Courage can come from many places.  Sometimes it is just in you, hiding just out of your reach, until you need it.  One of the parts of my treatment is the daily injections of insulin.  When I was in the hospital, I had an IV that had insulin.  After that the nurse was giving me the shots up until the last 2 days.  I was given a video tape to watch and a book on how to do it.  I watched and read, and re-read. The best place to inject was your stomach.  Man, I was worried.  How can anyone do that.   I opted for the second best place, my legs.  I was never able to do it like the “pros” do it.  You know, like throwing a dart.  One, two, three, go.  I probed, found a place that felt like it would not hurt, and slowly pushed the needle in, waited a second, and pushed the plunger down, slowly.  Then quickly out.   I can’t do that in my stomach.  I also read in a lot of blogs and forums, others feel the same way.  Then I got to thinking to the future,  I have to do this 4 or more times a day.  For the rest of my life.  Wow.  More thoughts.  When I am at work, and I need a shot of the juice, I have to pull down my pants to do get a dose.  The only place to do that is in the bathroom.  Would medical personnel give someone a routine shot in a BATHROOM?  I got to give me a shot in the stomach.  It really was that bad, the same method as in the leg, probe, insert needle, slowly plunge, out of there quick.  Not bad, I can do this.   That worked for the bolus, the fast acting insulin for meals, usually a small dose, under 10 units.  The Basel, long acting insulin,  was a different story.  A much bigger dose,  3 times as much as the biggest  bolus.  Those would have to be in the leg, those were given at night, home alone.  Until one day, the probing could not find a spot that did not hurt.  Took a long time to give me a shot that night.  I finally decided, found the courage to do the basel in my stomach.   I needed it, I found a spot on my stomach, on the first probe,  WOW, no different than a bolus.  Preservation of my life caused the courage I needed to “shoot up” in my stomach.  Inner courage, a great thing.

I believe a lot of people, myself included, find courage on DOC – Diabetes Online Community.  I have a few links for some sites on my links page, and on my side bar.  I hear it said many times, “Knowledge is Power”, well I want to change that a little bit.  ”Knowledge is Courage” .  If you think about it, courage is power, a power over something that causes you angst.  In my personal diabetes experience, much of my fear about the disease is displaced  by learning, reading about others experiences, how others have overcame some issue or another.  Just knowing that others have faced many similar  issues,  similar questions, and best of all similar victories, you can too.

Learning about how diabetes works, what doesn’t work in your pancreas, what insulin does, what food (specifically carbs), protein, fats, fiber do to your blood sugar, can give you the courage to manage your life or  a loved one’s life.  It can give your the extra “umph”  to reach a little deeper to grab that little bit you didn’t know you had.

If you do something that you think is noteworthy, note it.  Use a blog, a social site, a local group, anywhere, as I believe that you will encourage courage in someone he needs just a bit to get through the next day, hour, minute, or even the next few seconds.  You have the rest of your life to get done.

Star date:  2456185.513889

I was also told that a representative from a local adult support group would contact me as well.  I am looking forward to that.

My life is all about T1, now, but sometimes I feel I don’t fit in anywhere.  While I felt welcomed and comfortable at the fall carnival, most of the people there that were my age, were parents or someone that has been living with T1 for a lot longer than I have.  But my motto is “Never Give Up”   In a city that has almost 5 million people, I am sure that there are others out there.  I just need to be more involved.

If you are interested in becoming a JDRF Advocate, you can visit their About JDRF Advocacy page .

If you have an adult support group already and in the Alpharetta, Norcross, GA, area, please email me using my form.

Star Date:  2456180.256944

After reading that I realized I have not wrote anything for a while, I need to correct that .  I thought about different things to write about,  how I moderate and modified my eating, and remembering how I was eating before, or grief over my dead and dying beta cells.  I was doing research on the stages of grief, and having a chronic illness.  Did you know, there are as few as 3 and as many as 10 stages of grief?  But  I really was not finding anything that I thought would be useful here, until I found this article “ Living with Chronic Illness, by Elizabeth Holtzman”   .

The first point  is chronic illness is a result of medical advances.  I had to think about that one a minute or two.  But I can see that.  In my case, less than a hundred years ago, I would have died shortly after I was diagnosed, the same holds true with  many other diseases now known as chronic. Without medical advancements, many people would not only be dead from illness, but injury as well.  I have also been reading about how some diseases have cures, cancer has been rumored to have a cure since I was a teenager and a more recent one found for diabetes.  However, the medical and pharmaceutical industries have found money making machines, and  keep the cures from being “found”.  I find that a little bit far fetched, I cannot, will not believe that there is such a cold feeling and greed among so many companies and individuals for that.

The second point, has one of the most interesting perspectives I have seen so far.   I liked the whole article, but towards the end I found this wonderful paragraph.  I was unable to find a contact for the writer, so I will not use her words, but basically she says, if you have a chronic illness, you search for a balance to improve your life.  You need to learn about your illness, to manage it, and accept limits, and appreciate what you have apart from the illness.  Inspiring to me.  Reading that made me think again,  I am doing the correct things, by researching, learning, applying, trying, and regrouping and trying again.

Balance is key.  Finding what time you can devote to your life before your diagnosis, and managing you life after.  I may never find bliss, or even complete happiness, but if I want to have the most enjoyment from life, I have to find what suits me best.

Yes there are times when I get burned out, and wonder if I can go on, but I remember, eventually, about what I have, and what I want to accomplish still.  The bouts of burn outs will probably continue to happen, but  with all that I have learned, hopefully they will not be long drawn out affairs.

star date:  2456174.522222

I got some test results back today,  but still not where I set my goal. But headed in the right direction.  My HBA1C or simply A1C  is 8.3.  My short term goal is in the 7′s, longer term to get down to 5′s.  Considering that my number was never below 10 for a long time, and that it is almost down 1 point in 3 months, it is a victory.

A1C represents a person’s estimated average blood glucose over the last 2 or 3 months.  What happens:  glucose reacts with hemoglobin (contains iron and carries oxygen in red blood cells) and is called glycated hemoglobin. The higher your glucose, the more of the glycated hemoglobin is found in the blood.  The average life span of red blood cells is 2 to 3 months, that is why it is explained as a 3 month average.  I also read that A1C is rated more heavily for the last 2-4 weeks.  Meaning, to me, there is a sliding scale for the final number.  How the lab can tell if a cell is an old cell or a new one, I haven’t a clue. This is a real simple explanation.  There is some more science to all of this, but if you are concerned with your A1C, I suppose it is enough to know keep you glucose low, and you can expect  to have a better (lower) A1C.

I have tried different ways to lower my A1C, and daily blood glucose; more insulin, less food, different meal times, different diets, different combinations of these things until I think I found a one that seems working for me now.  I try to eat 30-35 carbs per meal, at least one piece of fruit every day between lunch and supper, sometimes a treat for being good, chocolate covered peanuts, better known as M&M’s  (The peanuts are more of an excuse to eat chocolate, but it is usually the chocolate that I really want).  I eat pretty much the same things, the same ingredients for my meals, just prepared in different ways.  For example, whole wheat pasta, I make sometimes with tomato sauce, sometimes with just a bullion flavoring or like macaroni and cheese.  It all has about the same number of carbs, just tastes different.  It makes counting easier that way. Most everything else I eat can be worked out the same way.

At the beginning of this journey, I wanted to know what I really could and could not eat. I wanted as little change as possible.   I soon realized, reluctantly, if I wanted to be in control, I would need to change a lot. I make most of my meals now, fast foods and frozen tv diners are out.  I don’t eat very much meat, and now eat almost all plant proteins. That was more for high cholesterol, more than diabetes, but that change has helped with both.

Back to little victories now, I know I still have a little more to do, but I feel I am winning.  You can too

star date:  2456166.031250

My 1st year after diagnosis, I went to see a couple of different doctors, for different things, one was checking me for cancer, found nothing there. The other was my primary care doctor, an internist.  I saw him 2 or 3 times the first year, got my IC ratio, my basil almost right, prescriptions fixed all up.  Found out it was cheaper to buy 3 month supply of insulin, than just a month at a time.  On the last appointment that year, my doctor gave me a prescription for my insulin and other supplies  to last for a year.  So I thought, I did not really need to go back until I needed more supplies.  I don’t remember the doctor giving me any other instructions otherwise.  In my life before I had little experience with doctors, never for illness, only injuries. You always get instructions, come back in a week to check.  I don’t remember hearing other instructions from the doctor, the other times that I saw him, he made a point to give a follow up appointment before I left. The last appoint before,  I brought up about getting a pump, he gave me his opinion (I was not in control, wait a little more), he put me on a sliding scale for insulin dosage, gave the prescriptions, and sent me away.  The last time I seen that doctor, was when I needed a new prescription, I was unpleasantly surprised. The nurse first scolded me for not being back sooner, and asked who was taking care of me.  She scoffed when I said me. Then the doctor came in, some more scolding.  Even more disheartening, he threatened not to write another prescription, just too much liability, for him (??).  I didn’t say anything, but thought it is my life you are threatening. I really had to get control to not walk out, I didn’t have enough insulin to last more than a week or so, I had to take it.  I was happy when I left with a prescription, for another year’s worth of insulin. Needless to say, my test results were terrible, 11.5 A1C, high cholesterol,  I should have found another doctor, but didn’t, opting for new insurance, when I could change in about 8 months.  I did however, use the internet and social sites, JDRF and ADA sites to get help.

During that last year, I was depressed, and not sure how I was going to deal with everything.  Fortunately, I made it thru the year, got the new insurance, and a new doctor, who in turn referred me to an endo, who in turn started me going the right way with diabetes. It has only been 8 months, at the time of this writing, since the changes, but it is sooo much better now.

If I would have just given up, gave in, I would probably be in pretty bad shape now or worse.  By not giving up, I know I have a brighter future and a good confidence that I can make lemon aide, complete with a sugar substitute , from the lemons I have been given. I am happy to report in January my A1C was 10.0 and in Mar was down to 9.2. Still bad, but progress.

I just noticed, the bad part is much longer than the good part of this post. I am not going to change it.  Instead, I will say, the bad is much more work, than the good.  If you are “lazy” like me, and want to work smarter than harder.  Do stuff the good way, much less work.

Star date:  2456161.465278

Daily coping when your body doesn’t make it’s own insulin is a combination of food, testing, delivery and  testing again and trying to understand what is happening on the inside.  I also try to be aware of how I am feeling,  like if my blood sugar is low or high. I am lucky in a way,  I can “feel” both, sometimes I can’t distinguish if the sugar is low or high, I just know something is wrong.  Thus the need for testing and test again.

Daily when I wake up I test my blood, the involves a finger stick, a drop of blood applied to a test strip, a meter reading.  This is when I decide what to eat for breakfast. I have wake up patterns, but depending on something unseen, a normal reading will last a couple of days or weeks, then low readings for a while, then high readings for a while.  I don’t really decide what to eat, but rather how much.  I like when the test shows low,because I am usually hungry, I can eat a little more.  I don’t like highs in the morning, I eat less, and feel hungry most of the morning.  A couple of hours after breakfast, I test again.  If the sugar is low or normal, and I still feel hungry, I will eat some nuts or a granola bar.  If really low, I have an excuse for M&M with peanuts .

During the work week, I usually have something that I made and froze just for the occasion.  Where I work they have a couple of microwaves in the break room, so heating up the food is not a problem.  I have tried several times to pick up some “fast foods” but they have never worked for me.  A test before and a couple of hours after eating is a must.  About a year ago I tried a hamburger and fries, and had high sugar levels for 2 days.

I live about 10 miles from work, so about an hour before I leave for work I test to make sure I can be safe driving.  I always have a banana or apple to eat for this part of my day.  Sometimes I need to use more insulin, sometimes not, but I always eat the snack.

Supper is almost almost always made for this occasion.  The only caveat here is I will usually make extra to freeze for lunch later on in the week.  Another finger stick and more insulin before eating is in order.

Before going to sleep, another finger stick, insulin (if needed) and depending on my “cycle” for morning sugars levels, I might eat a little bit to try not to go too low during sleep.  It is not fun to wake up at 2 am to take care of lows.

That takes care of just eating.  There is more.  I have an emergency bag that I take with me any time that I am going to be away from home for more than an hour. The emergency bag has an extra battery, a couple insulin reservoirs, a couple of infusion sets, the device to insert the infusion set for my pump.  I also have some alcohol prep pads, a couple of syringes, glucose tablets, a glucagon kit, extra test strips and  lancets.  Depending on when I last changed my reservoir, I may also carry around insulin too. Almost everything in there gets rotated too, and replenished as needed.

In my desk at work, I keep a battery for my pump, at least a dollar in change for the snack machine,  an old test strip container to keep used test strips and usually some glucose tablets.

In my car again I keep some change and glucose tablets.  I also have one of those portable coolers that plugs in to the lighter outlet and keep about 10 packets of sucralose.

After I was diagnosed I never had a real emergency, but I hope I am prepared for one.

I try not to miss work too often.  If I don’t feel well because of diabetes, I go to work, and try to deal with it as best I can while trying to do the normal work.  I let everyone know that I have diabetes, and feel like too many missed days give not only me, but everyone else with diabetes a bad reputation.  I don’t make a big deal of it either, however if someone asks, I try to give them an answer and give a positive impression.

I started this blog as a means for me to cope.  Many times it helps to get out there and just say something.  On my links page is another coping method. I visit some of the sites there daily just to see if there is something new and interesting.  It is also reassuring for me to know, that others have the same issues and questions and learned how to deal with it all.

I don’t have too many bad days anymore. And bad days are not as severe as they once were.  I think because of what has been become the above “routine” and with research and understanding about diabetes.

Star Date:  2456159.171182

Of all the supplies that I need those are by far the most expensive, and wasteful.  Without insurance test strips cost somewhere around $1 per strip.  I use at least 4 a day, but can use as many as 10 on bad days.  With my current insurance, it is about $.15 each.  Here is where the problem is:  each strip is one time use only.  I tried to put a used strip in the meter one time, and it complained, loudly.

Diabetics have been complaining for years about the costs of these tiny strips.  Manufacturers say  the chemicals and metals used, cause the cost to be so high.  These are the manufacturers that give away the meters that can only use their strips. While some other manufacturers that don’t give away meters, sell strips for about 60 – 70% less.

From the above 2 paragraphs I have 2 ideas to help lessen the burden on those of us, that know frequent testing is key to good control, and good control is key to living a long, healthy life.

The first idea, recycle old strips.  I understand that the strips use chemicals that may not be able to be recovered and reused, but the metal should be able to be recovered and reused. I have read the metal is gold.  I have also read in different places where used test strips are found all over the place, under couch cushions, bottom of purses.  One person found a trail of them on the way to the gym they used.  Lets start a recycle campaign for strips.  Keep your old strips in an old container they came in, turn them in when you need more, and get a discount on new strips.  That simplistic idea saves on 2 things, the gold recovery, and maybe reuse the container, may be cheaper to sterilize and refill than to make a new one every time.

The second idea, don’t give away free meters, make some of profit on those as well, not just a loss.  Manufacturers that don’t give away meters, are able to sell strips for less.

A recent article on test strip costs can be found here.

Star Date:  2456158.232293

Most people, if they are used to drinking alcoholic beverages moderately shouldn’t encounter much need to change their habit, unless they want to improve their health. Alcohol, called “ETOH” in medical shorthand, has 7 calories per gram, higher than carbohydrates and proteins at 4 grams, but not as much as fat which has 9 grams. So, you can see that there are a lot of calories in a form which easily turn to sugar in ETOH.  The usual guidelines are one drink per day for women, or two drinks per day for men, and the maximum is 2-3 for women and 3-4 for men.

How much alcohol is considered a “drink?”  One-half a pint of ordinary beer or ale (8 ounces), 1 -1/2 ounce of liquor, sherry or vermouth type beverages, 4 ounces of most wines, and 1-1/2 ounce of liquors. If the cocktails have sugary mixers, then that is even more sugar to be concerned with.

What can happen with too much alcohol? Well, basically, when you drink ETOH, your blood sugar levels are likely to increase, signaling your liver to slow down production of glucose for you. Combine this with oral anti hyperglycemic agents (blood sugar pills) or insulin, and you can see that hypoglycemia is a real possible threat.

So what can you do? You can carry some snacks, enjoy some bar food or have a meal beforehand. You can make sure your beverages have mixers that are no or low calorie. Conventional mixers like fruit juices, cola, and some tonics, for example, are loaded with sugar.

One strategy I recommend a lot if people want to appear to “joining in ” and not stand out is to have a glass of mineral water with a twist of lemon or lime between your cocktails to lessen the amount of alcohol, and you’ll look like you are not any different than anyone else. (Now, that option is offered in direct response to the question. My own coaching would involve around clarifying why “fitting in” is so important when contrasted with a progressive, life-threatening disease process.)

I also think it wise to keep your hard candies, sugar tubes, or glucose tabs handy, and have someone there who does know you are diabetic and can watch out for the signs of hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) which, in a party environment, could mimic drunkenness to the unaware bystander.

It’s through motivational health coaching, that we know through research, that we help people with these seven areas. The areas include:

(1) Making Healthful Food Choices

From understanding the glycemic load of foods, learning to read food labels, understanding serving sizes and how to measure foods, what carbohydrates do and the difference between “good” and “bad” carbs – food is a complex issue. Subject to many “triggers” in life we can help coach to learn those emotional, cultural and environmental factors that may put the diabetic person at risk for poor choices.

(2) Body Activity

Meaningful movement can help reduce excess weight, rev up the metabolism, lower blood pressure, enhance a sense of well-being, and reduce stress. Health coaches work to help each individual come up with his or her own plan and activity choices to maximize health.

(3) Monitoring the Numbers

Most people with diabetes need to monitor their blood sugar levels,  their carbohydrate counts, minutes of physical activity, weight, and some key indicators of their physical well being like blood pressure, blood lipid levels and testing schedules. Coaches talk with individuals who may have questions and help individuals to formulate questions and find resources so that independence in knowledge and ability is fostered and understanding what numbers mean is realized.

(4) Medication Scheduling and Adherence

Since Diabetes progresses and can impact all levels of the body and body systems, we promote coaching so that each person can understand what the medications are intended to do, how they work, and what to do if medicines are not being used by choice. There are side effects, and we understand. We promote a plan to bring in medical advice and over site if this is an area that needs attention.

(5) What to do if…..

People with diabetes need many skills with varying blood glucose levels, being sick, or running out of medications or traveling. There are many areas that may need to be addressed such as where to get supplies, identifying obstacles to putting a plan to work, barriers that not realized such as emotional triggers, unanticipated changes in life styles and complications. We coach to help come up with individual coping maps.

(6) Personal Risk Reduction

Some risks can be reduced by eliminating over consumption of alcohol, smoking cessation, better food choices, using medications the right way, and also by improving test-getting behaviors. Regular eye examinations, dental examinations and foot sensory testing can identify early problems and start treatments early to minimize damage over time. Carrying current medication lists can be important to emergency personnel. Coaching to help understand the testing schedules and what they do, and how to find out result ranges and what they mean are available.

(7) Coping with Diabetes

Being diagnosed with Diabetes often brings with it a set of assumptions, unknowns, and fear. We are here to help clear up some of the muddle, and help promote motivation to know, improve, and avoid! If there are barriers, the “motivational interviewing” technique we use helps you SOAR in this area – we know we can help you isolate your barriers, goals, and plans. We want you to keep “up,” so that your diabetes doesn’t deteriorate your health.

In other words: we’re in your corner!

The purpose for giving these medications is to help make better use of the available insulin producing capacity in the beta-cells of the pancreas.  We talked a little in the last post about the dangers of low blood sugar as a side effect from insulin, and this danger continues with the use of oral medications, too. The risk of hypoglycemia is increased by up to 21 percent with Metformin, and up to 24 percent for thiazolidinediones.

Additional difficulties with gastrointestinal (GI) problems occurs more frequently as a side effect, and as a nurse, the difficulties of diarrhea and nausea are those that I have heard most frequently as reasons that people intentionally do not take the medicines their doctors have prescribed for them. With Metformin, the risk of GI problems can increase as much as 63% with thiazolidinediones increasing this risk by 36 percent.

Congestive heart failure has been associated statistically at .8 to 3.6 percent range for thiazolindinediones, and no risk association has been established for Metformin.Peripheral edema is swelling associated with the farther ends of the arms and legs – which also means that blood flow to swollen areas is compromised. Metformin presented no associated increase in the risk of peripheral edema, but thiazolindinediones are associated with increased risk in various studies from zero up to 26 percent increase in the risk of this happening while taking the drugs.

If you are on any of these medications and have questions you can get individual information from your pharmacists or your prescriber. I don’t advocate anyone just stopping medications without consulting with the one who prescribed them for you. You and your provider can have a conversation if side effects keep you from taking your medications – perhaps there is another medication or a more natural option that you can tolerate better.

Almost all type 1, and many type 2 diabetic persons are on differing types of an injectable medication called insulin. Derived from animal sources, insulin is injected from once to several times a day to help metabolize sugar that normally would go unassimilated in the blood stream.

In Complementary Prescriptions Journal (May 2012), Gene Bruno writes that one of the most feared adverse effects of insulin use is hypoglycemia, a compound word that means there isn’t enough sugar available for cells to use. In a study conducted in the United Kingdom in 1998, 2.3 percent of type 2 diabetics who were treated with insulin experienced major hypoglycemic (low blood sugar) attacks. As everyone with diabetes, and those who treat or counsel them, knows: the recommendations are toward having a hemoglobin A1c at or below 6.5. At 6.5 the average 90 day historical blood glucose readings were averaging in the 125 to 140 range, which is clinical evidence of welll-controlled diabetes. Lately, the drive has been toward establishing 6.0 as desirable, yet when A1c is at 7.4 or below, the statistical risk of hypoglycemia increases significantly (Annals of Internal Medicine, 1999). Hypoglycemia causes faintness, and untreated can cause damage to many body systems. Repeated, recurrent or chronic hypoglycemia has been associated with morbidity and death (Diabetic Metabolism, 1994).

Another risk associated with insulin is weight gain. In the United Kingdom study type 2 diabetic patients treated with insulin gained 4 kilograms on average more than those not on insulin therapy. Patients who remain on an established medical regimen, who engage in exercise and who restrict caloric intake in the study were able to counteract or accommodate the weight gain.

Many nutritional supplements have been studied exhaustively and can be part of an overall, comprehensive program of diabetes management. Some supplements can include Bitter Melon to help with glucose metabolism, Goat’s Rue, Cinnamon hellps with blood sugar balance and decreased body fat, Vitamin B6, Chromium, Vitamin D3 and chromium picolonate.

Ultimately, the person who has diabetes must make the choices that support participation in the management of their disease process at the health behavior level. This reflects the partnership between the person and his or her health care provider. Many providers welcome questions and suggestions from their patients for inclusion of supplements that are likely to increase stabilizing blood sugar levels.

As an RN Health Coach in the integrative health model, my suggestion is to become familiar with some of the interventions from the natural supplement realm and talk it over with your provider. There are full protocols available for physicians and providers to use.

Non-medical choices available are: low glycemic index diets, regular exercise, yoga or gentle movement, meditation or other relaxation techniques.

I will talk about oral medications and side effects in another post.

NOTE: I am a registered nurse, not a medical doctor. The information is not intended to be a replacement or substitute for consultation with a qualified medical professional or for professional medical advice related to diabetes or another medical condition. Please contact your physician or medical professional with any questions and concerns about your medical condition.

If you or a loved one have a diagnosis of diabetes, pre-diabetes or metabolic syndrome you are far from being alone. Did you know that approximately 11% of the population of the United States has one of those diagnoses? According to diabetes.org, that’s about 97 million people. Diabetes is one of the fastest-growing chronic diseases in today’s world.

One of the most powerful interventions that can slow down, or halt the progression of many diabetic-related complications sits squarely in the hands of the person diagnosed. The days of “physician-directed” care and the “patient compliance” model are long gone. Health care is a partnership between health care provider and the person being treated. The key her is partnership, open communications, and access to information.

It is my intent, through this inaugural blog to help empower you, the reader with accurate information that you can ask your provider about, and take into consideration when making your own decisions about health. My role as a professional registered nurse and health coach is to have those conversations with you individually (if you are a client) and help you isolate particular areas in which you would like to develop skills and have a safe, confidential place to discuss those matters. If you are a reader of this blog, you will still find a lot of great information going forward and learn skills like:

- how to have a plain and assertive conversation with your doctor

- secrets of self-care that you may not have heard of

- keeping up with those numbers your doctor gives you and learn why they are important

- find out why you need more timely information than you may remember from the first time you went to diabetic education

- updates on ever-evolving nutritional sciences

- what to do if you aren’t following the instructions your doctor gave you

- what things should I be doing for myself and what should the doctor be doing?

- what are risks and what do they mean to me?

Going forward, we’ll be looking at these and developing skills in key areas to create your best healthful life with diabetes. Those key areas will include things such as how to make sound nutritional choices that fit your tastes, lifestyle, nutritional needs and cooking skills; moving your body and how it helps generate better health; those blood value numbers and why you should know what they are; lifestyle challenges for those with diabetes and how to cope with them; risks and what you can do about them; what those medicines are that you are on and what to do if you can’t take all of them; and we’ll talk about being prepared for the unexpected with diabetes.

Stay tuned for updates and write in with questions.

Diabetes is so limited -

It cannot cripple love

it cannot shatter hope

it cannot corrode faith

It cannot destroy peace

It cannot kill friendship

It cannot suppress memories

It cannot silence courage

It cannot invade the soul

It cannot steal eternal life

It cannot conquer the spirit

Listen to over 50 free Diva TalkRadio programs using the handy player on the Diva TalkRadio page of  www.divabetic.org  New diabetes radio shows added monthly. Callers welcome! Diva TalkRadio Studio Line: (347) 215-8551. 

February 2009 my better half started to feel unwell.  He kept saying he didn’t feel ‘right’ but couldn’t really put his finger on anything in particular.  He had started a new job and was working shifts so we just put his tiredness down to his body clock getting used to the change.

The tiredness started to concern me as he would quite literally fall asleep at the table as soon as he had finished eating his tea.  We didn’t really think it would be down to anything serious but then one day a colleague at my husband’s work suggested he get checked out for Diabetes.

Having checked out the symptoms on the internet everything started to make sense.   We knew of family members who had type 2 Diabetes but this type is usually diagnosed later in life.

We both knew he needed to get booked in at the doctors ASAP but we were going on holiday in a couple of weeks and you know what it’s like trying to get an appointment at the doctors!!

Luckily for my husband managed to get an appointment the following Monday.  His appointment was with a nurse practitioner who told him he couldn’t possibly have Type 1 Diabetes as he was too young and too fit.  If anything she thought he had Type 2!  My husband persisted and managed to get an appointment for a blood test on the Wednesday in the hope that he would get the results before our holiday the following Monday.

Blood test done and Friday came . . . . . By 3pm he hadn’t heard anything so we presumed all was ok and packed everything for our holiday to Center Parcs.  We tried to carry on as normal but I knew something wasn’t right.

On Saturday hubby picked up some cheap reading glasses because he said his eyes were hurting.  I asked him if I should do the driving to Nottingham for Centre Parcs but he said he would be fine  (and yeah partly because I am a woman and he doesn’t trust my driving )

Monday came and off we went for a much-needed family break.  The journey only takes about an hour and we set off early so we could enjoy a full day.  If you have ever been to Centre Parcs you will know how action packed it is and we had pre booked so many activities.  You will also know that it is a mobile reception black out as its tucked right inside the forest.

We only got chance to touch down after we had unpacked our bags and settled in the villa for the night when my husband noticed he had a missed call from the doctors.  On ringing to find out what they wanted he was told that there was a note on his file saying the doctor needed to speak to him.  Unfortunately he had left for the day so she would get him to ring back the next morning.

8am came and the phone call which changes our lives.  The doctor wanted him to go back home that day.  We asked if it could wait as we were on our family holiday but the doctor was adamant that he needed to see him.

So the first full day of the holiday was spent with hubby zooming back up the motorway for more tests and me trying to keep 2 young children amused while I worried myself to death as to what was wrong and not being able to speak to hubby as I couldn’t get a phone signal!

Eventually I got a text saying he had been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and had to go to the hospital to get kitted out!  At the time it felt like a relief but I think I must have still been in shock.

I didn’t know enough about type 1 Diabetes but at least it had been diagnosed.  I suppose part of me thought he would be sorted out with tablets.  Oh how wrong I was . . .

My husband arrived back on site at 6pm with more equipment, needles, and paperwork than I could shake a stick at and was expected to learn it all over night!  Because he wanted to get back to us he had literally driven home, had another fasting blood test to confirm his blood sugars, gone straight the BRI and been given everything he needed to keep him going for a week.

We were looking at the prospect of my husband having to inject insulin for the rest of his life!!!!

Upon first being diagnosed with diabetes, many patients ask can a good diet keep diabetes at bay. Most doctors will agree that a good diet, low in carbohydrates and sugars can help a person with diabetes avoid many of the complications that often accompany the disease. While a good diet can not necessarily cure the illness, a good diet can keep diabetes at bay.

People who have diabetes have a difficult time processing foods such as sugars and starches. Instead of processing normally through their system, they stay in the system and turn end up increasing the glucose in the bloodstream. When this occurs, it is called glycemia – which is too much sugar in the blood. People with Type I and Type II diabetes both suffer from having too much glucose in the blood. As the glucose does not digest normally, it causes problems with the kidneys, liver, eyesight, heart and blood circulation in general.

Depending upon the stage of their diabetes, a physician will normally prescribe either medication or insulin. Both help the body process the sugars in the blood, to break them down and allow the patient to expel them. However, insulin and medication are no substitute for a healthy diet. Just because a person is taking medication or insulin does not give them carte blanche to consume all of the sugar and carbohydrates they can get their hands on. It is absolutely essential that a person with diabetes not only take medication or insulin as directed, but also adhere to a diabetic diet. This means getting familiar with which foods should be avoided and which foods can be eaten sparingly.

The Glycemic Index was established in 1981 to rate which carbohydrates are the worst for those with diabetes. The carbohydrates that are high on the list, such as white bread, take longer to digest and should be avoided. Carbohydrates that have low scores, such as brown rice, can be eaten in moderation. It is very difficult for anyone to avoid carbohydrates completely, which is why familiarizing oneself with the Glycemic Index is so important in the treatment of diabetes.

In addition to carbohydrates that rate high on the Glycemic Index as well as low, there is also an intermediate group. It may surprise people to know that a chocolate bar is rated in the intermediate group on the Glycemic Index. This does not mean, however, that one should feel free to consume all the chocolate they want. The purpose of the Glycemic Index is to help individuals establish which foods should definitely be avoided and which foods are okay in moderation.

So, can a good diet keep diabetes at bay. The answer is yes.

While it cannot cure a patient of diabetes, a good diet low in foods that have high ratings in the Glycemic Index and high in proteins can help an individual with this condition live a longer, healthier life. Until there is a cure for this potentially life threatening condition, it is important for all people who suffer from diabetes to familiarize themselves with the Glycemic Index so they can better understand how to control their disease.

A person with Type I Diabetes must be on insulin for the rest of his or her life. This does not mean that they cannot lead a long, productive life. In fact, people who are diagnosed young in life become accustomed to the treatment and are generally more compliant than those who are diagnosed with Type II diabetes later in life and who tend to ignore many treatment options.

Years ago, a child who was diagnosed with Type I diabetes had to inject himself every day with insulin to remain alive. Today, however, insulin pumps are available that make daily injections a thing of the past. A person with Type I diabetes, as is the case with those with Type II diabetes, has to watch their diet and avoid certain foods high in sugar and starch.

In 1981, the Glycemic Index was developed at the University of Toronto that rated those foods diabetics should avoid on a scale system. Some foods were very high on the scale and took a longer time to process in the system, causing more strain on the kidneys and adverse affects on insulin. Other foods were low on the scale and digested at a slower pace. For years, it was commonly assumed that sweets were the cause of diabetes at that these were the only foods to avoid. With the advent of the Glycemic Index as well as other medical studies, it became apparent that sweets were not the only foods to avoid. As a matter of fact, a baked potato, often seen as a nutritional substance, is actually more harmful than a candy bar.

Carbohydrates are the bane to diabetics. And this is the food group rated on the Glycemic Index. People with Type I and Type II diabetes must limit their intake of carbohydrates. Certain carbohydrates, those rated low on the Glycemic Index, can be taken in smaller quantities. Those on the high scale should be avoided at all cost.

People with Type II diabetes are generally diagnosed later in life. This condition often effects older people and those who are obese. The incidents of Type II diabetes has mirrored incidents of obesity in the United States and most in the medical community agree that there is a clear link to obesity and the development of this disease. People with Type II diabetes do not process enough insulin to break down the glucose in their system and cause their kidneys to work overtime in getting rid of the waste. While some people with Type II diabetes are prescribed insulin, most are started on a regiment of medication.

Physicians generally hope that by taking medication as prescribed, exercising, eating the right foods and monitoring their blood glucose levels, they can avoid the use of insulin. In many cases, patients are very successful at maintaining good blood sugar levels by modifying their diet, exercising and losing weight. Others who are not successful usually end up taking insulin.

As with both Type I and Type II diabetes, there are complications. These complications such as heart disease, nerve damage, kidney disease and skin disorders can be avoided if patients comply with the instructions of their physician, learn about their disease and do all they can to manage it. Diabetes is far from a death sentence. With proper maintenance, those with Type I and Type II diabetes can live long and happy lives.

She’s far from alone. Many writers say that having huge international sales and dozens of books published doesn’t stop that niggling sense that it’s all a fluke, rather than an achievement born of hard, persistent work and talent. The feeling is so common it has a name – The Imposter Phenomenon, popularised by Dr. Pauline Rose Clance whose book first exposed the problem. Writing about the chronic self-doubt hidden behind a mask of success, Dr. Clance said a staggering 70 per cent of successful people in America find the condition stops them from enjoying what they’ve achieved. Inside they feel like a fake, attributing their success to every reason except ability and brains. Men are every bit as likely as women to feel this way. Clance’s book lists 20 questions to determine how affected you are by Impostor Phenomenon. She also says she’s talking about people who, by any objective measurements, are genuinely successful rather than people who shrug off compliments out of false modesty, or claim credit they haven’t earned.

The Impostor Phenomenon Dr. Pauline Rose Clance

Some of the problem starts with children encouraged to be smart and high achievers. If  the family brags about a child’s achievements to others, rather than to the child themselves, the child gets no idea of how well they’ve done. More may be made of one B grade than a string of As. Other families move the goal posts so each achievement is seen as a step toward a far-distant goal, rather than something to be celebrated in its own right. If we buy into this deal, as writers often do, we forget to celebrate requests for manuscripts; praise by editors; and even offers of publication, until the work can feel like an unrelenting grind instead of a passion.

My first books were non fiction titles like Growing and Using Herbs, Coping with Diabetes, and The Changing Face of Australia. Despite steady sales, my family barely acknowledged them as books. It took the Society of Women Writers making a fuss to convince me that I had written a “real” book. Even now, relatives ask when I’m going to write “my best seller” as if 26 million sales worldwide barely counts.

While Impostor Phenomenon may be hard to cure, my solution is to accept praise with a simple “thank you” rather than dissembling. I try to celebrate milestones and above all,  enjoy the process of writing which was why I became a writer in the first place. And I make sure others around me know when they’ve done well, even in small things. As a sign in a nursing home said so beautifully, “Don’t tell me what I’m doing wrong, tell me what I did right.” Does someone tell you what you’re doing right? Do you tell yourself? I hope so.

Valerie

http://www.valerieparv.com

On Facebook and Twitter @valerieparv

I’ve also started going to the gym, at the UST Sports Science Laboratory, it’s the laboratory for College of Rehabilitation Science students. I’m glad I met Jose, the student who attended to me, he gave me my fitness regimen and stretched me after I slaved for more than two hours. Here are the exercises I did that day:

adaptation exercises

I went to TV5 last Thursday and one of our PAs asked me when can she take me out on a date without me counting calories. “Kelan ka na pwede’ng kumain? Yung masarap na masaya?” and I told her I can eat anytime, so that day, she treated us to Butterfinger Ice Cream and I blew my calorie intake, I felt bad after. The following day, I treated myself to another ice cream, this time, PARADiS’ Chili Chocolate Ice Cream with Saffron:

it's sweet, cold and HOT at the same time

I don’t know how many calories it packed, so I can’t be sure really, but I didn’t get to finish it and it has chili, which can burn away the fat, and I still had around 1,000 calories to spare that day, I’m pretty sure that if I went overboard, it wasn’t as earth shaking as it was when I had the Butterfinger Ice Cream.

And then I remembered my mantra from long ago, “life’s too short” and now it’s too short for me not to enjoy the stuff I love. So I decided that I’ll still count calories, I’ll exercise, but when opportunities present themselves for me to enjoy myself, I won’t stop me from enjoying. I also designated Sunday as my no counting (although I still do) calories day (or if I do, I won’t feel guilty about it). Until 6pm today, I consumed just a little over than 1,000 calories, but then after that, I decided to give in to the German Franks I’ve been dreaming of since I saw Drew wolf down one at the Cinemalaya screening in CCP. I didn’t bother putting that one in my SparkPeople Nutrition plan. I also opened the pack of chocolate rice crackers from MUJI and it was so gooood! So worth the cheat.

so yummy. it has the same effect as royce's chocolate potato chips.

Okay, so while this post is entitled “Trying my best to be healthy”, it doesn’t look like I eat healthy at all. But trust me, I do! And I devote almost an hour everyday to work out. It’s just that I haven’t completely abandoned the good things in life, what good is life anyway if we’re not going to enjoy it? I believe that what I’m doing is better than not doing anything at all, don’t you think so too?

Luc Clairmont: [at confession] Each time I tell myself it’s the last time, but then I get a whiff of her hot chocolate, or…
Madame Audel: …Seashells. Chocolate seashells, so small, so plain, so *innocent*. I thought, oh, just one little taste, it can’t do any harm. But it turned out they were filled with rich, sinful…
Yvette Marceau: …And it *melts*, God forgive me, it melts ever so slowly on your tongue, and tortures you with pleasure.

- Chocolat, 2000

I am writing this blog for two reasons:

Firstly, I see this as my diabetic diary and will be something of a cathartic exercise for me. I am a bit of a rarity, and have no one in my family with the condition. This has meant twenty years with no one to share notes and learnings with, or to tell me not to beat myself up about making mistakes with my care. I have found that i large part, outsiders looking in offer well meaning critiques, but forget to appreciate that on occasion, life gets in the way and that sometimes, it’s not always possible to function like a robot! This diary will be my way of venting and of sharing and I hope that it will make me and others, feel better.

Which brings me onto my second motivation for writing this blog. It will be my way of sharing – with anyone who’s interested – my experiences of living and coping with the condition. I’ll be covering the goods (yes, there are some!), the bads and the uglies. I’m aware though, that the subject matter is a little dark/sad/depressing. Diabetes is serious. Diabetes scares me. I’d like just to flag-up from the off, that I’m not a dark and depressed person, and diabetes is not my be all and end all. But, while I’ve found the medical care I’ve received to be pretty decent, there’s been little or no emotional support. I read somewhere that 95% of a Type 1 diabetic’s patient’s care is administered by the patient themselves. Considering the daily burden that I experience of injecting, monitoting blood sugars and eating sensibly, I think that’s probably a fair assessment. With that level responsibility, and with it, the knowledge that in making mistakes you risk the short term embarrassments of hypos or even collapsing, or the long term shames of permanently damaging a scarily long list of body parts, inevitably comes pressure and emotional strain. I therefore think it’s important to air these strains and in so doing, of lightening the load.

In a few weeks time, I will be ‘celebrating’ – I that’s the right word – my twentieth year as a diabetic, and tomorrow, I will be starting my first day on the D.A.F.N.E. course, which I’m told, offers a new, different and better way of managing life with diabetes. Which seems to me, a good time to start my blog.

D.A.F.N.E.

D.A.F.N.E., for those who don’t know, stands for Dose Adjustment For Normal Eating. The DAFNE site in the UK, isn’t helpful in summarising what’s involved, but from what I can gather from my Diabetic clinic, it is a week long course, that provides patients with the skills and know how, to calculate exactly how much carbohydrate they’ve eaten, and to inject the appropriate amount of fast acting insulin against what they’ve just eaten. The premise is, that someone with Type 1 diabetes, would then be able to eat what and when they choose, and in this sense, be ‘normal.’

As someone who still grieves for the healthy body they no longer remember having, I am not naive enough to believe that I will magically become ‘normal’ at the end of this week. Testing one’s blood sugar and injecting insulin before eating, can never be considered ‘normal.’ But I will happily accept that I stand the chance of at least eating a normal diet, one that can be dictated more by my own whims and fancies and less by what my dietician tells me I should be eating.

I also cannot wait to rid myself of the ‘guilt factor’ that I experience most days in some form or another. ‘Guilt’, that I have just eaten or drunk something I probably shouldn’t of, and will pay the price for in the next ten minutes. ‘Guilt’ that I’ve just forgotten that I am not normal and that if and when I take my eye off the ball for a while and inject too much, too little, forget to inject at all or even forget that I’ve already injected. Having the skills and know how to correct these dalliances with normality will be a life changing experience for me. I am excited and grateful, that I am being given the opportunity to make my life better.

I hope that I’m not expecting too much from this course. I’ve been on the waiting list for a year and a half, which is long enough to build up one’s expectations, especially when the last year has been particularly difficult in my life as a diabetic. Here’s hoping, eh! I will keep you posted…

Take care.

If left untreated diabetes can be fatal. In acute cases, complications can range from hypoglycemia on into a diabetic coma. Long-term and yet serious complications can include cardiovascular disease, chronic renal failure,and even retinal damage. Immediate treatment of diabetes is paramount, as well as control of blood pressure and lifestyle factors such as smoking cessation and maintaining a healthy body weight. In addition to all your attempts there’s Syntra 5,it can lower blood sugar, cholesterol, triglycerides, and blood pressure.

Be Well!

http://yolandanp.offershop.us/fitness/Syntra-5-Offer

http://greatpurchases.net/fitness/Syntra-5-Offer

Just this month when I returned to the doctor they told me that they found protein in my urine. The lab report he was reading was 6 months old so you could imagine my worry. Stress in my life had built up and to make a long story short you could say that I was a wreck about what is going to happen now.

So I do what any pro active person would do…I Google it! To my amazement it just upset and worried me further after all the doctor isn’t going to see me for another two weeks! This is crazy…I think why must I wait so long. His explanation? He wants to start me on my new medications and get my level down some before he does more lab work.

Sitting on my hands to keep from ravaging my nails I wait my two weeks. This time when I go in he wants to run more lab work. He ups my Glucophase to 750mg 2 times a day and my Lantus to 25 units a night. He adds a pain medication called Tramadol 50 mg 1-2 2tims a day for pain and some headache medicine I cant even pronounce! [Amitriptyline] 25mg 1 time a day. And sends me home with a shot for flu, a shot for pneumonia, and a poke for blood…still nothing about my protein.

Now I am crawling with anxiety! What am I to do he doesn’t want to see me for 4 weeks. However the nurse called a few days later saying the doctor wants me to take another medication and I can pick it up at the pharmacy tomorrow! He now says my cholesterol level is high.

So when the stress is building up…what type of things can we do to lower our stress levels?

Stress can raise our sugar levels, or blood pressure and cause our medication to become less effective on our diabetes. Below are a couple of things I am doing to lower my stress level why don’t you share yours as well!

Listen to music- Music always calms my nerves and sometimes helps me burn calories!

Write – Sometimes writing about the problem helps us manage it better or gets our mind off of things

Play a game with your kids- Sometimes playing a game with family and friends helps us re-leave tension.

Take a nice warm bath! Bubble is always best. Since it is not healthy for us to use hot water a mild luke warm bath wouldn’t hurt. Adding bubbles often helps with soothing stressors.

Send in your stress re-leavers and we will add them to our list!

until next time,

Be pro-active in your health!

Forms of Diabetes:

Type 1 Diabetes-

Type 1 Diabetes or Insulin Dependent Diabetes Mellitus [also known as Juvenile on-set Diabetes] Is a form of which the body struggles to produce the cells that remove insulin from the body. This causes a build up of sugar throughout the body. This condition can lead to heart attack, stroke, blindness, and nerve conditions. 5-10% of the diagnosed in the U.S have type 1 diabetes.

Type 2 Diabetes-

Type 2 Diabetes is a condition in which the body doesn’t get rid of glucose because it doesn’t use Insulin properly. After a while the body can not produce the insulin and requires insulin injections. This condition is also known as [ Non-Insulin Dependent Diabetes] or Adult on-set diabetes. It accounts for over 90% of all diabetes diagnosis in the United States.

Gestational Diabetes-

Gestational Diabetes is a condition when the mother is diagnosed at pregnancy. The insulin is not effectively used and there is also a build up of Glucose in the blood. This condition is usually gone after the baby is born but it can be an indicator of problems with diabetes later in life. Sometimes insulin is require to keep the glucose levels down. Gestational Diabetes is most likely in African Americans, Hispanic Americans, or Native Americans.

For more information on Diabetes and what it is visit the following sites:

American Diabetes Association

Juvenile Diabetes Research Fund

Right Health

Until next time,

Find the Knowledge, and the Power to Fight!

www.dirtydaydreamsonline.com

I have always been a sickly child and have had the majority of illnesses, immune system weak and bad circulation, all bearable, that is until I put my feet on you and you feel blocks of ice.

Turned vegetarian of my own accord at the age of 8, as I went off meat before I knew where it came from, so apart from wrapping up warm and avoiding animals that did not breathe, I tried to be a happy, caring individual who helped everyone and tried not to get stressed.

In June 1998 I started to feel ill and very tired all the time, thinking it was because I was working for a company that was using Trichloroethylene with out the proper ventilation system and even wiped things down by hand with it straight from the drum with gloves but no masks. I soon after this left the company and went back to make stained glass windows, it was a few months on and I started to notice that things I once saw very clearly became blurred.  As the tiredness kept getting worse the doctors kept testing me for anaemia, so I started to drink lucazade and eat glucose tablets along with the iron pills to keep me going, then the first set in, I have never known anything like it, I did not want the drink, I needed the drink and downed it like no ones business, hence needing the loo, as always but more often and desperately, I could not even go 15 miles with out needing it, so if I wanted to go into the city, I use to time it with pub opening times so I could stop off on the way through.

My life started to be nightmare; I would not go any where or do anything apart from work.

Week after week I was in and out of the doctors having blood tests for three months, asking do I have diabetes, no they kept saying you have no keatones, right so Im blind as a bat driving, drinking more then a camel, tired all the time, and I never sleep in the day, Im a night owl, and peeing a lot, hello.

Eventually they got so feed up with me that on the next blood test he said, ok I will tick sugar levels, this is now November.  The next week I get a phone, Hi can you please come into the surgery.  This is it I though, I can never eat chocolate again, if that was my only worry.

So off I go, stopping of at the chemist before and grabbed a Ribena and a twix bar, shovelling it in to be defiantly in the surgery. Then they take me into a room, prick my finger and tell me that my sugars are hi. WHY THE HELL DID YOU NOT DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU MOROONS.

I was 30.3 plus awaiting the twix and drink to kick in, as I came out of the doctors room I saw a lady I knew from the village “oh my god whats up” she said , Im a diabetic I sobbed uncontrollably.

A tear sodden me, drove round the corner to my partners house, met his sister and waited for him to take me to A & E, well I had suffered this long an other hour or so is not going to make any difference, beside it was dark and I could not see 5ft ahead of me.

Once at the hospital, guess they were waiting for me, rushed through and insulin injected into me, first thing I said 10 minutes later, I can see again.  This was a Friday night, a consultant was suppose to come and see me, no its the weekend, he didn’t come round until Tuesday.

As much as I hated it in the hospital surrounded by 3 elderly ladies that died, I did meet a very special person, who I befriended and she taught me how to play scramble at the age of 18, how bad is that, never the less we are both ill with different things and often snuck out for a crafty cigarette, at this point the stress will kill me quicker, unless the hospital bugs get me.

I was in hospital learning lines for an am dram production as Cinderella, which was in the January, my friend came with her sister and her children to watch, we met up a few more times you know how lie is and she sadly passed away later that year I think, she ad a condition where the more exercise you do the more fluid fills up in you, but she had a great sense of humour and I will never forget her telling me that when she thinks she may get lucky, it means she does not have to do any house work as it is exertion and start her fluids off.

And there is me think I have it bad.

Any way on the Saturday in hospital the nurses say you have to learn to inject yourself, I have a few piercings so needles are not a problem and I am so Pi**ed of by now and look like Quasimodo because of all the crying that I grab the needle and ram it into my leg, there can I go home now. NO, Mr I don’t work over the weekends is not here to check you over. I have a Levellers concert to go to on the Tuesday night so Im going if he has been or not.

It first hit me went I was at the concert, I went to the bar with my partner, looked at him and said “ I don’t know what I can drink” luckily he had know someone with diabetes for years and knew a little about it and replied what you always drink, diet coke, normal makes my teeth squeak, good job I cut my sugars in my tea from 4 to 1 before I became sugarly challenged.

So in 1998 November 24^th I started on 6 Units of Human Mixitard 30 in the mornings and same at night.

The mood swings and the tantrums, flying of the handle at every little thing, busting in to tears all the time, its like being permanently on a diet and pmt all the time, I cant handle living with me let alone friends, family and partner.

I remember my first Hypo, sitting there just sewing or trying to hand sew neatly, and I feel like I have been hit across the back of the head with a cricket bat, then as though some one has just walked over my grave followed by hot sweats and then the shaking starts, Im a giant vibrator, this could make sex interesting, that’s before I pass out into a coma I thought.  I had glucose tablets at hand but felt sending mum down the shops for some chocolate would be a better idea, but chocolates not all that great when you have to eat it especially in a hurry, takes all the fun away.

A few years go pass and my overall blood count is not looking good, I go from an average of 6. something into the 12’s, so they adjust my insulin, change my insulin, which made me worse then say I refuse to change insulins.

I creep up to 3 injections a day, change to nova rapid, then Im introduced to a 24 hour insulin Lantus and 4 injections a day. I was suicidal at 3 injections let alone four, I feel trapped my routine I would not mind if I actually felt healthy by trying to keep myself alive but I feel like crap every day and have to fight and push myself all the time. I just want to sleep, I ache all over and my muscle knot up all down my back because of lymph glands, reactors in the brain, nerve endings all doing their part in trying to keep up. The head wants to get up and do things but the body is definitely not willing, so do I still try and fight it, make myself do things and possible make myself even more worse of or do I rest. I DON’T KNOW. Tried both same result total exhaustion.

A few more years pass, I started to suffer with hot sweats with excessive sweating, even I could not stand near my armpits and I had only washed them half an hour ago, like a rubbery cat pee smell, its disgusting, wanting to pass out, constant shaking like hypos all the time, admittedly I was very stressed at work, I started to drink more vodka because I just could not handle anything, escapism is a wonderful thing when you have a hangover.

I kept asking the diabetic clinic about all these things, don’t know they said one of those things they said, so I said is it the insulin, oh know that wont effect you. WRONG. Had it not of been for my new partner being a salesman (that’s not the point) and talking to a customer who started having the same symptoms I would not have twigged it was indeed the Lantus 24 hour insulin.  On the internet I go and on the phone to Diabetes UK there is another 24 hour insulin called Levemir.

I collate my information about side effects of Lantus which is similar to Hypo symptoms and confront one of the diabetic nurses, can I please swap and try this one, yes they are trying to swap every one over anyway. HOW MUCH DO THESE GUYS GET PAID TO MESS ABOUT WITH OUR MEDICATION FOR THEIR OWN GRATIFICATION. I had to change insulin once as they had discontinued the one I was used to, luckily I don’t think that one effected me.

Having been on Levemir for a year or two now the sweats are minimal, my whole body went cold again with in 24 hours, not that I like being cold its just I knew things were getting back to normal and I was not trying to pass out anymore. A slight success.

They did want to put me on 5 injections a day, well I politely-ish told them an answer and have carried on with 4 now currently taking 4u nova rapid morning 4 u Lunch approx 18u evening and 20u Levemir before bed. I do hate putting a needle in myself if I can not stick a lump of metal through afterwards, it’s a waste of a needle and a pointless exercise.

So nearly 10 years on fighting bouts of depression with out antidepressants as all the doctors keep trying to throw at me, just walking in to the diabetic clinic is enough to make you want to die, its so stagnant in there, plus the text book consultants they keep trying to get you to go on this dafne course for 5 days, I say if you pay me to take the time of work I will go. Basically ask for a food sheet, it’s the total amount of carbohydrates you eat in one sitting you have to work out how much insulin you will need, chips are evil as they do not release in to the blood system straight away they wait 15-30 mins then hit you all at once, so from injecting to eating chips you could have a hypo as the sugars have not hit yet, sp while you treat the hypo the chip sugar kicks in and whammy, you are sky high, pasta is another one but not as bad, it’s a slow releasing carbohydrate.

It has taken me over 3 years to get an answer from the eye chap to confirm if diabetes can have laser eye treatment, I am feed up with having 4 eyes and steaming up when I walk indoors, not being able to watch a 42 inch television with out glasses 6ft away from me. The answer is yes but the way you can have eye surgery.

As I am a bit of a vodka vulture I did admit that I had stopped binge drinking at a weekend and now spread it out nearly every night, so constantly binge drinking, it’s a two edge sword or in my case my glass has a hole in it and my liver is evil it must be punished. No I said this may be a reason my sugars are all over the place in the mornings, I also asked why after a few does my levels go low, then a few more say, they go up, I was told that vodka has no carbohydrate in it, depending what you mix it with, in my case diet coke, so there was not explanation they could give me and warned me to eat something before I sleep in case I fall in to a alcoholic hypo and not wake up. But if vodka is made from potatoes or grain surely it has carbs??

One of the scariest things about having a hypo is, if it creeps up on you and attacks quickly, it seems to take longer to go, this can depend at what and how long your levels have been running at to when you have a hypo as well, by it gives you sea legs, I often find I have to crawl to the kitchen to find sugar, I have a concrete floor which is nice to lay on in a hypo due to the sweats. The clinic tell me that people get aggressive while going through hypoglycaemia, I on the other hand, feel slightly panicked, and suicidal, I have to force myself to eat anything as when you have a hypo the brain starts to shut down and send me into a almost euphoric state, as you gently start shaking you just feel like you are slipping away and want to go to sleep, that’s when you have half a brain and have to make a decision to eat or not, fun hey. This is after being smacked round the head by a cricket bat, waking over your grave and start shaking before your legs go to mush.

I personally have my death planned out, first, surround yourself with tnt, eat as much chocolate you can, all the things you have had to restrict yourself with, until you want to pass out, then light up a cigarette and kaboom, death by chocolate with out the baking and electricity bill, perfecto.

On thing diabetes does give some people, well maybe just me, but if I tell you it may help some one, it’s the weight gain issue, for years they said no weight gain, crap, Lantus is a bugger for it, Levemir neither adds nor looses but it does steady your weight out. When you first get diabetes, many people lose weight, as diabetes usually is contracted through being over weight and diet and all that jazz, I weighed 7 stone, I could not physically lose any more weight, but I did lose height, my feet shrunk and my fingers went slightly thinner, I still have chubbers but not as chubby.

Also the amount of insulin you take can make you feel like a failure when you have to up it, you think oh my sugars are high im fat, I wont eat so I wont inject. It’s a physiological mind trick, you have to look pass that factor, the body gets use to the insulin and you will have a natural increase as years go on, I am still not fully there but you have to try and ignore the number game in the sugar levels and the units you take because an eating disorder on top of a diabetic diet is not going to do you any favours.

Many factors can cause diabetes, and if you ask you will get told, its one of those things. I think to except something you need a cause or a reason, I don’t have one and I don’t think I will ever except the fact I have it, I know I have got it and I deal with in, mostly by ignoring the fact that I have got it until the shakes start and reality kicks in, although I am getting better at it, I think. Indecisive behaviour is also a diabetic trait along with memory loss. I had a memory of an elephant, now I struggle with what I had for breakfast, great for a 28 year old.

I know people say live life to each day, and that all very well after you have slogged your guts out at work to pay bills to be knackered and not have the money to live to every day, but it is the nights you worry about, each time you close your eyes you wonder if they will open again in the morning or will you have hypo in your sleep and not wake up to treat it.

It does not matter what words you use for diabetes it is still a disease, whether you say, illness, condition, ailment, it is a DISEASE. I do have other symptoms besides diabetes but I am lucky, I could be a lot worse off, and this is something that we all have to remember, what ever your problem, there is always someone worse off, does not help you at the time as this is your particular problem, but when you start to grasp your condition just think of all the other people out there.

My Nan is an inspiration, 70 something years old, felt ill one day, doctors came and gave her a steroid injection, silver bullet they use to call it, deteriorated her veins, her legs whet cold, the chiropodist nipped her toe, it went black, doctors filed the note to prescribe antibiotics and she had her toes off, legs still cold they tried angioplasty, several times in each leg, then amputated one leg below the knee, operation a success just did not work for her, veins were to far gone, so they took the leg above the knee, the amputated the second leg the next year.  I don’t know how she done it, but through the anger and the tears she is still here and keeps me smiling and supports me with all her advise and wisdom. A true lady of determination.

Do I have a conclusion, not really, it’s a work in progress kind of thing. I bottle it and bottle it till I explode, thinking im the only one going through this and wonder if anyone else is screwed up by diabetes, so I am telling it like it is from this diabetic.

IT SUCKS. Blindness, kidney failure, liver failure, amputation all benefical players in this game and scare tactics the doctors use as well, but not to be sniffed at.

I also have a thing on my leg, it started out as a lump by my ankle, much like an eyeball, I massaged it down once, a year later it popped back up, doctors diabetic clinic did not know what it was, soon it moved across my leg to my shin, as skin is closer to the bone and not as fleshy there, it elongated itself, went all bumpy like a mountain range and went angry red, it is call Andy because of its mountainous peaky texture, technical term Necrobiosis lipoidica a skin condition that usually occurs in patients with diabetes occurs in approximately 3% of the diabetic population, with the majority of sufferers being women. But they don’t know the actually link with it to diabetes. They will send you to dermatology who will want to do a punch hole biopsy just to confirm that it is actually necrobiosis, then if it is they will want to put steroid injections into it, having looked it up on the internet, I refused all treatments and would not let them perform the biopsy, for once it blisters and ulcers you are in trouble, best for they have found is UV light therapy, have not tried it, but upping your daily in take of protein through beans and pulses is a start and you can dress it with clear honey for half an hour every night and wash and vitamin e cream, It can go as quick as it appears, Andy has been with me for about 4 years now in his red angry stage and takes on a different colour or shape now and again, did go to a herbalist, but they had never heard of the condition, herbalists treat the patient which in turns treats the symptoms, but I am impatient and at £40 a time to eat squid ink and mercury, I decided to give up.

Mine looks like the left hand side

Now im going to have some chocolate after my rant.