Zombie Survival Guide: Recorded Attacks2009

Ah…Max Brook’s newest addition to the Zombie-verse, this time in graphic novel form. The book is a chronology of “recorded” zombie attacks. It some cases, the tales are said to be folklore and secrets several governments tried to cover up. The artistry of the book is amazing, my only complaint is that the violence and gore was tame for the most part, the story of the Cossacks being the exception. This may have been to make the book more accessible or perhaps they are not jaded gorehounds like myself.

1.  Merry Gentlemen

2.  Tempest, Storm and Wind

3.  True Love and Brotherhood

At some point in the night I padded down to the Double Bed to Get Some Sleep. At some point in the night, Son 1 aged 5y 3m snuck in with me.  This morning when it was still dark, Son 2 aged 2y 3m woke up screaming, and The Man went to him. Son 2 screamed louder.  “NO! MUMMEEEE!”  The Man brought him in to me and Son 1 and plopped him on the bed. Even more loud screams because Son 1 was cuddling me.  I held him, he snugged. Son 1 snaked a hand over to stroke my eyebrow. “NO!” screeched Son 2. “MY EYEBROW!”  “There are two eyebrows,” I said, lying on my back and wondering whether this ever happens to anyone else. Son 1 tried going for the other eyebrow. Son 2 smacked his hand off. “Oh pack it in Son 2, you don’t even like eyebrows!” I snapped.  “Now say sorry!” ”Sowwy, Son Son,” said Son 2.  They kissed, they cuddled, they giggled, fluting peals of laughter, gorgeous flashes of first-teeth smiles. 

Son 1 wanted to go crabbing. Son 1 had wanted to go crabbing yesterday, but we had a bit of a you-just-got-all-the-toys-in-China-you-can-goddamn-well-play-with-them thing and stayed in. Wintry showers and summery spells alternated every 15 minutes.  Hail, glorious sunshine, drizzle, glorious sunshine, rain, glorious sunshine, sleet, glorious sunshine.   Rainbows appeared and disappeared across the river. The boys watched DVDs, Son 1 built Lego, Son 2 played with his trainset, his Duplo and his toy farm. There was much shouting and snatching over the ELC Rocket.  I made cauliflower soup for lunch. “You don’t want to do anything complicated after yesterday,” said Nanna.   Yes I know, but I’ve got a new Nigel Slater book and I’m going to use it.   Very nice soup.  Nigel’s recipe had creme fraiche. In the house that had no milk on Christmas Eve morning? On yer bike.   Nigel’s recipe didn’t have leftover children’s pasta blended in to make it a Bit Thicker. And Nigel’s recipe didn’t have tiny pasta stars added to Get Some Carbs Into Son 1.   But apart from that, it were brill, and I recommend the book. Son 1 sniffed at  the cabbage pot we serve soup in “it smells good.”  Son 2 ate it all. The Man, who Doesn’t Eat Soup, ate it all. Nanna had seconds. And Son 1 ate all the soup and a slice of bread.  And I know you don’t want a list of Who At What, but Jaysus, the chocolate. Son 2 has been unstoppable with the Jingle Bells on the Christmas Tree. Picks the Low Hanging Fruit and stuffs it in his mouth, with Son 1 dancing around wondering if he’s going to get told off. Son 2, deeply and sincerely couldn’t give a stuff if he is told off.  He likes choc choc.  Choc choc has been left in reach.   The choc choc is to be devoured. Son 1 can eat his own if he wants any. Which he does.  

We had to wait for the tide to drop. Nanna and the boys watched the ballet. Son 1 copied the Cossacks. We finally got down to the Quay to catch crabs. “I wan’ big net” said Son 2. It’s late December. I have no idea where our fishing nets/toy nets are.  We had one big net.  “You will have to share,” I said. Son 1 and The Man caught the crabs, Son 2 and I scooped them in the nets and put them in the bucket. Son 2 peered between the flagstones on the quay to find winkles and stones to throw in the river.  And then he started picking up broken glass. It was everywhere.  The water was clear. We could see the crabs scuttling across the riverbed between patches of seaweed. Son 2 was out in wellies for the first time, and he fell and slipped a lot. But he was on the reins, so I caught him.   I bought the boots on a Christmas Shopping trip with The Man and Son 1 aged 2y 2m on a November Tuesday in 2006. Newly pregnant, and looking for things that would do for Son 1 and a possible girl arriving in June. I started bleeding the next day while I was scrubbing organic vegetables.  The boots were size 7. Son 2 is probably not quite size 6 yet.  They fell off his feet when I carried him. When we got to 10 crabs, we put them back in the river. “Pick them up by their bottoms Son 1,” I cried. “And put them in gently!” Son 2 and I took Nanna home.  Son 2 slept in the car. Outside The House he woke up, furious he’d missed out. “I wan’ go Nanna house!”  Son 1 was watching Oliver. “Fooooood, glorious food!” he warbled.

Twitter is a social networking tool that’s becoming more and more popular. It’s technically a “micro-blogging” site and is quite a difficult thing to explain. Anyway I’ve compiled some tweets about Bracknell this week to show you all what’s been going on in our town in the past week or so.

Bah! Seems like a depressing review of Bracknell, however just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, we get a kiss! x

I think this is Ice Hockey, Bracknell Bees threw away a strong lead to lose to Manchester. Just like the football club the ice hockey team haven’t had the best of times recently.

Gah! Another person slating our sunny metropolis, there’s nowt wrong with the office being in Bracknell.

I suggest you bask in their reflected glory.

I am quite upset no one told me about the Cossack dancing.

You are unlikely to ever come across a more accurate description of Bracknell – unless you were to find one that mention the underpasses!

Ah, and this is me, bitching about our local MP Andrew Mackay. Dazmando covers some of his expenses claims in his blog today.

You can follow me on twitter here: http://twitter.com/stevegabb

I’m working on a large commision at the moment and my Napoleonic armies are on hold.  I hope to have pictures of the current commission up in the next week or so!  In the meantime I wanted to post up some Copplestone White Russian Camel Corps.  These guys are not available as a pack from Copplestone, but I would assume you could call Mark and ask him to put a few of these together for you.

They are an easy conversion where I modified the camel’s hump to take a greenstuff saddle.  Once that was done I just popped the cossacks on top.

I’ll post up the white russian cavalry in the background soon.  Anyone have any suggestions for rules to use with these?  I wasn’t a fan of Triumph and Tradegy or Iron Ivans WWI rules.  I’m debating picking up Force on Force by Ambush Alley games and giving those a go.  Comments?

Read left to right.  Click the link for a larger view.  Used some plug-in work around called Thickbox.  Sorta works.  I know the pop-ups are small, but hopefully they are still readable.  Let me know.  Lots of Back of Beyond, FOW, SYW, & Dark Ages to roll out.  I just need some time to take more pictures.  Also keep a look out for a “For Sale” section.

This is a post in the meanest sense: no beautiful pictures or thrilling adventures for you today, dear reader. Rather, I tout the pleasantries of purely informational information. First, I have a link to an article from the Times about the Moscow mayor’s ability to, no kidding, change the weather. Yuri Luzhkov, who’s been the mayor for about a century now, actually has the goods it takes to disperse clouds and any forms of precipitation they may bring with them. Previously, the technology for this so-called cloud-seeding only gets used for special holidays like the one we participated in this last weekend. Me and the other American students had heard about the mayor’s “machine” from a few different Russians, and, really, we dismissed it as post-Soviet-era-induced wishful thinking. But it turns out to be true, although there’s no “machine”; just planes and chemicals. Without further ado, here’s the article. I’ll be pretty bent out of shape without snow, though.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/environment/article6824041.ece

The second link is a purely whimsical one inspired by my Russian language teacher, Ala. She’s usually pretty adamant about sticking to the book, both literally and figuratively, but today we had a breakthrough. Ele, another student (and friend), asked Ala about her heritage. Ala made sure we knew she is quote “Russian, Russian, very Russian” (they’re really into that here) but also informed us that her great-great-grandmother was a Cossack. All in broken English of course. I remembered having read about the militaristic Cossacks in Tolstoy’s novels, but I never understood exactly who/what they were, so here’s the good ol’ meat and potatoes Wikipedia entry. Enjoy.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cossaks

Wiki defines Cossacks as “members of multinational militaristic communities living in Ukraine and southern Russia”

It is impossible to tell all about them in one short post. Their history is bloody, their culture is rich and their dedication to their country is unparallel.

Lube – Horse

Kazak

Memories

Bright

Look

Re-enactor

Date

Ride

                                                                      “Все течет, все уплотняется”
                                                                                            Ю.Е.Пивинский

    То, что Петербург – заслуга и достояние не только России ( в современном понимании), но и Украины ( в нынешнем ракурсе) – очевидно давно, но постоянно требует актуализации. Новый журнал “Украинцы и Петербург” под руководством В.Ф.Косенко делает это с размахом сорочинских ярмарок, где на развалах всегда найдется особо ценный перл.
   В номере втором 2009г. я нашел Юрия Пивинского. Уроженца Полтавщины, петербуржца, академика стройматериалов и огнеупоров( оказывается, нанотехнологии в этом деле зародились 45 лет назад), знатока и глубокого исследователя творчества Н.В.Гоголя. Его воспоминания и размышления насыщены редкими и нужными смыслами:
                  – “…пройдет несколько десятилетий, и я вспомню многократно высказываемое моей бабушкой и казавшееся мне тогда смешным пророчество. Состояло оно в следующем: современный строй в стране долго не продержится, потому что в 1917 году к власти пришли болтуны, лентяи и пьяницы, а разумных, трудолюбивых и хозяйственных людей уничтожили и растоптали”
                 – “Пророчества Гоголя сбылись. Просвещение без “просветления”(слова Гоголя), попытки построить рай на Земле без Христа обернулись трагедией… Обезбоживание людей поставило под сомнение существование человечества. Мировые катастрофы 20 века, и прежде всего русская катастрофа, показали, что выбор, сделанный Гоголем …религиозный, христианский выбор – был сделан вовремя”.
             – “…с Гоголем пришло воссоединение России с ее полусказочной прародиной, какой предстала у него Украина как колыбель славянской национальности”

    В день рождения нашего деда – царство ему небесное – нашел чудо-книжку про другого, более древнего кубанского деда из рода Радченко. Ссылка – http://www.gipanis.ru/?level=356&type=page

    Казаки – естественное порождение русского народа в ответ на вызовы разбойников. Когда шалят волки, выпускают волкодавов.
   Разбойники в разные времена принимают разные обличья, используют разную тактику. Казаки меняются соответственно. Выпускать казака прошлого против разбойника современного – неестественно и самоубийственно.
   Нужен сериал – последовательно по смене эпох – где казаки эволюционируют, где они не только некий вынужденный ответ, но и упреждающая сила.

    Образ модельного казака в 20-е гг. 20-го века создал Вячеслав Шишков в рассказе “Таежный волк” ( “Бакланов”). Мощный набор основ – донское детство, афонское послушание, кавказское мужание, сибирские деяния.Подлинный язык и отношение к миру.

În urmă cu câteva săptămâni la Wikipedia s-a desfăşurat Concursul de Scriere – ediţia martie 2009. Am participat şi eu cu două articole – nu foarte cuprinzătoare, dar interesante şi originale. Ceilalţi colegii au scris şi ei articole, în orice caz, mai serioase şi mai bogate în informaţii decât cele redactate de mine.

Unul dintre articolele cu care am participat eu la concurs a fost despre un celebru tablou al pictorului rus Ilia Repin. Tabloul se numeşte „Răspunsul cazacilor zaporojeni către sultanul Mehmed al IV-lea al Imperiului Otoman”. Având în vedere că autorul este probabil unul dintre cei mari pictori ruşi, opera sa se ridică nivelul marilor tablouri din pictura universală.

Cunoşteam de mai mult timp acest tablou, însă eram curios să aflu mai multe despre povestea lui, mai exact, despre povestea scenei zugrăvite de Repin. Ştiam, aşa din auzite, că aceşti cazaci sunt oameni care trăiesc după regulile lor, fără să răspundă în faţa vreunei autorităţi. Tocmai aici e cheia acestui tablou, cât şi farmecului lui. Prin secolul al XVII-lea, sultanul le trimite o scrisoare prin care le cere să se supună. Cazacii, uluiţi de cererea sultanului îi pregătesc un răspuns pe măsură. Îl ridiculizează, nici nu se putea altfel, şi îl iau la mişto, desigur. Nici n-ar mai fi nevoie să redau textul scrisorilor căci tabloul e atât de sugestiv încât e de ajuns să te uiţi atent pe chipurile cazacilor ca să intuieşti cam ce îi scriau sultanului, sau mai bine spus, cam ce înjurături debitau.

Iată scrisoarea trimisă de sultan cazacilor:

„Ca sultan, fiu al lui Mohamed, frate al soarelui şi al lunii, nepot şi vicerege al lui Dumnezeu, conducător al ţinuturilor din Macedonia, Babilon, Ierusalim, Egiptul de sus şi de jos, împărat al împărăţilor, suveran al suveranilor, cavaler excepţional, niciodată învins, gardian neclintit al mormântului lui Iisus Hristos, tutore ales de către Dumnezeu însuşi, speranţa şi alinarea musulmanilor, dar şi un mare apărător al creştinilor – vă poruncesc vouă, cazaci zaporojeni, mie să vă supuneţi de bună voie şi fără nicio împotrivire şi să încetaţi să-mi mai faceţi necaz cu atacurile voastre.”

Iar ăsta e răspunsul cazacilor către sultan:

„Cazacii zaporojeni către sultanul turc!

Eşti un diavol turc, frate şi tovarăş blestemat al Satanei, secretar al lui Lucifer însuşi! Ce fel de rege eşti tu, la dracu’, dacă nu poţi ucide un arici cu curul gol? Diavolul se cacă şi oastea ta îl mănâncă. N-o să ne ai tu, fiu de căţea, sub oblăduirea ta, că noi nu ne temem de armata ta. O să te înfruntăm cu apa şi cu focul, fute-o-aş pe mă-ta!

Eşti bucătarul nenorocit al Babilonului, caretaşul Macedoniei, berarul Ierusalimului, violatorul de capre al Alexandriei, porcarul Egiptului Mare şi cel Mic, porcul Armeniei, lepădătură a Podoliei, ţapul Tătariei, gâdele Kameneţului, prostul lumii şi al împărăţiei de jos şi un idiot în faţa Dumnezeului nostru. Eşti al şarpelui perfid nepot şi al pulelor noastre bot. Rât de porc, cur de iapă, măcelar de câini, frunte nemiruită, pe mă-ta ia-o şi fute-o.

Iat-aşa îţi răspund zaporojenii, nenorocitule! Nici porcii creştini nu te-ar înghiţi! Nu ştim cifre, nici calendar nu avem, luna-i în cer, anul e-n carte, iar ziua cum e la noi, aşa e şi la voi, aşa că să ne pupi în cur!”

The Cossacks were the last of the great Eurasian horse-based tribes that had such an enormous influence on the politics and culture of the region over the centuries. From the Scythians to the Xiongnu (the Huns) to the Sarmatians to the Seljuks, the nomads (whose nomadic features declined in line with the rise of state power and the increase in the amount of land used for organized agriculture) displayed mobility and martial prowess sufficient to defeat endless numbers of sedentary-state armies.

Read the full article here.