Connecting to a MySQL Database in Java using MySQL JDBC
import java.sql.*;

public class JavaMySQL{
public static void main(String[] args) {
System.out.println(“MySQL Connect Example.”);
Connection conn = null;
String url = “jdbc:mysql://localhost:3306/”;
String dbName = “jdbctutorial”;
String driver = “com.mysql.jdbc.Driver”;
String userName = “root”;
String password = “root”;
try {
Class.forName(driver).newInstance();
conn = DriverManager.getConnection(url+dbName,userName,password);
System.out.println(“Connected to the database”);
conn.close();
System.out.println(“Disconnected from database”);
} catch (Exception e) {
e.printStackTrace();
}
}
}

Description of code:

Connection:
This is an interface in java.sql package that specifies connection with specific database like: MySQL, Ms-Access, Oracle etc and java files. The SQL statements are executed within the context of the Connection interface.

Class.forName(String driver):
This method is static. It attempts to load the class and returns class instance and takes string type value (driver) after that matches class with given string.

DriverManager:
It is a class of java.sql package that controls a set of JDBC drivers. Each driver has to be register with this class.

getConnection(String url, String userName, String password):
This method establishes a connection to specified database url. It takes three string types of arguments like:

url: – Database url where stored or created your database
userName: – User name of MySQL
password: -Password of MySQL

con.close():
This method is used for disconnecting the connection. It frees all the resources occupied by the database.

printStackTrace():
The method is used to show error messages. If the connection is not established then exception is thrown and print the message.

I must have been a very good girl this year because Santa definitely came early! I knew I needed to show my gratitude by sharing these awesome book reviews (and links) for my book “I’m at a Networking Event–Now What???” from this past week:

Matt’s review on his Career Horizons blog.

Randy’s review on his Hire Ground blog.

Who knew I’d have 2 not-so-secret Santas this year?!

LOOKING AT SOME PICTURES OF Mama and Daddy with mama’s birthday celebration with daddy a few years ago, snap shorts taken after our wedding banquet, outing at the swimming pool and a boat trip with Hally, and more … Little R asked me: “where is roc roc?”

(at 2 years 1 months 23 days)

I got an e-mail from a stranger today. That’s not anything unusual — I get e-mail from strangers (mostly from Nigeria) almost every day.

But this one was different. It said:

Hello Maria,I have seen numerous posts on this site from a fellow named XXX, I believe that he may be an old boy scout and reptile hunting friend from the mid 1960’s, I would like very much to hear from him again, If you know him or have a way to contact him please forward my email address to him.

Thank You XXX
XXX, Montana
XXX@hotmail.com

Of course, I XXXed out identifying information to protect his privacy.

The site on question wasn’t my blog. It’s wickenburg-az.com, a Web site I started back in 1999 when I really liked the town I call home. (Now, not so much, but that’s another story.) I knew that the person in question did not actually write any of the “posts” on that site. But his name rang a bell and I searched the comments. Sure enough, he was there.

And he’d included what looked like a valid e-mail address.

I forwarded the messaged I received to him with the following preface:

Got this today from someone on wickenburg-az.com. If it’s someone you know, please respond directly to him at XXX@hotmail.com

If this isn’t someone you know, you can ignore it and please accept my apologies for bothering you.

Do these two men know each other? The commenter on my blog has a sufficiently odd last name that it could very well be possible. I may have brought two old friends together after 40+ years.

Maybe they can go reptile hunting together again.

That’s my good deed for the day; I’ll update this if I learn more.

- o -

What’s your good deed for December 21? Use the Comments link or form to tell us.

A little reminder of the reason for the season:

Disclosure: I had to have Huh help me insert this video into my post. I was pretty clueless as to how to do it. Thank heavens for tech savvy teenagers!

When meeting someone for the first time at a business networking event, it is important to take a genuine interest in them and their business before you begin speaking about yourself. Focus on getting to know them, while building a relationship, that will last longer then the few moments of introduction.

Listen Carefully
Be sure to listen carefully, not only to what they say, but how they say it. There are clues in their actions and the words they use that give you the opportunity to appreciate who they are and how they might conduct business. Without surrendering your own style of communication, make adaption’s to offer a more comfortable interaction with you.

Add Value
Add value by considering how you can help them with their business. Is there a referral connection you can make for them, or an introduction to someone that can help them move their business forward? When you strive to build a relationship and serve others, good things come back around. Being sincere and allowing that natural process to happen, with out expectation, is the key.

When you are sincere about taking time to build and value your relationship with them, they begin to like and trust you. A good business practice is to mail a personalized card with a message that acknowledges your interaction with them. People want to do business with people they trust and like and a greeting card leaves a lasting impression far beyond the time limits of any “delete” style of communication.

When I decided to create karencendro.com, my intention was, and still is, to give my readers a pleasant place to go to put a smile on your face.  I also established three ground rules to write by:  1.  Do not discuss religion,  2. Do not discuss politics, and 3. Do not discuss disciplining of children.  Having said that, I don’t think I’m breaking my rules by saying BAD TIGER.

This past Thursday, I was demoted from the position of Captain (Kaptain Karen)of the River Valley Champions….the Valley Hi Niners.  The morning of my demotion, I was still searching and searching for opening comments to make at our Christmas Luncheon.  And then it came to me……we’re women, we’re golfers, we’re pissed at Tiger..  Off to google in search of  Tiger jokes I go.

So here are my opening jokes.  Enjoy.

Did you hear Tiger changed his name to Cheetah?

Did you know the police asked Tiger’s wife how many times she hit him.  “I can’t remember,” Elin said, “just put me down for a 5.”

Ping has a new set of irons called Elins.  They’re clubs you can beat Tiger with.

Tiger’s other women aren’t mistresses.  They’re provisionals.

Did you hear Nike’s new motto?  Just do me.

Happy Winter Golfing all!

Mike and I had a romantic dinner at home last night.  Thank goodness for Kevin’s friends, movie night at Stone Lake, a sleepover at the Hultgren’s.  We were empty nesters for the night.  There’s nothing more romantic than chopping and stirring together in the kitchen.  Bumping into each other can be fun. 

Last night’s menu is from epicurious.com, my favorite cooking website. Here’s what we cooked up:  Romaine Salad with Chives and Blue Cheese, Baked Herb-Crusted Chicken Breasts, Asparagus Risotto, and a Bottle of Chardonnay to cook with and finish off.   

http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/menu/views/bamp_americanfavorites     

Everything was delicious.  Of course, we changed things up a bit.  I used an egg wash instead of brushing the chicken with oil and added grated parmesan cheese to the bread crumb coating.  It’s really important to pound the chicken to 1/4 inch.  I also baked the chicken on parchment paper and turned at the half way mark…about 9 minutes.  Mike had a great suggestion…after baking the chicken, pour some marinara sauce over it and then top with a slice of mozzarella and bake a bit.  This chicken recipe is a great base for an even better italian chicken parmesan.  Be sure to read the comments by other readers on the chicken.

We loved the Risotto.  Our Nugget Market has the best asparagus right now.  They’re incredibly thin and from Mexico.  We didn’t change a thing to this recipe.  The asparagus puree gave a great asparagus flavoring to the risotto.  I have to say, we’ve become pretty darn good in the risotto cooking world.  So the asparagus puree rocked us.  Okay…we’re goofy.  Connected to each other through food.

Last night we had our first combined young women activity with me at the helm as the new Young Women’s President.  We had a mother/daughter gingerbread activity in which each girl and her mom (or other invited guest) got to build and decorate their very own gingerbread house.

There were traditional houses using red, green, and white.  There were houses with frosting icicles.  There were houses with gingerbread trees placed carefully in front.

And then there was the “Ghetto” gingerbread house.

The cinnamon discs became too heavy for the roof, causing it to slide off.  So, a candy cane and some celery sticks from the refreshment table were used to prop up the roof.

And, of course, the “ghetto” gingerbread house was created and named by my daughter, Hoob.

She is such a goon.

My goal weight to reach by December 31, 2009… has been achieved! In fact I am 2 pounds below it! This is the weight that I was 7 years ago after I graduated from high school and spent the summer teaching in South Carolina. (Ever since then, I have consistently been up in weight) Kinda surreal, but incredible!

Total weight loss to date: 47.5 pounds

You know, a couple of weeks ago I was internally discouraged that it has taken me almost 12 months to lose 45-ish pounds. My journey started in January, with “The Biggest Loser” competition that the mission organization I had been working for at that time- Pioneers, was putting on to promote health among their employees! During the competition I lost 16 pounds. Then, that spring, I began seeing the best doctor I have ever had in my life, Dr. Scott Van Lue, with Everything Well. I started his weight management program and also began treating my recently discovered thyroid and progesterone deficiencies! Then, life got crazy that summer with beginning my internship and I got off track for a couple of months (where I also managed to put on 10-15 pounds… however, still not at my original weigh in…thank God, didn’t gain it all back!) The fall, I refocused on my goals, took up running and continued to be deeply encouraged by the staff of Everything Well and my cheerleading friends and family.

Now, do I really have any reason to have felt discouraged because I “only” lost 45 pounds in 12 months? Not really, it stems from a completely irrational thought process and belief structure. Nonetheless, it was there and I was aware of it. My latest appointment with Dr. Van Lue bridged the gap and disconnect in my brain for me. He celebrated my weight loss of 45 pounds and initially I felt he was more excited than I was in that moment. Then he told me to close my eyes and put out my hands. Moments later he came back to the room and placed a 45 pound weight in my arms. It was HEAVY (and I am a strong girl!)! He basically told me, ”THAT is the weight you are no longer carrying around with you on your body!” It was such a crazy moment for me because I felt this connection between my cognitions and emotions- they finally got on the same page and I celebrated as a whole person! It was the connector that I needed and I am committed to continuing to move toward health so that as much as is within my realm of responsibility, I am not hindered in the work the Lord has called me to.

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” -Philippians 3:12-14

EXPERIMENT my friends. Sometimes, the “new” won’t always work as well as the “old” did. With that said, you should still pride yourself on constantly trying to “innovate and create.” (courtesy of George Howard)

Today’s music market has taken all of us in the business on quite a wild ride. People’s tastes and attention spans are constantly changing and becoming smaller. Niche marketing is in and mass marketing is out. Marketing has become a 360 degree operation. It isn’t enough to just suggestively sell to a consumer, you have to make them feel that they are involved in the movement or campaign from the beginning, through the execution, through the end. For example, look at what ‘30 Seconds to Mars’ has done with the new record, Guttersnipenews: 30 Seconds to Mars. What better way to make fans feel involved than by allowing them to help with the creative process. The whole reason why they love your act in the first place is the craft itself. Everyone wants to be someone, marketing is the one arena that you can allow that to happen for an artists’ fans. Everyone must be on the same page yet FEEL they are on a different one. Human beings, by nature, strive to be different from the next man/woman. Why not cater to that?

“INNOVATE AND CREATE TO BUILD A FOLLOWING BASED ON TRUST AND QUALITY” Trusted sources are crucial now, Rolling Stone is not and hasn’t been for years now, Daytrotter is and has been developing as a trusted source for some time now. STRIVE to be on the Daytrotter side of the fence.

I’m venturing off again. Together with my friend Jim Jones we have created a new group called Southern New England Media Makers.

This group will meet the second Sunday of each month in Providence RI over breakfast.

The intent is to connect with others having the same interest of making media and social media in general. A place where we each will be given an opportunity to share what we are doing now, what tools we’re using and what technologies are available to help us make media. This is free to the public.

To learn more please visit us on the Southern New England Media Makers web site and follow us on Twitter.

We hope to see you there.

- Bruce

For those who know me know I have a passion for video and photography.

I am the creator of Go The Distance TV a web site I developed that allows me to “highlight ordinary people doing extra ordinary things”.

Additionally we will share with you many shows we produce including Travel, Sports, Music, Food and Cooking and Corporate technology and information.

In short, Go The Distance TV features ordinary people who have done extraordinary things with their lives. The hope is that by sharing their stories, others will come away inspired and motivated to find ways to “Go The Distance” in their own lives.

Go The Distance TV can be currently be seen in the following ways.

• On Doubleacs TV15
• In the video gallery located on Go The Distance TV
• Right here on this site
• YouTube and other sites you can find on the right side of this page

Please enjoy the shows!

- Bruce

A miniature example of the life-sized prototype that Kate working on: A viable idea for portable homeless shelters.

Creating Sustainable Ideas

By Janit Calvo
December 16, 2009

It’s the people that you meet, when you’re sending out your tweets!

If you are one of the millions of people that has become addicted to tweeting, you know that what happens on Twitter, doesn’t stay on Twitter.

Although, I’m not sure how it started but I think it was a post by Twitter buddy, @Clonehenge, that did it. Now, how I got connected to @Clonehenge is an interesting story too, but for today, let’s just focus on the miniature yurts.

Huh?

Yep. Miniature yurts made of home-spun wool, measuring one inch tall by one and a half inches wide. Now you know why it caught my eye. How cute would a miniature yurt look in the right kind of mini garden?

You see, they are the brainchild of Kate Pokorny of New Hampshire. Kate is out to prove that a life-sized wool yurt can be viable, sustainable, biodegradable and portable option for a house – among other things.

Now, that’s a lot of wool.

And, that’s exactly what’s going on here.

Kate has a plan to “crochet a functional yurt out of a continuous strand of felted wool to create a beautiful, self supporting housing structure.”

Reading further into this bizarre idea, it made sense: wool is a renewable and biodegradable resource. The crochet stitch is strong and reliable. The yurt is a durable structure that has proved itself already as a self-supporting housing structure. Blend these three concepts together and you have a portable house for the homeless.

I love it.

And Kate needs our help.

And we need her miniature yurts!!

Kate is keeping it real. She’s using local wool from the “friendly flocks” in New Hampshire, and with help from a nearby mill, the fleece will be cleaned and prepped for felting. This is where the donations are needed, to help fund the processing and hand cleaning of the wool, so Kate can hand-felt and crochet the life-sized prototype.

Kate has set up a website with a ton of information on how she got inspired, her research on yurts and a blog of her experience in setting up this idea. (And, you have to see the gigantic doily being tatted too! Very fun!)

Now, what about the miniature yurts, you ask?

It’s the way Kate has set up her donation schedule. For as little as $10 you can get a miniature yurt and be a part of this wonderful project. And yes, you can donate more and less than that too – and there is a perk for every donation level – check it out at the link below.

And think of how cute the miniature yurt would look in your miniature garden.

Now, think of all the homeless people that could be wrapped in wool during the frigid winter months.

See Kate’s website here.

And her secure donation site through Kickstarter here.

This morning I had the exciting challenge of living up to the introduction I received below at an event hosted by Matt Youngquist of Career Horizons:

Topic: Networking Tips, Technique & Etiquette

Guest Speaker: Sandy Jones-Kaminski, President of Bella Domain & Author of “I’m At a Networking Event: Now What?”

In this next meeting, we’ll be joined by a good friend of Career Horizons and one of the top local experts on professional networking, Sandy Jones-Kaminski of Bella Domain.  Having recently published her new book, mentioned above, Sandy has agreed to come share some of her top tips about how to win friends and influence people in the modern marketplace.  A huge proponent of the “pay it forward” philosophy, she’ll be discussing some personal stories of how she’s leveraged her network of relationships to great effect and how her constant attempts to assist others have brought her many levels of personal/professional prosperity, in return.  It should be an exciting discussion, and in the first hour of the meeting, we’ll also be engaging in some networking exercises and icebreakers designed to help all of you make some new acquaintances and become more effective at this important interpersonal aspect of the job search process.

One of the things I reviewed with the group had to do with some networking myths (included below) which I believe I adequately debunked during the presentation. My goal was to set the stage for all 47 of his guests to read the gift copy of my book (he provided them) with a much more open mind. Based on the feedback I received at the end of the event, as well as Matt’s kudos, it appears I did fairly well and I think I even achieved my goal!

What a great time I had and what a wonderful group this was to be part of today! Thanks so much Matt – you’d be hard-pressed to find a bigger fan than moi!

I don’t have to know everything…

My job is to know the people that do the things that you need done in order to run and grow your business. Whether YOU are an entrepreneur or YOU are a creative genius or YOU are a lawyer who understands the specific pitfalls of running a small business, my job is not to know everything about everything…  it’s just to know YOU.

Knowing who people are, how they operate, and whether or not they’re the right fit for each other is what I pride myself on. Sure, my wife says that having a narcissistic, self-titled blog is what I pride myself on, but that’s just a bonus.

These are some of my favorite quotes that have everything to do with effective networking:

Just like you can never receive too many gifts at the holidays, you can never have too many contacts in your network. Being well-connected connotes success and influence — the kind of cachet every serious professional seeks to achieve.
- Debra Davenport for Yahoo! HotJobs

To be successful, you have to be able to relate to people; they have to be satisfied with your personality to be able to do business with you and to build a relationship with mutual trust.
- George Ross

….relationships take time, getting to know folks requires patience, and people are generally cautious – if not fearful – of Johnny come lately that is asking, rather than giving.
-Jeremiah Owyang, Sr. Analyst at Forrester

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
- Dale Carnegie

Pulling a good network together takes effort, sincerity and time.
- Alan Collins, author of “Unwritten HR Rules”

You take people as far as they will go, not as far as you would like them to go.
- Jeanette Rankin

Last Saturday a sobbing, middle aged lady showed up at our door. She was frightened, cold, and painfully hunched over a cane she had used to hobble the three hundred yards to our home. In the four years I’ve lived here we’d never met.

Once we got her warmed up she regained her composure and shared how she had fallen, aggravated a painful back injury, and was lonely and afraid in her home. She couldn’t get ahold of her husband and had nowhere else to turn…no familiar neighbors, no kids, and no friends.

She was bright and held multiple degrees, including a doctorate. She was tough enough to hold the rank of Colonel in the US Army and had traveled the world, risking her life as a security expert. But loneliness was too much and had almost broken her.

Bottles of germ killer are everywhere these days to protect us from H1N1. But loneliness is our unseen epidemic, inflicting far more damage. It erodes our ability to handle stress and in turn maintain important relationships and productive lives.

With 17% of Americans moving each year in today’s global world, we rarely have grandparents and cousins living close by. Add to that the internet and our hundreds of TV channels that have us holed up like refugees and we rarely connect deeply with others around the “town square” as we once did. We walk alone.

This further explains, as I mentioned last week, why adults are now the biggest group of users on social networks like Facebook and Twitter, even though our kids pioneered both. We seem to be longing again for those social connections that provide identity and security.

The church should help people simplify their lives so they can rebuild those connections. What’s working for you?

You hear it all time in this country: if you want to take advantage of the American dream, think big. Reach for the stars and you will succeed. Tons of motivational speakers make a living of this very principle, telling people that the best way to change your situation is to go for it, raise the bar and “boom!” you will be a success. Is this not the greatest country in the world? The land of success? The land of the winner? The land of Big Ideas? The land of #1? If you can just ATTACK it and be everywhere at all times, YOU, my friend will be able to do this:

Now, we are not saying that vision and focus are bad things, but we do take issue when so much on the Internet and social media perpetuates this myth of THINKING BIG, ACTING BIG, and BEING #1. What is happening right now with the social media craze, is that the message is being twisted and exploited: there is so much misinformation out there that is just not true. And people are paying for this advice! Paying for it.

This is what is happening in social media: We are buying into the hype of getting the most followers, getting on the most social networks, making the most friends, being the most popular that in the end, you wonder why people feel a “social media burnout.”

You know why? Because no human being, no matter how good or savvy or sharp or connected, can be THE everyone to everyone else. No human being can constantly engage people and maintain valid relationships that matter. Sure, if you are a major brand or business, your reach might go deeper. But even then, if you don’t have 10, 20, 30, 100, 200 (or ALL your employees, like Best Buy) people pushing your brand, you won’t reach everyone.

And that is the irony of social media: by having the tools to reach the entire world (see the hype here), you in essence risk reaching no one.

The reason is a simple one: because our obsession with numbers and followers and updates and statistics overshadows the TRUE goal of social media—to authentically connect with one individual (or one brand) and establish an enduring and valuable relationship. Very few companies and people (very few) can accomplish this on a wide scale. It’s hard work. And for the other 99% of us, we wonder why we just want to just give it up. We never feel we have made #1, when in fact, we never consider how many great relationships we have made along the journey.

So DON’T THINK BIG, THINK SMALL.

So if you are using social media for your business and if you are on 20 social sites, cut it down to five. Work those five as well as you can, especially if those five are the five you know your customers, fans, supporters, buyers, partners, associates, vendors, etc. reside in.

If you just care about numbers and are not giving back to your tribe, stop and reach out to your tribe right now. Start talking and better still, listen more.

If you have lost focus and feel no one is listening to you or caring about your message (maybe because you are caught up the numbers?), change the direction, find your true personality and start small. Reach out to one, make a connection, then reach out to another. Connect. And then repeat and repeat. And repeat again. And then some.

Converse and don’t just post. Live a two-way life, and not a one-way message. No one cares about your one-way message. They don’t. You know why? Because those people who think are listening to you are also being distracted from some many things. So to stay relevant, you better (you must) make sure you are always advancing the conversation and giving to others. Prop others up because this is the right thing to do and not because you have to.

Once you are “thinking small,” big things will happen.

A special acknowledgment needs to be made to Stew Friedman for his perspective on this and how thinking small leads to more creative business leadership. Also, giving it up to Charles M. Schulz for his brilliance.

A long time ago, early December 1997, an addition came into our new marriage and new house.  Ralph.  With $10, Mike went deep into the hood to purchase a puppy.  Earlier in the year, Mike’s elderly Big Black Dog, Chester, had passed.  So I was getting a new puppy for Christmas.  It was quite a surprise when Chester’s twin walked in.  Another Big Black Dog….who had “ralphed” in Mike’s immaculate truck on his way home.

For those of you who know Ralph, you would agree, he’s a very loving dog.  He also talks.  It’s quite easy to understand what he is saying to you.  But there’s only a select few of you who truly know Ralph’s best talent.  He can, with precision, crack  a walnut and eat every speck of meat from it.  Never….I mean NEVER….eating a shell.

This morning, my 12 year old senior citizen was in a tizzy.  The nut bowl had plenty of hazelnuts, almonds and brazilnuts.  Where did the walnuts go?  I handed him an almond.  He hesitantly took it.  Later I discovered it on the carpet….uncracked.  Not good enough.

Mornings are nap time for Ralph.  I found him later over on his bed, surrounded by walnut shells.  Under the couch was a lone uncracked walnut.  I handed it to him.  He took it gently.  Ralph’s day was now perfect.  Connecting to Nutso.

I have received a last-minute request from the Bishop of our ward to do a service for a family in need.  The Bishop would like the Young Women’s organization to provide Christmas for a single mom and her two kids which are an 18-month-old baby and a 16-year-old daughter.  Items requested are clothes for the kids, a dress for the mom, a game for the 16-year-old, and a few toys for the baby.

As I presented the request to the young women of our ward in church yesterday, I was gratified to see that they were all willing to help this little family that doesn’t even live in our area.  I was even given some money by a couple of the girls immediately after presenting the request.

We only have one week to pull a Christmas together for this family in need, all donations need to be ready next Monday.  This Wednesday night we are having a mother/daughter night of making gingerbread houses.  We have asked the girls to bring any donations that they have to that activity so that we can start to organize the gifts and see what else we will need to purchase.

Though I am already short on time, I am grateful for this opportunity to serve people we have never met.  Last year our family provided Christmas for a different single mom and her children.  My kids and step-kids enjoyed providing that service, and now my daughters and step-daughter get the opportunity to serve again, along with their teen friends in the ward.  I love to see teenagers serve others instead of thinking of themselves!

It is going to be quite hectic for the next few days as I coordinate the service for this single mom as well as continue my “regular” daily activities, AND finish the Christmas shopping for my own family.

One week to provide a Christmas for a family.

We.

Will.

Do.

This.

We CAN pull it off!

The other day I did a strange thing. In my mind I said the word ‘sex’. Now this is a commonplace enough word, and what is so strange about saying it. But as I spoke the word to myself, I realised how very little in life I’ve uttered the word ‘sex’. And as I repeated the word in my mind, a strange feeling suffused me. It was a feeling of, yes, ‘sexiness’. I felt all the elements of sexiness course through me. Desire, excitement, giddiness. I spoke, therefore I felt. This was different from reading it in books, or talking about it, or hearing panel discussions on the various aspects of sex as in ‘sex teaching for adolescents’, or reading in a woman’s magazine ‘ten ways to making your sex life more exciting’. It was different from telling my partner ‘let’s have sex’, though I bet that’s not how most of us begin foreplay. It was just the feel of the word on my tongue, the sibilant followed by the vowel, and then a more complex sibilant. It was about thinking of the word, and focusing on it, and allowing the mind to drift across all the emotions that the raw, naked word evoked. It was about, dare I say it? ‘connecting’ with the word, and all its images.
I wonder what would happen if I said the word ‘happy’. It is hard to say a word. It is hard to move away from the quotidian dictionary of banal communication and achieve communion with a single word, all by myself. It is hard to silence the mind and push it to focus on the kernel where such words and their images reside. It is hard to say, for instance, ‘I’m happy’ to another person, and mean it. Far easier to give in to exclamations and hyperbole, and flirtation with vocabulary.
In the beginning, it is said, there was The Word. Indeed there was. I’m trying to locate the beginning.

It’s time to start making a list of the things you’d like to leave behind in 2009.

As I shared last year, a few years ago, my hubby and I learned about an incredibly helpful year-end tradition that we’ve embraced. For us, and other folks that aren’t fans of a new years resolution list, making a list of the things you’d like to leave behind in 2009 allows us all to create space for the things we really want to have in our lives in the new year.

Be sure you can print it though, and then on New Year’s Eve say a little “goodbye” to your entire list and do something dramatic with it like burn it in your fireplace, flush it down the toilet, bury it in the sand at the beach or in the dirt in the woods or somewhere other than your backyard (it’ll still be around then).

If you’d like an example I’ve decided to once again share mine (I’ll add to it between now and Dec 31):

Sandy’s best left behind in 2009:

Unconscious people (still working on this weed out from last year)

The excuse that I have no time to work out if I’m writing a book (I’ve joked that you too can write a book if you just stop working out!)

Acquaintances that simply do not demonstrate an interest in creating a quality or meaningful connection

Working without even the opportunity of a few decent windfalls

Netflix (boo hoo!)

Buying things that I can easily just borrow from others

Trying to remain “friends” with people that really don’t have the same core values as I/we do

Hit and runs (read more about this in my book or this post)

AMEX Rewards plan loyalty

Checking my book ranking on Amazon daily

So, that’s all I have come up with so far, but I am sure they’ll be more and here’s to a very HAPPY 2010!