Many people get so hung up on WHO’s right that they can’t see WHAT’s right, making them push a bad position to “win” instead of focusing on getting the right answer in everybody’s head and moving forward. Alienating everyone around them is all they achieve, and they’re usually the only one who doesn’t see it. That’s bad enough when at a social gathering, even worse at work, but what if it’s happening in your relationship or marriage? Just how long do you think such a relationship can last? Luckily, the condition is treatable with a little self-injection of self-esteem and an attitude adjustment.

Good grief! This has been the week for phone calls from very disturbed people. I just got off the phone with a consulting client who bought “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage,” and he was frantic. His relationship with his wife was on the rocks, she had filed for divorce, and it didn’t take but a very few minutes to see why she was divorcing him.

First, a little background: The poor guy has such an extreme self-esteem deficit that no woman would ever have him for long (I questioned whether his wife married him for his money because he described her as coming from a rather “low-rent” background, he’s loaded with “old money,” and there’s just no way this guy was ever able to spark attraction in anyone through any means other than dressing well and exhibiting the trappings of money and power), and every part of our conversation was about “who was right” instead of “what will work for him.”

You’ve probably met people like him, and if you haven’t, ignore them when you meet them. Don’t bother trying to get to know them, because they will try to get to know you by telling you that they know more about your life than you do before you’ve said much more than, “Hello.”

His wife had apparently had enough of it and was bailing out after only two months, and he maintained that she knew nothing about herself, what she wanted from herself or him, didn’t have a clue what relationships were about, and he couldn’t get her to understand that he was smart because he was wealthy. Attention all disciples of the Church of Cause and Effect…all together now…1…2…3…CRINGE!!!

I’ve heard a lot over the years of being a business consultant and executive coach, but this guy beat anything I’ve ever seen in terms of being in denial, having a sub-zero self-esteem level, and having absolutely no concept of cause-and-effect relationships. He actually believed that inheriting a large estate made him intelligent! Being intelligent gives one the ability to build a fortune, but receiving an unearned fortune obviously does not include a brain infusion or transplant.

Now that you have the background, picture the fun part. He calls up, introduces himself, describes in great detail all of the above, and after agreeing to a $250 consulting fee for a 2-hour block of my time, proceeds to spend the first hour trying to first justify everything he did and then trying to tell me why nothing in the book he purchased could possibly help him, and that since he was wealthy, he could afford to spend time with me to suggest changes that had occurred to him as he was reading the Table of Contents – he had NOT yet read the book!

Now, in case this is your first edition of this newsletter and you’ve not heard it before, a team of 118 couples helped me conduct and test all the research that went into this book, and anything that was less than 90% effective was not included; things that were between 50% and 90% effective were noted for discussion in this newsletter (you’ll occasionally see me mentioning test results and asking you to write with your own experience) to see if there might be a way to fine tune them for acceptable performance to be added to the book, and anything less than 50% effective was consigned to individual circumstances or personal tastes and omitted entirely. Now, think about that for just a second…

…a 118-page book full of advice and concepts, each of which at least 90% of 118 women agreed on being effective with them, and at least 90% of men agreed were easy and enjoyable to do. There have been only three refunds in over five years, and all were the result of some misunderstanding about the purpose or content of the book (two of which had inadvertently purchased the same book twice and wanted one of them refunded!). I also have unsolicited testimonials from almost everyone who has ever bought it stating that it works wonders. That kind of thing is unheard of with information products. Most authors brag if they can keep their refund rate down to 10%, and mine is currently under 0.00004%.

That doesn’t leave a whole lot of room for error, does it? It has worked to improve everyone’s lives, but this guy, who’s bought this book to try to head off a divorce and starts the conversation with the words, “My name is XXXXXX XXXXXXXXX and my wife is divorcing me and I don’t know what to do,” is going to be charitable and spend an hour of paid consulting time telling me that everything in my book, which he has not yet read, is wrong and then asking me for help. Sound familiar?

Are you like this guy, more interested in being heard or being “right” than in being happy? Is your partner? Can you see what a strain it’s putting on your relationship? If either of you are like this man, you can bet that at some point it will end your relationship if it’s not fixed; good relationships, of any kind, have compatibility and cooperation at their core, not conflict and competition. The first steps in fixing any problem is admitting there is a problem, defining it, and taking responsibility for fixing whatever part of it you can impact. Only after those three things are accomplished can an effective solution be developed.

And, by the way, taking responsibility does not mean taking the blame; it means committing to act in solving and eliminating the problem. Indeed, people who won’t take responsibility are very prone to focus on blame and point the finger everywhere but at themselves, making it impossible to show them how they may have contributed to the problem and determine how they might modify their perspective or behavior to ensure it doesn’t happen in the future. As you might expect, this was the hardest part of this phone call – getting this man to see that his self-esteem deficit was the vast majority of the problem so that he could begin building self-esteem through genuine achievements and eliminate the problem.

It took two hours of him yelling and screaming and arguing with me, and me countering every argument with the very irrefutable facts he had given me, but finally a light came on (“No bad idea, no matter how popular, can withstand the onslaught of logic.” – Aldus Huxley) and he was able to see that he had spent the entire call rejecting the help he had paid to obtain because he wanted to be right.

There was no way to shorten the process. I kept asking, “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” and he kept answering “I want both!” It was when he finally realized that if he could be both he would have never needed to call me in the first place that he finally had a revelation that made me think he’d had a heart-attack. He didn’t speak for about five minutes and there were all manner of stressful sounds on his end where he was trying to either hold back or silence his crying so I wouldn’t hear it. I mercifully let him get it out of his system without asking if he was alright, and he finally said, “Okay, I’m a clean slate. Tell me what I need to know.”

I said, ‘What you need to know first is that everything in that book you bought has worked for everyone who has used it; within the last week a young man in your predicament pulled his literally out of divorce court, his wife is back home, and they’re making long-term career and family plans now. Go back and read the book, thoroughly, this time looking for answers instead of validation and expecting to be happy in the future instead of expecting to be right throughout your history, and then call me if we need to talk further. Now that you have come this far, I have every confidence you can go the distance.” Tear ‘em down and build ‘em back up the right way…facing reality and embracing it with a fury.

(Update: He did as I instructed, and he eventually turned out to be one of my star students. It turned out that he was quite intelligent, not because he was wealthy, but because he had an analytical mind and the ruthlessness to learn anything, once we got his ego out of the way; emotion and rational thinking don’t mix. Congratulations, J.G. – you still hold the title as my biggest challenge of this project, even bigger than finding a whole book full of facts about women that over a hundred women agreed upon!)

As I said, this situation can destroy your relationship – ANY relationship of any kind — if it goes on continuously, but I didn’t mention that you can do extreme damage to your relationship in a single argument with this mistake. As tempers rise, things are said that can be apologized for, but not taken back; you cannot “unring” a bell. When there is a disagreement, focus on WHAT is right, not WHO is right, and instruct your partner to do the same. You’re partners, and supposed to be a team, so the important thing is not to win an argument (competitive), but to score a win for the team in the situation (cooperative), is it not?

So why do we do this to ourselves and our partners, the people whom we should love and seek cooperative and mutually beneficial existence with the most??? As with many people problems, low self-esteem puts us in a competitive mode, thinking that we’ll feel better if we beat somebody at something – anybody at anything! How much self-esteem will you be garnering by making an ass of yourself and putting your relationship on the rocks? Think before you open your mouth, because you can certainly get your foot in it much easier than you can put back into it any words that came out of it. Keep things in perspective, and you can keep things moving in the right direction always.

So, are you going to concern yourself with what’s right, or with who? Have you ever heard that old ditty, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got…”? There’s a little more to it, but that’s the gist of it.

I’m telling you, straight up, achiever-to-achiever, I have what you need, right here. Solid, factual information, tested by over a hundred regular couples in long-term committed relationships, most of them married, all of them long-term enough to have developed significant problems that threatened their relationships, before this book was every published, and thousands more since.
 
It’s in “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage,” and it’s just a few mouse-clicks away. Download your copy today at http://www.makingherhappy.com, because with information like this and a little study and desire, you can start putting an end to silly little traps like this one once and for all within minutes of downloading it. And I have a whole bunch readers who will tell you that you can’t get results like you’ll get with this information, anywhere or at any price.

In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!
David Cunningham

Labels: authority, Communication, Handling Conflict, Male Attitude, Projecting Respect, Respecting Women

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Le Parc
Av. Pierre Bérégovoy
71000 Mâcon (France)
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• Electrical installations / Connections / Facilities
• Stand construction: custom build
• Events / exhibition organisation
• Rental: furniture
• Lettering / Signage
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• Cleaning
• Rental: flowers and plants / Floral decoration
• Consultancy
• Rental: audio visual, ICT
• Photography
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I just finished a group presentation for a Knowledge Management course I am taking for my MBA. The company we presented is a huge data mining firm called Attensity. They focus on a wide variety of industries with specific attention being placed on goverment. Check it out…

Google is gearing up for an all-out assault on the mobile-phone market that will include a new, Google-branded handset and the first comprehensive Google phone service with unlimited free calls.

via The Googlephone: Google gears up for attack on mobile-phone market – Times Online.

Host: Vertical Response
Date: 12/4/09
Time: 10:00 a.m. – 11:00 a.m, PST

Summary:

Platforms like LinkedIn help you leverage your professional network in a smarter more organized way. It is a key platform for your business to be creating leads and exchanging ideas. Join Scott Allen, author of The Virtual Handshake and VerticalResponse as we dive into the secrets of how to open doors and close deals on professional networks liked LinkedIn.

Learn:

• The basis of social networks like LinkedIn
• Why to join social networks
• How to create relationships on LinkedIn
• How to make social networks and email marketing work together
• Examples of successful social network users

Register for this webinar

Host: Vertical Response
Date: 2/12/10
Time: 10:00 a.m. – 11:00 a.m, PST

Summary:

It’s more important than ever to leverage video when marketing your business. If you’ve capture a video clip of one of your customers talking about you, or your product it’s a great way to potentially boost response. Join Andrew Lock, host of Help My Business Sucks weekly online TV Show, and VerticalResponse as we discuss how to easily leverage videos to drive business.

Learn:

• The basis of creating video clips for your business
• Tips to make video a snap with your limited schedule
• Best practices of business videos
• How to integrate email and video to make them work together
• Example of successful business videos

Register for this webinar

فديو, فيديو كليب انا بيه ورومانسى من فلم, فيلم البيه الرومانسىافلام لك تحميل من

شاهد فديو, فيديو كليب انا بيه ورومانسى من فلم, فيلم البيه رومانسى – سعد الصغير 2009
تحمل وتنزيل فديو, فيديو كليب سعد الصغير من فلم, فيلم البيه رومانسى انا بيه ورومانسى

لمشاهدة وتحميل الفديو, فيديو كليب …

شاهد فديو, فيديو كليب اغنية سعد الصغير انا بيه ورومانسى من فلم, فيلم البيه رومانسى
يو, فيديو كليب سعد الصغير من فلم, فيلم البية الرومانسى – انا بيه ورومانسى

اضغط هنا لمشاهدة الكليب

|اغانى|فديو, فيديو كليب|مقطع|هدف|مسلسل|اعلان|فلم, فيلم|برنامج|حلقة|شاهد|مشاهدة|اون لاين|سرعة عالية |بدون
تحميل|اغانى|عربى|اجنبى|MP3, mp3, ام بي ثري|البوم|
2009|سينجل|نغمات|تنزيل|نزل|شعبي|راب|حمل|موسيقى|MP3, mp3, ام بي ثري

|افراح|فديو, فيديو كليب|راديو||اون لاين|بدون تحميل|مجانا|بدون اشتراك|2010

When a Doctor sends their patient for a test, for example, a blood test, an x-ray, and the patient returns to go over the results with the Doctor, is this sufficient for resolving the initial complaint? I don’t think it is. I think there are gaps left-over, and even in Canadian Health Care, which I have only about a %10 criticism for, I think it is not enough to go on gut-feelings in patient care and service.

For example, it is not the same as writing an essay, and checking the grammar, spelling and typos that the computer misses as errors, then printing the essay and not having to do anything else with it because it is done. I think this is how the medical testing process needs to function.

As a patient, how do you know that your GP has done all that they can to figure out what is wrong from your initial complaint? How do you know that they remember your case at all by looking at you, and not your chart? When will general practice medicine follow the trend of DVD players, for example? To explain what I mean, when DVD players first came out, they were over $1,000. Now you can buy one online for about $20. The only real flaw with buying a DVD player when it came out right away was that you could not record shows like a VCR. When will general practitioners be able to issue 3D body scans on same-day service without it costing “an arm and a leg”?

If you need to have a referral to see a specialist for chronic, but treatable pain, such as bursitis of the hip (which I personally have had for a year), and with no success in physiotherapy, why do you have to wait for three months to get into seeing a specialist who can possibly cure the condition with one fell swoop of an injection of cortisone? I won’t go on about this question too much because it is probably never going to be solved, even in our free health care society.

In yearly examinations with your GP, why do you have to remind them that you are allergic to a penicillin, or another common prescription allergy? I guess I’m ranting from the perspective of a patient—actually, I will not use the word, “ranting,” anymore for this blog—I am arguing from the perspective of a patient, but also from the mindset that if I am going into medicine, I want to practice as a country Doctor in the city. The ideal situation where a Doctor is able to remember what they said to their patient last month, and to the patient’s radiologist, and to the patient’s cardiologist is how I want to practice medicine. Remember, perfection is not possible because the brain is malleable (Norman Doige, MD), but as Dr. Cason says, it is in the perspective too .

Doctor-patient communication is part and parcel the responsibility of both individuals to maintain. Patients have to respect their doctors, but at the same time, Doctors are people too. The authority restriction of a Doctor that limits risk-taking in question posing by patients can be a risk in itself, because important questions may not be asked until it is too late.

This may only be a bite of a bigger piece of fruit that I am writing about, so please return to perhaps find part two, bite two, three, four, five. This dialogue must happen, and I will facilitate it here.

Regards,

Art Doctor

Host: Vertical Response
Date: 2/26/10
Time: 10:00 a.m. – 11:00 a.m, PST

Summary:

Social Media has become a very important part of business. It can no longer be something you have heard of and needs to be something you are doing for you business. Join Janine Popick, CEO of VerticalResponse as we discuss how to make social media and email marketing work together.

Learn:

• An overview of social media
• Best practices for social media
• How to get more followers and email subscribers by using email and social media together
• How to make sure all audience receive and read your messages
• Example of businesses that have successfully integrated social media and email marketing

Register for this webinar

فديو, فيديو كليب انا بيه ورومانسى من فلم, فيلم البيه الرومانسىافلام لك تحميل من

شاهد فديو, فيديو كليب انا بيه ورومانسى من فلم, فيلم البيه رومانسى – سعد الصغير 2009
تحمل وتنزيل فديو, فيديو كليب سعد الصغير من فلم, فيلم البيه رومانسى انا بيه ورومانسى

لمشاهدة وتحميل الفديو, فيديو كليب …

شاهد فديو, فيديو كليب اغنية سعد الصغير انا بيه ورومانسى من فلم, فيلم البيه رومانسى
يو, فيديو كليب سعد الصغير من فلم, فيلم البية الرومانسى – انا بيه ورومانسى

اضغط هنا لمشاهدة الكليب

|اغانى|فديو, فيديو كليب|مقطع|هدف|مسلسل|اعلان|فلم, فيلم|برنامج|حلقة|شاهد|مشاهدة|اون لاين|سرعة عالية |بدون
تحميل|اغانى|عربى|اجنبى|MP3, mp3, ام بي ثري|البوم|
2009|سينجل|نغمات|تنزيل|نزل|شعبي|راب|حمل|موسيقى|MP3, mp3, ام بي ثري

|افراح|فديو, فيديو كليب|راديو||اون لاين|بدون تحميل|مجانا|بدون اشتراك|2010

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Le Chorus
Parc du Golfe
56000 Vannes (France)
More information about Le Chorus …

An overview of the available activities for Le Chorus …

• Electrical installations / Connections / Facilities
• Stand construction: custom build
• Events / exhibition organisation
• Rental: furniture
• Lettering / Signage
• Floorcovering / Carpet
• Rental: lighting installations
• Webdesign
• Displays (design/fabrication)
• Waste treatment / Refuse disposal
• Cleaning
• Rental: flowers and plants / Floral decoration
• Consultancy
• Rental: audio visual, ICT
• Photography
• Catering / Food & beverages
• Managementsystem / Software
• Translators / Interpreters
• Standdesign / Designstudio
• Communication / Magazines / Online
• Marketing
• Scene construction / Curtains / Decoration material
• Standmaterial / Modular systems / Walls / Woodwork

Home Business the New Growth Sector – Why Now? Especially Now.

The world’s leaders have decided that our future is uncertain. Global recession…Global warming… Global Panic.
Well this little black duck will not take this lying down. A recession proof industry like Personal Development makes so much sense as to secure Your families, and their families families, future.
To be self reliant and accountable for your future; as it is always better off in Your hands. Today’s world is full of possibilities that could only be dreamed of by our parent’s generation. In a few short years communication technology has turned the average home into a well equipped global office. With video cameras, conference calling technology and full internet solutions the possibilities are endless to creating a successful business. Social networking sites such as facebook and twitter have given the Internet mass appeal across many generations. Communication is just so easy, accessible and Now.

E – Commerce is now huge business and the internet has created a level playing field that gives every business, large or small, the same opportunity for success. Consumers around the world are spending over $9,000,000,000 a year in commerce transactions over the Internet.
We are still in the early stages of this growth cycle and the demand is expected to grow even faster in the near future.
Home businesses are starting up every day in just about every country around the world and have become a viable way to create a successful business providing an income and security for Your family which is totally up to You, rather than the boss. It costs tens of thousands to hundreds of thousands of dollars to set up and run a conventional business.

Running a home based business on the other hand does cut costs quite dramatically. The Internet has the potential to reach customers from all around the world for a fraction of what a traditional business would spend. The Internet has come of age and just about everyone on the planet uses the internet for purchases, research, and employment amongst many other things. The slogan now is, if you want information, just ‘Google it’.

There is no such thing as ‘job security’ anymore. Your only job security is YOU. Smart people are looking for other options, options that suit the lifestyle they demand and they are creating it through legitimate and ethical home based businesses.
One needs to be self motivated and disciplined to have success at working at home as there is no ‘boss’ to check up on you to see if you’re doing what needs to be done. You are accountable for your own level of income.
It’s important to look and utilize mentors throughout your journey – Work with someone who’s already doing the business and having success, learn from them and duplicate exactly what they are doing, always though, put your own flair to what you’re doing and look to always improve; it’s natures way.
The Personal Development industry has been around for many years. Personal Development has been featured on the Ellen De Generes show, Larry King Live and has featured on Oprah many times. As people continue to strive for better results in life they lean more and more to work with coaches, mentors and trainers that can take their business to the next level. The industry has become so popular that over 19 billion US dollars worth of products were sold worldwide last year alone, so people are really looking for self improvement.

Do you dream of achieving your financial and emotional goals while working efficiently and ethically at home, working hours tailored around the lifestyle you dream of? We all do. Do You wish to achieve the work life balance tipped toward Life rather than work. We only have One Life. We must all strive to make it the best one we possibly can.
Personal Development is improving You to be the Best You there is.
Too many people settle for mediocrity when success and abundance is just around the corner.
Home Business is not the scary monster is use to be, as more and more professionals are heading this way, to give them back their lives, and not miss the one time to be there, when their children grow up. …or any other major family event.
That one event, that will never be repeated…don’t miss it.
Just remember; Ford, Microsoft and Coca Cola all started as home businesses.

About the Author:
Christine Greig has a true passion for assisting others to achieve their full potential in life through empowerment on all levels.
Chrissy runs a very successful international home based business in the booming personal development industry.
She shares a love of animals, people, traveling the world, attending Personal Development Seminars to name a few.
Chrissy and her lovely family currently reside on a property in beautiful Sunny Tamworth Australia when she is not traveling, and is Loving Life.

“Seeing people who I have mentored become wildly successful in all areas of their lives, is absolutely the best feeling…
there is no greater joy…I thank you all”

For more information and guidance on how You can become independently successful free call 1800 735559 or visit www.BestEverHomeBusiness.com

Check back every Friday to find out what LaKesha Says… over on the Young Writer’s Block.  Click here, to see what your favorite featured blogger is writing about.  Don’t forget to browse around the site, there are some great bloggers writing about music, politics, art & culture and a host of other topics.

*click on the article title to go straight to that post

The Failure of Trickle Down Economics

“This artificial wealth lead people to buy houses, cars and other items that they could not truly afford to keep up with the Jones.  The Jones, contrary to popular opinion, are not your neighbors who are also heavily leveraged but the ones you see effortlessly spending money using their American Express instead of Visa or MasterCard.  They were the ones with a savings account and retirement account versus just having a checking account that barely covers your expenses.”

The Reality of Being Uninsured in America

“The reality of being uninsured in America escapes many of the people with the power to help those who need it. Not only are most people who need insurance unable to march on Washington because they are working one or more jobs but they often don’t understand how capitalism is able to wield its influence over our political system. They have placed their faith in a system that has no interest in helping them or protecting their rights.”

Each one, teach one

“It seems like the people most often taking advantage of mentoring programs already have a leg up on the competition because they know what they don’t know (that they need a mentor) and how to get to it (seek out a professional such as yourself). However, I am suggesting that we reach out to those who might not even know what a mentor is.”

The Time Value of Life

“ A friend once asked me to do something and I simply responded, “I don’t have time.” He quickly corrected me and said, “It’s not that you don’t have time, it’s just not that important to you.” This statement stopped me dead in my tracks because I realized that he was right.”

It’s hard to keep up the energy to write everyday.  Seems like something new is happening every time, and I feel jerked every which a way.

So, last week, I was feeling pretty peaceful and okay about everything.  Still a little ragged in the soul, but mostly with the abruptness of how everything had occurred.  I was processing, coming to terms.  Thinking things through, reassessing.

I could tell (and can still tell) that communication is a huge issue and will continue to be a huge issue between J.L. and I.  Near the end of the week, it really came to a head.   I’ve always seen house rules and relationship rules as something to be set up in a similar manner to those the founding fathers of our nation followed when setting up the constitution  – a set of guiding principles which, when adhered to, provide a loose framing structure.

And, of course, if any of those guiding principles need clarification or amending, that’s naturally to be taken under advisement and discussion within our family.

However, J.L. sees me more as (if we’re comparing to heads of state) a Chairman Mao or Stalin, some sort of communist dictator of the homefront type.  So he’s apparently been harboring some serious resentment there.

He finally released all his frustrations and anxieties in a veritable fountain of insults and miscommunication on Saturday evening.  I fled and got completely and stupidly drunk that evening, but it wasn’t over.  It spilled over into Sunday morning.

It was shocking to me.  I felt as though I was in a little teeny cage far too small for my size, made of heavy, weighty iron bars with a thick-plated floor and a roof that I pressed uselessly against in my quest to escape the storm of anger.

He kept lashing at me with his anger, cutting off my protests and denials with leather-whip-quick interruptions and dagger-studded insults about how unreasonable and paranoid and controlling I am.  I couldn’t escape this pressing sense of doom, this certain sense of my inability to alter my course or world.  I was terrified that everything was spinning out of control, and I couldn’t grasp or hold anything for a second.

The sky was far too vast, and yet the world was pressing in far too close.  Every explanation I tried to make was torn away from me, destroyed and rebuked and revoked.  My words were stolen and turned against me – my allies made into traitors and liars.

The worst part of it all was that very evening, Allen and Seamus were coming down for dinner.  The fight between J.L. and I about massive miscommunications took place Saturday evening and spilled over into Sunday, basically lasting all day.  I also had a massive hangover, the product of a Long Island Iced Tea, a Lemon Drop Martini and a Vegas Bomb in that I drank in the space of one hour on the Saturday night the fight began (some hours after it had been going, after I fled the premises).

Thing about me?  I don’t drink.  I really do not drink.  I may have the occasional beer – not even really then, hard cider.  I’ll nurse a hard drink, like a lemon martini or Long Island . . . it usually takes me an hour or more to finish just one of those.  Hell, I nurse my hard ciders.  I sip a glass of white wine once every week or so.

I don’t have anything against alcohol.  I just don’t drink much.  About the only times you’ll really see me slamming down the alcohol is when I am fucking pissed off.  Not sad, not maudlin, not thoughtful, not joyous, not celebrating.  PISSED.  THE FUCK.  OFF.

I don’t get in fights or anything, because I’m not a belligerent type of person.  But I will drink and drink and try and nurse that wild, angry, stupid side of me.  Usually I’ll just end up getting puking drunk and passed out within an hour because I so rarely drink, and I’ll have a raging hangover the next day.  Which is what happened on Saturday.

But on Sunday, I was terrified.  I want to make it clear to anyone who doesn’t know or understand, I wasn’t at any time in physical danger.  I was scared because of mental phantoms.  My world was pressing and swooping in and down on me, full of shadows and ash and breaking glass, and J.L. was looming and yelling and all voice-whips and word-axes and anger.  I ended up taking some clonazepam and curling up in the corner under a blanket for a few hours.

J.L., I think, realized when I broke down in great, heaving sobs in the middle of the yard that he’d maybe been yelling too much.

By the time Allen and Seamus arrived for dinner, I’d been out of it for several hours.  J.L. had fixed and cleaned the house.  I made meatballs.  I think I did okay during the evening.  I don’t really know.  J.L. says I did.  I managed, but I felt a bit like a very delicate china doll.

They seemed very nice, though.  I would like to meet them under better circumstances.  I’m still trying to sew the bits and pieces of my soul back together.

With my burgeoning addiction simmering quietly in the background, I recently took up an invitation from a colleague to attend a Social Media event in Exeter.

I fully expected to feel horribly out-of-place, and as the day of the event drew near, I hurriedly banged out a few Facebook updates and several inane tweets (now my trademark).

I feared that I wouldn’t understand what everyone was talking about, I mused on what I would say if asked…

“What are YOU doing here?”

My fears were misplaced.  I hadn’t even made it through the doors before I’d met several fellow attendees who, notwithstanding my obvious lack of experience, were open, welcoming and helpful.

Photograph by kind permission of Laura Whitehead

The main theme was measuring the return on investment from social media strategies within organisations.  Olivier Blanchard delivered a really practical and pragmatic presentation focusing on this issue.  He pointed out that social media is not free as a successful strategy requires investment in terms of skilled people, time and energy.  So, as a champion for Social Media within your organisation you will need to be able to demonstrate its value to those who hold the purse strings.

Those individuals may be far removed from the customers, so soft talk about building relationships may not be enough.  Instead, a way must be found to measure the benefits to the business.

Whilst existing management information ought to be capable of identifying increases in revenue without difficulty, establishing a causal link between your new social media strategy and any such change in financial performance is far more complex.  We were reminded that it is easy at first to be impressed by your level of followers or the amount of traffic to your site, but unless that increased traffic is being translated into increased purchases, those at the top will soon become disillusioned.  It was therefore suggested that we consider the process in terms of a continuum: beginning with investment, moving through, action and reaction, through non-financial impact and finally reaching financial impact.  It is all too tempting to measure only the reaction and the non-financial impacts (i.e. the nature of the comments received and the number of hits/followers) because these are easy to assess.  However, to justify continued investment, businesses need to at least make a stab at measuring the financial impacts: reviewing financial performance before and after the strategy gets underway and comparing previous financial periods to adjust for seasonality and other factors that may distort the results.  Some of this is pure detective work, but coupled with good record keeping, regarding the contacts made through social media and their purchasing patterns, a good picture can be formed, sufficient to enable you to argue for your next budget allocation!

Once that initial step has been taken it would also be helpful to build case studies to demonstrate the value of social media within the business or organisation.  In the early days, these real events can often prove more persuasive than a set of disembodied figures.

There were several other great speakers, whom space will not permit me to cover in the same detail, and some great insights into forming a social media strategy and managing that strategy on an ongoing basis.  Here are some of my favourite nuggets from the event:

• When setting out your strategy, describe your company as if it were a living, breathing individual with a personality and values.  Social Media is essentially about human interaction so it’s got to be personal.
• Elect a “conversationalist” for your business to deal with the day-to-day work of keeping your social media outlets updated, but make sure everyone involved in communication and IT is on board.  Involve that conversationalist in high level meetings to ensure that (a) they are fully appraised of the direction the business is taking and (b) that the personality of the business is reflected in their posts and updates.
• Think of your Social Media activities as a way to move potential customers along the spectrum from complete strangers to loyal customers (and even advocates for your business) by building trust and personal connections.
• Don’t use Social Media for direct selling, you’ll just irritate and alienate people.  Think instead about building a community around your brand – the metaphor of a camp fire was used by one panelist, conjuring up the image of a warm and inviting place, which draws people in.
• As with most new strategies, it’s probably a good idea to take small steps and dip your toe, so to speak, in the Social Media waters.  Limiting your efforts to one or two sites or media will make it easier to keep up and to keep track of the effect the strategy is having.
• Agree within your business, the parameters for your conversationalist:  how many times a day should they tweet, how often should they publish a new blog post?
• Keep it fresh and think from time to time “Am I being boring – do I need to shake it up a bit and try something new?”

All useful stuff, but my favorite was this prediction of the way the UK’s business landscape is developing.  Apparently…

“Small is the new black”

I’m glad about that – at 5′1″ I’m bound to be in demand in the new economy.

These valuable insights were only slightly overshadowed by one of the panelists sporting a kilt.  I think the delegates remained remarkably focused in the circumstances.

Details of the other great contributors to the Like Minds event, which was held in Exeter on 16th October 2009 can be found by going to the Like Minds website.  Happily a further event is to take place in February 2010.  See you there.

Polycom è il leader mondiale della Unified Collaborative Communication (UCC). La UCC massimizza l’efficienza e la produttività aziendali offrendo una vasta gamma di soluzioni di videoconferenza, audioconferenza e infrastrutture di rete ( sistemi multipunto MCU e gateway IP / ISDN / V.35), e permette di lavorare, comunicare e collaborare a distanza in condizioni ottimali. Tutte le soluzioni di Polycom, sviluppate su architetture aperte, rispondono agli standard tecnologici del settore, sono facili da utilizzare e da gestire e si integrano in modo semplice con l’infrastruttura di telefonia e di rete aziendali esistenti, sia fissa che mobile. Con le sue tecnologie leader di mercato, i suoi ottimi prodotti, le forti partnership con i grandi attori del settore e una gamma completa di servizi, Polycom è la scelta più naturale per le aziende che vogliono migliorare il proprio modo di lavorare e di comunicare per ottenere dei vantaggi competitivi. Polycom è presente in Italia dal 1996 attraverso la propria rete di distribuzione e dal 2005 con un ufficio a Milano.

It is not known who replied, but there is a beautiful soul working in the “dead letter” office of the US postal service.

Dear God,
Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick. I hope you will play with her. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her You will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.
Love,

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Reims Evènements
B.P. 214
51686 Reims Cedex 2 (France)
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At this point in the fall, students can feel torn between the desire to take a well-deserved breather, and (in some cases) severe stress over finding their next internship or gearing up for the daunting task of job hunting.

Thanksgiving comes at a perfect time.  Just enough down-time to allow you to regroup, think through your plans and priorities, while also packing in the food and having some much-deserved fun.

It also happens to be an EXCELLENT time to begin or ramp up your networking efforts.  Here are some tips for preparing on your way home:

• * Make a list of everyone you’re going to see during this break, and (as much as you can recall) what they do for a living, where they work, where they live, what kinds of circles they hang out in. Then, of course, tuck that list away. It would kind of look mercenary if anyone found it.
• * Think about something that you can say about your next career development goal: I’m hoping to explore careers in X in the next few months by talking to people in the field, OR I’ve decided to explore Y career path and am looking for a spring internship in that field, OR I’ll be job hunting soon, and am really interested in getting a foot in the door in Z industry.
• * Remind yourself of some of your accomplishments. Folks will be interested in what you’ve been up to. Deliver the goods, with passion, and with just enough detail to let them know that you really sank your teeth into something.

Then sink your teeth into your turkey (or tofurkey) and pumpkin pie, and have some nice, relaxed (and subtly goal-oriented) conversations with your nearest and dearest (or those of your family and/or friends)! They may know people who can help, or have ideas for you that you hadn’t considered. Keep your mind open, and…be grateful for all that you will have received.

Happy Thanksgiving/Networking!!

This New York Times article explores communicating in the workplace — from gossip to how to approach a coworker:

When employees are hired here, they’re given a communications assessment, a commercial program that the company uses to pinpoint a person’s dominant communications style. The styles are linked to colors that identify how each employee likes to communicate. If someone is a “red,” for example, he or she appreciates when others are direct and state the facts quickly. A person who’s a “blue” enjoys having all the details, and time to process them. A “yellow” is spontaneous and likes a personal connection. I’m a “green.” That means I’m sensitive and like to be approached as courteously as possible; greens tend to be compassionate and supportive. Nameplates on our desks have a color bar to identify our styles, or we can easily find them in a company database. This system lets everyone know how co-workers prefer to be approached, and it goes a long way in promoting harmony. If I don’t know someone’s style, I check before I visit his or her office or send an e-mail message.

Read on here.

Quelques sites communaux se distinguent en Brabant wallon, écrit La Libre le 7/12/07. Ottignies, Waterloo et Incourt sont classés parmi les meilleurs. Suivant l’AWT, l’organisme public chargé de la promotion des technologies de l’information et de la communication (TIC) la commune de Rixensart obtient le score « bon » (…). Dans son palmarès, l’AWT s’est notamment basé sur l’ergonomie, sur le contenu informationnel, l’interactivité et les services en ligne (…). Dans les prochains jours, chaque commune wallonne recevra un rapport et des recommandations concernant son site web.

Première mise en ligne sur les Carnets de Proximité le 20/12/2007