Good morning friends.  Liberation is freedom.  Yes this is true.  It’s the kind of action of freeing from control or domination.  Whatever we want to do, we can do it as we have a freedom for ourselves.  

Form is a wave perceived by the ocean of consciousness in an attempt to understand its own formlessness. This duality is imagined and the sense of am-ness crystallizes as a discrete entity that thrives on other forms or cognizing entities to assert its own form. 

It seeks cognizance from other forms to recognize its own transient form. What is eternal is the formlessness that is the precursor of form.

Form is obsessed with tangibility. The sense organs are mere instruments to reinforce this belief in form as the true self. The form continues to believe it is a discrete independent entity. It has total conviction in these deceptive sensory modalities of perception.

Relativity is based on the fact that perception changes as the observer’s state changes. One form cannot understand the precise nature of another form. Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle also underlines the shortcomings of our sensory perceptive modalities, where the senses cannot determine the precise position and velocity of a particle simultaneously.

Sensory modalities can never fathom formlessness. Formlessness transcends the senses. When form has to decipher the formless it must first abandon the conviction of its own form. The brain has various centers which serve as destinations for perceptive inputs. It therefore has a strong discriminatory ability to separate the subject from the object. This discrimination is mediated via the sense organs and is the most powerful tool for effecting duality. Comprehension is totally a derivative of the sense organs.

There are many ‘silent areas’ in the brain whose exact function is not known. These areas could be mediating supra-sensory cognition, cognition that is not based on a subject-object dichotomy, cognition that uses itself to recognize itself.

When Martin O’Malley decided Baltimore was a bit too small-time for him, Sheila Dixon eagerly succeeded him as mayor of my hometown. For all the scuttlebutt about infidelity and annoying Irish Rock music, O’Malley was a pretty good mayor in my opinion, and while I haven’t lived in Baltimore for the extent of her tenure so far, I have no reason to believe the first female mayor  isn’t doing a good job, too.

But now she’s been convicted of a misdemeanor. It’s nothing big; nothing to do with paying off drug lords or getting in bed with developers or tainting the water supply. It’s much more petty than that. She embezzled $500 in gift cards meant for charity. That’s all the jury convicted her for.

Considering the awful economic situation this past year, Dixon has held the city together and prevented the kind of advanced decay larger city like Detroit faces. Even during her campaign for election to the office of mayor, a cloud of alleged corruption has floated above her. This is nothing special for a politician (and it’s not like she “palled around” with evildoers like Bill Ayers and Reverend Wright, right? I kid.)

I’ll admit I’m a bit surprised a Baltimore city jury found Dixon guilty of anything; they are notoriously forgiving for whatever reason. But most of all I am disappointed that Dixon did not simply fess up to this transgression and apologize from the get-go. $500 is less than the cost of a stop sign.

True enough, there were other allegations of fraud and corruption in this case, and it would seem that this one conviction is meant to deter Dixon from future naughtiness. Here’s hoping. But rather than confess and seek forgiveness from a forgiving city, she felt it more prudent to put her trust in the illusion that because she is powerful, she can get away with anything, especially petty things. One must lead a city fraught with crime by example, not by committing one’s own crimes with impunity. It isn’t like everyone isn’t watching; she’s the mayor for gosh sakes.

As to her future as mayor, it would seem her days are numbered. The state’s Constitution calls for removal of a public official who is sentenced for a public office-related crime. Since she’s guilty, I assume she will be handed a sentence of some kind, which means she’s out, and City Council President Stephanie Rawlings-Blake is in.  It’s a shame for Dixon, but once you’ve lost the trust of your citizens, you cannot continue to lead them. And I really doubt losing that was worth $500 in Best Buy merchandise.

In every relationship, there are boundaries that need to be drawn.  Can I do this?  Is it okay for me to do that?   This is permissible.  I will not do this.

Originally, I had boundaries for myself when I entered the relationship, but the deeper I got, the more the boundaries were torn down.  What’s a woman to do when she her old worn down beliefs come back to life and kick some sense into her and tell her that new boundaries need to be made?  Well, I, for one, am more of a doer, so when the spirit moves me, I get up off the couch and I re-draw the lines that I crossed and erased.

While I have contradicted myself, I don’t think this makes me a hypocrite.  Hypocrisy is telling others to do it one way, and claiming that I do it that way as well, and all the while I am doing the very thing I tell others not to do.  I am not telling anyone to do anything.  I am simply setting a new standard for myself.  I want to change, and so, change I will.  One thing is constant and that is that people change.  I am changing.

I am not the girl I used to be when Old Greg and I first started dating.  When we first started dating, I did some things that I thought were okay because I was so attracted to him, and I wanted him to be attracted to me.  A year ago, I would have scolded myself and told the future me that I was being a ho-bag, and I didn’t need to do those things to get a guy interested in me.  While I thought that my values had changed, the truth remains the same.  The year-ago-me was right.  I didn’t have to do those things to get a guy interested in me.

I compromised myself.  Do I regret it?  A little bit.  Am I ashamed of myself?  Well, no.  As a human being, I make mistakes, and it’s okay to make mistakes so long as no one gets killed in the process.  No one has, by the way.  At the time, I thought it was okay, but now upon further reflection, I can see the mistakes I’ve made, and I can learn and train myself not to do those things again.  Yeah, it’s going to be hard to stick to merely kissing and holding hands, but I can do it.

One big boundary I have not crossed.  With my virginity still in tact (yes, I am a grown woman and I’m still a virgin, go stick it in your pie hole and smoke it), I am finding it very difficult to resist temptation.  The reason being is that I crossed one boundary too many.  When I expressed this to Old Greg, he was upset.  He went on a rant about how my religious beliefs box me into guilt, but it’s not true.  It’s not out of guilt that I am re-drawing lines.  It’s conviction.  There’s a big difference.  I want to have a relationship based on more than just sex.  I want a relationship based on more than just sex.  After much thought, I’ve begun to realize that for me, sex is the icing on top of my proverbial wedding cake.  I don’t want a cake that consists purely of icing.  There’s gotta be more sustenance.  I need the cake part, not just the icing.  So now I have re-drawn the line.  And Old Greg does not like it.  But it’s my body, and it’s my conviction, and I shouldn’t have to feel pressured to do things that I don’t want to do even if I wanted to do them in the past.

The past is ended.  It’s over.  I’m in the present.  I’m in the here and now, and here and now, my boundaries are set.  I am strong in my convictions, but all the while, I can’t help but feel insecure.  Old Greg may be making plans to build his life with someone else.  Someone who doesn’t change their beliefs and values.  My heart may get broken, but I suppose that’s the price I have to pay for not sticking to my boundaries in the first place.

Baltimore Mayor Sheila Dixon convicted of embezzling gift cards

After more than six days of deliberation, a jury convicted Baltimore Mayor Sheila Dixon of embezzlement Tuesday, sending City Hall into confusion and putting the once-bright political future of the city’s first female mayor into jeopardy.

Baltimore Mayor Shiela Dixon Announces - I'm Going to Work

The conviction was on a misdemeanor charge of “fraudulent misappropriation of a fiduciary.” It alleged that the mayor had taken for her personal use more than $600 worth of Target and Best Buy gift cards that had been donated by a prominent local developer for the use of impoverished residents.

The jury, however, acquitted Mayor Dixon of two felony theft charges and another misdemeanor charge. It did not reach a decision on another count of fraudulent misappropriation of a fiduciary.

The verdict throws Baltimore’s political structure into disarray, since it is unclear how long Dixon will be able to stay in office.

Can she stay in office?

According to the Maryland constitution, public office holders are automatically suspended if they are convicted of certain crimes. But the state attorney general has said that Dixon will not be officially “convicted” until she is sentenced – a legal step that might not happen for months, and only if the judge rejects a number of post-trial motions her lawyers have vowed to file.

Even then, legal experts give different opinions about whether her conviction fits one of the criteria for removal: that the offense be related to the office holder’s public duties and responsibilities.

On the one side, lawyers say, the gift cards came through the mayor’s office. But on the other, she could argue that they were not directly related to any of her official duties.

“The distinction might be drawn between embezzling city funds versus embezzling funds from a charity donation kitty that was never part of city funds, and never part of her duties as mayor,” says David Gray, a professor at the University of Maryland School of Law.

Baltimore politics in confusion

For the time being, then, her status is up in the air. The confusion causes particular problems for Baltimore. The city has one of the most legally powerful mayors in the country, and little municipal business goes forward without her guidance and approval.

“The mayor basically holds all the cards,” says Donald Norris, chair of the Department of Public Policy at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County. “This really could mean gridlock … and it will probably mean that everybody is going to be walking around on eggshells until this thing is revolved.”

If Dixon is removed from office, the city council president – Stephanie Rawlings-Blake, also an African-American woman with a strong political background – will serve as interim mayor.

At City Hall, council members expressed sadness today, giving praise to the embattled Dixon, who has been under investigation for more than four years. For her part, Dixon insisted in a statement that she would remain focused on “keeping Baltimore on course in these trying economic times.”

“The city will still continue to move forward,” she said on the courthouse steps after the verdict. “This city will continue to run…. We won’t miss a step.”

Asked by a reporter whether Dixon was headed home or to City Hall, the mayor pulled her suit sleeve back to check her watch.

“I’m going to City Hall,” she said.

Much of the prosecutor’s case revolved around Dixon’s romantic relationship with wealthy developer Ronald Lipscomb, a married man whom lavished her with gifts, including (according to her lawyers) gift cards sent anonymously,expensive  flowers, a $560 pair of shoes, and $4,000 after a Chicago “shopping trip” together…

She still faces trial for Perjury related to not reporting the gifts from Lipscomb.

In my study of Jonathan Edwards, I came across a biographical section where the town he ministered in experienced a “mini” revival. Edwards wrote:

“The town seemed to be full of the presence of God; it never was so full of love, nor so full of joy….There were remarkable tokens of God’s presence in almost every house…everyone [was] earnestly intent on the public worship.”

I know I’m far from perfect; even my worship is tainted with sin and selfishness. I also know that God is not finished with me.

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6

Sanctification is a process. I want to do my part, as Edwards pursued in his Resolutions, to strive for holiness.

I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:14

Maximum Human Effort (MHE)!

With this post, I’m still setting the groundwork for my study of Edwards’ Resolutions. When I came across the quote I posted above, I instantly felt a void in my own life and worship. Unfortunately, I also see it around me in the corporate setting.

The question is: What am I going to do about it?

…it never was so full of love, nor so full of joy….everyone [was] earnestly intent on the public worship.

I don’t want my life to be described as unloving, without joy, or spiritually comatose.

Where is my love – for God, for my brothers and sisters in Christ, for the lost, for the Word of God?

Where is my joy – in Christ’s resurrection, in my salvation, in the living hope & inheritance I have been promised, in Christian fellowship?

Where is my worship – intense, vibrant, true, spiritual, holy, sanctified?

As I contemplate my response to these questions, I realize I have an opportunity even now to practice love, joy, and worship. In the personal setting which I find myself currently, I can implement the following actions, attitudes, and goals:

• Love:
  • Prayer – for lost family members and friends; for my brothers and sisters in Christ; for the sick, hurting, and dying; for church and government leadership; for missionaries spreading the gospel across the globe.
    • For my brothers and sisters in Christ – for their growth in love for the Lord and each other; for their sanctification; for their needs, spiritual and physical.
  • Personal application – studying the attributes of God (producing not only a greater love for Christ, but also a deeper humility in my heart as I live Coram Deo); rehearsing God’s grace in my salvation and sanctification; thanking the Lord for “every good thing given and every perfect gift.” (James 1:17)
• Joy:
  • In salvation – recognizing God’s grace and mercy; praising God for His love for me; thanking God for His choosing me.
  • In fellowship – giving thanks to God for His blessing me with the fellowship of like-minded believers; praying that their joy may be made full.
  • In hope – finding joy and peace in my eternal future with Christ.
• Worship:
  • Prayer – seeking to apply the various focuses of prayer: praise, adoration, thanksgiving, confession, and supplication; asking God for wisdom (James 1:5); pursuing God’s will and desiring Him above all else (Psalm 37:4-5).
  • Bible Study – observing the big picture, taking in all of God’s inspired Word, both Old and New Testaments; striving to grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus; seeking ways to apply what I learn in my daily walk.
  • Meditation – taking my study of the Bible and thinking over it throughout the day; recalling everything the Lord has done for me; praising and praying from memorized Scripture.
  • Music – orally and/or audibly, praising and thanking God through Christ-honoring music; surrounding myself with lyrics that promote sanctification and the giving of thanks and praise to God.

I find myself with the opportunity to practice these things corporately tomorrow evening at Bible study. I hope my striving for greater love, joy, and worship will be evident & contagious! I pray that God would use me as an instrument of grace in His hand to edify my brothers and sisters and to spur them on to love and good deeds!

I want to share my musings on Edwards’ Resolutions soon, but for now, I will merely post the text from the First Resolution:

1. Resolved, That I will do whatsoever I think to be most to the glory of God, and my own good, profit, and pleasure, in the whole of my duration; without any consideration of the time, whether now, or never so many myriads of ages hence. Resolved, to do whatever I think to be my duty, and most for the good and advantage of mankind in general. Resolved, so to do, whatever difficulties I meet with, how many soever, and how great soever.

Soli Deo Gloria!

Before I do any type of dwelling into my head and emotions I am big on ritual…I brew my tea make sure my box of kleenex is in reach…I do some praying to God and those he has sent for help…Then I try to read a bit of something on the spiritual side and at the moment that would be A COURSE IN MIRACLES. I have owned ACIM for many years but have never gotten too far into it, so now I am taking it in small doses.  A few friends  and I are going to do the lessons starting in January. But now I am just reading the text which is very good. It is my belief that in order to heal the past one needs to heal the spirit as well.

I have gotten to page 4….

Miracles bear witness to truth. They are convincing because they arise from conviction. Without conviction they deteriorate  into magic, which is mindless and therefore destructive, or rather, the uncreative use of mind.

I have been fortunate to experience miracles in my lifetime…and it is absolutely true they are based in conviction…and conviction is all that stands between God and I…belief and faith are one thing but CONVICTION!! Now that is something I wish overflowed in my mind. I have moments of conviction usually followed by great doubt…and doubt is like the wind it can just blow in at anytime…over walls and into caves…wind can get into all the corners of the mind. Or maybe it is more like heroin….we are just addicted. I have strong convictions of worldly things…but the stuff of miracles??? Like a shimmering light one tries to grasp and comes up empty…transforming into hope…which isn’t so bad considering the alternative.

Now for the book UNDERSTANDING THE BORDERLINE MOTHER by Christine Ann Lawson

Chapter 1 is called MAKE BELIEVE MOTHERS.

Children who grow up with borderline mothers live in a make-believe world that is neither fiction nor fantasy. Borderland is an emotional world where loving mothers resemble storybook characters: helpless waifs, frightened hermits, bossy queens, or vindictive witches. This whimsically dangerous world is filled with contradiction and fraught with emotional storms that defy prediction.

Emotional storms that defy predictions….yes that sums up the terror and uncertainty I felt growing up! for me it started when my family moved to Oregon. My parents had purchased about 40 acres that was divided by a highway. There was an old two story farmhouse already on it but when we drove up from California some local hoodlums had completely trashed the place…broke all the windows tore out all of the appliances…it was unlivable. The hoodlums were never caught as the place they had moved to was very insular…and insular people tend to protect those that they know even if they are in the wrong. Generations who become unable to distinguish between right and wrong then become the norm.

As a result of the destruction of our house we had to live in a tent. My Dad being an excellent carpenter among other things quickly built a shed for us to sleep in while he set about building a cabin. A cabin on stilts because as my brother recently told me it would have taken too long to build a foundation. During this time the State Police showed up to tell my Dad that his brother had died of cancer. My Dad was very close to his brother but because he was trying to finish the cabin before the rainy season began was unable to attend the funeral. This was almost an omen for what the next 15 years would be like.

My Dad building the cabin and me in red…always ready to fetch his tools or count out nails.

Life became more and more unpredictable the longer we stayed…and with the purchase of farm animals came more that caused chaos and stress on an already stressful situation. With the cabin a well had to be drilled..pumphouse pipe that ran up a steep hill and down again…septic a barn and fences to follow. My Dad was a hard worker naturally and did much of this single handedly.. as a child I remember mostly following my Dad around handing him tools and feeding the animals or cleaning out the barns. Carrying water to the garden or for the goats. My sister was the best worker though.

On my first day of kindergarten I got to ride the bus with much bigger people and one boy in particular used to make me want to cry..because my eyes squinted when I smiled he would sit behind me on the bus and chant Chink Chink Chink Chink over an over and I would try not to cry…but still remember the heat of hurt.

Yes we brought rugs to nap on in kindergarten!

I don’t know exactly when it happened but somewhere around this time I started my lifelong bad habit of biting my nails…still do it at 44…all emotionally driven. I remember so little of this time.

Unfortunately because borderlines were abused, neglected, or suffered a traumatic loss as children, the are desperately afraid of abandonment. They seek emotional control over others, even threatening abandonment in order not to be abandoned themselves. Their rules and expectations are vague, nonexistent, unreasonable, rigid, or unpredictably enforced. Children with borderline mothers experience chronic anxiety because the are uncertain of their mother’s behavior.

This is such familiar territory …but the threats of abandonment seemed to stem from a need to control with guilt…not out of fear of abandonment.  After the move to Oregon and with the multitudes of extra work…and I guess my parents because my Dad was in the Navy were not used to living together on top of everything else…would lay down rules but not enforce them…or rather they would enforce them sporadically. For instance brushing of teeth…cleaning our rooms. We bathed on Sundays! I think that the only rule that was enforced with consistency and regularity was going to bed by 8 and I am sure that this was only enforced because my parents were tired of looking at us!!

I will end there as the next sub-chapter is about trust and I know I will have a lot to say about that.

Until tomorrow or the day after.

Several months ago, Tom and I began a study using The Battlefield of the Mind book and study guide by Joyce Meyer.  We are going through it slowly, one chapter at a time, answering questions from it, and then discussing it with one another, so it’s much like going back to school.  It’s forcing me to chew on what I’m reading, rather than just zipping through the material quickly without absorbing it.  I’m actually learning it.  Just this morning, the Lord ministered to me using one of the key points in the book, the gist of which is, You don’t have to take ownership of every thought that comes to you.

I was putting off getting out of bed, though I’d been awake quite a while, alternating between praying and thinking about “things.”  As I drifted into thoughts about the non-relationship between one of my sons and me, and between my sister and me, the familiar trap of condemnation and guilt began to draw me in as I considered my being the common factor in both relationships.  Right in the midst of it, the Lord spoke clearly, “You don’t have to go there unless I take you there.”  Wow!  With those words, He snatched me right out of the downward spiral into which those thoughts were leading me.  My loving Daddy doesn’t want me to live that way any more.  He really wants to help me take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Cor. 10:5).  Sometimes I’m not even aware just how contrary to Christ my thoughts are, so He chose this morning to wake me up to this trap that has been my normal.

I don’t know what your specific situations are, my beloved sisters.  Be assured the Lord is saying the same thing to you, “You don’t have to go there unless I take you there.”  Turn away from that self-analysis that only sides with the accuser, contrary to what God has declared about you – no matter the situation.  Instead, take those thoughts captive, knowing if there is something in you needing correction, He will bring it to your attention at the right time and in the right way.  You will be convicted, not condemned, and will walk out of it in true humility and freedom because of His mercy and grace.

Romans 8:6 AMP Now the mind of the flesh [which is sense and reason without the Holy Spirit] is death [death that comprises all the miseries arising from sin, both here and hereafter].  But the mind of the [Holy] Spirit is life and [soul] peace [both now and forever].

There is no need to be concerned that you will get “out of balance” in this, refusing to receive correction.  That, too, is a trap of the enemy.

John 5:24 AMP  I assure you, most solemnly I tell you, the person whose ears are open to My words [who listens to My message] and believes and trusts in and clings to and relies on Him Who sent Me has (possesses now) eternal life. And he does not come into judgment [does not incur sentence of judgment, will not come under condemnation], but he has already passed over out of death into life.

How much more freely and confidently we live when led by the Spirit into correction, rather than by the enemy – through our flesh – into condemnation!  I choose God’s freedom from this day forward.  I’m not going with my thoughts into those places any more unless my Daddy takes me there.  How about you?  Freedom in Christ!

Albert Debelbot doesn’t know how baby died
Debelbot murder trial: Ashley Debelbot says she didn’t kill her 3-day-old child
Debelbot murder trial: Albert and Ashley Debelbot convicted of murder, cruelty to children
Couple found guilty in death of 3-day-old daughter

The more charismatic/pentecostal church that I’ve been at the past couple weeks have taught me a few things. First off, they’ve kind of killed a lot of my understanding of church, especially when it comes to structure.

I have had probably 15 classes in my college career that focused so much on “how church should be done” or the structure of things, and while that’s all good and what-not, I’ve kind of gotten to a point where I could care less. It’s not that structure isn’t important, I mean even the charismatics have one, but it’s okay for them to interrupt it if God speaks to them to do so. They also could care less about time restraints…

Which is quite against my nature I have come to realized.

For example, we were supposed to start at 10:00 which was when we all got together to pray for the service and something inside of me kept yelling: “Come on! We have to play! We have to play!” So I’m trying to learn to shut up and forget about these time restraints. And even though we were only supposed to play for 40 minutes, I think we probably played for about an hour by the time it was over (although part of it was us playing behind someone who was talking).

The charismatics are also more open to handing the mic over to people. Creepy right? I mean, God forbid someone other than the pastor says something about Jesus! People just walk up, grab the mic, and start talking about some kind of vision or word the Lord gave them or share a good story or testimony.

See, the thing is that I’ve been trying to find the proper structure for God to work in for years now, rather than let God BE the structure. And really, He doesn’t have that much of a structure. He’s rather spontaneous.

Also, someone came up and told the church that they were going to be taken to the next level in supernatural and people seemed really stoked about it. And I could probably say that some of them were confused about it. Around this time someone was crying and yelling very loudly. I believe he was doing so in tongues (or I just couldn’t make out what he was saying).

Some lady at the end of the service was either prophesying over us or blessing us (probably both I think). She was asking that oil would be poured out over us and soak us so that we would be so slippery that the enemy would just slip right off of us (oil is used much in the Bible for annointing). It put quite an interesting image in my head. She also mentioned that God was going to release a Heavenly song in each one of us. It sounds like we might get the band together now to start writing some music.

While she was blessing/prophesying, one of the things she said that stuck out to me was that “we had to walk in straight paths.” Or in other words we needed to stay away from sin and not let it allow us to stumble. But note this: she told us nicely. I felt at that moment that she was looking into my soul and seeing all the crap there, and yet didn’t condemn me for it. Instead it was like a… holy rebuke of some sort. Whatever it was, God spoke to me in that moment in love and conviction. Or lovely conviction! Something I am not used to.

In all honesty, I am the greatest condemner of myself. Churches have emphasized sin in a way that hasn’t helped either. And so I occassionaly get caught up in a depression caused by my own condemnation when a lot of times God is trying to just take that stuff from me. Why is it that we want to keep all that crap with us all the time rather than give it away?

Maybe you know what I’m talking about. If you do, I have a video I will be working on over the next week or so that I hope will help you get rid of all that crap. But first, I must retrieve my camera footage from some people who grabbed it after I forgot it at church a week ago.

I’m excited to see what God has in store for me as I hope to grow more in the ways of the Spirit. I’m also interested to see what exactly He is doing with music in my life. In all honesty, I was starting to lose a passion for music over the past year or so and yet, for whatever reason, it has entered back into my life in a bigger or at least more meaningful way than ever before. So God, whatever it is You’re doing, do it. Don’t let me get in the way.

It’s not a secret that my favorite Christmas movie is, “It’s a Wonderful Life.” I usually try to watch it 6 or 8 times every year and yes, it makes my husband crazy when I do. I love the end of the movie when George runs to the edge of town and reads the sign: You’re now entering Bedford Falls. He has “His Life” back. It may not have been what he perceived to be as the perfect life. But once he was removed from it, on the outside looking in so to speak, he knew it was the life that he really loved and wanted. Without a doubt it was the perfect life for him.

I’m sure everyone or almost everyone has seen the movie by now and we can all relate to this movie in part or as a whole. Its just a wonderful realization of what our lives and the people that we care the most about, would miss if anything were to change, or if we weren’t in the picture anymore.

I sat down and re-watched The Family Man – which I’ve seen a few dozen times as well… aka chick flick. I love movies that remind people what life could or should be if they have family to love and to love them back. It’s what we all strive for; some to the point of obsession. We all take a hard look at our lives at some point and make decisions on what to do to improve our daily lives. Each day; buy a new house or car, move to another house or school district, we clean, we decorate, we call friends and family, we share stories, we do all the mundane tasks that we are supposed to do, I’m not sure if its to impress the neighbors or to make ourselves feel happy, but we complete these tasks everyday.

But what if this was to change? What if you’re not here tomorrow to complete these mundane tasks? Whose job will it be then? Did it really matter to anyone if it were done? Did I make all the right choices? Change the bad things into good? Appreciate all the simple things that I have?

Think about all the simple things; things you put aside to complete all of your mundane daily tasks, when you could have spent that same amount of time making someone you care about or someone who cares about you, feel more alive, more needed or more important to you? Did you share a little of yourself with someone today? Make the right changes for you?

It’s almost Christmas, and it’s not about what I can afford to buy you, it’s about what will you remember about me when I’m gone? Was I trustworthy? Honest? Loving or Caring? Empathic? Did I only remember you as a name on a Birthday or Christmas card; sent once a year? Did I love to see you come by the house or called to say, “Hi?” If not, why? Did I not take the time to let you know how much you mean to me? Didn’t I show you that I care? Even in some small way? Did I tell you how much I love and appreciate you?

This Christmas, don’t just buy someone a gift; share a picture, a cup of tea or coffee, and/or some small part of yourself, with those you love. It’s after all, what they will remember the most, not the tinsel or the lavish gifts; it’s the love that went into it. So stop by or call and tell the ones you care about, that they are the thing that you treasure, the most precious gift you will receive this year. Your presence is the gift! Welcome Home and Welcome to the Family! And as my gift to you, “Enjoy your Wonderful Life!”

Trust is the conviction that the leader means what he or she says. It’s a belief in two old-fashioned qualities called consistency and integrity. Trust opens the door to change. ~ Peter Drucker

This past Tuesday, I just got a new book titled The Bravehearted Gospel by Eric Ludy. I must say, it’s revolutionary, it’s bold, it’s uncomfortable, and I love it. It has awakened my soul. It seems almost native to me and is almost as if it’s the cry of my inner most being that has been waiting to burst out of me since I was born.

It teaches the “manly stuff” of the Gospel, as Eric puts it. It reveals the loss of boldness in the Church in the past few decades. It’s a call to go back to the historic Christianity where men and women were willing to die for the glory of God. It reveals the fluffy stuff and extreme femininity that exists in today’s western Church.

An emergent movement has risen up in the Church that desires to move away from the old, religious, traditional stuff that was in the Church. However, it is going in the other extreme and losing it’s power against sin and fighting spirit for justice. Instead we’re basing beliefs off of the philosophies of men such as Rob Bell’s teaching on “springy” truth. We need a healthy balance of femininity and masculinity. We’re going in the wrong direction and I am willing to stand against it even if everyone is against me and falsely calls me a legalist.

I’m a man and the desire to fight for truth and justice is ingrained  into my very being. This attribute is often discouraged in modern times and it’s time for a revival of this feature to take hold in the heart of men (and women) in the Church to fight for what’s His. There is going to be no revival with fancy music, pretty light shows, and comfortable sermons. True revival will convict people and lead them to repentance. It will cause us to start seeking righteousness, holiness, and purity. Whenever we stop falsely calling truth – legalism, conviction – condemnation, and correction – judgment to selfishly defend our sins and turn away from the loving act of our family in Christ seeking to build us up (no matter how tough that is), then hearts will begin to soften and men will humble themselves before God and real revival will spread. True revival will have people on their faces crying out to God because they see the seriousness of their sin.

I believe that these two points have been widely redefined and wrongly taught in modern times: truth and love.

When you make your plans for next week, make sure you plan something for yourself every day.  Nurture your spirit and/or nurture your body.  But it must be just for you.  We get so caught up in nurturing everyone else that we forget ourselves.  Then we get flustered and nervous and are no good to anyone.

For example, today I will give myself a manicure.  I love getting out all the bottles and choosing the perfect hue to match the season or my mood.  It will be a good way to nurture my girly side and I will benefit the entire week.

When we nurture ourselves, we connect with ourselves on a deeper level and are not as prone to running to the refrigerator for comfort.  Indulging our spirits and bodies with nonfood activities is being kind to ourselves.  When we experience kindness, we feel less out of control and are less likely to bury our true feelings under food.

Until next time, find a  way to be good to yourself for at least 15 minutes every day.

Some things can never be taken from us.

Music, passion, rhythm, love, belief, faith, hunger, desire, hope, ideas, trust, determination, drive, will, persistence, valor, chivalry, freedom, heart, dedication, desperation, integrity, vision, principle, courage, character, loyalty, curiosity, dreams, wonder, convictions, amazement, joy.

They cannot be taken away. Only we can give it up; surrender it on our own accord.

Andy Dufresne: That’s the beauty of music. They can’t get that from you… there are places in this world that aren’t made out of stone. That there’s something inside… that they can’t get to, that they can’t touch. That’s yours.

Red: What’re you talking about?

Andy Dufresne: Hope.

What cannot be taken away from you today?

We should get to know our neighbors? That was one of the resounding comments after the neighborhood connection two weeks ago. We have had such an incredible response to that simple, but not easy notion. We live near each other, we walk past one another on Sunday, we sit at traffic lights together but…it just isn’t that easy to go and meet the people in your neighborhood. There are lots of reasons, many of them are legitimate but none of them are good enough to do nothing about it. Why? Because in the verse we are looking at this week in Pastor Joel’s sermon in Matthew 28 we learn that this is exactly what Christ told us to go and do. Both in Matthew and again in Acts Jesus tells the disciples their mission, which is still our mission today!

Lets listen to his words more carefully: You will be my witnesses (Acts) by going into all the world (Matthew), but starting right here at home (Jerusalem), into all of Orlando (Judea) and even the parts you may not want to go to around here (Samaria – remember the Jews did not like the Samaritans), and event o the ends of the earth. By the way, all authority on heaven and earth has been given to me and I will be with you always so don’t worry too much! See being great neighbors is the first place he lists. Why? Well it is kind of like being a good husband/father or wife/mother in the home not just out around town. If it is not happening there, the potential power for impact everywhere else is weakened. If I talk the talk at the different men’s meetings I am in but then at home am not walking the walking, the talk becomes feeble. Same sort of thing here, if we go to Africa and work all around the world for Christ but then our own neighbors don’t know who we are or what we believe then we have truly missed the greatest impact we could be having.

Here it is in a nutshell. He told us to do it. We want to do it. It is very simple, it is just not easy. So we are stepping in to make it even easier. Sign up now in one of the 12 neighborhood connection groups so you too can get to know those you live around. Eat together at some point next weekend from Fri thru Sun we want everyone to have broken bread with their neighbors. Then we want to share stories about the new friendships formed. Maybe we can serve together? Maybe we can grow together in Christ by studying His Word, sending each other favorite devotional thoughts or Scriptures? Maybe we can pray for each other and others? I bet we all start noticing each other more being encouraged, edified and built up in the faith and as a result we start living Christ like lives more everywhere, every day!

Lets try it and see together!

Poet Taylor Mali slams the prevalence of the interrogative tone and calls for a resurrection of articulating with conviction (via somethingchanged: wearethedigitalkids).

I can’t wait for early 2010. We’ve got so many awesome games coming out. Christmas in mid-winter, so it seems.

Games I Can’t Wait For:                         
- Mafia 2                                                    

     – Bayonetta
     - Dark Void

     – Lost Planet 2                                

A.J. Jacobs is doing some interesting things.  He’s the guy who read the whole Encyclopedia Brittanica, and who tried to live by all the Biblical rules for a year.  And now he’s doing a Guinea Pig Project, with a book about the various undertakings he’s gotten into as a human guinea pig.  Here’s an interview with him that I enjoyed:

http://www.smithmag.net/memoirville/2009/09/10/interview-aj-jacobs-author-of-the-guinea-pig-diaries/

Today I read an article by him in the December issue of O Magazine.  He was talking about tithing.  Listen in:  ”Since I’m a writer, I also tell myself this: one out of every ten words belongs to someone deserving.  In that previous sentence, it was the word deserving.”

He’s clever, and I’d definitely like to meet him.  Heck, I’d like to BE him.  I like these guinea pig things. My jubilee blog here IS one of those guinea pig things (“Hey… what if I actually lived out jubilee for a year.”).

But beyond being entertained, I was also touched and challenged.  If I’m going to tithe on my writing income, then every 10th word belongs to the poor, every 10th minute does, every 10th thought, every 10th project.

I’m a Christian, and I believe in the priesthood of all believers and that the work I do every day is God’s work (in that it should be honoring to Him, dedicated to His service and in line with His principles).  And then I should give 10% away, as a start.  Not legalistic shoulds, shoulds that come from gratitude.  But I don’t often think of part of my actual workday or part of my actual output as belonging to others.

Jacobs gave me something to think about, and I’m also going to go read all his books.  Though maybe not the whole Encyclopedia Brittanica.

I slept in this morning.  After a long work week, and the promise of a week’s vacation, I gave into my body’s signals not to move at the sound of my 7:00 am alarm.  At 9:00 am, my body was ready.  But sleeping in had made me groggy and unmotivated.  Thankfully, the coffee pot was brewing due – God bless my husband!  One large cup of nirvana later, I was ready for breakfast and to prepare for a local high school state playoff game. 

Now, not too long ago, I would have scoured the pantry and the refrigerator for something to stop the hunger pangs.  It would have been something calorie laden, fast, and overall not very satisfying.  I would have been hungry an hour later, and the guilt from the poor health habits would make me want to give up and give in to all my cravings.  “I’ll start tomorrow”‘, I’d think to myself.  And the feeding frenzy would begin.  As would the stuffing of the feelings under ALL THAT FOOD And lack of attention to self.

After attending numerous Weight Watchers meetings, Franklin Covey planning seminars, professional trainings, and masses, I know that all successful people in diets, the workplace, and spitituality, have a plan – a blueprint – a goal.  And it is prominent in their lives.  It drives all their other decisions.   As does my plan – a plan that consists of priotitized lists.

All of my family’s breakfasts, lunches, and dinners are planned two weeks in advance.  After I plan our meals, I prepare the grocery list.  And, yes, I shop for two weeks at a time, from paycheck to paycheck.  I used to get to the end of my paycheck and still have more days left  – and not enough food to make healthy meals for my family.  Oh, we made due, but it was depressing.  Especially considering what I had spent my money on:  clothes we didn’t need, eating out on a whim, hotel stays just for the heck of it.  Now, I buy the food first.  The money I still have left at the end of my paycheck now is amazing to me.  I can pay my bills, eat satisfying, healthy meals, and still have a little left over for recreation.

I am equally as pleased with my weekly wardrobe planning.  Wait ’til I tell you about how I never worry about what I am going to wear and whether or not it is stylish and appropriate. 

Until then, remember – Lists are stylish.

The Kansas Supreme Court on Friday upheld Benjamin Appleby’s murder conviction and “hard 50” prison sentence for killing Leawood teen Ali Kemp in 2002.

But the court reversed a second conviction — and a 19-year sentence — for attempted rape, saying it would be unconstitutional to convict Appleby twice for the same offense.

Appleby was found guilty in 2006 of beating, strangling and attempting to rape Kemp, 19, at the Leawood swimming pool where she worked. He was originally sentenced to serve the 19-year term following the sentence for , which requires him to serve 50 years before he’s eligible for parole.

source: http://www.kansascity.com/115/story/1583933.html

I read an interesting article today in The Washington Post called “Grappling with a wealth of guilt: Young heirs seek moral balance between inherited windfalls, social responsibilities.”   Here’s the Post article: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/11/19/AR2009111902137.html

It resonated with me because it raised a topic that I’ve written about here.  Here’s the line that got me: “Burke Stansbury, 33, a nonprofit administrator who inherited $1 million in stock three years ago, opened up about how his newborn’s breathing problems were forcing him to reconsider how much of his fortune he should use for his family and how much to give away.”

OF COURSE he is thinking about this.  And any parent would.  And no one would fault him (or should, in my opinion).

I wrote two posts about this; here’s a link to help you find one, which can lead you to the other: http://jubileeyear.wordpress.com/2009/04/08/children-are-the-exception/

I was taking exception with my own inclination to use money to spoil my children (who do not want to be spoiled, thank you very much), money that could otherwise truly solve problems or address needs for others.  This is a totally different thing than using our own money to meet the serious needs of our own children.  Like Stansbury would naturally be inclined to do.

So wouldn’t it be cool if we would use our big bucks to help other people’s kids with their breathing problems? Stansbury sounds like the sort of guy who would.

This sure relates to the notion that we don’t have adequate healthcare in America until everyone has adequate healthcare.  I want my government to use the wealth it has to take care of everybody’s newborns, and toddlers, and teenagers, and parents and grandparents.

We’ll probably all need to give twice to see such things happen.  And we should.

CRB checks/disclosures are the documents issued by the Criminal Records Bureau (CRB).

Disclosures are a means for an employer or regulator to verify somebody’s answer to the questions:

-      “Do you have a criminal record?”

-      “Do you have any unspent or spent criminal convictions?”

-      “Does your name appear on the ISA list of people barred from working with children / vulnerable adults?”

To ensure that employers receive sufficient information, there are three levels of Disclosures:

• Basic Disclosures will show only current unspent criminal convictions held on the Police National Computer. They will generally not include motoring offences other than causing death by dangerous driving or driving with excess alcohol.

• Standard Disclosures make the same checks as the Basic Disclosure but will show both unspent and spent convictions, including Police Cautions, Reprimands and Warnings. However, from 12th October 2009 it will no longer give access to the ISA barred lists.

• Enhanced Disclosures cover the same records as Standard Disclosures, but will also give access to the ISA barred lists for working with children and/or vulnerable adults. They will additionally ask the local police if they have any intelligence that could be relevant, such as known offenders, pending/failed prosecutions or current investigations.

N.B. CRB Checks are different to “Police Checks”, which are documents issued by the police at the request of an individual asking for a copy of any data stored on the Police National Computer about them. This information is provided under the Data Protection Act and is therefore only for the personal use of the subject and nobody else has the legal right to ask to see it.

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