With the NBA season already started, Pickyrpoison has decided to make things a bit more interesting. Thus, we compiled a few NBA personalities and their celebrity counterparts. Let us know what you think!

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Robert Horry / Will Smith

Pharell Williams / Caron Butler

Steve Nash / James Blunt

Kyle Korver / Ashton Kutcher

Corey Magette / Xzibit

Stan van Gundy / Ron Jeremy

E.T. / Sam Cassell

Andrew Bynum / Tracy Morgan

Chris Brown / Shannon Brown (coincidence? hmm)

Finesse Mitchell / Derek Fisher

Phil Jackson / Colonel Sanders

As it’s Wednesday and I’m feeling the work week pretty heavily, I’ve decided to lift today’s post directly from Rolling Stone Magazine’s useful and informative “Random Notes ” section. If you want to know which pop tart du jour received an award from the  American Association of Condiment Retailers, hit the clubs with Colonel Sanders, or was inducted into the Fast Food Vat of Bilge, RS’ “Random Notes” has got you covered like a greasy napkin. The following photos and text are all Rolling Stone’s. Look. Read. Learn. Better yourself.

“Rihanna receives a special cake made in honor of her new LP Rated R from the Quiznos Rat at the Juliet in New York City on November 24, 2009.”

“Jennifer Lopez takes flight with a little help from Grimace during rehearsals for the American Music Awards in Los Angeles on November 19, 2009.”

“U2 perform with the Burger King at a concert for the MTV European Music Awards in front of the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin, Germany, on November 5, 2009.”

“Mariah Carey grabs some assistance from Dominos’ Noid during a shoot in Malibu, California, on November 4, 2009.”

“Lady Gaga, Adam Lambert and Mayor McCheese sit down with Barbara Walters as three of “2009’s Most Fascinating People” airing on ABC on December 9, 2009.”

“Ashlee Simpson gets a hand from the Colonel as she makes her Broadway debut in “Chicago” at the Ambassador Theatre in New York City on November 30, 2009.”

Every Wednesday, from today until the end of time, my close friend and bitter foe Mad Adam is going to stop by and attempt to clarify his delusions of grandeur, dominance, and defeatism. He’s very complex. And, as you’ll soon find out, most of what he has to say comes out of his ass, but man, is he angry! And I’m not talking the kind of angry that can be aptly expressed with all caps and exclamation marks, or even simple declarations of anger… you’ll have to use your imagination a little. Picture the bright red face. Picture the popping veins. Picture the holes in the wall, the shattered remotes, the hospitalized “friends”. Now, multiply it by 386. That gets you halfway there. But here, we’ll let him explain it…

Hello everyone.  Allow me to introduce myself.  My name is Mad Adam.  That’s right, not Mad Hatter (Les Miles), Mad Max (Mel Gibson) or Mad Men (those booze swilling cats at Sterling Cooper).  No, just Mad Adam.

Why Mad Adam?  First, I have an anger control problem. This is particularly true when it comes to my sports teams.  I get mad when they let me down.  I get mad when they get screwed over.  I sometimes get mad even when things are going well. What can I say….I’m Mad Adam.  As a bonus, my name is a palindrome.  Don’t know that is? Look it up loser.  And while you are at it, send some hate mail to your language teachers who obviously let you down.

Now that I have revealed that much of my anger is centered on my favorite teams, I better let you in on who those teams are.  Warning, I grew up as a military brat, so I never stayed in a place long enough to pick a team based on geography.  So, I have a pretty disparate set of favorite teams (with the exception of my college team which is clearly a result of the totally awesome education I received at the undergraduate and law schools of the institution listed below).  So, in no particular order, here are the teams that matter most to me: New York Jets (last Super Bowl….1969, the roots of my anger begin to surface); Los Angeles Dodgers; Los Angeles Lakers; Manchester City Citizens (EPL soccer you morons); and of course, my beloved OU Sooners.  Looking for a hockey team?  Go (ice) fish.  Not a fun game to watch on TV.

My proclivity for temper tantrums does not end with my favorite teams.  I also get mad about betting on sports (i.e. placing bad bets, not the act of betting on sports which I am very much in favor of), bad calls, terrible commentators, incomprehensible TV twists, bad uniforms, those who don’t appreciate good music, politics, stupid fans, silly traditions, inane rules….you get the idea.  I am Mad Adam.

The gracious, yet logic deficient Ed Honcho, has asked that I occasionally drop by this site and let all of you know what I am currently mad about.  I appreciate the forum and the opportunity to vent.  I would be remiss if I did not kick things off with a mailbag devoted to my legions of fans and their questions.  So, without further ado, away we go…..

Q: Did you see the Patriots throw a deep pass with only 30 seconds to go this past weekend when they were up 31 – 14 on the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets? How did that make you feel? Cuz, I will tell you how it made me feel.  It made me feel like punching Tom Brady in his pretty face and defecating on Bill Belichik’s car.

- Francis Anastasio, Elizabeth, New Jersey

A: Francis, or can I call you Frank? No? OK. Francis, you could not be more right (except the part about shitting on his car, which is a tad bit weird). Not since Michael Bay decided to have “ghetto” robots in the newest Transformers movie have I seen such a brash and uncalled for decision.

What is he hoping to accomplish?  By kicking the Jets when they are down, does he hope to draw attention away from the most colossal coaching mistake in his career from the week prior against the Colts? By allowing a long pass to Randy Moss did he hope to show that Moss does in fact own Darrelle Revis? (if so, too bad, because Moss turned in a pedestrian 5 catches for 34 yards against my boy Revis).

Or is this just one more bully move by a guy that thinks he is God, but is in fact still the same a-hole that could not turn around the Browns and WHO WALKED OUT ON THE JETS IN 1999 A DAY AFTER TAKING THE HEAD COACHING JOB? What a loser. I HATE that guy. And, I really hate those spy-gate cheating, pretty boy Pats(ies).

Q: How are you feeling about the Lakers so far?

- Bonita Benson, Culver City, California

A: In a word….AWESOME.  So far, Khlomar has not been a distraction.  The return of Gasol has transformed the team.  Ron Artest is playing within the system and has not punched Nicholson in the face on his way down the court yet. And Kobe? Well, he is busy doing work.

Since the Lakers’ Western Conference coronation is all but assured, let’s turn to the more important issue.  Will those turd burgers from Boston make an appearance and get the whupping they deserved two years ago? As of this writing they are 10-4, and look pretty good (for a team in puke green adorned with a picture of a leprechaun sporting a vest, hat and bow-tie covered in freaking shamrocks).  I don’t want another beat-down on Orlando.  I want Ray Allen, Paul Pierce and “look at me I am yelling a lot, I must be really intense” Kevin Garnett to face the music like they did in 1985 and 1987 when Magic and crew beat Bird and his brigade of losers (like Kevin “the Armpits” McHale and Robert “Reefer” Parrish). SCREW THE CELTICS!

Q: When are you going to talk about the Sooners? Texas Tech destroyed Stoops and company and the crowd turned the House of Pain “Jump Around” into an anti-Sooner anthem.  And, don’t forget Capel’s b-ball team that got rocked by the VCU Rams, his former team.  Seriously, did you jump off a cliff this weekend?

- Rusty Jackson, Texhoma, Texas

A: I am typing out this response from the rather large ravine that I did indeed toss myself into after the collective DUMP THAT OU TOOK ON ME THIS WEEKEND.  This is the kind of showing that makes you want to give up sports.

That raises the issue.  Is it possible to really give up on your favorite team?  I say no.  The first time I ever tried to do it was when I was 8 years old and the Dodgers were on a serious losing streak. I declared that I was no longer a fan of Dodger blue and tried to become a Cincinnati Reds fan.  However, each morning when I would look through the box scores in the local paper I found my gaze straying from the Reds to find out what the Dodgers had done the night before. The reason?  If you are a true fan, you can NEVER give up on your team.  Even when they TEAR OUT YOUR HEART, LIKE OU DID TO ME THIS WEEKEND.

Did I kinda avoid answering your questions Rusty? You bet. Stay tuned, though, because if those goat loving, tobacco chewing troglodytes from Stillwater win Bedlam this weekend, then I may have to dedicate an entire column to how FREAKING BAD THIS OU FOOTBALL SEASON HAS REALLY BEEN.

Q: So, how about Les Miles and his clock management skills?

- Earl Papadeaux, Natchez, Louisiana

A: Oh, how I detest Les Miles.  What an overrated, egotistical, arrogant insipid little man crowned with an ill-fitting hat. How many times must he do something like this before Tiger Nation rises up and says enough is enough.  The LSU school newspaper, “The Daily Reveille” is calling for the firing of offensive coordinator Gary Crowton over this debacle.

First, “The Daily Reveille,” really? I had to look up “reveille” to even know what the students there are referencing.  It is a bugle call associated with the military.  So, the newspaper is a daily bugle call.   Whatever.

Second, firing the offensive coordinator is completely missing the point.  Did anyone see Les Miles’ patented “deer in headlights” look as the precious seconds ticked away in the game against Ole Miss? He was befuddled, bamboozled and flummoxed all at the same time. This man could not coach his way out of a paper bag when decisions that are tougher than what to eat after the game are on the line.  Speaking of food…

Q: Don’t you think that Mark Mangino is just mean, mean, mean!

- Dolores Bitterbottom, Mulberry, Kansas

A: Look, I have had my share of crude talking insensitive coaches.  Heck, it is really part of the job description as far as I can tell.  Reminds me of a funny story.  Ed Honcho and I used to have a baseball coach that referred to him as “Colonel Sanders” because he was too “chicken” to get down on the ball when fielding grounders in practice.  That was funny. What Mangino (allegedly) has been doing?  Not cool.

When a college student confides in a coach about his alcoholic father, that should remain between him and the coach. Same thing with a player that tells coach about his brother getting shot in the neighborhood he grew up in .  To use that information against the players is the sign of a man that has lost touch with reality.  He is not breaking players down and then building them up.  He is just breaking them.

While we are on the subject, I am wondering if any Jayhawk ever gave it back to the coach? In case they have not, and current Jayhawks are looking for some ideas, here is my humble proposal for a dialogue with Mangino:

Mangino – “Hey, stop loafing WR!  You keep that up and you will wind up on welfare and turning tricks in an alley for crack cocaine like that story about your mom you shared with me in a closed door meeting the other day.”

WR – “Hey Coach.  Here’s a thought.  Maybe you should drop your daily caloric intake by, I don’t know, maybe 40,000 calories.  Seriously, do you really need that entire rack of ribs to go with your 22 ounce steak, double cheese-burger and fried okra covered in brown gravy?  I’m just looking out for you.  Well, I am also looking out for the players that keep getting hit by one of your 17 chins when you move suddenly on the sideline.”

Q: How about Jimmy Clausen getting cold-cocked by an angry Irish fan at local bar?

- Gaye Barr, Elkhart, Indiana

A: This had to be the first time anything associated with the Irish was on target this whole season.  My only question is why not track down and punch Charlie Weis?  The guy is pushing 3 bills and his knees are shot.  There is no way he could get away quickly enough to avoid a total pummeling. (please note that Mad Adam, while prone to fits of anger, does not condone nor promote violence against athletes and/or coaches….you know, unless they really deserve it).

Q: As an unabashed fan of front-running, big money teams like the Lakers and Sooners, is it any surprise that you’ve recently declared yourself a Manchester City fan? And even though you’ll do your best to spin the answer, it’s mostly rhetorical, as the indisputable answer is “no.”

- Ed Honcho, Sunbathing on the French Riviera

A: Nice try Ed.  You are clearly trying to bait me into a fit of rage.  However, unlike Tila Tequila, I am not that easy.  You see, what you are failing to tell our readers is that it is “undisputable” that I became a fan of the Blues prior to September 2008 when Man City was purchased by the Abu Dhabi United Group, making it the wealthiest club in the world.

Which means that I became a fan of Man City, a team that has not won silverware since 1976, before this fortuitous twist transformed them into the Champions League chasing team they are today.  So, SUCK IT ED.  Seriously.

Q: Is it true that you’ve been in the same fantasy football league for almost 20 years and never won?

- Bjorn Bjornssen, Hammerfest, Norway

A: Bjorn, now I am starting to get pissed.  Your “source” is mistaken.  Allow me to provide you a history lesson. Yes, I have been in the same fantasy football league since 1988.  In fact, Ed Honcho, myself and friends may have indeed invented fantasy football.

No, it is NOT true that I have failed to ever be crowned champion.  My team has a long and storied history.  I consistently make the playoffs, and I have been in not one, not two, but THREE championship games.  Several years ago Ed Honcho and I squared off in the championship game.  The game ended in a tie according to an on-line fantasy sports site that will not be named.  Incredibly, after nearly two decades of fantasy sports our collective group had never devised a tie-breaker scenario.  So, we declared a tie and the championship was split between Mad Adam and Ed Honcho.

Now things get interesting.  Approximately 6 months later, one of our friends and fellow fantasy owner, we will call him “ass-wipe,” decided to peruse the web-site because he had nothing better to do.  He was surprised to see that the CRAPPY, STUPID AND PROFESSIONALLY NEGLIGENT web-site that shall not be named had changed the score for Jeff Garcia (my starting QB at the time) by one measly STUPID point.  Ass-wipe decides to share this information with the league.  The result? Years of bickering and a COMPLETELY FALSE AND WHOLLY UNSUBSTANTIATED CLAIM of an undisputed and sole championship by Ed.

Many of you may ask, and rightly so, how in the world can you change the score of a fantasy sports championship MONTHS after the fact?  Isn’t that like tuning in for the Super Bowl and watching the Pats lose to the Giants, only to find out the following summer that the NFL had changed its mind and declared that the David Tyree “helmet catch” was an incompletion and the Pats actually won?  Good point.  And Bjorn, you no fantasy knowledge having dude from Hammerfest, did you stop to ask what would have happened if we applied the tie-breaking rules we have today?  No? Well, let me tell you what would have happened. I WOULD HAVE WON.  And, what would have happened if we played the next week (since we tabulated the points just to see)?….wait for it….that’s right….. I WOULD HAVE WON.

Dammit.  Now my blood pressure is though the roof.  Bjorn, I am sure you can see from the foregoing synopsis that in fact I DID WIN A FREAKING CHAMPIONSHIP.  And, if you don’t agree with me then you CAN JUST ENJOY YOUR CITY WHICH REEKS OF REINDEER MANURE.  That’s right, I said it.

Q: Why so angry? Childhood trauma? Life stacked against you? What?

- Adolfo Ocampo, Ushuaia, Argentina

A: As I am sure you can see from the questions posed by some ingrates above, as well as the other stupid topics that got me riled up, there are plenty of reasons I am angry.  SO, STICK YOUR POP PSYCHOLOGY UP YOUR ASS ADOLFO.  I will be sure to call if I ever need your attention.  Don’t hold your breath in the meantime.

Thank you loyal readers.  Until next time, keep watching sports and DON’T PISS ME OFF!!!

Did you know most people stumble upon Foxy Academy looking for Jason Mraz above anyone else? Who knew he was so in demand? In fact, this site received one of its very first visits because someone typed in “jason mraz penis” in a search engine. We couldn’t ask for more.

To our amusement, Foxy Academy has appeared as a result in the following Web searches:

• Aladdin (This is surprisingly drags in a large quantity of viewers)
• Pizza (This is too!)
• Jason Mraz underwear
• Josh Hartnett shirtless (I don’t blame you.)
• Hot dudes (What Foxy Academy was founded on.)
• Does Danny Masterson smoke weed? (Good question.)
• Does Jason Mraz have a boyfriend? (Another good one!)
• Kill the Beast (Must you?)
• Colonel Sanders full body (Not sure we want to know. Okay, yes, we do.)
• Jim Halpert friend zone (We’ll show you our friend zone for Jim Halpert.)
• A good lay (Also what Foxy Academy was founded on.)

When photos emerged recently of KFC’s famous but dead, brand ambassador, Colonel Sanders, shaking hands with President of the UN General Assembly Ali Treki, you could have been forgiven for thinking that the international peace and security organisation may have been getting in to the Halloween spirit a couple of days early.

Or, more likely, that this was yet another prank by a media outlet to see if they could breach some of the tightest security in the world.

Remember the Osama Bin Laden look alike who was mistakenly granted access to the APEC summit? Or the “Fake Sheikh” saga created by News of the World?.

What I didn’t expect was that this elaborate stunt was masterminded by the KFC brand itself.

Why did KFC do it? As part of the fast-food giant’s attempts to promote its new menu range, KFC decided it would be a great PR idea to lobby the UN for the fictional ‘Grilled Nation’ to be accepted as a member state.

I am all in favour of PR stunts to help draw attention to a cause or campaign.

Done in the right way, they can increase awareness and provide that vital chat-factor many initiatives need to grab headlines.  And this stunt undoubtedly got headlines.  Consequently, it did succeed in drawing attention to the brand’s new menu – and no doubt KFC’s PR agency will claim a victory on that basis. 

Morally however, you could argue this PR stunt crosses the fine line between funny and offensive.

Taking on an organisation like the UN tasked with saving lives and promoting humanitarian efforts around the world and involving it in a PR stunt for pure commercial purposes could be seen as demonstrating a serious lack of respect for what the UN does and what it’s set up to achieve.

It’s akin to using an Amnesty International conference as a forum for a bed manufacturer to push everybody’s right to a good night’s sleep… Borderline appropriate.

This stunt would have worked had the platform or target been different.

Even a spoof campaign lobbying the government or a Member of Parliament would have succeeded in drawing attention to the campaign in a non-cringe worthy way.

KFC and its agency needs to remember that when it comes to PR stunts, conscience should win out over commerce.

RE: Lets get the Colonel involved

As a loyal customer I have had enough. And by loyal I mean when I’m in a food court and the lineup for Subway is too long and the people I’m with want KFC. When I finally make my way to the counter and place my order I am left waiting for my meal, not just any old wait, we are talking 4+ minutes. Let it be known that I never order anything out of the ordinary, perhaps chips and a potato & gravy, my acquaintances may order a Zinger burger or 3 piece feed. So my question is: what are you guys doing back there? Making lasagna? Because you should really quit this deception and rebrand yourselves as KFL then. It seems to me that when someone orders a chicken-themed meal you guys are all “oh crap, another chicken order. Better go out back and dig some up - if it was pasta sheets with meat and cheese then we’d be set.”

You’re probably thinking “4 minutes? What is this bloke on about? If you go to a restaurant you usually have to wait up to 20 minutes for your order. In the time we take to prepare your order, we ensure staff are making it fresh so that you leave satisfied. You are complaining as if someone urinated in your meal.”
You present a very compelling argument. Firstly, I pay a premium at restaurants so they can take their time and inject a little extra love in my meal. I pay you guys $4.80 to get the shit to me ASAP so I can eat and run and hopefully make it to Target before it closes. As far as the pee is concerned, know this: I will take a little pee in my food if it means my meal will get to me quickly. They say urine is chock-full of nutrients so you’d actually be doing me a favour – think of it as a fried Boost Juice.

Do you want my personal opinion? Don’t answer that, because here it comes: I think it’s been a slippery slope since you became KFC. I say get back to your roots and rename yourselves Kentucky Fried Chicken. Anyone with a semi-functioning brain is aware that you put all food, drinks, straws and napkins in a plastic bag, fry it all as one and then serve it up. Which explains why even my Mountain Dew tastes like pure obesity.

What would the Colonel say about all of this? He was a man of honour, integrity and he had a rockin’ mo. I am fairly certain he would not stand idly by whilst a loyal customer declared they would rather consume urine than wait for their meal. He would set the wheels in motion by issuing a memo to all employees telling them to hurry the fuck up and produce food already! He would then send me a few complimentary meal vouchers.

Listen to the Colonel. He is very wise. He’s knows I’m tight with ACA – I pitched a story to them once (I got no response) and I’m due to pitch another.

http://www.kfc.com.au/about-us/contact-us.asp Sent 10/11/09

Greetings Shirleyphiles and welcome to another 40 minutes or so of low-fi lovliness!

Time for a second serving Shirleyphiles, of a show we posted couple of years back – “Please laShirl, Can I Have Some More?” While the manservant is twiddling around with a new show, I hope this repeat keeps your appetite for low-fi lovliness sated. Its one of our favourite dishes.

Now I’m no Margaret Fulton or Nigella Lawson when it comes to tossing it up big time in the kitchen department, but mr.Kenneth has a bit of the Jamie Oliver in him when the fancy takes him. And that certain kind of fancy takes him often … but we’ll leave that for another show, shall we?

The manservant been known to have a whole dinner party contingent on the floor squealing with delight after sampling one of his “special” desserts. Apparently he came across the recipe in “The Alice B. Toklas Cookbook”. Do I need to say anymore? I learned my lesson long ago and dare not put so much as a crumb of these after dinner treats near my lips. I just sashay over to the bar, as usual, mix myself another Harvey Wallbanger, sit back with a cigar and count the car keys as they get thrown into the fruitbowl.

Its a very mixed bag in this show, kind of like a musical stir fry with The Tubes, Herb Alpert, Terri “Cupcake” O’Mason, Vincent Price, Deee-Lite, Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan, Duran Duran, Sly Stone, Ella Mae Morse, Eydie Gormé and other tasty musical morsels more or less all ending sunnyside up in the pan!

So kids, it’s time to strap on the aprons … you don’t want too much mess in the kitchen now do you … get out the beaters and prepare yourself to wrap your luscious lips around the mixing bowl with the Sunbeam mixmasters of lurve, yours truly and mr.Kenneth!

Until next time, take absolute care, play fair and don’t forget to eat your crusts!
They’ve put hairs on Shirl’s chest … no kidding!

*be smooched*
laShirl and mr. Kenneth

DOWNLOAD .mp3 (17mb) | STREAM via realplayer.

If you need the player, download here

Voilà une nouvelle qui devrait donner espoir aux millions de grolandais de coeur ! Le colonel Sanders, symbole de la chaine de fast-food KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) milite actuellement auprès des instances internationales pour la création d’un nouveau pays : Grilled Nation.

Après avoir adressé une lettre à Ban Ki-Moon (secrétaire général), le colonel a réussi à pénétrer dans le siège de l’ONU et serrer la pince du président de l’assemblée générale de l’ONU.

L’idée publicitaire ne manque pas de piquant. Dommage que Grilled Nation ne soit qu’un nouveau menu…

Que dire en outre des risques encourus par la marque au sein d’une instance luttant – entre autre – contre la faim dans le monde…

On espère que le colonel a parallèlement prévu de graisser la pattes des autorités via un large plan humanitaire.

Il est également frappant de noter à quel point les marques fortes ne se contentent plus de communiquer et fédérer des communautés on et offline. Elles veulent aller plus loin. Le média suprême : une patrie, un territoire de marque au sens propre (les analogies sémantiques entre terre et marque ne manquent pas, elles feront l’objet d’un post…).

Domino’s Pizza bâtit une ville catholique. KFC opte pour un pays. Burné.

Source : Quiet Glover

À l’ordre du jour: je dois me trouver un booker. Je n’ai pas d’album, pas encore beaucoup de chansons de sorties ( quoi que les prochains mois risquent d’être surchargés de ma personne dans vos iPod ) mais je veux un booker. Parce qu’avoir un booker c’est cool. Et que pleins de dudes veulent me faire des sets sur leur show ( j’parles comme une vrai p’tite emcee ) et que moi j’suis comme ” Oui OK parce que la salle est cool pis que je vais gosser le patron pour avoir des conso gratuites ” ou ” Fuck off gros lard t’es trop laid pour que je me montre en public ( ou même backstage ) en ta compagnie ” pis que mon booker, lui, aurait définitivement de meilleures arguments que moi. Pis aussi parce que mon booker va pouvoir me booker des soirées spectacles où je pourrais genre… lire mes œuvres devant des mordus de littérature pis parler de ma vie en demandant l’opinion du public sur mes problèmes personnelles pis les faire payer pour jouer au psychologue avec moi.

Mon booker va pouvoir demander que j’aie une loge pis du torche-cul rose. Pis il va définitivement demander plus cher que moi quand on va me demander d’être sur un show pis que l’organisateur va être cute, parce que mon booker sera hétérosexuel et pleins de tattoos pour bien faire comprendre au monde qu’il est hétérosexuel. Le soir, je vais appeller mon booker pour lui raconter ma journée. Et mon booker va me dire ” OK, tayeule pis va écrire une toune “. Mon booker va me mettre sur plein de shows avec des artistes trop cool et moi je vais faire comme si ça ne m’impressionnait pas et je vais dire à Céline Dion qu’elle est tout juste assez big pour que je fasses sa première partie. Anyway, assez parlé de mon booker, parlons de moi plutôt.

Cette semaine j’ai dominé un homme. J’ai bien gonflé mon chest pour l’intimider, j’ai monté mon menton et j’ai ouvert les yeux comme Jean-Luc Mongrain quand il est fâché.

Je vous jure mesdames que pour l’estime de soit, il n’y a pas mieux! Les hommes ont une fâcheuse tendance à ” tripper ” sur les femmes fortes et décidée… Bon je sais que je vais frustrée quelques féministes qui se battent depuis des années pour obtenir cette admiration des hommes envers celles qui ont de l’ambition et qui savent tout faire avec tout, mais pour vrai, ça me déçoit un peu! Je suis du genre femme décidée, qui sait ce qu’elle veut et qui a de l’ambition à revendre, et pleins de beaux projets et tout… mais j’ai quand même envie de revenir chez moi le soir et de pouvoir me plaindre un peu! C’est dans notre nature féminine! Le gars répare le lavabo, la fille pleure en écoutant Place Melrose! Qu’est-ce que NOUS, femmes allons devenir si on fait fuir les hommes en se plaignant d’avoir des grosses fesses dans nos vieux jeans parce que messieurs attendent de nous que l’on s’hymne soit-même? Bien sûre c’est beaucoup moins de travail pour l’homme qui n’a plus à faire d’effort dans ses relations de couple pour faire sentir sa chérie ” femme “, puisqu’il lui laisse le contrat de le faire elle-même, mais avons nous en plus besoin d’inverser les rôles et de réconforter nos hommes lorsqu’ils écoutent Sophie Paquin? Moi, j’ai envie d’un homme qui répare le char quand on reste en ” stract ” sur l’autoroute pendant que je survole la clé USB bien au chaud dans l’auto en essayant de déceler le nombre de fois qu’il sacre en silence parce que le joint du moteur de l’ailleront arrière touche à l’huile du rotoploplo. J’ai envie d’un homme qui va m’offrir des fleures et un souper aux chandelles parce qu’il va avoir remarqué que j’ai encerclé une certaine date sur mon calendrier en craignant que ce soit celle de mes SPM’s. J’ai envie d’un homme qui ne comprendra pas trop pourquoi je pleures en écoutant One Tree Hill mais qui va dont me trouver cute et fermer sa yeule même s’il a trop envie de switcher au hockey. Bref, j’ai envie de pouvoir continuer à être une petite fille cute et sweet avec mon chum et non de jouer à la maman et de devoir l’envoyer dans sa chambre et le consoler quand MOI j’ai envie d’écouter le hockey. ” Dans mon livre à moé ” la femme restera femme pis l’homme va continuer à avoir du poil dans la face.

Ainsi, en replaçant Monsieur X à sa place en lui lançant ses quatre vérités par la tête, j’ai eu l’impression de pouvoir reprendre mon rôle respectif. Il a eu comme premier réflex de baisser la tête et de courber le dos en regardant le sol puis s’est redressi, ma regardé dans les yeux et a fait la plus belle p’tite face cute de gars ” EN TABARNAK ” de se faire rassir par une fille. Et j’insiste sur le ” En tabarnak ” parce qu’un gars juste ” frustré ” c’est fif pis ça parle de ses émotions.
Par contre comme je le disais un peu plus haut, c’était bien pour mon estime. Monsieur X semblait croire que je n’avais ni personnalité, ni caractère parce que je suis douce et délicate avec lui ( sauf dans mes SPM, mais les hommes ne croient plus au fameux regain d’hormones de la semaine rouge, ils croient juste qu’on est folles pis qu’on se sert de ça comme excuse pour expliquer le fait qu’on est euh… ben.. folles. ) et que j’agis comme une fille devrait agir. Comme ça, j’ai assouvi ses fantasmes d’être avec une femme forte, je lui ai presque fait croire qu’il portait un soutient-gorge et que j’avais une pomme d’Adam et je lui ai fait réalisé qu’il n’était pas du tout à l’aise avec ma brassière et mon G puisque de toute façon, il n’a même pas de boules. Tout est bien qui fini bien, quoi que Monsieur X ne m’intéresse plus du tout depuis que je l’ai dominé d’un simple regard méchant. D’ailleurs, maintenant je suis avec un homme qui ressemble à un Jock pis qui a du poil sur le chest ( hehehehe… le dude qui se rase le poil de torse…you know whuuuut i mean??? ). Pis il est cute. Pis il fait de la musique. Pis… il ne prend pas de cours de natation. C’est tout nouveau. C’est l’homme de ma vie depuis peu. Pis… attendez moi, j’dois lâcher un call à Herby Moreau pour lui demander de faire un article sur nous dans le Star Système avec moi assise sur ses genoux avec ma main sur sa joue et un regard amoureux! Well, done!

Dernier sujet ardent de la semaine ( Bonne et heureuse semaine, Always! ), le monde est crissement cave. Coup de marketing, j’ai décidée d’annoncer en primeur sur facebook que j’étais enceinte de trois jours. Comme… moi, y’a trois jours, j’ai fais l’amour avec le cousin du voisin de l’oncle du Colonel Sanders, trois jours plus tard, POUF! Je suis enceinte et bedonnante. Réaction suscitée? ILS Y ONT CRU!!!! J’étais totalement stupéfaite de voir qu’autant de personnes ont buffé leur cours de bio au secondaire. J’veux bien croire en la technologie de ” Première réponse ” mais là… COME ON!!!!!!!! Touuuut y est passé! ” Félicitation! ” ” De qui? ” ” Ben voyons je ne savais pas que tu avais un chum ” ” Comment tu te sens? “… Bref, le quotient moyen des répondants de la demande d’interaction que j’ai lancé était dangereusement bas! On s’en và où? On me reproche de bien m’exprimer, on croit au fait qu’une femme puisse être enceinte de trois jours pis personne n’a encore compris que Jean Charest est un personnage à même titre qu’Homer Simpson et qu’il ne faut pas voter pour lui aux élections! Je me sens presque discrédité dans mon rôle de femme intelligente, alors je vais boire un vodka/redbull, j’vais me vernir les ongles en écoutant Virginie et ensuite je sors au Millenium habillée comme les 761 autres filles dans la place en sentant que je me démarque trop avec mes bijoux Caroline Néron et le Lady Gaga que j’ai dans mon iPod! Bonne soirée!

Ps: Je sais que probablement plusieurs de mes lecteurs font parti de la catégorie « On est cave mais on le sait pas » mais laissez-moi s.v.p vous avisez de ne PAS cliquer sur ce genre de publicité où la compagnie n’a même pas pris le temps d’insérer le bon déterminant dans son annonce ( UNE vieux truc???? )…

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Something not funny is how ridiculously hot Tricia Helfer is. Almost makes me regret missing Battlestar Whatever.

The internet is making us all comedians. The only problem is that I’m less funny on the internet than in person and on radio. (Washington Post)

Case in point for the above: With Halloween around the corner, it was only appropriate that Colonel Sanders rose from the grave to visit the United Nations. (Daily Telegraph)

If you’re a Chicago Bears fan, I’d take this as a sign that you should be begging Roger Goodell to void the summer’s big trade. (Tremendous Upside)

After the jump, hockey in England, screwing sports folks, and in some good and bad driving.

A great read about an ex-NHLer who bounced around the minors until he ended up in England. (BBC)

Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder has taken his ball and gone home. In the name of “safety,” the Redskins have banned signs from home games… Mostly because they’re anti-Snyder signs. (DC Sports Bog)

The World Series starts tonight in the Bronx. If you’re planning on going, I would be careful picking where you walk. (New York Times)

We all like to dream that we win the big cash giveaway at the big game. On the other side of the dough, the insurance company underwriting the contest is dreaming up ways to screw you. (St. Pete Times)

Speaking of getting screwed, a high school cross country was screwed by a dumb clothing rule. I guess white stitching on dark shorts is distracting for everyone looking behind them. (Deadspin)

And keeping with Deadspin, they’ve had some fun over the last few days. They’re being sued and there was that whole fun with ESPN. (Time)

My hometown junior hockey team, the Soo Greyhounds, made the news. For what I call the right reasons but others think it’s a bit of a violent disgrace. (Total Pro Sports) And is it just me or is this guy better with his cell phone camera than most of TSN’s pro guys with HD cameras.

Keeping with hockey, here’s a look at some of the early trends in the NHL’s attendance. Fortunately, less people are going to Make Believes games. They’re finally learning. (From The Rink)

On an old episode of the radio show, I mentioned that I wasn’t a fan of Chris Cornell’s latest album. Without Timbaland producing, it’s actually pretty good. (Explore Music)

Today’s photo gallery brings us to tonight’s kickoff of the World Series. And what’s better to kick off the Fall Classic than a separated at birth photo gallery. (Sports Illustrated)

Super slow-motion makes everything look cooler. Add music and you have an awesome montage.

And here I thought that BMW’s weren’t that good at off-roading. This driver does some extreme hill climbing… In the parking lot.

Colonel Sanders in the UN (picture credit Eater.com)

I’ve told you about the hottest junk food in town, a popular dish in restaurants like Momofuku, Perry Street, The Redhead, and Locanda Verde, but this time the fried chicken obsession has gone too far. Eater NY reported that a man dressed as Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken sneaked into the United Nations today to promote the eatery’s grilled chicken. He dodged his way through restricted zones and actually posed with the president of the UN General Assembly. Before leaving, the faux-colonel even submitted a letter lobbying for the UN to recognize “Grilled Nation” as a member of state. 

So much for having confidence in national security. The UN stated, “It should not have happened– that I will stress, and very strongly… There was some lapse in security.”

-Caitlin

Let’s just cut to the chase? As it stands today, TV advertising builds brands. Internet advertising does not. There’s little doubt that once a brand is established, the Internet can and does keep the momentum moving forward, but until that point is reached all the banner ads and twitter tweets will do little to ingrain your brand into the psyche of the consumer.

Creating a memorable brand requires more than getting people to talk about your product on a social network. It requires the advertiser to make an emotional connection that television does so well.  Do you honestly think Nike would be the #1 sports brand if it wasn’t for television advertising?  Or would you feel the same connection with a little known insurance company if their AFLAC-ing duck never made its way onto your television screen? 

Sure technology has changed, but the basic rules of effective marketing remain the same. You still need reach and frequency to create most truly memorable brands.  And television advertising delivers both better than anything else out there.

Television has a rich history of transforming everyday companies into household names.  From packaged goods to insurance, from fast food to tires – television has been responsible for creating some of the most memorable advertising icons.

Who can forget …

The Energizer Bunny … Frank Bartles and Ed Jaymes … Joe Isuzu … Tony The Tiger … The Michelin Man … Mr. Whipple … Dave Thomas … Mr. Peanut … The Keebler Elves … The Maytag Repairman … The Geico Gecko … Charlie The Tuna … Ronald McDonald … Mrs. Olsen … Jared from Subway … Clara “Where’s the Beef” Peller … Orville Redenbacher … The Marlboro Man …Colonel Sanders … Pillsbury Doughboy … Chef Boyardee … The AFLAC Duck … The California Raisins … Morris the Cat … The Quaker Oats Man … The Green Giant … Juan Valdez … The Doublemint Twins … The Budweiser Frogs … Rosie, The Bounty quicker picker upper … Aunt Jemima … Mr. Clean … The Verizon Wireless “Can You Hear Me Now” Man … Betty Crocker … The Lucky Charms Elf … The Geico Cavemen

Now, recall just one advertising icon or brand that wasn’t first introduced to you on television.

I’ll wait …

El fantasma del ambush marketing se cierne sobre la Olimpiada de Londes

En un “conversation starter” (1) de la Harvard Business Review encuentro un tema relacionado con los Juegos Olímpicos y el “ambush marketing”. El marketing de emboscada consiste en una campaña de marketing que se sitúa gratis (es decir sin pago de derechos de auspicio) alrededor de un evento por cuya organización y desarrollo otros han pagado. Es normal que en eventos de mucha importancia el patrocinador exclusivo sea una sola marca lo cual provoca a las demás a buscar una manera de estar en el evento, sin pagar derechos de auspicio pero, al mismo tiempo, sin quebrantar la ley. Dicen que es una táctica tan vieja como el paso de una avioneta con una banderola colgando, sobre una playa atestada. Porque aunque no hay realmente un auspiciador específico en la playa —como no sea el municipio— la avioneta se está aprovechando de un público cuya presencia no financió en forma alguna

En el texto (Why Olympic Sponsorships Aren’t Effective), la autora, Kim Skildum-Reid, gran especialista en el tema, se pregunta si hay manera de proteger de los intrusos a los sponsors de los Juegos Olímpicos, que han hecho importantes inversiones. McDonald’s, por ejemplo, que lleva 33 años de sponsor olímpico es uno de los nueve patrocinadores del programa TOP (The Olympic Partners) en el que nueve sponsors globales pagan entre $900 y $920 millones de dólares para cubrir el periodo 2012-2014 entre los Juegos Olímpicos de Invierno de Vancouver y los Juegos Olímpicos de Londres. Y aún está por renovar su auspicio TOP de los Juegos de Invierno de Sochi en el 2014 y de los Olímpicos de Río en el 2016.

Kim Skildum-Reid ha escrito dos libros sobre el tema del ambush marketing

En el artículo del Harvard Business Review, la autora plantea defender los derechos de los sponsors de unos prácticamente inevitables practicantes del marketing de emboscada lo cual implicaría que se asumieran ciertas cuestiones clave.

• El ambushing es ante todo un desafío de marketing y no un problema legal. Por lo tanto los sponsors necesitan enfocar el tema de desarrollar la experiencia olímpica de manera más creativa y práctica.
• Auspiciar grandes premios (como los de la cadena de Hoteles Hilton, por ejemplo) quizás basados en lo singular de una medalla olímpica, no es la mejor manera de convencer al público, pues solo son significativos para un pequeño grupo: los ganadores. sería mejor crear premios mas que beneficiaran a millones de personas.
• Los mensajes auto-alabando su noble respaldo a los Juegos no venden nada, aunque sea una tentación hacer ostentación de las fuertes sumas que se aportan: no hay un mensaje de marketing en ello.
• La obediencia y el acatamiento a las autoridades olímpicas no puede tener una sola vía. Aunque hay un “ejecutivo de cuenta” que se ocupa de que cada sponsor lleve a cabo sus actividades en consonancia con los contratos firmados, habría que formar equipos de estrategas de alto nivel que trabajen desde muy pronto en las alternativas de utilización de los medios disponibles para levantar los niveles de creatividad en las propias autoridades olímpicas.
• Cada auspicio puede ser diferente. Un antiguo participante del patrocinio de los juegos dice que la experiencia resulta “como hacer gimnasia con una camisa de fuerza puesta”. Tratar de sacarle rendimiento a la inversión y hacer algo memorable pero encontrar resistencia en todas partes y terminar haciendo el mismo tipo de promociones que los demás sponsors.

Streacking como una manera de ambush marketing

Cree el autor que los sponsors deben meterse en las multitudes, cultivar contenidos generados por los propios fans y participar fuera de los confines de los Juegos, donde mucho de la acción se lleva a cabo. Y que los organizadores tienen que estar dispuestos a proporcionar a los sponsors los beneficios correspondientes. Yo me pregunto si ya es difícil manejar la participación dentro del marco de los juegos estricto, metódico y muy controlado, si no será más complicado hacerlo en el amplio espacio donde la supervisión y sobre todo la participación de los que practican el marketing de emboscada, es aún menos posible de controlar.

A fin de ilustrar la práctica del ambush marketing, me permito copiar aquí parte de lo que fueron dos correos a los “mercaderes”  originales, cuando este blog era un e-mail que circulaba entre un grupo pequeño y cerrado.

KFC y el Super Bowl XLII (Feb 2008, Phoenix, Arizona)

Kentucky Fried Chicken aprovecha su participación en el Super Bowl para exprimir la rentabilidad de una promoción para sus nuevas Hot Wings, usando las facilidades que le da la web para que la gente interactúe, haga vídeos y los cuelgue en la red. La promoción invita a bailar la danza del pollo, que ha sido relacionada con el nuevo producto.

Se supone que se  busca la mejor interpretación de la danza del pollo “the chicken dance“  a través de videos que el público cuelga en Youtube (donde ya el propio colonel Sanders, símbolo de KFC tiene su personal interpretación de la danza) y ofrece al ganador, una súper fiesta, para ver en casa y con los amigos el Super Bowl, valorada en $4,250. La fiesta incluye un menú variado de KFC (y en especial de las nuevas “Hot Wings”), una pantalla plana, una limusina para acompañar a los invitados, porristas para animar el evento y hasta servicio de limpieza posterior.

Pero la madre del cordero está en que KFC promete aportar $260,000, al fondo Colonel’s Scholars, que proporciona becas de estudios en nombre del jugador del Super Bowl que interprete el “chicken dance” en la zona final de la cancha (aquella en la que se anotan puntos con solo cruzarla y donde generalmente se celebran estos). Y ha retado a los jugadores a hacerlo. Una oferta difícil de rechazar en vista de que el premio es para una buena causa.

Como el tema ha corrido como pólvora por las redacciones y por la red, el público estará bien enterado y sin duda, puesto que en el Super Bowl la publicidad es quizás más importante que el juego en sí, interesado en ver la parte comercial con interés. Así que es probable que cada vez que un jugador de cualquiera de los equipos anote un punto, los ojos se centrarán en él para ver si empieza a batir “las alas” y caminar como un pollo. Y de una manera u otra, todo el mundo estará pensando en las nuevas  hot wings de KFC. Y si uno finalmente anota y baila, es probable que genere muchos  comentarios al respecto.

La idea me parece genial: tener un buen número de menciones “subliminales” por $260 mil, frente a los $2.7 millones de los 30″ y el interés pendiente casi permanentemente es un buen negocio se mire por donde se mire. Lo ético del tema es harina de otro costal.

No le ha gustado, sin embargo, nada a la NFL (la Liga Nacional de Fútbol Americano) que lo ha llamado “ Ambush marketing”(1), que es como se denomina a cualquier campaña que se desarrolle alrededor de un evento pero sin ningún pago por el patrocinio del mismo. A mi me parece estupenda y además altamente eficaz desde el punto de vista de la inversión,  difícilmente se pueda considerar ilegal. (El partido fue muy defensivo y se anotaron muy pocos puntos y finalmente ningún jugador se animó a hace el baile del pollo después de la anotación).

Li Ning "volando" hacia el techo del estadio antes de encender la llama olímpica

Li Ning y la XXIX de China 2008

He visto el nombre de Li Ning por aquí y por allá en días recientes sin registrar que se trataba del más importante atleta de la historia china: seis medallas olímpicas y el honor de haber llevado a cabo la carrera aérea que culminó con el encendido de la llama olímpica que la noche de la inauguración de la XXIX Olimpiada. Li Ning vestía esa noche la ropa atlética de Adidas, auspiciador del evento, aunque tiene su propia y próspera empresa competencia de Adidas y Nike sobre todo en China.

Es además, según Ad Age, el rey del ambush marketing. No dice el artículo por qué, pero es fácil de adivinar que ha sido por cosas como tratar de que el personal de la cadena china de tv CCTV5, usase un uniforme con el logo de su marca muy visible. Además, es evidente que el logo de Li Ning está más que inspirado en el swash de Nike (ver foto en el artículo de AP) y que su slogan “Anything is possible” es tan parecido al “Impossible nothing” de Adidas que simplemente es… exactamente lo mismo.

Pero lo que ha hecho noticia en estos días, y hoy lo trae Ad. Age, es una foto del equipo de basketball de España, usando un uniforme con la marca de Li Ning posando para un aviso de Seur (un courrier local) “haciéndose los chinos”, es decir, jalándose los ojos con los índices.

La foto la publicó The Guardian asumiendo que podría ser tomada por el país anfitrión como un gesto de desprecio hacia China y recordando que no es este el primer caso de racismo en el deporte español. Se refieren a los comentarios de Luis Aragonés a José Antonio Reyes, sobre Thierry Henry, en un entrenamiento de la selección española de fútbol o los insultos al piloto de Fórmula 1 Lewis Hamilton en el circuito de Montmeló durante unos entrenamientos previos al comienzo del Mundial de 2008. Además de algunos gritos imitando a los monos cuando juega un negro en el equipo contrario en algunos estadios.

La noticia fue repercutida rápidamente por The New York Times, incluso agregando que tal foto podía ser negativa para el objetivo de Madrid de acoger los Juegos Olímpicos de 2016 (otra de las candidatas es Chicago). Y algunos medios españoles afirman que la “preocupación” del NYT tiene que ver más bien con ensombrecer la imagen de Madrid como posible sede del 2016 a fin de favorecer a Chicago. (A la postre no fue elegida ninguna de las dos)

Li Ning ha sonreído y le ha quitado toda importancia a la foto asegurando que ni hubo intención ni se entiende como agravio el gesto de los jugadores. Otros personajes han opinado al respecto y la embajada de China en Madrid ha emitido una declaración formal declarado que el aviso publicitario “no es ni racista, ni ofensivo”.-

Mucho ruido, buzzing puro y muy barato. Con gran concentración en España —exculpada por el dueño de la marca y las autoridades chinas— de cualquier mala intención y ya auspiciada por Li Ning. Estupendo para que gente como yo, que no había oído ni del atleta, ni de su compañía, se entere de su existencia. Y mejor aún si como se dice en alguno de los comentarios los planes de la marca son lanzarse pronto en Europa empezando por… ¡adivinen! Sí. Justamente España, de cuya selección de basket tiene el auspicio de las camisetas.

Zapatilla de Li Ning, el swash es casi idéntico al de Nike

———————————

(1). Behind the breaking business news is often a management idea gone right or wrong. That’s where the Conversation Starter comes in. With this blog, we hope to shed new light on major events and trends in the business world by helping unearth the bigger ideas at work and discussing how those ideas are shaping our lives every day. We hope you’ll join the conversation.

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Harland Sanders Cafe & Museum

The astounding image of Chinese tourists standing in front of a statue of Colonel Sanders at the Great Wall of China for a photo is indelibly etched on my memory! Legendary Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken was as important as  – possibly more important than – the amazing, centuries-old  Great Wall of China, which astronauts can actually see while in orbit.

In light of the role of franchising in modern business practices, his success at franchising his chicken recipe in the 1940s is indeed worthy of acclaim. Before his franchises, he established the Harland Sanders Café and Court in Corbin, KY, where travelers could enjoy a hearty meal of Kentucky fried chicken and a night’s stay in his motel. 

When Interstate 75 bypassed Corbin, his business went belly up. Using a Social Security check, he started franchising his Kentucky fried chicken recipe, which grew into KFC’s acclaim around the world.

On a rainy day in Corbin, KY, we broke our “no franchise food on the road” rule and enjoyed a lunch of grilled chicken while exploring the memorabilia at the Harland Sanders Cafe & Museum. The exhibits include his innovative open kitchen and model motel room for patrons to inspect.

 And I got to have my photo taken with the Colonel.

Colonel Sanders and me at the Harland Sanders Cafe & Museum

A few years ago, I sent this item to Reader’s Digest  for their “Humor in Uniform” column, but I never heard back.

In the late 1960s, during the Vietnam era, we were stationed at a Navy security group base near Yokohoma, Japan. We were from the South. Everyone else was from New England, the upper Mid-West, or the West Coast.

AS the only”grits” in the group, we were subjected to endless teasing about our southern ways. They said, “You guys.” We said, “Y’all.” People would strike up a conversation with us just to hear us talk. We tried in vain to convince them that there were advantages to being “born Southern.”

Lowell Sanders, a colonel in the Tennessee Air National Guard and also the postmaster in our home town, flew a mission to Tokyo, but he didn’t have time to come to visit us. He decided to settle for a phone call. Luckily, my husband was on duty when the call came in.

“Hey, guys—get this,” said the man who took the call. “He has a phone call from Colonel Sanders.”

Dunia Unik : KFC dan nasib patung colonel sanders di jepang

Anda semua tahu colonel sanders? seorang tokoh pendiri KFC. Pernah melihat patungnya? seorang kakek berpakaian serba putih, dengan janggut, kumis, dan alis yang juga putih?

Nah, KFC yang ada di jepang, tidak membiarkan sang colonel sanders hanya berbaju putih membosankan, tetapi mereka memberi sentuhan budaya jepang kepada colonel sanders

A little KFC, isn’t it?

Speaking of which, I started a new job as a Child and Youth Services Coordinator so I’ll have income coming in again. I’ve already started looking at clothes in store windows but have been avoiding going into any stores. This designer makes me realize that I’m probably just going to buy fried chicken instead of clothes.

TV Host And Singer Rolf Harris Totally Looks Like Colonel Sanders

» Think you can do better? Make your own!

Pictures by: dunno source, dunno source Look-Alike by: iceicebeabea via Totally Looks Like Builder

 11:59 pm

KFC: Your Order Fast or Jump the Counter and Kick  Some Ass – NORWELL, MASSACHUSETTS – Boy, the nerve of these companies who give you a warranty or promise on their products then don’t back it up, particulary since our enconomy is slowing getting flushed down the global toilet.  Take for instance those lying sons-a-bitches at Dominoes.  They promise delivery under 30 minutes or there’s no charge, but they’re always late and you sure as hell ain’t getting it free.  Same with those bastards at Burger King.  They tell you to have it your way but the minute you say no onions and tomatoes on your Whopper, you get both, and extra, extra “special” sauce.  On the other hand, Kentucky Fried Chicken is living up to it’s promise and if they don’t come through somebody’s getting their ass kicked the Colonel’s way.

After becoming irate for having to wait 10 minutes for their Kentucky Fried Chicken order, a man and his wife stomped a nosey man who stuck his nose in their business.  When arguing with a KFC employee over the late order a man who was waiting in line intervened and told the couple to keep it down and wait like everyone else.  After the confrontation the two troublemakers took their orders outside, then waited for the man who yelled at them.  As he walked out of the restaurant into the parking lot, the trouble making husbund, who was hiding behind a car,  ran up and kicked him in the nuts, then punched him several times in the face while the wife beat him repeatedly with a bucket of chicken.  The couple was arrested shortly thereafter by police who used a tazer to subdue both in front of a crowd of nearly 60 people. (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091003/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_kfc_assault)

The husband has been charged with assault and battery, stalking, and retail bullying, his second offense after beating up a guy at Chili’s over beans in the nachos platter.   The wife , though not originally charged because her instrument of punishment was a bucket of chicken, was later ordered to appear in court on assault and battery charges and assault with a dead animal.  Both were fined $1500 and had to pay the victim’s medical bills.  They were also sentenced to 3 months hard labor on Colonel Sander’s chicken farm chain gang.  Rumor has it the work there isn’t exactly finger licking good, but what do you expect from a chicken farm that feeds it’s chickens enough steroids to run around for an after their heads were chopped off?

Hand out the arms and ammo
We’re going to blast our way through here
We’ve got to get together sooner or later
Because the revolution’s here, and you know it’s right
And you know that it’s right

We have got to get it together
We have got to get it together
Now…

- “Something in the Air” (LP: Hollywood Dream) by Thunderclap Newman (1969).

They eats chicken, don’t they? - Colonel Harland Sanders, asked his opinion of “the hippies”.

How do you serve this goddamned slop? With a straw? - Colonel Harland Sanders, asked his opinion of the “gravy” substituted for his own by the “McDonalds-like supercorporation” to which he sold his recipe and franchises.

Wendell Berry, Kentuckian elder statesman – belated Happy 75th, Wendell! – of the post-1960s agrarian strain in American letters, has the long cover story, “Inverting the Economic Order,” (read the teaser, stay for the full version) in the September number of The Progressive:

A society in which every school child ‘needs’ a computer, and every sixteen year-old ‘needs’ an automobile, and every eighteen year-old ‘needs’ to go to college is already delusional and is well on its way to being broke.

Russell Moore, influential Southern Baptist theologian, calls it “characteristically provocative”:

It made we wonder if the editors understood what he was writing, or if they’re just open-minded enough to include this perspective, one that skewers a leftist vision of big government just as surely as it skewers a corporatist view of big business.

Over at Common Dreams, Chris Hedges, author of War Is A Force That Gives Us Meaning, What Every Person Should Know About War, and American Fascists: The Christian Right and the War on America, and Empire of Illusion: The End of Literacy and the Triumph of Spectacle, has a Berry-flavored post, “Food Is Power and the Powerful Are Poisoning Us.”

Michael Pollan, marquee author of the current phase of the real-food revolution (The Omnivore’s Dilemma, In Defense of Food), says People Are Finally Talking About Food, and You Can Thank Wendell Berry for That.

A review of Berry’s new essay collection, Bringing It to the Table: On Farming and Food, to which Pollan’s essay serves as introduction.

A special issue of The Nation devoted to food:

Why Cooking Matters

Dan Barber : The campaign for food democracy needs to start with boning knives and cast iron skillets.

Detroit’s ‘Quiet Revolution’

Grace Lee Boggs : How we came to see vacant lots not as blight but as opportunities to grow our own food.

Wendell Berry’s Wisdom

Michael Pollan : Today’s conversation about food was started by dot-connecting writers like Berry in the 1970s.

Mississippi Growing

Habiba Alcindor : An African-American community with New Deal roots finds some hope in a farmers’ market.

Ten Things You Can Do to Start a Community Garden

Band together to gain control of your own food

Our Krazy Kulture: one of the richest sources of merchandise imprinted with old-time pop-culture Americana.

Barrel of Funkys: Gun owners of America, disunite – you have nothing to loose but your vast white-wing conspiratorial stereotypes.

Documentary, “Off The Grid: Life On The Mesa”:

“Twenty-Five miles from town, a million miles from mainstream society, a loose-knit community of eco-pioneers, teenage runaways, war veterans and drop-outs, live on the fringe and off the grid, struggling to survive with little food, less water and no electricity, as they cling to their unique vision of the American dream…”

How To Live Freegan and Die Old.

An oral history of The Whole Earth Catalog, courtesy one of its influential editors, Kevin “Cool Tools” Kelly, also a Wired alum, who supplements his account on his own web site.

Exponents of parkour take the entire topographic urban landscape as their loose-limbed jungle gym, and give ol’ Spidey a run for his money.

A Montessori school in my onetime city of Charlottesville, Virginia, gets its young charges up to their elbows in Another Green World just outside the glass and steel of golden-rule days.

Another amazing pop-culture site, this one more purely eye candy than merchandising, heavy on fare familiar to all who ate cereal and/or candy, drank soda, watched cartoons, or sent off boxtops since the Eisenhower years. Grab the Kleenex, you’ll need it. If we disappear from blogging for days on end, you’ll know where we are.

Captain Hook and his crew lure young children to their boat and Shanghai them into accepting Christ with exciting tales involving pirates and dope.

Playlist

Captain Hook * Intro and Pirate Theme Song
Tiny Tot Calvin * Christian Cowboy
Alleee 1
George Liberace * I’m in Love Again
Christian Pirates
Pirates 2
Kinky Boots
Frances Baskerville * The Vegetables Song
Pirates 3
Knuckles O’Toole * After You’ve Gone
Captain Hook and his Crew * Joy, Joy, Joy
Pirates 4
Neil Richardson * Play School
Hans Moser * I marschier mit mein’n Duli-Dulieh
Pirates 5
Larry Elgart * Bye-Bye Blues
Captain Hook * Ship Ahoy
Pirates 6
Florian Zabach * Harum Scarum
Nino Roti * ‘l’intermezzo’ della mantide religiosa
Pirates 7
Rita Ford * Abide with Me
Captain Hook and his Crew * The Lord is My Shepherd
Pirates 8
David Carroll * Pretty Baby
Lord Lebby * Dr. Kinsey
Pirates 9
Ray Anthony * Rock-Umba
Pirates 10
Doris Day * T’Ain’t Me
Lynn Foulkes * Top of Topanga
Captain Hook and his Crew * Treasure Hunt

Alleee 2

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