Of course I was excited when I saw this month’s Cosmo peeking out of my mailbox (I’m very exciting these days). After job hunting all day it’s nice to come home, pour a glass a wine, and read a mindless magazine. The word mindless is the key word in this case. I think I lost IQ points after reading this issue. Just to show you what I mean, here are a few examples of the articles: How to Touch a Naked Man: 16 Naughty Strokes That Will Send Him Over the Edge, Curb Your Cravings Without Feeding Your Face, Why I Slept with my Boss, and of course the “serious” article Inside a CSI Murder.

I always joke with friends because on the cover of every issue, there is always a teaser that says: # (insert your own number) Ways to Please Your Man. You wonder if this month’s moves include last month’s because if not, then there are a gargantuan amount of sex positions in the world. I imagine the number is really much smaller when you weed out any moves that require the strength and flexibility of an Olympic gymnast.

My favorite article this month is titled 50 Ways to Become a Legendary Flirt. I actually laughed out loud while reading this one. Unfortunately, it wasn’t in that witty, I-need-to-cut-this-out-and-hang-on-my-fridge kinda way. Let me give you some of the tips (and these are actual quotes, I can’t make this stuff up):

• #8 – “Lean on the counter at the dry-cleaners so that the cashier can see your statement necklace slip into your cleavage.”
• #9 – “Take a sip of your latte, stare into the eyes of the Barista who made it, and moan ‘Oh, yeah…that is sooo good.’ Next time, watch your drink appear before everyone else’s.”
• #21 – “Walk up to that Taylor Lautner look-alike standing alone at a party, give a playful smile, and say, ‘I heard there would be tons of cute guys here. So far, I’ve only seen one.’
• #22 – “Ask the hot Best Buy salesman to help you pick the perfect b-day present for your guy friend since he’s a ‘sexy tech genius like you.’
• #25 – “Step off the dance floor and quickly adjust one of your thigh-high stockings. Uh-oh, did that hottie sitting a few feet away catch you?”
• #42 – “Slip into fishnets while giving him the eye.”

Now, I could offer up some hilarious rebuttal to each, but these are so lame-o that I don’t want to exhaust anymore of my energy than I already have. You may do so by leaving a comment below. I was going to try to link the actual article so you can read the rest of this ridiculous-ness, but it’s not posted on Cosmo’s site. I guess you’re gonna have to read it while waiting in line at the grocery store because I don’t suggest forking up the few dollars for it.

What happened, Cosmo? You used to be funny, informative and give good tips. Back then, I was proud to be a Cosmo Girl! The million dollar question is, did I get older and grow out of your crappy magazine or did you get dumber?

Now you must excuse me, I’m gonna go try out some of those tips. I’d like a free coffee so I’m going to go give the Starbucks Barista the stink-eye…or was I suppose to show my thigh-highs?

A tranquil park stroll

What does this scene look like to you?  A harmless group of six or seven tourists enjoying the warm weather after an engaging morning ogling the Mona Lisa at the Louvre?  Perhaps.  But there’s something more here that I want to draw your attention to.

No: an exercise in meta-photography

This isn’t just any stroll in the park.  These people must have an alternative agenda: they must be part of an art project exploring the metaphyscial and ontological ramifications of taking pictures of people taking pictures of people taking pictures.  It’s the only possible explanation.

Now, cameras are circled in red.  I first want to draw your attention, if I may, to the center two circles.  These guys are doing OK–they’re taking a picture of their friend sitting down.  A little redundant, we could say, doubling up on the same shot, but all in all nothing too out of the ordinary.  If we add in the fact that the guy on the left sitting down is holding is own camera, it gets a little weirder.

But finally, look at the women on the right.  They have their own cameras, too.  They’ve just finished taking pictures not of sitting guy but of their husbands taking pictures.  It’s brilliant!  When you are taking a picture, you expose your soul to the world in unique way. You are braced; inquisitive; focused on getting the frame and aperture exactly right.  What better time to capture the moment?

I feel deeply privileged to have been allowed into the metaphysical love-fest by snapping the entire scene with a camera of my own.  It’s exciting!  I’ve started carrying two cameras around so that each time I take a picture I can reach out with the other hand and snap a shot of myself taking the picture.  I’m planning on submitting the series to a New York gallery, entitling it Colors and Memories: Intrapersonal Investigations into the Profound and Mercurial Nature of Auto-Photography.

Here’s another thing you might wish you hadn’t seen.

Reading break

This picture IS exactly what you think it is.  The bus driver is reading a magazine.  In fact, scattered about his cabin there are stacks of magazines: French versions of People, Us Weekly, and maybe a Cosmo or two slipped in.  He’s made some great progress: if he were reading Joyce he probably would have gotten through Ulysses by now.

Now, granted I believe the bus is currently stopped at a red light.  But in my mind, doesn’t this just start a bad precedent?  If it were me, sure, I’d start to flip through a page or two at red lights: the bus isn’t even moving, what harm could be done?  Then I might crack open a particularly juicy article on long boring stretches of highway–no cars around, what’s the big deal?  Finally before you know it I’d be engrossed in a What Kind of Lover Are You? quiz rounding the 10-point traffic circle at the Arc de Triomphe:

A slow day at the Arc

Maybe it’s better to save the gossip mags for after work.

Getting jealous? I bet you are.

Kev

Tuesday, July 28 @ 7pm   (Right here in the salon)

This month’s book? Bad Girls Go Everywhere by Jennifer Scanlon, a stellar biography of Helen Gurley Brown, the original Cosmo Girl & author of Sex and the Single Girl in 1962 (the foremother of Sex and the City). Like Mad Men? Read this book to get the real story of the times… See you there.

So, anyway, recently I was scanning the newsstand, to get my monthly fix, when I noticed that not just one, but two Vogue covers featured our fave Upper East Side socialites. If this isn’t proof that Gossip Girl has been influential in the fashion industry, than I don’t know what is.

Blake Lively scored the gold with Vogue, while Leighton Meester stood in the sidelines with Teen Vogue;  B standing in the shadows of S, as per usual.

I must admit that S looks stunning. The cover is reminiscent of old Hollywood glamour, which I adoreeee.

Courtesy of: JustJared.com

 B, on the other hand, looks cute and fresh. Although the cover doesn’t show-off her beauty to the max or display how glamorous she can be. In my opinion, Leighton has more of that old Hollywood glamour appeal than Blake (who would look oh-so-much cuter in a giggly, teen cover).

courtesy of Teengossip.com

Let’s not forget about Little J!!  Although not landing a Vogue cover, Taylor Momsen got the spot-light in Page Six and in Cosmo Girl’s Prom edition. I like the look she’s rocking on Page Six. Looking very chic J! For a 15-year-old, she’s very fashion forward.

Courtesy of: Teengossip.com

Courtesy of: GossipTeen.com

So who’s your favorite cover girl?

My fave? Well that’s a secret I’ll never tell.

You know you love me. ;]

xoxo

Lorena

But one Made contestant has found that the MTV show has actually launched her modeling career. Anna Johnson of New London, MN was on Made: Model Challenge, and when the show ended she was offered a one-year contract with Boss Models, and will appear in a Cosmo Girl pictorial.

To read the full story, click here.

Taylor Swift arriving at the 2008 American Music Awards

Country music star Taylor Swift , recently performed at the 2008 American Music Awards. Taylor is currently featured in the December 08′/January 09′ issue of………………..CONTINUE READING

Scarlett Johansson

Polêmica, Scarlett afirmou que não acredita na igualdade de sexos no país em que vive. “Acho que ainda vivemos em um país sexista e racista. Por mais que haja um sonho americano de oportunidades iguais para o sucesso, não acredito que aconteça na realidade.”

Além de seu engajamento na política, a atriz também falou sobre as coisas que a deixam verdadeiramente feliz. “Gosto de estar com meus amigos e família e de ter meu cérebro desafiado. Quando acho que tenho que chegar à raiz de uma questão, quando estou comprometida com algo, eu fico feliz.” (Quem Online)

Veja scans no site Scarlett-Photos.com.

Then… this. One by one, the magazines are falling. Forget the newspapers. Say so long to the Sun and the Christian Science Monitor– you won’t really be missed. No, but the magazines! Farewell cheeky Radar, we hardly knew you. Au revoir Cosmo Girl. Where will our ten year olds turn to for diet advice now? Alas, poor Portfolio, this is the beginning of the end. One by one the editorial staffs at Condé Nast, Hearst, Rodale, and Meredith huddle together in the foxhole and pray for the good lord to save their ass and their benefits.

Yes, the magazine industry has been ambushed. And what better way to document the slaughter of the printed word than by creating a blog that mocks it! How self-referential and smug!

Dear, sweet Magazine Death Pool, I beg you: please leave my magazine off your hit list. I really don’t want to go back to books.

See? What did I say? You can view all of the pictures in their gallery HERE.

MTV did a funny interview with Peter Facinelli (Carlisle Cullen). You can read the hilarious interview here.

CosmoGirl (CG) has a Breaking Dawn quiz on whether are you Team Edward or Team Jacob. You can take the quiz here.
p.s. I’m Team Edward!

Twilight Guy has read New Moon: Chapter 21 (Verdict). Enjoy reading his review!

The official video of Jack’s Mannequin – The Resolution is out! The concept of the music video was by Stephenie herself and it looks great! You can watch the video on Stephenie’s website.

ReelzChannel has a video on Twilight On The Web. Enjoy the video below!

xlormp, The Most Popular Book in the Whole World has been featured in Livejournal’s Spotlight and is gaining fame. It is a parody of the Twilight series, but not in a condescending or mean way. I recommend you read it, because it has been the source of my tummyache for the past few days.

LA Times writes an article about whether vampires are sexy or not. Read the small blurb accompanying this photo here.

Remember the Cosmo Girl picture? Here is the coloured one:

(Credits to the Twilight Movie MySpace. Click to enlarge!)

Surprise surprise! We’re going to have an unauthorised biography of our dearest Robert Pattinson!

Attention Team Edward!

On October 21, the Bowen Press imprint at HarperCollins Children’s Books will publish Robert Pattinson: Eternally Yours by Isabelle Adams, an unauthorized biography of Robert Pattinson, the actor who plays Edward Cullen in the forthcoming movie version of Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight.

The paperback original, which is the only biography of the actor on the market, was originally scheduled to be published November 4, but when the Twilight film moved to November 21 from December 12, HarperCollins adjusted its pub date as well. Harry Potter fans may also remember Pattinson as Cedric Diggory in two of the films.

(Credits to Children’s Bookshelf.)
It is already available for pre-ordering on Amazon.com, and you can see the cover of the book here.

We have a new picture of Edward and Bella! Click here to see it.

Many articles have been recently written about Stephenie Meyer’s decision to currently stop writing of Midnight Sun. NY Mag criticises Stephenie for this, citing the many advantages for the leaked chapters of the book. On the other hand, Twilight Guy steps up to defend the author who created this saga. Whose side are you on?

If you’re interested on how Stephenie’s directorial debut for Jack’s Mannequin’s The Resolution is going, MTV wrote an article on it. She’s using mermaids by the way, and from the looks of it, filming is going pretty well so far.

Rob was caught out and about again. He looked extremely drunk, and guess what? A girl tried to attack him! Watch the video here. Pictures of him over here.

Talking about him, TM-F did an article on Rob playing Salvador Dali in Little Ashes and asked if he could play a good Dali. What do you think?

The new cover of the book is out!

Pre-order only available at Barnes & Noble, but I’ll just put the link up.
Also, the Collector’s Edition of the book:

Click here to pre-order.

That’s it for now! Enjoy your VMAs, people!