Du Hip-Hop bien crunk, bien rock, bien électro, hyper festif et coloré… La tournée Crazy sounds with the Aliens est déjà un carton dans les clubs. Sold out au Ninkasi de Lyon (700 places) quelques jours avant de venir à Montpellier. Sauf qu’à la Secret Place c’est les machines qui ont lâché en premier, pas le public. Mélange d’influences rock, de culture jeu vidéo, et de délires adulescents, le son Maniacx n’a pas fini de faire des émules en France. Il n’y a qu’à voir le succès des Puppetmastaz – leurs cousins allemands – invités de tous les festivals cet été ! La filiation entre les deux groupes est tellement évidente, qu’ils ont réalisé une comédie musicale ensemble en 2007 : Center of the Earth. Le Sakifo festival de l’île de la Réunion s’en souvient encore…

www.myspace.com/maniacx

reportage : François, Gwen, Maël

I’m sure there are cooler places than a book store for a 25-year-old to be on a Friday night, but I’ve given up on being cool. Why bother? If you aren’t on the party list by now, just accept the fact that you won’t be on the list and go on with your life.

Speaking of cool people, I had the privilege of observing a few high school kids in the cafe, and cool they were not. There were three girls and a guy. Two of the girls took turns being the alpha male of the group, dominating the conversation with their severe assertions about pop culture. The other girl was timid and looked too attractive to truly be a part of this group. I’m not sure if it was the thick, black rimmed glasses, but she actually seemed like she was going undercover as “uncool” to get some sort of story for her other attractive friends. Maybe she and her more attractive friends were sitting around doing whatever it is attractive people do when they aren’t busy laying other attractive people or moving up the corporate ladder, when one of them attractively wondered what unattractive people do with their time. Since this girl was the least attractive of the attractive bunch, they sent her out for some undercover research. While my predictions place the other two unattractive girls as male-repelling, damp smelling, used book store habitting loud mouths, I see the attractive girl as a future housewife with perfect children, a compulsive disorder in search of a more perfect existence, and a cheating husband (welcome to my imagination). I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the lone guy in the group, a fixture in any group of socially awkward adolescents. He seemed to be sending signals for passerbys to save him from his hopelessly lame group of default friends. He didn’t say a word the entire time I eavesdropped, excuse me, observed.

No celebrities were safe from this vicious pop culture bash fest. In the 10 minutes it took me to get my tea and invade the personal space of an unsuspecting girl by brushing against her skinny jeans to plug in my lap top adapter, the Dallas Divas hit music, movies, and everything in between. Of Willem Dafoe from the new flick, “The Anti-Christ”, they snorted, “He’s not going to be winning any Oscars, but good try!”  They had the nerve to bash Lady Gaga, saying, “Anyone who is a fan of hers is just a closet skank.” I was about to take off my earrings and get Gessner Neighborhood Wal-Mart by this time. No one bashes Lady Gaga in my presence! Afraid of the inevitable wiffs of wet dog I would have to endure to let them know what’s up, I put my crunkness back in my crunk case and kept my mouth shut.

There is no moral or golden rule nugget attached with this random post. I’m just curious as to why neither of the alpha males seemed to notice the looks and stares from the rest of the people in the cafe. The guy was clearly miserable and dying to be set free. The attractive detective was dutifully accepting the embarassment as part of her job. None of the other patrons came to the book store to hear their mock- Culture Gabfest (a popular segment on slate.com) with their opinions about the directing of Twilight Moon, or whatever the latest installment is called from that Vampire series. I came here to think and to figure out how I could read this month’s Rolling Stone that has a cover of that funny looking vampire boy without being mistaken for a real Twilight fan. They made my arduous task that much more difficult.

“Machuka” – Lil Jon

On behalf of Anastassia Paloni: this here bootypopper from Lil Jon’s CRUNK ROCK is supposed to drop February 2010. Big props to Kassiano for producing the track. Video slightly NSFW, depending where you work.

“Possibly the worst genre of music ever created.” – Kerrang
“Sounds like a Chamillionaire track performed by a teenage Slipknot tribute band.”- The Guardian

The title pretty much says it doesn’t it?!?!

Well, yeah, this whole thing came to my attention when I heard of this band called Brokencyde (i refuse to use the caplock in the name because the names retarded anyway, and putting that in doesn’t make it any better). These guys are supposedly considered to be Crunkcore. LOL. Who thinks of these things?? It’s just plain stupid.
I have listened to them, and if I had to come up with an opinion, i’d say they were Rap, techno, metal, rock, pop, scene *insert other genres* because there is no sigle group you can put them in. So obviously the easiest thing to do would be to create a new genre that stems off from maybe ten different genres, and give it a name that is completely unconnected to any of them.

CRUNKCORE!! Yep, you read that right, Crunkcore. Sure, it sounds good, but thats about the only thing that gives it any merits.What does it even mean?? Does anyone know?? People will say ‘listen to a band which play this music and then you know’ but as i said before, it sounds like loads of different genres mixed together, and it doesn’t even sound good.

The bands who are Crunkcore include:
>Brokencyde
>Family Force 5
>3OH!3 (pro-nounced 3 oh 3)
>Millionaires

If you haven’t heard of any of these i wouldn’t really be surprised. I heard a lot of people recently mention the 3rd band 3OH!3. I listened, i pretty much despised, i ignored. How can they get away with making stuff like this. Even Kerrang has paned this stuff. One song I heard by the group Millionaires called Alcohol is just an absolute insult in more ways than one, the chorus basically been this:

‘Come and get fucked up, me and my alcohol. Lets get fucked up’

WOW, about 75% of the song is made up this LOL how shit.

If this is what this music genre is made of you can pretty much stick it where no man would dare venture, seriously. This stuff makes Hollywood Undead acceptable in more ways than one.

THIS GETS THE TED STAMP OF UTTER DISAPPROVAL!!

P.S. i’m not insulting those that listen to it, just the genre (why would you want to anyway)

Na már megint nem írtam egy ideje =(

Viszont megint zenét fogok ajánlani.

A Brokencyde az Egyesült államokban,Albaquerke-ben [Albakörki] lett alapítva.

A The Artery Foundation nevű cég figyelt fel rájuk,akik már több eggyüttest is segítettek az áttörésben.Például az Alesana,The Devil Wears Prada vagy a Carnifex.

A banda négy tagból áll:

Se7en : Dalszövegek
Mikl : Hype,Vokál
Phat J : Szintetizátor,Backup Vokál
Antz : Hype

Zeneileg a Screamo, Crunkcore,Electronic illetve HipHop stílusokba sorolják.

A legelső albumjuk,a 2006-os Blue Steel nagy sikert aratott Amerikában, amit két számuk,a Freaxxx és a Bree Bree követett.

Elérhetőségeik:
YouTubeMySpace

És most itt a legfrissebb számuk, a Booty Call!

Források:

LastFM.com
YouTube

Fordítás by Adam Toxic

Damn he’s on fire … Whatever he touches transforms into gold !

Mr. Jonathan Smith’s newest invention is called My Chuka and kicks a## . I’ll later on post a better version – we’ll get along with this one so far !

First check this:

Lil Jon – My Chuka

Rally days are always fun but the days leading up to them are so stressful.  I was stressed out for the last week because I felt that I was never completely ready for my set.  The fact that it was a solo in the theater meant that everyone in the theater was literally watching me at one time.  The night before the rally, I think I stayed up until like one or two AM cause of homework, talking,  and practicing my set.  My shoulders and legs were sore too and I had no idea why :/

I didn’t go to first period cause I went straight to the theater for the rally.  It felt kind of weird that this was the first time I was in the renaissance rally not for my grades.  I remember watching from the theater seats when I was top ten during my freshmen and sophomore years crunk and all the other performance groups perform on stage, and now I was the one performing up on stage and not in the theater seats.  Now that I think of it, it’s like a reminder of how much I’ve changed/learned and how fast high school’s gone by.

We did about two run-throughs of the rally before people started coming.  I was nervous and stressed before the first rally but as the rallies went on, it got a lot easier to perform.  I did ok in the in the first rally, messed up a little in the second rally, and the third rally was probably my best one.  In between rallies, my friends and I hung out in the women’s dressing room haha.  Throughout the whole day, I kept thinking it was Friday cause rallies are usually on Fridays.

As soon as the rally was over, it was first lunch but since I worked at the blood drive yesterday, I had to make up an apush test It sucks having to take a test right after spending the whole morning out of classes for a rally.  I think I did pretty bad on my test even though I had extra credit.  The last three periods of the day were like any other day except for the occasional compliments and “i saw you at the rally” or whatever.  After school was nice My siblings, friends, and I ended up staying after school until past 5 waiting for rides and it was so dark because the sun had already set.  Everyone else left and around 5:20/5:30ish we walked down to taco bell, got some food, and got picked up there.  I was so tired when I got home and super sore, but the day was fun.

I’m excited for saturday and thanksgiving break.

Party8, originally uploaded by sizzled.

but i guess lydia probably knew that when she poured wine down andrew’s shirt. this was part of an impromptu photoshoot at one of the infamous casa de crunk house parties. wow.

RacialTension, originally uploaded by sizzled.

i’m not sure that there was ever a better custom trucker hat made in the whole universe.

hello youtubespacebookmyfacewordpresstwitter. i filled my belly up with chicken. now i am emptying my belly in the form of popular song. a friend of mine says that i should talk more about more about popular topics on my blog so, adhering to that, i wrote a story:-

balloon boy and sarah palin went for a walk together one lovely, sunny afternoon in washington d.c. ms palin, ever the philanthrope, had adopted young falcon after his mummy and daddy were banged up in incarceration with conrad black, bernie madoff and friends, and young trig needed a playmate after the great majority of sarah’s other kids had gone off and had babies of their own.

on their rounds around the park, they met britney spears shaving her head, lou dobbs protesting immigration, and pete doherty skagging up for a hit of smack.

falcon said:

“ms palin, why’re you pretending to be my mommy? i want my real mommy!”

sarah palin replied:

“falcon, later when we get home you can look across the ocean and see russia from our house.”

“but ms palin all the kids at school are saying you only adopted me because you want a publicity hit?”

“now come on falcon…”

“but ms palin…”

“from now on you call me mommy!”

“the kids at school are saying you wanna become president in 2012 and are using me for publicity…..”

there was an uncomfortable silence.

the end.

is that enough key words for you?
is it?
hmmm, probably not. here’s to another day of 0 hits.

love,

john

Dark Ages ringleader Gimpmode has sorted out a killer night this coming Saturday with his return to MJQ.  With a massive lineup featuring Gimpmode, Megan Foxxx, Prince Presto, Mayhem, Trench, and Ricky Raw, this event is sure to be the ghetto dope fix we’ve all been itching for!  To whet our appetites until then, Gimpy and co. have put together a monsterous promo, Dark Ages Mixtape Vol 1. Grab it now!!

DARK AGES MIXTAPE VOL 1//MIXED BY GIMPMODE, MEGAN FOXXX, MAYHEM, & TRENCH

*** TRACK LISTING ****
1. Jack beats – get down vip
2. Diplo – hey! (Foamo rmx)
3. Count + sinden – mega
4. Dub pistols – I’m in love (foamo)
5. Diplo – get down
6. Elle goulding – starryeyes (jakwob rmx)
7. 16bit VS Yung LA & Lil Boosie – Fuck O’s (MEGANFOXXX+TRENCH DARK AGES EDIT)
8.MSTRKRFT – all i do is party (DOORLY REMIX)
9.Mayhem – Damn!
10.AC slater – Calm Down
11.Mayhem & Whisperlink – untitled
12.Mayhem & – Trench – Hustlin
13.Mayhem – 4th of July Jam
14.Do or Die – Po Pimp (Trillbass & Symbl Remix)15.Trillbass – Weezy
16.Emalkay – When I Look At You
17.Tim Piper & Nic Corelli – Indisco (Bar9 Remix)
18.Plies VS Reso – I Got Plenty Mashups (Trench edit)
19.Trench – Raw Dope
20.Rich Kids & Ludacris VS Datsik – Calypso N Dem (Trench edit)
21. Rusko – take me to the hospital rmx
22. High rankin – don’t stop remix
23. Chase +Status – Saxon
24. Chase+Status – heartbeats remix

]]> http://sickmuze.wordpress.com/2009/11/09/tnep-is-in-fact-alive-and-eprom-is-hella-talented-in-case-you-missed-the-memo/ Mon, 09 Nov 2009 19:39:13 +0000 liz http://sickmuze.wordpress.com/2009/11/09/tnep-is-in-fact-alive-and-eprom-is-hella-talented-in-case-you-missed-the-memo/

even after missing a flight, dealing with two more (actually unexpectedly pleasant) flights and so much potential for delay and missing the last bart into the city etc… there i was. oh, california. three hours behind and  i was already feeling better. but maybe that was because i knew what was in my future: LAZERZZZZZ.

photo: gray powell

LOTZ N LOTZ OF LAZERZZZZ, thanks to ms. ultraviolet! the holiday weekend brought only one event – and only one was needed – to my bassface: redline’s bordello takeover aka reach for the lazers. it absolutely went off in every positive way possible. everywhere you looked – there were people. every little creepy nook and cranny of that creepy house that somehow works as the best venue everrrr – was full of people.

photo: gray powell

smiling people. happy people. bassbin rubbin, speaker molestin, dancing, bouncing people.

(p.s. next up at the bordello: subwize teams up with mallabel for 2009’s version of nightmare before christmas… guaranteed sickness with stagga and the widdler in town.)

but damn. halloween eve wiped me out. and my fellow party-goers. what do you expect when you put eprom and eskmo together… basically. yes. (and babylon system and blackheart… and antiserum and ana sia… ok i’m stopping there. really lovely bay-based lineup!)

photo: gray powell

and well, eprom. holy shit. go see him live now.

get the eprom mixtape right here right now. it showcases some of his best work to date, although it doesn’t include my personal favorite eprom track: ribcracker (listen to it on his myspace).

sometimes i forget that this blog is strictly about the music, not the event… but eprom’s live set is an event you do not want to miss if you’re a fan of good music. just in case you didn’t know… and if you already did? big up.

www.endhivaids.com

In the event Joe Stern-McGovern, President of Universal Artists, International, hasn’t made this point clear, in the name of the betterment of mankind, it is his intention to guide UAI into even further ventures of charity through the medium of the arts.

Coming early in 2010, please look for the World Mixtape, brainchild of Joe Stern-McGovern of UAI and Pure-Records of Tokyo fame, as well as various contacts throughout Western Europe. The agency’s coalition of sorts intends to release the mixtape, an American phenomenon which creates not only entertainment for the common man of the streets, but a vehicle for the next generation of hip hop artists to display their wares at an affordable price in the name of world health and the relief of the human condition.

www.myspace.com/blackflockgang

For further clarification of the definition of a mix tape, such as those which helped launch the careers of heavyweights such as Nelly and Ludacris, look for postings which clarify the concept from several of Universal Artists, International’s own top acts such as Mouf Piece of da City, one half of Dem Hardheadz, blood brothers, and the notorious lyricist and frontman, Mr. Hood Shuttlesworth of the FAM Boy$ out of Birmingham, Alabama.

Such concepts, as defined by authentic masters of the game, should help apply validity to Universal Artists, International’s product as one of genuine quality and true to the game. Along with the products defined, our guests to the major charitable site under construction, www.endhivaids.com, will find educational links to help increase awareness of HIV/AIDS, as well as methods of prevention and sites which to donate or participate in the uphill struggle against the disease.

It's all about Ms. Fame

One feature of particular interest to fans of Universal Artists, International and Shaka Production’s lineup of stars such as Black Flock Gang, A-Dub and Lil’ J, Christian Levi, Ms. Kesha Lee, Nya aka Not ya Average, Black and Haze, Casey Rankin, Funk Daddy, Gallas One, JJ Cruz, Dem Hardheadz, FAM Boy$, The Bionic Rapper, Peter Damian, and the dubious and provocative C4 of Houston fame is the availability of downloads, CDs, merchandise such as apparel, posters, etc. with company logos and the names of your favorite Universal Artists, International and Pure-Records’ favorite artists at reasonable prices, with wide selections, and various proceeds going directly to benefit the duo’s favorite charity’s.

Peter Damian: The One and Only

Please make sure to track Universal Artists, International’s progress as we continue to use our funds and your www.paypal.com donations to payments@universalartists.net towards the creation of the www.endhivaids.com site which will lead to global efforts to eradicate a wide array of world maladies and injustice through donations meted out according to need, with special consideration given to our personal choice, pediatric AIDS.

www.universalartists.net

For more information, please visit us at www.universalartists.net, www.myspace.com/universalartists, www.youtube.com/universalartistsintl, www.myspace.com/joesternmcgovern, www.myspace.com/universalshaka, and www.myspace.com/blackflockgang in addition to our global blog, www.universalartists.wordpress.com.

For any opportunities at your own stab at stardom, please direct your A&R queries directly to the form on our contact page of www.universalartists, or for matters of production, shaka@universalartists.net. For domestic bookings, please call 1(619)757-1301 at our San Diego/LA Metro office, or by writing to blackflockgang@myspace.com. For international bookings, matters of retail or wholesale, or any similar kind, please contact Joe Stern-McGovern’s personal assistant at joesternmcgovern@myspace.com.

Gallas One: UK's Finest via Glasgow

If you are another label or corporation interested in sponsoring Universal Artists, International in our efforts, please write to guy@universalartists.net or info@universalartists.net.

Help support Universal Artists, International (www.universalartists.net) and Pure-Records (www.pure-records.com) with  www.endhivaids.com, the first step towards positive global change and awareness, as well as careful consideration for the social conscience of manking and betterment of society.

Pure-Records in conjunction with Universal Artists

Supra weathered the storm during these trying times of the streetwear biz. Their Skytop model had the internet going ham (WOW, first and last time I ever use THAT word). With the recent buzz over the Skytop 2 silhouette, Supra decided to really flex their muscles and give a sneak peak at the “Gradient” colorway.

SN: Isn’t “going ham” the newer more ignorant cousin of “crunk”? Is it really a phrase you want to be affiliated with?

The shoe will be limited to 600 pairs. Available at Colette on November 21. Check the images below.

Christian: In Your Minds and In Your Face

Joe Stern-McGovern, global agent and President of Universal Artists, Interntional,  and Shaka of Shaka Productions, have made of their smarter moves to date by bringing into the fold a young, quick tongued genius named Christian Levi, or simply put, Christian. Hailing from Bessemer, Alabama by way of Brooklyn, New York, Christian’s venture into the world of hip hop and Dirty South has certainly spanned polar opposites. He’s played both sides of the Mason-Dixon Line, while sitting on the fence of neither, proving victorious on all accounts, in spite of his youth of only 24 years.

A short locked, tall young man, Christian cuts a handsome, light skinned figure fresh and ready for the cover of Gentleman’s Quarterly in a suit by Hugo Boss. While his looks are striking, it’s his deadly placement of vocabulary which stands out so poignantly, as he takes to the microphone like a young hellion fresh out of the nest, wings spread wide and ready to soar. Who will fall the next victim to this classic bird of prey?

While the idle and foolish of Birmingham, Alabama, rest on their laurels, Christian is fastidious in his consumption of language, a proverbial, “Walking thesaurus”, arming himself with the arsenal he will require for future hurdles, future battles, and the unwary opponent he will so easily bring to bow his head in shame with adept delivery and a curious, beguiling smile, as if to say, “Yes, you’ve just been handed your ass.”

You Talkin' to Me?

Featured on several of the Black Flock Gang’s soon to be released CD, BFG, as well as Universal Artists, International’s personal brainchild, World Mixtape: Artists Against AIDS, which can be found shortly at www.endhivaids.com, young Christian is proud to devastate the competition and rise like cream on such singles as, “Put Me in Coach,” and, “This is How Money Sounds”, where his language coupled with delivery crack the skin and skulls of his opponents like a bull whip.

Like Wyatt Earp at the OK Corral, Christian is more than prepared to mess up your day should you call him out or look at him sideways. Like the old serpent flag said, “Don’t Tread on Me”. To the adventurous MC, Don’t be unwittingly fooled by his casual manner or disarming smile, this double agent lives to shame the boisterous, scramble the brains of the thoughtless, and level the stage with his clarity and epic bounce.

For all the bounty of his labor and toils, or his stature as hip hop royalty, Christian is surprisingly down to earth, so to all of his fans, should you happen to come across this icon, feel free to approach him with a smile and expect one in return.

Again, make sure to look for Christian Levi to be prominently featured as he helps in the fight against HIV/AIDS on our coming site, www.endhivaids.com. You can also find more information about young Christian at www.myspace.com/universalartists as well as our main site, www.universalartists.net.

Don't Let the Glasses Fool You...

To book Christian for a show domestically,  please write to shaka@universalartists.net, and for all international matters, please write to joe@universalartists.net, or feel free to call our San Diego/LA Metro office at 1(619)757-1301.

For the latest in Universal Artists, International’s videos, please visit us at www.youtube.com/universalartistsintl. To donate funds to the cause of building the www.endhivaids.com site for future generations, please go to www.paypal.com and submit your donation of $5 and up in increments of $5 to payments@universalartists.net. Your help in fighting the world’s plague known as HIV/AIDS is greatly appreciated and recognized.

Christian with Ms. Kesha Lee

Get the fresh Bassnectar liquid from Sub Swara on their newly pimped site. Free download after leaving your mail. Your inbox will burst with this heavy load of bass, bass, bass!

SUB SWARA – Bassnectar “Select Frequency”

I went out last night. Vids on YouTube.

Didn’t get too many pictures of the pre-anniversary celebrations and street parties since it was dark and I didn’t want to draw too many weird looks to yours truly, the wide-eyed tourist.

I need to learn how to crunk!

Yays. Just finished up on Uncle Fidel’s letter to H.E. (his excellency) Dr. Bienvenido Tejano, bestowed with the ambassadorship to New Zealand, representing The Philippines.

I’m repeating myself.

This was lunch.

RAPPERS
Cheap sunglasses: $5, fake gold: 30, looking really stupid: Priceless

(Lil Jon)

And let’s not forget the facial hair

Picture by: dunno source Caption by: shadow_slayer15 via Poster Builder

» Recaption This!

» View All Captions

These next tracks are by two emerging beatmakers Tiago & Humanleft respectively.
I’m not gonna go in to why these tunes are amazing…or how unique they are.
All I know is that they both clap hard, & are exactly what I want to hear right now… I plan on playing a lot more of this sound.

Tiago – Babel Fish

Humanleft – Le Clap Rap

Who knew Jesse McCartney was such a polyglot?

And the award for douche-song of the year goes to “Body Language.” It was a close race. Any year that also includes such aural gems like ”Birthday Sex” or a new release by Heidi Montag is a full year of possible contenders. And I’m aware that declaring this the winner with another two and a half months to go before the end of the calendar year is perhaps short sighted of me. However, from the time that I became aware of its existence several months ago through today when I finally saw the video for it I have been whole heartedly convinced that white boy’s tribute to the female form is the douche-iest of them all. Well done home skillet.

I first became aware of the song while watching clips several months ago from the Nelson Mandela 91st birthday celebration at Radio City Music Hall. I’m still not exactly sure what the connection was between the two. The man whose name is synonymous with fighting to end racial segregation and the white boy whose name is synonymous with… well… what exactly? Possibly sleeping with Aubrey O’Day? A concert that contained Wyclef, Aretha, Stevie, Carla Bruni (white girl’s allowed), as well as Alicia Keys, Queen Latifah and Josh Groban. Ok, a curious mix of folk. But then Pretty Boy comes to the stage to sing to songs: “How do you Sleep” and “Body Language.” I’m not exactly sure what it had to do with the man of the hour, but then again I’m baffled why Latifah was rocking out to “Cue the Rain” (secret confession: I actually have had more than one dance party of one to that song…).

So the young master McCartney announces to the audience before his final song that he is floored by performing at Radio City. But lest one think that he is completely obvlious to the potential wtf-ery of his pressence, he provided the following pre-song announcement/sentiment. “He has not only inspired those of his contemporary but Nelson Mandella is clearly, at least for me, a multigenerational inspiration. I’m 22 years old and I’m here for the, I’m here for the youth, I’m here for the youth of the world.” He’s here for the youth of the world? Yikes… The sparkly silver tie alone should negate him from being a representative of any major age-based group. And then cue “Body Language” performance, complete with backing by middle-aged African choir. Amazing, for all the wrong reasons.

So it’s a song about a girl’s ass, right? An ass that makes him want to say “Hey-ey-ey. Hey-ey-ey. Hey-ey-ey.” Maybe that’s why he struggles with the other languages: he’s still struggling with complex thought in English.

Before tackling the video, let’s consider the lyrics. “Parlez vous francais? Konichiwa, come and move it my way. Hey little chica from Guadaloupe, that thing you got behind you is amazing.” The series of statements, regardless of ridiculousness of them seem to necessarily negate the subsequent statement of “Now I don’t speak Spanish, Japanese or French.” Um, sir, you just did. Although I will conceded that chica + Guadaloupe do not a native Castillian speaker produce. But alas, I digress. Particularly since it doesn’t matter since “the way her body’s talking definitely makes sense.” Ok, fair enough. The ho walk is an international language, I suppose. Particularly if she’s going to break it down “articulately.”

Maybe I’m being too harsh. I mean, it is a pop song. Why have depth in lyrics? Oh right: because as is, the song makes you sonld like a douchebag. Also, can we declare a moritorium on white youth using the word “Shorty” as a term of endearment towards another? Even if she is “the hottest girl of the year.” Which, come to think of it, what kind of title is that? Is that like People’s Magazine “Most Beautiful People” issue? Where suddenly the winner one year is no longer the winner the next year, because their pretty quotient has gone down? Is there a trophy for being hottest girl of the year? Maybe a surfboard like at the Teen Choice Awards? Or is it just a venereal disease that one gets instead? Changing topics quickly…

So that brings me to the Nappy Boy/Pretty Boy collaboration.  I often wonder: is there a contest every year for who can have the most number of collaborations? Do T-Pain, Lil Wayne, and Kanye get together and battle it out? Do they play Kings with Crunk Juice? In terms of the first two, “Can’t Believe It” is a fantastic song and an even more amazing video. And the “Lollipop” was ridiculous fun. I’ve already established my love for Wayne. In terms of T-Pain, once he was on a boat, there was much love (few people can sing about Poseidon convincingly).

I’m not sure why T-Pain was needed for Mr. McCartney’s song though. When he used Ludacris, there was a reason: there was a separate verse, and the talent was not wasted. Also, in the video for “How do you Sleep,” it was pretty badass to see Luda mounting two cars (because he likes to mix it up that way) and basically driving JMC to the background. In this case, though, wasted talent. A bridge in a song does not merit Nappy Boy’s presence. Especially for a song about trampy white girls and the white pseudo-r&b pop singers who love them. And with that, I turn to the video.

I’m over the whole backstage concert footage music video thing . It was never exciting, except for the handful of audience members who make the cut for the crowd scenes. And I’m sure even they after a while hate seeing themselves forever archived on VH1 with poor concert attire chioces a decade after the fact. For “Body Langauge” though, it’s as if the director couldn’t decided what kind of video he wanted. Performance scenes with horizontal streaming blue light: check. Concert footage: check. Backstage shenanigans and a day at an amusement park: check. Recording studio shots: check. Strange sneaker fetish shots: check. Girl wandering the beack in a green bikini and unwashed hair: check. It’s this last part that is perhaps most confusing. Not because it is simply one more element in the melange of ideas that created said music video. No, it’s because it seems as though the casting director missed the point of the song: it’s about a girl about whom it could be said “that thing you got behind you is amazing” (complete with full arm rotation ending in an ok hand gesture).  Sadly home girl’s not working with that much in the trunk. Nothing’s shaking. Nothing’s grinding. Nothing’s banging like a speakerbox. She’s staring whistfully out at the water hoping that her anerexic hip bones won’t crumble under the pressure of supporting herself upright. It’s hard to imagine that she’d make anyone want to say “Hey” let along a mutli-syllabic inflected form of it. And for future reference: ankle bracelet = downgrade.

But what do I know. I do speak French.