It wasn’t until yesterday that I discovered the true beauty of Mt. Baldy. A coworker of mine, who lives there, decided to have everyone in the office over to his house for lunch where his wife and son joined us. The best part is that it was only a 20 minute drive from my office in Claremont.

Dirt road leading to our lunch spot

Walking back to the house from our little hike to the creek

Creek running about 500 feet from the house

My god, if I had seen a for-sale sign anywhere around then I would already be moved in to my new home. With the creeks, giant trees, and only the sound of nature I was in heaven. Just to show you how great this place was, I wasn’t even mad about the lack of cell service.

He gave it to her! I swear I want to bitch slap him.

Then TB says to him, “Do you mind if I go cash this now because I need to go by the mall and get a shirt.”

Seriously, WTF? Who comes to work late, works an hour, then leaves to go clothes shopping during the work day??

He tells me he feels he has to go because of office politics. He says the bosses don’t like him as much as the other two guys (true) and that he needs to go.

I said, “Is your girlfriend going?” He says no she’s going to some women’s night out thing.

Then I remembered hearing the guys talking yesterday about how to tell someone (I didn’t realize who at the time) she should go have fun in Houston and not have to go to the boring work party and pretend like you’re doing it for her and she’ll fall for it.

So now I see he’s either a pig too, or too afraid to appear to be a pussy to the other guys. I should have called him out on it.

I sat down for my lunch break at 5:30. We have a tiny space for eating in the office, wedged between the water cooler, a fridge, and a pile of garbage no one bothers to take out. The garbage grows–much like the boxes of misprints that has quickly become another flammable fire hazard.

Paul came back from grabbing food at McDonald’s. He had ordered some new fangled thing, a Bacon, Onion, and Cheddar something or other. He asked for a side of Mac sauce.

He sat across from me as I ate my salad. He opened up his bag, pulled out the carton with the burger, and a smaller one maybe a quarter of the size of the first.

“Man,” Paul said, “I asked for Mac sauce, and they gave me tartar sauce. What is this shit?”

Paul pulled apart the bun to smear sauce on.

I found myself puzzled by whatever new item he had acquired. I wasn’t paying attention much as I ate my salad, but I sensed there was something clearly wrong with Paul’s dissected burger in front of me.

“What the hell!” Paul exclaimed. “There’s no meat!”

I burst out laughing. “Enjoy your bun and tartar sauce.”

“I know, right? Shit, it’s not even worth walking back there for my two dollars.”

“But you should let them know they’re qualified to work at this place. They’d fit right in.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think they’d want to lose their benefits for a dead end job like this–they got more than this place.”

Both of us started laughing so hard, and neither of us cared that M’s office, with its cheap, thin walls, was right behind us.

“Goddamn,” said Paul, “I gotta cut down on my Mickey D’s.”

“Cut down on what?” I asked.

“My Mickey D’s.”

“Oh, I thought you said ‘meat.’ I was gonna say, you’re doing a great job already with your meatless burger.”

Here’s a quick recap with some Dos and Don’ts:

Thursday

Dinner at Wilson’s Tavern

I headed to this newly renovated bar in Arlington after work for a friend’s birthday. It was a pretty nice place, minus a dark atmosphere and music that was too loud. The food was really good (even though mine came out a little late). But let’s be serious, we went there for the half off bottles of wine and $3 16 oz. PBRs.

The Dos & Don’ts

1. Do check out the Happy Hour specials before you go. Some are much better than others.
2. Don’t order the Fried Calamari; it seemed to lack the calamari.
3. Do order the French Dip, scrumptious!
4. Don’t go if you have a large party – it’s hard to hear so you need to sit close.

Friday

Oceanaire, Nationals Game & Penn Social

A few of my friends and coworkers caught a Nationals game together. A very impromptu plan, but we were able to get $11 tickets off StubHub only hours before the first pitch. We of course pregamed at Oceanaire, which is close to my office. As a seafood lover, the food there is fantastic, but the beer and atmosphere are pretty average. We were the only group under 35.

Unfortunately, the game only lasted two hours and was pretty boring, but we still had enough time to get in plenty of $8 Miller Lights. We decided to post-game at Penn Social – prices are average, but with the extra-large dance floor, the people-watching is always top notch.

The Dos & Don’ts

1. Do buy more than one beer at a time at the game. The bars are crowded and the servers don’t come around often.
2. Don’t skip out on the ball-park food. Unfortunately the game was so short I didn’t have time to grab a hotdog and I’m definitely regretting it.
3.  Do learn how to have fun with your coworkers. I once wrote that you need to be careful around them while drinking, but never be afraid to be yourself and show off your awesome dance moves.
4. Don’t accidentally give your cab driver $30 instead of $11 on the way home. Lesson learned.

Saturday

National Harbor

After chugging nearly a gallon of water to help cure my hangover, I met my family at National Harbor just outside of the city. It was my first experience there and it was fantastic. The weather was beautiful and the piers/boardwalks were so relaxing.

We did a little bar hopping and then went back to the hotel, which was fantastic! Because it was a last minute plan, we didn’t stay at The Gaylord, but we stayed right next door at the Marriot. If you’re looking for a great alternative, this place is it! Full kitchen and view of the harbor. We ate dinner at Cadillac Ranch, which sounds pretty cheesy, but it was right next to our hotel. The sirloin I ordered was cooked to perfection!

The Dos & Don’ts

1. Do scope out the outdoor seating arrangements before sitting down. We got stuck at a table surrounded by gnats.
2. Don’t take your shoes off in the beach area of the harbor. What looks like sand is a rocky substance that hurts your toes.
3. Do test out as many places to eat & drink as possible. I think bar hopping and getting to see the various scenes of the Harbor was my favorite part.
4. Don’t skip the Potomac Gourmet Market. After a few libations, I particularly enjoyed their cheese samples and making friends with a fellow Southern Marylander!

Sunday

No Plans!

My Sunday was spent catching up on the little things in life like laundry, cleaning the apartment, going for a run around my neighborhood (in my new Redskins shorts!) and cooking the boyfriend a nice dinner.

The Dos and Don’ts

1. Do drink some coffee and a protein shake to help get rid of your hangover before you attempt any of this.
2. Don’t go running right after you complete the above. Your coffee will kick in and your jog will turn into a desperate sprint back home.
3. Do fold your laundry with the windows open to enjoy the fresh Spring breeze before a light April Shower.
4. Don’t forget to read the warning label on your taco seasoning that says, “Hot Taco Seasoning, Made with Chili Peppers.” Yikes.

But my Monday yesterday became amazing by epic proportionals.

                          Le Fail Whale

First there was seeing the number of orders now late. So many. Too many to count. This is going to be epic madness and chaos. (I feel happy not to be in customer service now.)

I asked Jack how many voicemails were in our system. 800. EIGHT BLOODY HUNDRED.

We have about 13-16 customer service representatives. Even if they all started listening to the voicemails, they would never finish—and it would come at the expense of not answering our current phone calls.

Ba ha ha.

BAHAHAHAHAHA.

And there are countless unanswered emails. Hundreds, I think.

There are also over 100 misprint claims (orders that were fucked up, were shipped late and/or arrived after a customer’s event, or lord knows what else happened.)

Around 2pm, the one girl who does Misprints, the only person, I should say, quit. No notice. Just got up and quit.

And then my day became fantastic.

This place will fail so hard, even the fail whale looks like a beacon of success.

Manny seemed a bit panicked and said, “Oh god, I’m going to train Aaron [an employee who has been with us less than a week!] tomorrow on how to do Misprints. I’m just going to tell him to do whatever the customer wants. Otherwise we’ll have 25 BBB complaints.”

Over 100 Misprints and he’s going to give them whatever they want? This will cost the company so much money. Bwahaha!

I’m so happy, I may just skip a little on my way to work. Or do the Fail Whale Boogie. This week looks so promising…!

Your boss calls you and your team into her office, tells you the company acquired a new client and your team has been assigned to handle their needs. You’re dreading her next words telling you that you must work as a group on a specific task. Some of the phrases running through your head are “But I always end up doing all the work!” or ” John always takes all the credit!” We feel you. Not everyone works well in a group, or has your work ethic and communication skills. It can be hard to work with people you wouldn’t otherwise be around. Even if you don’t work directly with them maybe they like to start rumors and you are worried you might be their next victim.

When it comes to work, there are several different ways you can handle a trouble co-worker. Of course there’s the option that some of you might want to take where you yell in their face by the water cooler. However, that is definitely not the best option and you are creating a bad reputation for yourself even if they did create the problem in the first place. Your reputation is what makes or breaks you when you’re being considered for raises, promotions, or any other opportunity. Needless to say we have put together a few tips on how you should handle difficult co-workers.

1. Be the better person.

Easier said than done right? But ultimately it’s better for you. Not only does it make you feel better when you realize that you didn’t stoop to their level but it looks better to management. Believe me, managers notice more than you think. Try to distance yourself from any co-worker you are having trouble working with that isn’t necessary. If you must speak to them, only talk about work-related issues and definitely not about other co-workers.

2. Keep a positive attitude.

Negativity is annoying, and contagious. Nobody wants to be around a Debbie downer all the time! Even if your co-workers are annoying and bring you down try to see the positive side of things. If this is a struggle think about all the good things outside of work that this job brings you. If you can’t think of anything then you may need to think about getting a new job!

3. Ignore the person.

Everybody’s mother used to tell them this in elementary school when the mean girl who sits behind you won’t stop heckling you and kicking the back of your chair. Ignore them! Most people who are exceedingly annoying and bothersome are doing it for a reason…to get a rise out of you! So guess what? once they stop getting a rise of you they will most likely get bored on move onto something or someone else. (Yes, this option still works)

4. Take action.

If uncooperative co-workers are so bad that they are affecting how you do your job, it’s time to tell someone. Sometimes people don’t realize that they are being troublesome or realize how they are coming off to others. A person of authority talking to them about their attitude can sometimes go one of two ways; they realize their wrongdoings and stop, or they at least get so embarrassed they stop.

5. Make the most of it.

If you truly love what you do, and have a great life outside of work chances are you’ll be ok. Focus on the things you love about your job, like the fact that you’re on the coffee list, and that you can see that bird’s nest in that great big tree out your window. It’s the little things people. I’m sure you have some co-workers you do like! Surround yourself with them, they will bring you up and allow you to really respect everyone in the office. Focus on the task at hand, after all, it’s the reason you’re there right?

(queue hi hat with a souped up tempo)

alright stop, get off my ass and listen
there’s no toner left so quit your bitching
nothing is gonna make that Xerox print shit
it needs to be replaced, can’t you see the button’s lit?
will it ever start, yes! ask Tammi to address
the fact it doesn’t work and then give it a fuckin rest
isn’t it obvi that I’m on a fucking deadline
leave me alone and stop wasting my time

Chillin, in my ergo chair
this dude’s still trippin and he thinks I care
unhinged, I’m losing it real quick
one more fuckin word and I’m unleashing on this dick
shut up or shove off
get the fuck out of my way
being your assistant
is a game I won’t play
if you’ve got a problem, no, I won’t solve it
get Tammi on the phone and have her resolve it

To move away from this we need to diminish the layers that we have to make each conversation count. We can think of the layers as a wall that we have built up to prevent people from getting too close to us. Another factor is the lack of authenticity that we present in conversations. We may think that we are being authentic, but when we put it into practice it is much more difficult than we anticipated.

Many of us might say how we truly feel in a given situation, but go back on our word in a different setting. For example, among coworkers we may divulge what we think about the new computer software or the new employee, but when our manager asks us, we don’t tell them the same thing that we told our coworkers. Instead, we lie to our manager and mask our true opinion. The reason for this is that we are uncomfortable with having real conversations because we do not know how to discuss important things. Also, we fear what will be said so we avoid having real conversations.

It was with that gag reflex in tow that I found myself searching the Internet for ideas on battling that great evil we know as writer’s block. I skipped past a number of ideas and suggestions before landing on a list of writing exercises, on which I found a simple prospect: observe the world around you right now…describe it in as much detail as possible.

I whipped out my pen and notebook and began immediately, but soon found my pen stalling. While an interesting idea, it wasn’t exactly exciting to describe an industrial control room…it’s pretty much just desks and computers. But then I got a different idea…I glanced at the coworker to my left and began describing him: his face, his clothes, his mannerisms…whatever I could see or knew from having talked to him. Then I moved on to the next coworker and the next. I wrote everything I knew about them or could see by a quick glance in their direction. I wrote about the bosses and the secretary. I wrote about the field technicians who came in the discuss issues. I wrote about the engineers we share the building with. I wrote thoroughly and honestly. Over the course of three days I wrote over 3000 words just on descriptions of the people around me at work.

I thought this turned out to be an excellent exercise for two reasons. For one, character descriptions is something that is difficult to get right when writing fiction, since you want your reader to be picturing the character the way you do, but you don’t want to bore them to death by ranting on and on about physical details and personality traits. I found over the course of this exercise I slowly got more information in while being more succinct. The other reason is that when I was finished with my exercise I found myself presented with approximately two dozen perfectly viable characters. Names would have to be changed, to protect me from my own brutal honesty, but other than that I now have a small smorgasbord of possible characters to choose from the next time I need a new addition to one of my stories.

What do you think? Does my exercise sound like a worthwhile one? Will you give it a try? Or have you done something similar before? Please share!

I haven’t blogged about my dreams lately, but if you like reading about them, you’re in for a real treat tonight (well, that’s a matter of opinion, I suppose).  I should have written better notes after the dreams, because I’ve forgotten the details of one.  All I have for notes is, “Evil Genius on Sub”.  One can only guess what that one was about….

In another dream, I’m in a buffet line at a hotel, getting ready to pig out.  And what do I do?  I load my plate up with salad, just like I do at Jerusalem Bakery in real life, most Sundays after church.  Only in the dream, I take only salad.  No plateful of meat.  How sad.

In the next dream, I’m a passenger in a mini-van, going to the driver’s house with her kids.  We are stuck in traffic on a little two-lane highway.  Cars are backed up from the gate at the county fair.  While we’re creeping along, we begin discussing the railroad museum on the side of the road — an old depot, some cars and locomotives.  A pair of tracks cross the highway, and as we’re crossing the tracks, I notice each track is different.  One is from regular train tracks and the other is from a streetcar line (now, in real life, I have no idea whether the tracks are different, but they were in the dream).  I mentioned it to the others in the mini-van, and woke up.

Then, I was a passenger in a mini-van again.  We were parked at a gas station.  My coworker, Diana, was talking to the passenger in the shotgun seat.  I didn’t hear what was said, but I opened my door and stood up on the threshold, so I was looking over the top of the car at Diana.  She looked at me, then walked away.  We, the mini-van occupants, climbed back in and drove to a place where the county was handing out used county-orange hoodies to homeless people, for charity.  One of the other guys walked over to the folks handing out hoodies, trying to hide his identity, as if he were ashamed to be getting one.  He hid his face with his hand until he came back to the mini-van.  I decided it was my turn, and walked over to the charitable county employees.  But I wasn’t ashamed.  I was having fun, as if it were a game.  Someone handed me a hoody splashed with paint, and the sleeves were cut off.  On my way back to the mini-van, I figured out what was going on.  We would be part of a protest at work.  The hoodies were props to wear, to give the impression we were nearly homeless because of our low wages.  Then I realized, Diana had been one of the organizers and it was her idea for us to get the hoodies.  After getting our hoodies, the group of us climbed into a bus.  There were big boxes in the back rows, and one person was sleeping in the back row, almost buried by the boxes.  there were mattresses in the aisle, and two of us flopped onto the one near the boxes.  I was pretending to fall asleep, but it wasn’t easy because an attractive woman protester flopped down near us.  My buddy and she began talking about the protest, but I woke up instead.

In my last dream, I stood in line at the cafeteria in a hospital, waiting for a burger and soda I’d ordered.  After getting the food, I scooted my tray along the rails that all cafeterias seem to have.  I stopped at the cashier.  I remember she said the burger and soda cost $11.  I remember thinking, what a racket!  A similar burger and soda would only cost $2 at McDonald’s (I remember thinking the same thing, buying food at the McDonald’s at Disney World — the McDonald’s back home would only charge….).  I talked to the cashier for a few minutes about politics, and how the way my friends and relatives felt about the government made me nervous.  I said they seem to equate our government with enemies like Iran and North Korea.  I told her if any issue could spark a civil war in this country, it would be the issue of gun control.  ”Try to take away guns from the wrong person, and if his friends decided to band together instead of letting the ATF get their way with him, it could cascade, and we could soon have a rebellion.”  She agreed, and reminded my I owed her $11.  I counted out my money and gave it to her.  She went on break, and I carried my tray into the dining room.  And then I woke up….

We were to start setup at 3PM.  I didn’t get there till a few minutes after 4.  I know how these things work, especially with my team being comprised of my work team.  Yeah, organization is not our strong point right now.  Ha!  In hindsight, I wish I’d waited till 5:30PM to get there.  There was just a ton of sitting around waiting.  I took a huge bag of papers to grade.  It took the entire night to grade them – more on that later.

We started with the first lap AFTER the Survivor’s Lap that opens the ceremony.  Opening ceremony was ok.  Not too time consuming.  We did two laps and one of the team member’s kid started for our team.  At 7:30, I did my first turn.  It was about 30 minutes.  After that, I graded papers for a while.  It must have been a long while.  I remember doing a 45-50 minute stint around 10:30ish.  After this point, it all began to fall apart.

By now, we were down to, essentially, four team members.  Wha???   Where is everyone?  Well, we had two team members who were part of the “committee”.  So why, oh why, where they on our team?  Well, we needed their fundraising to reach our goal.  Then we had about four team members just not show up.  Some sort of medical emergency.  Folks, if you’re married and your child has an issue, it only takes one parent to take care of that kid.  And it is not like we had to stay the entire night.  Folks could have come and contributed and left at will.

I ended up doing a couple of hour long stints throughout the night.  I don’t mind.  I needed – and wanted – the exercise.  It was just the fact that it was supposed to be a team effort.  It ended up being a handful of folks’ effort. 

The event provided a lot of entertainment.  A live DJ.  A live band.  A hypnotist.  A comedian.  An aspiring singer from the community.  They also bought pizza for the entire event. 

I did manage to get all of my papers graded as the ending ceremony was announced.  I didn’t take the ending “Victory” lap.  I just wanted to get my stuff together and get the heck out of there.  I was riding on fumes, and my main concern was making it to the gas station.  I was also hoping to get a decent nap before church. 

Will I participate next year?  I don’t know.  Right now, I’d have to say “no.”  However, I have sooooo many family members fighting cancer RIGHT NOW.  And so many family members who have lost the battle.  I would feel guilty if there was something I could be doing to help in their fight, but not doing it.

I don’t want to be a team captain, but next year I will consider the team I’m on carefully.  I might go in with the folks that we troopers this year and try to recruit some folks who might make it a good deal.  OH, and I’ll have a signup sheet (and a baton) before the event so that people know when they need to be walking.

All in all, I had a fun time.  And if you have a chance to relay, I hope you do – with the right team. 

*so much is happening  this week, more blogging to follow

I had fun, having my daughter at work last Thursday.  When we were at my desk, she did homework — but she wasn’t at my desk most of the day.  We arrived at work around 7:45am.

Around 8:15, we went upstairs with my coworker Diana and her son, to get some donuts.  While we were climbing the stairs, I could swear I heard her son say he was getting beat going up the stairs by an old man.  I’ll have to say, he says it the way he sees it, but I found the comment a funny one, because compared to 8 years old, I was an old man, and I WAS beating him going up the stairs.  Kayla and I waited for him and Diana when we got to the top.

About a half-hour later, Diana and I took our kids to the admin building, to check them in for a campus tour.  While daughter took the tour, I worked on a training video.  When she’d finished the tour, she had a couple goodies handed out along the way.  Her favorite goody was a rubber ball that lit up when it bounced.  She’d clipped an ID card lanyard to it, and kicked at it as we walked back to my desk.

Around 11, Diana came back to her desk with her son.  He’d grown bored with the tour, so she’d decided she’d take him back to school for the rest of the day.  They’d been planning to go to lunch with us, but daughter and I ended up going by ourselves, and I picked something up for Diana.

After lunch, cookies were served in our break room, so we had some….

At 2pm, Diana and my manager gave a presentation on how we make training videos.  I took daughter and hung around for that.  The kids seemed to have a great time!  And they got candy — chocolate candy.  Which means, I got candy.  Yippee!  Thanks, Diana!

After the presentation, daughter actually ended up spending more time with Diana than with me.  I think she liked having an adult woman other than mom to hang out with for a while.  I’m sure she likes Diana, as do I.

Daughter drew pictures on both of our white boards.

Almost at the end of the day, Diana went to the fitness center for a quick workout, so we said so long, and I took daughter home.  We’d had a fun day.  If I’m in town next year for Take Your Child to Work Day, I’ll officially be on a day off, but I’ll sign daughter up again, for sure.

But this is my space and fuck, I’m just so hot right now.

I’m not rich, I have no sugar daddy, no deceased relative has left me a lump some of money that get’s my by on the day to day; so as you can so rightfully assume, I have to work for a living. I’ve worked since I was 14. I started at a church, working in the after care program helping take care of the children and cleaning up after them. I made 3.something$ an hour and I did that for about two almost three years. I went through a personal family issue and most of my time was spent in a court room and I wasn’t able to work. Once that was all settled my high school graduation has passed, I had moved into a new town and once again I started working. I was a hostess at a restaurant about 30 hours a week on top of going to school 40 hours a week. After 10 months of schooling, I graduated and got my barbering license and went to work full time as an assistant manager of a lingerie store where I worked almost 50 hours while I looked for a job at a salon, where I currently work now. Do I love working? Not always, but I love my job and even when I hate my job I still do it. I put my big girl panties on and do my fucking job.

Like I said, your perception is your reality and it can be hard to focus when bad things are happening, but I fully believe in separating your personal life from your career. Especially when you only work 20 hours a week, there is no need for you to take off three mother fucking weeks off of work to ‘deal with a personal issue’. No, just no.

When I was 14 years old and needed money and had to take two buses to get to a job that paid me almost nothing, I still went to work and did my damn job. When my scalp was bleeding from a chemical burn, I popped some heavy duty pain killed and did my damn job. When I had to put my dog down of 14 years, I still came to work and did my damn job. When my boyfriend of two years, whom I lived with, broke up with me over the phone, guess what? I still came to work and did my damn job. Aside from the year I wasn’t able to work due to being in a court room almost every few days, I’ve gotten my shit together and gone to work regardless.

To me work is an escape. Being that I keep my personal life and career separated  when I am at work I’m safe. Whatever is going on at home I know that in those hours I work, I don’t have to think about it, deal with it or stress over it. Work keeps my mind busy and more importantly it physically takes me away from whatever negative situation is going on at home. Out of sight, out of mind. I like that and I know that not everyone is like me. Not everyone can separate the two and enjoys working when something is bothering them.

I just… eugh. I work with this woman. She’s 24 going on 25 and recently has been calling out of work with very vague reasons as to why she can’t come in. Something with her family, okay, understandable. Well, understandable the first time you do it. Maybe even the second, but for over a month straight? Then, she just is a no call no show for not one but two days in a row. The end of a day three rolls around, still no word and so my manager goes to file a police report on her missing employee and BAM suddenly she’s back with this story about how she’s ‘been going through some stuff and kept it all locked up and had a mental breakdown but she’s fine now’. Fine, but still needs time off of work to get herself together. How much time off work? Three weeks. Three full weeks off of work. Bitch you only work 20hours a week to begin with, why the hell do you need three mother fucking weeks off to ‘gather yourself’ when you’re already fine and telling people you’re okay.

No. No. No. This is not okay. I’m just so fucking irritated that not only does she get off without a write up for being a no call no show two days in a row, but she gets her desired time off and our manager decides to just give everyone else extra hours to cover our upset coworkers much needed mental health month.

I mean, I can’t stress this enough, but I get that whatever she’s going through must be hard for her. My heart and thoughts go out to her and I hope she is okay. I can’t however get passed the fact that she acts this way, gets off scott fucking free, all the while refusing to tell us, her fellow coworkers, whats going on other than ‘it’s personal’ as she goes around telling other people that she’s fine. She’s 24 almost 25. I’m not even 21 yet and I wouldn’t dare pull that kind of shit with anyone ever no matter what was going on. If something is so serious that you need almost a month off of work, you can best be sure I’ll be telling you why my ass needs to stay home and take care of whatever it may be.

From what I hear though, she’s been spotted out shopping having a grand old time with her friends acting as if nothing in the world was wrong. I may have to work for a living, bu I damn sure hope that you have a sugar daddy or dead relative somewhere supporting your needed time off. Because if I remember correctly before you started having all these ‘issues’ you were complaining about not working enough and needing more money to pay all your bills.

Just…

Fuck.

-kristapher

Me: (in reference to bringing another coworker a plant tomorrow) “I’ll remember!”

Him: “You will not. You’re, what, 19? The only thing on your mind is your boyfriend.” (he said this jokingly)

Me: “Ha, no.. I don’t have a boyfriend. I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve never even been asked out.”

Him: “What?! How?! But you’re such a beautiful young lady! And such a lovely smile! And you’re so sweet. You’re lyin’ to me!”

Me: “Haha, thanks, but nope. It’s the truth.”

Him: “Well, the guys you know must be complete idiots. Man… They’re blind. I don’t understand that… I mean, gosh, if I were 40 years younger…”

Me: *laughs* “Well, thanks.”

Him: “Y’know what? I think that very soon, some handsome, muscular guy is gonna come in here and ask you out, and six months later, I better get a wedding invitation. Just sayin’…”

He had to go back to work after that, break was over. But his compliments were so genuinely given that as I sat alone in the break room I had to work hard to keep myself from crying. I really appreciated them.

And that, folks, was the highlight of my day at work!

Well, also there was a really cute puppy at work today. So that too was quite nice. But sweet compliments beat puppy kisses.

~TQG

I met Lili during orientation at my current job. We ended up working in the same department and became friends. We became close so fast that other coworkers assumed we knew each other before we started at the company. It’s been four years since we first became friends and I have to end our friendship. I would call her a back-stabber, but she didn’t get close enough to get her knife in my back. She’s a back slasher. A snake in the grass. A frenemy.

About a year into our friendship I noticed that she would throw shade my way in a playful way. If she complimented me,there would be an insult right after. If I told her about one of our male coworkers gettin’ fresh with me, she’s flirting with him. If Im sharing good news she seems slightly uninterested or she attempts to one-up me, but if Im sharing bad news she wants all the details. I found myself questioning a lot of things she would “playfully” say and do. I always told myself that she didn’t mean any harm; sometimes I can be sensitive and overreact to things, so I took what she did or said as a joke and continued to be her friend. Last week, Lili really took a jab at me. I kinda blame myself for this. All the signs that she was a frenemy were dead in my face, but I ignored them. My boyfriend would tell me that Lili was jealous of me, but I waved him off (why would someone be jealous of me? My life is far from perfect!).

Last week, we were having a conversation through text. We were just being goofy, talking shit, and poking fun at each other. That’s something that we always do.  The next time I saw Lili at work she informed me “I overheard Ms. M [my supervisor] telling Mr. D [our general manager] that she would ask you to do something because she said you were dependable.” She went on to tell me when Ms. M was passing by her, she stopped her and told her that I wasn’t as sweet as I had everyone believing I was. “So I pulled out my phone and showed her some of the texts you sent me last night. You should have seen the look on her face! She said she would have to have a talk with you,” she said while laughing. I stood there and looked at her as she smiled and giggled. I wanted to curse her out. I wanted to slap the bitch. Instead I walked off. I was mad, but I didn’t want her to know she got to me.

This triflin ass hood booger! What did I do to her? Maybe my boyfriend was right about her being jealous of me? This chick wants to see me miserable. She wants my supervisor to see me in a negative light. She has a bad reputation with her supervisors because she’s always late, she calls out a lot, and her work ethic is shitty. So because her reputation is crappy, mine should be too? The more I sat in my office and thought about the situation, the madder I got.  I got the urge to go up to her and curse her out. I stood up and headed towards my office door, but I sat back down at my desk and called my boyfriend. I knew he would either calm me down or tell me I needed to straighten her ass out.

“I told you that she was jealous of you! I never liked her, baby. I told you she was a frenemy,” he told me. “Im about to go downstairs and curse her the fuck out!” I yelled into the phone. He calmed me down and told me that cursing her out was a bad idea. “As soon as you go off on her, she’ll probably play the victim and make you seem like the bad guy. She’s already using those text messages out of context to smear your name. Dont come down to her level, you are waaay to smart for that.” He went on to tell me to just let the situation go and cut ties with her.

He’s right. Way too much drama would unfold if I go off on her. Not to mention that I could possibly lose my job.  I haven’t talked to Lili since that day. I’ve ignored her phone calls and texts. Today will be the first day that I see my supervisor since Lili showed her the text. Im not sure if my supervisor knew the text wasn’t mean to be vicious or not. If she asks me about it I’ll explain it to her, but if she doesn’t mention it I wont bring it up. I dont think the text will change the way my supervisor sees me. It doesn’t change the fact that Im a good employee, so Im not too worried.

Honestly, Im still a little annoyed by the situation. Bitches aint shit.

We all have issues.  We all have our vices.  We all handle these problems in different ways.  

She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. Proverbs 31:26 NASB

I bet the Proverbs 31 woman had plenty of secrets.  I bet she had vices that she kept hidden from others. She may have even spanked her kids, eaten fattening foods, argued with her husband, felt overwhelmed, sad, depressed, and angry.  How did she handle it? Probably not in public!

Life at work has been tense lately.  Several co-workers have been REALLY cranky.  Some handle the stress gracefully; some bite your head off when you say, “Good morning!”  

We all have bad days.  How do we handle them?  

I believe the Proverbs 31 woman probably hid much of her emotion from others.  She may have had a couple close girlfriends that she vented to at the well.  However, in public, her words were always wise and kind.

Yesterday was rough for me.  After work I drove to Starbucks for a cheesecake brownie and an iced coffee.  Of course I did this before my children were in the car.  It remained a secret.  I don’t do it often, but I allowed myself a treat yesterday.  By the time I saw my kids, I was cheerful and kind.  We would go broke if I did this often.  I also would need way more time at the gym!  This is not necessarily a healthy way to deal with emotions, but it is better than going OFF on my family.

Many of us deal with bad tempers. We know we have to control them.  I blame my father for my temper.  Unfortunately, I passed it along to Superhero Son, too.  It always gets worse when I feel stressed out.  It is really easy to explode in the presence of others when we let that temper go unchecked.

Life is too short to go through it being grouchy!  Instead of ranting on Facebook, yelling at strangers, or sharing a grouchy demeanor with your family, find a way to deal with those emotions.  Strive for your words to always be wise and kind.

Blessings!

Sometimes we get so caught up in our work we forget the human aspect of it all. How well do you know your co-workers? Do you know what they do outside of work?

One good practice is to start or end every meeting on a personal level. Starting off with small chat will give you little details into their life and who they are. Next time you see them you can follow up; ask how the trip was, how the party for their mother’s birthday went, if they liked the movie they went to, etc.

Keeping the work atmosphere a personal place makes it a comfortable place. You want the culture around you to be welcoming so people want to come to you for help and feel like they can trust you.