My salami has a first name, it’s B-E-S-S-Y.

I’m a member of a group that has long suffered the bitter pill of discrimination. How is it–you may ask–that a white, heterosexual, suburban, graduate-educated male knows the foul taste of discrimination? I love meat, but my wife is a vegetarian.  This makes me a lonely omnivore.  When I go to the market, I can’t find meat packaged for my kind. No individual could cope with such quantities of meat as packaged by supermarkets. Well, that is besides those not averse to contracting colo-rectal cancer from the rotting carcass wedged in his transverse colon, e.g. Adam Richman.

One option–the healthy option–would be for me to go vegetarian. Did I mention that I love meat? I love bacon and beef and poultry and pork and rabbit and reindeer. I would eat meat on a boat. I would eat meat with a goat, and then I’d make a stew out of the goat. Cut off the beak and the bung, and you’ve got yourself a customer. You say you got horse meat in my beef? Sounds tasty. So option one is a nonstarter. I’m out of the omnivorous closet. I’m here; I eat steer; get used to it.

Another option is to find the store butcher and ask him to wrap me a solitary steak.  The problem is two-fold. First, the butcher is never just hanging out at the counter, and so there will be a PA announcement. In the 1950′s, before computers with Facebook and solitaire, the butcher would hang out at the counter, but now he’s in the back–presumably goofing off like 90% of the workforce. The announcement will be quick and neutral, but it will sound enough like the following to garner widespread attention, “Attention in the meat department, there’s a pathetic soul with no one to love him who needs steak for one, I repeat STEAK FOR ONE.” Then everyone in the store has to take a peak at the lonely omnivore. Don’t stare, Johnny, it’s just a hobo.

The second problem is that, while the butcher is smiling and polite, I know he is thinking, We have half a mile of prepackaged meat, and you really want me to take a break from my hectic schedule of playing solitaire in the back office to cut you one steak? Haven’t you heard of a nifty invention called a “freezer?” It should be located somewhere in the general vicinity of your refrigerator.   

The third option is, of course, the freezer. If you had any idea how disheveled my mind was, you wouldn’t even suggest this. Using the freezer would require that I anticipate that I will eat again in the future so that I can take the meat out to thaw. Here’s how it really works. I’m sitting here typing and think, That steak would really be good about now! However, presently it isn’t a steak, it’s a block of meatcicle. So I take it out of the freezer. I stare at it for a few minutes, hoping to use my ill-developed Superman-like powers of heat vision. Then I try running hot water on it, but it remains crystalline on the inside. Then I leave it and go back to typing. Then I check on it in three minutes. Then I go back to typing. Then I check on it after two minutes. Sensing the beef will never thaw, I break down and make myself some unsatisfying but filling Top Ramen. The next time I see the steak it’s a soggy and unappetizing lump hanging out in my sink.

Now if you’re an outline-and-note-card kind of writer, you may wonder how a writer could be so unskilled at planning. I’m not that kind of writer. If you haven’t guessed it, if it hasn’t shown through, I just make shit up as I go along. For me, writing is a process of paginated diarrhea, with an admittedly messy cleanup process.

My final option is to go to one of the huge “farmer’s markets” that we have in the area. (I use quotes because I’ve never seen an actual farmer there, and the food is as likely to be from Armenia as it is from Americus, Georgia.) These markets have heaped slabs of meat on ice, they’ll and cut it however one wants. I do this sometimes. There’s a very cool thing about these places. Because they serve such a diverse population, they hire a lot of immigrants.  However, while it’s cool that my butcher is a native Lao speaker, it can be problematic for me as a non-Lao-speaking English speaker. Inevitably, my desire for ONE PIECE of meat is translated into ONE KILO of meat or ONE CRATE of meat. I know, you’re saying that there’s one simple and obvious solution: learn the Lao language.  The problem is that the next time I go I might get the Urdu-speaking butcher.

I don’t like to complain about my plight [which is why I have a regular series of posts called TODAY'S RANT], but we should make room in our society for those of different meat needs.

When I started this blog:

Buford was four months shy of 13. To be honest, he is already living on borrowed time. For a basset hound he’s doing quite well.  He’s outlived his housemate, his siblings, and his neighbors. That is amazing on it’s own.  He looks a bit white in the face, but he runs, jumps, plays and is overall very healthy. People that don’t know how old he is guess about 8 or 9.   He doesn’t have trouble jumping up on the couch, and he takes nothing for arthritis except occasional glucosamine. I credit this to the mini doxies I have (Birdie age 5 above) and his boyfriend Weiner Schnitzel (age 5 as well.)

Buford is truly amazing.

Two weeks before Christmas in 2010, I lost my mother to colo-rectal cancer.  While still in shock, Buford was diagnosed with it also.  I looked in his face and asked my dog not to die because I really couldn’t handle anymore.   He underwent a surgery to remove the tumor and his anal glands in April 2011.

Initial diagnosis (Sonagram $440.00) , pre blood work, medicines, surgery ($1817) and follow up.   = $2800.00

He was living cancer free up until a few months ago with periodic six month sonagrams and regular old man visits.  $2000 over 18 months…

(Costs of  Sonagram $349 (recheck)and usual old man blood work $200)

His last sonogram was in August 2012 showing no regrowth. His blood tests were normal then as well, liver function, etc.   ($500.00 sonagram / recheck)

I did notice he was urinating a lot and drinking a lot. I knew he wasn’t himself.  Due to the fact these tests seemed fine, my vet tested him for Cushing’s Disease…which he did a blood panel and tested negative for.  ($400) So he was okay, right?  Maybe just old age and can’t hold his bladder. Note: He was going outside to pee, just would pee more often than usual, getting up about 2 times a night to go outside when he would normally sleep though.)

By December 2013 he was going outside three times a night.

In  January 2013 his blood tests came back perfect ($250) but the sonagram ($350) revealed the cancer had returned and was housed in two pelvic lymph nodes. I was in shock because it must have been hiding.

The lymph node which is usually 1c has grown to 3.5CM and obviously is pushing on the colon or intestine or something! This seems to be a direct link as to why he’s peeing so much.

NOW WHAT?

I’m supposed to sit and wait for my little friend to die? (I know, that’s what old dogs are supposed to do. The irony of it is, I hate cancer for taking my mom, so I’m determined to try to fight back.)

The regular vet tells me that this is a slow growing cancer and that although Buford is in overall good health not to do the chemo as that will surely kill him.  I investigated online and of course, there’s Coppers Journey. and numerous posts much like his.  I can’t put Buford though that.  To do that is to give me and him false hopes.

Chemo is the killer.

Cancer is the enemy.

I did some research. Everything I’ve read on line correlates lymph node cancer to lymphoma. The vet is not calling it that. Why not? I don’t know.  I personally don’t consider it slow growing if it’s went from 1 cm to 3.5 cm in a few months, do you?  Problem is, if you remove those nodes, the cancer quite possibly will spread elsewhere, to another place, more deadly.

I’m not in denial. My dog has cancer in his nodes and it’s only a matter of time before it spreads and this will kill him.

If I let it.

Damn you cancer. You must stop taking everyone I love. (grandfather, grandmother, mother, and now my dog? )

I think long and hard as to what my goal is and if I can realistically do it:

1. Make him as comfortable as possible.   YES I CAN!

2. Boost his system so when he does go, it’s not so hard on him. YES I CAN!

2. Don’t let the cancer kick his ass.   STEP BACK CANCER, YOU MUST STOP TAKING EVERYONE I LOVE.

That’s it. Very simple. To do this, I need some help…….

I read until my eyes hurt.

============Buford’s overall health is  now : shaky. He senses I’m a nervous wreck. He’s out eating grass and hasn’t had a solid bowel movement in two days. Hubby thinks he’s sick.  I am not just going to sit here. Time to move….

Bolton Surgical is attending Arab Health 2012 as part of the ABHI UK Pavilion (Stand 7D19), where they will be showcasing their  colo-rectal range of surgical instruments, which has been developed in conjunction with Europe’s leading colo-rectal surgeons.

Bolton Surgical manufactures theatre quality surgical instruments covering all disciplines of surgery and are the market leaders in the development of instruments for colo-rectal surgery. Bolton’s bring together traditional manufacturing methods with the technology you would expect from a market leader in surgical instrument supply, enabling them to provide a totally flexible service tailored to meet the differing and demanding needs of modern operating theatre and decontamination departments.

Steve Spurgin joined the company in 2011 as International Business Director:

“Bolton’s did in excess of £3 million in terms of business at Arab Health last year and appointed 8 new distributors in the region. From a solid base in the UK we are increasingly looking to expand our overseas presence in key markets such as the Gulf. This will be our 5th consecutive year at Arab Health so we are still a relatively new business in the Middle East

“Our main objectives for 2012 are to consolidate existing partnerships with Middle East distributors as well as reacquainting ourselves with some contacts in key countries such as Libya as it hopefully opens up for business again in the near future.”

The skills and dedication of the workforce ensure that the name Bolton Surgical is synonymous with quality products and British manufacturing and the company has been a member of the Guild of Master Craftsmen for many years. Products manufactured by Bolton Surgical are currently on display at The Royal College of Surgeons, The Pelican Centre in Basingstoke, and St. Marks Hospital in London.

Bolton Surgical has won the prestigious 2011 Middle East Hospital magazine’s Health & Innovation Award for Surgical Instruments and Outstanding Contribution to Healthcare in the Middle East. The award recognises Bolton’s recent success in growing its business across several middle eastern countries (notably Kuwait, Saudi Arabia and Egypt) over the past year, and will be presented at Arab Health.

Visit Bolton Surgical in the ABHI UK Pavilion at Arab Health on Stand 7D19

Contact: Steve Spurgin, International Sales Director   Tel: +44 (0)114 240 4400  steve@boltons.co.uk

www.boltons.co.uk

About Bolton Surgical

Bolton Surgical Ltd is a manufacturer and supplier of the finest quality surgical instruments and accessories for use within the modern theatre environment. The company has a large customer base of both NHS and private sector hospitals, clinics, and decontamination units throughout the UK. Bolton Surgical run a strict quality management system.  All products manufactured and supplied by Bolton Surgical comply in every respect with current quality standards, including compliance with the European Directive for Medical Devices and have been awarded the CE mark. The company is proud to be independent and is still owned and run by the Bolton family, continuing a tradition of manufacturing spanning many decades.

You can regain wellness, you can lose a ton of pounds and there are quite a very few other forms of colon cleansing benefits. When you select to clear your system, you have to remain away from junk foods since these will only construct up extra harmful toxins in your system.

What form of meals should you try to eat ?

An individual variety of colon cleansing foods is grains like whole grain sprouted breads, basmati rice, amaranth, quinoa but they have a tendency to cleanse your colon pretty slowly and gradually. You can not consume pasta for the duration of this period of time. If you don’t want to rely on herbal nutritional supplements and can find the money for to consume specialized food for very a lengthy time period, then you can opt for a raw food eating habits.

This means you really should take in contemporary veggies and fruits, preferably of the 100% natural selection, new juices built from these substances, raw grains, raw seeds and many others.

If you possess a strong digestive program, then you can get the help of vegetables to cleanse your colon. If your digestive method isn’t that sturdy, then I think the finest method would be to take in boiled veggies in a salad.

Then slowly but surely graduate to raw greens for lunch. By this time the enzymes will be at their strongest and potent most effective. Throughout supper you can consume cooked or steamed vegetables.

But of the meals are fresh fruits which you ought to consume in the early morning to boost their efficacy. And they are also quick to digest. And see to it that your fruit juices are residence designed and no cost from sugar.

The very best forms of colon cleansing foods are fibrous meals, salad greens, broccoli, spinach, and bran cereals, flax seed, and black berries, prune juice, prunes which will all improve the approach of waste elimination in your system.

You truly need to know anything about colon cleansing food items and herbs if you want to detoxify your system and clear it thoroughly. When you routinely do a cleansing, you can achieve far more vitality, you will delay aged age and can obtain access to the fountain of youth.

You can regain well being, you can drop a ton of excess weight and there are very a number of other varieties of colon cleansing positive aspects. When you pick to clear your physique, you have to stay absent from junk meals due to the fact these will only make up a lot more harmful toxins in your system.

colon cleansing

colon cleaning

We’re pretty much residing in a “junk foods nation” with small dietary price and just about zero fiber consumption (the colon needs a Great fiber diet plan consumption to sustain a wholesome function) cleansing colon

colon cleansing

Don’t get me wrong, the Susan G. Komen Foundation is a cause worthy of support that has saved the lives of uncounted women (and men) who developed breast cancer. Pink is their color. You see a crowd of adults in pink t-shirts somewhere and you think “Breast Cancer Awareness.”

I participated in several Susan G. Komen Jump for the Cause skydiving events flying airplanes for the women trying to set new world-records for women skydivers and raise funds for the foundation. “Save the Boobies” became the rallying slogan. Who could argue with that? Not me!

And where cancer is concerned, what better marketing device is there than boobies? Boobies are cute—boobies are distinctive, and everyone likes boobies. Guys like them, girls like them, my gay brother appreciates a nice set of boobies. One could hardly ask for a more universally appreciated marketing hook to get people talking about and doing something to cure cancer. But cancer doesn’t limit itself to boobies.

I guess watching Brett Favre and the Minnesota Vikings getting trounced by the New York Jets is fueling this particular rant, but I do have a point to make. The pink shoes and towels and chin cups and sweat bands are distracting. I’m surprised the defensive coaches even allow linemen to wear pink gloves. More than one holding and pass interference flag got tossed over the weekend because the neon pink gloves betrayed a foul that might have slipped by a referee except for the high-contrast apparel. Pink penalty flags might work, but pink just isn’t an NFL Football color.

There is great risk that I shall be accused of misogyny or of having a macho jock attitude for writing this post. To accuse me so would be unjust. I am simply not those things and those who know me would confirm my declaration, but I may not be fully channeling my sensitive feminine side while watching football.

I grew up watching NFL Football with my mom and dad. Several times every season we drove hundreds of miles to see the Vikings play at the old Metropolitan Stadium in Minneapolis, or over to Wisconsin to see the Green Bay Packers. No one in my family, including me, has ever been able to quote team statistics or obscure football trivia, but we enjoy watching a good game. For years after I moved to the Southwest and before my father retired from medicine, he would schedule his ongoing medical education classes in Phoenix, Las Vegas or San Diego so we could get together and watch the Superbowl. We are fans, but not fanatics.

Here’s the thing; cancer doesn’t discriminate and neither should the research for cures or the fundraising for the research. But prostate glands, colons and rectums, livers and pancreases just aren’t cute like boobies. It doesn’t matter what color you associate with various internal organs where terminal cancers originate, they are not cute. Other cancerous organs don’t generate empathy like boobies do.

I know several breast cancer survivors, and a few who did not, but a number of my friends have also survived (or not) prostate, lung, liver and colo-rectal cancers. Get lung cancer and many will assume you deserved it because you smoked, and most people don’t even want to talk about prostates and colons—hell, a segment of American society was scarred for life over breakfast when Katie Couric televised her colonoscopy live after her husband died from the disease. It was for a good cause, but some publicity ploys just don’t work as well as boobies.

By all means visit the Susan G. Komen Foundation website and donate what you can to raise awareness about detecting and curing breast cancer, and do consider donating to find cures for the other kinds of cancer and how to detect them early when cures are most effective, but please—no more pink in the NFL—it just ain’t right.