Courvoisier is to become the first brand to run 3D TV advertising in the UK.  The spot, which will air during Channel 4’s ‘3D Week’ next month, will be shown during several shows, including The Queen In 3D and The Greatest Ever 3D Moments.

Bill Simmons has a point.

Jerome Boger sounds EXACTLY like Leon Phelps.

Courvoisier Ad from 1974

The advertisements above is a Couvoisier Cognac ad from 1974.  It is done very interestingly – the ad is a painting of a bottle of the Cognac next to a glass next to it, and in the background is another painting (thus, a painting within a painting).  What must be noted, however, is that the painting in the background is that of Napoleon with his legion.  I was unable to locate the name of the painter, though.  This ad first appeared in a magazine, the name of which I was also unable to locate.

I am very intrigued by this ad by its “ivory tower-ness”.  Courvoisier is not playing around – the people who drink this cognac will be considered high society – perhaps even on par with Napoleon’s grandeur.  The bottle and glass are placed on a very expensive-looking table, in what one must imagine is a mansion of a house, for it has that kind of table and that kind of painting.  We can also assume that there is a window to the left where the sun is shining through and reflecting off of the glass, which draws attention to it and gives it an “aura”.  Also, by having the sun shine in, it gives us the image of a window without actually putting it in the ad, which is able to make our mind expand and visualize the rest of the house – an intricate but very cool move.

The head of the bottle itself is pointing directly at Napoleon – this can not be coincidence.  The eyes go directly from the sun’s reflection of the glass, which points to the right towards the bottle, and the bottle is pointing at Napoleon, essentially telling the following story: if you pour yourself a glass of the bottle of Courvoisier, you are somewhat comparable to Napoleon.”  To many men and women, that kind of power is attractive, and may just be enough to have that person purchase a bottle.  It is very clear by this advertisement that Courvoisier is targeting a specific demographic: the rich and the powerful, and the “wannabe” rich and powerful.  This is apparent because those that have achieved the measure of social status will recognize that type of scene and feel a connection to it, thus buying the bottle; on the other hand, those that wish to live like that feel that perhaps buying Courvoisier might be the first step towards achieving their goal.

It is also interesting to note that Napoleon’s painting is higher than the bottle.  This could have been done for two reasons – 1) it is easier to see him or 2) to be Napoleon is the grand standard, and Courvoisier is a great way to start the journey to becoming him.  Of course, it could also be done to be historically accurate, since he felt himself to be a God.  Regardless, the painting of Napoleon is very powerful, with his cavalry at his side, and he looks into the distance, almost daring adversaries to challenge him.  Of course, since he drinks Courvoisier, he has all the fuel he needs.

My final note is that I believe this ad was done intentionally to make us, the viewer, feel as if we were sitting at that table, drinking the cognac ourselves and admiring that painting.  The cap of the bottle is towards us, and there is no chair in the ad, and since most tables typically have chairs, I can only assume that it is us who is occupying it, mesmerized by the strength of  great General.  If this is the case, then the ad becomes more brilliant – because it gives us the forum to be that person – the rich and powerful – but the only piece missing is the bottle.  There is no slogan on the ad, as is apparent, because the slogan is hidden.  In my opinion, the entire ad is a slogan for “Don’t you wish this were you?”  Who wouldn’t to own a painting of Napoleon?  Who wouldn’t want to live in a big house like that? Everyone does, but the case being made here is that only Courvoisier can help you get there.  For this reason, I think that this ad is brilliant.

Who is poised to get the bigger slice of the pie? Who will increase their % share of consumer food spend – restaurants, supermarkets, fast food outlets or independents?

This was the opening gambit to Courvoisier The Future 500 round table, attended by CVFT500 members, food journalists and yours truly.

The evening kicked off with a brain teaser in the form of a food quiz presented by the food journalist Sudi (“How to be a better foodie”) Pigott.  Let me tell you that this was not average quiz with questions such as “what are forestario, trinitario and criollo kinds of?”.

Answers on a postcard please…

I tried out the quiz the next day on two food service industry supremos, who had to admit defeat.

After the quiz we debated the recent FSA report about the lack of health benefits attributed to eating organic food, cheap chicken and battery farming and the supermarkets’ stronghold amongst other things.

It is a good job that the lovely people from Courvoisier keep the cocktails flowing at these events! My contributions to the conversation were helped a greatly by the “Courvoisier Cooler“:

Pour 35ml Courvoisier Exclusif into a tall glass filled with ice, top up with 3/4 apple juice and 1/4 ginger beer, squeeze over a wedge of lime and stir.

Sustenance was provided by Leon Restaurants and I finally got to try their famous Moroccan meatballs.

Needless to say nobody had the answers to the serious questions raised that night.

One thing we agreed on though was that it will be tremendously difficult to change Britain’s food culture but that everyone who is professionally engaged with the food industry has a responsibility for educating people.

A sentiment that was echoed the next day by the CEO of Wholefoods Market who admitted that the store peddles a lot of “rubbish” in the name of organic, fresh food – which he felt embarrassed about and which had to change.

I was quietly pleased and proud to be able to say that Savvy Cook for one is trying to make a difference, through the soon to be launched Savvy Kids:

a food + lifestyle education programme aimed at primary school children.

Thanks to the wonderful Unltd, we’ve got our first grant in the bank and are preparing to pilot a series of fun, interactive workshops at 3 London schools in the autumn.

All really exciting!

Monique

The House of Caron Goose Down Powder Puffs

Caron La Poudre Fine Mineral Body Powder

The Famous Crystal Perfume Dispensers of Caron

Candy Colored Caron Perfume Bottles

160 - The House of Molinard's Newest Creation

The Molinard Home in France

Molinard Vintage Perfume Collection

Courvoisier - Legendary Cognac to Legendary Fragrance

Michel Roudnitska Introduces Ellie Nuit

From the House of Jivago - This sweet scent is selling out in Israel

Juliette Has A Gun - 'nough said

Theosiris from Creations Guy Bouchara

Pure Perfume Oils from Egypt

Sahlini Parfums - Bollywood Inspired

On my ever present quest for all things Luscious last week I ventured into the concrete jungles of New York City. Armed with my trusty camera and a killer pair of stilletto heels my expedition led me to the Perfume Expo America where the largest gathering of the perfume and cosmetics industry meet once a year. There they parade the finer things in life -  those that come bottled anyway – to merchants, journalist, and perfume fanatics alike for four days.

It was a scented safari. Pure perfume oil from Egypt wrapped in papyrus. Pink disco balls of Ibiza. Sahlini with their Bollywood potions of La Femme and Femininde. The ” Irresistible Arrogance ” that only a true Imperial company like Courvoisier can bring… anywhere. The loveliness and finesse of the Molinard family  – a cornerstone in the perfume industry – as they unveil their newest creation 160, celebrating and commemorating 160 years in the business of parfum. The perfume, crystal, puffs, and powders of Caron and so, so much more.

I will be posting some perfume reviews of all the wonderful fragrances that the very generous people of perfume have shared with me. And in the spirit of sharing I am hosting a give-away, two actually. I want to share luscious experience with you. So I am making up two sample packets and if you would like to be entered into the random drawing ,please, let me know in your comments and I will let you know who the winners are on this coming Sunday. The winners can send me their address and I will ship it out to you. This is the first give-away that iLusciousLife has done but, I hope it will be the first of many.

Remember if you would like to enter into the drawing for the mixed perfume sample packets,please, list your name in the comments. Their will be two winners!

Good Luck! 

PassTheCourvosier, originally uploaded by sizzled.

together at last and wan certainly is impressed with mikey’s ingenuity!

+1 to me for nick murray with his minifro in this pic too.

Want to hear a funny story?  Not long ago, there was this video that made a hit.

Next thing you know, teens – who had never tasted Courvoisier or even HEARD about it in the first place – were asking for it in clubs.  It was the new hip drink.  Don’t get fooled by the video clip, though, 80% of the public of this genre of music is actually white.  So really we’re talking tweens and teenagers who look up to video clips and artists to get what’s new and hip.  With an audience that increasingly ignores ads and with technology that allows you to skip ads altogether, marketers have insiduously inserted messages for products in the content of programs itself. 

To be fair, the Courvoisier did not pay for the add and in fact claims not to have had any relationship with the artist prior to the song.  Afterwards however, as an afterhought, the company decided to reward the artist with parties.  The bottomline though is this hit made a drink go from unpopular to on high demand in a target market (young people) that had no prior knowledge and liking for it.  This type of marketing is called Urban Marketing.  

My advice : be critical of things you see placed in movies or video clips.  As a marketer I am not proud of my field when it does something like that – trying to lure consummers into buying a product without them being aware that it is an advertisement.  I do believe that there are very creative and beautiful ads that will get you to buy products… in a more ethical way.

I think it always comes to this.

I’m trying to remember.

This time last year I was working a lot so I guess it wasn’t as bad in a way. I had a new job as a hostess in a metal bar. I got paid fifty bucks a night to try to calm down and entertain some of the biggest assholes I’ve ever met. It averaged out to about 9 dollars an hour. I did it because they told me that I would be promoted to a server soon. I was a hostess for about 4 months, from February to May, before I became a server. I was supposed to work on my birthday but I called in sick and ate magic mushrooms and sat in my bathtub instead. Which was better than my previous birthday, because I had to work a 12 hour shift and ended up quitting that job at the end of the night. Among other things, I quit because I couldn’t find the Courvoisier.

But anyway, when I say it always comes to this I mean it gets ridiculous. How is it still snowing? Why did the settlers settle here? What the fuck?

Thanks to the internet I don’t even have to leave my house to spend money. I’ve been buying pants that are big enough to fit over my winter ass. The only way I can afford to do this is from money I still have from the serving job at the metal bar, which I also quit because it made my heart beat too fast.

Maybe I would feel better if I took Rodney for a walk. But to do that I would have to put on long underwear, and to put on the long underwear I would have to stand up, walk away from the space heater, take off my stretched out sweatpants and put them back on again. And I just can’t see myself doing that.

He is looking out the window and whining. He gets my attention and that gets his attention. He is now pawing at my left arm, which makes it difficult to type. Type type type. Delete delete delete. I should start over.

He is laying on the ground at the axis of the two doors. He is guarding me. His right leg is tucked under his body somehow and his left leg is splayed out to the side. His ears twitch. I shift my leg because the space heater is burning me and he looks back over his right shoulder at me. He has a concerned look on his face. I guess it looks concerned to me because it looks like his eyebrows are on the sides of his eyes and his forehead is wrinkled under all that fur. He rolls over onto his right side.
Times like this make me feel like I’m ruining his life. He is stuck in a small apartment. He has eaten all his rawhide toys and I have no new ones for him because it’s been too cold for me to make the trip to Target. I can’t give him any old dog toy because he will just eat it. No tennis balls, no stuffed animals, none of that. He doesn’t play with them, he just eats them.
On Friday he got into a bag full of chicken bones and bacon grease. The fur on his head was matted down with it. I got home from school, found him this way, and started sobbing. He didn’t understand what was wrong. He tried to console me my smearing his greasy head on my face.

Now, he is on the sofa, chewing on a toilet paper roll. This is all he has in the world, toilet paper rolls and empty old water bottles. Aaaaaannndd it’s down the hatch. I don’t know if he metabolizes these things, I just hate to take them away from him because they make him so happy. Oh and look! He has regurgitated it onto my lap. I pick it up, it smells like like a grocery store. A grocery store that has been saturated with saliva.

He has now taken my left arm, and he won’t let me have it back. Typing is very difficult, pecking at the keys while my left arm is being chewed on. Ow. Ow ow. Warm and wet. The roof of his mouth is ridged and spongy. He has big, dull teeth and black lips. He has learned to use his paw like a hand- grabbing mine and pulling it to his mouth. Ow. I can no longer type. He has won.

• Курвуазье VS (Courvoisier V.S.) – в купаж этих коньяков входят спирты с выдержкой до 8 лет
• Курвуазье VSOP (Courvoisier V.S.O.P.) Fine Champagne создается из спиртов с выдержкой до 12 лет
• Курвуазье XO (Courvoisier X.O.) Imperial – в его состав входят спирты с выдержкой до 35 лет.

Last year I went to lunch at Restaurant David Drake in Rahway NJ with my good friend Gail and I had a memorable cocktail.  It was a pear sidecar that was a perfect lunchtime refresher.  I can still taste it in my head.  With that in mind, I purchased a bottle of Belle de Brillet, a French liqueur made by infusing Cognac with macerated ripe Alsatian pears.  I pulled out my Food & Wine cocktails 2008 book and found the Noir Sidecar from Noir Bar in Las Vegas.  ”A secret passageway leads from an outside entrance into Noir’s candlelit bar, which serves Ken Hall’s extravagant drink enhanced by pear eau-de-vie and Benedictine.”

Noir Sidecar

• 1.5 oz Courvoisier VSOP
• .5 oz Cointreau
• .5 oz Benedictine
• .5 oz Belle de Brillet
• .75 oz lemon juice
• shake and strain into a sugar rimmed cocktail glass

There are a lot of flavors going on in this drink.  I like the way the Benedictine takes the edge off the lemon’s tartness I find in a traditional sidecar.  Unfortunately this drink didn’t have the same pear flavor as the David Drake cocktail.  This is a nice drink, but it didn’t match what was in my mind.  Next time I will up the amount of Belle de Brillet to push the pear flavor forward.  I look forward to playing around with the Belle de Brillet; I think it has great potential in cocktails.

Dope!

Long holiday weekends are great, but they sure make for a lot of catching up to do.  I’ve been saving press releases and news on my desktop for days.  Time to clean up and start fresh…

 

In case you missed a couple of posts: 

·         Kahlua(R) Bails Out the Office Holiday Party (There is a small window of opportunity to enter this $10,000 holiday party contest, so check it out asap!)

 

Wine:

·         Chilean Winery Tops Charts in Wine Spectator and Wine Enthusiast (Casa Lapostolle’s Clos Apalta 2005 won best “Wine of the Year 2008” out of 19,500 wines that were blind taste tested. 

·         Unified Wine & Grape Symposium Brings Together International Wine and Grape Community (This symposium takes place January 27 – 30 and features a variety of trade show innovations in equipment and services available to the wine industry.  An extra day has been added this year to address “aroma” and the origins of wine flavoring.  While my site ventures into the spirits world, the wine world is most complex.  This is sure to be a sensory extravaganza.)

·         La Crema Introduces New Monterey Series With Interactive Wine Tasting Party Online (This is a viewer’s guide to tasting at home.  No matter how interactive, nothing beats the hands on experience.  Visit the site and host your own wine tasting party at home.)

·         Kendall-Jackson Winery Holiday Offerings at kj.com (I must be perfectly honest here and say I do not pick up Kendall-Jackson wines when I purchase.  However, I did visit the site for this particular “Noteworthy” segment and learned a thing or two.  Learning is what I’m here for.  How about you?  How about this:  Flabby/Flat – means lacking in acidity, mouth-feel, structure and/or texture.  I don’t know about you, but after Thanksgiving in wine terminology I think I’d like someone to call me flabby, because I’m feeling a bit full of “texture” if you will…I would care to lack in texture.  How about “corked”?  Corked means wine that has been tainted with moldy smells or other obvious flaws from a bad cork.  Or did you know that Rieslings are better suited for Sea Bass?  I didn’t.  I put some Sea Bass on order with the fresh fish market this morning for later this week.  Maybe I should pick up a bottle of Kendall-Jackson’s Riesling and give it a try since I have never tried that particular varietal.  It’s always good to experience something new.)

·         Fetzer Vineyards Honored a Second Time with Governor’s Award for Environmental & Economic Leadership (Congrats to Fetzer for minimizing their carbon footprint on the world.)

 

Kudos:

·         Cooley Distillery named World Distiller of the Year at 2008 International Wine and Spirits Competition Awards (This is supposedly the first time an Irish distiller has ever won this particular award.  Zwack Unicum also headed this list, but did not win out even though it has made a strong push in recent months toward brand name recognition.)

·         Diageo Supports Education in Cumberland and Wood River Junction, Rhode Island on Dangers of Drunk Driving and Underage Drinking (As always I do like to put social responsibility out where readers may view.  All the major companies play a part in educating consumers.  We are all touched in one way or another by those who do not take the responsibilities of drinking seriously.  Here is yet another example of one company among many who strive to right the wrongs of others by education.)

·         Diageo wins whisky piracy case in China (We may live in a world where lawyers are the butt of every joke conceivable and people threaten to sue for even the most minor of mishaps, but in cases of obvious infringement and piracy it is a good day to see justice prevail.)

·         Entertainment Fusion Group Continues to Sign New Clients Despite Current State of Economy Honestly I tried to find a website for the Zaya 12 Year Old Gran Reserva Rum.  You know it is the only reason I would pick up a press release like this.  But no.  I couldn’t find one. I did however find the following: 

 

“Zaya is estate produced and bottled in Guatemala where rich volcanic alluvial soils and tropical temperatures produce the best sugar cane in the world. Zaya is produced using the finest sugar cane hand selected from the estate. The selections go through an elaborate extraction process to obtain only the “pure virgin honey” of the concentrated juice, which is then double distilled in small copper pots to achieve greater complexity. The water and its limpidity are an important foundation of world class rum. Zaya uses indigenous natural artisan “Millenary Waters” that display purity that is beyond compare. Most countries require any rum to be aged for a year before bottleing. Zaya is gently matured for 12 long years in the finest oak barriques, imparting deeper, more complex and smoother flavors, before its release.”

New News:

·         Beam Global releases Ardmore 25yo; launches Laphroaig Triple Wood into travel retail (I love it that new spirits are released with such frequency.  I am greatly disturbed that so many are released exclusively to travel retail consumers only.  Disturbed.  Disappointed.  My buying dollar stays within my confined buying area even when I choose to be extravagant.  I hope someone is listening.  I buy locally as do millions.)

·         Jagermeister Shifts Into New Sports Marketing Arena with Major Sponsorship of Monster Energy(R) Supercross (Jagermeister is not my most favorite liqueur…until…it is the texture of the Oatmeal Cookie cocktail or shot which I wrote about early on in the beginning stages of my blog.  When I started out as a bartender I came to have a love/hate relationship with Jagermeister.  Oh, the shoes I ruined with spilled shots of Jager, but oh, the shots poured serving Jager up to many a patron!  Such is the life of Jagermeister.)

·         REMY BREAKS THE ICE – Heard of Cœur de Cognac?  I am not absolutely certain of its launch date, but it has beautiful packaging and the description is of course lovely.  Read the press accounting – it is a portion of an article – but here is what the official website has to say about Cœur de Cognac, the new Cognac by Rémy Cointreau:

 

“Cœur de Cognac, the new Cognac by Rémy Cointreau stands out from all the other cognacs in every way…its flavour, more rounded, fruitier, in short, tastier, is unique. The idea of the campaign is to pay homage to this difference and to make Coeur de Cognac a unique taste experience.

The campaign that you will discover in the press and on the walls evokes the ultimate in gourmet pleasures as much through the words used – the signature is “The most yummy cognac in the world” – as through the composition of the picture. The idea of the Mlle Noï Paris agency was to have major pastry chefs work on what a sip of Coeur de Cognac conjures up for them. Pierre Hermé, the pastry chef whose talent is recognised throughout the world and who is nicknamed by Vogue as the “Picasso of Pastry”, was the first to indulge in this experience.

To describe the flavour in his own words, it was proposed that he create a totally edible display around the bottle. That’s how he designed his vision of the “Cœur de Cognac” grape variety, full of end-of-summer fruits, sweet delicacies and miniature macaroons. Here grapes grow on the same branch as juicy apricots, vine leaves in spun sugar, redcurrants and even kumquats… This delicious display was immortalised by Mathew Donaldson, one of the top five still life photographers of the moment.”

·         Courvoisier reveals its new list of ‘rising stars’ – This is another interesting grouping of individuals who are at the upper level of their field.  Have a look at this post and the site for sure.  The site is listed in the links below under “cvt500”. 

·         Leading French Micro-Distiller Gabriel Boudier Introduces New Saffron Premium Gin to American Market (Boudier is definitely not new to the industry.  They carry a full line of premium products to choose from.  Take a look at the site for all sorts of mouth watering, tasty treat temptations.  Here is what the website has to say about the new Saffron Premium Gin:

 

“New Saffron Premium Gin from the world famous micro distillers of Dijon Gabriel Boudier was launched at Bar06 in June where it created huge interest with the trade. Based on an old colonial recipe of the 19th Century that was recently re-discovered, Saffron Gin contains eight fresh botanicals: Juniper, Coriander, Lemon, Orange peel, Angelica seeds, Iris, Fennel and Saffron. Saffron Gin is only produced in small batches using a traditional pot still.”

 

Want more?  There are a few recipes as well. 

Colonial Strawberry

Colonial Strawberry

50ml Saffron Gin

25ml Butterscotch

3 Strawberry

4 Basil Leaves

Strawberry Puree

 

Shaken- martini glass-garnish strawberry and basil leaf.

Butterfly Effect

“Butterfly Effect”

25 ml Saffron Gin

12.5 ml Havvanna 7

12.5 ml Boudier crème de peche

25 ml Orange juice

Orenadine lace

 

Garnish with physalis and Speared orange twirl

Argy Bhaji

Martin Millers Gin Red Snapper

·         New York City to Celebrate 75th Anniversary of the Bloody Mary on Red Monday – Here is Martin Miller’s Gin’s take on The Red Snapper:

Red Snapper

1-3/4 ounce Martin Miller’s Gin

5 ounces Tomato Juice

3 Dashes Tabasco

2 Dashes Lea & Perrins

Pinch Celery Salt

Salt & Pepper

Build in a long glass with cubed ice.  Garnish with chili or celery stick.

That’s all she wrote!  Thanks for tuning in.  Hope your holiday weekend was grand and you have recovered.  The coming weeks are devoted to the upcoming holidays with cocktails and gift giving ideas as they relate to the liquor world.  If you have ideas, please send them along.  I’d love to hear them. 

The Intoxicologist

Str8upcocktails@gmail.com

www.captainmorgan.com

http://www.drinkIQ.com

http://www.diageo.com/

www.winesofchile.org

http://www.lacrema.com/

http://www.kj.com/

www.beamglobal.com

www.laphroaig.com

www.fetzer.com

www.brown-forman.com

www.jagermeister.com

www.coeurdecognac.com

www.KahluaSavesTheHolidayParty.com

http://www.kahlua.com/

http://www.pernod-ricard.com/

www.cvtf500.com

http://www.efgpr.com/

http://www.boudier.com/

www.millersgin.com/us

I want to celebrate Barack with a bottle. I haven’t drank the dranky drank in quite sometime, so I don’t know what to choose. I’m thinking brown (for obvious reasons); something like Hennessey or Grand Marnier. My drinking buddy, Laura, thinks Bacardi represents Obama as well. Obama can represent brown AND white liquor, and while HE is mixed, the dranky drank shouldn’t be. That would be a divisive maneuver sure to seperate you from your intestines!

Well I know what I will be drinking when Bush leaves office…. Adiós motherfucker!!!

Comment! Discuss!

http://www.myspace.com/kinganyi

Kinganyirms@gmail.com

Sounds like a must for all you entrepreneurs and winners out there!

The Observer

There are few things in a gentleman’s life more bracing than the close encounter with naked steel afforded by a visit to Rutherford’s Hairdresser. A traditionalist in every sense of the word, this trusty barber goes about his business with brisk efficiency at the bottom of the market place next to the sweet shop.

The doorbell chimes as I enter the confectionary to equip myself with a range of fudges and peppermint bullseyes. The one legged proprietress wields the scoop with a dexterity belying her dreadful injuries – apparently sustained one harvest on the estate. Rumour has it that the right quantity of cider adds a certain sparkle to the eye – unfortunately for poor Beatrice, it was the wrong quantity of cider. The fall into the threshing machine was precipitous and her life was only spared by the timely intervention of Greaves, the farm labourer who in those days was a nimble chap, if absent minded and as Beatrice was to later attest, generous to a fault.

Equipped with the Racing News and a bag of Beatrice’s superb fudge, I enter the barber’s with keen anticipation. Rutherford approaches nervously, as unctuous as ever, possibly mindful of the time he unwisely offered me ‘a little something for the weekend’ and found himself on the receiving end of his own infernal electric trimmers. Sergeant Bullivant was very understanding at the time and the magistrate sympathetically recommended me to something called ‘Anger Management’ classes.

I’d never heard of such a thing and I was certainly not inclined to tolerate being patronised by a pack of perfumed window-dressers purveying nonsensical drivel at the behest of the nanny state. Miss Harbottle though was charm itself, arriving on a moped she insisted on referring to as ‘Percy’ she rattled through the lesson in double quick time and then suggested we repair to a local hostelry, there to imbibe a rather splendid cognac.

The Corvoisier Initial Extra apparently contains eaux-de-vie, the mix of aromas redolent of mushrooms with cigar leaves and the merest hint of oriental spices – Miss Harbottle insisted on cinnamon, but acknowledged the presence of vanilla and amber after several attempts. Memory failed me at some point that afternoon; suffice to say, on waking, my head throbbed in a manner reminiscent of my time on the Somme and of the divine Miss H there was no trace except a solitary garter festooned around my nethers.

Ensconced in the barber’s chair, the Racing News to hand and the comforting sound of Rutherford stropping his razor with grim determination in the background, I take the opportunity to survey myself in the mirror. A little greyer than last year certainly, but the pride and joy adorning the top lip is lustrous, vigorous and manly in every aspect. Sensing that all is right in the world I sit a little taller in my chair, relax and abandon myself to Rutherfords careful ministrations.