Few vacations offer a greater value than a cruise+ vacation. You don’t have to worry about packing and unpacking, booking a hotel or wandering around an unfamiliar city in search of a restaurant or things to do. Cruises provide it all: meals, accommodations and entertainment. Sail into new ports of call while you sit back, relax and get pampered, all at an affordable price.

Compare the costs and benefits of a Cruise Vacation to those of a typical land vacation package.

Make cruising your next vacation!

This is Billy (identity protected), we got chatting through Grindr and then onto Gaydar where we exchanged some more pics. Billy is a dancer and is Latino. We’re meeting on Thursday night. I’ll keep you posted!

I need a haircut and a body shave, I haven’t had either since before my trip abroad.

Every year, thousands of folks attend corporate events all across the world, whether they are conferences, conventions, or seminars. And every year, they spend a great deal of money on airfare to get to their event. What can these folks do to make the most of their visit to that location?

For example, if you’re flying from Japan into Seattle to attend a conference for 2-3 nights, what other activities could you do to take advantage of your time in this region? You could visit the Space Needle, the Pike Place Market, and do normal touristy activities, but if you really want to experience the beautiful Pacific Northwest, you would go on a cruise to Alaska for 7 nights.

So you might be wondering, what is the real attractiveness of a pre or post cruise and why should one consider it?

When folks come into a city for an event, whether it is Seattle, Los Angeles, Miami, or New York, they are there for more than just one reason, or at least they would like to be. They don’t want to simply come into town, attend the event, and then head back home. Many folks want to experience more of the region they are in. A perfect opportunity to do this is by going on a pre or post cruise. You and your fellow event attendees can take a leisure cruise vacation and not have to worry about coming back again in the future to experience it and spending all that money again on airfare.

A pre or post cruise can last anywhere from 3-7+ nights, all based on your location and desire to cruise. The bottom line? You enhance your overall experience during your visit to the region. You might be thinking, “Going on a pre or post cruise can become really expensive and I don’t want to spend extra money.” Actually, it’s quite the contrary.

Cruising offers you the best value in vacationing out there as everything is included in the price of your cruise, such as meals, accommodations, and entertainment. Compare that to a land resort and you’ll see what I mean. And if you wait to come later, you’re going to have to spend money on that airfare again. So why not take advantage of a cruise while you’re already there?

With that being said, if your event is in Seattle, have an open mind and consider going to Alaska for 7 nights. If you’re in the Southern California area, think about doing a 3-4 day Baja Mexico cruise, or if you’re a true vacationer, a 7-night Mexican Riviera cruise. If you’re in the Florida area, consider a Bahamas or even a Caribbean cruise from anywhere between 3-7+ nights. It’s up to you!

You can even have special events onboard the ship just for you and your colleagues as a continuation of your event. Whether that is a cocktail reception party or an actual portion of the event, the possibilities are endless. You can even take advantage of the meeting facilities onboard as they are absolutely free!

Everyone always talks about money well spent, and to get the most bang for their buck – a pre and post cruise offers you just that, and much more.

Your Friend in Cruising,

John Trivedi, Owner
World Travelers United
(425) 205-9911

john@worldtravelersunited.com
www.worldtravelersunited.com
“We make your Perfect Group Cruise experience a dream come true!”

Well, it is official; at 45 weeks our little love is now mobile.  After months of watching Jack moving in reverse to get from point A to point B, Thursday something clicked and he began to crawl.  All of the books have said that typically a baby will crawl towards a parent or even a toy.  In true Jack fashion, he crawled after a kitty.  So, of course, Jack’s favorite new activity is to crawl all over the house.  If it isn’t blocked off, by golly Jack is going there.  To top it all off, on the same day Jack began cruising!  Mommy and Daddy are both very proud, but the phrase “and so it begins . . .” comes to mind.

In our home there is rarely a quiet moment and that is typically attributed to the vast array of music being played.  Mommy and Daddy both love music and Mommy loves to dance and sing around the house.  Since before Jack was born Mommy and Daddy have been playing music for him.  After he was born few things could make him laugh more than when Mommy was danced around the kitchen singing into a wooden spoon and dancing like a maniac, but as of this week, Jack is starting to really show a preference for music. Currently, his favorite song is “Fireflies” by Owl City.

Each morning while Jack has his bottle and Mommy her morning coffee, we watch VH1 Jump Start and MTV’s AMTV.  Without fail a variety of music and music videos are played.  This is one of the ways Mommy stays in touch with the latest trends in music.  A few weeks ago “Fireflies” began to play.  It’s a song that Mommy likes so I added it to my pink iPod and when Jack and Mommy are in the kitchen it will play from time to time.  Then, one day, Mommy noticed Jack get excited and begin to bounce up and down when the music video came on.  He stared at all of the flashing lights and 1980’s era mechanical toys playing about.  His enthusiasm was palpable.  Now, whenever the song plays, he immediately begins to boogie down and laugh.

Movement isn’t the only new skill Jack is learning to master.  With each day Jack is becoming more and more adept at using his sippy cup and feeding himself.  He even likes to imitate Mommy and Daddy at dinner time.  While we chew, he makes little chewing faces and thrusts his tongue around making a clicking noise.  It is just too cute.  Of course, meal time wouldn’t be meal time if Jack didn’t give the puppies snacks too.  Typically the game goes, one in the mouth and one on the floor.  Mommy and Daddy would mind more if it weren’t for the fact that Jack seems to enjoy sharing.  One of Jack’s favorite games is to give Mommy or Daddy whatever toy he is currently playing with and when we express our gratitude for his kindness, he just beams with happiness.  He is truly a very special and loving child and Mommy and Daddy are both very happy and proud to call him our Jack.

Optimism Abounds as Cruise Industry Adds Two Giant New Ships

 Maybe you caught the hoopla surrounding the arrival of the world’s largest cruise ship, Royal Caribbean’s Oasis of the Seas.  Holding more than 5,000 passengers this 220,000 ton megaship has seven neighborhoods instead of mundane decks.  So far the reviews have been over the top in praise for this innovative new ship.

 Royal’s biggest competitor, Carnival also brought its newest ship, the Dream into operation with a New York arrival.  And, early reports sound very good about what this ship features for cruise vacationers.

 Between them, they represent more than 8,000 passengers a week.  The two biggest cruise companies are confident they can fill their new additions.  That’s good news for consumers because prices should remain at their current value levels for the foreseeable future

Today was without doubt the windiest that we have moved along on the boat, we moved down to the water point at Wheaton Aston and as soon as the boat entered the exposed winding point we were whipped sideways into a convenient mooring point behind a boat getting water. There are a lot of taps here and we really needed to be on the other side of the boat in front of us. Could we get off the side? No way we were pinned to the side and after a couple of half hearted attempts we decided to wait for the boat to move. Unfortunately it turns out he was going to reverse to the winding hole and turn, as we would have a better chance in the conditions going forward we thought it would be best for us to move first. And would you believe it the wind stopped momentarily for us to do this with ease and we filled up with water.

On to Brewood for the all important pump out and there is nothing more comforting than a full tank of water and a freshly pumped out black water tank, who am I kidding, but you know what I mean.

We are now moored up at Brewood and waiting for our cottage pie to cook. We bought the mince at the local butchers, who by the way are in a bad way due to the breach which drastically reduced the throughput of canal traffic and there business relies on canal traffic. It just illustrates the importance of the canal to local businesses.

We have 3G coverage here on both the antenna and the dongle in the window, yesterday it was GRPS on the antenna, I didn’t try the dongle in the window. When we turn back up the Shroppie I will do this comparison at all of the locations we stop at, so far I haven’t really bothered as life is too short.

Today we did 3.23 Miles and 1 Lock

Statistics so far:-

1065.10 Miles, 726 Locks, 74 Swing Bridges, 48 Lift Bridges, 7 Tunnel

Bennett, el conocido fabricante de los ejes Vector y las ruedas alligator, por su 35 Aniversario presenta un patín completo de serie limitada, con un diseño que enamora y con componentes de una gran calidad.

Ejes Vector
Ruedas Alligator de 62mm y 78ª
Tabla de 24 o 39’’

Ah, y un agujero en la parte delantera, con el que puedes colgar el patín en cualquier lugar para que no ocupe espacio.

Toda una maravillosa máquina de diversión que puede hacer las delicias de más de uno al moverse por la ciudad. Ya que hay que desplazarse, hagámoslo con estilo!.

Nothing much more happened at the sauna yesterday. I had a few more fumbles with a couple of guys but nothing much to report.

I left around 4pm with the beginnings of a headache, brought on, I suspect, due to a lack of food. I’d been in there since 9.15am and hadn’t eaten all day.

Next time, I must remember to take a food break!

One of the best parts about being in the group cruise business is that I get to share my passion and knowledge with folks just like you about the world of cruising. Being able to plan and organize group cruising events is what fills my day with joy and happiness, and now, I have the opportunity to take my happiness to another level due to all that I have accomplished.

I’ve been given the wonderful and unique opportunity to participate in Norwegian Cruise Line’s PhD@Sea program which is an industry first. This special program was designed only for cruise professionals who became Freestyle Certified (highest level of certification) at Norwegian Cruise Line’s University (NCL U), and being selected as one of the professionals to go, I have to admit that I am beyond excited and truly honored!

Norwegian Cruise Line will be whisking away 40 cruise professionals including myself aboard the magnificent Norwegian Jewel (pictured below) for a 7-night Western Caribbean Cruise on December 6th. We will be visiting many beautiful ports including Roatan, Honduras; Belize City, Belize; Costa Maya, Mexico; and Great Stirrup Cay in the Bahamas – which is Norwegian’s very own private island (exclusive only to Norwegian passengers).

Norwegian Jewel

So what exactly is a PhD@Sea program and how is it different than any other cruise vacation? Well to start with, this program will give cruise professionals like myself an experience that is rare for anyone going onboard. Here are just some of the exciting activities we’ll be doing onboard in addition to having a week long of cruising fun:

• Welcome cocktail reception and sail-away party
• Behind-the-scene tours
• Panel discussions
• Meeting the shipboard leadership team
• Attending a group dinner
• Receiving a personalized PhD@Sea certificate, a group photo and a farewell gift
• A professional press release announcing my PhD@Sea status to distribute to my local newspaper, radio, and television stations
• Class credit for CLIA (Cruise Lines International Association)
• And much much more!

You can take a breath now. This special group cruise program is going to be jam-packed with so much fun I can’t wait until the day arrives! I’ll be taking my sister on this cruise since she has never experienced one before and has been extremely eager to finally have the opportunity. And let me tell you, she is getting one special first-time cruise experience!

I’ll be blogging about my day-to-day experiences on the special PhD@Sea program and will be posting these entries upon my return.

All the professionals and I have already established a relationship in the NCL U forum and we’ve also created a special name for our group, and that is the “Family Jewels” – very fitting! I’ve always been excited about going on a cruise, but with this program, I can already tell it’s going to be something extra special.

Until next time…

Your Friend in Cruising,

John Trivedi, Owner
World Travelers United
(425) 205-9911

john@worldtravelersunited.com
www.worldtravelersunited.com
“We make your Perfect Group Cruise experience a dream come true!”

According to ABC News, tapping your foot while on a public toilet is a signal for “gay cruising”. I, a gay male, have never heard of this term. But apparently, gay cruising refers to signaling in a public restroom to another male that you are “down for sex”.

What I do not understand is why gay cruising is attributed to the general gay population. I know this is done within male restrooms, between males. But, this is not the majority of the gay population. Such exploitation makes me upset, because I do not want this image to be associated with my own culture and values.

Anyway, the article on ABC talks about what gay cruising is, and an instance Idaho Senator Larry Craigs getting arrested for engaging in cruising in Minneapolis. It is an interesting concept, beyond the stereotypes that follow.

Los tienen fichados. Por la cara que ponen, por las miradas que intercambian o por el tiempo que pasan ‘encerrados’ en el cuarto de baño. Los fieles del ‘cruising’ lo van a tener un poco más complicado ‘montárselo’ en los baños públicos de estaciones de autobuses, intercambiadores o trenes. Cualquier sitio ha valido hasta ahora para mantener sexo con desconocidos. Hasta ahora. En Madrid, los equipos de seguridad se han multiplicado con un único objetivo: evitar que los servicios públicos se colapsen sin haber ninguna necesidad. Los ciudadanos de a pie, los que sí dan un uso correcto a estos baños, son los que se han quejado. Y no les falta razón.

Los fieles de esta práctica son hombres desconocidos que intercambian sexo en algún sitio público. Si bien es cierto que no es algo nuevo, con los tiempos de crisis que corren han aparecido nuevos puntos de encuentro en Madrid. Los ‘prostíbulos de alquiler de sexo callejeros’ se quedan pequeños para una demanda que no para de multiplicarse.

Mantener sexo con desconocidos en lugares públicos está más de moda de lo que se piensa. A los aparcamientos y a los baños de centros comerciales, estaciones de trenes y autobuses, y aeropuertos, se unieron hace no mucho los vagones de metro, y la moda se ha extendido hasta lugares tan emblemáticos como el Templo de Debod, en Madrid.

La dimensión del sexo depende de cada persona y de cada pareja. Hasta el momento, practicar el ‘cruising’ ha sido tan sencillo como conectarse en uno de los cientos de miles de foros que existen por Internet y quedar en el sitio público más cercano. Al llegar, se reconoce a la pareja por gestos o guiños.

Con preservativo siempre

Ya no hace falta acudir a la prostitución o intentar que una noche de copas acabe con final feliz, aunque el ‘cruising’, de momento, sigue siendo una práctica más ofertada y demandada por la comunidad gay. Cuando el acto se consuma entre hombre y mujer, se denomina ‘dogging’ y, dada la inexistencia de baños públicos mixtos, tiene como principal escenario los parques y aparcamientos.

No todo el mundo es precavido, así que los peligros son demasiado claros. Infecciones y todas las enfermedades de transmisión sexual, desde un simple herpes hasta el propio sida. Dejar la cartera en casa, pero que nadie se olvide del preservativo. Al ser un encuentro esporádico, no se conocen las enfermedades de la otra persona. Internet es peligroso, se miente y en realidad nunca conoces a la persona de la cita. Sexo por sexo. Pero seguro. El ‘cruising’ es demasiado breve, pero siempre intenso.

Rebeca Royo Ortiz en El Confidencial

When we came back to the boat yesterday the inevitable happened, the pump out light came on so as we know we only have a day or so of grace we are heading post haste (for us) to Brewood which is the nearest non BW pumpout station. We have been trying to get hold of BW cards but they are only available at Napton Narrow Boats at Autherley Junction and at the BW Office at Northwich, we may go down to Autherley and buy some for our stay on the Shroppie.

We waited for the terrible storm to pass over head before making the decision to move on, when it dropped down to light rain after lunch we decided that the worst was over and so set off.

Just before we were going through Bridge 28 the sky cleared and the landscape was lit up with the most glorious of light, as we had just had heavy rain I had the camera stowed safely away out of the wet. By the time I got it out I was under the bridge and on our way, I know that I was controlling the boat and could have stopped or even reversed but you always think that there will be another chance.

We are now moored up in Wheaton Aston.

Under the Arch

Bridge 28

Today we did 5.31 Miles

Statistics so far:-

1061.87 Miles, 725 Locks, 74 Swing Bridges, 48 Lift Bridges, 7 Tunnel

by Marcia R. Levin

O…M…G…

Words almost fail. I’ve been covering the cruise industry for many years, but I can tell you right now that experiencing the beauty, sophisticated design, and of course sheer size of Royal Caribbean international’s newest, largest and definitely most impressive cruise ship will forever be one of my bigger “wow” travel moments.

Yesterday I got off a two-day introductory cruise, blown away not just by bells and whistles not long ago undreamed of, but also impressed by the ease with which passengers maneuver around this mega-to-the-max vessel. And yet, I have to agree with Royal’s CEO Richard Fain, who told us, “Bigger does not mean less personalized.”

Fain added that Oasis is “one-third familiar, one-third evolutionary and one-third revolutionary,” and the numbers on this game-changer tell a good part of the story: 16 passenger decks and capacity for 5,400 guests in 2,700 double-occupancy staterooms that start at 170 square feet; 2,191 crew members; four pools and 17 whirlpools; 25 dining spots (nine of which are specialty restaurants involving an extra fee and one, the Solarium Bistro, with menu items with calorie counts of 500 or less); 37 bars and lounges. Other superlatives include an expansive, two-level spa/fitness center; a kids’  facility that’s the largest in Royal’s fleet; a family-friendly open-air promenade with a full-size merry-go-round; and another open-air promenade that’s elaborately landscaped, parklike, and lined with restaurants and bars.

Décor is low key meshed with cutting edge, and signage is among the best at sea today. It includes interactive maps and charts for restaurant reservations, as well as well lighted corridors and elevators (with button pads to the left and the right of the doors). Entertainment choices are varied; choose from a casino with smoking and non-smoking sections, jazz and comedy clubs, a huge indoor theater, and an outdoor aqua theater for water shows. For more active pursuits, you’ve got a zip line, a pair of FlowRider surfing simulators, two huge rock climbing walls, an ice-skating rink, and a sprawling sports deck with copious space for mini golf, basketball, and volleyball.

And despite the scale, and the hugeness of certain spaces such as the promenades, I found in roaming the ship that much of it somehow manages to feel unexpectedly cozy. I had no trouble finding my cabin, the media room, a cocktail party venue, the dining room, and casino (yes, my evening’s entertainment), all without so much as a wrong turn, thanks in part to well designed signage and no you-can’t-get-there-from-here elevators or stairwells.  I found the design superb and while I don’t know I’ll ever get used to a balcony overlooking the vast interior spaces like the Boardwalk (in my case) and Central Park instead of open ocean, I do appreciate the open feel it imparts. Besides, unlike with the Voyager-class ships where this concept debuted, there is blue sky above (and, if you crane your neck, blue sea at the end).

So, yes, Oasis definitely raises the bar significantly on cruise ship design and amenities, with the sheer multiplicity of dining and entertainment choices, plus innovations such as duplex suites; dedicated comedy and jazz clubs; the zip line; elaborate kids’ areas on different decks depending on age, even the first seagoing cupcake shop. And thanks to the current economic contraction, it could well turn out to represent the industry’s high-water-mark for quite some time.

Oasis will start Caribbean itineraries in early December, with seven-night fares starting at $1,199; it will be joined in late 2010 by a similar sister vessel, Allure of the Seas.

After getting an hour or so of sleep, I went up on deck to take in the surroundings.  I wasn’t able to sleep long due to the excitement of being in a new place.  I grabbed a bowl of cereal and sat out on the deck.  While taking in the view,  I noticed Fort Jefferson was a handsome place.  It was large, and intimidating to look at.  The feeling of history filled the air. I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of severe weather this place had experienced over the last hundred or so years.  Fort Jefferson sits on an 16 acre island with a partial mote surrounding the exterior of the Fort. Construction began in 1845 but apparently it was never completed.  The United States took the Fort over in order to control navigation in the Gulf of Mexico, and to protect Atlantic bound Mississippi River trade, by building up the Tortugas.   I couldn’t wait to  dingy over to the island and walk around in the Fort.

While standing on the swim platform, I leaned over into the water to rinse my bowl and spoon.  The spoon slipped thru my fingers and plunged into the water and down to the bottom.  I could see it clearly.  I would have let it go, but it wasn’t my spoon, it was Michael’s flatware.  He had mentioned before how much he liked it.  It looked like an antique.  The handles were white, bone in texture with crazing along the surface. The sun bounced off of the curvature of the spoon while it sat on the bottom. I grabbed the net with the long handle and attempted to scoop it out, but the handle of the net wasn’t long enough.  After Doug showing me the depth of the water the previous night,  I wasn’t real eager to dive in and attempt to retrieve the spoon.   Out of nowhere a large  red  raft with twin outboards, pulled up behind the  boat and cut it’s motor.  At the wheel was a young Coast Guard Captain in uniform.  I remember taking in a breath and thinking “Whew!”     He said ” I wouldn’t be swimming around these waters here, if I were you.  It isn’t safe. There are barracudas in these waters. They take off after anything that sparkles.”  I mentioned that I had dropped a spoon and he insisted I “let it go”.  Since he put it to me that way, …I let it go.

The chatter outside of the boat woke the rest of the crew. After breakfast, we took the dingy over to the island.  The sand was so white, it hurt my eyes. The Fort was much more intimidating up close.

The brick construction seemed to go on and on.  One could easily get lost. The first level had long dark hallways with large arched openings on the sides. It was spooky in some places.  The next level was more appealing due to the large views, 360 degrees.  In one direction you could see the anchorage, with the commercial fishing boats, pleasure boats and seaplanes.  In the other direction you could see all the various islands with stunning white sand and clear blue/green water.

While looking over the side of the walls of the fort, you could see the partial mote that was open to the sea. If you looked close enough you could see fish swimming around.  

 We spent the day touring the Fort, by late afternoon everyone was ready for a nap.  The next morning was Christmas. As we all sat on the deck with our morning brew, we watched a fellow sailor, dressed as Santa Clause,  get off of his boat with a large sack over his shoulder, throw it in his little boat, and row over to the Fort.  He was delivering some Christmas Cheer to the Park Rangers.  It was well known that they were very appreciative of people bringing books,  and movies.  Their assignments were for six weeks at a time and there wasn’t very much  to do out there.  

 Later in the day, Michael and Doug grabbed the cheap beer, threw it in a large sea bag and told us they would return. Only when they did return they asked for the Captain Morgans and asked us to come with them.  They had gone over to one of the commercial fishing boats.   Some of the transoms on the boats read Cuba, Key West, South America and  Louisiana.  We had been invited to come aboard one of these boats and share our Captain Morgans Rum,  which was a crucial ingredient for making hot buttered rum drinks.  The lady on board passed around  mugs of hot buttered rum while we toasted each other a Merry Christmas.  Then the fisherman on deck  filled our sea bags with ice, lobsters and shrimp.  As I looked over in the corner next to me, I saw a large red laundry basket with a large octopus in it.  I must have jumped, because my drink spilled over the mug and down my arm.  Luckily, the octopus didn’t move. … Our visit was short, and so was the life of that bottle of Captain Morgan’s Rum.

Now it all made since to me as to why we brought so much cheap beer.  It was to be used as leverage for trade.  Not only did the Park Rangers experience the seclusion of the Dry Tortugas, but so did the Fisherman.  I had come to appreciate the fishing boats early on because they always had ice.  In the Dry Tortugas, they had seafood.  As for the bread and butter we brought along, Michael had a plan  for Lobster Sandwiches.  We  cooked lobster and shrimp every way imaginable.  We steamed it, marinaded in Italian Dressing, applied butter and garlic, cooked it on the grill, and broiled it. No matter how it was cooked, it was fresh and delicious.  I have never had more than I could eat in the way of lobster before.  It was a treat and not a bad way to spend Christmas.

–– Week 17 ––

“Get back here and sing for your supper!” – Anonymous

It’s not possible for me to afford seeing the working girls each week, with that in mind i walked the main strip Friday and Saturday night. These two nights have helped me meet some of the  regular guys i always see sitting and observing people from the bus benches on the side of the road. First I met ‘Wombat’ from Cooma, New South Wales “That’s my nickname” he mumbles through his thick aged silver beard. Unfortunately i had to do a lot of naive nodding and i found myself laughing as soon as he did even though i had no idea what the poor man was saying as it was very hard to hear Wombat.

I also met ‘Ramon’ who is from Queensland. “What’s your name mate?” “Ian” I replied. Ramon continued ”My best mates name is Ian… a very reliable name”… I naturally agreed. Ramon is a very gentle benign man with a warm smile. His voice brings comfort to the surroundings. I kneeled beside him taking photos as he talked away freely digging deep into his empirical observations. Both ‘Wombat’ and Ramon loved to talk and i had to politely excuse myself to take more photos but they where more than happy to see me again.

I really enjoyed Saturday night, i went out at 11.30pm and finished at 4am. The crowd was slowly but surely fading away just like the night and staying till the sun came up was going to be a big ask when the streets where becoming empty. The street buskers are great magnets for capturing a photo and most people didn’t mind their photo being taken. In front of me i saw a young man passed out in the gutter with his two mates by his side. One of them was holding his head up while the other rolled him onto his side. It was was great to see so many people come up and offer help but the other people who had plenty to drink would laugh and and raise their hands in celebration of the young mans accomplishment of being passed out. There are countless sightings of heavy intoxicated people but i’ve never been tempted to take a photo as it’s too easy to capture the vulnerable. Friday night introduced me to a group of young men from Venezuela who were on the sreet preaching the message of God. I was approached when taking photos of them at work and asked if i believed in God, to which i replied “No”. “What will happen to you when you die?” the young man asked. I told him i wasn’t interested in what he was selling and i insisted he stop as it’s a waste of time. He left me by saying “When you die, just imagine there is a Hell… God Bless” I thought… That’s it?! That holds no water. Oh, and also, how very Christian of him to resort to fear. If i can imagine there is a Hell, then i can imagine when i die i’ll live on the bottom of the ocean with the great Sea God ‘Whalsurus’. Dribble.

So, as there were mostly incoherent and religious jibberish conversations this week, i’ll let the photos do all the talking.

If you haven’t noticed, the past week or so has been filled with… well, nothing. Not surprised? Technically, due to our crazy activeness in writing posts, you might have seen this coming. So. I have a more valid excuse this week, at least it’s a little less vague as “I was busy.” And way better than a disappointingly honest “I was just too lazy to give a cat’s whisker.” Although the last two are usually true, this week Jehovah has decided to at least give me an alibi for all of this blog’s millions of viewers.

My terribly horrible (no, I mean it was truly terribly horrible) reason is this: the internet. Or rather, airport. Or that little black box with the blinking green lights that’s plugged into the computer. I don’t really know the difference, and one day I’m going to ask Steve Jobs exactly why those little white boxes are called airports. It doesn’t really make much sense to me. All I know is that all of those things have decided to quit, or go on strike. Either that or they’re going through puberty as moody adolescents who throw fits and have mood-swings. If you didn’t understand my analogy, I mean that my internet sucks. When it works it works for an hour or less and only connects to one computer. In fact, it’s a miracle that I’m able to even publish this, since this is really an old post that I’ll be saving (and then publishing) when my internet connects for more than five minutes.

Have you ever gone camping? And not your lame excuse kind of camping where you pitch a tent in your backyard (or neighbor’s yard, if you want an adventure), but I mean in the (sort of) untouched wilderness of Utah, or Montana, or um… the park down the street. But anyway, the point is that things, things that normally don’t matter begin to become a hassle. Like washing your hands for example, brushing your teeth, avoiding bear wastes, or producing wastes. All of these things are hard to do whilst in the wilderness (might or might not apply to neighbor’s backyard). When you finally decide to take the long trek to the outhouse at night, everyone jumps up to go with you, you all need to take care of unfinished business. Right?

Well, the same goes for bad internet. When you haven’t used it in weeks and your email is piling up, or you haven’t harvested your crops on FarmVille and they’re all wilted, every chance you get to go do those things–you’ll take it. Which pretty much explains why my family takes a laptop with us wherever we go. If we’re at a coffee shop with free wi-fi: Get out the laptop! Cruising through residential areas: Get out the laptop! We’ve become first-class internet pirates. Although we don’t wear pirate hats or have parrots/monkeys on our shoulders, we are real deal. Taking over (not really) your internet for as long as we can. So beware, until I get my internet fixed, I might be parked outside your home, using your internet that you paid for with your own money (if you don’t have a password, that is) or rolling down your street at five miles per hour, looking for more internets to plunder. As a consolation, you should be honored.

Just thought I’d post a quick update on the date I’d made for today. I’ve just got back and it couldn’t have gone better. I arrived a little early to be warmly greeted. He was only wearing a pair of blue track bottoms, which were slung quite low. His body certainly matched up to his photos.

After a little small talk, we started kissing and undressing and made our way into his bedroom, where the rest of the clothes were thrown onto the floor. He really enjoyed kissing, which is a huge turn on for me, so I quickly went hard and any nerves I had about not performing were soon forgotten.

We explored each other for a while and I really enjoyed the freedom of touch that total nakedness allows. Soon the kissing became more urgent and we began to move together pressing our bodies and mouths harder.

My hands held onto his buttock as he climbed on top of me and ground his pelvis into mine. I could feel his hardness pressing into me, so I flipped him over and took him fully into my mouth deep throating him until I heard him gasp and moan. He then reached down and pulled me up to face him, kissed me, then turned me onto my back and mirrored what I had done to him. I reached out and found his hard dick which I worked while his mouth worked miracles on me.

After a while I pulled him back up and kissed his lips and neck, then turned him over onto his stomach. My lips played over his shoulders, spine and I worked my way down to his buttocks where my tongue went to work.

For the next hour we gently worked each others bodies until we were hot and sweaty and ready to come. He sat on my abdomen and allowed himself to explode over my chest and stomach, he reached down to me and worked my dick until my hot fluid mingled with his own on my chest.

We lay naked together catching our breath for a while, then cleaned up. I dressed and left, we both gave the promise that we’d meet again, but I realise that these are often empty words. I liked him and would definitely revisit.

That’s how we roll…

via lucas

This week on An Alan Smithee Podcast, we apparently continue our Queer Film Studies program with the most notorious and most quickly forgotten Hollywood movie ever made about gay men, and a not-very-gay movie which nonetheless contains jokes about homophobia and lesbians decades before it was fashionable.

The cult classic Slap Shot has essentially endured solely by word of mouth amongst Hockey fans since 1977. We’re now at the point where most people have at least heard of it, as evidenced by the recent straight-to-bargain-dvd-bin releases of Slap Shot 2: Breaking The Ice starring Stephen Baldwin, and Slap Shot 3: The Junior League starring a bunch of adorable urchins and Leslie Nielsen, getting in some last minute slumming before death. Both these follow ups feature the original film’s most indelibly iconic characters, the lovably dumb and merciless Hanson brothers, still doing their quasi-retarded shtick well into their 40s.

All comedy fans owe it to themselves to check this one out, besides the Hansons there’s the brilliant script (written by a chick, no less), the genial Paul Newman under direction from George Roy Hill of previous work like Butch Cassidy, the prerequisite various goony team members, and for Twin Peaks fans a stirring performance by young Sheriff Truman himself, Michael Ontkean. Oh, and the lesbianism.

Then, we delve into the seedy underbelly of New York gay bars circa 1979 for a serial killer thriller that no one asked for, no one watched, and few will ever defend. William Friedkin must have considered himself quite the progressive for setting what would otherwise be a competently directed potboiler in a subculture whose mainstream counterparts in male homosexual America were barely gaining acceptance on The Match Game and Hollywood Squares. There’s also a really cheap and stupid ending which completely contradicts the film’s mealy opening disclaimer:

This film is not intended as an indictment of the homosexual world. It is set in one small segment of that world, which is not meant to be representative of the whole.

Besides protesting too much-eth, this warning actually tricks one into thinking William Friedkin had something to say about what the newly legal, pre-AIDS gay bar scene meant about the condition of homosexuality in our society. No, he seems to have simply thought gay bars to be the perfect setting for an undercover police thriller. This exploitative approach might have been forgivable had Friedkin embraced it, but the feigned compassion and stupid twist ending make Cruising probably the most off-handedly homophobic movie ever. Pacino has never looked more like Eric Bogosian.

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NEXT WEEK: BARTON FINK (1991, JOEL & ETHAN COEN) & COPS & ROBBERSONS (1994, MICHAEL RITCHIE)