Pena, vergogna, orrore, ruina, morte, vilipendio, sacrilegio e offesa al culto dei defunti. Al confronto, la partita di Madrid con Simoni in panchina è stata una dimostrazione di forza, bellezza e personalità. Saponetta fa i miracoli solo a frittata fatta. Maicon non lo sopporto più. Lucio e Muntari hanno gareggiato a chi ha il Q.I. più basso: ma la macchina non ha registrato segni di vita cerebrale. Chivu non fa più nemmeno pena, solo tristezza : e Caressa si rammarica per la squalifica contro il Rubin, invece di sottolineare l’unica nota lieta della serata. Zanetti, il solito, stucchevole compitino. Cambiasso sta scivolando mestamente tra le riserve, e in Europa non ne ha mai azzeccata una : sul che mi attendo un illuminato parere dagli intellettuali che onorano questo blog con la loro frequentazione. In vita mia non ho mai visto uno giocare male come Motta ieri. Stankovic tenta il pallonetto a porta vuota : hanno ritrovato la palla a Plaza del Toro, ma non a Barcellona, a Madrid. Adesso ho capito perchè ci hanno dato Eto ‘o. Milito è più lento di Galante, ma non quello che giocava con noi, quello di adesso a 36 anni. Proporrò una legge di iniziativa popolare che prevede carcere obbligatorio sine die per chi fa giocare Muntari a Barcellona. L’unico a cui non va bloccato lo stipendio è Samuel. E quello è stato preso per vincere la Champions ! Gli diamo dieci mln e passa all’anno ! E adesso mi toccherà sorbirmi gli sbrodolamenti lessico-concettuali di Moratti, quando ci vorrebbe un bel provvedimento alla Gaucci : tutti in ritiro sine die a Chieti Scalo, pensione una stella, acqua fredda e unico bagno (sporco). Così quando uno dissente, come disse quello, ossia gli viene la dissenteria, vai con la caccia al pannolone ! Poi mi toccherà sorbirmi Mourinho che invoca lo stadio pieno contro il Rubin. Come no ! Deve essere pieno di cecchini pronti ad abbatterti quando ti leverai dalla panchina. Il problema è che non ti abbatteranno, perchè sono stati addestrati a sparare ad altezza d’uomo, come ebbe a dire l’immortale Tonino S. (v. post memorabilia, non ricordo il numero).
Giuro su quanto ho di più caro : il primo che trovo che mi parla di quinto scudetto consecutivo lo abbotto di calci nei coyotes. Lo faccio diventare la regina della movida transgender, altro che via Gradoli e via Due Ponti ! E nessuna spesa per il chirurgo estetico : i connotati glieli cambio io, gratis e in unica soluzione.

Ho quasi finito le parole. Se il compianto Rimbaud era ancora vivo e ieri stava a San Siro a vedere giocare Lucio, e quando lo scriveva Il Battello Ebbro ? Come già comunicato al Siderale, nell’Akragas o nella Puteolana Suazo oscillerebbe tra panchina e tribuna, con netta prevalenza di quest’ultima. Se non passiamo il girone, petizione popolare per cacciare Mourinho.

Source: http://listverse.com/2009/07/21/10-more-incredibly-bizarre-mental-disorders/

Here is a countdown list of 10 very unique mental disorders, which are not commonly discussed in society or in the media. Some of these may shock you.

All mental disorders are of course no joke at all for the sufferers and should be taken seriously. If you know of anyone with such symptoms, please do seek professional treatment immediately.

10. Synaesthesia

Synaesthesia is a neurologically phenomenon in which stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to automatic, involuntary experiences in a second sensory or cognitive pathway, in other words, numbers can be perceived as having color, or words (such as the days of the week) can be perceived as having personalities. Many people with synesthesia use their experiences to aid in their creative process, and many non-synesthetes have attempted to create works of art that may capture what it is like to experience synesthesia. Here is a description of the disorder by one synaesthete: “I realized that to make an R all I had to do was first write a P and draw a line down from its loop. And I was so surprised that I could turn a yellow letter into an orange letter just by adding a line.” In a more bizarre twist, sufferers might mix sound and taste so that different noises might have a taste. It may be wise for synaesthetes to avoid the brown sound.

9.Oniomania

Oniomania is commonly referred to as compulsive shopping, compulsive buying, shopping addiction or shopaholism. Victims often experience moods of satisfaction when they are in the process of purchasing, which seems to give their life meaning while letting them forget about their sorrows. Once leaving the environment where the purchasing occurred, the feeling of a personal reward has already gone. To compensate, the addicted person goes shopping again. Eventually a feeling of suppression will overcome the person. For example, cases have shown that the bought goods will be hidden or destroyed, because the person concerned feels ashamed of their addiction and tries to conceal it.

8. Trichotillomania

Trichotillomania or “trich” as it is commonly known, is an impulsive control disorder or form of self-injury characterized by the repeated urge to pull out scalp hair, eyelashes, facial hair, nose hair, pubic hair, eyebrows or other body hair, sometimes resulting in noticeable bald patches. It may seem, at times, to resemble a habit, an addiction, or an obsessive-compulsive disorder. Trichotillomania often begins during the individual’s teenage years. Depression or stress can trigger the trich. Some people with TTM wear hats, wigs, wear false eyelashes, eyebrow pencil, or style their hair in an effort to avoid such attention.

7. Piblokto

Piblokto, Pibloktoq or Arctic hysteria is a condition exclusively appearing in Eskimo societies living within the Arctic Circle. Appearing most prevalently in winter, it is considered to be a form of a culture-bound syndrome which is a disorder (usually both mental and physical) which occurs in a specific culture or community. Symptoms can include intense hysteria (screaming, uncontrolled wild behavior), depression, coprophagia (poo eating), insensitivity to extreme cold (such as running around in the snow naked), echolalia (senseless repetition of overheard words) and more. This condition is most often seen in Eskimo women. This syndrome is possibly linked to vitamin A toxicity because the native Eskimo diet provides rich sources of vitamin A. Similar symptoms have been seen in Westerners with vitamin A toxicity.

6. Dissociative Identity Disorder

Dissociative Identity Disorder is the disease formerly known as multiple personality Syndrome. It is a condition in which a single person displays multiple distinct identities or personalities (known as alter egos or alters), each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. The diagnosis requires that at least two personalities routinely take control of the individual’s behavior with an associated memory loss that goes beyond normal forgetfulness. There is a great deal of controversy surrounding the topic, with some therapists considering it to not exist at all, despite the fact that 40,000 cases were diagnosed from 1985 to 1995.

5. Nymphomania

Nymphomania is an uncontrollable urge in women to have sex. Sex addicts are unable to control their sexual impulses, which can involve the entire spectrum of sexual fantasy or behavior. Eventually, the need for sexual activity increases, and the person’s behavior is motivated solely by the persistent desire to experience the sex act and the history usually reveals a long-standing pattern of such behavior, which the person repeatedly has tried to stop, but without success. Eventually, the sexual activity interferes with the person’s social, vocational, or marital life, which begins to deteriorate. When a man has an uncontrollable urge to have sex, it is called satyriasis.

4. Depersonalization

Depersonalization is a disorder in which the sufferer feels that they are living in a dream world; it is the feeling of watching oneself act, while having no control over a situation. It can be considered desirable, such as in the use of recreational drugs, but it usually refers to the severe form found in anxiety and, in the most intense cases, panic attacks. Often a person who has experienced depersonalization claims that life “feels like a movie” or things seem unreal or hazy. Also a recognition of self breaks down (hence the name). Depersonalization can result in very high anxiety levels, which further increases these perceptions – a snowball effect. One way to describe the physical manifestation of the feeling is to compare it to a film technique called the vertigo shot or dolly zoom. In this technique, the subject of the picture stays fixed within the shot while the surrounding background is pulled away, providing a sense of vertigo or detachment.

3. Jumping Frenchmen of Maine

An individual with this disorder has a genetic mutation that prevents “exciting” signals in the nervous system from being regulated, which causes a number of bizarre irregularities in their startle response. Most notably, an event which might startle a normal person will result in an extended, grossly exaggerated response from a “jumper,” including crying out, flailing limbs, twitching, and sometimes convulsions. Because a jumper is almost immediately susceptible to another jump soon after an episode ends, there have been reports that sufferers are sometimes teased mercilessly by people who find the reaction amusing, and trigger it repeatedly. Another curious abnormality caused by this disorder is a sufferer’s automatic reflex to obey any order that is delivered suddenly. For example, if one uses a sharp, quick voice to order a jumper to throw the object in their hands, they will throw it without hesitation; if they are similarly told to strike a person, they will strike that person, even if it is a loved one.

2. Coprolalia

Coprolalia is involuntary swearing or the involuntary utterance of obscene words or socially inappropriate and derogatory remarks (this should not be confused with Tourette Syndrome which is usually signified by physical and vocal tics – not just coprolalia). Involuntary outbursts, such as racial or ethnic slurs in the company of those most offended by such remarks, can be particularly embarrassing to the sufferer of coprolalia; the phrases do not necessarily reflect the thoughts or opinions of the person. Surprisingly, this disorder is often treated with botox near the vocal chords which helps to reduce the volume (but not the quantity) of outbursts. Related disorders are copropraxia, performing obscene or forbidden gestures, and coprographia, making obscene writings or drawings.

1.Wendigo Psychosis

Wendigo Psychosis is a mental disorder in which a person intensely craves human flesh and thinks they are turning into a cannibal (despite an abundance of healthy food available). The most common response amongst the aboriginal communities in which wendigo psychosis was most prevalent, was curing attempts by traditional native healers or Western doctors. In the unusual cases when these attempts failed, and the Wendigo sufferer began either to threaten those around them or to act violently or anti-socially, they were then generally executed. While some have denied the existence of this disorder, there are a number of credible eyewitness accounts, both by aboriginal communities and by Westerners, that prove that Wendigo psychosis is a factual historical phenomenon.

Le balene blu sono ghiotte di gamberetti.  Ne mangiano in quantità industriali, e dopo fanno una cacchina rosa che si poggia sulla superficie dell’acqua marina, creando un suggestivo effetto cromatico.

(L’ha visto e sentito in televisione il leopardino delle nevi)

Guerra del lusso a Torino, sterco sui clienti del Cambio (noto ristorante sabaudo, ndr. )

(www.lastampa.it)

Come si fa a giuocare (!) in Europa con Rivas (e Muntari) ?  Perchè sprecare una sostituzione (o due) ?  Per fortuna Mourinho ha optato per l’approccio rilassato.  Se optava per l’approccio stressato che succedeva, ci facevamo la cacca addosso ?  Striavamo di marroncino le (ri)zolle di San Siro ?  Un solo tiro in porta (Stankovic, a lato di due metri).  Un solo calcio d’angolo.  Va bene che sono fortissimi, ma c’è un limite a tutto.  E meno male che Saponetta, pur proseguendo nel suo ostinato rifiuto di bloccare la sfera (!), sforna miracoli a ripetizione, se no era una mattanza !  Il ritorno lo giuocavamo (!) direttamente a Mazara del Vallo, con noi al posto dei poveri tonni, il recinto acquatico, le mazzate sul cranio e l’acqua che divien via via rossastra !  Che delusione Ibra e Maicon : troppo facile fare gli zassi solo con Chievo e Reggina.  Quoque tu, Sisenando : e io che da una anno sciolgo e levo al cielo, in Tuo onore, inni,  peana, poemi, madrigali, sonetti, canzoni e liriche assortite.

O Sisenando, Sisenando

storno

speriamo ti riscatti

nel ritorno.

Musi lunghi, insulti, facce voltate con disdegno, linguaggio da scaricatori di porto.  E’ questo il Partito Democratico di Termoli ?

(www.primonumero.it)

“Per le nevicate di questo ultimo periodo lungo i marciapiedi sono in evidenza escrementi di cani sulla neve residua. A dimostrazione che molti cittadini non hanno ancora capito che amare il miglior amico dell’uomo significa anche provvedere alla gestione degli escrementi che produce.”.

(Lettera al Corriere del Sig. Donato Coletti)

Il cinepanettone di quest’anno è decisamente superiore ai precedenti.  Christian De Sica è in forma e in vena di humour nero, che raggiunge l’apice quando, tra disdette e riconferme di biglietti aerei, parla della madre che prima si è spenta e poi si è riaccesa (! Non male anche quando Paolo Conticini, notiziato che la sua bella è stata divorata da un coccodrillo, chiede di vederne gli avanzi !).  Affianca un Massimo Ghini attento e tempestivo.  Anche se, per amore di verità, la vetta inviolata nel genere è Natale sul Nilo, quando Boldi usa come carta igienica le bende che avvolgevano da millenni la mummia faraonica.

La característica más conocida por el público en general en cuanto al Tourette es la coprolalia: el proferir tacos, insultos, obscenidades o simplemente frases fuera de lugar, socialmente incorrectas, provocativas. Es una compulsión, puede tener muchas más, así cómo otros rituales.

En la película Mejor Imposible Jack Nicholson representa un personaje con varios rituales obsesivos: no pisar las líneas del suelo, apagar y encender las luces 5 veces, lavarse las manos compulsivamente utilizando varios jabones nuevos, utilizar cubiertos nuevos cada vez que come, etc. Los 2 últimos son rituales de higiene o limpieza.

Hay rituales de ordenación: todo tiene que estar en su sitio, perfectamente ordenado, de forma simétrica, etc. Recuerdo que en la película “Durmiendo con su enemigo” Julia Roberts está casada con un hombre que tiene la obsesión del orden: las toallas tienen que colgar con exacta simetría del toallero y todas las latas de la despensa deben de mostrar la etiqueta bien centrada.

Otros rituales pueden ser: tener los ojos bien abiertos al apagar la luz por la noche, poner primero el pie derecho en el suelo al levantarse por la mañana, sumar los números de las matrículas, contar cosas, (estos últimos pertenecen al grupo de las aritmomanías), hacer un gesto o una serie de gestos cada vez que se oye o lee cierta palabra a la que se le tiene manía, dar golpes a las puertas, etc.

La acumulación de objetos que describíamos en Tourette 5ª parte es otro ritual obsesivo-compulsivo. El trastorno obsesivo-compulsivo recibe el nombre de TOC, formado por sus siglas.

Los celos obsesivos son sólo una faceta más de este trastorno y por sí sólo le pueden hacer la vida imposible al propio enfermo y a su pareja.

“All’ingresso del parco giochi che mia figlia frequenta, quattro giovani gridano volgarità e bestemmie.  All’interno, mentre un adulto sputa per terra, un bimbo emette roboanti flatulenze.  Al mio accenno di disappunto, il padre del tenore sorride e mi dice : è l’età!  Torno a casa sconsolato e mi chiedo : ma qual’è l’età della buona educazione ?”.

(Lettera al Corriere di un signore, cui va la nostra palpitante solidarietà e che si chiama Alessio Dalla Pietà.  Era pertanto titolatissimo a chiederla; ma dubito che l’avrebbe ottenuta.)

L’amore è come la cacca: quando ti scappa, fa un male cane.

“Le intercettazioni pubblicate in questi giorni hanno mostrato quanto diffuso sia il turpiloquio.”.

(Alberoni, Corriere)

Today I was introduced to a family whose 10-year-old son has little jerky movements consisting of sudden and involuntary shrugging of the shoulders, splaying of the arms, twiching of the face, fluttering of the eyelids, and if seated, kicking of his legs. On top of that, perhaps even more startling, is that he can unexpectedly blurt out an obscenity. For a well-educated genteel upper middle class family who would never use four-letter swear words even under extreme duress, this tendency to vulgarities is most bizarre and bewildering to them.

What the little boy has is a condition called the Tourette Syndrome. It was first described in 1884 by a French physician, Gilles de la Tourette (1857-1904). He wrote about nine patients who were affected with the symptoms that were later to bear his name. One of these was the Marquise de Dampierre, an aristocratic lady who developed compulsive tics from the age of seven years, and they persisted until her death at the age of 80 years. She became a recluse and according to another doctor, she “ticked and blasphemed” all her life.

This condition affects 2% of the population, and among famous patients afflicted with this disease was Amadeus Wolfgang Mozart. Perhaps Mozart had outbursts of profanities, or coprolalia, which may have inadvertently upset poor Salieri, who is alleged to have murdered Mozart.

By the way, “coprolalia” is derived from the Greek words “kopros” (dung) and “lalein” (to babble).

The condition is inherited as an autosomal dominant, which means that it can be passed on by either parent. But to date, the gene has not been identified, nor the biochemical aberration which gives rise to the condition. Medical treatment is available but drugs only suppress the symptoms, and when the medication is stopped, the manifestations may recur.

When I asked the parents where the boy may have picked up his scatology, they immediately blamed the school. Apparently it is the norm for schoolboys to use four-letter swear words that would shock any grandmother. Definitely they would not have picked it up from Singapore television which is squeaky clean. How then, I asked, is it possible to make a diagnosis of Tourette Syndrome, if the only manifestation was the coprolalia?

The disease remains as baffling and mystifying as it did 120 years ago when Dr Tourette published his findings.