care au facut consiliu pe 2.02) au fost optimisti si au spus ca exista sanse pentru viata lui Razvan.

Tot in data de 2.02 cazul lui a fost acceptat de clinica LMU (Klinikum der Universitat Munchen) unde Razvan va sta in terapie intensiva neurologica si apoi la recuperare. La Clinica Schoen, din Munchen. A fost o sansa extraordinara data lui Razvan date fiind conditiile si posibilitatile de acolo si pe care nu le avem, din pacate, in tara noastra. Aceasta sansa a fost posibila datorita sprijinului financiar acordat de catre Deloitte, firma unde lucreaza Razvan, care a implicat in acest ajutor si alte filiale din Europa de Est si Sediul Central, dar si ajutorului familiei, prietenilor, colegilor de munca si cunoscutilor.

Intr-o perioada de 4 luni, Razvan a evoluat de la starea neurovegetativa la o stare de receptivitate minima.

In Munchen, cazul lui Razvan a trezit simpatie printre doctori si asistentii medicali. Dar mai ales vointa lui Razvan de a lupta mai departe, i-au facut sa respecte pe „romanul“ si familia lui.

Razvan a stat in Munchen pana pe 26 mai si in aceasta perioada nu a fost nici macar o zi singur, Raluca si mama lui, Gabriela, au facut cu schimbul, insotindu-l pe Razvan la terapii, ajutand la ingrijirea lui. Au invatat amandoua din sistemul de ingrijire a bolnavilor din Germania si dupa ce terapeutii terminau timpul acordat lui Razvan, ele continuau exercitiile.

Din pacate, costurile mari de la clinica din Germania au determinat familia sa caute un loc mai accesibil.

Cum a continuat..

Razvan a fost mutat din Munchen cu o salvare, in Polonia pe 26 mai 2009, la clinica din Bydgoszcz, unde este un complex universitar medical, care are si clinici de diferite specialitati si unde unii doctori sunt si cadre didactice, avand si studenti in practica. Pe 28 mai, Razvan a inceput deja tratamentul, iar doctorita lui,Margozata Cikovska ne-a prezentat un studiu: stimularea electrica a nervului median central, aplicat cu rezultate bune de 11 ani in SUA si Japonia, terapie pe care Razvan a inceput-o din 1 iunie.

Din Jurnalul mamei lui Razvan:

O zi la Bydgoszcz inseamna: la ora 7.30 la clinica, unde faci, impreuna cu surorile sau studentele (care vor deveni asistente medicale), toaleta lui Razvan, schimbat, imbracat pt ziua de terapii. La ora 8.00 ii dai sa manance (mananca acum hrana naturala, gatita la bucatatie si pasata, pe care i-o administrezi cu seringa in tubul pe care il are in stomac), apoi tot asa ii introduci doctoriile si apa (apa plata). In total dimineata cam 500 ml. De la 9.00 incep terapiile, pana la 14.00. Razvan face terapii gen solex (lumina rosie), cryoterapie si magnetoterapia. Apoi la 11.30 este kinetoterapia, care dureaza si cate 90 de minute, si este cel mai important lucru pe care il face Razvan. Apoi, in fiecare zi, lucreaza in afara programului, inca o ora cu terapeutul (Waldek) si inca o jumatate de ora cu logopedul (Agata). Razvan face exercitii de intors de pe o parte pe alta, sta in cot, sta intr-un cadru special in picioare. In acest fel, a inceput deja sa miste din mainile, care pana acum erau rigide si in pozitia fetus-ului. Apoi mai exista logopedia (dupa prima sedinta, sambata si duminica, cand eram cu Raluca la Razvan, acesta a vocalizat si duminica scotea sunete de rasuna camera). Mai face terapie cu o doamna psiholog, si permanent acea terapie de stimulare a nervului median central. Intre 13-13.30 este masa de pranz, si medicamantele… iar intre mese (intre toate mesele, pe parcusul intregii zile), in scurtele pauze dintre terapii, ii mai dai sa bea apa amestecata cu sucuri naturale, (cca 1000 ml pe zi), ii dai iaurt, budinca. Cam pe la 16.00 se termina si ultima terapie, daca este extraprogram si apoi masa de seara, medicamantele, plimbarea afara, si somnul.

Razvan este obosit intre terapii si adorme, dar in general, cam pana la 15.00, nu are decat reprize de 20-30 minute de somn. Apoi este fie scos la plimbare in scaun, fie i se face masaj sau faci exercitii de vorbire cu el. Bydgoszcz este o scoala adevarata pentru familiile celor care se afla in situatia de a nu se putea ingriji singuri!!

Reintoarcere acasa si oameni deosebiti

Doamna Lucia Popescu este o fosta asistenta de terapie intensiva, care a iesit la pensie de 2 ani (are 60 de ani,este in putere si tare devotata meseriei), si care locuind singura in Campulung (are baietii in Bucuresti), a ajuns la concluzia ca trebuie sa faca ceva, ca acasa singura, nu are rost. Asa l-a ingrijit pe un “domn profesor”, timp de 1 an (a murit la 95 de ani, cu o saptamana inainte sa venim cu Razvan in tara). Doamna Lucica a vazut in Razvan pe baietii ei (au cam aceeasi varsta) si a acceptat, fara sa stea pe ganduri sa il ingrijesca. Locuieste din 27 iulie la Razvan si Raluca, si suntem tare multumiti de ceea ce face pentru Razvan si pentru noi. Orele de tratament sunt respectate, mesele, indicatiile date de medicii care vin acasa sunt stricte pt dansa, colaboreaza cu terapeutii si este tare grijulie. Cateodata o gasesc plangand ca nu il poate ajuta mai mult pe Razvan…

Starea lui Razvan

Pe 23 iulie 2009 ne-am intors cu Razvan s-a intors in tara si a inceput terapiile. Razvan, din fericire, si-a mentinut tonusul muscular (nu prea se intampla in cazuri ca ale lui) dar Germania si Polonia si-au facut treaba cum se cuvine. De fapt, in Polonia colegul de camera al lui razvan un tanar de 26 de ani, desi era in coma de 6 luni dupa o operatie pe creier, facea kinetoterapie si era verticalizat in fiecare zi “ca fizic sa fie in forma cand se va trezi”. Aici exista o mentalitate diferita fata de cea de la noi cu privire la asceste stari neurovegetative. Razvan acum raspunde activ (este mare lucru sa se comunice permanent cu el in timpul terapiei) si indeplinste intocmai ceea ce i se cere. Este drept ca nu are putere sa duca miscarile pana la sfarsit, dar muschii care trebuie sa faca miscarea se incordeaza, deplaseaza cativa cm singur picioarele in directia care i se cere, ridica 3-4 cm piciorul, mai nou si bazinul, intoarce capul si, mai ales, are multa vointa si mereu raspunde, clipind, ca DA, mai vrea sa continue!

Ca sa intelegeti mai bine starea lui Razvan: este constient, intelege si comunicam cu el prin clipit. Isi misca putin picioarele (cativa cm) si are miscari corect coordonate, voluntare la picioare mai ales, miscari voluntare la nivelul bratelor, si miscari normale ale capului. Nu vorbeste, dar scoate sunete din cand in cand, fie cand este multumit, fie cand il supara ceva. Recunoaste pe cei care vin la el si zambeste cand se bucura si cand se spun glume. Uneori, plange linistit…

Cu ajutorul unei intregi echipe de medici: un internist, doi neurologi, un medic homeopat, un medic pentru acupunctura, teraputi pentru kinetoterapie, masaj, reiki, logoped, starea lui Razvan devine tot mai buna. Sunt oameni minunati, devotati, in care avem incredere deplina pentru ca sunt buni profesionisti si inimosi, dar terapiile si medicamentele costa!!! Cerftificatul de Handicap grav obtinut acum o luna, nu acopera decat medicamente lunare gratuite in limita de 600 ron, insuficienti, fata de cheltuielile cu medicamente, fara a le mai enumera pe celelalte.

De cand a venit acasa, partea administrativa si cea financiara au fost coplesitoare! Incepand din prima zi ca nu exista rampa de intrare la bloc si liftul este neincapator, asa incat, de cand a venit, Razvan nu a iesit din casa pana pe 16 august, cand a fost nevoie de o internare la Institutul de boli infectioase Matei Bals, datorita unei infectii: o endotelita streptococica de cateter recanalizat partial.

In tara lupta continua!

(Din Jurnalul mamei)In sfarsit pe 11 septembrie Razvan a iesit din spital, iar sambata, 12 septembrie, am plecat impreuna la Constanta, la Centrul de medicina hiperbara. Am mers cu o salvare a Centrului si chiar de sambata seara, Razvan a inceput terapia cu oxigen. Vor fi necesare 4-5 serii de cate 20 de sedinte cu ogigen hiperbaric. Sedintele dureaza intre 3-4 ore si primeste oxigen pur la presiune inalta, care il ajuta pe Razvan sa scape de infectiile care au aparut (oxigenul este cel mai mare dusman al acestora), si mai ales sa primesca oxigen si cele mai mici firicele de terminatii nervoase, private de oxigen sau inactive din acesta cauza. Nu stiam ca exista in Romania un astfel de Centru, inaugurat in aprilie 2009 la Constanta, si care este condus de doctorul Ion Bogdan. Aici sunt aduse cazurile grave: starea de coma post accident, intoxicare cu CO2 dar si copii cu elemente autiste, bolnavi de diabet cu rani deschise, cei cu arsuri grave, sportivi, AVC, si multe altele. In occident, in SUA, fiecare spital sau clinica ce se respecta, are un astfel de centru hiperbar, dar la noi, putini stiu ca exista un astfel de centru si in Romania. Ma bucura ca Razvan are aceasta oportunitate si, cautarile Ralucai pe internet, in aflarea unor tratamente care sa-i fie utile, iata ca nu au fost zadarnice. Razvan a terminat acum a 4 a sedinta, si putem spune ca este mai relaxat, mai putin spastic si mereu prezent la ceea ce este in jurul lui si l-am auzit spunand “mama” si “Ralu”… si a inghitit, cu lingurita, 1/2 de cana de apa!! Asta dupa aproape 9 luni!!!

16.09.2009 Din pacate, dupa seara cu primele semne reale ca suntem pe un drum bun,a 4-a sedinta, Razvan a facut de dimineata, temperatura mare – 41 de grade – si am chemat de urgenta salvarea. L-au dus la Spitalul de Urgenta din Constanta, apoi la cel de Boli infectioase, si inapoi la Urgenta, unde au fost gazduiti, pentru cateva ore, la terapie Intensiva. Toata lumea, de la medici la infirmiere, manager de spital au fost deschisi si au inteles ca este vorba de un caz complex si dificil. Din pacate analizele lui Razvan aratau o deteriorare rapida a starii sale, un soc septic. Multumim celor care au inteles situatia si au ajutat sa ajunga Razvan in noaptea de 16 spre 17 septembrie, cu o ambulanta in Bucuresti la sectia de terapie intensiva a Institutului de boli infectioase “Matei Bals”. Analizele sunt ceva mai bune si are un diagnostic de bronhopneumonie fiind infectat cu klebsiela pulmonariae, o bacterie agresiva care, de regula, se ia din spital!!

RAZVAN ACUM

01.10.2009In sfarsit Razvan a venit acasa. Analizele sunt bune, starea lui la fel, si a inceput terapiile. Din fericire, nu a pierdut din achizitiile facute, misca singur picioarele, ridica capul si chiar s-a intors singur pe o parte. Avem sperante ca va fi din ce in ce mai bine si stim ce are de facut, ce trebuie sa facem noi, cum sa il ajutam, catre ce noi terapii sa ne indreptam ca Razvan sa poata duce intr-o zi o viata normala.

Acum, mai mult ca oricand, imi amintesc vorbele profesorului Hagner de la Clinica din Bydgoszcz: „Sa nu ascultati pe nimeni care va spune ca Razvan nu are sanse sa fie ceea ce a fost!! Este tanar, puternic, iubeste viata si este iubit!! Va trebuie insa multa rabdare, incredere si speranta in oameni si Dumnezeu”!! Este o lupta continua, cu boala, pentru viata!! Dumnezeu i-a mai dat lui Razvan inca O SANSA!!

Razvan a fost tot timpul alaturi familiei, prietenilor, celor dragi lui.

Razvan este inainte de toate un sot, un copil, un frate, un nepot, un prieten demn si devotat, un om plin de viata, puternic, curajos,un om care mai are atatea de spus si de oferit, un luptator care nu s-a dat batut chiar si cand « statistic » nu mai existau sanse.

Acum este randul nostru sa ii fim alaturi, sa-l sprijinim si sa-l sustinem in acesta grea incercarcare.

Razvan lupta pentru viata lui, pentru o viata normal!!

Dar asta nu este posibil fara ajutorul tau!!

 

Cum il putem ajuta pe Razvan?

Chiar daca sansele de recuperare sunt imbucuratoare, procesul lung al recuperarii nu poate fi o sarcina deloc usoara pentru familia noastra.

Pana in prezent, tratamentul lui Razvan a necesitat peste 100.000 de euro. Douazeci si opt de zile de tratament in Clinica Schoen (http://www.schoen-kliniken.de/ptp/kkh/nkm/kontakt/adresse/) din Munchen au costat 22.380 euro (Documente medicale – Oferta de pret si Plati efectuate – clinica Munchen).Razvan a stat acolo aproape 4 luni, dupa care au urmat 2 luni in Polonia.In prezent datorita evolutiei starii sale, Razvan are nevoie de o alta abordare a recuperarii care inseamna terapii mai diversificate si implicit, costuri mai mari.Suma de care este nevoie pentru ca Razvan sa continue tratamentul in viitoarele luni, este de 150.000 de euro.Acesta suma va fi folosita astfel: 10.000 euro pentru tratamentul la Centrul de medicina hiperbara din Constanta; 5000 euro pentru plata terapiilor intre seriile de terapie hiperbara( kinetoterapie, logopedie, reiki, acupunctura, reflexoterapie, masaj, osteopatie) si 135.000 euro pentru continuarea tratamentului medical pe o perioada de 4-5 luni, la o clinica de recuperare neurologica din Germania adecvata stadiului neurologic al lui Razvan.

Este o suma pe care familia nu si-o poate permite si pe care spera sa o poata obtine prin acesta campanie prin SMS si donatii in conturile existente.

Ajuta-ne sa il ajutam!

Din 13 octombrie 2009, pana pe 13 decembrie 2009, printr-un SMS, valabil in retelele Vodafone, Orange si Cosmote, la numarul 890, prin care vei dona 2 euro pentru tratamentul lui Razvan.

Deasemenea, conturile la care se pot face donatii pentru Razvan sunt:

ING Bank N.V.Amsterdam
Sucursala Bucuresti , Agentia Mihai Bravu
Cod SWIFT : INGBROBU
BIC 606410008
Titular de cont : ZAINESCU GABRIELA MINODORA ( mama lui Razvan )
IBAN: RO45INGB0000999900077895 (RON)
IBAN: RO71INGB0000999900077912 (EUR)
IBAN: RO60INGB0000999900077916 (USD)

BRD GSG Agentia Theodor Pallady
Cod SWIFT CODE: BRDEROBU
Titular de cont : ZAINESCU GABRIELA MINODORA
IBAN: RO54BRDE441SV14528194410 ( RON)
IBAN: RO20BRDE441SV02209874410 ( EUR)

BCR: Banca Comerciala Romana Sucursala Sector 3
Bd. Decebal nr. 11, bl S14, sector 3 Bucuresti
Cod Swift: RNCB ROBU
Titular de cont : ZAINESCU GABRIELA MINODORA
IBAN: RO93RNCB0318005670430001 ( RON)
IBAN: RO27RNCB0074005670430003 ( EUR)

Who is Razvan Zainescu?

Razvan Zainescu is a remarkable and intelligent 32-year-old young man with a strong education and an exquisite sense of humor, who made his own way in the world and who had in front of him a promising future.

He graduated the “Al.Ion Cuza” High-school and then the Academy of Economic Studies in Bucharest. As soon as he got his Bachelor’s Degree, he joined Mastercard in Saint Louis, Missouri, through an AIESEC program. One month before the end of his contract, his father died prematurely. Razvan came back home, taking upon himself the duty to protect his family. He has always been by his mother’s and sister’s side.

Life went on. Razvan worked for companies like Reuters, Oracle and Deloitte and got accepted to an MBA program (http://www.linkedin.com/pub/razvan-zainescu/1/18b/50a).

The most important moment in his life was when he met Raluca, the woman who never stopped bringing joy in his eyes and heart and who became his wife on June 21st 2008. Razvan and Raluca Zainescu have met 5 years ago. From the first moment they loved each other and understood what true love means: “to love and to leave yourself in love.” Last year, on June 20th 2008, they got married and on June 21st they had the wedding. It was a beautiful wedding, just as they wanted: with many friends and closest family. They bought an apartment and they arranged it as per their taste. They decided that in 2009 they should have a baby and then be parents with “two boys and a girl”. Razvan’s dream, “to settle down and have a wife and kids” was coming true. These were wonderful dreams, just as of any young family! They had their whole life before them, and they wanted to live it to the fullest, and with a lot of love.

But life put Razvan to a difficult test… and no one has seen it coming…

On December 28th 2008, the time stopped for Raluca and Razvan Zainescu. They were in Cluj, visiting Raluca’s parents and preparing for the Holidays. They were resting after an eventful year but also hard work.

While they were sleeping at noon, Raluca woke up because Razvan had strong convulsions and he was trying hard to breathe. Razvan soon lost consciousness, and Raluca called Emergency. A SMURD crew had arrived in 15 minutes and when the doctors entered the house, Razvan stopped breathing. It took 40 minutes of resuscitation and six injections of adrenaline in his heart to bring him back to life. During the 40 minutes while he was revived, Razvan’s brain was in hypoxia or low oxygen. Razvan was therefore severely brain damaged.

Razvan entered a deep coma – Glasgow coma scale 3 (Glasgow scale notes from 3 to 15, in which below 3 there is only the clinical death and 15 means the condition of a normal person). At eight months since that unfortunate day, the cause of the crisis is still unknown. Some assumptions are about an epilepsy that could have begun at this age, although many tests have disproved it, others speak of a heart arrhythmia caused by stress, fatigue and followed by a sustained relaxation.
Razvan was taken to Emergency Hospital – Intensive Care Cluj.

Following NMR analysis Razvan was diagnosed with Hipoxo-ischemic encephalopathy, with brain damage (due to hypoxia) in basal cores and parietal cortex. Chances which were given by all doctors were minimal in terms of his recovery and said that until he exits the state of coma a realistic estimate cannot be made in terms of hypoxia’ consequence on the brain and the subsequent recovery.

Then he fell into a deep coma. Almost a year after that unhappy day, the cause of the seizure remains unknown.

On 16.01.09 Razvan was transported in a state of coma with a SMURD helicopter to Bucharest, Municipal Hospital in the unit of intensive care. The same chances were given here as well, although no one dared to say anything for sure.
On 19.01 Razvan awoke from the coma, in the sense that he opened his eyes, and following the tests he was revalued on 8 Glasgow scale. It was an immense joy for all, as we all knew that RAZVAN WAS FIGHTING!

Starting from 31.01 and until 2.02, when everything was confirmed by the doctors as well, Razvan has started to show other signs as well: to move his head, to follow with his eyes and focus, and to slightly move at least one hand and foot. This day was the first day when doctors (who made a council meeting on 2.02) have given optimistic chances of recovery.

Also on 2.02 Razvan’s case was accepted by the clinic LMU (Klinikum der Universitat Munchen), where he stood in the neurological intensive care and then in the recovery unit. It was an extraordinary opportunity for Razvan to have access to this level of medical care which was not available in our country. This opportunity was made possible thanks to Razvan’s employer, Deloitte, which, along with its other European subsidiaries provided an immense help, as well as thanks to the help of Razvan’s family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances.

Unfortunately, during all this time Razvan has developed a series of complications: cerebral edema due to resuscitation, a urinary infection, an ear infection, hand thrombophlebitis and the worst: a lung infection that had not given up for 2 weeks. With all these complications but with the most important thing – that Razvan begins to show signs that he had not given up to the battle with the disease and time – he was transported on 4.02.09 to LMU Munchen intensive care clinic, accompanied by Raluca and then , for 4 months, at Schoen Clinic Munich, for neurologic recuperation. Razvan was in evolution from a neurovegetative status to a primar stady of understandig, 12 scor of Glasgow scale ( is between 1-15, 15 is a normal status)
In Munchen, Razvan’s case generated a lot of sympathy amongst doctors and nurses. What made them respect him and his family the most was his willpower to continue the fight.

Razvan stayed in Munchen until May 26, never alone, as his wife Raluca and his mother Gabriela were always by his side, taking turns in accompanying him into therapy and helping out with his care. They both got acquainted with the required care and treatment and as soon as the therapists finished their physical treatment, Raluca and Gabriela would continue the exercises with Razvan.

Regrettably, the high expenses at the clinic in Germany forced the family to start looking for a more financially accessible place for Razvan’s care.

And it continues…

Razvan was moved from Munchen to Poland on May 26, 2009 with the help of an ambulance. He was moved to the Bydgoszcz clinic, which is also a university clinic with specialized doctors who are also professors providing assistance to medical school students. On May 28, Razvan started the treatment and his doctor, Margozata Cikovska presented us with a medical study: electrical stimulation of the central median nerve, a treatment which gave good results over the course of 11 years in both US and Japan. Razvan started this therapy on June 1st.

A day at Bydgoszcz was as follows: 7.30 AM: carrying out Razvan’s personal hygiene with the help of student nurses; 8 AM: Razvan was being fed prepared foods with the help of a syringe through his stomach tube; same way his medication was given to him in his flat water (about 500 ml in the morning); then between 9 AM and 2 PM Razvan was going through several therapy sessions (solex, cryotherapy, magnetotherapy); at 11.30 he was going through 90 minutes of kinesiotherapy, which was the most important step for Razvan. Then, every single day he worked an extra hour with another therapist (his name was Waldek) and another half hour with the speech therapist (her name was Agata). Razvan’s exercises involve multiple exercises including turning from one side to another, leaning against his elbows and standing using a standing frame. This way, he was able to start moving his hands, which were up until then rigid and in the fetal position. After his first speech therapy session over the week-end, when I was with Razvan and Raluca, Razvan made some pretty strong sounds, you could hear him from a distance.
Razvan’s therapy also involves psychology sessions. His median nerve stimulation therapt is part of his permanent treatment. Razvan’s lunch is between 1 – 1.30 PM, when he is also taking his medication. In between meals he is also drinking approx. 1000 ml of water mixed with natural juices, as well as yogurt and pudding. The last therapy session usually ends at 4 PM and is followed by additional therapy (where applicable) and then dinner, medication, outside walk and then sleep.

Razvan is usually tired and he falls asleep in between therapy sessions but he generally does not sleep more than 20-30 minutes. Then he is either walked in the wheelchair or he is having massage done or speech exercises. Bydgoszcz is a real school in terms of teaching the families of those unable to care for themselves to help their family members in need.

Homecoming and special people

Ms Lucia Popescu is a former intensive care nurse who retired about two years ago (she is 60, in very good shape and very devoted to her profession). She lived by herself in Campulung as her sons live in the capital city, Bucharest), so she came to the realization that she has to do something with her life as she was not happy just spending time by herself at home. This is how she ended up looking after an elderly professor for a whole year (he died at 95 a week before we came back to Romania with Razvan). When she met Razvan, she immediately thought of her her two boys, whom she saw in him (as they were of about the same age). She did not hesitate in accepting to take care of Razvan. She has been living with Razvan and Raluca since July 27 and we are very pleased with the help she is giving us and Razvan. She is very caring and strictly respects Razvan’s schedule as well as doctors’ orders, she collaborates with the therapists and is very involved in Razvan’s treatment. Sometimes I found her crying by his side for being unable to help him more…

Razvan’s condition

We returned to Romania on July 23 and he started his therapy here. Fortunately, Razvan maintained his muscular tone, which doesn’t usually happen in cases like these, but he was lucky enough, thanks to the proper care he received in Germany and Poland. When in Poland, Razvan’s room mate was a 26 year old man who had brain surgery and had been in a coma for 6 months. He was undergoing kinesiotherapy and standing exercises every day to keep him in shape for when he would wake up. The mentality was obviously different there, in what concerns these neuro-vegetative conditions. Razvan now actively responds (permanent communication with him during therapy is very important) and carries out what he is being told. It is true that he is not able to carry out movements all they way through but his muscles are being worked out, he is also able to walk his feet by himself a few centimeters in the direction he is being told, he is able to lift his leg 3-4 cm, his torso as well as of late. He is turning his head and most of all, he has a strong willpower and constantly responds YES by blinking, YES, he wants to keep going.

To better understand Razvan’s condition: he is conscious, he understands what’s going on around him and he communicates through blinking. He moves his legs a bit (a few centimeters) and his movements are correctly coordinated. His leg movements are voluntary, as well as his arm movements. His head movements are also normal. He is not able to speak but he emits sounds every now and then, sometimes when he is content, sometimes when something is bothering him. He recognizes those who visit him, he smiles to them and he is happy to hear jokes. Sometimes he cries silently…

Razvan’s condition is improving each day thanks to the help of a whole team of medical doctors (generalists, neurologists, homeopaths, acupuncturists, kinesiotherapists, massage, reiki and speech therapists, etc). They are all wonderful and devoted people that we trust entirely as we know they are professional and caring. But these therapies and services cost a lot! The handicapped permit obtained a month ago barely covers medication up to 600 euros per month, which is no where near enough as there are many other costs associated with Razvan’s treatment, especially his medication.

Ever since Razvan came home, the financial and administrative burden has been overwhelming. It all started on the first day back, because to begin with, there is no handicapped access to the building and the elevator is very small. Because of these improper conditions Razvan hadn’t been out of the house until August 16 when he had to be taken to Matei Bals infections diseases institute to be treated for a streptococcic endotheliitis.

Back home the fight continues!
(from the mother’s diary)
At last, on September 11 Razvan was out of the hospital and on Saturday, September 12 we left together for Constanta to take Razvan to the hyperbaric medicine centre. We took Razvan there on Saturday by ambulance and he started the oxygen therapy that very evening. 4-5 series of 20 hyperbaric oxygen sessions were going to follow. These sessions lasted between 3-4 hours and were providing Razvan with pure oxygen at a very high pressure, which helped Razvan get rid of the infections (it appears that oxygen fights these infections best). This treatment also helped Razvan receive oxygen in the less accessible parts of his system, such as small nerve fibres which had been deprived of oxygen and therefore inactive. We didn’t even know that there was such a treatment centre in Romania – it had been inaugurated back in April 2009 in Constanta and it’s headed by doctor Ion Bogdan. Generally, severe cases are brought here: post-trauma comatose patients, patients intoxicated with CO2 as well as children suffering from autism, diabetes, open wounds, serious burns, AVC and many others. In western Europe or North America almost each medical facility has a such hyperbaric centre but in Romania there is only one and few know of it. I am very happy that Raluca’s constant internet searches were not in vain and Razvan was able to get into this centre. Razvan now finished his fourth treatment session and we can say he is more relaxed, less spasmodic and more aware of what is happening around him. I even heard him say “mom” and “Ralu”! And he was also able to swallow half a mug filled with water using a spoon – after almost nine months!

September 16, 2009: Unfortunately, after last night based on some real good signs we had hoped that we’re high on the road to recovery (after the fourth session) this morning Razvan got sever fever (41 degrees) and we called the ambulance. He was taken to the ER at Constanta’s hospital and then to the infectious diseases hospital and then back to ER where he was looked after, for several hours, in intensive care. All personnel (from doctors to nurses) were very open and they understood that Razvan’s case was a difficult and complicated one. Unfortunately Razvan’s test results were showing a fast deterioration as he was going into septic shock. We are very thankful to those who understood the situation and helped us take Razvan into intensive care at Matei Bals infectious diseases institute in the night of September 17. His test results are better now, his diagnostic is bronchopneumonia as he caught an aggressive bacteria, klebsiela pulmonariae, which is usually caught in hospitals.

RAZVAN NOW

October 1, 2009: Finally, Razvan is home. His test results are good, his condition is good as well and he’s started his therapy sessions. Fortunately he hasn’t lost what he had gained in the past through therapy, he is moving his legs by himself, he is able to raise his head and he even turned from one side to another by himself. We are hoping that he is going to get better and we know what we have to do, how to help him, what treatments to look towards so that one day Razvan can have a normal life again.

Now, more than ever, professor Hagner’s words (he was a professor at Bydgoszcz clinic) come to my mind: “don’t listen to anyone that tells you that Razvan doesn’t have a chance to go back to how he was! He is yound and strong, he loves life and he is loved! You will need to be patient though, to have faith and hope in people and in God! It’s a continuous battle with the disease, for life. God gave Razvan ANOTHER CHANCE!

Razvan was always there for his family, friends and loved ones.

Razvan is above all a devoted husband, son, brother, grandson and friend, a man full of life, strong and courageous, a man who still has so much to offer, he is a fighter who did not give up even when statistically, he didn’t have a chance left.

This gives us, his family, friends and colleagues the strength to go on and keep on fighting for his chance!

Now it’s our turn to be there for him, to support him through these tough times.

Razvan is fighting for his life, for a normal life!

But this fight is not possible without your help!

How can you help Razvan

Even if the recovery chances are really high, the long process of recovery is by no means an easy task for our family.

Up to now, Razvan’s treatment has cost us 100.000 Euros. Twenty-eight days of treatment in the Schoen Clinic (http://www.schoen-kliniken.de/ptp/kkh/nkm/kontakt/adresse/) of Munchen 22.380 euro (Medical documents – Price offer and payments – Munchen Clinic). Razvan stayed there for almost 4 months, then in Poland for 2 months. At present, due to the evolution of his condition, Razvan needs a new approach to the recovery, namely a more diversified therapy and implicitly higher costs. The sum needed for Razvan to continue the treatment is 150.000 Euros. This sum will be used as follows: 10.000 Euros for the treatment in the Center of Hiperbar Medicine in Constanta; 5000 Euros for the cost of the therapy between the series of hiperbar therapy (kinetotherapy, logopedy, reiki, acupuncture, reflexotherapy, massage, osteopathy) and 135.000 Euros for the continuation of the medical treatment on a period of 4-5 months in a neurological recovery clinic in Germany, adequate for Razvan’s neurological condition.

It is a sum of money our family cannot afford and which hopes to be obtained by this campaign of SMS-s and donation in the existing accounts.

Help us to help him!

Starting from the date of October 13, 2009, until 13 December 2009, send an SMS to the number 890, in Vodafone, Orange and Cosmote networks, by which you donate 2 Euros for Razvan’s treatment.

The accounts for the donations for Razvan’s treatment are:

ING Bank N.V.Amsterdam
Bucuresti ,Mihai Bravu Agency
Cod SWIFT : INGBROBU
BIC 606410008: (M. Bravu Agency)
ACCOUNT HOLDER: ZAINESCU GABRIELA MINODORA (Razvan’s mother)
RO45INGB0000999900077895(RON)
RO71INGB0000999900077912(EUR)
RO60INGB0000999900077916(USD)
BRD GSG ,Theodor Pallady Agency
Cod SWIFT CODE: BRDEROBU
ACCOUNT HOLDER: ZAINESCU GABRIELA MINODORA
RO54BRDE441SV14528194410 (RON)
RO20BRDE441SV02209874410 (EUR)
BCR Romanian Commercial Bank – 3rd District Agency
11, Decebal Avenue, bl S14, district 3, Bucharest
Cod Swift: RNCB ROBU
ACCOUNT HOLDER: ZAINESCU GABRIELA MINODORA
RO27RNCB0074005670430003 (EUR)
RO93RNCB0318005670430001 (RON)

 

Razvan Zainescu ist ein junger Mann im Alter von 32 Jahren, bemerkenswert, intelligent, mit einem außergewöhnlichen Sinn für Humor, mit gründlichen Studien, der selber seinen Weg ausgewählt hat, mit einer vielversprechenden Zukunft. Er hat das theoretische “Al. Ioan Cuza” abgeschlossen und danach die Akademie für Wirtschaftliche Studien aus Bukarest. Gleich nach Abschluss der Fakultät ist er durch ein Programm AIESEC, nach Saint Louis, Missourri gefahren um bei Mastercard zu arbeiten.

Ein Monat bevor sein Vertrag erfüllt wäre, ist der verfrühte Tod seines Vaters dazwischenkommen. Razvan ist nach Hause zurückgekehrt und hat die Verantwortung übernommen seine Familie zu beschützen, so dass er immer nebst seiner Mutter und Schwester war. Das Leben hat seinen Lauf genommen.

Razvan hat für Reuters, Oracle und Deloitte gearbeitet und wurde beim MBA akzeptiert (http://www.linkedin.com/pub/razvan-zainescu/1/18b/50a) .

Der wichtigste Moment seines Lebens war das Treffen mit Raluca, die Frau die unaufhörlich sein Gesicht und Herz erleuchtet hat. Razvan und Raluca Zainescu haben sich vor 5 Jahren kennengelernt. Vom ersten Moment an haben sie sich gemocht und haben verstanden was wahre Liebe heißt: „zu lieben und sich geliebt zu lassen“. Voriges Jahr, am 20 Juni 2008 haben sie beim Standesamt geheiratet und am 21 Juni hatten sie die Hochzeit. Eine wundervolle Hochzeit so wie sie es sich gewünscht haben: mit vielen Freunden und die nähersten Familienangehörige. Sie haben ein Appartement gekauft und haben es nach ihren Geschmack zugerichtet. Sie hatten entschlossen 2009 ein Kind zu bekommen und danach Eltern „von zwei Jungen und einem Mädchen“ zu werden. Razvans Traum: „sein Haus zu haben, mit Frau und Kinder“ verwirklichte sich Schritt für Schritt… Wundervolle Träume wie jeder junger Familie! Sie hatten das ganze Leben vor sich und wünschten sich es auszuleben, schön und mit viel Liebe.

Aber das Leben hat Razvan einen schweren Versuch vorbehaltet, an dem sich niemand erwartet hat.

Am 28 Dezember 2008, ist die Zeit für Raluca und Razvan Zainescu stehengeblieben. Sie waren in Cluj, bei Razvans Schwiegereltern und bereiteten sich vor für die Feiertage. Sie hatten geplant mit den Paten bei einem Restaurant auszugehen und sich gut unter Freunde zu unterhalten. Das Unglück erschien ganz plötzlich. Während des Nachmittagsschlafs wurde Razvan von Krämpfen ergriffen. In 15 Minuten ist eine SMURD Besatzung angekommen, und als die Ärzte im Haus getreten sind hat Razvans Atem aufgehört. 40 Minuten Reanimation und 6 Adrenalininjektionen im Herz waren nötig um Razvan wieder zu beleben, während dessen aber sein Gehirn sich in Hypoxie (schlechte Sauerstoffversorgung) befand. Razvan ist im tiefen Koma getreten – Koma 3 auf der Glasgow-Skala (Glasgow-Skala notiert von 3 bis 15, wo unter 3 nur klinischer Tod ist und 15 den Zustand eines normalen Menschen bezeichnet).

Razvan wurde zum Notfallkrankenhaus – Intensivstation Cluj transportiert. Infolge der RMN Analysen wurde für Razvan die Diagnose Hipoxo-ischämische Enzephalopathie festgelegt, mit Gehirnläsion (infolge der Hypoxie) bei den basalen Kerne und im parietalem Kortex. Die Chancen die von alle Ärzten gegeben wurden waren minimal betreffs seiner Erholung und haben gesagt, dass bis er nicht aus dem Koma erwacht, keine realistische Schätzung gemacht werden kann betreffs der Hypoxieauswirkungen über das Gehirn und betreffs der nachfolgenden Erholung.

Am 16.01.09 wurde Razvan im Komazustand mit dem SMURD Hubschrauber nach Bukarest transportiert, zum Großstadtkrankenhaus, Intensivstation. Hier wurden die gleichen pessimistischen Chancen erteilt.

Am 19.01. ist Razvan aus dem Koma erwacht, im Sinne dass er die Augen geöffnet hat und infolge der Teste die man ihm gemacht hat wurde er neubewertet mit 8 auf der Glasgow-Skala. Ab dem Wochenende 31.01 und bis am 02.02. als alles auch von den Ärzten bestätigt wurde, Razvan fing an auch andere Zeichen zu geben: er hat sein Kopf bewegt, verfolgt mit dem Blick und konzentriert sich, hat ein wenig eine Hand und ein Fuß bewegt. Dies war der Tag als die Ärzte zum ersten Mal (sie hatten Rat am 2.02) optimistisch waren und haben sehr optimistische Erholungschanchen gegeben.

Ebenfalls am 2.02 wurde sein Fall an der Klinik LMU (Klinikum der Universität München) akzeptiert, wo Razvan in der neurologischer Intensivstation aufgenommen wird und danach wird er zur Erholung in der Klinik Schoen aus München bleiben. Dies war eine außerordentliche Chance für Razvan angesichts der Konditionen und Möglichkeiten von dort und die wir, leider, in unserem Land nicht haben. Die Chance wurde möglich dank der finanziellen Unterstützung seitens Deloitte, die Firma wo Razvan arbeitet, die für diesen Zweck auch andere Filialen aus Osteuropa und vom Hauptsitz einbezogen hat, aber auch dank der Hilfe der Familie, Freunden, Arbeitskollegen und Bekannte.

Fortsetzung…

In einer Zeitspanne von 4 Monate ist Razvan von einem neurovegetativen Zustand zu einem Zustand minimaler Reaktionsfähigkeit vorangeschritten.

Im München, der Fall von Razvan hat Sympathie geweckt zwischen den Ärzten und Krankenschwestern. Aber vor allem der Wille Razvans weiter zu kämpfen haben den Respekt gegenüber des „Rumänen“ und seiner Familie gebracht.

Razvan war in München bis am 26 Mai und während dieser Zeitspanne war er nicht einmal ein Tag alleine, Raluca und seine Mutter, Gabriela, haben sich ständig gewechselt und Razvan bei allen Therapien begleitet und bei seiner Pflege mitgeholfen. Beide haben das Krankenpflegesystem aus Deutschland gelernt und nachdem die Therapeuten die Zeit die für Razvan gewährt war, beendeten, setzten sie die Übungen fort.

Leider, die hohen Kosten vom Klinikum aus Deutschland haben die Familie veranlasst einen zugänglicheren Platz zu suchen.

Razvan wurde von München, Dienstag, 26 Mai, 6:45 Uhr mit einem Krankenwagen nach Poland zum Klinikum aus Bydgoszcz verstellt. (Dort gibt es ein medizinischer Universitätskomplex, welches Kliniken verschiedener Spezialitäten hat und wo einige Ärzte auch Lehrer sind und die Studenten ihr Praktikum machen). Die aus München haben ebenfalls alles nötige für Razvan vorbereitet, angefangen mit der Bereitstellung nicht nur der nötigen ärztlichen Dokumentation, ärztliche Briefe, CDs und CTs, aber auch die Arzneimittel für 2 Tage und alles was Razvan auf dem Weg nötig hatte. Am 28 Mai haben wir schon die Behandlung begonnen, und die Ärztin hat ein Studium vorgestellt. Es handelt sich um die elektrische Anregung des zentralen Mittelarmnervs, angewendet mit guten Ergebnisse seit 11 Jahren in Amerika und Japan, Therapie welche Razvan schon am 1 Juni begonnen hat.

Die Rückkehr im Land…

Am 23 Juli, ist Razvan im Land zurückgekehrt, und am 25 Juli hat er die Therapien begonnen. Zum Glück hat Razvan sein Muskeltonus behalten (normalerweise geschieht dies nicht in solchen Fällen, aber Deutschland und Poland haben ihre Arbeit gemacht). Razvan antwortet nun aktiv und erfüllt genau was man ihm verlangt. Es ist wahr dass er nicht die Kraft hat die Bewegungen vollständig durchzuführen, aber die Muskeln die jene Bewegung machen spannen sich, er bewegt ein paar cm allein die Füße in der Richtung in der es verlangt wird, hebt 3-4 cm den Fuß, neulich auch den Becken, dreht seinen Kopf und vor allem hat er einen großen Willen und antwortet ständig blinkend, dass JA, ich will fortsetzen!

Bis zurzeit hat die Behandlung Razvans 100.000 Euro benötigt. Achtundzwanzig Tage Behandlung in der Klinik Schoen (http://www.schoen-kliniken.de/ptp/kkh/nkm/kontakt/adresse/) aus Munchen haben 22.380 Euro (ärztliche Dokumente – Preisangebot und vorgenommene Zahlungen – Klinikum Munchen). Razvan war dort fast 4 Monate und danach folgten 2 Monate in Poland. Zurzeit, wegen der Voranschreitung seines Zustands, benötigt Razvan eine andere Herangehensweise der Erholung welches verschiedene Arten Therapien voraussetzt und ebenso höhere Kosten. Die nötige Summe für Razvan um die Behandlung in den zukünftigen Monaten fortzuführen ist in Höhe von 150.000 Euro. Diese Summe wird benutzt, wie folgt: 10.000 Euro für die Behandlung im Hyperbaren Medizinzentrum aus Constanta; 5000 Euro für Zahlung der Therapien zwischen den hyperbaren Therapieserien (physikalische Therapie, Logopädie, Reiki, Akupunktur, Fußreflexzonenmassage, Massage, Osteopathie) und 135.000 für die Fortsetzung der medizinischen Behandlung auf einer Zeitspanne von 4-5 Monate, in einer Neurologischen Klinik aus Deutschland angemessen des neurologischen Zustands von Razvan.

Es ist eine Summe welche sich unsere Familie nicht leisten kann und welche wir hoffen mittels dieser Kampagne durch SMS und Spenden in den befindlichen Kontos, zu erhalten.

Ein Appell an Sie für ein Menschenleben zu spenden!

Spenden für ein Leben!

Unterstützt Razvan, damit er seine Behandlung weiter führen kann die ihm zu einen normalen Leben verhilft. In Rumänien wird durch eine Sms 2€ an ihn gespendet.
Jede Spende zählt!

Eine humanitäre Kampagne, gratis und ohne Mwst., unterstützt von VODAFONE, ORANGE, COSMOTE- Romania.

Spenden Sie in der Konto ING Bank N.V.Amsterdam

ING Bank N.V.Amsterdam
Filiale Bukarest, Niederlassung Mihai Bravu
Cod SWIFT : INGBROBU
BIC 606410008
Inhaberkonto: ZAINESCU GABRIELA MINODORA ( Razvans Mutter )
IBAN: RO45INGB0000999900077895 (RON)
IBAN: RO71INGB0000999900077912 (EUR)
IBAN: RO60INGB0000999900077916 (USD)

Link :  http://www.razvan-zainescu.eu

Contact :         CONTACT: Gabriela Zainescu ( mama lui Razvan)
Telefon: + 4031 104 25 44
Mobil: + 40741 119 129
Email: gmzainescu@yahoo.com

 In my last job interview, the interviewer asked me, “If you could do anything for a living for the rest of your life, what would it be.”

Now, keep in mind that the job I was interviewing for was that of Forensic Case Manager for a Mental Health Facility… This job was intensive; working with a severely impaired population suffering from psychotic mood disorders. A majority of the population was also struggling with severe drug addictions and all were homeless offenders. This interview was the first real shot I had at possibly getting a job within my area of college studies! Even though I had virtually no previous experience, I knew they wanted me for the job. I could easily nail this interview. All I could think in my head was, “sling some bull. Do the monkey dance. Tell them you want to go to Grad School. Just get the job!”

But I couldn’t help it. My response was immediate, honest, and simple; “if I could be anything, I would be a professional house painter… or own my own bar in the Caribbean!”

Now, you’d imagine that an interviewer for a Mental Health Facilitiy would be looking for someone whose career aspirations might reach a little bit higher than properly caulking windows, cutting lines, and running ladders… or serving up cocktails to sun burnt tourists. And for a long time, I convinced myself that being a painter was a bad thing… I felt like it was a noble job but that I had to play it off like it was my segway-to-my-real-career.

But really, this was a truly great job… Every morning, I would wake up at the crack of dawn, bust my ass until the sun went down, and could stand back at the end of every single day, see my progress, and see how I have improved a strangers home and life.

Honestly, I can’t believe I stopped.

For a long time, I shamed myself out of embracing this as a great job because it didn’t come with a tie, health insurance, a desk, and all that bullshit. But one thing I do know is that I was more proud of the work I did while I was a house painter than in the eight months I have been a Forensic Case Manager. Yea, I got the job. But it was my job as a house painter that gave me the chance to travel to Costa Rica.

The truly great jobs are few and far between. They can manifest themselves in so many different ways… after all, not every kid wants to be a rich surgeon driving a Ferrari.

For most people, the overwhelming fear of financial instability leads them the tragic consequence of the dreaded 40 hour work week at the mundane desk job. These cubicled people have calendars tacked to their walls with palm-treed islands, Spanish fortresses, and Tuscan Villas. With hundreds of hours of vacation time banked, they will sit at their desks and daydream of the beautiful places that they have never gone to and never will get to.

Living in Vermont for four years, I met more people than I can count whose dream job paid jack-shit and there was no medical, dental, or vision plan… but the benefits were exactly what they were looking for; they traded their college diploma for lift tickets, they groomed trails, worked lifts, and taught kids how to ski. They rented winter condos with friends and loved their life.  They were working a job because they loved to do it- there was no end to work towards. How often do you get paid to do something you love?

I can’t think of any more ways to procrastinate. I already drove to college and spoke to my Financial Accounting professor about a reference letter. I already ate. I already read a few hours worth of Twilight fanfiction. I already played all my turns in Scrabble on Facebook. And now I’m done with this entry.

It’s time to study for my economics exam .

Rhodes Trust’s American branch announced the 32 winners of Rhodes Scholarships in 2009’s competition.  List of winners and press release below – congratulations to the winners, and congratulations to all the finalists, each of whom probably deserved to win.

American Rhodes Scholars-elect for 2010
(Subject to ratification by the Rhodes Trustees after acceptance by one of the colleges of Oxford University)

District 1

Maine, Bowdoin College
Mr. William J. Oppenheim III
112 Rosebrook Road
New Canaan, Connecticut 06840

New Jersey, Brown University
Mr. Zohar Atkins
9 Melrose Place
Montclair, New Jersey 07042

District 2

Connecticut, Wesleyan University
Mr. Russell A. Perkins
1583 Ashland Avenue
Evanston, Illinois 60201

Massachusetts, Yale University
Mr. Matthew L. Baum
90 Jensen Road
Watertown, Massachusetts 02472

District 3

New York, Swarthmore College
Mr. Mark Dlugash
16 North Chatsworth Avenue, Apt. 210
Larchmont, New York 10538

New York, United States Military Academy
Ms. Alexandra P. Rosenberg
10 Liberty Street, Apt. 43B
New York, New York 10005

District 4

Delaware, Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Ms. Caroline J. Huang
10 Rising Road
Newark, Delaware 19711

Pennsylvania, University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill
Mr. Henry L. Spelman
10 Woodbrook Lane
Swarthmore, Pennsylvania 19081

District 5

Maryland/DC, University of Virginia
Mr. Tyler S. Spencer
3408 Dent Place, NW
Washington, DC 20007

North Carolina, Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Ms. Ugwechi W. Amadi
113 Tulip Tree Drive
Camden, North Carolina 27921

District 6

Georgia, Harvard College
Ms. Grace Tiao
5162 Sunset Trail
Marietta, Georgia 30068

Virginia, College of William and Mary
Ms. Kira C. Allman
5223 Blockade Reach
Williamsburg, Virginia 23185

District 7

Alabama, Auburn University
Mr. Jordan D. Anderson
5602 Club Lane
Roanoke, Virginia 24018

Florida, Harvard College
Ms. Roxanne E. Bras
602 Trumpet Place
Celebration, Florida 34747

District 8

Texas, University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill
Ms. Elizabeth B. Longino
3243 Greenbrier Drive
Dallas, Texas 75225

Texas, Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Mr. Steven Mo
418 Chickory Wood Court
Pearland, Texas 77584

District 9

Indiana, Harvard College
Mr. Darryl W. Finkton
4335 Shady View Drive, Apt. 2C
Indianapolis, Indiana 46226

Kentucky, University of Louisville
Ms. Monica L. Marks
99 East Star Hill Road
Rush, Kentucky 41168

District 10

Illinois, Stanford University
Mr. Daniel D. Shih
2710 Yorkshire Court
Aurora, Illinois 60502

Michigan, Harvard College
Ms. Jean A. Junior
2303 Somerset Boulevard
Troy, Michigan 48084

District 11

Iowa, University of Chicago
Ms. Stephanie A. Bell
3725 Greenbranch Drive
West Des Moines, Iowa 50265

Wisconsin, Harvard College
Ms. Eva Z. Lam
935 North 31st Street
Milwaukee, Wisconsin 53208

District 12

Kansas, University of Pittsburgh
Ms. Eleanor M. Ott
1520 Crescent Road
Lawrence, Kansas 66044

Missouri, Truman State University
Mr. Andrew J. McCall
13204 Tablerock Drive
St. Louis, Missouri 63122

District 13

Colorado, Regis University
Mr. William D. Gohl
5345 Whip Trail
Colorado Springs, Colorado 80917

New Mexico, University of Arizona
Ms. Justine O. Schluntz
9203 Night Sky Lane NE
Albuquerque, New Mexico 87122

District 14

Montana, Columbia University
Mr. Raphael J.C. Graybill
401 4th Avenue North
Great Falls, Montana 59401

Washington, United States Military Academy
Ms. Elizabeth A. Betterbed
933 Gway Drive
Fox Island, Washington 98333

District 15

California, Princeton University
Mr. Henry R. Barmeier
13499 Chalet Clotilde Drive
Saratoga, California 95070

California, Yale University
Mr. Geoffrey C. Shaw
460 Bella Vista
Belvedere, California 94920

District 16

California, University of California-Los Angeles
Ms. Elizaveta Fouksman
3821 Hamilton Way
Emerald Hills, California 94062

California, United States Air Force Academy
Ms. Brittany L. Morreale
4128 Via Nievel
Palos Verdes Estates, California 90274

The press release:

WASHINGTON, DC/November 21, 2009 – Elliot F. Gerson, American Secretary of the Rhodes Trust, today announced the names of the thirty-two American men and women chosen as Rhodes Scholars representing the United States. Rhodes Scholarships provide all expenses for two or three years of study at the University of Oxford in England, and may allow funding in some instances for four years. Mr. Gerson called the Rhodes Scholarships, “the oldest and best known award for international study, and arguably the most famous academic award available to American college graduates.” They were created in 1902 by the Will of Cecil Rhodes, British philanthropist and African colonial pioneer. The first class of American Rhodes Scholars entered Oxford in 1904; those elected today will enter Oxford in October 2010.

Rhodes Scholars are chosen in a two-stage process. First, candidates must be endorsed by their college or university. Over 1500 students each year seek their institution’s endorsement; this year, 805 were endorsed by 326 different colleges and universities.

TRUSTEES
The Rt Hon Lord Waldegrave of North Hill (Chairman) The Lord Kerr of Kinlochard GCMG Miss Rosalind Hedley-Miller
The Rt Hon Lord Fellowes GCB GCVO QSO Mr Julian Ogilvie Thompson Professor John Bell
Mr Thomas W Seaman Professor Sir John Vickers Mr Michael McCaffery
WARDEN & SECRETARY TO THE TRUSTEES
Dr Donald Markwell

Committees of Selection in each of 16 U.S. districts then invite the strongest applicants to appear before them for interview. Gerson said, “applicants are chosen on the basis of the criteria set down in the Will of Cecil Rhodes. These criteria are high academic achievement, integrity of character, a spirit of unselfishness, respect for others, potential for leadership, and physical vigor. These basic characteristics are directed at fulfilling Mr. Rhodes’s hopes that the Rhodes Scholars would make an effective and positive contribution throughout the world. In Rhodes’ words, his Scholars should ‘esteem the performance of public duties as their highest aim.’”

Applicants in the United States may apply either through the state where they are legally resident or where they have attended college for at least two years. The district committees met separately, on Friday and Saturday, November 20 and 21, in cities across the country. Each district committee made a final selection of two Rhodes Scholars from the candidates of the state or states within the district. Two-hundred sixteen applicants from 97 different colleges and universities reached the final stage of the competition, including 16 that had never before had a student win a Rhodes Scholarship. Gerson also reported, “in most years, we elect a winner from a college that had never before had a Rhodes Scholar, even after more than a century. This year we are pleased to announce a first-time winner from Truman State University in Kirksville, Missouri.”

The thirty-two Rhodes Scholars chosen from the United States will join an international group of Scholars chosen from fourteen other jurisdictions around the world. In addition to the thirty-two Americans, Scholars are also selected from Australia, Bermuda, Canada, the nations of the Commonwealth Caribbean, Germany, Hong Kong, India, Jamaica, Kenya, New Zealand, Pakistan, Southern Africa (South Africa, plus Botswana, Lesotho, Malawi, Namibia and Swaziland), Zambia, and Zimbabwe. Approximately 80 Scholars are selected worldwide each year, including several non-U.S. Scholars who have attended American colleges and universities.

With the elections announced today, 3,196 Americans have won Rhodes Scholarships, representing 310 colleges and universities. Since 1976, women have been eligible to apply and 424 American women have now won the coveted scholarship. More than 1,800 American Rhodes Scholars are living in all parts of the U. S. and abroad.

The value of the Rhodes Scholarship varies depending on the academic field and the degree (B.A., master’s, doctoral) chosen. The Rhodes Trust pays all college and university fees, provides a stipend to cover necessary expenses while in residence in Oxford as well as during vacations, and transportation to and from England. Mr. Gerson estimates that the total value of the Scholarship averages approximately US$50,000 per year, or up to as much as US$175,000 for Scholars who remain in Oxford for four years.

The full list of the newly elected United States Rhodes Scholars, with the states from which they were chosen, their home addresses, and their American colleges or universities, follows. Brief biographies follow the list.

For further information, please contact:
Elliot F. Gerson
American Secretary
The Rhodes Trust
8229 Boone Boulevard, Suite 240
Vienna, Virginia 22182
(703) 821-5960

On Sunday, November 22, Mr. Gerson may be reached for press and other calls at 202-288-1195 or amsec@rhodesscholar.org, except between noon and 6:30 PM Eastern time. Joyce Knight of the American’s Secretary’s Office will be able to provide details on how to reach Scholars-elect, and may be reached Sunday at any time at 703-380-7980. Beginning Monday, November 23, questions can be directed to the Rhodes Trust office in Vienna, Virginia, at 703-821-5960, or to Mr. Gerson at amsec@rhodesscholar.org.

Short biographical sketches of each of the scholarship recipients can be found at the Rhodes Trust site.

I miss you sitting on top of tall ladders talking outside my bedroom window.

I’m still right across from you. I’m still right outside your bedroom window, you just need to turn and look at me.

I’ve seen a lot of theatre in the past few weeks since I’ve posted. The most stirring of them all was “Crave” by Sarah Kane.

And I want to play hide-and-seek and give you my clothes and tell you I like your shoes and sit on the steps while you take a bath and massage your neck and kiss your feet and hold your hand and go for a meal and not mind when you eat my food and meet you at Rudy’s and talk about the day and type your letters and carry your boxes and laugh at your paranoia and give you tapes you don’t listen to and watch great films and watch terrible films and complain about the radio and take pictures of you when you’re sleeping and get up to fetch you coffee and bagels and Danish and go to Florent and drink coffee at midnight and have you steal my cigarettes and never be able to find a match and tell you about the the program I saw the night before and take you to the eye hospital and not laugh at your jokes and want you in the morning but let you sleep for a while and kiss your back and stroke your skin and tell you how much I love your hair your eyes your lips your neck your breasts your ass your…
and sit on the steps smoking till your neighbor comes home and sit on the steps smoking till you come home and worry when you’re late and be amazed when you’re early and give you sunflowers and go to your party and dance till I’m black and be sorry when I’m wrong and happy when you forgive me and look at your photos and wish I’d known you forever and hear your voice in my ear and feel your skin on my skin and get scared when you’re angry and your eye has gone red and the other eye blue and your hair to the left and your face oriental and tell you you’re gorgeous and hug you when you’re anxious and hold you when you hurt and want you when I smell you and offend you when I touch you and whimper when I’m next to you and whimper when I’m not and dribble on your breast and smother you in the night and get cold when you take the blanket and hot when you don’t and melt when you smile and dissolve when you laugh and not understand why you think I’m rejecting you when I’m not rejecting you and wonder how you could think I’d ever reject you and wonder who you are but accept you anyway and tell you about the tree angel enchanted forest boy who flew across the ocean because he loved you and write poems for you and wonder why you don’t believe me and have a feeling so deep I can’t find words for it and want to buy you a kitten I’d get jealous of because it would get more attention than me and keep you in bed when you have to go and cry like a baby when you finally do and get rid of the roaches and buy you presents you don’t want and take them away again and ask you to marry me and you say no again but keep on asking because though you think I don’t mean it I do always have from the first time I asked you and wander the city thinking it’s empty without you and want want you want and think I’m losing myself but know I’m safe with you and tell you the worst of me and try to give you the best of me because you don’t deserve any less and answer your questions when I’d rather not and tell you the truth when I really dont’ want to and try to be honest because I know you prefer it and think it’s all over but hang on in for just ten more minutes before you throw me out of your life and forget who I am and try to get closer to you because it’s a beautiful learning to know you and well worth the effort and speak German to you badly and Hebrew to you worse and make love with you at three in the morning and somehow somehow somehow communicate some of the overwhelming undying overpowering unconditional all-encompassing heart-enriching mind-expanding on-going never-ending love I have for you.

Things have been so insanely busy…between Master Electrician for Streetcar Named Desire, which was epic and wonderful, and then moving directly into work for the Department show of Rent, I’ve barely had time to lift my head above water let alone eat, sleep, or do non-theatre work.

Streetcar: Team Lights

Things have gotten better, but this week has still contained two nights without sleep (Wednesday night /Thursday morning and Saturday night/Sunday morning).

I spent a long while at the cast party for Streetcar talking outside with the lighting designer, cursing about gender and the Vassar experiment and how it has spilled over into my world at Smith.

And I cannot decide what I want and I now have no idea who I am. I have to face returning to Smith, returning to an all-women’s college when inevitably, people have begun to ask C. what pronouns I want to go by. How can I explain this? Do I need to operate through life with a disclaimer on my chest?

Am I constantly doomed to be read as a gay man (for when I am read as male, that’s how I am read) ?

Can “Jacks” and “Alana” exist as one person when I feel constantly displaced as both? I don’t really care about acceptance from the real world, though the reactions of my parents terrify me, but why can’t I just find a place within myself where I feel comfortable residing? Why must I choose, male or female? I am neither. I disagree with the perceptions and connotations of both so why can’t E. and Smith students and Vassar students and my parents just understand that?

I feel comforted by the fact that E.V. seems to comprehend it. She has mentioned once or twice that she wants to have these “gender conversations” with me. But I feel like my life is one big conversation about it. So sometimes its nice just to be with someone who sees my maleness and femaleness as one unalterable compound thing. Finally I feel viewed as an individual, a person. Perhaps I feel so comfortable with her because I do not feel like I have to act male or act female, do not have to hide the fact that when I get drunk or high, i become girly, do not have to be macho or feminine to please the viewer or the viewer’s perception of me.

Back to real life, my favorite of the all-nighters I pulled was Saturday. It started with going to see The Full Monthy, then pizza at Bacio’s at midnight, then writing a paper on The Handmaid’s Tale until 5 AM, moments of other what other’s would see as violent but to me was intimate and unifying, then prep cooking for Sunday night and watching the sun rise over Sunset Lake. And then, finally, sleep.

Last night was Ferry House Thanksgiving. Delicious vegan/vegetarian food: vegan mashed potatoes, salad with tahini dressing, mushroom and cabbage pieroges, whole wheat pesto pasta, squash lasagna, sweet squash and beans, corn muffins, apple crisp, bread pudding, molasses pie, wine and beer. Yet before anyone even got there, with the craziness in the kitchen and mass cleaning and then beers while waiting for everyone to arrive…it felt like family, like real family. Finally now, I know where I belong. It’s many hundred miles but it won’t be long.

I’ve had so many adventures here. And even with a little less than a month left, even though that is so much time, I have begun to reflect, perhaps to prepare myself for the inevitable return.

A lot of people have been asking me lately if I’m staying for a semester or a year. The last time it came up, the answer managed to silence the whole room. Before that, the stage manager of Streetcar spent twenty drunken minutes trying to convince me to transfer.

But who will remember me when I’m gone from this place? Will they look back and think: “Oh remember Jacks? He was awesome.” Will freshman ask, “Who was Jacks?” “Oh just this guy. He was only here for one semester…”

I don’t really care either way. My friends, the people who matter here, will miss me. I think. These silly things I like to dwell on.

Memories of friends, memories of any night, of nights I like best: The room is full of smoke and dialogue I know by heart. It’s well after midnight, and I’m sitting on the couch with my good friends, relaxin’ and passin’. Someone is playing a game on the TV and there is ska music coming from the walls. The world has stopped, and we have too; stopped caring, stopped crying and stopped regretting. We are all friends, no matter the difference.

ML and JK forever

Cute drunkies.

All you need is love

There's a girl, named Jackson

Talking about love, dancing about architecture...but I'm sure Vassar has an architecture/dance class

Good friends + cheap wine = memorable wonderful times

Monday November 23, 2009   By Kevin Morrow

What a day I had yesterday. I played in an all day tournament at the University of California Irvine, I had a lot of fun. There was a lot of action during the day, from the interesting mellow drama of my transportation, to the mini series of events during the games. Throughout it all I learned a lot of new things about myself and about reality.

I began the day on a journey from Corona to San Bernardino then back to Irvine. I really didn’t know where the ARC (Anteater Recreation Center) was but I had a general idea of where the school was from memory. As I left to Irvine from San Bernardino I ended up in a construction area that had the freeway narrowed down to one lane. Normally I would be worried and panicking, because I was supposed to be at the gym at 9Am, and let’s just say…”I wasn’t going to make it there by 9Am.”

So instead of worrying, I kicked back, put on some music that reminded me of happiness, and I went with the flow. After I made it through the traffic it was straight coasting all the way through. Time flies when you are having, fun, or maybe it doesn’t exist. I eventually arrived at the campus of UCI and I had no idea where to go.

This was yet another example of how worrying would get me  nowhere. The cool thing was I just felt my way to the center. I had no directions and I had never been there before. I was tempted to ask these two ladies where it was but something told me to go with my gut. As a backup plan I would ask someone, because there was no shortage of people walking around, but I decided to go with my instincts.

Somehow by listening to my inner compass I found the ARC without a problem. Which was a huge relief, instantly I began to realize that maybe I know things that I don’t think I know. All of this goes well with previous things I have blogged about. But anyway, back to the subject.

The tournament ends and I have to go back to San bernardino, which is about an hour or more from where I was. It was dark outside and I found myself lost. Not really lost, but confused I guess you could say. I didn’t feel a knowing for where I was. Plus I didn’t know the street names. All I knew was I needed to get back to the 73 freeway.

So I head out in a direction and I feel like I am headed the wrong direction on a street named Culver, but I second guess myself and keep going. I decided to stop at a gas station and admit to myself that I didn’t know where I was. I go inside of the gas station in an attempt to ask directions.

I’m literally waiting in line for ten minutes behind this guy who is having a full on conversation with the clerk. I was tempted for a second to get angry, but then I calmed myself. I thought to myself, “What’s the point in being upset, I’m here this is happening right now so just chill and relax. Stop worrying there is nothing you can do to change it, so change your attitude. Enjoy this moment, maybe you will learn something. Besides your anger is in your imagination anyway.”

As soon as I finish that dialogue in my head, another clerk comes out from the back and asks to help me. I slide myself over to him and explain that I somehow got turned around and I’m looking for the 73 freeway. The clerk looks at me and has no answer, he looks at the other clerk, who also has no answer. Before I can even think, the same guy who was in front of me starts politely explaining to me where the 73 freeway was. All I had to do was turn around on Culver and keep going until I ran into it.

I thanked the gentleman three times and left him with a “Have a great night!” This was really cool to me, because I realized that without worrying everything worked itself out. But wait, there is more, this is were the story gets even better. I go all the way down Culver for what seemed like forever and I get to the 73 freeway.

Now before when I came up the 73 I didn’t have to pay a toll, and so I wasn’t event thinking about having to pay a toll. It was the last thing to cross my mind. I’m not paying attention to signs, I just hop on the onramp because I’m already late as it is getting back to San Bernardino. Then I start seeing these lights and a sign that says toll. I’m like “uh oh,” because I have no money on me. All I have is my debit card which is in the negative at the moment.

Naturally I start getting worried because there is this big sign that says $500 fine for people who go through the toll without paying. So for a brief 30 seconds I get worried. I mean how do I turn around on an onramp? So I start to calm down and I decide that I should just back up slowly with my hazards on because at this point I’m the only person on the road. I actually found 20 cents in the car but the toll was $1. So I’m calmed down and start telling myself not to worry because there is always a solution.

Then I see the headlights of a car, they pull up right behind me. Im sitting there, I look back in the rear view, they look at me, I look at them, they look at me, I look at them…I thought to myself that I was in a good situation because the young lady behind me was a pretty one and I could feel that she had a genuine care for others. All materialistic things aside however I thought to myself it would be awkward if I got out the car and asked for her help.

“So I looked back and said “Would you mind if I backed up and turned around?”

She said  “No I can back up, do you need me to?”

I was like “Yeah I’m a little lost and I wasn’t aware that this was a toll, I don’t have any cash on me.”

This young lady says not to “worry” about it she has a dollar in change to spare me.

I was like wow.

All I could say was Thank you several times, and I wished her a great night.

Out of all the people to run into at that time when there was nobody else on the road.She even told me she only hops on this part of the freeway to go down a couple exits.

And that my friends is how NOT worrying saved me from a $500 Fine.

umm… may be title (if u missed it its -> 6 days to University Exams….) sums it all. Past week had been very busy and most probably worsen will be coming 2 weeks.

later

November 19, 2009 A MAN used the Internet to lure six college students into having a sex party with his friends at a resort in Bentong, Pahang.

According to Harian Metro, police found that the man had also been organising sex parties with students in Kuala Lumpur, Malacca, Negri Sembilan and Selangor for the past year.

The man was detained along with five others aged between 20 and 22 after authorities conducted a 3am raid on the apartment he had rented.

It is believed that the man, together with his friends — two of whom were civil servants — had persuaded the students to have sex while under the influence of alcohol.

The students, all aged 19, were willing participants in the party.

Three couples held at the scene were tested positive for the drug ketamine and had 2.3g of the same substance with them.

The job market is a tough one these days, and whether you are a recent high school grad, college grad, or simply looking to make a career change, finding a job that offers you a challenge and the chance to give back to the community can be a daunting task. The U.S. aggregate producers that comprise the National Stone, Sand and Gravel Association have joined forces to develop new recruiting materials that’ll show that this industry can provide just that.

Did you know that the aggregate industry gives back to America, adding almost 40 billion dollars to the U.S. gross domestic product? In fact, for every $1 of industry output, $1.58 is returned! More than 100,000 men and women are currently employed by the NSSGA, and have been seeing the benefits firsthand for years. Currently, there are many and varied employment opportunities available within the industry.

In addition to propelling the economy, NSSGA and its members also feel it is important to protect the environment. They have developed several sustainability goals with a focus on being as environmentally conscious as possible. Members not only realize that wise, environmental choices are good business and good for business, but that life depends on Earth’s finite resources. NSSGA understands that we must make smart decisions now to ensure quality of life is preserved for future generations.

So what type of positions does the aggregates industry offer? Everything from:

• Human Resource Specialist
• Accountant and Manager
• Safety and Health
• IT and other office and management functions
• Engineering
• Operator of heavy equipment
• Truck drivers
• Production Manager
• And so much more!

To learn more about what the aggregates industry can offer you and to complete a survey, simply visit: http://www.foundation4thefuture.com. And be sure to check out NSSGA on Facebook at: http://www.facebook.com/pages/National-Stone-Sand-Gravel-Association/46772849391

I like old postcards and cartography. These are really pretty.

This guy is right, I should be vegan. The last line in this article is haunting. I have so much work to do!

All weekend, I was a wreck. I was feverously prepping for my interview with Alyssa, the head of the Page Program, that took place this morning.  What if she didn’t like me, what if I didnt make a good impression… the what if’s were plaguing my all night long, hence the coffee addiction haze that I am in while writing this current post.

Leaving my desk at Studio 7E at 945 for the 14th floor, I made my way down to the west bank elevators and went up… here goes nothing.

Entering the studio, I saw a room full of pages, working diligantly at their desks, frazzled yet.. empowered. They were doing what so many young people like myself would kill for the opportunity to do. Oh how I want to be frazzled!

Turning the corner, I immediately meet Alyssa, who greets me with a warm smile. I realize then and there that I was nervous for nothing! After having a long conversation with here about her experience with the program, the ins and outs of what will be expected, and where the interview process will go from here, I know this is what I want.

“Alyssa… may I be honest with you?”

“Of course,” she says, with a slight bit of hesitation.

“I know this is what I want to do. I know that NBC is it, where I belong, and I know that I want to be a page.”

It may have been a bit blunt for the first meeting, but I could not contain the words in my mouth. It was the truth.

“Great”, she said, to my suprise and delight. “I’ll definitely be putting your name at the top of the list for the next round of interviews.”

Leaving her office, for this first time in my young career, I felt a feeling that I have never felt before. Confidence. While my other interviews I had left always feeling uneasy, I had a very good feeling about this one.  I have a very strong feeling that becoming a page is my path…. and I’m definitely going to take it!

freshman year of high school i ended the year the same way i ended every other school year of my life: all A’s, sweet, innocent, and the epitome of daddy’s little girl.

that summer i took a turn – maybe for the worst, maybe the better, who’s to say – nonetheless it was a turn. it was the end of the summer, and me and two of my friends wanted to get drunk for the first time. we made a call, got the liquor – AND THAT WAS IT.

in that moment, i changed.

i was no longer sweet, no longer innocent.

i snuck out of my house on a daily basis, dated older guys, i was no longer the epitome of daddy’s little girl – more like daddy’s little girl gone wrong.

now, don’t get me wrong, at face value, i was still that innocent little girl, but i had secrets. secrets that i made sure my father would never find out, secrets that NO ONE would find out unless they became friends with me.

my sixteen birthday, i didn’t get the big extravagant party that everyone hopes to get. i had dinner with two of my friends, got home after dinner and waited for my father to go to sleep. after the snores filled the house, we hit the liquor cabinet. got drunk. went out. and had a good memorable night.

sophomore year of high school, i went to my first college party – got pissy drunk. threw up everwhere. and woke up with the worst hangover.

sensing a pattern?

my pattern was alcohol – and it was only gettin worse.

junior year was a whole ‘nother story. every weekend me and one of my aces were at a party every weekend. drinking. dancing. partying the night away. junior year, my and my o t h e r ace skipped track practice to go home and hit the liquor cabinet at 10 am.

this is the route my life was going.

senior year – well summer after senior year kinda of set the whole thing off. from senior week. to end of the year parties. to mid-summer parties. to graduation parties. to end of the summer parties. cancun. to say the least – that summer was a blurr.

college has been no different. a lot of shit i have gotten into has involved liquor. mistakes have been made. mistakes i sometime wish i could take back. but those mistakes have shaped who i am today.

i’ve put down the bottle too many times. but the i picked it back up.

so why is this time any different?

cause this time i mean it.

i have lost all desire for alcohol.

holidays are different.

any day other than that – well lets just say

it’s time i grow up.

My day started out awful today…

I woke up at 7:00 to get to my gym class, took a shower then spent forever looking for Mike because he said he’d come with me. Ha, turns out he’d already left and so I arrived to my gym class a few minutes late. My professor told me that I should start getting there “on time” and that it’s already happened twice. Not to mention I still had to make up two gym classes with her. I don’t stand too well with her, I’m sure. At the end of the class she offhandedly apologized so I went to English feeling a little bit better. My 6 page paper was due – the rough draft. I had it done! But it wasn’t looking so hot in content. I arrived a tad late for that class too because of printing issues – but Kurt (My english Prof) is always super nice and understanding. He helped my day out a lot. We got to peer review and he looked over mine giving me great tips. Sure, I have to rewrite a lot of it – but it’s worth it if it’s 40 % of my English grade.
~I’m a little bit tired  from last night – Nathan’s brother, Nick, came over; he was a lot of good fun. We went to Garvey (The cafeteria) and then played some games, talked about the army and listened to some music. Apparently he’s big into gaming…
Mike said he’d start doing some photography for my blog – I always forget to bring my camera when it matters so maybe this could be for the better.

As of late, I’ve had some major sleeping issues. It turns out that I hardly ever get sleep and none of it feels restful even if I do. I’m  contemplating takeing sleep medication – I think a lot of it is stress. But writing this blog is two-fold, it helps me relieve stress and it helps me remember parts of my life that I never want to forget. Hopefully my sleeping problem will get better – I want to exhaust everything else before I go to sleep medication; I hear it’s bad for you.

Beatus Vir Qui Suffrent Tentationem

.Rin.

ELON, N. C.—Anya Kamenetz surprised her audience of students at Elon University as her hour-long speech on finances ended with four simple words: “Do what you love.”

From an early age, most students learn that there is only one way to become successful: go to college, get good grades and network. For decades, a bachelor’s degree almost guaranteed a job after graduating, but in today’s highly competitive job market this is no longer the case: jobs are scarce and many go to applicants who have had extensive schooling, thus the option of going to graduate school is quickly becoming a way of life.

Kamenetz bluntly sums up the current financial crisis that the world, and college students especially, are currently involved: “What we have is short term insanity.”

With people staying in the work force longer and companies trying to keep costs (and employees) low to continue profiting, the job market is scarce. In this time of little opportunity, Kamenetz urged students to break away from striving for the traditional career model, in which people typically make a living doing something they might not feel passionately about.  With the market in shambles, Kamenetz told students that now is the perfect time to become self indulgent and decide on a career that they really love.

“You people in this room have more of an opportunity to do what you love more than anyone else in this world,” she said.

Kamenetz, a Yale graduate and author of “Generation Debt,” began her lecture with important statistics, explaining that for the last three decades Americans have spent beyond their needs, how income growth has flat-lined in the past 10 years, how people in middle America must learn to accept a lower standard of living if they want to get rid of debt.  As the speech progressed, Kamenetz surprised students. Rather than offering an updated look at financial strategies, she gave them optimistic outlines for success: do what you love, work hard, intern, skill and re-skill, network and embrace change.

The author said that students are deep in debt and typically do not use the right strategies to deal with it. She stated the average young adult who is in debt spends half of each dollar earned on credit cards and advised students to keep track of their loans, not to fall behind and to take out direct loans.

She shared a few financial strategies with the students in hopes that they are not buried alive by debt. Some helpful tips included following her balanced money formula, which calls for people to spend 50 percent of income on needs, 30 percent on wants, and 20 percent on savings. In addition, recommended a number of free online resources, such as Geezo and Smartypig that could become invaluable to students as they leave college and their parents for good.

Kamenetz was able to offer students something they usually deny themselves: a “me-first” perspective. Pitted against a scrappy job market and the high cost of the grad schools they are told they must attend to be competitive, she has a point: this is the best time to take a risk. A student could attend grad school, fall even deeper into debt, and still not land a job to pay the rent.

In such an uncertain climate there is less of a risk pursuing what a person loves—even if it means a smaller paycheck.

Nearly six and a half years ago, I was anxiously awaiting an essential piece of information from the university I’d be attending in the fall. It wasn’t a course schedule or orientation information. Oh no, it was much more important than that. I was waiting for my roommate assignment.

I was nervous, to say the least, after all the roommate horror stories I’d heard, plus my lack of confidence that the roommate questionnaire was really capable of pairing me with an appropriate match.

But, after all that worrying, and imagining the worst possible scenarios, something ended up going very, very right. Jus and I clicked instantly.

First week (maybe the first day?) of orientation. So young...

None of the roommate tales I’d heard would have had me predicting that we’d live together all four years of college, but that’s exactly what happened. And while those four years provided us with oh-so-many stories (at least one of which I shared), there’s one story from freshman year that proved early on what a good (and tolerant) roommate Jus was:

Some of the details are a bit fuzzy. The night had been a celebration of accepting my sorority bid, and therefore, an initiation of sorts had taken place. A very good, and very strong, friend had carried me a good part of the way back home, and had even called Jus to let her know we were coming. They both put me into bed and figured that was that.

Except, I must have gotten up to use the bathroom at some point in the middle of the night, and when I walked back into the dark room, I could see Jus asleep in her bed, and (what I thought was) someone asleep in mine. (Turns out, it was just the way the comforter was positioned…who knew?)

So, thinking that my bed was taken, I made the only logical choice. I crawled into bed with Jus and proceeded to spoon with her for the rest of the night. She didn’t kick me out. She didn’t wake me up. She just nudged over a little bit to make room for me. And when we woke up in the morning, and I realized that there wasn’t, in fact, anyone in my bed, she just said, “Yeah, I wasn’t really sure why you got in bed with me, but I wasn’t too worried about it.“

She’s clearly the best. And today is her birthday.

So happy birthday, Jus! I hope you celebrated well this weekend.

And maybe even did a little spooning.

I’ve been splitting my leisure time (that isn’t spent on recording music) between LBP and MW2, quite possibly two of the greatest games of all-time. However, the one thing that angers me about them both is the story for the single-player experience. Both games need some serious attention devoted to their stories. By the way, if you haven’t finished MW2 by now, Shepard’s a traitor, Price comes back, Roach gets killed by Shepard, and Soap kills Shepard with a throwing knife. Mind you, this is all after Price launches a nuclear warhead into the Earth’s atmosphere that acts as a giant EMP…but doesn’t rain radiation down upon everyone. (If you’re scratching your head, you’re not the only one). And, LBP, with its out-of-the-blue-final-boss-that-really-is-super-easy–
Oh, screw it, just read the LBP and Modern Warfare TV Tropes page (greatest website ever, besides here)
Now that my nerdisms are out the way, I’m floating up shit’s creek armless with the paddles right in front of me. I have about 35 pages of work I need to crank out in the next couple weeks. This, conveniently enough, happens to fall over the Thanksgiving break. So, in addition to dealing with bookoo work, I have to deal with my little cousins running around like brats out of hell.
Yuuuuup.
::runs outside and prays that a meteor falls on me::

Kevin Sinclair, Minister to Youth

Back in the comfort of my apartment nestled nicely between the Medical Center and the Third Ward, I am trying to allow my memory to drift back over the course of this week, so that I might recall the soft spaces in my soul in need of kneading and coaxing so that yet even more understanding might surface. Today, a ragged band of weary missionaries, healers, builders, strugglers, saints, sinners, believers, doubters, and spiritual-paupers poured off Continental flight 590 from Peru. In the haze of this cool, sacred Houston morning, we were met by the smiling faces of friends, family, and mystical mixture of the two. Overjoyed to be greeted by one of my youth, Johnny, Susan, and I piled into the Moore’s van with Bill and Rachel. As we shared stories, I could see our breath dancing in the soft blow of the air conditioning, like the wisps and whispers of the memory and remembrances we were attempting to convey. We carried on the only kind of conversation humans are capable of after a red-eye flight and a week of immersion into another world.

What stories can we tell? What words can exhaust the experiences we share on this (or any) mission trip, journey, adventure, battle, struggle, retreat, etc etc etc…?

The difference, it seems, is infinite.

Experience is a powerful tool, and at times it makes all the difference between clarity and confusion. How many times have you heard someone finish a story with, once the story is met with faint chuckles, “Oh, well, I guess you had to be there…”? Yet, are those not the stories that bind groups of people together who, in fact, were there? Our experiences draw us together in a way that is very much human AND divine. I love the story of the Incarnation and how this idea becomes the fusion of flesh and Word, blood and spirit. God weaves us together into a patchwork of journeys–some victorious, some devastating–that allow us to make sense of our experiences together as friends and fellow-pilgrims on this road we call life. Such a journey was shared this week.

The heavenly sound of children playing, the crow of the roosters, busy echoes of the OSA House, the piercingly loud door-bell, the putter and cough of the exhaust pipes as our bus climbs the hills of Collique, and laughter and conversations shared by the team over Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwiches prepared by the loving hands of Charis Smith and company…these are the fragments of experience I brought back to Houston with me.

Nonetheless, these experiences are not enough. We must return not as weekend warriors who have done our good deed for the year, but as the Prophets and Preachers who proclaim into the darkness, “Behold, God is making all things new…” while still clutching onto the words of Saint Andrew at the feeding of the hungry multitudes, “…but, what is this among so many?” Marco told us today that we saw over 1,500 people in the clinic, and after the first day I spoke with Vince in the optometry office about how things were progressing, and he informed me that we had passed out 78 pairs of glasses. With a mixture of sincerity and levity, I said, “Wow, that is 78 people who before coming here could not see…Jesus didn’t even heal that many blind people in the Gospels!” After my somewhat flippant response I was immediately reminded of a verse that has plagued me for years:

“Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do…” (John 14:12)

For the longest time, I thought this verse meant greater in quality (Resurrection, Miraculous Healings, etc), and as one who does not have much of a taste for the pageantry of Benny Hinn, I put these red letters aside for another day. Now, here I stand, a stranger in a strange land, nose itchy and throat hoarse from the dust of the waterless earth of Collique, this text emerged in my soul once again. When Christ left, he did not leave us to do what we could with what we have–Christ gives us himself. He gives us himself in the form of the Holy Spirit…he gives us himself in the form of Community…he gives us himself in the creativity of the God-searchers and Christ-followers who first established hospitals, orphanages, monasteries, social programs, homeless shelters, and so many more things We do when We are at Our best…he gives us himself the skillfulness and discipline of doctors and carpenters and the giftedness and compassion of teachers…he gives us everything we need to be all he calls us to be. Every eye exam Susan Young gave, and every pair of glasses Vince and Anna Beth meticulously organized before the whole team arrived, was one person…a whole, entire human being…given the gift of sight so that they like the blind man might declare, “All I know is I was blind…but now…I see.” Every pill passed out by Patti is a stepping stone on the journey to wellness for a people who otherwise have nothing. Every nail driven deep into softened lumber by Johnny is a building block of not just a home, but space for a family to discover dignity. Every craft Melissa helped the children make becomes a gift joyfully given to a friend, parent, or one of us by the children…for “it is in giving that we truly receive,” and these children–these dear, sweet, wounded, yet vibrant and bubbly children–who have quite literally nothing are the ones who had to teach us who have so much wealth, power, influence, treasure, and stuff.

So, here I sit in my comfortable apartment nestled in my soft chairs, watch my television, and wrap myself in comfort…and I can’t help but realize that “they” are where Christ is and are who Christ is in our world. But, “they” are not just in Collique. They live in Eagle Pass, Guatemala, China, Mexico, and Houston. They are sleeping on the steps of South Main. They are huddled in shelters trying to make their way home. They walk the halls of our offices and schools, devoid of love and human contact. They are in every city, every town, every village, every hamlet, in every valley, and every mountain on this big, blue planet of ours. So, even with all the good we do as the Church, there is so much left to do. Maybe we pray the words of our Lord, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few! Ask the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into the fields.” (Luke 10:2)

I leave you with the words of Dr. Luis Campos, one of the many people throughout history who have turned a listening ear to God and a discerning heart to the winds of the Spirit:

“…Give them Hope! Hope in Him who is the Maker of the Universe but, ‘…had no place in this World to lay His Head.’ He knows all about poverty…[for] ‘Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal.’”

In the name of the God who Dreams the Dreams we are called to live out loud, Amen.

Grace & Peace,

Kevin

Today is a quiet day.  Not in all appearences, however.  The halls fill with students, rushing to their next lecture, lounging on the plush couches that scatter the typical arts building lobby;  eating lunches,  meandering on their way to meet friends for a rather burnt but satisfying £2 coffee.  Yet, sitting at a computer automatically renders one an ‘off-limits’ person.  There is the universally understood rule that you never disturb a typing college student, unless previously given invasion rights.  So, in this world it is quiet and the outside just flows around you; you’re not disturbing it, only changing its course. 

Snatches of conversation invade one’s musings, or the searching the cheapest memory boosters – as exams loom in the very near future.  Though the reality check that is as cold as the winter winds that have set in for the duration, will wait another week.  Studying is still a vague thought of the future, as the library braces itself for the onslaught of students it will see over the next three weeks.  A revision week will find the library achingly empty, as students take those glorious 10 days to travel, sleep in, and relax.  Studying can wait.  Until the week of the exam arrives, and suddenly one waits for hours to enter the stuffy halls of the over-packed reference section.   Study groups massing on every flat surface and in every quiet room that can still be found.

But why would one wait that long?  Who should bother with staying up all night, memorizing the sequence of events that lead up the completion of a publically commisioned fresco?  Do it now, while there are still open spaces amongst the books that will reveal all the answers to you.  But again, why bother?  Your odds of finding a study buddy, or someone who’s taken that exam before, exponentially increase the later into crunch time it gets.  Despite studies showing that cramming is not the way to learn – we aren’t trying to learn – we’re trying to memorize, for the duration of the next 24 hours.  And besides, if you actually went to lectures (ahem), you wouldn’t need to cram – you’ll merely spend the day refreshing your memory – no worries.

We all study as well as we can, desipte the professor’s cautionary tale that we will need to pledge a vow of undying loyalty to the library.  Perhaps for the simple reason that if you know how to study – what works for YOU – you don’t need an excess of words and a lack of sunshine for 2 weeks.   If you need absolute silence vs. soothing classical music, or the stiff desk chair vs. a squishy sofa, then so be it.  And if you have to spend 2 weeks vs. 2 hrs.  in the library, then do what helps you best.  Even if that includes a weekend trip to a foreign country 2 days before the exam.  (more on that later…) 

The ebb and flow of student life is marked by time.  Not the standard passing of time that the majority of the adult world operate in.  Students, as adults, lead life in their own unique time zone.  Where years last ‘nine months’ (who knew??), and an hour is ‘50 minutes’ (why does the world make everything shorter??), and weeks are defined by their weekends.  The cheapest cup of coffee, the cheapest flights, and the easiest profs define the life of a student.  And the world wonders why we operate differently – haven’t the world maps been updated?  There’s a new time zone now: College.

Pada:  21hb November 2009

Tempat:  Dewan Besar Ma’had Islam Brunei.

Jam:  0730 pagi.

Tetamu kehormat:  Yang Mulia Awg Hj Abdul Aziz bin Hj Akop, Pemangku Pengarah, Jabatan Hal Ehwal Syariah, Kementerian Hal Ehwal Ugama, Negara Brunei Darussalam.

Majlis ini adalah untuk penuntut-penuntut Thanawi 5 seramai 83 orang penuntut.

Setelah ketibaan tetamu kehormat yang di iringi dengan Nasyid Marhaban, majlis di mulakan dengan para peserta khatam naik ke atas pentas dengan di iringi bacaan salawat.  Selepas itu pula bacaan Surah Al Fatihah yang di ketuai oleh tetamu kehormat.  Di ikuti pula bacaan surah-surah dari penuntut khatam.

Bacaan Takhtim pula di bacakan oleh penuntut-penuntut Thanawi 4.  Manakala doa Khatam di bacakan oleh Hazwan bin Hj Salim.  Selepas itu Dikir Marhaban serta penyampaian sijil dan menabur bunga rampai di mulakan oleh Tetamu Kehormat, para jemputan khas dan seterusnya ibu/bapa penuntut.

Majlis pada pagi itu di sudahi dengan bacaan doa selamat oleh Ak Mohd Wafiuddin bin Pg Hj Zulkarnain.

Laporan dari Borneo Bulletin disini.

Shit – fuck. Can’t really decide what to do today. But that’s no new thing, I never know what to do. )

I guess I’ll have to choose between cooking my spicy meat-spaghetti, writing for college, writing fo’ my own pleasure, dancing like a freak drunk goose, taking some photos or editing the onez that I have and quietly wait in their folders. Hmm…it’s a long day, I guess I have enough time for all that crap.

Better be going now, otherwise I’m gonna fall asleep on my chair, and that’s not a shit to desire for.

I wish I had a car, doesn’t matter what car, but I would drive, drive, drive, until the end of Earth. d*_*b

See ya, my freakz… ^_^

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