That’s ok with me because I have to go to work tomorrow and it will be a long and boring day.

So today I read the new Post Secrets which is this fantastic website that posts new and anonymous secrets on the website every sunday. I start every sunday this way, I wake up and read the new secrets and usually connect with many of them. After that I had breakfast, cleaned up the house for a bit, helped my parents, took the Christmas tree out to the garbage and sawed it into three pieces for the trash pick up on wednesday morning. Our tree is flocked but real and we can’t have the tree recycled so we need to put it in the trash. At this point I went to my room, found a movie to watch on Netflix, and watched it. This movie is called “A Little Bit of Heaven” and I loved every minute of this film! The whole production was fantastic and I loved the storyline and characters. After this I started to watch another movie I have been wanting to see for awhile now called “Blue Valentine” and I didn’t have time to finish it but so far I love the movie.

I decided to go to the 4pm Bikram Yoga class, my first hot yoga class for this year and I knew it was going to be a tough class because I haven’t done any yoga in 2 weeks and I am currently getting over a cold. So I suffered through the class and it was hard because for the last half of the class I couldn’t breath through my nose and for hot yoga you need to breath through your nose not mouth. I also had a stiff ankle, thigh and neck from my fall on my snowboard. But I am very glad I went to class because it was exactly what my sore body needed!

Once I got home I took a shower, got in my pjs and finished my workout plan. One of my resolutions is to do a 30 minute warm up every morning to strengthen my muscles and joints to help with my career and to help prevent injuries. So I now have this workout plan and will be starting this daily as of tomorrow, monday.

I spent the rest of the night watching Covert Affairs, Alias, Web Therapy and The Big Bang Theory. I know this is a lot of tv but when I have time to relax, I take full advantage of it, especially since I have now graduated from college and actually have time to relax and do things other than study, class and sleep. hahaha

Ok well I’ll be back tomorrow, I hope, but I’ll do my best, tomorrow will be very busy! Goodnight!

“Little Talks”  Of Monsters and Men

Have you ever heard a clip of a song on a TV show and it just gets stuck in your head and you can’t get it out?  And you don’t really want it out, but you have no idea what it was?  This was that song for me this year.  It was part of the season premiere of Covert Affairs last summer, and as soon as I heard it, I wanted to hear it again.

“Somebody I Used to Know” covered by Ingrid Michaelson/Army of 3

I like Gotye’s original, but I love this version.

“The Day that I Die” by Zac Brown Band

If you don’t want to hear me singing, don’t play this song, because I can’t help it when they hit the chorus.

“Ass Back Home” by Gym Class Heroes

Another sing along that you can dance to…

“Try” by Pink

I’ve always loved the honesty of Pink’s music, going back to “Family Portrait.”  There’s such a combination of strength and vulnerability.  I love her performances too.  I’ve never seen her phone it in.

“Sweet as Whole” by Sara Bareilles

This probably is my absolute favorite song of 2012.  I’d call it a guilty pleasure, but I’m really not ashamed.  Sorry Mom.

K-Pop by a chorus of extras…

Like most people, I spent part of 2012 watching Psy do his awkward horse riding dance.  ”Gangnam Style” is not on my 2012 list, but the next group of songs wouldn’t be here if Psy hadn’t paved the way.  I let Psy drag me down a YouTube wormhole, and discovered a lot of other South Korean, or K-Pop, groups because of his infectious little ditty.  Girls’ Generation, Exo-K, Wonder Girls, Super Junior, F(x)… all of the hours I’ve spent bouncing around the house this fall I owe to him.

Girls’ Generation – Oh (Korean Version) I actually much prefer the Japanese cover of this song, but I put the original Korean in this post because of the inclusion of an Iowa Hawkeye football helmet.  Doesn’t make sense, but Go Hawks!

Wonder Girls – Nobody (Japanese Version) I had trouble picking one Wonder Girls song for this post.  There are several I really enjoy.  This one made it on the list because, when it comes to the Wonder Girls,  this was my first love.

EXO-K – Mama (Korean Version) The music doesn’t start until a minute and a half in, but this is a visually arresting video.

Ok… One more K-pop girl group… F(x) – Electric Shock… just for fun…

There you have it!  Some of my faves from 2012.  If you have anything you think I should check out for the new year, let me know in the comments section.

Patience

There’s plenty of action in the main part of the show, though. With Auggie having stuck his out-of-office email message on, Annie’s in bother: she falls for a Khalid trap in Luxembourg, needs extracted, and Auggie’s USELESS deputy needs 30 minutes to set it up, so who you gonna call? Eyal, obv. He gets her out and they meet in Zurich, but get found again by Khalid’s men, whereupon Eyal allows himself to be captured thus letting Annie go free. Before he’s taken, though, he implants a tracker in himself, which means that Annie can follow him. And so to Amsterdam for next week’s finale.

http://delacruzsagabyptmacias.com/category/de-la-cruz-saga/hot-enchanting/

Read entire chapter, click on link.

Content for eighteen years and older.  Continue reading if over 18 years old.

Chapter Two 

The next day Jacki wakes up early and has breakfast. Yeah, my padres are still sleeping and so is Jessy. I don’t know why I always wake up early. I think I’ll take a walk before I go to the office. I love walking in the mornings, thinks Jacki smiling.

Jacki strides down the walkway, thinking about Ricky. Damn I know that I need to stop thinking about him. Jacki pushes her sunglasses up her nose. These sunglasses always slide down and it’s getting warm. What was I thinking? This was not a great idea. Estoy loca (I’m crazy), I wanted to take walk before it gets hot. Jacki turns the corner. I wonder if I will see Ricky. Si, I’m crazy, deduces Jacki shaking her head.

She turns the corner and watches Ricky drive away. Well at least he did make it back. I thought he stayed out all night with that vieja (broad). Why do I keep on torturing myself? OMG, he’s coming back, he’s going to see me. The sun glasses manage to slip off her face. She bends down to retrieve them.

Ricky parks on the side of the sidewalk exiting his carro (car). He watches her bend down to retrieve the sunglasses. Oh yeah, that’s a wonderful sight to behold. Hmmm, nice, real nice and I want some. I wonder who she is, contemplates Ricky attempting to control his hot reaction.

“Hello, hola,” says Ricky walking towards her smiling.

Jacki retrieves her sunglasses, looks quickly at him, and then she quickly puts them back on and blushes like crazy. She turns around, strides away from him.

Omg, he’s so cute and I love him. I have been dreaming of this moment forever.  I’m going to die. I don’t know what to say to him.  I can’t talk to him. Oh si I’m gone, muses Jacki.

She strides quickly down the side walk swaying her hips. The small shorts fit just right, hugging her sweet heart shaped bottom. She’s wearing some cute sandals that wrap around her ankle enhancing her legs. Her hair reaches halfway down her back, swaying as she rushes away.

OMG, I better hurry up and disappear. I can’t talk to Ricky, I will die from embarrassment. I know that I wouldn’t be able to say one single word. What was I thinking? I need to get home. It’s so warm out here.  I need to take another shower. I will then run into the office and finish some of the entries that I didn’t finish. I love to be on top of my work. There’s hardly anyone there right now, ponders Jacki turning the corner.

Ricky observes Jacki stride away. Damn it, why is she walking away? “Hello, wait a minute, I want to talk to you,” says Ricky watching her leave.

Why doesn’t she stop and talk to me? I want to meet her, she has an awesome ass and I want some. Damn yes, I love her hair. Who is she, ponders Ricky.

He walks back into the casa to get some cloths to go to the gym and runs into his mama. “Mama, I’m back. I forgot my bag. I’m going into the office for a few hours,” says Ricky giving his mama a hug and beso.

“Buenos dias (good morning) mi hijo, are you going to be here for lunch?” asks Mama Lupe hugging him back.

“Si I think so, I will call you if I change my mind,” replies Ricky. He walks away down the hall to his room. His cell phone rings, he notices that it is Davina, and he answers with irritation.

“Hola,” says Ricky closing his eyes. I need to be nice and patient. I can’t be mean to her, thinks Ricky.

“Hola Baby, I want to see you. I want you to come over now,” whines Davina rolling on her bed tangled in the sheets. “I don’t know why you didn’t stay the night. I wanted to wake up in your arms.”

“I never spend the night with any mujer. I told you that I couldn’t see you today. I also told you I will call you,” says Ricky shaking his head. He bends down to get the bag. “I have plans. I need to let you go. Enjoy your day.”

“Baby you’re being nasty to me. I know that you loved being in my arms. I want you now. I have some lunch ready,” says Davina looking out of the window.

Ricky strides out of his room down the hall. He waves at his mama walking out the door. He waits until he’s outside before responding. “Okay Davina, I will talk to you later. I have to go,” says Ricky ending the call.

I never can understand why these viejas chase me when I am not interested. Once, maybe twice is all I can handle. They never allow me to chase them. They don’t give me the chance to desire them.  I don’t want a relationship with her. She is not what I want in my vida (life). I’m not going to risk getting caught by the wrong mujer (woman). I don’t spend the night for a reason. I do not want to encourage them. It is bad enough without me encouraging them. Damn it, thinks Ricky sliding into the car.

I have some work I need to finish and I want to work out at the gym. It’s great that nobody will be there, thinks Ricky driving to the office. He goes to his office and starts to work on some paperwork.

  * * *

Jacki arrives at work quickly entering the elevator. OMG, I still can’t believe that Ricky talked to me. I need to lock up my emotions. It will not do me any good to think and dream about him, thinks Jacki pushing the elevator button.

Jacki exits the elevator walking down the hall to the accounting office. I wonder if anyone else came into work today. 

“Hi Jacki, so you decided to come in today? Susan and Debbie are not coming in,” says Sally Ann looking up from the computer. “I’m going to the break room to get some coffee. Do you want some?”

“Yes I’d love some coffee. You know that it’s the end of month on Tuesday. I don’t want to stay late for the end of the month. I want to get as much as possible done today,” replies Jacking smiling. “I’ll get the coffee for us.”  Jacki stores her purse away inside her desk.

“Okay, that’s great. I’m in the middle of this huge account and I don’t want to mess up. Thanks,” says Sally Ann grinning.

“No worries, I’ll be right back,” replies Jacki walking out of the office. She walks down the hall and into the break room.

Huh, I should go and check out the gym. I want to start working out. I haven’t worked out in a while. I allowed my gym membership to expire.  I have never looked into the gym that is part of our benefits. It’s available to us here. I need to see it or get any information on it that I can. There shouldn’t be anyone there right now. I’ll go and check it out before I get our coffees, thinks Jacki nodding.

She walks down to the gym opening the door and walks in. She looks around.  Wow, the gym is nice. They even have some nice music to work out with.  I love it. I wonder if there is any information posted or something.

Okay there is a wall over here and a small desk. Oh yeah, right here. Great, there is some weight training classes and some dancing classes. Wow, I’m impressed. I didn’t realize that the company offered so many classes for us, thinks Jacki leaning down the table to reach for a paper.

* * *

Ricky stretches and leans back in his burgundy leather office chair. Okay now I’m done with my paperwork. I’m going to work out and then get back to the casa to have some lunch with mi mama. Si, I know that she will make me my favorite torta. She always does when she asks me to have lunch, thinks Ricky smiling. He reaches for his bag and walks out of his office down the hall towards the gym.

Ricky enters the gym and looks around. I knew it would be empty. That’s why I wanted to work out this morning. I don’t want any interruptions. I need to relax and think. I feel like I need to make a game plan. I’m tired of dating these putas (whores). I want to meet a nice chica that will fill my senses. He strides to the men’s lockers and changes into his shorts and top.

Okay, I’m ready. I’m going to do some weights and then I’m going on the treadmill. Maybe I will go to the movies later after lunch. I wonder what Tony is doing, ponders Ricky working out. Oh yeah, this feels awesome. I’m letting my frustration out with this workout. I’ll run a few miles and then I’m done.

Ricky finishes his workout and goes to the locker room to take a shower. He can’t hear anything, but the pounding of the water on his back. He rubs the soap in his hands. He then runs his hands down his hard body.

I wonder who she was and why she didn’t stop to talk to me. Oh yeah, she had a sweet ass. I loved her hair swaying down her back. It looks soft and natural. The chicas that I have dated have their hair all bleached or dyed. This chica looks all natural and warm. Her legs are also awesome. But her cara (face) is so damn sweet and hermosa (beautiful).

She must live somewhere around my casa (house), because she was taking a walk, ponders Ricky smiling.

His hand wanders to his hot aching shaft thinking of the chica, closing his hermosos green eyes. He moans with pleasure as he starts to stroke his hot shaft.

* * *

Oh wow, I’m going to check out the locker rooms, thinks Jacki with the paperwork in her hands.

She reads the pamphlets walking into the locker room not thinking of checking if it’s the women’s or men’s locker room. She walks in and turns to the right to explore.

Oh dios mio (omg)! There’s Ricky in all of his beautiful glory. I walked into the men’s locker room! Jacki is stunned and continues watching him.

As the CIA continues to grapple with the consequences of the fake intel and the drone strike on Khalid Ansari, Arthur is summoned to appear before a Senate committee to explain himself, Joan goes all passive-aggressive with Annie, and Khalid’s girlfriend Megan goes missing from secure CIA custody. Annie, inevitably, takes this personally, and equally inevitably joins forces with Eyal to try and find Megan. By the end of the episode it isn’t entirely clear who the bad guy(s) is or are: Eyal, Mossad woman Rivka, both, or neither. The final scene, with Megan buying herself and Annie a whole heap of trouble by throwing her lot in with Khalid, added to the overall feeling that this episode was a set-up for the final two episodes of the season, and as such was decent but not exceptional by the show’s recent standards.

Click on photo to read. Enjoy!

Please leave a comment, I love to chat with you.

Patricia ♥

Hot & Enchanting, De La Cruz Saga Chapter 1
Click on photo to read. Enjoy!
Please leave a comment, I love to chat with you.
Patricia ♥

Chapter One

Okay, I have to hurry to get to Claudia and Vero’s casa. The De La Cruz twins are my best amigas ever. I love to visit them because they are so fun but also because I get a chance to see Ricky, the twins’ older hermano, thinks Jacki just trembling at the thought. 

The twins are beautiful and confident. I’m such a nerd, I’m happy that my hermana Jessy helps me with my outfits. Yeah, I’m lucky that the twins are my amigas. We have been amigas forever. We have a project that we have to get done. Time is flying quickly and we’re half way through our junior year in high school. I know what I want to study. I love mathematics and I want to be a CPA.

I want to get there before Ricky leaves. He’s always going somewhere. This is the only time that I get to see him, thinks Jacki walking quickly down the sidewalk.

I love and adore Ricky because he’s hot. He’s simply amazing. I have seen the tenderness and affection he showers his hermanas and mama. I love his personality and how confident he is. I have always seen him accomplish his goals.  

Claudia and Vero tell me what he’s up to and how tons of chicas pursue him. Wow, the chicas are really bellas. I know he will never notice me. I’m such a nerd, thinks Jacki.

She strides up to the door and knocks on the door. She looks around for Ricky’s car. Si he’s still here, muses Jacki.

The door opens and it’s Vero smiling. “Hola Jacki, come in. Claudia and I are almost done with our cupcakes.”

“Okay Vero,” replies Jacki following her into the kitchen.

“Hola Jacki, we’re almost done. We will do our project after we finish the cupcakes,” says Claudia nodding.

“Si, we need to get it done today,” says Vero cleaning up the mess that Claudia is making.

“Hola mi hija, nice to see you again Jacki,” says Mama Lupe smiling.

“Hola Señora,” says Jacki smiling. I’m so excited because I get a chance to see Ricky, thinks Jacki smiling.

Jacki stands behind the kitchen counter and leans against the wall to the side. She observes the twins make cupcakes for their familia Sunday dinner.

Ricky walks into the kitchen. “Mama, I’m going to the movies with the primos. I’m taking Tony with me,” says Ricky. He hugs his mama, not noticing Jacki.

“Si mi hijo, you have fun,” says Mama Lupe.

Ricky turns to the twins and gives them a hug. “Make sure to leave me a cupcake,” says Ricky. He turns and walks out of the kitchen. He didn’t notice Jacki leaning against the wall on the side of the counter.

“Okay, will do,” says Vero nodding.

Omg, he’s muy cute cute. I love watching him. He gives me a strange warm feeling inside. I know that he doesn’t know that I exist, thinks Jacki observing him walk out of the casa.

Jacki is watching Ricky and Tony get into the car wishing she was going in the car too. Finally she turns away from the window with a sigh and observes the twins finish pouring the batter into the cupcake pan.

* * *

Oh yeah, today I’m going to get my tattoo on my hip. Now I’m eighteen and nobody will ever know. Nobody knows this daring and slightly naughty side of me. They all see the nerd that is good at mathematics’ and always has her nose in a book.

 I have been dreaming of this forever. I love Ricky and I dream of the day that I’m his. I know that I’m a little loca, but I don’t care. I pray that someday he will notice me. I’m putting his name Ricardo Emmanuel inside a heart.

I know the chances of marrying Ricky are slim. I know he will never notice me but I don’t care. I will worry about it later, ponders Jacki walking into the tattoo shop.

“Yes, I want a tattoo of a heart with Ricardo Emmanuel inside the heart,” says Jacki to the young tattoo artist.

“Okay, here are some examples of hearts. Pick one and I will tattoo it on you. Do you know where you want it?” asks the tattoo artist.

“Yes I want it on my right hip. Wow you have some awesome tattoos. I like this one,” says Jacki.

“Okay come this way,” says the tattoo artist. He leads Jacki to a table. “Show me where you want it.”

Jack sits on the table and pulls down her skirt to show him where she wants the tattoo. Jacki blushes and bites her lower lip. Oh dios mio this is embarrassing but I have always dreamed of having his name on my hip near my heart, muses Jacki.

The tattoo artist starts working on the tattoo. He makes Jacki feel as comfortable as he can.

Wow, finally I have my tattoo, thinks Jacki blushing and smiling in the mirror. “Yes, this is exactly what I wanted,” says Jacki feeling very risqué.

“Okay, follow the instructions that I gave you,” says the tattoo artist.

*  *  *

A few years later, Jacqueline Cortez, Jacki turns to get her purse from her desk after she turns off the computer. “Ahh, hmmm,” murmurs Jacki stretching.  I’m so tired. I’m glad the work day is over. I’m going to get me a nice romance novel to read with a cold drink, but first I’ll go swimming a little. It’s such a lovely noche, thinks Jacki striding out of the office.

Jacki walks down the hall and into the elevator. Yeah, I’m often one of the last ones out of here, Jacki thinks walking to her carro.  Jacki opens her car door throwing her purse inside. The moment before entering she hears some voices. There’s laughter down the parking aisle. She turns looking down the end of the parking aisle that is reserved for the executives of the compania.

Jacki’s hermosos hazel eyes expand enormously, she’s irritated. Damn it, si there’s that wicked playboy at it again. Oh dios mio, will he ever stop. I have been watching him for years. It doesn’t help that I work for his compania now. No, I still struggle with my corazon every time I see him, especially when I see him with his mujeres. Okay, quiet mi corazon, he’s not for me. I have to stamp this in my corazon and alma, reasons Jacki standing outside her car.

Jacki is at her car, observing her eternal enchantment attempting to escape the arms of a hot hermosa mujer. Every word is echoed in the parking garage.

“Muñeca I’m going inside to my office for a quick minute. I need to get my portfolio. I forgot it,” says Ricky pulling away from the arms of the hermosa mujer smiling. “I’ll be back real soon.”

Ricardo Emmanuel De La Cruz, the in house attorney is the eldest son in his familia. He’s in charge of the building contracts. Ricky is known for his playboy ways. The chicas have pursued him since high school.  Every week he’s seen with a new chica. He’s never, ever taken a serious interest in one chica. Ricky loves them all.

Jacki is observing the entire exchange with disgust and annoyance. I have seen her before on the Spanish television station. She’s the new Latina model. Si of course Davina Sala and he always dates only hot bella mujeres, judges Jacki. She bites her lower lip with frustration.

The mujer giggles, pulling Ricky down closer to her. “Come and give me another beso and then you can go,” she laughs. She succeeds in pulling him down for another beso. “Oh, si Ricky I love your besos,” says Davina.

So what happens in 2nd Samuel?  I mean … there is some stuff, and I guess some of it is semi-interesting.  It basically follows the rest of David’s life (or most of it I think, because he doesn’t die at the end but he seems to be very old) after Saul is killed, including his rise to power as the king of Israel and then his rule as king.  Let me attempt to give a synopsis that isn’t ridiculously long:

The tribe of Judah wastes no time after Saul/Jonathan and co. are killed (at the end of 1st Samuel), and appoints David as king.  However, there is a problem with this, which is that some of Saul’s crew  are still alive and they have NO interest in David as king.  So Abner son of Ner, the commander of Saul’s army, appoints Saul’s son Ishbosheth as the king of all Israel.  Aawwkwaarrd.  So how does this little issue get resolved?  With battle and bloodshed of course!  Is there any other way?  The houses of Saul and David war against each other for a long time, but Team David grows stronger while Team Saul grows weaker.  Eventually, Team Saul winds up imploding on itself when Ishbosheth accuses Abner of sleeping with one of Saul’s concubines.  Abner is so angry with the lack of trust from Ishbosheth that he decides to switch sides and join Team David instead.  David makes an ally of Abner, only to have Joab (commander of D’s army) randomly kill Abner shortly thereafter.  Team Saul finally bites the dust once and for all when a couple of their own people kill Ishbosheth and bring his head to David.  David is NOT happy about this, but in the end, it opens the door for him to become king of all Israel.  He is 30 years old.

David’s first move as king is to attack the people of Jerusalem and take it over.  He does just that, and then some other king of an allied area sends carpenters to build a palace for him in Jerusalem, and he becomes more and more powerful because the “Lord God Almighty is with him.”  He names Jerusalem as the City of David.  As soon as our old pals the Philistines hear of all this, they try to attack, but of course David’s army defeats them.  In the meantime, David also takes a bunch more wives and concubines and has a lot more kids, cause he is a pimp.  Time passes and David rules like a boss and continues to smite the shit out of other people/nations left and right: The Philistines, Moabites, Syrians, Hadadezer’s army, Arameans, etc.  Baller.

Eventually around chapter 15, one of David’s sons, a dude named Absalom, starts to scheme against daddy.  He’s extremely patient and persistent too, because he literally spends either 40 or 4 years (depending on which version you read) cultivating a persona of a very friendly, empathetic and well-respected person amongst the Israelites.  And that’s when he sets his plan to take over in motion.  He basically starts rumblings amongst the people, and when David gets word of it, he decides that he needs to escape Israel for a while to avoid being attacked and overthrown by Absalom.  He takes his household and officials and soldiers and other loyal people with him.  But he strategically sends a few folks back to Jerusalem as spies for him, namely: Zadok the priest, his son Ahimaaz,  Jonathan son of Abiathar (different Jonathan than Saul’s son/David’s dearly departed buddy), and Hushai the Arkite.  Hushai’s job is to go back and pledge his loyalty to Absalom, and then try to sabotage any plans that Absalom makes to attack/overthrow David.

And that is exactly what Hushai does.  He convinces Absalom (against some better advice from another seer-type named Ahithopel) that he should take his whole army out to find David and kill not only David but ALL his men and everyone who is with him.  Then he sends Jonathan and Ahimaaz to give the intel to David so David can be prepared.  It works, and David’s army defeats Absalom’s army, and 20,000 men are killed.  Yay!  In the

Whoopsie!

midst of the battle, Absalom finds himself in a precarious situation when he’s riding his donkey and the donkey goes under a tree branch too fast and Absalom basically gets caught in the tree by his head.  He’s hanging from the tree by his head.  Someone informs Joab of this, and Joab (with the help of several soldiers) proceeds to kill Absalom by stabbing him three times with a javelin, and then letting the soldiers finish him off.  This is despite the fact that David had specifically instructed the army commanders to NOT kill Absalom, but take him alive.  David then hears about this and is beside himself and mourns and cries for his son.

Joab finally has to tell David to get his shit together and stop mourning for Absalom, because he was their enemy and it makes David look weak in the eyes of the Israelites.  David then pulls it together and comes back home to Jerusalem with the help of the house of Judah, which apparently causes friction with the rest of the tribes of Israel and they fight about it.  But David resumes his reign as king.  Some other random weird things happen in these last few chapters, but I’ll touch on those in the “Good Stuff” and “Bad Stuff” sections.  2nd Samuel ends with David being really old and singing songs of praise to God, but then the very last chapter of the book takes a bizarre turn:  God gets mad at Israel again for unknown reasons, and tempts David to take a census of Israel.  David does it, but then feels terrible about it and begs forgiveness from God (even though God was the one who told him to do it in the first place, and what the hell is so wrong with taking a census anyway??)  So as punishment, God sends a plague through Israel that kills 70,000 people.  Ummmm … ok.  Seems logical.  David then stops the plague by building an altar to God and sacrificing animals on it.  Because I mean, duh.  That’s how you stop plagues.  It works, of course.

That is the not-so-short synopsis of 2nd Samuel.  Let’s get to the Good and Bad stuff now:

Good Stuff

Like 1st Samuel, there are a few things in 2nd Samuel that could be considered good … ish, particularly when taken out of context.  Namely:

• In chapter 9, David decides that he wants to do something nice for a descendent of his old buddy Jonathan, to honor Jonathan’s memory.  Saul’s old servant Ziba tells David about Jonathan’s son Mephibosheth, who is crippled in both feet. He tells Mephibosheth, “I will restore to you all the land that belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will always eat at my table.”  He also brings in Ziba and his whole clan to work for Mephibosheth and M’s family is included in this as well.  M and fam then always eat at the king’s table from that point forward.
• This is a great example of a terrible story that has one glimmer of a nice element: In chapter 11, David sees a hot (married) chick named Bathsheba from a distance, bathing.  He sends out some peeps to go and bring her to him and he sleeps with her, and knocks her up.  David is now in a real pickle, especially because she’s married.  So how does he decide to deal with the problem of Bathsheba’s hubby Uriah (who is a really good guy, btw)?  He instructs Joab to put Uriah on the frontlines of battle (they’re at war at the time as usual) so that he’ll be killed!!  And he is.  And David then takes Bathsheba as his wife!  Great guy, David.  The absolute only good thing that comes out of this is the following:
  • Nathan, a prophet of the Lord, tells David a morality tale to convince David of what he has done wrong.  You can read chapter 11 if you want the details of the story, but it contains one verse that is the one and ONLY thing in the bible so far that has made me say, “Awww!”: “12:3 But the poor man had nothing, save one little ewe lamb, which he had bought and nourished up: and it grew up together with him, and with his children; it did eat of his own meat, and drank of his own cup, and lay in his bosom, and was unto him as a daughter.”  How cute, but don’t get too attached to this sweet little lamby though, cause she ends up dead and cooked (by someone else who steals her) by the end of the story.  But in any event, at least we have one extremely rare example (so far) of the Bible pointing out that just one of the horrific things that have occurred is actually … WRONG.  Most of the time, people just do horrible shit and God is either thrilled with it or completely indifferent.
  • This chapter actually explicitly mentions that God does not approve of what
    

    God Kills Babies

    David did, which is good, but then guess how God punishes David?  By killing the child that David impregnated Bathsheba with, via illness.  Errr … just when we thought things were looking up.  The Bible has a real way of pissing on its own parade, doesn’t it?

• In chapter 16, when David and co. are on the run from Absalom, they enter a town called Bahurim, and some Benjamite named Shimei taunts David and his peeps and throws rocks and dirt on them.  He says stuff like, “The Lord has repaid you for all the blood you shed in the household of Saul, in whose place you have reigned. The Lord has handed the kingdom over to your son Absalom. You have come to ruin because you are a man of blood!”  To be fair, he kinda has a point with the “man of blood” thing.  Anyway then in chapter 19 when David comes back to take his throne again after defeating Absalom, Shimei begs him for forgiveness.  Joab’s brother Abishai wants to kill Shimei for what he has done, but David stops him and says it would be wrong to put Shimei to death.  He has mercy on Shimei, and gives him an oath that he won’t kill him.

The thing is, I find it quite dangerous that any of these stories can so easily be taken out of context and make David sound like the greatest guy in the universe (and certainly this happens all the time).  Because if you don’t take the time to fully read the books, you won’t know that at least 95% of the time, David is not doing things that are all that admirable.  For instance, when Shimei tells David that the Lord is punishing him for being a “man of blood,” he’s actually completely wrong – The Lord is doing the exact opposite: He is REWARDING David on a regular basis for being a man of blood, and not only that, but taking it a step further and helping him do it.  Let’s not forget that the entire reason David was chosen by God over Saul in the first place was because Saul disobeyed God’s commandment to kill all the Amalekites (including women and children).  David, on the other hand, is a virtual killing machine most of the time, which seems to be exactly what God was looking for in the perfect king of Israel.  The fact that he occasionally performs some acts of kindness doesn’t have even close to the same meaning when you take it in the context of all the horrible things he’s spending so much of his time doing.

Bad Stuff

As usual, there is plenty of bad stuff in 2nd Samuel to discuss.  I’ll just pick out the more interesting examples:

• You may recall that at the end of 1st Samuel, Saul and his sons Jonathan, Abinadab and Malki-Shua are killed by the Philistines.  Well in the first chapter of 2nd Samuel, an Amalekite dude shows up to David’s place and tells him that he witnessed Saul being killed.  He says that Saul was dying and begged the Amalekite to put him out of his misery, so he did.  He then took Saul’s crown and band from his arm and brought them back to David as a gesture of goodwill and respect.  The guy had no reason to make the effort to bring this stuff back to David except to do what he felt was the right thing.  And how does David repay the man for his efforts?  He kills him.
• You may recall that in 1st Samuel, Saul had promised his daughter Michal to David if he could bring Saul 100 Philistine foreskins.  David brought back 200 foreskins for
  

  7 Wives are Better than 6

  good measure, but Saul still didn’t give him Michal.  In chapter 3 of 2nd Samuel, David rectifies this situation – He tells Abner (while Abner is proposing to switch alliances from Ishbosheth to David) that he’ll agree to the alliance IF and only if Abner brings Michal to David to take as a wife.  So he does.  Problem is, this woman already has a husband.  No matter.  “Her husband, however, went with her, weeping behind her all the way to Bahurim. Then Abner said to him, ‘Go back home!’ So he went back.”  David got what he wanted, and that’s all that matters.

• In chapter 6, David and his men go and get the Ark of the Covenant from Abinadab’s house (we last left it there for 20 years in 1st Samuel).  At one point, while the ark is being transported on a cart pulled by oxen, the oxen stumble, and Abinadab’s son Uzzah grabs the ark to make sure it doesn’t fall.  Then, “the Lord’s anger burned against Uzzah because of his irreverent act; therefore God struck him down and he died there beside the ark of God.”  Umm, wow.
• Later in chapter 6, the ark finally makes it to Israel.  Everyone is dancing and celebrating, and David apparently gets a little too wild, dancing nearly naked in front of everyone.  His wife Michal is NOT happy about this, and chastises him for it.  Michal then has “no children to the day of her death.”  Is this a punishment for her being a buzzkill to David??
• In chapter 8, while David is ruling Israel like a boss and smiting cities left and right,
  

  Power Through Fear & Intimidation

  there is a description of how he smites the people of Moab: “2. David also defeated the Moabites. He made them lie down on the ground and measured them off with a length of cord. Every two lengths of them were put to death, and the third length was allowed to live. So the Moabites became subject to David and brought tribute.”  Uhhhh … like I said: ruthless. killing. machine.

• In my synopsis of 2nd Samuel, I mentioned the story of how David enlisted his buddy Hushai as a spy against Team Absalom.  Hushai purposely gives Absalom different (and worse) advice than Absalom’s trusted seer-type advisor guy, Ahithophel.  Well, what I didn’t mention is that chapter 17 makes it clear that God is behind this – “For the Lord had determined to frustrate the good advice of Ahithophel in order to bring disaster on Absalom.”  The result of this is that Ahithophel is so ashamed that Absalom didn’t take his advice, that he commits suicide over it.  God is all, “eh.”
• When David leaves Jerusalem to escape Absalom, he takes his entire household with him except for 10 concubines, which he leaves to take care of the palace while he’s gone.  When Absalom takes over the palace, he sleeps with the concubines (that story is jacked on its own; read ch. 16 if you want details).  In chapter 20 when David returns home, he “provide[s] for [the concubines], but [does] not lie with them. They [are] kept in confinement till the day of their death, living as widows.”  Nice way of saying “thank you” for holding down the fort while he was gone.
• In chapter 21, three years of famine overtakes Israel.  David asks God how he can stop the famine.  God tells David that it’s a punishment for the fact that Saul had previously slaughtered the Gibeonites, even though God had marked them as “off limits” because of a peace treaty the Israelites had made with them some time
  

  How to Stop a Famine: Kill People

  earlier.  So David asks the Gibeonites what he can do to atone for this.  The Gibeonites tell David that if he brings them 7 male descendants of Saul that they can execute, then all will be forgiven.  So David does just that – He gives them “Armoni and Mephibosheth, the two sons of Aiah’s daughter Rizpah, whom she had borne to Saul, together with the five sons of Saul’s daughter Merab,” to put to death.  And the Gibeonites follow through on it: they kill all 7 of them and purposely leave their dismembered bodies out in the open.  We then have the heartbreaking story of Rizpah (mother of 2 of the victims) trying to protect the bodies from birds “from the beginning of the harvest until rain fell from the sky.”  God is clearly pleased by this though, because he then stops the famine.

• I already mentioned this in the synopsis, but the last chapter of 2nd Samuel involves the completely random and illogical census story.  God kills 70,000 Israelites with plague because David takes a census (after God himself tempts him to do so).  Why does God gotta be such a dick all the time??

You know, with every book I read of the Bible, it becomes more and more apparent what is really going on here:  Bad shit happens to the Israelites, they look for some way to explain why it happened, and only thing they can think of is that God is punishing them for one thing or another.  The land goes into famine for 3 years – God must be punishing them for a past sin by Saul.  A plague strikes the land and kills 70,000 people – maybe God is punishing them because David took the census.  David’s buddy Uzzah dies – It must be because of that time he touched the Ark to stop it from falling down.  A crazed maniac guns down 20 children and 6 adult faculty at an elementary school in Connecticut – it must be a result of us removing God from the school curriculum, or living sinfully, or whatever.  We still do the same shit today, but not quite as often, because we have better scientific explanations now for stuff like natural disasters and diseases.

But it’s human nature to need to find a reason why bad things have happened, and we go to whatever we have available to us to find that reason.  These days we can turn to science more often, but in the times of 2nd Samuel, they didn’t have any of that.  All they had was their supernatural belief system to use as a reference and for context.  So that’s what they used.  And unfortunately most of the explanations involve God being a huge raging asshole.  Is he getting a bad rap or is he really that terrible?  I have no clue, but all I can do is report what the Bible tells me.

Anyway, as for a rating of 2nd Samuel, I will put this one pretty much exactly on par with 1st Samuel in terms of the ratio of good stuff to bad stuff.  So:

1.5/10

Here’s to hoping I can get my shit together and get through Kings 1 in less than 3 1/2 months.

Merry Christmas! Check out my poem!  

“She rages through my blood, is etched in my alma, and fused to my corazon.”

quote Ricardo De La Cruz

Hot & Enchanting, De La Cruz Saga

FREE FREE FREE

12-25-12 and 12-26-12 ~ http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00AJCNQ28

Follow blog to enjoy one De La Cruz Saga books that will be starting in December.

Will post a chapter a week.

• Project 4 Awesome. This is a truly marvellous youtube concept and is a magnificent way to discover new and exciting youtubers. The best I’ve seen [I missed the livestream so I haven't seen that many] was emilieofnewgloom’s video for the Alzheimer’s Society of Canada, it is a beautiful video. Emily has been a favourite youtuber of mine for a while now and I’m so pleased she has gotten recognition for her efforts. I’ve wanted to make a P4A video for a while now but simply didn’t get the time, unfortunately. Next year.
• Sarcaschicks. These girls are fantastic and this week I’ve watched two months worth of their old videos. Lindsey’s video about make up stands out for me. She was honest and made me question why it is I wear make up. I’ve consoled it’s more of a personal decision rather than society enforcing it on me. Lex’s video has urged me to find animal cruelty free make up. I don’t wear that much but in future, when I do purchase more, I’ll keep this in mind.
• Tavi Gevinson.I’m a huge fan of Rookie Mag, an American based teen magazine. The editor is sixteen year old Tavi, who started her own fashion blog as an eleven year old. She has been to fashion weeks all over the world and has been endorsed by fashion identities such as Anna Wintour and Karl Lagerfeld not to forget Lady Gaga which is incredible. I am amazed by this and am seriously questioning myself creatively, Tavi’s opportunities are unreal and she’s gotten there through sheer determination. I spent last night learning more about her journey and am inspired. She says her time management is a huge factor of her success in the different fields in her life, so that’s definitely something to contemplate.
• Oh and the world is going to end today. Yay. I’ll be pretty disappointed if it does occur today, seeing as Australia is pretty much ahead of many countries of the world, time wise, so that kinda sucks. Also because I have a great day planned. I’m going to Rise of the Guardians with my friend today and if the world ends halfway through the movie I will be totally bummed. Later this evening me and a few friends will be having an Apocalypse party, and I’m pretty excited. It’s just another excuse to get together and be ridiculous so that’ll be good.

This week after being urged by friends, I began watching The Walking Dead. I’m up to the finale of season 1 and still not hooked, maybe the cliff-hanger will get me. I’m simultaneously watching Gilmore Girls [again] Buffy, Community, 30 Rock, Covert Affairs and Once Upon a Time or whatever’s on television. I think I’ve discovered my own time management issues

Aside from that, I created this blog, one I hope to document my week’s and days. This will be a very indulgent blog and for that I refuse to apologise. My tumblr blog, due to tumblr culture, is more about the amount of people interested in what I’m interested in. The obsession with numbers drives me a bit nutty. I don’t have a great deal of followers but the followers I do have are so darn lovely, I’m rather lucky.

I’d better go start living my life. Enthusiasm. Yay.

Farewell.

Okay, he’s finally arrived. Oh dios mio, he’s a gorgeous man.  Ricardo Emmanuel would be described as hot.  Ricardo has a square jaw with awesome high cheek bones.  His nose is straight and he has full delicious lips.  Ricky is tall and lean with defined muscles. He has incredible green eyes with long black eyelashes. His skin tone is golden brown. He maintains his black hair a little long, just reaching his collar.  Wow, no wonder the chicas chase him. He’s HOT!  

I would like to introduce Ricardo Emmanuel De La Cruz.  Ricky is an attorney and he’s a manager in his familia’s company.  He’s young wealthy, confident, fun-loving, and warm.  He’s a gentleman, assertive, and sexy.  Ricardo is in control of his life.

Hi Ricardo, thank you for allowing this interview.  It’s fantastic that you’re this year’s selection for the Hot Sexy Playboy in Southern California. 

Hi Patricia, it’s an incredible surprise.  I never expected to be selected as the playboy in Southern California.  I definitely never contemplated that I’m viewed as a playboy.

Ricardo can you tell us what drives you?

I’m driven to help my familia’s company to excel. My deepest desire is to seek my alma gemela (soul mate). I’m tired of the crazy chicas that chase me.  I’m baffled that Jacqueline runs away from me.  This is a first and my greatest challenge yet.

What is Ricardo Emmanuel’s favorite guilty pleasure?

I love my mama’s tortas, but my number one guilty pleasure is to make love.  I love to make love, but now I only want one mujer.

Ricardo what is your weakness?

My weakness is women and I’m going loco. I only want Jacqueline Cortez.  She’s my weakness.

Ricardo what is your fondest memory? 

My fondest memory is the day that I saw Jacqueline for the first time.  That day was incredible.  I obviously can’t describe the moment (Ricky grins).

Ricardo can you share three of your deepest, darkest secrets. 

I do not enjoy the chica’s chasing me.  I would prefer to do the chasing.  Jacqueline and I have been seeing each other for a while and the familia doesn’t know. 

A biography has been written about you. What do you think the title would be in six words or less? 

Ricardo’s world is rocked hard. 

The next time I will not let her leave. 

Why do I always have these locas after me? 

Ricardo what is your favorite sexy food?  

I love chocolate covered strawberries. 

I love to make love to my reina Jacqueline, because it feels like coming home.  It’s pure red hot pasión and amor. 

What is it about Jacqueline that drives you loco?

The key element that drives me loco for Jacqueline is that she’s my alma gemela (soul mate). She rages through my blood, is etched in my alma, and fused to my corazon.  I love that Jacqueline is sweet and natural.  The best part is that she’s delicious, passionate, and only mia for eternity.

Ricardo it has been a pleasure interviewing you.   I can see why you were selected for this year Hot Sexy Playboy in Southern California.

Patricia, I want to thank you for such an enjoyable visit. (He grins winking at me.)

A hot-blooded saga of the De La Cruz familia and their fortunes is centered on romance, pasión, and danger. Enjoy their explosively passionate nature.

Ricardo Emmanuel De La Cruz is the hot sexy alpha playboy of the De La Cruz familia. As an attorney and one of the managers in the familia’s company, he enjoys being pursued by the chicas.  They have been chasing him his entire life.

Ricky literally runs into Jacqueline Cortez. She’s a bella, shy, and quiet certified public accountant that works for la familia.  Jacqueline turns his world upside down.

Jacqueline Cortez has been in love with Ricardo her entire life. She never dreamed that running into him would unleash the amor she had locked up a long time ago.  Will she be able to outrun Ricardo and avoid being his next conquest? How long can Jacqueline resist Ricardo’s attentions? Is she doomed to fall under his enchantment and into his waiting arms?

Excerpt

Ricky is in a hurry getting out of his carro, damn it I’m almost out of time. We have a meeting with the new client and I have to make sure that the contracts are correct before I turn them over for Jose Enrique’s review. Si I hate running behind schedule and I’m always on it. I don’t usually arrive so early at the office, thinks Ricky grabbing his portfolio from his carro.

Ricky strides into the hall to get the elevator, missing it, watching the doors close. He stops in shock, damn it, that’s the hermosa muneca from yesterday, thinks Ricky standing, watching her just before the doors close.

Wow, I totally missed an opportunity to talk to the muneca. How can I get to know her? I know that she recognizes me. She is looking at me with shock. Yeah, she didn’t expect to see me and I sure as hell didn’t expect to see her.  I need to talk to her outside of the building. I don’t want to cause any issues with la familia’s company employees, ponders Ricky impatiently waiting for the elevator to come down. I know that she works here, but a lot of good that does me. My body won’t calm down, I’m totally awake now. I don’t know what it is about her that provokes these amazing overwhelming reactions. 

Amazon.com Widgets

USA has greenlit a pilot of Horizon, which comes from Valhalla Entertainment. It tells the story of a secretary at the FBI who discovers her husband might have been killed in a battle with a spaceship in the South Pacific.

Horizon, which Valhalla will coproduce with Universal Cable Productions, is the first genre series since The 4400 and its first ever period drama. It will join other original series on the network including Suits, Burn Notice, White Collar, Royal Pains and Covert Affairs.

Another new series, Graceland, is due to begin in summer 2013, while filming has recently wrapped on comedy pilots Paging Dr Freed and a remake of British series Sirens.

Source: USA Network/Futon Critic

One of the Mossad’s human assets has disappeared, as has her intelligence-gathering watch made by the famous McGuffin company. So the CIA and the Mossad are to work together to recover the watch, but Annie’s under instructions to “handle” Eyal, and vice versa. The episode has one or two pert observations to make about USA/Israeli relations, but without getting preachy, which wouldn’t work in this show. It turns out, though, that the Mossad is up to something else with Annie, and – at a guess – that “something else” might have necessitated Eyal’s rescue of Annie last week. Not only has Covert Affairs offered many other shows a lesson in how to handle a season-long arc, but episodes like this demonstrate how you can add layers of complexity without baffling or alienating an audience. Another really good episode in a really good season.