This realization settled in on me the other day as I made the 40 minute drive home from work earlier this week. I love that drive. It is on rural roads, through field and forests, there is no traffic; the views are of hills and valleys and farms and cows. I like farms and cows. I value that bucolic commute at the end of the day as it gives me time to think in quiet solitude. The last few weeks the focus of a lot of that thought has been about my elevated arousal.

I have been feeling really aroused during the last month or so. I usually function at a high level of arousal but for some reason I seem to be even more so lately. As I drove home I thought about sexual desire and the subtle differences in the way I experience desire based on what I think about, what I am doing or whether I am with someone or alone. I realized that I am now able to discern subtle differences in my arousal and in the sensations that result from various sexual activities; years ago I probably couldn’t have.

I came to appreciate that arousal like fine wines is prone to have differences. Some wines have a bite, while others are mellow and yet others are light and fruity and others still are heady and robust. I concluded that my arousal is very much like the differences in wines. Certain wines accompany certain foods and situations better than others. Some are sweet while others are tart and tangy. Some are rich, full bodied and mellow. My arousal and my sense of sensual eroticism is indeed just as varied.

Eroticism is alluring and beguiling, it infiltrates body and mind in equal measure. My senses are relaxed but they are sensually piqued at the same time; daydreams of intimacy occupy my thoughts throughout the day. This morning J and I slept in a little late as I was working home today. I had done a very pleasant MMO session between 4 and 5:30 AM. At 5:30 I fell back to sleep until 7 AM. The pleasant glow of post MMO tension still resonated in my pelvis and particularly in my perineum and anus. J and I were cuddling in half wakefulness but my sleepy relaxed state of mind encouraged me to just enjoy the mellowness of the moment and lay there. There would be no hand job, oral sex or a quickie this morning just a relaxed caress, and that was fine with me.

I have come to appreciate this mellow baseline arousal that has characterized my daily mental state lately. There is a relaxed eroticism to it; it lacks desperation and urgency. Just the opposite, it is an awareness of sensuality that lingers and encourages me to savor it. I particularly love that when I feel this way a simple kiss with J becomes eloquently sensual; I hesitate to part from her warm lips. There is a profoundly reassuring dimension to her kisses when I am aroused like this. They are deeply satisfying; they strengthen the bond between us. Unlike a kiss of sexual urgency that speeds up my heart and stirs my mind, a kiss when I feel this way is calming; they slow my thoughts and my heart rate.

In my youth and well into adulthood the urgent desperation of ejaculative orgasm or horniness was my singular perception of sexual arousal; that and the sweet relief of ejaculation. There was urgency to my arousal and occasionally there still is. It is pressure that demands to be released; it has a definite outward orientation to it. It is always accompanied by an erection that stretches my underwear and strains against my pants. The star of this sensational performance is my cock, or more accurately my cockhead and a couple of inches of my shaft beyond my cockhead. The sensation at the tip of my cock also resonates in my cock root; the muscles that hold my erection up are taut and in very pleasurable tension. Cock centered arousal in me will almost always be accompanied by a steady drip of pre cum and the sensation that produces that precum is buzzing warmth deep in my pelvis.

Sexual sensation leading to ejaculation is a slow build up and a crescendo which culminates in a climax. At that climax cymbals crash, bass drums pound and trumpets blare as I arch my back, thrust my pelvis out and expel ropes of steaming cum. The climax brings the powerful pulsing relief of ejaculation. That relief is centered in the base of my cock, my penile bulb and my perineum. As my anus spasms in sympathy with the convulsive spasms of my cock there is a lilting transitory bliss that teases my anus.

When I learned to have Aneros orgasms or Super O’s there was a paradigm shift, sexual pleasure was no longer solely in the domain of my cock, it was an experience to be shared with my anus. Over the first couple of years that I was dedicatedly triggering anal orgasms with an Aneros I came to appreciate the versatility of my anus and the wide variety of pleasurable sensations it could produce. Unfortunately my control of that pleasure was minimal; I didn’t have the mind / body control I needed to guide the orgasmic pleasure in my anal canal. I was like a small child trying to hold a high pressure fire hose. I never knew where the sensation was going; it was all I could do to try to hold onto it.

In due time I developed the ability to guide anal pleasure; with that accomplishment I put the kaleidoscope of sexual sensations to my eye and watched in fascination as I experienced riveting bliss. As my previous experience of sexual sensation was external in my cock, I was not used to the qualities of this new source of pleasure. It was internal; I could not touch it, or grab it to facilitate it. Ejaculation was as I said earlier a sensation that seemed to push from the inside of my body out. Anal orgasm just the opposite was a sensation that began inside of my body and seemed to bore further into me.

Beyond the twisting ecstasy that accompanied anal orgasm was the quality that anal orgasm happens in multiples. In a multiple anal orgasm for me there is no ejaculation; the build up to the crescendo is a pumping pulsing pleasure that engages my entire anal tract. As my prostate pumps rhythmically and my cock root spasms and tugs at the core of my cock shaft the echoes of bliss reverberate in me. The resulting orgasmic melody is one of a pervasive percussion section pounding deep intense pleasure as flutes and brass liltingly thrill in soaring melodic orgasmic ecstasy.

In anal MMO there is no build up, climax and resolution; there is a pulsing build up to a wavering climax that does not subside and links to the next climax. At the plateau, the pulsing becomes deeply resonant; as it pounds it is supplemented by a pleasurable tremolo which cascades to a slight decline in bliss. The process leads to a pulsing climb again to another crescendo and then another after that. The sensation of all of this is a series of pumping waves that modulate in intensity and sensation with subtle differences in which of my “sexual instruments” takes the lead. In a wave the pleasure may get passed to my anus and then eventually ripple back to my prostate. In another wave the pleasure may get passed down to just behind my balls in an agonizingly blissful sensation that doesn’t often happen. If I hold my cock in tension I can force the pleasure to express itself in my cockhead.

I have learned to discern the differences between Aneros induced MMO’s and non penetrative MMO’s. An Aneros MMO is like rum, there is a sweetness and richness to it that is accompanied by a tangy bite; it that is very pleasurable. An Aneros MMO is sweet and gripping and hard; it grabs my body ands pulls my body into throbbing pulsing bliss as it does this it elevates the pumping pleasure to an excruciating level. The concept of agonizing ecstasy entered my sexual vocabulary when I began having Aneros MMO’s.

In non penetrative MMOs, the pleasure is much more mellow and resonant, like a cream sherry. The languid ride up to the pleasurable plateau is graceful and gradual. It is harder to keep it on track, requiring greater mental acuity and keen mind body control. Once at the crescendo the pumping bliss is like modern jazz, the surprising solos and erratic juxtaposition of sensations elicits a delight and irreverent harmony that seizes my soul.

I remember how I had my first non penetrative MMO. Almost 4 years ago after a particularly intense session in a hotel downstate in the early morning hours I left to make the drive home. The session was without a doubt the best one I have ever had. It was so good that I was having after shock orgasms and “calm seas” pleasure waves for a couple of hours after I finished. The car I was driving at the time had really comfortable seats. On the drive home on the highway I was driving in silence thinking about the session a few hours earlier. It was so powerful the sensations still resonated in my anal tract. To my amazement I started feeling a glowing pleasure in my anus. Unlike an Aneros pleasure sensation this was very mellow and resonant. I began to get chills as I savored this taunting bliss that was taking root in my anus.

Fortunately there weren’t many cars on the road as it was becoming increasing difficult for me to concentrate. To my good a fortune a few miles up the highway there was a limited service rustic rest area; basically a pull off. I pulled into it and parked the car, shutting off the engine. It was very private despite the fact that it was on a 4 lane divided highway. I tuned the radio to a classical music public radio station to distract me from the occasional car whizzing by and I reclined my car seat and locked my doors. What followed was the most soothing and enticing experience I ever had. It lasted 20 minutes.

After that first non penetrative experience I knew that I had to do it again. A week later while traveling for work I added on an extra day to my trip. Rather than leave after my last meeting and arriving home late at night I stayed the extra night and left the following morning.

By that time I had learned that my best MMO sessions happened in early morning. So I had dinner and went to bed early, awakening at 3 AM to do a session. I had a full erection; I was most definitely set up to launch. I began to experiment with all the techniques that I knew to launch myself. I did not have the benefit of J’s sensually soft derriere to launch in so it was a bit of a struggle. After an hour I found myself on the glide path to pleasure. It was a clumsy effort but as the pleasure grew inside me I knew it was worth the effort.

The orgasms that resulted from that effort were sweeter than the ones I experienced in the car the week before. As I lay in unashamed nudity splayed on the imagined stage of the hotel bed I applied all the mental and physical tricks I had succeeded with in Aneros to this unchartered effort. The orgasms arrived in a resonant chorus. They were serenely chaotic, and slow and lugubrious; they caressed my body and invaded my anus instigating it to convulse with abandon. They tugged on my cock and they lifted me up gently sucking on my cockhead, licking my anus and stroking my prostate. Ripples of ecstasy rolled thru my pelvis. As the sensations grew chills ran up my spine and a profound rapture descended on me. That was the first time I applied the word rapture to an orgasm. The bliss was so serene that my mind was drained of all awareness; any awareness of time or place was replaced with euphoria.

That first induced session was to be the first on many. Since that day years ago I have refined my techniques. I learned to guide the sensations like a trainer gets an animal to perform before an audience. I am still refining my technique and I am being rewarded with constantly changing erotic experiences.

Last fall I came to realize still another set of sensations from MMO. This next dimension to the sensation of pleasure was a result of paired MMO with J. I discovered that the sensations of non penetrative MMO could be pushed to new heights if J sucked my cock as I MMOed. The only way to describe what resulted would be to say it was like being hit with an orgasmic tsunami. As her mouth engulfed my semi erect cock the MMO pleasure that had been modulating slowly and melodiously in my pelvis exploded into assertive, intense full body orgasmic spasms. The spasms compounded themselves as they fired inside of me like a machine gun.

As my cock was being savored in the warm caress of J’s mouth she toggled my nipples. I almost lost my sanity in the process. It was like the grand finale of a fireworks show occurring inside my head and my pelvis at the same time. She stopped after 20 minutes for fear that I was going to have a heart attack. Memories of sitting beside me post open heart surgery 7 years ago were too much to allow her to continue.

I will close by saying that any of you who are regular readers know that my sex life is balanced between love making to J and having MMO’s. Any discussion of sexual sensation I experience would have to include the mention of the sensation of fucking J.

I would be lying to say that fucking her was equivalent in sensation to an MMO. It is not. It doesn’t even come close. However there is a sensation that comes from having sex with J that I don’t experience in any other activity; it is a cerebral emotional connection. With my cock buried in the deep warm caress of her pussy as we both thrust and kiss and stroke each other, I am transported. Our individual bodies disappear and I become her and she becomes me. Her skin becomes the most erotic thing I have ever experienced and I feel her living being sucking on my cock and invading my brain at the same time.

When my climax arrives it comes with grace and eloquence and it fills my head as it milks my cock. My brain shuts down my body and tranquilizes me as erotic electricity rushes into my anus and shocks my prostate to convulse. The pleasure is warm and very sensual as streams of cum are expressed from my pulsing cock. My hot cream fills her pussy as I shudder in her arms.

The menu of pleasure that that I dine from is so subtly diverse and amazing that I sometimes pinch myself to see if I am real. But perhaps the best thing about it is that I am not done discovered the next sensation.

It is coming up on 18 years ago that I began this journey of sexual discovery; I now realize that it has been an effort to pursue the Tao of Eros; but it didn’t start out that way. When I began walking in this path of sexual discovery, my simplistic goal was to better understand female sexual response so I could be a better lover. I discovered Tantric Sex Practice early on; as a result of that I sought out eastern thought and philosophy as the first steps along the path. I read books and I did retreats in Tantra, Zen and Taoism; I studied some of the theory behind Kundalini Yoga. I read books on Extended Male Orgasm and Male Multiple Orgasm.

Those early intellectual efforts more than 17 years ago opened my mind to so much more than female sexual response; as I looked for sexual proficiency, instead of discovering new techniques I discovered the power of eroticism. I was exposed to the enormous power of human sexuality, sensual pleasure and emotional intimacy between people. I learned that the true foundation of experiencing more pleasure wasn’t in how I used my cock it was how I used my brain. The more I delved, the more I became fascinated by the mystic eloquence of my own erotic energy and the deep powerful river of desire that flowed from that energy. By the time I was fifty I had transformed myself to being an erotic minded sensual man with a commitment to an erotic life.

Then in my mid fifties a major health issue got my attention and made me acutely aware of the fragility of my own life; each day became a treasure to covet and relish. About the same time I learned to trigger multiple orgasms with Aneros prostate massagers. My focus on erotic pleasure redoubled.

Once I awakened my prostate, I was able to guide it to respond to stimulation; for the first time at age fifty six I experienced cascades of exquisite anal orgasms. A year or two after that I learned to induce anal orgasms without any anal penetration. I developed the skill and the mind body linkage to direct erotic energy to make non ejaculatory orgasms bloom in my pelvis by using trigger spots, guided breathing, muscular manipulation and targeted erotic imagery.

Once I gained the skill to have multiple non ejaculatory anal orgasms the final puzzle piece was in place. Without realizing it I had set several things in motion. First and foremost I rewired my sexual response and my orgasmic pathways. The process of rewiring is defined in the Aneros Forum as follows:

The distinctive changes that one’s body undergoes through the use of the Aneros. In particular: (1) becoming permanently responsive to non-penile forms of stimulation, as associated with the prostate, perineum, nipples, anus and rectum; (2) a vivid sense of tingling well-being in the pelvic region, most noticeable when not in sexual situations; (3) an overall increase in sexual sensitivity; (4) an overall improvement in sexual performance, including ejaculatory control and erectile function; (5) increased skill at arousal amplification techniques and secondary erogenous zone stimulation, among others, so that spontaneous pleasure and non-ejaculatory orgasm become increasingly easy to achieve.

Once I was rewired the doors to the discovery of my eroticism opened wide for me giving me a clear view of the world around me. The path to pursue the Tao of my erotic life and the well spring of sensual euphoria was revealed to me. I learned that erotic pleasure was not something out there for me to pick off shelf and experience, I discovered that it was in me waiting to be discovered, awakened and savored in its vulgar elegance.

What was revealed to me was an ethereal, alluring erotic force in my mental core that is my erotic desire, is the Tao of Eros that resides in me. It is a power and a thirst for sexual pleasure that defines me as a man. To access this wellspring of sexual power I needed to focus my thoughts, my fantasies, my memories and the reserve of erotic energy in my body and connect my mind to it. It required awareness, clarity of thought, body awareness and a peaceful state.

This erotic force that is my nature is an aching void deep inside me that needs to satisfied; it is a eloquent pang that cries in the night to me, pulling on my cock and making my anus throb. It is a relentless draw, coaxing me and enticing me to gratify it and feed it and embrace it. It demands that I gather all the alluring, elegantly sexual, profane, lewd, lurid, sensual, erotic, forbidden, and revered thoughts, feelings and experiences I can and cast them into the steaming pit of my erotic need.

It is in the memory of J’s sensually parted legs wantonly revealing the hair framed pink well of her femininity to me, as she holds my lips to her opened pussy mouth. Her cunt opening is yawning with nervous desire as it drools its need in a long dripping stream of girl juice. The warm sweet aroma wafting from her wanton sex intoxicates me and inflames my need to sip and lick the cream of her desire as it flows from the delicate folds of her inflamed lady lips.

So many times my tongue has teased her pink gash, coaxing the milk of her pleasure to flow from her quivering opening. I can see her lush lady flower, dripping with dew in my mind when I close my eyes. I have teased and taunted her glistening pearl to harden into stone and part her lips as it makes her aroused pussy mouth dilate and then convulse in the demanding anguish of sweet orgasm. In its fevered arousal her clit commands her attention and empties her mind of rational thought. It prys her pussy lips apart to reveal the gate to her ecstasy to me. Her clt entices her vulva to swell and engorge and make her vaginal cleft yawn with arousal and congest with the sticky warm passion that she will gush into my mouth. As the leaden weight of unrealized erotic pleasure gathers in the pit of her feminine canal, her pussy mouth becomes heavy with lust, and aches with orgasmic need.

Holding her ass cheeks in my two hands, I bring her passion swollen pussy to my mouth. Her warm soft pelvis is like a large ripe fruit whose warm sweet flesh is there for my taking. Savoring the musky aroma of her aroused pussy, my mouth engages the tender, most cherished and private part of her body; it is warm and so delicate. I drink the warm sweet cream from her quivering flesh bowl, cajoling the opening with my tongue, urging it to make her quiver in ecstasy and give me more of its thick warm cream. As she writhes in agonizing orgasm she gives me yet more of the warm nectar of her passion, it coats my tongue and feeds the erotic force in me.

But the sweet rewards of J’s pussy racking in orgasm is not enough to slake the parched thirst of my erotic soul. I fantasize about women friends who are close to me and who respect and admire me, seeing me as not a friend and trusted partner but as a powerful source of male sexuality. I imagine that to them I am rigid male lust, tempered by nurturing desire to please, available to penetrate them and touch their feminine souls with my pulsing cockhead. I fanaticize what their pussies might look like and what it would feel like to bathe the interior of their cunts with my semen. I think of them coming to me and imploring me to penetrate and satisfy them. With bewitching skill and cunning they entice me to bed them and remove their clothes tortuously slowly as they lay languidly, legs parted waiting to feel the intrusion of my rock hard cock and the ultimate sweet reward of my pulsing cock pumping my cum deep in the cunts.

Their need to feel my sexual presence on them, in them and with them as they experience rapturous pleasure is pervasive. In my mind they desire to share the experience of sucking, tugging, pumping orgasmic bliss with me. They crave holding my naked body on top of them as the flames of enticing sexual nirvana lick at their clits and nipples and make them cast aside their inhibitions, their vulnerability and their self consciousness.

I fantasize that they are so overcome with lust that they embrace me shamelessly as their orgasm pummeled, sodden vaginas long to suck the cum from my cock, and their twitching anuses are throbbing in wait to convulse in orgasmic bliss.

I imagine suckling their clits as I pinch their aching nipples. My teasing stimulation drives them crazy with lust. My erotic taunting is amplified by my probing fingers and the tugging sucking bliss of my mouth on their clits. Lithe feminine bodies stiffen under the crushing pleasure of growing orgasmic tension.

And when their pussies are trembling with pent up passion and their pussy lips are inflamed and steaming with the heat of orgasmic need, their minds will be numbed to guilt and embarrassment. They surrender to my cock and they pull my long prong to enter their swollen vaginas. My stone hard cock is hot with my own need and it is dripping the clear nectar that will provide the easy sensual friction that will bring their pussies to ecstasy. My cock lodges in the wetted pink openings of these women who are trusted friends, admired colleagues, and co workers and whose bodies entice me daily and whose soft lilting femininity teases me and lulls me into these lewd and lurid fantasies.

In the warm safe confines of my fantasies I press my large helmet like cockhead into the steamy mouth of their desire saturated pussies. I feel their cum thirsty cunts swallowing and pulling on my cock, sucking it in and milking it to extract the pearlescent white creamy reward that they thirst for. And then as we dance the undulating dance of shared passion they roll their pelvises, tugging on my cock in the process. As they cling to my cum slimed shaft they try to hold it and caress it and lovingly suck the cum from my heavy balls. But the powerful grasp of a pussy mouth slimy with a women’s cum, cannot hold a slippery cock shaft; it slides from their slippery openings getting jelked in the process. I lay there immobilized on my back as they force my cockhead to slide in and out of their swollen cunts. The vision of lust swollen vulvas and dripping vaginal mouths stretched open by the girth of my cock shaft as my cock head remains invisible in the depth of their pussies is one that I think of all the time.

And then, when these lovely women who like me and care and me feel the onset of the magical crescendo that will transport them to sensual rapture they look into my face just before they succumb with a look of mixed awe, confusion and elation. That look gives me permission to release the flood of my thick hot creamy semen cocktail into their spasming pussies. As I pump my hot seed into their convulsing vaginas we both experience that sweet moment of shared euphoria that is laced with the luridly erotic thought of our forbidden coupling.

But the thirst of desire in me is not satisfied feeding on the alluring sensuality of feminine desire it wants more. My Tao has beguiled my erotic mind to desire the hot rigid lust of a cockhead in my mouth spilling its thickened salty sweet semen on my tongue.

I have experienced the warm flood of male passion filling my mouth in a pulsing stream; it is a vivid memory. I have held a man’s ass as he unloaded the hot thick molasses of his lust in my mouth for me to drink and savor. I have felt a man’s cock between my ass cheeks as he dry humped me to shoot his load and butter my crack. I have experienced the divinely erotic sensation of the underside of my cockhead rubbing on his as we teased and taunted each others nipples and coaxed our cocks to regurgitate our loads on each other. I remember the feeling his hot cum bathing my cockhead glazing it with the creamy warm icing of his desire.

These are the thoughts and memories that flooded my mind only an few hours ago. It is 7 am now; these arousing memories and fantasies were filling my head only a few hours ago detonating the waves of erotic pleasure in my pelvis and perineum.

The torrent of sensual pleasure imagined and remembered combined in cascades of orgasms to feed my erotic appetite, I could feel the thirst turn to desperation as the sensations of bliss and growing rapture grew and blossomed in my anus.

The well of my erotic pleasure is now full. As it was being filled, pulsing sensations of sexual pleasure and orgasmic tension came with it. The pulsing pleasure and that sweet tension sent ripples of euphoria through my body. Soon my pelvis began to convulse blissfully as those ripples turned to tidal waves of agonizing ecstasy that made my cock dance the dance of tortured pleasure and my anus gulp and twitch as it tried to swallow all the rapture it could.

In the flood of sexual sensation the fountain of my rapture overflowed with sexual sensations, erotic visions of sexual beauty and feelings of raw male lust. I struggled to drink them and feel them all, but the onslaught of this flood of orgasmic pleasure was more than I could consume. It covered me just as cum being expelled from a dozen cocks would coat my face.

For an hour I twisted and wallowed as wave after wave of orgasmic bliss reached into my anus and milked and squeezed the wellspring of my masculine pleasure. As the excruciating pleasure of MMO tugged on my cockhead and convulsed my prostate I lay in muted stupor. Visions of a cluster of men and women on me naked, sucking my nipples and my cock, tonguing my anus, probing my ears with their tongues, sucking on my balls and filling my mouth with cum obliterated reality as my body was filled with erotic rapture.

When the MMO was over I emerged from bed with my cock dripping with pre cum and the erotic need in me blazing like an inferno. The forge of my orgasmic furnace tempered my mind to a sensual edge. My pelvis was filled with desire and my body felt alive with my sexuality. My cock had been tuned and my prostate was loaded. My mind was attuned to the warm beautiful eroticism that is my daily life.

My experience of orgasm, MMO and the erotic mindfulness that accompanies it makes me the man I am.

The sweet bliss of MMO has danced into my life today bringing me a little closer to the erotic force that runs through my being. I am not one with The Tao of my Eros yet, but I am moving incrementally closer.

Now as a mature man I am the father and sometimes grandfather figure to young women and men alike. I am a liked person. People look up to me and trust me. I appear to be “Father Knows Best”. I am a rock, but beneath the steadfast respected rock of all these years is an extremely sensual, emotional man with a quiet but powerful sense of his erotic self; my sex drive is like a steam locomotive.

If I had to describe myself, I would describe myself as an erotic iceberg. That part of me that is described above is a large part of who I am. And underneath the surface those characteristics are indeed who I am. But also underneath the surface hidden from daily interaction is a sensual man whose thoughts and perceptions and interests are of deeply intimate eroticism and open sexual expression. This blog has been a godsend, providing a vent and an opportunity for open expression of this hidden part of me. This blog has been so liberating I cannot put it into words. It is the first time in my adult life that this erotic part of me has access to fresh air. Recently I have received a number of compliments from readers who expressed their appreciation for the eroticism that I express here; I thank all of them and you all who are reading this.

So if this erotic part of me is hidden away and buried in my daily life the question is, how and when is it ever given free expression? It gets real exposure two ways, intellectually and physically. Intellectually it gets exercised in on line chat with friends and acquaintances; physically it gets expressed in the privacy of my home on weekends. This last weekend has been a typical interplay of the two. The chat occurs with a few close friends; those chats with this limited number of people are intensely personal and extremely intimate. We share things that we do not share with close people in our real lives. The anonymity of the internet allows for sharing of erotic and sexual intimacies that before the internet where unexpressed, never seeing the light of day.

So on Friday night I was in chat on line with two close friends in the course of the evening. Although we talked of many non sexual things, the chat did eventually turn to the blog revelations of last week. As is the case when talking to these two individuals the chat awakened and aroused the dormant sexual animal in me. By midnight my cock was hard and wet and my thoughts were drifting to the erotic.

After a delightful end of the day cuddle with J it was lights out and sleep. My normal 4 AM MMO wake up stirred me. Like a drone bee programmed to return to the hive I slid over to J’s derriere and spooned her to launch, nudging my long erect cock into the warm embrace of her derriere I waited. The metronome of erotic pleasure spasms started immediately, each thumping pulsing beat triggered a spasm of pleasure that started initially in my rectum and anus and rolled down to my cock root. Slowly the spasms increased in intensity until they saturated my pelvis with their warm thick pleasure. I lay in passive rapture drinking in the torrent of ecstasy that was filling me. The pleasure caused the sweet warm precum to flow from my lurching penis spigot like the sap from the tap in a thick maple trunk. As I lay there immobilized by the ecstasy that was rushing into me I envisioned my cock as a thick branch responding to the erotically warm rays of the spring sun; my precum sap was drooling a clear warm string into a bucket.

The session lasted an hour, its warm reassuring bliss dulling my senses and wrapping me in warm sensual rapture. After the hour of floating in sweet pleasure I was passed from the languid arms of orgasmic bliss to the quiet peace of sleep. With my semi erect cock oozing the residual sap of my passion I drifted into an erotic dream. The dream captured the visceral sexual sensations that I was wallowing in and crafted them into an erotic tableau in my mind that I could see, live and walk in. Even though it was only an ethereal play in my mind, it hardened my cock as if I was living it. As I lived the imaginary eroticism my penis rehardened; it was teased and taunted to arousal by the lurid scenes in my minds eye.

As the dream held me firmly in erotic haze by my cock, daylight flooded the room and eventually stole me from the hazy heat of erotic fantasy. I awoke with the hard oak branch between my thighs dripping in its ache for feminine attention.

J and I relish long eye to eye smoldering and impassioned love making sessions. In this passion drenched lovemaking I would lie between her thighs with my cock drilling her sexual secrets. With perseverance my passionate drilling pierces the life hardened shell of daily frustration that consumes her thoughts and dips my cockhead into the warm well of sexual desire that is hidden in the depth of her pussy. Tapping into that reserve of hot lustful feminine sexuality her pussy will gush and convulse its joy; the erotic energy that is released will make her soul shudder and her pussy tremble as it regurgitates steaming ecstasy in body twisting convulsive spasms.

But Saturday morning in her sleepy state of caring for me, she was not interested in putting in the mental effort of having me prospect for the source of her desire. Laying there is peaceful repose she rolled towards me in the sensual warmth of our shared bed and gave me a kiss. In the many years we have been sharing that bed and intimacy that is implicit when we are together in it, I have learned to read the subtle and varied messages of her kisses. This one said in simple terms ….. take me. So I did.

As she lay on her back I finished the kiss by rolling on top of her and assuming missionary position between her parted legs. We seldom fuck missionary because it doesn’t afford me access to her pussy so I can provide the necessary extra stimulation that will hoist her into orgasmic paroxysms. But she wasn’t interested in orgasm that morning, she was interested in the deeply gratifying sensation of my cock filling her cunt and feeling my cock pulsing deep in her pussy. She was craving the sensual pumping of my cum into the well of her femininity.

With great dispatch I wasted no time lodging my cockhead in the mouth of her womanhood and pressed against it, forcing it to open and engulf my swollen cockhead. In an uncharacteristically selfish display of my lust I slid my arms under her back and embraced her holding her tightly as I unceremoniously slid my aching dick into the soft yielding warmth of her cunt. Burying my face in the warmth of her neck, and hiding my face in her hair spread on the pillow I became a male animal in rut. In vulgar passion I ground the base of my cock against her pussy mouth stretching it open to accept my girth and the deep penetration of my full length.

As I rocked my pelvis against the soft pad of her vulva my penis was being caressed by the hot wet sensuality of her pussy canal. The silken softness of her femininity kissed, stroked and massaged my cockhead imploring it to release and unload its erotic burden in her. I heard the silent pleas of her cunt in my mind, begging and cajoling me to succumb to its wiles. The siren like pleas of her pussy had an impact on me; the intensity of the pleasure I felt as I probed the depths of her pussy with thrusting grinding motions of my hips intensified to the point that it became difficult to maintain control of my muscles. As the moment of inevitability seized me, my pelvic thrusting became more and more spastic until at the moment of orgasmic crisis my body went rigid as I arched my back and pushed my cock deeply into her.

The last three days of MMO had collected a pool of cum deep inside of me that was desperately waiting for this moment. My arousal had also been ground to a razor thin edge by the hours of sessions that preceded this moment. In that white hot moment of rigid passion I handed control of my body over to the primal roots of my being. I pressed my long hardened cock so deep into her I could feel the tip of my cock hit her cervix. And then as all function in my brain shut down to focus all my attention on the steaming pool of male sexual heat that was bubbling in the swollen gland in pit of my anal canal and my tingling itching cockhead in the warm blissful caress of her pussy, I let go.

The rush of orgasm came with profoundly hard pumping spasms that grasped me with such extreme pleasure, I buried my face in the hollow of her neck to stifle the bellow that I could not hold back. The force of the cum being hurled from the pit of my sexuality felt so agonizingly sweet, my body trembled and quivered as I felt it travel the miles it seemed to go to reach freedom. With a torrential gush I then pissed a hot stream of cum all over her cervix as lights flashed in my brain, and waves of euphoria washed over me. I felt such elation as she held me tightly to assure me that my creamy cocktail was accepted in love and devotion.

When it was over I felt physically and emotionally drained. We remained in bed for another 20 minutes or so as I savored the soft feminine treasure I held, that was now savoring my sexual essence in a warm pool deep in her pussy. As good as MMO feels it does not carry the deep emotional satisfaction of fluid exchange. Whether my sexual fluid is deposited in her mouth or deep in her pussy there is a deeply gratifying sense of peace that comes with giving my cream to her for her to savor.

Saturday was a normal chore day punctuated by a work related social event in the middle of the day. Dinner was early because we managed to miss lunch. The early dinner dishes were cleaned up and by 7 PM I was at my computer keyboard. The evening was spent surfing and chatting with acquaintances on line. In a chat room I participate in the subject of these blogs came up. That led to a discussion of MMO technique which consumed a good part of the evening as these guys were all Aneros users. The chat is always arousing as we compare notes and talk about best practices and the sensations that result.

Later that evening an acquaintance from that forum engaged me in a personal message conversation about technique and getting some tips to help him. That led to a conversation on something that has come up with several friends on line that are trying to learn MMO techniques, that was if I would consider “one on one” real life MMO coaching. The thought began to really intrigue me. For the first time since anyone has asked me about coaching, I began to think of it as seriously possibility. So after I got off line I began to assemble a coaching outline of what to do to guide a guy to experience prostate and anal pleasure and how to do it.

For an hour before bed I wrote out the outline in a series of steps and activities and how I would show a guy trying to learn to be anally orgasmic. The entire exercise really got my erotic juices flowing. So as I got into bed that night I found myself in the same state of arousal I was in earlier in the morning.

After we both read for a while I reached over to the lamp next to the bed and turned the lights off; J and I cuddled and kissed and soon we were both asleep. The night was long and peacefully quiet. I skipped my 4 AM session as it felt too good to sleep to wake up and focus my brain on anything but sleep. So I turned over and went back to bed.

It was this morning (Sunday) at 7 AM when I woke up. J was sleeping deeply on her side of the bed. I was wide awake with the anxious ache of arousal gnawing at my aroused prostate; like a willful child, erotic desire was tugging at my erect cock, trying to get my attention.

Lying on my back I decided to try an experiment. The previous week I had been able to sustain a very intense MMO session that had been going on for an hour by resting my middle finger gently on my frenular cleft and simultaneously teasing and rubbing a nipple. I wondered if I could launch with finger pressure on my frenular cleft.

So as I took a deep breath I put my thumb between my belly and cockhead. Grasping my coronal ridge on the top of my cock with my thumb I nestled the tip of my middle finger in the rigid cleft. By gently pulling on my rigid cock head I created a pleasant tension in my cock root. I then began to tease and taunt my nipple which hardened in response; my nipple felt like a pebble covered in taut skin.

The sensation in my nipple was electric; sensations of tingling and sparkling tension under the rigid flesh of my nipple made my breath catch in my chest. The sensation seemed to scatter around my nipple and then it took off in a jolt directly to my prostate. The image of a computer sending a signal to a printer came to mind as my prostate lurched to action, shuddering with a convulsive wave of pleasure.

Then in an instant as if a switch had been flipped to set intricate clockworks in motion, my prostate began to pump rigorously sending ripples of sweet sensation through my pelvis. I breathed in time to the beats and filled my head with images of me ministering to a guys erect cocks and balls as I coached them to MMO. The vision enraged my prostate; it was like waving a red flag before a bull, the pulsing gland responded by ferociously contracting on each convulsive spasm. The impact was like experiencing G forces in a rocket.

I was off on a sled ride down a steep hill; the orgasmic spasms were pumping double time as the world was speeding past my eyes. I gasped and held onto my cock head as if it would keep me from flying off the sled as the pleasure pulled me down the thunderous slope. The pumping sensation crept down to my cock root. It was as if there was a golden thread that was tautly strung between my cockhead and my prostate. As my prostate convulsed it tugged on my cockhead sharply; vibrations of ecstasy radiated from my cockhead and my prostate like ripples of pebbles of pleasure thrown in still water.

I struggled to breathe as the machine gun like spasms seemed to riveting the rapture I was feeling to my soul to remain there for eternity. I could feel the pulsing deep under the base of my cock root as the gland that make my precum were in overdrive. The clear sticky essence of my sexual desire was oozing from my cock slit in a stream.

I held on for dear life for fifteen minutes as the rapid fire ecstasy blasted away at my sanity. The precum was pooling on my belly and starting to run down my side in a cold annoying distraction. Yet I still held on. The pleasure was pounding in my pelvis like an enraged gorilla rattling his cage to break free.

With my heart pounding and my anus flexing violently as my cock played tug of war with my hand as the spasms pulled on it, I released my cock head and lifted my finger. The orgasm suddenly realized it no longer had the stimulation to sustain it, it withered and shriveled up leaving my anus quivering and my cock head slimy.

Taking a deep breath I got up and leaned towards the bathroom hoping my legs would regain their memory of how to coordinate themselves to let me walk. I sat on the toilet to pee as it was enough to get my legs to transport me to the bathroom I could expect them to stand with any degree of certainty.

As the sunlight pierced the room and warmed my lap, I pondered the events of the last two days and crafted the outline for this entry in my mind. The last two days represent a sequence of experiences that define who I am. And like many things in my life they remain hidden and unseen.

My erotic life is indeed like an iceberg.

As I ponder the transformation I have undergone, I think of it as a walk down a long dimly lit mysterious corridor. I do not know where the corridor leads. It is punctuated by a sequence of doors that I must go through as I proceed through it. Each door allows me passage to the next length of corridor until I get to the next door and that one allows passage to the next length and so on. Each door reveals a new subtle change in the passageway that follows it.

In the last 17 years each door has revealed a new erotic dimension to my sexuality; it may have been a vision, a skill, an awareness, a new sensation or an enhanced experience. Those expanded erotic discoveries continue to happen to me to this day.

The transformation began with the awakening of my sexuality. Until mid life I had a “head down and get to the orgasm” mentality that most guys have. A series of events when I turned 44 years old made me aware of the elegant eroticism of the human feminine flower. It was as if I had never seen J’s pussy before. I suddenly became aware of the sensual elegance of her aroused vulva. I would watch her pussy mouth open and drip with desire as her chest heaved with passion. I came to appreciate the alluring pink delicacy of her dusky pink lady lips as they were pried open by her passion. Her desire dampened silken folds framed a dewy opening that yawned in a silent plea for the intrusion of my tongue or begged for the probing massage of a finger tip on the secret erotic spots. But most of all I came to appreciate the hunger her pussy experienced as it craved penetration and orgasmic relief.

I have learned to savor the scent of her aroused pussy as her legs open to my mouth for a savory banquet between her thighs. I have developed a thirst for the honey of her passion. I crave the warm tangy taste of her creamy honey on my tongue. I have learned to pleasure her with my mouth and carry her to more orgasms than she can endure.

I came to appreciate that penetration is one of the most gratifying and satisfying erotic experiences J has. In turgid arousal my cock is almost 9 inches long; its shape is what is referred to as upward bent and scoop headed. I don’t know if it was providence or luck but J has told me that when I penetrate her my cockhead touches her in the most erotically tender spots. What J feels as I slide my hard cock into the silken smooth slippery softness of her cunt is profoundly pleasurable. She describes it as urgently exhilarating; it slakes a thirst that she feels deep in her pussy.

For me the experience of slipping my cock into the warm glove of her pussy canal and feeling her most feminine softness lovingly caressing my cockhead feels like I am getting millions of butterfly kisses on my cock cleft. I am overwhelmed by the sensual warmth of her pussy massaging my coronal ridge as my shaft sinks deeper and deeper into the well of her desire. Ultimately when my dick is sunk deeply into her pussy, and my pubic bone and the base of my cock are pressing against her clit she is immobilized. The sensation of my cock drilling into her, robs her of her will and nails her to the bed; the sensation of being filled by my warm hard cock is intoxicating and paralytic.

When my hips start rolling and my pelvis is thrusting back and forth, pulling and pushing my flesh rod in and out of her cunt the divine friction makes her quiver and gasp. As her pussy mouth encircles my shaft, it holds it and squeezes it; as I thrust and parry in her cunt the effect is that she is milking me. The exquisite erotic sensation that saturates her pussy canal makes it’s interior walls ooze with the cream of her growing lust. As her white pearlescent cream coats my rigid member, my cock becomes hot and slippery. The divine friction that it produces as I thrust in her rubs against the hyper erotic opening of her cunt, producing sensations of sheer sexual passion that speed her heart and harden her nipples.

I push my engorged and swollen cockhead back into her hungry cunt hole as she sucks me back in greedily. My engorged cock massages the tender flesh of her canal, eliciting a sensation of profound desire and the urgent hunger for deeper penetration. She needs to feel my cockhead kissing her soul. In response she opens her legs wider and pushes her groin against the base of my cock to swallow more of me. And again I push against her to the fullest of my length and I grind my pubic bone and the base of my cock against her clit sending sparkling erotic electricity up her spine to her brain. The tingling jolt sets off dozens of spot fires of sexual pleasure that will ultimately join to form a passionate inferno that consumes her body in a sensual conflagration. When that inferno is blazing so hot that it consumes her, it will detonate explosive orgasms that will make her twist and writhe and scream my name as she bears down and squeezes my cock in a series of vulgarly elegant convulsions.

I have come to savor and relish the experience of her orgasm as I drill her pussy with my rigid penis. I relish the sensation of her passion agonized pussy rhythmically contracting on my cock as her face is contorted in confused elation; she is being tortured by the cruel ecstasy of her orgasm.

Fucking to me became making love. And making love became an exercise of my mind more than it was of my cock. I became very mindful in my experience of sexual intimacy. The LP on my erotic phonograph got reduced in speed from 78 rpm to 16rpm. Whether I was drilling her lust sodden pussy with my hard cock and pushing her to the heights of rapture, or driving her to the limits of her sanity from my suckling on her clit and massaging her G spot with my finger, it didn’t matter. I wanted to vicariously experience the bursting spasms of bliss that convulsed in her pussy. I learned to shift my attention to savor her pleasure not mine. I became a mindful lover who knew where her trigger spots were and how they responded. I learned how to caress her, stroke her, seek out her intimate secret trigger points deep in her pussy and speak to her to make her entire body resonate with erotic ecstasy. I love watching her transform from a lady into an orgasm crazed harlot. It arouses me to no end to see her legs open wide as she pants as sexual pleasure consumes her. I love holding her as orgasm bores into her drooling cunt and finds all the secret spots in her that that make her lose control and become a quivering, trembling orgasmic siren.

As I got to know her body and sexual response better, I grew to understand the complex potential of my own sexual response. Through extensive reading, discussion and experimentation and the use of Aneros Prostate Massagers I enervated my anus and prostate and became anally orgasmic. I learned that the path to anal and P spot orgasm for me was the same as the path to orgasm for J. I learned to abandon my assertive male posture in the experience of pleasure to adopt the softer more passive role of receiver. I learned the power of my mind in preparing me for orgasm and I learned how to link my mind to my body and learn the subtle cues my body was giving me that would allow me to experience unprecedented pleasure.

With anal orgasm in my tool box the door opened to MMO, or multiple male orgasms. I won’t go on about technique here but the experience of MMO was a watershed achievement for me. Applying my mind to multiple orgasms ignited a depth of sexual pleasure that was (and still is) deeply spiritual. I understand the word rapture because I experience it daily in MMO. I learned to use the power of breathing to feed the inferno of orgasm that burned in my pelvis. And because I learned to give myself over to orgasm and withhold ejaculation, I allowed the orgasmic spasms to bridge one into the next and the next as they fed their own aroused need to convulse in relentless pleasure.

Pleasurable convulsions of my anal canal and penile bulb induced my prostate to respond by pumping and expressing its own bliss, but with no cum to expel it had no choice but to continue pumping, and the bliss continued and grew with each pulsing contraction. The orgasmic spasms then became relentless, one triggering the next and so on until they cascaded in the hundreds. Each cluster of dozens of orgasms made resonant echoes of ecstasy ring out and fill my pelvis with such divine pleasure that my cock drooled in agonizing bliss.

As the dimensions of sexual ecstasy were revealed to me in their kaleidoscopic elegance I learned the secrets about my own body that I never knew. I learned that my nipples were powerful erotic triggers. Stimulating my nipples in MMO amplified my pleasure exponentially. Stimulating my nipples in MMO made orgasm pound in my body like a hip hop song in a car stereo with an enormous bass speaker in the trunk. I will shudder and quake and tremble as I stimulate my nipples while waves of tortuous ecstasy vibrate inside me.

I learned the erotic power that resides in the tender flesh around my belly button. I learned that my frenular cleft under my cockhead responds to pressure as much as friction.

Delicate pressure by J ‘s finger under the crown of my cockhead and her warm mouth sucking a nipple will start waves of hard gripping anal spasms and intense pleasurable pumping of my prostate; rapid fire pleasure waves rush though my body in a tsunami and consume me if I lie still and allow them to express themselves. This tender two point ministration by the woman I love transports me to nirvana. My prostate will pulse gently and ripples of sweet rapture will chime like a carillon in my head. Chills run up my spine and goose bumps wash over my skin.

I learned to make J a partner in my MMOs. I can now MMO and experience relentless waves of orgasmic ecstasy with my cock in the warm suction of her mouth and not cum. She wraps her lips around my corona and gently presses my cleft with the pointed tip of her tongue. Dozens and dozens of sweet contractions detonate in my anus and prostate and milk the pleasure from my cock forcing sweet warm precum to stream from my cock slit in her mouth.

Not too long ago I learned to experience the ultimate an MMO with my cock in the embrace of her loving pussy. It took the mind body control of an Indian Fakir walking on hot coals to learn to do it, but I did it. With my cock rigid in arousal I forced my body to relax as I fanned the flames of my arousal with thoughts of the sexy lady that was straddling my hips. I watched her intently as I lay on my back and she grasped the base of my cock angling my rigid shaft so my bishop’s crown shaped cockhead was directed at her pussy opening. Breathing quietly and calmly I watched her direct my cockhead to her opening and lodge it there. Then I felt the warmly familiar kiss of her pussy mouth on the tip of my cock and I felt her dropping her body weight on my cock as she impaled herself on my rigid spike. I then felt the familiar enveloping warmth of penetration as I felt her pussy mouth engulf my cock head and then I felt the delirium inducing heat of her pussy mouth sliding down my shaft. As her vaginal canal sucked on my cock, she remained still in a meditative state of grace. I lay there in absolute surrender as she began to speak softly to me, telling me sensual erotic narratives of tender love and adoration and raw sexual need as she toggled and flicked both of my nipples.

As I breathed deeply I focused on the indescribable sensation of the hot wet suction of her pussy on my cockhead. And then I withdrew my thoughts from the sensation of penetrating her and focused on the erotic sensations that were flooding my mind. Closing my eyes I gathered the blossoms of pleasure that seemed to be sprouting around me. They filled my hand and made a beautiful sensuous bouquet that had the tangy scent of her pussy in arousal. The sexy heat of that thought induced the first pop, deep in my anus; it was my prostate spasming. It was like the first kernel of popcorn, popping in a popcorn pot. Then after a while there was another and another and another. Then there were dozens and dozens in quick succession.

I looked up at her face in dazed elation, she knew what was happening. She leaned down and kissed my lips softly as the orgasmic spasms fired in my pelvis rapid fire one after the other. My eyes closed again and my body was filled with the symphonic bliss of orgasmic cacophony. Pleasure filled my pelvis and then my body and then flooded my brain. J told me that I trembled and shuddered for 20 minutes in relentless orgasmic euphoria, I had no idea how long it was because I wasn’t there. I was someplace else far away wrapped in a warm blanket of erotic bliss. Over the months that followed I had many MMO sessions each with its own lush sensual signature and identity.

Then several years ago I passed through a new door in the corridor of my sexuality when I began to feel a sensual longing when I saw an erect cock on line. That change occurred about the time that I learned to MMO. I now know that that was the start of my rewiring. A year or two after that, I arranged to spend time in intimate exploration with a man. I experienced the sensual eroticism of a man’s erect cock in my mouth. I learned that I could bring a man to orgasm and watch the cum spill from his cockhead with my finger deep in his anus. I felt his prostate pulse as I massaged it while my mouth sucked the cum from his cockhead like sweet malted milk through a straw. That experience is described in the entry: My Darkest Secret”. That experience was the opening of the door of male erotic beauty for me.

I had always found my own cock to be very sexually attractive. However that perception did not extend to other guys cock’s. Once I was rewired I saw any guys erect cock spewing billows of white cum as profoundly sensual and highly arousing. I revisited porno clips, an activity that I hadn’t done in quite a while; this time instead of watching fucking or oral sex as I did before I watched two guys frotting. I watched spellbound as swollen purple red cockheads rubbed together and veined decorated cock shafts rubbed against each other. I watched pre cum leaking on each other cockheads, providing sensually slippery stimulation. I watched two guys feverishly humping each others cocks until their lurid dance culminated in the pulsing mingling of their cum. I watched that cum as it oozed from pulsing cock slits and coated each others cocks in a white sweet glaze.

I watched two guys belly humping, grinding their cocks against each other, their asses clenching as muscular arms embraced desperately. They thrust and ground their pelvises back and forth pushing against each other until they both shuddered. Although I could n’t see it I knew from their movements that orgasm had claimed them both; their spewing cum was hidden by their bodies pressed together. As a result I now see the sensual eroticism of male arousal and male sexual response. This is the latest door I have opened; it promises to reveal some wonderful and sensual visions for me. I remain monogamously heterosexual but the labels of sexual orientation have lost their meaning for me.

These last few days I have come to realize something very profound about this journey and the metaphorical corridor I have described here, as well as the sequence of revealing doors I have passing through. I realize now that the corridor I walk in is this blog. It has been the defining structure that has given my journey meaning. It has allowed me to express my sexual self in broad brush to all of you and in intimate detail to a handful of on line friends. Each door I opened was a new experience and that experience is reconstructed in real words and hard description in this blog. Each step forward I take in the corridor allows me to look forward with anticipation but at the same time look backward in humble wonder at the transformed man that I am.

It truly has been an evolutionary process; and I look forward to that evolution continuing to reveal the sensually erotic man I will eventually be.

J has is a very passionate and intense woman; it comes with the territory of being an artist. Because of her power of perception, visual acuity and keen emotional sense, when she experiences sexual pleasure she experiences it intensely. As a deeply attuned sensual man, when I participate in her experience of pleasure her smoldering desire and climax I share a deeply private intimate and erotic moment with her; that moment is arousing in a way that nothing else is regardless of how good it feels. .

In the last few years as my MMO skills have grown. As they have grown they have amplified my libido, my sexual performance and my sexual response. My attitude towards J’s lush lithe body has become more reverential. My patience as a lover has evolved and expanded. At the same time my perception of her desire stirs and inflames me; her arousal deftly wraps around my cock, breathes its warm breath on my balls and ignites glowing embers of calm lust in my brain.. The arousal she inspires in me makes my cock harden and hang heavy with desire. When my cock is heavy and rigid I love to strut it for her as I pleasure her, teasing her with the evidence of my passion for her.

I love giving her erotic pleasure. When I am throbbing with arousal I love treating her to an indulgent, relaxing full body massage, and a shuddering oral orgasm; and if she is in the mood, deep penetrative sex and another orgasm. At this point in my sexual life and my adoration of her, giving her pleasure is even more enjoyable than receiving it myself. I love pampering her intimately and catering to her erotic needs; most of you who have read this blog already know this about me.

Last night was her birthday, the end of a really nice weekend. For me the week that was punctuated several times by some profoundly blissful MMO sessions, those sessions honed my arousal to a keen edge.

We agreed over dinner that after my “on line time” and a TV program that she watches every Sunday I would give her the rest of her birthday present in bed later that night; a massage ending with “special” treatment. So at 10:30 we closed up the downstairs and retreated to the shower and bed for the unwrapping.

As I entered the bedroom she was laying on her stomach waiting for me. My eyes swept over her back, her slim waist and her heart shaped derriere. I could’ve closed my eyes and seen her curves in my memory I know them so well. I know the landscape of her anatomy and the secret crevices and intimate places of her femininity so well. I imagined rubbing her legs, teasing her vaginal lips and massaging her clit until waves of sultry hot pleasure consumed her and made her writhe in anguished joy. I thought of so many years of stroking her lush pussy and thrusting my pelvis against her in passion. I thought of her sexy pussy mouth caressing my long rigid cock shaft, milking it as I drew my cock in and out of her. I thought of her pussy mouth sucking on my penis desperately trying to suck the sweet cream from my balls. I imagined reaching my crescendo and streaming thick white ropes of hot creamy cum deep into the pit of her vagina, or on her belly or in her mouth. The view I was drinking in at that moment and the memories of intimacy with her were so sensual and intimate I felt lightheaded.

She turned and looked up at me as I entered the room. She squirmed a little and ground her vulva down against the mattress in anticipation of feeling the warmth of my balls resting on the skin on the small of her back. The erotic heat was starting to build between her thighs. I put my hand on the headboard. I was feeling so astonishingly aroused that the sight of her body on the white sheets and the thought of her soft skin under my firm hands made the sap begin to dribble from the slit in my cock. The clear emanation of my lust hung desperately in a long thin string from the tip of my cock.

I lowered my voice slightly as I looked down at her; she looked up at me. “Happy Birthday love” I said. It is such a simple thing; I have said it 42 times over the years, but saying it to her as we are both naked and the arousal was building in both of us at that moment gave those simple words a particularly intimate tone. She looked me in the eye and then let her eye wander down to my stone hard throbbing penis; here gaze lingered on my cock. Her leering adoration of my dripping erection was a huge turn for me. I was keenly aware of the sweet erotic tension that was between us at that moment, it made my heart race as it always does.

J loves the feeling of my large strong hands on her skin. I don’t think of her as a delicate woman except at times like that. My arousal sometimes causes me to be overly expressive and squeeze her tender flesh a little too hard. When I am as turned on as I was I have to consciously be gentle on her, particularly her pussy and breasts.

Our mutual nakedness and the comfort with which we share the experience of unashamedly caressing each others aroused bodies after the long period of semi abstinence made that slow sensuous moment particularly sweet. My fulfilled desire also emboldened me. It may be hard to believe that after 42 years of bedding this lovely woman, the act of standing erect and naked before her and sharing the sight of my hardened desire with her can still stir my soul and make my cum boil for her, but it does.

The sensation of being completely and unashamedly nude before me when she is aroused amplifies her desire; she loves assuming the role of wanton woman vulgarly offering herself to my sight and my carnal pleasure. She was both relaxed and aroused. It is such an incredible feeling of physical need and adoration that her vagina began to ooze.

I poured a small amount of oil onto her back and slid my hands from her shoulders to her waist. I moved them out slightly round to her sides and slid my hands back up along her hips to her shoulders again. Using slow, sensual strokes I repeated these strokes. My strokes kept going lower and lower down her back to slide down into the cleft between her ass cheeks just above her anus. I love to tease her anus and make her flex her cheeks as I tickle the sensitive flesh around her anus. She is not a fan of anal sex but she has grown to love the relaxing and arousing sensation of external anal massage. She raised her ass to feel my finger dance tantalizingly close to her puckered opening, almost begging for the attention.

Each time I ran my hands back up towards her shoulders I slid them along her sides and pressed the sides of her breasts and the warm skin beneath her armpits. She spread her arms apart from her body to give me better access to those hot spots. The sensation of my warm hands on this sensitive flesh evoked a deep sigh. I told her to relax and enjoy the sensations of my fingers probing her sensually soft skin. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply as she surrendered to the warm pleasure that was now lapping against her body like waves of warm water on a sandy white tropical beach.

As her desire grew from a smoldering ember to a full fledged inferno she rolled over to present me her hardened nipples, tingling breasts and thickened vaginal lips engorged with the blood of her erotic need. I glanced down at her downy vulva; the dew of her arousal was glistening on the lips of her swollen cleft and was dripping a rivulet of opaque honey from her opening. It drooled down her lips to her perineum and clung to her ass cheeks.

I began to stroke her chest, avoiding her breasts but tenderly squeezing the base of her glands. Then after seemingly interminable teasing I began to massage her breasts more firmly and fully but I avoided touching her nipples. They were both hardened and crinkled like two pencil erasers set in a little saucer of dark pink skin.

My touch felt so good that she began to lift herself slightly from the bed so my hands could reach all the way around her breasts; she began to shift her body from side to side to get me to stroke and massage her aching nipples. Finally I caressed her breasts firmly and gently squeezed them as I ran my palms from her rib cage along the sides of her tits to the tips of her breasts where her nipples were stiffly waiting in anticipation. I kneaded her tingling glands from her chest to her areolas in a milking like motion, lightly teasing her nipples with a feather like touch. Her nubs hardened, darkened and erected even more in response to the sensual touch of my fingertips.

The sensation of my fingertips suddenly making contact with and delicately stroking her nipples made her twitch and inhale with a gasp. I reached down to my cock, capturing the glistening juice that was drooling from my slit on my fingertips. I spread my warm sweet cock honey on her nipples. She gasped audibly as the warm slick essence luxuriously coated her aching teats. I lowered my lips to one of her anguished nipples, surrounded it with my warm tender lips and sucked it into the wet heat of my mouth, taking back my sweet precum onto my tongue in the process.

As I wrapped my tongue around her erected nipple, I stroked it’s underside and suckled her areola firmly into my mouth and tugged at it ever so gently. Her nipple was a erotic paradox, while her nub was hard and rubbery on my tongue the skin around it was soft and velvety. Suckling her nipple was both deeply satisfying but incredibly arousing for her.

She shuddered and moaned in response to the warm echoes of bliss that were spreading from her nipples. I sucked on her with all the love and care that was in me, drinking the passion from her swollen tit and inflaming my own passion in the process. As she lay there immobilized by the intoxicating euphoria that was filling her pelvis and robbing her legs of coordination and strength, she languidly brought her hand to the back of my head to hold me to her breast. As I sipped the passion from her hardened nipple, she responded by stroking my head and holding my mouth firmly to her throbbing teat. The heat of her arousal made her nipple turn to stone and her breast cloak itself in goose bumps.

With my hand supporting her armpit as I suckled her breast I could feel her pulse racing and her breathing quickening. She was uttering my name quietly into my ear and kissing the top of my head, urging me to love her and telling me I made her feel so good. I relentlessly and languidly continued to suck the passion from her aching nipple as her passion made her breathe erratically and suck in her stomach.

I was slowly submerging her in a hazy pool of her own erotic desire. Place and time were having less and less meaning to her. All that mattered was the glowing heat of desire that had taken root in her cunt and was now burning a hole in her soul. All pretense, propriety and modesty had melted away; she was laying naked and aroused before a man that she loved deeply and for whom she would do anything. There she was vulgarly naked in our bed, giving herself to me and begging me to push her farther into the mysteriously warm and sensual place in her brain that would eventually give her the rapturous relief of orgasm.

I started to massage her thighs alternately. I worked my way up slowly towards her drooling vagina until she could feel my fingers starting to tease the skin around her opening. Her hands found mine and pushed them to her sopping pussy to let me know that she was aching for my touch. She squeezed my hand as I cupped her vulva to let me know that she wanted more than teasing, she needed firm pressure and more intense stimulation. She then began to rock her pelvis, thrusting and humping my hand, spreading her pussy juice all over my palm in the process.

I gently pushed her legs apart. Using long firm movements I stroked from the lips at the base of her vaginal opening all around her swollen opening to the top of her vagina just under her clit and back in the opposite direction. Each time I stroked her I let my thumb push just under her clit teasing her further. After several strokes like this I gently eased my finger inside the mouth of her gaping vagina, lightly at first and then more deeply. With my fingers dipping into her femininity, I put the other hand under her between her legs and used my other thumb to tease and caress her asshole and steady her pelvis for my digital assault of her pussy. I had her most intimate place in the firm grip of my strong hands and she knew that I would not release her until I coaxed sweet rapture from her with my insistent and firm strokes. She was literally helpless.

I steadied her pelvis and slid 2 fingers inside her pussy mouth, moving them gently in and out and stroking the inside of her opening. As I increased the pressure and speed of my insertion and withdrawal, the pussy honey began to ooze from her hole and pool underneath her ass cheeks. She was getting more and more turned on and she gasped and grunted as the sexy fire in her vagina was growing. I wondered how much more she could take as she began to thrust her pelvis erratically and moan and mumble profanities, intermingled with sweet affectionate comments. She was almost incoherent.

Intermittently she would open her eyes and grimace at me in a mix of adoration and dazed confusion as her arousal brought to the precipice of coherent thought. The desperation of her arousal was total. She was twisting and groaning, looking at me in desperate anguish as she humped my fingers and cursed her adoration for me.

I bent over and again engulfed her nipple in my mouth, sucking her nipple, her areola and the skin around her nipple into my oral heat. I tugged on her nipple and assaulted her clit simultaneously. Her pearl was coated with her own liquid passion; it was rigid and exposed searching for the relief of orgasm. My thumb found it as my two fingers firmly stroked the swollen spot just inside her pussy hole.

The combination of my mouth on her aching nipple, my fingers working the orgasmic swelling in her cunt and her clit was more than she could stand. She was tantalizingly close to orgasm lost in that moment between orgasmic tension and relief. My very touch was sending waves of pleasure through her body. They crashed into her brain like a tsunami and sent tingling waves down her spine to collect in her cunt and swell it with lust. She was at the edge. She no longer had any sense of reality as the pressure of her building orgasm swelled deep inside her pussy and threatened to explode it in a blissful eruption of divine pleasure. She was vocalizing her desperate need for orgasm to me and anyone else to hear.

She began to moan as I started using my whole hand to massage the entire opening of her pussy with intermittent strokes of her clit. Her vagina was wide open, begging for pleasure and her legs are parted wide. Her stomach was sucked in and her pelvis was thrust up for me. I removed my lips from her tit and lowered my hot mouth to the seething juicy hole in her cleft. I tenderly parted her lips and tongued the sweet tangy gateway to her femininity. I savored her tart sweetness and gently pulled back the hood that shielded the top of her clit. Retracting the silken hood and wrapping my lips around the trembling center of her desire, I suckled her pearl into my mouth and held it with my tongue; seductively I tugged at it tenderly as I sucked it rhythmically, stroking her glans with my tongue.

Her reaction was as if she was struck by lightning. Her body stiffened and her legs began to shake and tremble. She grasped my head with both her hands and pressed my face into her quaking vaginal opening; she began to lurch and thrust her pelvis in my face in as she shook and screamed in blissful agony.

She was groaning with pleasure and jerking wildly as the hard spike of her orgasm drilled into the desperate and tender flesh of her pussy. I stayed attached to her clit stroking it with my tongue as she bucked wildly and struggled to cope with the rapture that she was drowning in. As each wave of ecstasy swamped her, she struggled to cope with the profoundly intense sensation that was gripping her puissy just as another one would wash into her. She gasped in sheer pleasure as each spasm wrapped her in chilling bliss.

I felt her clit retracting as her orgasm squeezed her pussy and wrung the exquisitely deep orgasm from it. As the delightful relief filled her pussy, the liquid of her passion was dribbling from her twitching opening.
The orgasm played her vagina out and wrung every bit of pleasure from it that it could; the pleasure began to ebb, just like a tide going back out to sea. It left her slowly, twitching and spasming on the bed in a warm puddle of her own lust. J in orgasmic spasm, sweating and twitching as she peaked and came down from orgasm is one of the most erotic sights I have ever had. It was a very tender and moving moment for me. I kissed her dripping pussy tenderly as her orgasmic agony transitioned to post orgasmic relaxation.

She lay before me wasted and totally relaxed looking up at me with dazed adoration.
The scene I had just witnessed and participated in delivered me to a place of extreme need. My balls were on fire and my cock was hardened in its own need. I had made the transition from observer to participant., I needed her, I needed to penetrate her and be inside of her to savor the reassuring and satisfying relief that only her pussy could grant me as she held me and milked the cream of my lust from me.

After a few more minutes I stood up, lifted her legs and parted them holding them up in the air. The mouth of her vagina was red and open wide. It was slick with her honey and my saliva. She opened her eye s and looked into mine and softly and apologetically said: “fuck me”. I moved between her thighs and held my penis down, pointing it towards my target. Nestling my cockhead in the soft flesh of her opening I savored the sexual warmth that the reddened mouth of her vagina was radiating. I leaned forward and pushed effortlessly into her. She moaned a low throaty groan as she felt my cock suddenly penetrate her. She shuddered as the swollen head of my penis parted the flesh of her canal and burrowed deep inside her. I pushed into her slowly until I was bottomed out at her cervix.

I was not desperate to cum, I wanted to savor the heat of her sopping cunt and the exquisite silken feel of her vaginal canal caressing my cockhead. I felt a deep connection to her as I probed her cunt with my pulsing corona. I took her face in my hands and held her gaze, looking deeply into her eyes; she responded by returning the gaze. I was massaging the inside of her cunt ever so slowly with my big hot cock head and leaking my precum into her as I looked deeply into her eyes. I was pulling out halfway and thrusting back into her, making wet squishing noises as the white creamy evidence of her orgasm coated my cock shaft and dribbled on my balls.

Kneeling between her legs I probed her cunt and ground against her for some time as I looked into her eyes to read what she was feeling. She was looking back at me; her eyes told of her adoration and the warm connection that she felt as my penis sank deep into her most secret place again and again. She held my cock in the firm grip of her pussy squeezing, savoring it and sucking on it thirstily hoping to slake the thirst for cum that consumed it. As I continued to probe her canal I watched her expression shift from adoration to the highly erotic look of orgasmic confusion and lustful desperation.

Her slack brow was tightening into a grimace of sweet agony as she uttered to me;” oh my fucking god, you are making me feel so dirty. I am going to cum again….. oh god, oh god” . The oh god trailed off into a low throaty groan as the orgasm gripped her pussy and tugged rhythmically at my cock buried in its wet warmth.

The orgasm grabbed my cockhead and sucked on it as she fell into another body wrenching building. She was orgasming on my penis and I was along for the ride. She clasped her legs around me to bring me further and further into her as she experienced that divine moment of transition from agony to pleasure. I began to move faster and harder as I felt my own crisis approaching. I thrust into her as deeply as I could.

She cried out in ecstatic anguish as she crested in a thunderous pleasure wave. She clamped her pussy hard and I couldn’t help crying out her name as my own pleasure exploded. I spewed a thick rope of my hot cum into her. The thick expression of my lust for her came in several hard spurts that made me quake and tremble as every muscle in my pelvis convulsed to insure that I emptied every drop of my lust into her.

She lay underneath me shuddering in her second ecstatic tsunami. It washed all sensation from her other that the ecstasy deep in her cunt. When it was done she was laying in the waste of exquisite sensation and total bliss.

I smiled down at her, and repeated my affirmation of earlier …. Happy Birthday, this time adding I love you.

She smiled back “I know”.

I leaned over and kissed her tenderly.

I have only met one of these 4 on line friends in person; we got together twice. The first time we spent an afternoon together in NYC visiting and enjoying each others company and the second time I stayed with her for several days in her home in the UK, with no hanky panky other than frank and open conversation about intimacy, our lives and very moving hugs. The other three I have never met in person. I am not a superficial person; I do not have a spate of friends in real life, just a few really close friends. Those friends that I see frequently in my daily life do not know one tenth about me that my 4 on line friends know.

I met 3 of these 4 wonderful people (the women) in two sex forums I was a member of; the forth, the guy I met through this blog. I really got into the first sex forum when I was in it, the second not as much; I am no longer in either. They were racy and exciting and titillating when I was in them but after a while I realized that they did not satisfy the need I had to interact with friends in an intimate way. I desired to develop relationships that allowed me to share the deepest erotic thoughts I had and share who I am as a person. I needed to have an outlet to express what part my sexuality plays in me as person. I must admit that I am grateful to those forums because they empowered me to write and express my erotic thoughts and eventually they inspired me to write this blog. I am grateful because they allowed me the first experience to openly talk about my complex sexuality to an audience. But mostly I am grateful to them because they gave me my 4 on line friends.

I have maintained my close friendship with these 4 people even though I have quit the forums. Aside from the sex forums I have maintained my involvement with two other specialized on line communities. They have made a significant contribution to my sexuality, they deserve mention. The two sites are The Aneros Forum and Dick Net.

The Aneros Forum is special to be because through the use of Aneros Prostate Massagers and the support and advice of the guys in the Forum I learned how to become anally orgasmic. By inserting Aneros Massagers I trained myself to discern the difference between various muscle sets and manipulate them to stimulate my prostate. The gentle stroking of my prostate with a massager combined with breathing and erotic imagery revealed the pleasure I was able to achieve through my anal tract. After becoming skilled with a massager I was able to learn to induce MMO’s without penetration. That is where I am now; I am anally orgasmic and I doing a session every day.

My gratitude to Dick Net is that it has provided a safe nonjudgmental forum to view guys in arousal and orgasm and it has provided a guilt free connection to straight and gay guys who like me are into the inherent sensual and erotic appeal of cocks and male orgasm. I still participate in both of these forums and I value them for the support and assistance and opportunity they provide. I do not know of another venue where gay and straight guys can talk openly about male sexuality and erotic appeal and admire cocks together. It’s truly unique and special.

So a few nights ago I was chatting with the guy (who I will call D) about the session I had the previous night. It was a particularly intense one. We were conversing about the profoundly pleasurable experience of MMO that I have. In the conversation he posed a question to me, asking me if I ever wondered whether readers of this blog thought that I was making up this MMO experience and that all of this was grand fiction. Later that night in bed I thought about his question. I put myself in the position of someone reading about this and indeed it seemed to me that it sounds so good that it seems like it must be fantasy or erotic science fiction. But I can attest it is not.

Almost each time I do a session, the sheer bliss of it seems too good to be true. I pinch myself to make sure I am not dreaming. When I write these entries I run out of creative words to describe the profound pleasure that radiates in my pelvis as my prostate makes the transition from aching with desire to relentless orgasmic spasms that make it pulse rhythmically as it pumps bliss throughout my body. The sensation is so exquisite, erotic, sensual, desperate, powerful and pleasurable that it transports me to another place. I use the words ecstasy, rapture and euphoria a lot in these entries because that it what I experience. MMO’ s transport me to a warm euphoric place that trivializes reality. In my case the euphoria I experience is induced by exercising my anal tract and engaging my mind.

I know how lucky I am that I have developed the ability to MMO and that I have developed the awareness and mind body control to guide it, allowing it to express its many complex dimensions. I have said many times in here that each session is different and even the erotic experience and sensual perceptions within each session are different. I also learn something each time I sail in a session.

I have learned to make my anal tract equally erotically with my orgasm as my cock is. I have made my nipples orgasmic triggers. If I am aroused enough I can stimulate my prostate to orgasm by nipple stimulation. I have gained enough skill to force my prostate orgasms to link together for thirty minutes straight of machine gun like pulsing spasms of pleasure or make them rise and fall in syncopated waves of back to back thick, syrupy ecstasy. I have learned to meld my mind and my prostate and my penile bulb to harmonize in the experience of profound euphoric pleasure.

I use the words launch and sail frequently here because that is what it is to me. When I launch I leave reality and go out to a sea of sensual ecstasy. As I start to experience the gripping sensation of the pleasure building I am no longer in a bed in a hotel or in my home, I see reality fall away as I retreat into the warm hazy euphoric corridors of my mind. When the sensation reaches an excruciatingly ecstatic plateau, I feel like I am indeed floating. I feel as if the sweet hands of feminine sensuality are suspending me, massaging my cock and perineum lovingly and reaching deep into my anal canal to tenderly milk the pleasure from my prostate.

Some time ago someone asked me the difference between an MMO orgasm and an ejaculative one. I described the MMO as a combination of the sensations of having a wet orgasm, a sneeze, and the muscular spasms of reverse peristalsis when I regurgitate. It is a feeling of erotic exhilaration, a sense of profound euphoria and a hunger for relentless pleasure; it is a thirst that can’t seem to be slaked. When an MMO pulses in me my anus, anal tract, perineum, balls, cock root, penile bulb and cockhead become one. The exquisite sensation of orgasmic pumping convulsions may start in any one of those spots and it may move from spot to spot as the orgasm reveals itself. But as I coax it further and further along and help it blossom into its full eloquence and erotic power, every part of me between my anus and the tip of my cockhead will convulse in glorious ecstasy filling my pelvis with rich resonating echoes of sweet thick pleasure and pumping euphoric biss throughout my body, When it is over an hour or more later I am intensely aroused. The aftermath of a session sets me up for a day of being a sensual man.

I have said many times in this blog that I am a sensual man. MMO opened the door for me to look at the world through a sensual lens and it also fed my daily perception of the world as a sensual place. I see erotic beauty all around me. It may be a conversation with a woman; it might be the tone of her voice, her scent, her figure, her hands or her essential femininity; she becomes elegantly sexual in my eyes. In the past I lusted after the vulgar eroticism of women’s bodies in pornography, now I see clothed or nude women with the same profoundly moving sense of beauty that I see in a sunrise or in an awe inspiring vista of landscapes, sea and sky.

But unlike all those visually appealing things, interaction with a woman stirs a visceral sexual response deep inside of me. The limbic heat rises in me from a hug or a smile or a kiss on the cheek; it will harden my cock and make my anus flutter. It makes my prostate swell and harden and my cock lengthen and ache with the heaviness of desire. As a result of MMO my production of “precum” has increased significantly. When the sexual warmth radiates in my pelvis, I drool copious volumes of my clear warm nectar in a warm stream from my pulsing cockhead.

My perception of men has changed too. I now appreciate male sexuality in a different way. I do not have the same visceral response to men in daily life that I have with women. I do not get turned on by interacting with a guy the way I do with a woman. However, the sight of an erect penis or a video of a woman or man stroking a rigid cock quickens my pulse. I watch in fascination when the guy contorts his face and is seized by ejaculation rigor mortis as his cock spews thick ropes of cum. The sight of a man experiencing orgasmic rapture hardens my own cock and makes it dribble with desire.

MMO and my new sensual perspective has removed my inhibitions and allowed me to share that common experience with a man. I have felt his cock in my mouth as I kneeled before him and held his ass cheeks in my palms. I felt his cockhead swell in my mouth in the moments before he reached his orgasmic crescendo. I now know the sensation of holding his shaft in my hand as I rested his rigid and taut frenular cleft on my tongue. I know the sensation of my tongue caressing and stroking his firm cockhead, cradling it as it pulses in my mouth filling my own mouth in pulses of his hot tangy cum. I know what it is like to massage his prostate with my finger and stroke his shaft, massaging his frenular cleft and prostate simultaneously until he spews his rich cream like a volcano. In the same liaison I have felt my balls tight in the desperation to shoot my load, resting tenderly on his soft languid balls as our cock slits kissed and we simultaneously erupted, mingling our white silken semen in a cocktail of lust that coated each others cockheads.

The change in me has made me reject labels of gay, straight, bi or whatever. I am an intensely sexual man who sees erotic appeal in life with men and women. I love talking about sex and writing about sex. Writing these blog entries and admitting my deepest erotic thoughts and memories gives me an erection. As I sit here crafting these entries my cock is hard and oozing pre cum. When I chat with my 4 friends on line I am hard, and if the conversations touch a particularly sensual spot, my heart races and the thirst of desire fills me. I love the sensation of arousal that comes from intimate sharing.

I have become shameless in my enjoyment of sexual experience. I do participate in on line video sessions with one or two people I trust and like. I find the act of casting aside my sense of being vulnerable or embarrassed to be very erotic. There is a bit of an exhibitionist in me and there always has been; before I denied it or hid it, now I celebrate it. However there is also a voyeur in me. I relish the sight of J or any woman experiencing sexual pleasure; seeing J writhing in ecstasy or a woman on a cam with her body rigid and trembling in the throes of orgasmic ecstasy is a powerful erotic stimulant for me. I will shortly be sixty two years old, not to sound fatalistic but I do have a heart condition that required extensive open heart surgery 7 years ago. My sense of mortality is acute. I don’t know what the future has in store for me but I refuse to walk towards that future and deny myself the opportunity to experience the various dimensions of my sexual curisoity. I relish erotic interactions of any type.

Perhaps most profound though is the impact that this all has had in my own bedroom. While I am turned on by a cam session with a female friend, and I relish the experience of having that friend witness me ejaculating a stream of cum at the end of a hour or more of on line intimacy that experience is superficial compared to the way I experience intimacy with J.

There has been a theme through this blog since the first entry. That theme is the erotic journey I am on and the doors it has opened to my erotic intimacy with J.

I am lucky in that I am still very much in love with her; we talk incessantly about experiences, anxieties and life in general. We are best friends. She is just as sexy as she was thirty years ago; at six foot tall and 130 lbs her nude 35 x 27 x 36 figure still hardens my cock and stirs my arousal.

I have become an extremely patient and observant lover as a result of my experience with Zen and my rewired experience of orgasm. A prostate orgasm is very akin to a woman’s experience of orgasm. It has both physical and psychological dimensions; as such I under stand J’s orgasms much better and I am now able to guide her to experience shuddering ecstasy. I savor the vicarious experience of her erotic rapture and I relish forestalling my own climax to have her experience hers and have me be part of it.

Cunnilingus continues to be my favorite form of intimacy with J; he cums much harder from my facile suckling of her clit and gentle massaging her vaginal opening and the inside of her pussy mouth with my fingers than by fucking. Fucking for us is an emotional mental source of pleasure more than it is a source of physical pleasure. The sensation of sliding my hyper aroused cockhead into the wet heat of her sucking cunt imparts an emotional high that is unachievable any other way. But as for a pure turn on I would rather have my face between her thighs, kissing her pussy opening with my warm lips. As her cream starts to flow and moisten my lips making them sticky with her passion, I am passionate to tongue stroke her silken pussy lips, and lick the dripping mouth of her pussy, sipping her warm orgasmic cream from her fleshy cup.

As for me my favorite means to ejaculation with J is to have her massaging my prostate with her finger and sucking my nipples eventually abandoning my nipples to have her suck my cock as she massages my quivering prostate. The resulting ejaculation will drill into my anus and squeeze my cock simultaneously as powerful jolts of erotic electricity course through my pelvis and force ropes of hot cum to fill her mouth. I have come to realize that for me at that desperately sweet moment of release, the rude becomes refined. The vulgar act of pissing my cum in her mouth becomes so vulgarly elegant that it spew with great force, hurling thick white ropes of jizz down her throat. There have been times when I have cum so forcefully, that in forcing the volume of my cum down her throat she has choked and sputtered.

This sexual journey, MMO and rewiring have changed me as a man. In no small part my maturity has also played a role. Part of the inspiration to write this admission of my sexuality is the fact that today is the birthday of my first girl friend and best friend as a teenager. At sixteen she was the first girl I fucked. I had the experience at a very young age of fucking a girl that I cared deeply about, it was profoundly erotic for a first fuck for both of us. I reminisce fondly that her first sexual experience culminated in an orgasm and a soulful kiss from a boy that cared about her. Sadly she passed away recently. I had not seen her in many years but we reconnected in email just before she died.

I realize how fleeting life is and how special eroticism and sensuality are to me. The act of recording my thoughts, reminiscences and experiences is extremely arousing for me. Writing this blog is an opportunity to tease my arousal and harden my cock every day or so but it also fills a need in me to record my thoughts and savor their exquisite eroticism. The bonus has been that because of the public forum this blog offers I arouse other people. The thought of having my writing harden and guys cock and convince him to stroke it and coax cum from his balls or have a woman read this and have her pussy mouth open and drool her passion is a powerful source of erotic satisfaction for me.

I am a sensual man and I love sharing my sensuality with all of you. This is a snapshot of what it is like to be me. There are no surprises here because you all know me. But in the quiet anonymity of the internet as I write this I wonder about all of you. Who are you all my readers, and what makes your erotic juice flow besides reading my openly lurid narratives? I guess that mystery is part of the erotic mystery that makes my life so interesting and sensual. I like that.

Also in the last dozen or so years I have come to realize that sexual pleasure that is tinged with an element of the forbidden adds a quality to the experience of pleasure that speeds up my pulse, makes me giddy with lust and amplifies my arousal. It does not provide the deep spirituality and emotional high that sexual intimacy with J does but it imparts a flavor of excitement and lust that makes the experience extra sweet.

Initially my experience of forbidden eroticism was limited to the visual with no personal interaction. I experienced this limited erotic connection in a particular situation twelve years ago. In a city that I traveled to a lot I always requested one of three rooms that faced a building across the way. I had noticed a young woman on an upper floor that sat in her window smoking a joint many nights late at night. I started leaving my curtains open revealing a full view of the bed in my hotel room so she might witness me pleasuring myself nude as I lay in bed. After I did it the first time she took notice and watched intently. I stayed in those rooms 10 times over the course of a year for 2 or 3 nights per week. My display grew more daring and vulgar each time and her attention lingered as it did; she always waited for me to turn off my light before she shut hers. After my second stay I could see her arm moving between her legs as she worked her pussy while she watched me languidly massaging my cock until I spewed cum. Over the course of that year we became regulars. I would watch her leave the front entrance of her building the next morning while fantasies of introducing myself to her played in my head; obviously I never did. That repeated anonymously shared intimacy provided quite a rush; at the end of the year I stopped traveling to that city and my midnight play came to an end.

Erotic chat with female and male friends on line became the next source of forbidden arousal. With the advent of sex forums I made friendships and acquaintanceships that provided a willing partner. The rush here was a real person on the other end of the keyboard, still unseen but interacting fully with me sharing erotic experiences and scenarios. An hour or two did (and still does) harden my cock and make the precum drool from my slit.

Then as my on line experience grew I made a handful of close friends. Of that small group I connected with two people who I am close enough with that I cam with them. The rush from camming is a blend of the sensually vulgar showing of my self pleasure to the girl in the window and the personal interaction of chatting with her. With one of these friends (N) I have even cammed an anal pleasure session with an Aneros. She has witnessed me twisting in agonizing bliss as an Aneros in my rectum stroked my prostate; she has witnessed me arching my back and shuddering as wave after wave of sheer orgasmic pleasure drilled mercilessly into my anus. I continue to have chat sessions with N. I share the most lewd thoughts I have with her and she with me. There is a friendship that exists for titillation, sexual excitement, racy chat and for sharing observations, gripes and life experiences that friends share. The relationship is not going to be anything more.

N is a nurse, her experience with human anatomy, biology and psychology is deep; as a result her chat of human sexual response and sexual expression is unapologetically open and freely erotic. I have begun recently to have fantasies of real intimacy with N, I have told her that. That admission in and of itself is a huge turn on.

Fantasy to me is particularly erotic when it involves a real person I know; it provides me the opportunity for imagined sexual intimacy with a face and I body I can see in my minds eye. However, an imagined and openly admitted fantasy tryst with a woman I know carries that tart and sweet tang of the forbidden.

Just as many women have rape fantasies that they would obviously not want to really happen, so to I have infidelity fantasies that would never happen. The subject of one of those fantasies is (A), an administrator at a non profit that I have a leadership role in; she has no idea of my lurid thoughts of sexual intimacy with her, and she never will. Those fantasies are exquisitely erotic but they are not as sensual as fantasies with N. That is because N knows of them. That adds to their forbidden character,

N is aware of the torrid sexual thoughts I have of her, we have chatted about them many times. Her demure acknowledged thank you’s for my sensual descriptions of how sexy she is are offset many times by her own lurid descriptions of how she would suck my cock and drink my cream or the passionate way she would fuck me as her pussy thirstily sucks the cum from my cock. Descriptions she offers of me pumping her pussy with a piston like motion plunging my lust swollen cockhead deep into her pelvis heighten both our arousals. I then describe me succumbing to her passion as I desperately pump my cum into her hot pussy. Our vulgar erotic interchanges are a huge turn on for me (and her); when these lurid interchanges are accompanied by mutual cameras showing us masturbating for each other; the sexual rush becomes excruciating.

The thresh hold between reality and erotic imagination recently got extremely narrow in my mind. Fantasy with N to date has lacked context, there was no real place and no setting. Recently she mentioned that someday she might consider a trip to a place for an event; the location of this event is not too far from me, I know it well.

Fantasy and reality have now come close enough through this place we both know that the thought of meeting her there in real life hardens my cock and makes my heart race. The forbidden now has a setting and acknowledged potential for no longer being a fantasy; our shared knowledge of this place gives an element of reality to the fantasy. I now have the image of her body, the knowledge of her thought s and the shared knowledge of the setting. The fantasy has an very powerful flavor of the real to it. The prospect of the forbidden, a meeting and an intimate interchange was inflaming my arousal. Although it will most likely never happen, just the mutually acknowledged idea that it is a possibility is making my cock throb, my anus flutter and my mind race.

So last night when I awoke at 3 am I set myself up for an MMO session. I got five minutes of pleasant flutters but not enough worth staying up for. It sometimes happens that a session goes no where. So I fell back to sleep until six AM.

That three hour sleep was infiltrated by an explicit dream of N and I meeting in that location she mentioned last week. I had been chatting with her late last night so it wasn’t surprising that I dreamt of her. What was surprising was the lucid detail of the sexual relations we had in the dream.

At the resolution of the sexy dream with N, I awoke with an iron bar erection and a fire of desire pulsing deep in my anus. Thoughts of N nude in my bed in a hotel room legs open exposing her sweet quim to my eyes, mouth and especially my erect cock set a powerful MMO in motion. I rolled onto my stomach and rested my cockhead on the mattress. In a millisecond the MMO detonated with a hard spasm of my anus sending a tsunami of erotic pleasure up my anal tract making my prostate and cock harden and simultaneously convulse and pump hot sweet ecstasy.

During the next hour the kaleidoscopic visions of N and I in bed illicitly probing each other and coaxing rolling waves of sexual euphoria from quivering pussy and pulsing cock. In a panoramic vision, I fantasized my mouth nestled between her pussy lips as my tongue massaged her clit and probed the tangy mouth of her cunt. My fingers massaged the quivering orgasmic opening of her pussy as I suckled her clit. That vision morphed into her suckling my nipples and massaging my prostate with her finger and then abandoning my nipple for my cock. The vision culminated with my long rigid cock buried in her soft sodden pussy, probing the depth of her desire and prying shuddering orgasm after shuddering orgasm from her as I kissed her eventually ending in my cock hurling ropes of my sweet cream into the pit of her cunt.

The transition from one erotic scene to the next in my mind propelled the MMO to and excruciating state of ecstasy. Just as I thought I could endure no more pleasure the images of N twisting in the agony of orgasm in my mind pushed the pleasure to unimaginable heights. I felt the orgasm reaching deep into my anus and squeezing and tugging on my prostate and anal tract as my pelvis convulsed in violent euphoria. My cock was lurching as hard contractions pulled on my cock root; I felt the warm stream of pre cum oozing from my cockhead.

Then as I was sure I was going to pass out the last topic of the evenings chat with N flooded into my mind, of being pegged by her as she wore a dildo harness. I could swear I felt that long cock sinking deep into my asshole. Every nerve on my body was on edge, the pleasure spasms could not increase and they could not speed up. So for the second time this week I reached orgasmic nirvana as my anus and cock froze at the apex of an intense contraction, sending an uninterrupted hum of desperate orgasmic pleasure to reverberate through out my body. I gasped as I struggled to support the immense weight of the rapture that was burning inside of me. For five minutes I lay there as orgasm tortured me and tested my ability to endure the purest and most exhilarating sexual sensation.

And then, as before the spasm collapsed and it was over.

I knew then and I know now that N and I will never share that moment. However I appreciate the fantasy that was so close to being real in my mind that it built a bridge between the real and the forbidden without making me cross it.

Anyone who has read this blog knows that relative to J’s sexuality my erotic mind is attuned to her vagina and breasts; I am probably no different than most guys in that respect. With guys I really love to admire cockheads, but with my lovely lady it is her tits and cunt that do me in.

So it was last night at 8 PM as I was writing my blog entry on the erotic responsiveness of J’s nipples I found myself ruminating about the beauty and eroticism of the female breast and hers in particular. The more I thought about it, the more turned on I became. This is not an unusual occurrence; I am always turned on when I write blog entries. This time it was a little different thought as I was delving into my psyche to describe a feminine attribute that is at the top of the list for my arousal. At 9:30 PM my cock was hard and my sensual mind was warmed up and craving more. So I did something I haven’t done in years, I did a tmblr search for erotic photos; the search was to find sites under breasts and milfs and combinations of the two. I haven’t done a porn search on line for a couple of years, I usually prefer my own thoughts of sexual things I do to photos of women. But for some reason I had a craving last night that demanded satisfaction, so I searched.

I found several sites that fed the lust that was gnawing at me, only making it more ferocious than it was. The beauty of the women in the photos and the allure of their figures was magnified by the sensual appeal of their tits. From 9:30 to 11:30 I poured over the images fanning the flames of my arousal. By 11:30 PM the pleasant ache of arousal was pulsing deep in my anal canal; in sympathy the core of my cock shaft and my cock root were tingling and throbbing.

When I got in the shower as I washed my penis and balls the warm slick stimulation of my shaft sent vibrations of desire throughout my body. It was all I could do to keep from stroking my cock to hurl cum to combine with the stream of water that was warming my skin. Emerging from the warmth of the shower I grabbed the safety razor and shaved my balls and cock, lifting my sac to carefully remove the hair from underneath it where it joined to my perineum. I love how sensitive my sac and penis are they are shaved; little did I know that later I would be grateful I had rendered my junk extra sensitive.In a matter of minutes I was in bed reading; J came up a few minutes after me and she was soon in bed next to me. We kissed and turned the lights out.

I am usually a back sleeper to start the night but for some reason last night I slept on my right side spooning J. As we pulled the covers up I slid in behind her and put my arm around her. She was wearing a dorm shirt that came mid way down her thighs. My cock was pressed between us against the fabric covered cleft in her derriere. She felt so sensuous and warm against me that my semi erection went to full hardness in minutes; my prostate gently throbbed lodging its approval of my sleeping position. I might have been tempted to launch at that moment but sleep claimed me before my sex drive could assert itself.

Little did I know that as I fell asleep the next 9 hours were to be possibily the most pleasure filled nine hours of my life.

At 1AM I awoke from a dozing light sleep. My arousal was making it difficult to sleep. I was still up against J’s softness with my erection under her dorm shirt wedged into her butt crack. My anus was fluttering and my cock was twitching in the early stages of launching; it was earlier than my usual session time. I usually wait for 4 AM or thereabouts; however I was not about to refuse pleasure that was desperately trying to gain a grip on my anal canal.

I slowly breathed into the spasms that were flexing my anus; as I fed them more oxygen they rewarded me by sending modest sensation of pre orgasmic pleasure up into my anal tract. Each breath I took emboldened the spasms to create a little more pleasure and make my anus open and close as it gulped at the sensations that it was being fed. In a few minutes the level of that pleasure was sufficient enough to turn the sensations to wave like ripples of sexual delight that hardened my prostate and made it pump erratically, like an antique car sputtering when it was started cold.

Once the spasms were firm enough to stand on their own, I backed away from J and lay on my stomach with my cock between my abdomen and the mattress. The soft cotton sheet offered just enough friction to stimulate my frenular cleft so that the erotic pleasure was now coming to my prostate from two different directions (my anus and penis). The ripples of pleasure rolled into me and converged on my prostate, squeezing it tenderly. The dual impact made my prostate detonate with exquisite orgasms and aftershocks every five to ten seconds. Over the course of an hour I cajoled the orgasms to sustain themselves through breathing, nipple stim, and erotic fantasy.

The hour flew by. The orgasms came and passed in peaks and valleys. I attempted to keep a clear mind and breathe underneath the orgasms to keep them resonating as they exploded and sent echoes of bliss down to my cock root, cock head and back to my anus. I climbed the hills of the orgasmic roller coaster trying to remain relaxed as I savored the escalating pleasurable tension that was gripping my prostate and tugging on it gently and then relishing the deliriously sweet convulsive it provided ride down the other side of the pleasure wave as the orgasm reached deeply into my anus and sucked ecstasy from my anal canal..

Somehow at the end of that hour I drifted off to sleep again. When I awoke it was an hour later. I was still face down on the mattress. Again I slid over to J and wedged my throbbing hard cock into her derriere which was now fully exposed as her dorm shirt had shucked up. The gentle pulsing in my anus whispered that orgasm would soon happen; the pulses were gently throbbing but the did not detonate into convulsive ecstasy as my cockhead sipped the sensuous heat of her anus. Putting my warm hand on her bare tummy and breathing rapidly in time to the quiet pulsing of my prostate ignited my orgasmic flame. I breathed carefully behind the pulsing to not over power it; it is very much like blowing on embers to start a fire. Then my prostate began convulsing; subtly at first but getting firmer and firmer with each breath.

After a few minutes the convulsing evened out to a slow rhythmic pumping. It was like a great heavy machine pumping unimaginable pleasure throughout my body; each pounding thump shaking my body with shuddering waves of sensuous rapture. I could feel my pelvis literally shuddering with each pumping spasm as the shock waves of bliss followed the core of my cock down to my cockhead. Carefully and ginger I gently breathed into the pumping spasms and projected fantasies of fucking N passionately driving my big cock in and out that her pretty cunt I had seen on cam over the last two years or delicately performing cunnilingus on A’s dripping pussy, driving her wild as I coaxed her to a trembling crescendo that made her sing her rapture.

After 30 minutes I rolled over and lay on my back away from J with my cock laying on my belly dripping pre cum from the volleys of orgasms that were echoing inside of me. The waves of orgasms slowed to gentle pulsing as I lay there, and their profoundly pleasurable echoes turned to barely audible erotic murmurs.

I dipped my fingers in the pool of precum on my belly and brought my fingers up to my nipples and spred my honey on them as I breathed into the spasms again. Like pouring gasoline on a fire the breathing and the slippery stimulation of my erect nubs ignited the pumping again. But this time with no pressure on my cockhead my prostate swelled up to absorb the pleasure that had previous been shared my cock. The desperate sensation of orgasm had not place to go but my prostate, excruciating pleasure was building up in my anal canal. I tried to deny it the opportunity to express itself and blew the warm breath of my passion gently on it, teasing and taunting it. The lust shuddered and rattled in its confinement, urgently trying to make its presence known. Finally it broke loose and opened my anus to let a massive orgasm into me. I was being filled by a torrent of agonizing ecstasy. My body stiffened as one volley after another of ecstatic bells peeled deep inside of me, filling my body with their resonant vibrations. Chills went up my spine and the inside of my legs tingled as the carillon of rapture rang and rang and rang in my pelvis.

It was after five AM when fatigue won out and I fell back to sleep. It was almost 7 AM when I woke again with a raging erection and the need to pee. I stumbled out of bed and negotiated my way into the backroom. My cock was so hard I couldn’t sit on the toilet and get it between my legs and I couldn’t stand and bend it down to aim. In desperation I leaned against the sink and peed in the sink, apologizing in my mind to J that I was doing this and promising myself I would scrub it later on in the morning.

Pointing myself back to the bedroom I wandered back to bed and flopped in with the intent of going back to sleep; but my cock had other ideas. The warm hardness of MMO inspired arousal deep inside my asshole was taunting me. I covered up and rolled over on my side letting my cock touch the mattress. As soon as my cockhead felt the warm kiss of the sheets it was as if someone turned on a switch. My cockhead, cock root, penile bulb and prostate began to involuntarily pump hard in unison with the cadence of a metronome. The synchronicity of the involuntary pumping created such an intensely pleasurable sensation I had to stifle a gasp in my pillow.

Recalling a comment some time ago from a reader who challenged me to let my orgasms take me wherever they wanted me to go, and not resist them I decided to cast all control aside. I would feed this heightened arousal that it had taken me all night to build just to see where it would take me. So following the cadence of the pumping spasms with supportive breathing and a hard pinching grasp on my left nipple I imagined the orgasm grabbing me by the cock an pulling me along. I fought to relax my anus so that it would realize the full pleasure of tensing and releasing.

To my amazement for almost an hour the pumping spasms never stopped. I followed them and fed them lurid thoughts, fantasies and images. Regardless of whether my mind wandered or not they continued with such deep sweet bliss that I felt like a erotic clockworks ticking off time with the most pleasurable ticking orgasmic convulsions imaginable. I was fully wound and my ecstatic clockworks would not stop. As time passed I felt myself losing my will and my bodily control. Orgasmic rapture was filling me displacing all other sensations and thoughts and saturating my body with heavy erotic sensation.

J stirred next to and returned me to reality for a moment. Realizing she was there and recalling the agonizing bliss of her doing oral on me as I MMOed in her mouth, I wondered what the sensation of this thumping pleasure would be if I spooned her and held her.

So awkwardly I rolled over to her and rested my pulsing cock on her thigh and my inner thigh of my left leg on top of her thighs. I then slid my hand under her shirt and caressed her breast in my hand. The effect was instantaneous. The cadence of my anguished pumping pleasure speeded up an amplified in intensity. In a matter of minutes the spaces between the pumping waves disappeared and my cock and anus and prostate locked in the grip of the most exquisite sustained spasm of ecstasy I have ever experienced. It was like being electrocuted by orgasm. I trembled as a power much greater than anything I had ever experienced in this MMO journey pulsed ruthlessly through me. The erotic energy made my skin tingle and my prostate, cock and balls sing a sustained crescendo that and propelled me into a state of euphoria that was so eloquently sensuous and spiritual it defies description..

The intensity of the orgasm was so profound I trembled and quivered as the jackhammer spasms pounded on my prostate. It was unavoidable that I would wake J up. She asked I was ok; I a moaned that I was, just let me be. She knew in an instant what was happening, she has seen me in deep MMO; so she embraced me as I orgasmed repeatedly on her thigh. I was in held suspended in the tender mercies of anguished rapture gripping her like she was a life buoy and I was going to be drowned in my own pleasure.

After ten minutes the orgasm released me. I felt like a piece of mashed up fruit pulp; I had leaked a stream of pre cum on J’s thigh. My cock was rock hard and I lay there exhausted from the night’s escapades.

Again I fell asleep, but this time only for a half hour. I woke up to something that I could only dream of years ago when our kids were small and life was hectic . . . . J playing with my erect cock. She teased it tickled it and ran her finger up and down the shaft with the delicacy of a butterfly landing on an orchid. She dipped her finger in the stream of precum drooling from my cock slit and painted my cleft with it. The delicate touch of her finger tip on that cleft, the most sensitive skin on my body made my cock lurch.

Then reaching over for the bottle of clear liquid in the nightstand next to the bed, she applied a stripe of the slippery lube on my steeled penis. Then getting up and straddling my hips she opened her pussy lips and lowered her body so that her pussy opening kissed the shaft of my cock and her clit was nestled in my frenular cleft. Then laying down on me she proceeded to hump me, rubbing her clit on my cock head and kissing me.

My prostate went mad shuddering and quivering and my cock was paralyzed at the agonizingly blissful stimulation . The more she rubbed the more insane for release I became. I began to parry the humping of her pelvis with the thrusting of my own against her. I slid my cock shaft back and forth across her clit like my cock was a bow playing an exquisite cello. We danced together, pelvis to pelvis cunt to cock humping to the music only we could hear.

As we danced she spread the cream of her lust on my cock shaft; the sliding of my cock against her pussy opening was making squishing noises. I hoarsely groaned that I was cumming as I spurted a whole nights collected cum all over her pussy opening. The slippery vulgar cream that I had injected on her pussy mouth made my cock a very slippery runway for her clit. So as my cock softened she rubbed her clit hard against it until she stiffened and shuddered and embraced me as orgasm drilled into her sodden pussy.

I really had fully intended to post my entry on J breasts but clearly after I got up at 9 PM and considered that I had just been from the most orgasmic 9 hours of my life I had no choice but to bump the breast entry and post this.

I don’t have the money of Bill Gates or the power and prestige of a millionaire, but I have something that none of them has…experiences like the one I just had. I am so lucky.

The fact that I could read a guys description (in this case a gay guy) of his arousal and the visceral response that he felt in reading about a man giving pleasure to a woman, struck me as profound. The fact that it coaxed my cock to erection reinforced what my response to him was. This is what I said:

One of the things that has come from my rewiring is the abandonment of labels; gay, straight, curious …they are all fabricated labels. In the end as men we are all sexual beings; unfortunately society forces us to segregate and separate all things sensual. I see tenderness and warm intimacy in two guys kissing and fondling each others cocks just as much as I see that same tenderness in a man and a woman kissing and fondling a cock and vagina. We all see eroticism in the sensual things around us. I don’t make excuses for it. I celebrate it.”

The response made me think of my limited experience with sexual intimacy man to man.

Not very long ago I had an experimental liaison with a guy. It was well planned culminating in a weekend together. The anticipation unfolded in a meeting of two curious guys coming to grips with their interest in homoerotic intimacy.

We met in person for the first time as we agreed to meet in the hotel lobby when we checked in. He was 20 years younger than I with a taut lithe body and a very large cock that I had seen in photos exchanged on line. We agreed to share a hotel room. That initial meeting was at night; when we greeted each other I was immediately struck at how good looking and shy he was. That sense was amplified later in our room as clothes were shed and the awkwardness of my cock being stone hard as I revealed it to him; I was embarrassed and turned on to show myself to him. My arousal was inflamed even further by seeing his beautiful long thick cock in person. When we hugged nude the first time and I felt his cock against my abdomen, the reality and intimate nature of what were about to do was driven home. This was the first time I had ever touched a naked man, had a guys cock in my mouth and felt him spill his hot cum in my mouth as I sucked it from his cock slit. It was the only time I ever slept intimately naked with a guy.

The most intimate thing however was getting into bed together nude and sleeping together. I was so turned on sleep was extremely difficult. But I did fall asleep eventually.

After sleeping for a few hours I awoke in the dim glow of early morning; the awkwardness was gone, all I knew was the warm sexy body next to me. Despite several ejaculations together the evening before I still couldn’t get enough of him; it was so incredibly erotic to be in bed with him, I was hard and ready to cum again as soon as I woke up. I reached over to his tight body to feel the smooth skin of this sexy mans stomach as he lay quietly half awake. I began to stroke his belly button tenderly and sweep my hands up to his nipples to toggle and pinch them. He was now awake and immobilized by the exquisite sensation of my exploring hand on the skin of his stomach, and chest teasing him and stirring his arousal. I knew that he longed to feel my warm hand caress his rigid penis as I toyed with his nipples and tugged them. Then I slowly traced the path from his nipples to his belly button to his rigid cock and let my hand dwell on his cockhead, warming it under my palm and drawing the precum up his shaft.
Caressing his cockhead gently and running my middle finger up and down his frenular cleft I made his cock dance and lurch. After provoking it and teasing it I calmed it by patting it tenderly. Then taking the girth of his shaft in my grip and gently squeezing it, I expressed clear sweet pre cum from his cock slit. Gingerly I jelked his shaft to milk all the pre cum I could from him. Collecting it on two fingers I brought his clear sweet honey to my tongue and tasted him. The taste of his precum only amplified the arousal and my intimate connection to him that was now saturating my mind.

I reached back down between his thighs as he parted them and I tenderly caressed his balls. In the heat of the bed they hung loose in the palm of my hand. Men are taught to be so macho and tough yet the sheer act of trust me, shedding his sense of vulnerability and allowing me to relish his warm delicate balls in my hand and having him lay there legs spread for my caress was one of the most intimate experiences I had ever had with another human bring. My cock is getting hard and my slit is dripping now just recalling it.

He laid there and let me feel him up and fondle him for a long time. The warmth and the erotic intimacy he felt having his aroused cock and warm balls fondled and loved under the covers made his precum stream. Pulling the covers off both of us I lowered my mouth the the clear sweet stream drooling from his long hard manhood. I sipped the sweet clear passion from his cock slit and savored it on my tongue. I then engulfed his swollen cockhead in my mouth and locked my lips behind the ridge of his cockhead, sucking him as I massaged his cleft with my rough tongue.

But before he spilled his hot cream on my tongue I dropped his engorged penis from my mouth. It fells on his abdomen with a flop. I got on my knees and swung my leg over his hips to straddle him. Our dripping cocks were now only inches apart.

Caressing his shaft in my left hand I took my own stone hard cock in my right hand. Then lowering myself onto his pelvis my balls rested on his as I held our cockheads together. Our frenular clefts kissed, I dripped my copious precum on him. The feeling of his slippery cockhead on mine was exquisite.

Then holding our shafts parallel and touching I made a circle with my hand and put both our cockheads in my grip. He sighed and moaned as I began to hump my cock against his, rubbing my own cleft back and forth across his made him gasp and moan. The pleasure of slippery cock flesh rubbing together only enhanced both our arousals. The precum was now pulsing from both our cockheads filling my fist with a passionate cocktail that was a blend of our mutual growing desire.

As I drew my cock back and forth across his engorged mushroom cleft he stiffened and moaned in the desperate climb to release. The friction of cockhead to cockhead pushed him over the edge and opened the gates of his orgasm. He thrust his pelvis up against my perineum as he strained to empty his balls. Holding our cockheads together he spewed a thick stream of white cum into the palm of my upturned hand. Each successive pumping spurt shot a stream of cum into the growing pool in my palm. His cum was thick and white and very very hot. It was so sexy to be holding a guys cum in my palm. Witnessing his fevered ejaculation and holding his cock as he rhythmically pumped his cum for me was incredibly erotic. I watched him dump his sweet cream into my palm pushed me closer to my own release.

Temporarily releasing his cock from my grip I dipped his cockhead into the pool of his warm cum in my palm; I then encircled his cockhead with my cum filled palm, spreading his cream all over his cock shaft and crown. The sight of a guy ejaculating is just as erotic for me as seeing a woman twisting and mewling as orgasm forces her pussy open and makes her perineum and anus twitch rhythmically as sweet pleasure drills into her hapless cunt. Holding his cum seemed to be such a privilege.

So as I held his cum coated cock in my left hand I put my middle finger of my right hand under my cleft. I began to stroke my own turgid penis as I held my cock slit down against the cleft under his cockhead. His cum provided the most incredible lube on my cock, stimulating me to cum quickly. In a matter of seconds I released and spewed my own cream all over his cum glazed cockhead.

The sight of me regurgitating my passion milk and on another guy’s cock and mixing it with his cum only strengthened the ferocity of my ejaculation and drained my balls dry. After I emptied my load all over his cock I collapsed next to him.

Post orgasmic intimacy is just as sweet and warm with a guy as it is with a woman.

The weekend was one pleasurable erotic discovery after another. It was as intimate and sensual as any sexual connection with a woman that I have ever had. It was after that weekend that I decided to shed labels and consider myself a sexual person.

However, I remain dedicated to J and our heterosexual relationship. But I have tasted the sexual intimacy that a man can provide and I am glad I did. I put no labels on it.

I was reading an article in the most recent issue on human sexual desires and society. It said in the article that on the average, men think about sex every five minutes. As I read that factoid I thought to myself, gee they must have surveyed a bunch of slackers to arrive at that figure. I think about sex constantly!!!! Well maybe I am overstating it by using the word sex; I should say that I see the world and people around me through a lens of sensuality non stop.

I am not a sex fiend !!!! LOL The reason I can say that I think of sex all the time is that there are several dimensions to my sexuality and they all fit together like some grand sensual jigsaw puzzle; there are no gaps.

What does it mean to me to be a sexual man? For me it is the six E’s: Emotional Elation, Erotic Euphoria and Exhilarating Erection.

When I began my sexual discovery journey 17 years ago, I began walking a path that was totally unknown to me. In the beginning of the journey I read numerous books, attended seminars, did meditative retreats and did a lot of introspection. I delved into Zen, Kundalini Yoga, ESO (extended male orgasm), female sexual response and eventually MMO (male multiple orgasm). I struggled with MMO but eventually I got it. My progress was incremental but after six months I gained the skill to have prostate orgasms. With prostate orgasms under my belt (pun intended) the process of my rewiring began. Rewiring changed my sexual response and it changed my erotic life. As I continued down the path in they years following my P orgasm achievement I came to realize the dimensions of my sexuality could be explained in six E’s. So here is my take on what makes me tick sexually.

Emotional Elation: This is a special bond that exists between J and I. Despite all the other dimensions of my sexual nature I only have this connection with her. It is a bond of love, communication, admiration, shared experience, intimacy and trust. The love for her flowed from me the first time I saw her 42 years ago. I guess you could say it was love at first sight. I admire the things in her that I am not. The partnership of the last 40 years of marriage and kids and health issues and financial trials were not easy; some couples get pushed apart by adversity we were pushed together. Trust in the context of sexuality for J is shedding her vulnerability and reservations and being overtly sexual with me.

Trust in this context is laying back in a room illuminated by candles and parting her legs to not only display her aroused pussy to me but also caressing my face and bringing my lips to her own pussy lips swollen with desire and oozing the cream of her passion. It means allowing me to drink the cream from her flesh cup and tease her rigid pink pearl as I probe her gaping pussy hole with a finger reaching into her most secret place to stroke her trigger spot as I suckle her clit. As her crescendo builds it is the vulgar elegance of her thrusting her pelvis in a lewd dance as she intones a string of filthy descriptions of what I am doing and what a dirty woman she is until her show culminates in a shuddering back arching explosion deep in her pussy that makes her sweet nectar get squeezed from her quivering pussy lips like juice from a ripe fruit in an erotic press.

As she performs her lurid orgasmic dance for me it turns me on to the nth degree. Cunnilingus is my favorite intimate activity between us. But it is not just her sensation of sexual ecstasy that inflames me, it is my particpation in and my instigation of her rapture that also arouses me.

When I am standing at the edge of our bed between her parted legs with my passion swollen cock’s mushroom head lodged in her swolllen pink pussy mouth, dripping with her pre cum, it coats my cock head, and drips down my shaft. Her hot pussy lips kiss the drooling slit in my cock. The sweet kiss intoxicates me; her pussy mouth seems to sip the precum from my slit even as it drools its own need. I look down at the lush down covered pussylips I am about to penetrate. I focus on the sensuality of her body and the mysterious elegance of her dewy pussy in arousal as it is being forced open and swallow my cockhead and shaft.

I am turned on as I look into her eyes in the moment that I lean forward and gently push my hard, hot cock into her pussy mouth, forcing her lips to open and swallow it. I relish watching her opening stretch as she arche her back and thrusts up to be to hasten her impaling. As the desperate sensation of penetration soothes her aching cunt ripples of divine elation roll through her pelvis. As her pussy swallows my long love probe she looks at me with adoration .

As I slide my lust engorged cock in and out of her opened pussy mouth I am overwhelmed by the hot caress of her sodden pussy canal on my cock. It seems to tantalize my cockhead imploring and coaxing it to regurgitate my creamy lust in her. It is like a warm milking machine that is tugging and sucking at my engorged penis; she knows how to draw my man milk from my balls and hold and soothe my orgasm frenzied cock in the warm caress of her pussy as it frantically pumps my lust cocktail into her.

As I hurl the rope of my cum into her, the hot liquid pulsing and the deeply gratifying sensation of my pulsing cock deep in her pushes her over the precipice of orgasmic rapture. As her pussy succumbs to her orgasm I look into her eyes to see the look of adoration has transformed to a look of confused elation; the ecstasy that is now drilled hard into her soft pussy contorts her face as ecstasy explodes in ther pit of her cunt. The echoes of orgasm realized make the sweet euphoria of erotic bliss reverberate throughout her body like resonant chimes. I am so grateful that she adores me enough to show me her uncontrolled convulsive ecstasy as it fills her pussy and makes her lose control of her demure properness and become a feminine sexual animal.

I experience sensual eroticism and intimate connection with J in a very deep and shared emotional way. Although I say I fuck her in this blog, fucking is now a mutual activity. She fucks me as much as I fuck her when we have penis in vagina sex. I am hyper aware of the warm caress of her pussy on my cock when I am deep inside her and I relish that connection with her.

Erotic Euphoria: This is a dimension of my sexuality that I experience in doing multiple male orgasms or MMO’s. As I said earlier, MMO’s were the turning point in my sexuality. They rewired me, made me a sensual man and they opened the doors to the mind to body link of my sexual response. I learned the role that breathing, fantasy, erogenous zones and orgasmic trigger points played in my newfound sexual response. I learned that wet ejaculative orgasms felt different than non ejaculative orgasms.

I discovered that self induced non penetrative MMO’s were different than penetrative ones achieved through prostate massage through my anus by a massager or J’s finger stroking my pulsing prostate lovingly. Orgasms from massage are intense and hard and there is friction involved, so after 40 minutes or so even with the best lube I need to stop. I would seldom do a massager session for more than an hour. Self induced non penetrative orgasms are not only mellower but they resonate much longer and they are sweeter. Their pleasure builds slower but it is exponentially more pleasurable. I have learned to have self induced MMO sessions that now last for 2 hours or more.

My experience of MMO is very inward focused. When I am floating in waves of relentless ecstasy my awareness of the world around me shuts down and I become laser focused on the revelation of kaleidoscopic pleasure that permeates my body and flexes my anus and tugs at the root of my cock and balls. The echo of euphoria from cascading orgasms caresses my body and taunts my mind to experience more pleasure and more arousal, pushing me higher and higher and testing my ability to cope with agonizing ecstasy. As I MMO precum oozes from my cock like sweet sap dripping from a thick maple trunk in the warm spring sun.

I have learned to guide my pleasure waves guide me to a quiet warm place where I am enshrouded from head to toes with ecstasy in its purest most erotic form. In this deeply sexual and sensual place the flames of orgasm lick my body warming me and making spasmic bursts of sexual energy explode deep in my rectum, my cock root, my nipples and my anus like popcorn in a popper. Each convulsive pleasurable explosion brings a sense of sparkling sexual delight over me as it cloaks me in erotic euphoria.

I have awoken erogenous spots in my body that were sleeping or non existent in my youth. I have learned to connect my thoughts to those sweet spots to maximize the sexual pleasure I feel. I now experience sensations of unbelievable sexual bliss in my cock root and prostate as they pump rapid fire ripples of exquisite sexual bliss for up to an hour at a time. My nipples, anus and the root and penile bulb of my cock have become intensely hyper sensitized in my orgasmic experience. I am now anally orgasmic; in arousal my anal tract tingles and aches with desire, pleading fro orgasmic pleasure. An hour long session elevates my arousal to the point that I have whole body orgasms.

My arousal after MMO is amplified and it is almost constant. This doesn’t mean that I am having constant erections that Viagra ads warn you about. Because my entire body has been sexually rewired, I experience arousal much more expansively than I used to. Arousal in the past was like a trumpet blaring 10 feet away from me, screaming a shrill desperate need. Now my arousal is like a french horn sweetly and in mellow refrains intoning an alluring melody that soothes my erotic mind as it tantalizes my sexual arousal. Sometimes that means a stone hard cock, or a throbbing anus or tingling nipples.

This arousal that I feel after MMO is the one that is almost constant. If fucking J or having MMO’s are the bricks that are my sexuality, then the lingering arousal that results from MMO is the mortar that holds the bricks together. I is the post MMO arousal that leaves no gaps in my sexual thoughts all day.

Exhilarating Erection: This is the dimension of my arousal that results when I am caressing and kissing J with no intent of fucking her or doing oral on her. It may also result from having sexually charged chat sharing personal experiences with a male or female friend on line. It may come from a shared on line fantasy with a friend in IM.

As a result of erotic stimuli I will feel a hunger that manifests itself by making my cock turn stone hard and feel heavy as it aches with desire. It may be tingling pins and needles or effervescent bubbles of awakening desire deep in my anal tract. It may be my anus fluttering in response to an alluring thought or erotic comment by a friend or a comment of admiration for my erection in a picture on line. My prostate will swell and throb sending waves of sweet sensation through my body. My nipples will erect and tingle and crave touch. The root of my cock and my penile bulb will pulse and pleasantly ache and feel heavy as pre cum streams from my cockslit.

But the most significant thing that has been enhanced is my mind’s perception of sexual sensation and sexuality. I look at women and men equally in sexual attractiveness now, appreciating their sexual humanity equally. I feel warmly affectionate (in a non creepy way) towards every woman I meet. I appreciate the mental / psychological aspect of a woman’s sexuality and sexual response much better now as my own experience of orgasm is parallel to a woman’s.

Arousal and sexuality for me now occurs in my mind now as much as it occurs in my body. And although I am not bisexual, I love looking at cocks and I love watching a man experience the bliss of ejaculation. My own body is in fairly decent shape, I enjoy admiring my cock in arousal. If any one is curious what I look like I may be seen at http://www.dick.net as Linghaman.

My experience of sexual pleasure is now not just ejaculation focused; I love to savor the pleasurable ache of sexual need.

Mind body connection is a huge part of my experience of arousal now. In addition to breathing and nipple stimulation, fantasy plays a huge role in my orgasmic sessions now. Those fantasies are vivid in my mind and they always involve women I know. A few weeks ago my fantasies involved a young woman I work with in a volunteer organization I am involved with. These last few weeks they have involved an on line friend I will call N. Chats with these friends on line will induce pre cum to drool from my cock. I produce precum in copious amounts.

So that is my 24/7 sexuality. It is who I am now but the path that I embarked on 17 years ago continues to reveal new things to me about who I am sexually and what the dimensions of my sexual pleasure are. This blog has been a valuable tool in the discovery process. The investment in writing helps me take stock of what I have discovered and it allows me to log in so I won’t forget what I have come to realize. It is also incredibly arousing in and of itself. My underpants are soaked as I sit here writing this as my cock is drooling warm pre cum from the erotic ruminations on the screen and in my mind. What a life!!!!

For all the hundreds of places I was in the City in those 8 years and the hundreds more that I have been there since then, there are still many, many more that I have yet to discover and visit; it’s a large city and there are thousands and thousands of neat places. Even today when I go to NYC I am always finding someplace new and exotic to experience that I have never been before.

It is the same way with my MMO’s. I have been doing massager less MMO’s for almost two years now. The last year I have been doing them just about every night. That translates to 545 sessions more or less. It continues to amaze me that each one of those sessions is distinctly different. And just like a trip to NYC , each time I get on the orgasm train I find a new stop with different sensations and a different experience of each place.

Last night (Monday night) J and I got into bed early; we were in bed at 10:30 PM. We had decided several nights ago to try and get more sleep. I was enthusiastic about an earlier lights out as that would put me in a more awake frame of mind in the early morning when I woke to do a session.

So at 3:30 AM this morning when I woke, I found myself curiously awake for my normal early morning session. Even better my cock was good and hard and my anus was hungry for orgasm. I was lying on my left side on the right side of the bed with my back to J, about a foot from the edge of the bed. I could feel the desire for MMO simmering in my anus, and tugging playfully on my cock. Each tug sent a delightful ripple up the core of my cock. I was most definitely ready to launch. So I turned my body to put my rigid penis in contact with the mattress. Pressing the underside of my cockhead against the mattress, I ignited a pleasant throbbing that rippled up my cock and deep into my anal tract. I could feel the throbbing keeping time with my pulse. Each pulsing throb seemed to amplify the erotic glow and warm sensation of the next one. I relaxed and let the throbbing take me where it wanted to take me; I floated with it.

After five minutes or so the throbbing had become intensely resonant, I could feel it driving up the core of my cock deep into me and crashing into my swelling prostate; my prostate shuddered and twitched as each pulse hit it. After a few of these twitches my prostate was enervated; it began to rhythmically pump involuntarily. To catch these highly pleasurable spasms and keep them going I breathing onto them. It was like gently blowing on the embers of a fire to make them burst into flame. Indeed the spasms hardened and intensified. I could feel my prostate stiffening in the contraction of each spasm; in counter point to the convulsion deep in my anal tract, my anus clenched and released involuntarily. The contraction of my anus set my penile bulb and the tip of my cockhead to spasm in syncopation. The entire chain of events was something like an old percolator chugging but this percolator is reverberating with deeply sensual orgasmic waves that were pumping ecstasy through my sex organs.

I swam in the thick and sensual waves that were washing inside of me, savoring their sinuous ebbs and flows and the sweet anguish that were sloshing back and forth from my anus to the tip of my cock. I feel a great conga drum pounding in time to the pumping pleasure inside of me.

After a few minutes I rolled back to my side and left my semi erect cock cantilevered out perpendicular to my abdomen, suspended in mid air under the covers. The pleasure spasms faded and died but I could feel the swelling deep inside my anal tract. My prostate felt like a golf ball it was contracted and erect. I felt like a hyped up runner on the starting line ready to do the fifty yard dash. Slowly I felt the spasms start again, this time on their own. I followed them on their seemingly careless path. They led my on that path, taking my breath away with each pulsing step I took. The pleasure spasms had gone from a 1, 2, 3 beat to a 1 ..2 ..1 ..2 beat. The spasm were getting excruciatingly hard but as hard as they were that is how sweet and blissful their echo inside of me was.

My cock shaft and cockhead went thumb as the pleasure bored into my anus. The spasms were now bouncing between my anus and prostate pulsing sympathetically with my penile bulb. I focused on this new pattern and breathed into it to support it. As I was breathing I felt for my nipples; they were turgid, hot and swollen with desire. I latched onto them pinched them between my thumbs and fore fingers and squeezed them gently. It felt like the squeeze squirted gasoline onto a fire. The orgasmic spasms and the pumping of my prostate speeded up and my legs stiffened as I felt a long hard orgasm get shoved into my anus. I cringed as I felt its hot desire invade my asshole. I felt like I was being impaled by my own orgasm. I struggled to breathe and stay on the wave.

A half an hour had passed. The orgasmic spasms had warmed my junk up. Everything was humming and pulsing gently in the momentary lapse between pleasure waves. It was hard to hold back.

I rolled onto my back and parted my legs and began to diddle my nipples with my index fingers as I breathed deeply and fully. As the Santa Anna winds whip a forest fire into a frenzy my orgasmic spasms roared to life. As I felt the power of these spasms taking hold of me I began to fantasize. I thought of a female friend here on the internet that I often chat with. I conjured up images of us sharing a bed naked, stoking each other and kissing and getting each other so worked up were as frenzied as I actually felt at that moment. In a burst of unrestrained passion I mounted her and shoved my long hard cock deep into her cunt making her scream in pleasure pain. I fucked her fervently, making her bellow as my cock made her orgasm explode in her. I imagined my cock deep in her pussy my cockhead bathed in her orgasmic slime and my thick sticky hot cum. I envisioned eating her post orgasmic cream pie and making her cum again oozing our cocktail from her convulsing pussy mouth. The image made my pumping spasm beat double time. My now flaccid cock was resting on my balls and rhythmically pumping a seemingly relentless stream of pre cum onto my balls.

I lay immobilized relishing the spasms which were now a steady single beat. I felt like the elegantly feminine hand of my orgasm was deep in my anal tract, stretching open my asshole on her forearm. Her warm hand was alternating squeezing my prostate and tugging on it mercilessly sucking orgasms from it over and over again. Each tugging squeeze sent paroxysms of erotic rapture to shoot up to my brain. I could feel the pool of precum under my ass growing.

Again I refocused on my lady friend in my fantasy. I was caressing her and then I was suckling her clit and MMOing in her ass crack as I spooned her and massaged her tits. A thunderous rapid fire set of orgasmic spasms detonated inside of me. My anus, balls, perineum and penile bulb all seemed to be caressed by a mysterious feminine force. It blew warmly in my ear and coxed me to give in.

I felt the warm secure embrace of my mistress’s imaginary hands on my balls. I breathed slowly and struggled to relax my anus and anal tract. I toggled my nipples again and felt the waves begin. Slowly the spasms worked towards a crescendo. In the milliseconds before the cascade of orgasms I felt my balls tighten and my anus clench for a flash of a moment. Then everything let go. The great pumping orgasmic drum inside of me pounded and pulsed as a spike of pure sexual bliss was shoved up my asshole right through my body. My mouth was forced open as the passion hardened spike pierced my gut and forced my mouth open in a silent scream. Hard cruel rapture inducing spasms cascaded from deep inside my asshole.

I lay on my back on the bed, my back arched and my legs tensed and stiff as the orgasmic waves pounded me again and again and squeezed my junk in syncopated rhythm. For uncountable minutes I was a pebble on the beach in a ferocious storm; the waves pounded me tossing me about in a wash of foamy bliss.

I had been at this for almost an hour. I needed to pee something fierce. I was afraid if I didn’t go the next spasm might force me to pee in the bed. So reluctantly I got up and leaned towards the bathroom. Standing up the pleasure waves receded and a sense of normalcy returned. My slimy precum was drooling from my cockhead; I tried to catch it in my palm as I walked to avoid leaving a trail on the rug. I sat on the toilet and released a rush of pee in the toilet. I leaned my head in my hands and collected my thoughts. I assured myself that it was over and I could steal another 2 hours of sleep before the radio went off.

So I went back to bed and climbed in again. J was on her back, her tee shirt up around her tits. She is so sexy in a tee shirt and I love that they leave her virtually naked in bed. So I sidled up to her and put my leg over her upper thighs. The sensitive skin of my own inner thighs felt the bulge of her vulva and the tickle of the downy hair that covered it. My cock had begun to stiffen as the arousal deep inside of me overpowered the orgasmic spasms that fooled my cock into thinking it had cum and made it go soft.

The sensation of my frenular cleft pressing on her warm skin opened my anus for invasion. As assurances that I was done were washed away by sensations of exquisite sensation organizing I surrendered. Slowly I breathed and relaxed as totally as I could. In a silent whisper to my orgasmic mistress I told her to take me. With my hand caressing J’s warm breast my mistress coyly slid her hand into my anus. I clung to my sweet J as mysterious and wicked feminine sensuality reached deep into my asshole to grope at the swollen source of my pleasure. However this time instead of taunting me to orgasm she teased me and was gently stroking my prostate, blowing the warm breath of her feminine desire on it, and coaxing it to swell. shudder and quiver to her tender mercies.

Instead of convulsing in agonizingly sweet spasms my prostate began to pulse gently and radiate erotic warmth that seemed to soak through my body. Slowly the warmth spread and sensations of anguished ecstasy quietly screamed inside of me. My nipples hardened and erected, my perineum tightened as I felt divine pressure push in on my golden spot. My skin tingled and a long lugubrious chime of rapture rang inside of me with the subtle pealing of agonizing pleasure.

The orgasm wrapped around my entire body, swaddling me to be reborn, soothing me and singing a warm song of euphoria that washed all thoughts of resistance from my mind . In a thunderous rush I was thrust into a quiet warm still place that permeated my body and touched places in me that I never knew were there. As the fingers of this blissful sensation reached into me my brain was overwhelmed by white hot soft rapture.

In the haze of pure unadulterated pleasure I felt I was able to gather my wits to consider a rational thought. In the slow motion euphoric bliss that held me I reasoned that I had been carried to see the face of Nirvana.

I hung in this deeply sensual excruciatingly soft state of ecstasy for a couple of minutes. I savored it and drank it in as deeply as I could. I didn’t want to leave. I tried to stay as long as I could but slowly she released me and I was back on earth lying next to the lady I love. I had drooled a stream of precum onto her thigh that ran onto the sheets.

I was amazed I hadn’t woken her. I lay there and let sleep claim me for the hour until my alarm would go off.

I had just found a new neighborhood. I am not sure I could find my way there again; it’s a big complicated city.

It has been odd this week. Usually when I am stressed as I was this week, sex becomes a great safety valve to relieve that stress; I usually can’t get enough sexual interaction and orgasms to suit my mental state. For some reason this week the exact opposite has been true, the stress has been a huge distraction for sex, I have been unable to focus on it or have any quality orgasms. I have attempted MMO sessions, discouragingly the best ones have been mediocre and several times the sensations were just orgasmic hiccups that fizzled. I suspect that fatigue is a big part of it. J and I had been more than a week since any sexual interaction other than a kiss and a cuddle in bed. Mind you however, those cuddles were very nice.

So when I walked in on Friday night with the finish line in sight and a comfort level that I would be alright it was as if someone pulled a cork out of my toe to let all the stress of the month drain out of my body. I felt light and giddy when I came home.

It was a very relaxed evening. The customary after dinner coffee on the couch was particularly laid back and calm. With the weight of worry off my shoulders I could focus on the weekend and J and my time together. It was nice.

We sat on the long couch in the kitchen, me against the arm and she sitting between my legs leaning her back on my chest as we watched our normal Friday night political shows. Ten minutes into them we both agreed that the dysfunctional political condition of the country was not where our heads were at. Instead we opted for a concert on one of the pbs channels that was being rebroadcast from earlier in the week; we had missed it then and were glad to catch it.

The concert matched our somewhat contemplative moods. It was very soothing. As the music lulled my mind into a complacently restive state I became very aware of J sitting between my legs. I felt the pleasant weight of her upper body on my chest. My coffee cup emptied, I put it on the floor next to me and wrapped my arms around her chest and held her. The softness of her breasts rested under my forearms.

After all these years and maybe because of all these years holding her like that does mysterious things to me. The emotions that permeated me as I held her caused a profound peace to wash over me, relaxing my legs and arms and particularly calming my mind. But at the same time the sensual bond I have with her was putting my body at peace it was stiffening my cock.

Over the years I have come to realize that there is a phenomenon of opposites that makes certain experiences resonate with me. A simple example is the piquant sweet and sour in certain foods, or more emotionally it can be a particularly beautiful sight like a sunset when I am feeling profound sadness or loss. Friday night as I sat on the couch embracing my special lady I felt this profound connection that put my body and mind at ease but at the same time it had grabbed onto my cock and was tugging it. The sensuality of the moment was making my cock harden, and stretch out in rigid arousal to acknowledge the powerful sexual energy that came with bodily contact and the sensation of her warmth in my arms.

There was no doubt in our minds that as we lay there together intimacy was in the cards for the evening. Our kids were not visiting and the house was quiet and dark. So when we went upstairs later that night after the concert was over we were both in an amorous mood. With little conversation we went about bedtime preparations. After 42 years of sleeping together we are a well oiled machine. Precursory showers, hand creaming, tooth brushing and pubic trimming and shaving etc were all done and we fell into bed in record time.

In any relationship you learn to read subtle signals of what the sexual connection will be in any coupling. In the early years missed cues and lack of awareness of our needs made for many awkward connections in sexual interactions. I may have been thinking of cunnilingus while she was thinking a hand job for me or I might have been thinking of fucking and she was thinking oral on me. There was none of that on Friday night we read each other plainly.

From so many years together I can read her signals so clearly of what her needs are before we even got into bed, so I made straight for what I knew she wanted; a foot massage. J’s feet are delicate and they take a lot of abuse; she also had a bout of fascitis in her soles this last year from an injury. So when she is in need of a foot massage, if I give her one it makes her turn into a girly puddle.

We were both naked in bed, being a guy my state of arousal was difficult to hide. So as I got up from the bed my erect cock was straining. She took notice and watched it bob around as I got up from next to her and went to the end of the bed to her feet. On route I grabbed the hand cream from her dresser and brought it to the bed.

Warming a small pool of cream in one hand I firmly wrapped my other hand around her foot and placed it in my lap. As I sat at the footboard I placed her heel in the pool of warm cream and began to spread it all over her sole. Wrapping my large hands around her foot I pressed my thumbs into her sole and rhythmically stroked the underside of her foot going from heel to toe with each of my thumbs, pressing firmly but tenderly. Her toes splayed as the relaxing eroticism of my assertive hands kneaded the pain and tension for her foot. Lovingly I paid attention to each toe and the balls of her feet and the sides of her arches. Each time I struck a sweet spot her toes splayed and curled like a cat being stroked.

I spent a long time on each foot, savoring the impact it was having on her. Her eyes were closed and her head was back; judging by the weight of her leg in my lap she was deeply relaxed. I love massaging her feet not only because it relaxes her but also because it is so arousing for her. Best for me though is the vantage point I was sitting at allows me to judge exactly how aroused she was getting. I was sitting a few feet from her pussy, between her legs. Her relaxation and trust in me from years of intimacy allows her to shed her modesty and shamelessly display her aroused pussy to me. As I parted her legs to go from one foot to the next the vista of her downy peach oozing juice was stirring my own arousal.. As her arousal grew towards orgasm the lost of her modesty expanded to lost of inhibition would soon follow. The transformation from polite lady to woman spewing filthy verbal comments, requests for pleasure, and assertive sexual actions on me is an incredibly arousing aspect of our sexual interaction for me.

So as I looked at her pussy on Friday night I knew the buzz vibrating in her feet from massage had rippled up to her crotch and was doing its work on her cunt. Her pussy lips were dilated and her opening was glistening and oozing with the honey of her arousal. She ordinarily is the one who wants to put my orgasm first as she knows hers takes longer than mine; she has always been self conscious about taking so long. Except when she is aroused (as she was on Friday night) the hunger in her cunt stifles any angst that she may have over the amount of time she takes to orgasm. She was craving convulsive ecstasy deep in the pit of her sex, her cunt was drooling its hunger like a starving person at the prospect of a feast.

So as I slid up between her legs and lowered my mouth to drink from her flowing cup, she gracefully parted her legs and beckoned me to taste her, savor her and deliver the orgasmic relief that she craved.

The massage of her feet had rendered my cock into petrified stone. But unlike a dead stone my cock was warm and throbbing and like her pussy was dripping with a clear warm stream of my own passion. Fervent desire had its insistent hand around my cock and was tugging it and making it ache with sexual hunger. The dull ache of profound desire has become a sensation that I relish; I wallowed in the pervasive arousal that was gathering up in me from a sexless week. So as I lowered my mouth to the well of her femininity my cock throbbed and pulsed sending a ripple of pleasure up my cock shaft to my prostate making it harden in its arousal and in reciprocation making my anus clench in pleasurably convulsive spasms.

I stopped my mouth an inch from her pussy. Her cunt lips were open revealing the lush dewy throat of her pussy hole; her cunt mouth was open in a silent scream of its desire to feel the loving stroke of my tongue that she knew was coming. She has me well trained how to serve her lust aching pussy. I breathed the warm breath of my adoration for her on her partially open lady lips that lie just beneath my mouth. They seemed to open wider to gulp at the heat of my warm breath and the pleasure that she knew was imminent.

Then with measured deliberation I closed the distance between her dripping cleft and my lust hungry lips and tongue. When my lips made contact with her passion glazed opening and kissed it tenderly it seemed to kiss me tenderly back, her sticky lips clung to my own like a lover who didn’t want the kiss to end. The silken folds that surrounded her opening were coated with the warm slippery cocktail of her lust. Extending my tongue to seek the crevices in between the petals of her flower I captured her nectar on my tongue and swallowed it with the thirst of a hummingbird at a lush bloom on a July morning.

When I had stimulated every inch of the landscape at her opening I sought the heat of her hole. Putting my hands on her ass cheeks to hold her steady and to my mouth I sank my tongue into the gaping opening of her desire. She became a ripe juicy fruit in my hands as I held her dripping gash to my mouth, As I probed her juicy hole and ran my toingue around inside her hole she opened her legs wider in an attempt to feel my tongue stroking every inch of her aroused quim. The more I laved her steamy sex the more the juice of her passion flowed from her quivering hole. Her thighs were trembling as her pussy quivered begging for the stimulation that would deliver her to the anguished rapture that was building inside her.

I tortured her with pleasure; I extended the tip of my tongue to a rigid point that probed and stroked and explored her gaping vagina. The more I probed the thicker and more profusely her honey flowed. At the same time her arousal was escalating her to a point of no return.

Holding her ass cheeks firmly in my hand I steadied her pelvis in preparation for the assault on her clit. The steamy heat was radiating from her now wide open pussy hole. Abandoning the chasm of her need I shifted my attention to the pink pearl at the top of her pussy mouth. It was extended and rigid with desire, echoing the agitated state of my own dripping cock. Gently I kissed it multiple times savoring its hardened resistance against my soft lips. With quiet acknowledgement J murmured; “uuuuhhhh”, as I kissed her sexy nub. She reached her hands down to bith sides of my head and held my mouth exactly where it was. She was not about to risk me paying attention to anything else.

Rather than tease her, I wrapped my lips around her erected clit and sucked it into my mouth firmly. Once trapped in the suction it was pulled entirely from its fleshy hood. Now that her aroused clit was in my mouth I pointed my toungue and began to firmly stroke the underside of her glans alternating with strokes of the rough flat of my tongue over the entire lust crazed and hardened sexy pebble.

She let out another uhhh at the initial assault of my mouth on her pearl but that quickly changed to a mewling squeal at the sucking and tugging of my mouth on it. She began to rock her pelvis and hump my face which was riding the rolling thrusts of her hips. As her arousal reached that sweet moment were pleasure becomes excruciating agonizing ecstasy, her legs began to tremble and her comments became lurid and filthy.

Removing a hand from one of her cheeks I extended my middle finger and gently inserted it into her sopping pussy. Keeping up the sucking stroking massage of her clit with my tongue I sought the secret spot in her pussy mouth. Stroking her canal with my finger I found the swelling on the roof of her canal and gently stroked it, bending my finger and pressing firmly. As I did she clenched her mouth shut and grunted letting out a hiss as she did.

The orgasm opened up inside her with a flourish and rushed from her spasming pussy like a torrent of water going over a waterfall. She thrust her hips and pressed her pulsing pussy against my mouth in spastic gyrations as she grunted and squealed. I rode her bucking ecstasy until she was spent and quivering on the mattress. Lifting my mouth from her pussy mouth I lay next to her on the bed and held her as ecstasy was replaced by post orgasmic euphoria.

Experiencing her orgasm with my mouth locked onto her rapture shrouded pussy is the most intimate experience I have ever had with anyone. It was so arousing to me that I could have laid there indefinitely thinking about the pleasures that I gave her only moments earlier. But after ten or fifteen minutes she began to stir and kiss my neck and behind my ear. Then she began to suck on my ear lobe and tongue fuck my ear canal. I lay there savoring the closeness of her and the gentle teasing that she was providing my arousal.

The gentle sucking of my earlobe became a nibbling sucking on the nape of my neck and slowly to my chest where she latched onto a nipple. The tugging nips on my teat fueled a surge of erotic energy to rush into my anus and spear my prostate. Impaled on a spike of anguished pleasure my prostate shook and quivered as the tender tugging and suckling on my nipple amplified the arousal that was already boiling inside of me. As she suckled my aching tit, she grabbed my elongated hardened cock shaft and firmly squeezed it expressing a thick drool of pre cum from my mushroom cockhead which was sticking up above the grip of her fist on the base of my cock.

The erotic agony of having my nipple sucked as she squeezed the base of my cock could only be described as exquisitely sensual. Chills of arousal rippled across my skin and my mind turned to haze as the warm vibrations of sexual energy resonated inside of me. I lay there immobilized floating in a warm pool of lust relishing the tingling sensations that were rippling inside me.

Then her trip south resumed as she kissed her way to my cock. I impatiently waited for her to arrive. When she finally made it to the base of my cock it was like an oak brannth that was freshly sawed, clear sweet sap was dripping from the end of the rigid limb that protruded from between my legs. With no fanfare she fixed her grip on the base of my stem and directed my dripping swollen corona to her mouth. She was able to take my cockhead and a couple of inches into her mouth. The welcome warmth of her mouth around the end of my cock was exquisitely erotic. She knew better that to mouth her mouth up and down on my cock as I would have spewed in her mouth in a matter of minutes. Instead she sucked my cock gently like a calf suckling on an udder.

As she nursed on my cock my heart pounded in my chest and my anus began to tingle and gently spasm. Through the bliss of pending ecstasy I was able to gather my wits and reach down to her wrist and direct her had to my anus. She knew in an instant what I was asking for and she complied happily. Removing her mouth from my now iron tempered penis she reached across the bed to get a bottle of lube from the night stand. I bent my knees and raised my ass off the bed and stuffed a pillow under my butt raising it off the mattress. I then parted my legs widely and raised my knees giving her full access to my puckered hole.

She poured some of the lube over her finger and put the opening of the bottle at the top of my anus just behind my balls as she squeezed the bottle making a stream of lube run into my asshole. Then placing the bottle aside she wrapped her lips around the back of my cockhead and began to massage the underside of my cockhead with her tongue. As she resumed her loving suckling on my cockhead her lubed finger found my quivering anal opening. Unceremoniously she lodged her finger at my opening and slowly began to penetrate me.

I gasped as she slid effortlessly into my man pussy. I knew exactly how she had felt a short while ago with my finger entering her pussy. My anus seemed to gulp at her finger as she penetrated me, creating sweet erotic friction as she invaded me. My impassioned anus tried to clench onto her probing finger as gentle paroxysms of pre orgasmic sensation rippled up my anal canal.

Her long delicate fingers sought my unmistakably swollen prostate. In seconds she found it and she began to gently stroke it as she sucked on my cockhead. Slowly her mouth began to bob up and down on my cockhead in time to the gentle stroking I felt deep inside my anus.

The sensuality and the eroticism of the moment made the cum deep inside me boil and steam. The soothing frenzy of anal penetration and desperate pleasure of being sucked off combined in my brain to make an erotic cocktail that was both intoxicating and pleasurably enraging.

I lay there prostrate, legs spalyed as she finger fucked me and sucked me to the edge of oblivion. The earth inside me rumbled and shook as fiery visions of lava erupting from volcanoes, intermingled with images of passion entangled lovers, and women I know sucking my cock and finger fucking my hungry asshole swam in my imagination.

J pushed me futher and further and closer and closer to the abyss. The pleasure inside of me reached a screeching crescendo and then it let go. She knew it was going to happen, as her finger was at the source and she could feel it beginning to spasm.

She raised her mouth from my cockhead and left her finger deep inside my asshole. She grasped the base of my cock with her other hand as she continued to finger fuck me. The center of my bliss moved from my cockhead to the spot deep in my anus that her finger was lovingly stroking. And then the spasm in my anus started. Before I felt anything I felt my anus rhythmically squeezing her finger as ripples of anal ecstasy flowed from my anus. Then I felt the wad of cum starting to move along the seemingly arduous path from deep in my anus to the tip of my cock.

She held my shaft as it was a fire hose and we both watched as my cockhead swelled like the nostrils of a raging bull. Seconds later as my cockhead flared and enlarged a long thick rope of hot white cum got regurgitated into the air. It was a continuous stream aching two feet above me and landing on my chest with an extended splat like noise. Her finger deep inside my anus prodded my prostate coaxing it to continue to jettison ropes of semen. It complied and with agonizing euphoria several more more pumps of my sexual essence erupted from my spreading cock slit as she watched in fascination.

I collapsed in a heap, emptied of my lust and drained of cum. Peace settled over me as she grabbed a handful of tissues add stuck them on my chest to sop up the cum that was threatening to run down my side. I clumsily tried to wipe up but gave up leaving the cum soaked tissues on my chest as I lay there in peaceful post orgasmic rapture.

Last night after an early dinner J went to my daughter’s house about an hour away to go to a movie. It’s been nice that the two of them have become movie buddies, they go to chic flicks (on a regular basis) that I wouldn’t go see. It was a late showing so J decided ahead of time to spend the night in my daughter’s apartment which is 10 minutes from the theater rather than drive the hour in the sloppy weather to come home. So I slept alone last night.

After chatting with some friends on line and doing some minor work related writing I headed up to bed. Alone time in the house or in a hotel is always time that I use for prostate massage. Most of my MMO sessions are done with nothing inside me with J in the bed next to me; the sensations from a massager less session are deep and subtle. Massagerless sessions never fail to get my precum flowing profusely when they are in full bloom. I love doing them.

But a session done with a prostate massager in my anus affords a unique feeling of being penetrated; it is a thrilling, gratifying, and highly erotic sensation. I can identify with many women’s craving for vaginal penetration. When I decide I am going to do a penetration driven session my anus begins to tingle and feel a deep craving to be penetrated. There is a very pleasant yet desperate arousal and a sensation of needing to feel my anal cavity being invaded by a long probing massager that grows inside my anus and quickens my heart beat. When a five inch long massager is inside my anus the resulting sensation is of fullness and it induces a gag like reflex as if my anus is regurgitating, similar to what I would feel if I stuck a finger down my throat. The difference being a reverse peristaltic reflex in my anus transforms quickly to extremely pleasurable ripples up my anal cavity, triggering my prostate to swell and erect and start pulsing with pleasure.

So after a shower I got in bed and read for a while. When I was sufficiently sleepy I prepped an Aneros Progasm Massager that I have. I prepped the Progasm and lubed my anus and set the massager up using the condom method. I would be happy to explain what that is in a pm or email.

A Progasm is approximately the same size and girth as an average five or six inch cock. I lay on my back and raised my knees with my legs parted preparing to take it. I can take a Progasm in my asshole comfortably if I angle it right. I took my time and gingerly maneuvered the head of the massage at the entrance of my anus. It some finagling to get it lodged comfortably in my anus. Once I got the bulbous head into my opening I angled it and inserted it. The feeling of the large head of the massager pressing against my anus and forcing it open made my cock quiver. Pressing a little harder and angling the bulbous head down it parted me and slipped inside my canal, the sensation of it sliding into me was exquisitely sensual. My anal canal seemed to gulping to swallow it. As it sank into me chills went up my spine and my nipples hardened and erected in sympathy. Once seated deeply in my anus, the p tab rested on my golden spot making it tighten reflexively; the familiar waves of pleasure and the gagging of my anal canal started making me gasp. I struggled to suppress the MMO that could have easily started right then and there; putting my legs down I savored the sensation of being fucked in the ass and tried to save the orgasm from starting to let it build for a bit..

Applying my best Zen mediation skills I tried to ignore the glowing well of pleasure in my anus that was ever so slowly filling me up. The agonizing bliss in my anus was pulsing gently threatening to explode into convulsive spasms of ecstasy any moment. I tried to minimize them and pretend I didn’t feel them as I breathed deep and full and focused on my feet. But like high tide slowly and inexorably rising on a sandy beach the orgasmic tension was flowing into my anus around the insistent intruder that plugged my asshole and was gently pressing against my now rigid P spot. The pressure of the head of the massager on my aroused prostate was sending irrepressible ripples of sweet rapture over my skin and deep into my body.

Slowly I rolled over gently placing my aching cockhead on the mattress. The pressure of my stomach on my cock shaft expressed a large wet drool of precum on the mattress; I felt its warmth spread under my belly. Angling my left shoulder up to provide finger access to my nipple I brought my left hand middle finger up and tenderly toggled my erect nub. An electric jolt of white hot pleasure shot from my rigid dark pink nipple straight to my prostate making it clench and radiate a wave of sheer ecstasy as it did. That spasm initiated a chain reaction of rhythmic pumping convulsive waves of pleasure that launched the session.

In a choreographed dance that was elegantly graceful and spellbinding the massager began to rock gently in my anus. As my anus held the base of the shaft tight in a clench of pleasure, involuntary orgasmic spasms began to slowly push and pull the extremely blissful foreign object that was lodged in my anus in and out of my hole as if it was a bow on a violin being drawn over strings.. As my anus sucked and pulled on the massager the bulbous head deep inside me was gently stroking my very aroused and lust hardened gland. Each pulsing spasm that drew the head over my rigid prostate caused a chime of serene pleasure to reverberate inside of me. The vibration rippled down to my cock and perineum and made them both lurch and recoil in bliss. As I savored each sweet orgasmic echo inside of me another would start, then another and another. The spasms were quickening and growing in intensity as they did.

Breathing into the anguished ecstasy that was playing inside my anus I projected fantasies into my conscious mind and described those fantasies to the empty room. Continuing to tease my nipples I elongated the orgasmic spasms and changed their rhythm though my breathing and the pace and nature of my nipple stim.

The massager was being sucked firmly into my anus with each spasm. The ball tipped P tab was pressing firmly on my golden spot as each orgasmic spasm drew the massager deeply into my anal canal. The P tab pressure, my nipple stim and my controlled breathing were making intensely pleasurable orgasmic waves roll inside of my anal cavity and making me moan and mewl in agonized rapture as the orgasm sucked pre cum and ecstasy from me in equal measure.

The spasms grew stronger and faster as I struggled to cope with the resounding echoes of pleasure that were milking my prostate with a firm hard grip and making my penile bulb pump and shudder in sympathy.

As the massager quickened its rocking penetration the pleasure became almost unbearable I began to verbalize the most lurid fantasies in my erotic repertoire. The result was a series or orgasmic spasms that were deeply intense. I took advantage of the privacy I had and bellowed a lewd description of what I was feeling. Verbalizing the sensations of the moment seemed to give the pleasure I was feeling a resonance and a depth that made it hard for me to breathe.

These orgasms were characteristically harder and more rugged than the massager less ones that I do. I feared that I might be pushing my body too hard to continue this intense orgasmic session more than the 40 minutes I had already. So I rolled on my side in an attempt to calm the spasms by eliminating any penile stim. The orgasms had reached a point however where they were so pleasurable they were sustaining themselves, one feeding the next. They needed no help.

I lay there for another five minutes relishing the divine convulsions that were continuing inside me. Without any stim on my cockhead the pleasure concentrated deep inside my anus; I had a golden spike deep inside of me creating paroxysms of sheer sexual pleasure. With firm tugging the muscles in my anal opening clenched onto the massager and were taunted into tugging on the massager in my anus, sucking it like it was a gourmet lollipop. I became acutely aware of the presence of the cock like probe in my canal, my anal muscles clenching it like it was a precious jewel.

I knew the only way to stop the orgasmic waves was to remove the massager. So as my asshole gripped the massager tenaciously I pulled on it. The continuing spasms of ecstasy did not want to relinquish the source of their immobilizing rapture, but with persistence I prevailed and the massager came out with a wet sucking pop.

My anus trembled in the absence of the source of its euphoria. And like leaves fluttering to the ground in a fall wind, my orgasm collapsed around me in the bed. My semi erect cock began to hard to stone as it always does in the moments after a session is over.

Sleepily I reached for a tissue from the nightstand next to the bed and wiped the lube that was dripping from my gaping asshole. My arousal was honed to a keen edge and the bed next to me was empty. J would be home tomorrow …. I missed her.

Because the site appeals to gay guys and straight guys alike there is a lot of interaction between the two persuasions in the chat room and in forum posts. A visit to site routinely finds gay guys and straight guys offhandedly conversing about sexual topics, their own sex lives and their experience of orgasmic pleasure. I noted to my gay friend that this routine occurrence was truly unique. I didn’t know of another place that provided an opportunity or the environment where a straight guy can both agree that they find an erect penis to be sexy and openly talk to him about it without any reservations. Moreover I was amazed that a regular middle of the road straight guy visiting the site and looking at cock pics can get over the top aroused looking at a lust hardened cock. Moreover I was surprised that that guy would be moved to tug at his own cock by looking at a swollen helmet like cockhead regurgitating cum, and admit it to a room of gay men.

This conversation made me think about the labels of gay, straight and bi. I sincerely believe that human nature and human sexuality can’t be put into two or three distinct categories’. It also made me appreciate the freedom of expression that comes with the anonymity of the internet.

In thinking about my own condition I am not a gay or bi person, I am somewhere on a continuum. However that continuum isn’t a one dimensional line between extremes, it is a multi layered complex matrix that allows me to consider many different erotic stimuli in the context of different erotic settings and mental states.

Thinking about my chat this morning I came up with a label that I think suits me perfectly; I am sensually appreciative. What this means is that I can see sexual beauty
in a wide variety of male and female attributes. I must admit however that I find femininity to be the most erotic.

Femininity in the context I experience it means both a physical and emotional presence. The erotic sensuality of J nude laying wantonly before me oozing a stream of desire from the lips between her thighs after I have kissed and licked her quim to arousal and the vision of desire in her dreamy aroused eyes is a huge turn on for me. The touch of her hand, the kiss of her mouth or the caress of her pussy intoxicates me. It is partly the feminine contact and my exhibitionist nature but it is also because it is her.

It is not only her presence and the gentle pressure of her soft warm skin on the cleft under my cockhead that makes my anus and prostate pump convulsive rapture. It is my emotional sexual bond with her that coaxes paroxysms of squeezing bliss deep into my anal canal.

But at the same time the sight of a flat, trim male abdomen and a thick rigid cock straining in aching arousal will harden my own cock. Seeing two guys rubbing their frenular clefts together until they spew cum on each other is extremely arousing. From my one male to male liaison I now know what a cock feels like in my mouth and the eroticism of that cock swelling and shrinking rhythmically as it expels a stream of hot cum onto my tongue filling my mouth.

With J it is the power I wield to bring her pleasure that arouses me. With a guy it is the empathy I fell for the guy as I watch him experience the same orgasmic bliss I experience.

Either way human sexuality is a turn on whomever experiences it, and I am not embarrassed or ashamed to say it turns me on too, regardless of whether it is a stone hard cock coated with with pre cum or a pink pussy gaping in arousal.

I started this chronicle in July of 2011, 19 months ago. The two hundred entries narrate my sexual activities, thoughts, fantasies, proclivities and sensations over the last 510 days. This blog began synchronously with the skill I gained to have multiple non ejaculatory prostate orgasms (or MMO’s) without inserting anything in my anus or touching my prostate. I am estimating that of the 510 days that this blog covers I have done an MMO session on 440 of them. The blog includes 200 entries counting this one and has garnered 51,000 views.

For a little more than a year and a half I have been doing sessions every morning. Those 440 sessions translate to 130,000 orgasmic spasms in the last 19 months. During this same 19 months I am guessing that J and I have had some sort of paired sexual activity on 228 of the 510 days. Its hard to estimate but I think that I had a “wet orgasm” approximately 180 of those 228 times by J either giving me hand jobs, oral sex or by me fucking her. My memory suggests that half of those 228 wet orgasms were fucking and half were something else. As much as J likes to feel my long hard cock deep in her vagina and she relishes the sensation of my living pulsing cock pulsing cum into her she also loves to watch me cum.

I am also guessing that of the remaining 48 intimate liaisons that we had that did not involve me having an orgasm; they involved her having a full orgasm. Of those 48 orgasms I bet that at least 10 that were so intense that she cried out loud enough to cause me concern that someone walking by on the street under our bedroom window might hear her mewling in ecstasy.

The Word text back up to the blog of 200 entries consists of exactly 797 pages single spaced. I am not quite sure of what I should do with all this text. Maybe I will follow the example of the movie “Julia” and convert the blog to a book and then a movie. I can call it Orgasming with J; I am just not sure who should play the lead. LOL

In all of the 797 pages of experiences and fantasies and thoughts, J is indeed the most important part of them all, whether she is involved in reality or part of a fantasy. There is no doubt that an MMO orgasmic session is exponentially more pleasurable than a wet orgasmic session in terms of erotic sensation. An MMO is not quite a whole body experience for me but it does definitely involve pleasure saturating half of my body. MMO orgasmic spasms are stronger, more intensely pleasurable and they are many many more in number. A wet orgasm for me involves 3 or 4 ejaculative spasms and probably 3 more aftershock spasms. A short MMO session for me (I just had a short one an hour ago) involves 70 hard pumping orgasmic spasms. A long session can go as many as 400.
A new dimension that the blog describes is that in the 19 months that I have chronicled there was another series of milestone events, they are paired MMOs. I have done 5 MMO sessions with J as an active participant, one in which I did something that took me years to work up the confidence and mind /body control to do ….. turn control of my MMO session to her and let her lead it. In those two occurrences I came to fully under the feminine side of orgasm from making love. My mental state of mind, heightened arousal, lack of distraction and emotional bond set me up to allow her to use my body to coax rapturous pleasure from my body.

J is an incredibly talented woman. She is smarter than I am, more creative, more skilled and more flexible. She is however not sexually confident. She was a virgin when we were married and she came from a puritan New England family; she didn’t have the sexual focus that I had but she was curious. Her sexual experience when we met consisted of kissing and being felt up; I took her virginity before we were married and I introduced her to her own sexual potential. Fucking before we were married and the first year afterwards was difficult as it hurt a lot for her to accommodate my cock in her pussy. It was a combination of my size, her size and her nerves as well as her not being into it.

Our sex life for the first five years we were together improved but she never had orgasms from fucking. Her path to orgasm was oral sex and mutual masturbation. Those sessions were hot then as compared to our fucking at the time and they are still hot now. Eye to eye contact while mutually masturbating each other is still very very erotic. From my standpoint when she is looking deeply into my eyes and I feel my orgasmic crescendo building to climax it drives me crazy with pleasure. When I go over the edge as she is firmly stroking my aching cock and the pre orgasmic ache in my perineum transforms to orgasmic ecstasy, she can see the pleasure I am feeling in my contorted face.

The same is true for J; the orgasmic rapture she is experiencing is evident in her eyes. Her eyes are a sexy window into her euphoria. As orgasmic ecstasy floods into her pussy the orgasmic pleasure consumes her consciousness making her squint her eyes in a blend of confusion and bliss, her eyelids become heavy with the agonizing pleasure that is ravaging her pussy and making it drool her love juice. Seeing her in that state is profoundly arousing for me.

For her I can give her the best orgasms through cunnilingus. Giving her oral pleasure is my favorite paired activity. As I said she was and is a very conservative straight laced woman. Over the years I have learned that patience, preparation and skilled manipulation of the wonderful complex sexual equipment in her vulva can result in amazing orgasms for her. I love seeing her lose control; when she is close to the precipice of orgasm she transforms to dirty slut. She will ride over the edge to paroxysms of orgasmic rapture just like going over the first hill of a roller coaster screaming filthy explicative descriptions of herself and what she is feeling as well as my cock.

Those 10 orgasms that I described her having that resulted in her screaming shrilly were all a result of me making love to her with my mouth. Those orgasms were so powerful that her ears rang after they were done and on a few of those occasions she almost fainted. The things that allowed these orgasms to be so powerful for her have been and continue to be: trust in me, a clear mind, a lack of feeling vulnerable and freedom from self consciousness. It took a great deal of bravery for her to allow me to join my mouth to her pussy more than 40 years ago, now she craves it and will often ask for it.

However despite the intense pleasure of MMO there is a unique emotionally gratifying warmth and connection that can only be achieved from penetration. Having my cock deep in her warm wet pussy as it caresses my cockhead and sucks gently on it coaxing it to convulse in orgasm, pumping my hot cum deep into her. However as a recent post noted in several of the last paired MMO sessions with her I have learned to combine the best of both worlds. A couple of months ago I did an MMO in her pussy and more recently I did an MMO in her mouth as she massaged my prostate. I was able to experience the profound love and connection to her as I was drilled by powerful orgasmic contractions over and over. The pleasure was so intense and hard it was almost enough to drive me crazy.

J plays such a huge role in all of my sexual activity. Despite all the fantasy I describe and all of the sexual exploration I have done (including my one male experiment), the most resonant and sensually arousing experiences have been with J. The reason I can launch at will in less than a minute to orgasmic spasms each night with no preparation is her. As was the case last night all it takes is nestling my erection in the warmth of her crease near the heat of her anus and I am sailing in rhythmic convulsions that grow to gripping MMO’s.

The convergence of my sex drive and my love for her culminates in orgasmic fury that transports me far away from reality. When the introspective sensation driven pleasure of MMO meets the visual external stimulation of her experiencing bliss and her body twisted in the throes of agonizing ecstasy it is the proverbial perfect storm for me.

So as I consider the last 200 entries that this chronicle has documented I have to say that I in the last 17 years I have come to understand that my body is capable of producing so much more pleasure than I had ever imagined it could. I have also confirmed that the profound sexual pleasure that I have learned to coax from my body becomes even more ferocious when is linked to the larger much more complex sexuality of my beloved J.

I know that the joining of my introspective pleasure with J’s own sweet rapture amplifies my ecstasy placing me in a state of euphoria that is both profoundly gratifying and desperately pleasurable.

The fantasies that I have that involve real people that I see all the time seem to be the dominant ones in the erotic landscape of my mind. Certainly the homoerotic fantasies I have at the pinnacle of MMO ecstasy are not realism based; when my anus is quivering and my prostate is pumping and my cock is lurching in convulsive orgasmic spasms my fantasies become surreal. Most of the time they involve a exquisitely muscled faceless guy who is exuding male sexuality; he is drilling my asshole with a massive erect cock whose shaft is tracked with rigid veins. The convulsive spasms of pleasure pumping deep in my own anal canal become spasms of his cock as it rhythmically pumps a thick hot stream of his sweet ejaculate deep into my anal cavity.

But sitting across the table from A yesterday, her demure sexuality grabbed my emotional attention. Her appealing and vulnerable femininity is beguiling. She is very bright, working in a job that pays well but is far beneath her intelligence and education. She cant take on a position that would demand a lot of her time because is juggling the responsibilities of raising two kids; her husband left her. There is a quiet conservative mystery to her. Her face is beautiful, her facial features are elegantly chiseled and her hair is auburn and very silky. Most striking though are her green eyes. Looking into her eyes she draws me in and holds me even though she is not trying.

Yesterday at the meeting she was wearing slacks and a sweater. The slacks were non descript black but they were tailored well, accentuating her long legs. She has a bit of a tummy but it very a appealing features; it accentuates the curves below her waist. I could imagine laying naked with her, my head on that tummy inches from her downy vulva breathing in the musky aroma of her feminine arousal. I would imagine that she doesn’t shave her peach, she is a conservative woman; however its hard to predict the sexual predilections of even a reserved woman.

But A’s most noteworthy features beside her gorgeous face are her voluptuous tits. They are not massive, they are full and ripe; but they are perfect. In her sweater yesterday, the thin knitted fabric clung to them and outlined their sensual shape elegantly. I don’t know what kind of bras she buys but they have my vote. Her clingy sweater revealed her breasts to be teardrop shaped and slightly pendulous, but not sagging. It was obvious from the form revealing knit that draped her chest yesterday that her subtly outlined nipples are situated at the tip of her teardrop shaped breasts slightly towards the top of them, giving her tits that characteristically sexy upturned shape. She must be a 36 C or maybe even a small D cup.

I am one of those guys who are attracted to breasts like a hummingbird is attracted to aromatic sweet honeysuckle. All during the meeting yesterday sitting across from her I took surreptitious glances at her lush chest; gazing at her tits I could imagine her warm breasts in the caress of my hands as I held them to my lips to suckle the sexual desire from her aroused nipples.

I don’t know if she intends her glances at me to arouse me or if she is conscious of my attraction to her. I don’t know if it is just that she is naturally alluring to everyone. In my sixty year old fantasy aroused mind I imagine that as she looked at me yesterday with those mysterious “come hither eyes” she was asking me to be with her emotionally, physically and sexually. Several times yesterday during the meeting she looked at me and smiled. I melted. The affection that I have for all women flares up when I interact with them and with certain women like A it is more so. What I feel in her presence is more than affection, it is a desire to caress her, kiss her and take care of her emotionally; that is where my fantasy with her comes in.

Yesterday as I looked at her towards the end of the meeting our eyes met and she smiled her demure smile at me as she usually does and for a second I felt a flash of her attraction to me. My cock lurched and I was suddenly sailing in a fantasy of feeling her soft feminine body relaxing in my arms as my cock quietly hardened in my pants readying for penetration of her soft vulva. The sensual fantasy of lying with her and kissing her quickened my heartbeat and made a calm sensual exhilaration fill my head. I longed to feel her body against mine with my hands cradling her sweater covered breast as I kissed her passionately. Then the meeting was over.

It was 7 PM and I needed to get home. It was a dark snowy ride home but the images of her sensually luxurious femininity lingered in my mind like a gently burning fire, its flames licking at my cock, warming it and breathing the fire of arousal on it. The warm memory of her sexiness indeed felt like it has her warm breath blowing on my cock as she kissed it. As she kissed my swelling cockhead she cast her sexy spell on it by breathing the warm breath of her lust on it making it stiffen to her sultry sexuality.

I wallowed in the sexy fantasy of her all the way home last night. And even after dinner when I came in here into my office, in the quiet yellow light from my desk lamp the fantasy of intimacy with her clung to my mind. It was if she was a warm pot of melted chocolate and I had dipped my sexy spoon into her; her sensual sexuality coated my thoughts the way melted chocolate coats a spoon that is dipped into it.

Despite an evening of emails and news and myriad distractions the thought of kissing her soft lips and sensually caressing her body and dipping my middle finger into her passion sopped pussy mouth remained lodged in my thoughts. Laying in bed at midnight I let my fantasy run wild.

In my fantasy I envisioned that A and I were going to meet with a group of organizational constituents in Philadelphia. No other board members could make it and the Executive Director had a conflict, so it was left to the President (me) and the recording secretary (her) to cover the meeting. I picked her up early in the day at her house and we drove the four hours to Philadelphia to do the meeting. We arrived at the venue at 3 and set up for the agenda. By 4 PM, all 30 people were there and the meeting began. This is a real group that we routinely meet with, which made the fantasy all the more real in my mind.

In the fantasy the meeting ended at 7 PM as scheduled leaving A. and I free for the evening. In my mind the official duties of President were over and this became an illicit date with this beautiful young woman. I have never cheated on J; the forbidden nature of this fantasy kicked its eroticism into high gear.

We were very relaxed and comfortable with each other but not close. I knew we would have a great evening together, she is such a pleasant person to work with in our organizational meetings and there was this thinly veil hope of more intimate connection.

We wound up at a restaurant that the organization uses frequently in Phila. for dinner meetings. The surroundings were as comfortable as chatting with her was. The free and easy banter about the organization and our own hometown communities slowly glided into more personal verbal interchange. I inspire trust with people that I interact with especially women. I think it is my height and demeanor; I come off as a father figure. It is also my interest in people as well; I genuinely find the details of peoples lives fascinating and I love to listen to them. People are comfortable with me and the open up and talk about deeply personal things. So I listened.

The details of her life flowed from her thoughts like a babbling brook. Her move to New York from Illinois to go to college, the career choice she made and ultimately her choice of boyfriends and later husband. The longer she talked the deeper and more intimate the details became. Soon she was revealing intimacies of her life the way I imagined she might part her legs and reveal her lush vulva to me. She told me of her need for emotional intimacy and the crushing realization of her exes demeaning nature and his emotionally abusive character as it crushed her intimate connection to him along with the pain it caused her. As I sympathized with her I felt her getting emotionally closer to me. I gazed into her eyes as I listened in rapt attention. I took in all the pain that she described.

When we left the restaurant we left in a different relationship than when we started the day, 10 hours earlier; I had grown closer to her. Beyond the desperate sexual desire I had for her I now had the emotionally intimate connection that I longed for. As we drove to our hotel I wondered if the emotional intimacy would open the door to sexual intimacy.

I had a warm emotional feeling for her; it emboldened me. The relaxed connection I felt for her girded that boldness with a comfortable feeling that I could be totally open with her and share my feelings openly. With uncharacteristic forwardness, I admitted to her that I was enjoying the time with her and that I longed to continue our conversation and the warm feelings it created deep inside me. Hoping that she felt the same way I suggested that maybe we could forego the second hotel room and spend the night together. To my extreme joy she quietly said: “ mmmm that would be nice”. My cock throbbed enthusiastically in response.

Checking into the hotel I told the clerk that the second party had cancelled and that we only needed one room. In my mind I fantasized that we made a believable couple. The ride up the elevator was a nervous one for me and her too I suspected. What I was about to do was totally out of character for me. The nervousness continued on the walk down the soft carpet to what had just become our room. My arousal was whining in my ears like a jet engine. As I inserted the card key in the door my legs felt weak and my heart was pounding.

Swinging the door open we both stepped inside. Without any hesitation I turned to her and kissed her. It was a kiss intended to assuage all her pain that she admitted to me over dinner. For me it was a kiss that expressed the steaming desire that had been bubbling inside of me for months. I held her and breathed my passion into her as I kissed her, she responded to my kiss with her own passion, seeking to connect with me emotionally, physically and sexually.

Separating our lips as gracefully as possible we looked into each others eyes; I knew looking into her eyes that there would be no time for showers or primping. The lust and desire that was pulling on my cock was also prying open her vagina. I knew that my cock was drooling and that most likely her pussy was weeping in equal measure. The desire that we both felt demanded immediate satisfaction; it was like a aggravating itch that screamed to be scratched.

So our coats and dress and pants and shirt fell away leaving me naked and her in bra and panties. I imagined what her tits and pussy would look like and my fantasy reached a new high level of arousal that made chills run up my spine.

Then I imagined turning down the bed and having her lay down on it as she looked up at me with those bewitchingly sexy green eyes. She unhooked her front clasp bra and revealed her lusciously soft tits to me; a long string of lusty drool hung from my cockhead in a vulgar display of my arousal. I didn’t care. I reached down and put one hand on the waist band of her panties at both hips and slid them down. She raised her derriere off the bed to facilitate her transition to total nakedness. I knelt on the bed gazing at this young beauty laying languidly before me offering her desire swollen pussy to me.

She looked like a photo out of a fine art erotica book. Her creamy white skin was flawless and her tight sinuous figure belayed the fact that indeed she was the mother of two. I imagined that her pussy was indeed unshaven under her panties as I could see a fringe of hair. I imagined that the close cropped hair covered a plump vulva that was cleaved by lush pink dewy pussy lips. Her inner lips would be swollen with desire and they would protrude from her outer lips in aroused vulgar honesty. Her desire was boiling over and her pussy had swelled and opened boasting its need.

I brought my hungry mouth to her juicy peach; my mouth was watering at the prospect of tasting her ripe sexuality. Holding her ass cheeks with both of my hands I drew her pussy lips to mine, as my tongue delved into the hot well of her passion to collect her sweet honey she shuddered . The taste of her pussy was different than J’s. There was a tangy citrus tartness to her that was tantalizing. The more I probed her opening and sucked in her nectar the more she made. I was drinking the profuse flow of this intoxicating cocktail that she exuded in response to my loving ministration.

I savored the taste of her and I relished the trust she gave me. Parting her legs to shamelessly ask me to ravish her unwashed crotch and deliver profoundly intense erotic sensations into her gaping pussy mouth took a leap of trust infused with raging sexual need. The thought of her relinquishing any reservations she had and casting off any reluctance to revealing her intimate sexuality to me was not lost on me. The imagined surrender of her pussy to my mouth reached the core of my real life arousal and turned my already rigid cock to stone.

I raised my face from her pussy and crept over her, hanging my stone hard dripping cock inches over her lust engorged pussy. A rivulet her own desire trickled from the lower edge of her pussy down towards her dark puckered asshole hole. I was poised for penetration.

That was the last that I remembered of the fantasy as the long day finally caught up with me and robbed me of the pleasure of a fantasy fuck. Sleep claimed me cutting short my delightful fantasy and lowering me into a dream filling peace that would not release me. The next thing I knew it was 7 am.

In the peaceful quiet this morning I savored the warmth of J quietly sleeping next to me. She is a profoundly feminine woman and her sexy karma permeates the bed we share. I relish this relaxed time lying with her in her semi nude state when we can cuddle; but I decided not to cuddle. So I gave in to it and rested there in that quiet sweet place between sleep and awareness. Despite the alluring warmth of J’s body my fantasy of the previous night with A still lingered. It made me aware of its presence by tugging at my semi rigid cock.

As I said, my fantasies tend to linger. This morning thinking of A‘s pussy in my fantasy, engorged and open as it awaited the intrusion of my cock, made my asshole tingle and convulse. The tantalizing fingers of MMO were now parting my ass cheeks and were opening my asshole to invade me. They reached into me and teased the hypersensitive canal inside my anus, taunting me so they could work their erotic magic on me.

I rolled onto my back and opened my legs and relaxed my anus. I then withdrew deep into my sexual psyche and sought out the frayed threads of the fantasy that sleep had made me abandon the night before. I collected them and recalled the bewitching sexuality of A’s pussy. I felt the warm pulse of orgasmic pleasure begin to well up deep in my asshole as my fantasy again appeared in my thoughts. From a diffuse sense of erotic warmth the pleasure organized itself to become glowing pulsing pulses deep in my anal canal. Each pulse radiated ripples of sexual bliss to my anus and cock.

I envisioned the sensation of my big mushroom shaped cockhead parting the young pink petals of A’s pussy flower, as I pushed my shaft into the wet hungry well of her arousal. Once my cockhead was lodged in her pussy and her pussy mouth was stretched open around my shaft, her desire sucked the rest of my cock into her cunt and swallowed it whole. I slid into her effortlessly as the sweet caress of her vaginal canal held me and began to suck the desire from my balls.

I felt my sexual energy collecting and concentrating in my anal canal as I imagined her pussy sucking it to draw it from me as if my passion was a milkshake that her pussy was gulping through my cock like it was a soda straw.

The illusion of fantasy seemed to dissolve as my real life arousal in the bed took over. The wellspring of orgasm was indeed gathering deep in my anal canal. My prostate was trembling as the orgasmic tension was building inside it making it swell and harden in preparation for its orgasmic ordeal.

With an image of A’s elegantly vulgar pussy mouth stretched open as she swallowed my cock to the hilt, I breathed into the orgasmic pressure that was almost driving me insane deep inside my anus. As I did, the orgasmic tension responded and burst free; wave after wave of orgasmic spasms began to pump inside of me. Pulsing rhythmically with the regular beat of a metronome, the kaleidoscope of colorful sexual sensation was revealed to my eyes and my senses

As the resonant ecstasy of orgasmic rapture took form and color in my mind the profound pulsing radiated across my body triggering the aftershocks of ecstasy on my nipples, cock and perineum. My body became an orgasmic earth quake, with relentless convulsive pleasure, orgasmic spasms shook my legs and made my cock lurch and jerk with each spasm. As I breathed my mind reached from under the heavy blanket of orgasmic pleasure to envision A’s tits and pussy expressing the rapture of being fucked by me.

The thought of sexual intimacy in its vulgar elegance and a sexy young woman shamelessly revealing herself to me in sexual rapture only served to intensify my MMO in real life. The wave like contractions of orgasmic pleasure washed back and forth from my anus to my cock eliciting deliriously sweet spasms and sensations of deep euphoria as they did.

From 7 am to 8 am I lay tempest tossed in my bad on my back as the sensual hand of lady MMO reached deep into my anal canal and with the hands of a talented milk maiden rhythmically milked the orgasmic pleasure from my prostate as her other hand reached into my brain and sought out thoughts of sexual rapture to savor them and let their creamy warmth trickle down through her parted fingers.

At 8 am I dragged myself from the greedy embrace of MMO and took my slimy precum coated cock into the bathroom to get ready for the day.

Sitting here writing this a half hour later, thoughts of A sitting across from me in the meeting yesterday still linger in my mind. I wonder what she was thinking when she looked at me and smiled towards the end of the meeting.

The mystery of those alluring eyes will keep my fantasy clinging to my thoughts for weeks.

J has been post menopausal for fifteen years, she is however still a very sexual woman. She takes more time to “warm up” now than she once did but once she does she is like a tigress. Fortunately for both of us we are a good sexual match, as I am a very sexually patient guy who doesn’t really care much about my own orgasm as long as I can MMO. Also, she has become very adept in the last two years at facilitating MMOs. So many times after an evening of MMOs or intimate interchange between us she is very happy to fuck and have the gratifying feeling of sucking the cum from my balls, filling her pussy as we embrace and kiss. She is not typically a woman who requests oral; except the night of my oral MMO in her mouth. She wanted an orgasm.

As we lay there she began to kiss my neck and tease my nipples as she kissed me. Her feminine fingers danced on my nipples alternating her tantalizing attention from one nipple to the other as she kissed me. I have enjoyed the passive role these last few years. My rewiring has refocused me after years of being the pleasure provider to enjoying being the pleasure receiver. As she flicked my little teats and pinched them, she made my cock lurch with each pinch of her sexy fingers on the brownish pebble like flesh. Slowly she worked her kisses down to my collarbone, sliding down in the bed as she did. She ended up at my right nipple engulfing it in her warm sucking mouth. A ripple of ecstasy rolled through me as I felt the heat of her mouth surround it and her warm tongue stroking it and drawing the arousal from it.

She knows how much I love to have her suck my nipples. She also knows that if she does it long enough and passionately enough she will make me cum hands free. She has done it many times, sucking my nipples and tweaking and pinching them with her hands until my cock dance and the bliss of nipple sucking makes my cockhead swell and my shaft lurch as I pump thick streams of cum all over the bed like a loose fire hose. But at that moment she stopped short of that and settled to tease me until my cock was throbbing and steel hard as it drooled a string of clear warm precum onto my belly.

My chest was heaving and my cock was bobbing up and down in time to my heart beat as she hoisted her leg over my thigh and straddled me. I prepared myself for what I thought was to be a slow and satisfying penetration of her hot dripping pussy. My cock drooled as I thought of the divine sensation of her vagina engulfing my cock and swallowing it. I imagined her pussy caressing my penis lovingly, her pussy mouth languidly sucking on it and savoring it. The arousal in me flared as I thought of my cockhead sliding into the core of her sexuality to touch her soul.

Instead however she crept towards the head of the bed on her hands and knees, her pussy passed my cock on its trip towards the head of the bed and she kept creeping. I knew what was coming and the thought of it steeled my cock and made it even harder than it was.

She reached for the top of the headboard with both of her hands and grasped it like a seasoned motorcycle rider grasps handlebars, and she kept creeping forward until her knees were in my armpits and her down covered cleft was a foot from my face. I could clearly see her pussy mouth was glistening and dilated with desire. Her parted inner folds exposed the dark pink entrance to heaven on earth. Her pussy mouth was dewy with her arousal as it exuded the warm thick honey onto her tender folds. Her pussy is a tattletale; in its reddened dripping state it told me just how aroused she was.

She is such a complex and subtle lady. She was so turned on that she really really wanted me to get her off orally. However she would never ask me for oral sex and she would never force herself on me. Instead she usually does just what she was doing at that moment, making it obvious to me that she wanted me to make love to her with my tongue by making it available and maintaining her lady like demeanor. She brought her aroused drooling vagina to inches from my face and tongue and silently asked me to take it and bring it the last few inches to euphoria.

So in an interchange that we have done so many times before I raised my hand to her supple ass cheeks and cupped them in my palms, urging her further up towards my mouth until her pussy was inches from my lips. She then reached down and bunched the pillows under my head to raise my mouth to millimeters from her vulva. I could feel the warmth of her aroused opening on my lips and I could feel her light fluffy hair tickle my chin. The heady scent of her aroused vagina filled my nostrils and made my prostate almost burst with desire. It was an alluring scent, it is vulgar yet sweet and musky and incredibly sexy. I love it.

Using both of my hands to gently caress the soft cheeks of her derriere I guided her the last inches or so to let me kiss her opening repeatedly. I savored the hot wet silkiness of her pussy opening as it clung to my lips. I kissed it tenderly relishing its alluring femininity. As my kisses made the sweet honey ooze from her cleft I sought its source and inserted the pointed tip of my tongue into her sexy opening. Extending my tongue into the warmth of her vagina I licked the thick sweet juice from the inflamed pink walls, stroking them as I stole her nectar. The sensation of my intruding tongue sent chills of desire up her spine; she arched her back and pushed her vulva against my chin forcing my tongue a little deeper into her cunt.

I slid my right hand into her butt crack and sought out her hot puckered hole with my middle finger. As I touched her anus it recoiled in a pleasurable reflex; her anus is very sensitive and is not typically part of our sex play. However when she is really turned on her asshole or anything else on her that is normally the subject of embarrassment or shame is fair game for exploitation if it brings her pleasure. She was really turned on. Just by the virtue of requesting oral sex I knew that she was really aroused and really needed and wanted to cum.

So as I placed the tip of my middle finger over the opening of her anus and massaged it gently, I raised my mouth a couple of inches to wrap my lips around her clitoral hood. Sucking on her pearl I extracted it from its hiding place. Once exposed I stroked the underside of her glans with my tongue, massaging, stroking and suckling her clit just as a mother cats licks and cleans her kitten. And like a kitten her aroused clit hardened further in its arousal and stretched out to revel in the warm soft attention that was stroking it. I sucked it and stroked it as if I was sucking milk from a teat. But as I pressed and massaged the underside of her pebble hard pearl with my tongue I was not expressing milk I was extracting pleasure.

Synchronous to the licking massage I was giving her clitoris I began to tenderly penetrate the opening to her anus. She moaned at the vulgar pleasure that seemed to be holding her between two exquisitely arousing sensations. She was getting sucked to higher and higher level of pre orgasmic desire by my tongue but at the same time my probing finger was penetrating the soft sensitive flesh of her anal opening. The dual pleasure was so intensely pleasurable, it was sweet torture. She moaned as she alternated between pushing back against my finger and pushing forward against my sucking lips and tongue.

I fully expected her to blow in an orgasm in my mouth any moment when to my surprise she raised her pelvis from my face and stood straddling me. She backed up to my hips and then lowered herself to sit on my cock. Grabbing the base of my rigid penis she directed it to her pussy opening as she put her full weight on it. She sat on my spike teasing it and taunting it; I could feel the sexual heat of her pussy mouth kissing my cockhead. That cockhead wanted nothing more that to sink into her; she hovered on top of it for what seemed like eternity.

My precum dripping cockhead engaged the drooling opening of her pussy mouth. There was no resistance when the full weight of her body finally came down on the few square inches of my cockhead. There was no place to go but inside her. So in one gulp her pussy mouth opened and swallowed my steaming flesh sword to the hilt.

Her sodden pussy walls sucked on my rigid spike and savored it like it was a sweet candy stick at the fair. When her pubic bone was against mine she began to rock back and forth grinding her clit against the bony base of my cock. She was feeding her arousal the raw meat it desired. Like a lioness feasting on a fresh kill she groaned and hummed as she swallowed the warm meat that she hungered for.

The air became thick with the pungent scent of sex. As the scent of lust filled the air the passion filled her pussy. It coated my cock with her thick white honey and dribbled from her opening. With the scent of lust filled the air and the sensation of my long hard penis inside her stirring her arousal she lost any vestiges of propriety or modesty. My normal reserved ladylike wife was being dragged into the maw of sheer animal lust and with all the vulgar passion she could muster was seeking pure sexual gratification.

I couldn’t hold back anymore. I felt the seething boiling pool of cum inside of me demanding release. The hand of orgasm reached deep into my asshole and squeezed my agonized prostate and the surge of cum was set free. In several excruciatingly sweet convulsive pumping spasms a thick hot rope of my cum splashed into her pussy, then another hard pumping stream and then another until I was spent and empty. Her pussy mouth spit out my softening cock like it was used chewing gum. She had extracted all the sweetness from it. My creamy sugar was pooled in the pit of her steaming pussy.

She extricated my flaccid cum coated penis from her pussy letting it flop with a wet slap onto my belly as she stood up.

She then walked back to the head of the bed bent down and grasped the headboard again, lowering her cum filled pussy to my mouth. It was raw red and her hole was still open in the shape of my cock that only seconds earlier had filled it with my cream. Her opening and lips were coated with the lust thickened cocktail of her vaginal secretion combined with my still hot cum.

J has always been turned on having me eating my own cum, particularly from her pussy. Oftentimes after we have fucked and I have cum in her she will straddle me and feed me my own hot creamy cocktail from her pussy as she masturbates herself and describes the vulgar thing I am doing as she masturbates herself to orgasm.

Her pussy was juicy from my semen and her cunt juice. She lowered her pussy to my lips and in a low whisper told me “eat me baby, make me cum and eat yours”. I didn’t need instruction I latched onto her clit with my lips and twisted my arm around to get my fingers into her pussy.

So as I suckled her click and tugged on it a stroked the swelling knot in her pussy. She began to quiver and mumble filthy epithets as the orgasm tightened up inside her. She took her hands off the headboard and held my head to her pussy as she slowly began to thrust her pelvis and gently tug her clit which was locked in my mouth.

As she rhythmically swung her hips back and forth and humped my face the orgasm came closer and closer. As she approached the precipice her legs began to tremble and her pussy began to quiver. And then it exploded. She mewled as the orgasm flooded her pussy in a torrent. Like a massive cock the pleasure drove into her and made her trembling pussy drool our combined cum into my mouth and chin as her legs shook and her pussy spasmed.

She released my head and grasped the headboard again to steady herself as she was overcome by orgasmic euphoria. The orgasm played her pussy like it was an elegant instrument playing in a rapturous symphony.

When it was over, she collapsed onto the bed next to me, drained and spent. Now we were finally free to sleep.

But obviously J has been and still is a huge part of my sex life.  What I have done in these last 17 years is compartmentalize my sex life; I have my intimate connection with her through fucking and I have my solo self directed MMO driven sex life. They exist in two different worlds.  I have several entries that discuss this division in my sexual response and my sexual life.  However to my great joy, very slowly, those two worlds seem to be moving closer together.

In the last two years J has been a participant on a number of occasions in some MMO sessions of mine.  Her involvement has been through massage, passively offering her derriere to help me launch as well as providing erotic incentive in sessions by sucking my nipples or doing prostate massage with her fingers.  The closest I had come to her being involved with me was caressing my cock with her pussy lips (externally) as I orgasmed, effectively frotting my cock with her vulva; at least that was it until this morning.  This morning I had my first MMO in J’s pussy.  It was a milestone and it was beyond incredible.

For the better part of the last year I have been doing MMO sessions every morning.  These sessions are self induced without the insertion of anything in my anus. The impact of this has been that it is now extremely easy for me to launch into really intense orgasms.  Most times I will go from nothing to full  blown hard orgasm in less than ten minutes. 

Last night while cruising on line I found a thread in a forum on frotting and humping.  There is something both vulgar and deeply sensual about pelvic thrusting.  This particular thread and referred videos featured both men and women.  I must admit I found the cock frotting particularly arousing.   So by the time I got to bed I was sufficiently aroused to do a really nice session.

As often happens when my mind has been piqued by erotica, I will have a very erotic dream after a hot chat, erotic writing or watching erotic vdeos.  This was the case last night.  Sleep delivered me to my usual early morning wake up at 4:30 AM with a prominent erection and a profound hunger for multiple orgasms.  With J’s warm derriere bared next to me, I slid over to her,  docked between her cheeks and launched; the pleasure waves began immediately.  They started as subtle and sensual as they initiated gentle spasms in my anal canal.  As each wave washed into my anus I timed a deep cleansing breath right behind it which intensified it and pushed the spasm deeper into me.  Every third or forth spasm I toggled my nipple and consciously tried to suppress the orgasms desire to contract my anus.  In my mind I felt like I was riding an escalator that was taking me higher and higher increasing the pleasure that was flowing into me through my gapping anus. 

For many minutes I rode the escalator pushing myself to see how much pleasure I could build up and how much I could stand.  Every minute or so I succumbed and let the orgasmic spasm have its way letting it contract my anal canal and blossom into divinely sweet pleasure waves.  The chains of pleasure waves became stronger and stronger as I breathed them to an almost excruciating level. Each pleasure spasm brought a delightful chill that ran up my spine,  raised goose bumps on my skin and washed erotic thoughts around in my head.

The last several months have conditioned me to be able to stop and start orgasms and restart them whenever I want with little or no warm up.  I think of it as an orgasmic escalator that is running whether I am on it or not.  I can get on it at any time to side it to orgasmic bliss quickly and effortlessly.

Embracing J,  I felt like I was laying on the warm sand of a beach as waves of warm sexual delight gently washed over me in rhythmic cadence. She was the warm sun on my naked sun stirring me to daydream erotic thoughts and images.  The minutes turned to a half hour and my mind began to wander as the pleasurable tension ceased modulating as the sensation of intense spasm gripped me and would not let me down.  It is the modulation of the recurring rising and falling pleasure waves that defines the chains of orgasms and makes them so incredibly blissful.  When they meld together into one long hard contraction they cease being as pleasurable.  So I rolled away from her and lay on my back as the pleasure waves continued to echo inside of me.

It was five AM.  I lay on my back and tried to relax my anus and loosen my muscles.  My semi erect cock hung to the side and dribbled pre cum on my hip.   Slowly I felt my anus begin to release and my anal canal start to relax.  After a few minutes I raised my hands to my erected nipples and I began to toggle them as I took rapid breaths.  Immediately the pleasure waves started again, this time with greater determination and intensity at the start.  I gasped quietly.  I began to engage some of my most treasured erotic fantasies, first starting with memories of licking and sucking J pussy and driving her to stiffening orgasm.  Then I thought of sleeping with and stroking some of my female friend’s vaginas delivering shuddering orgasms to their pussies.  I then began to think about guys I knew who I would like to frot with as I had seen in the videos before I went to bed. 

The impact of the fantasies on the MMO was like pouring gasoline on a fire.  The pleasure spasms roared and gripped me with such ferocity my legs trembled.  My cock was hanging free semi erect not touching anything.  In the absence of pressure on my frenulum the power of the orgasmic spasm was gathering in my perineum just behind my balls.  I could feel my prostate tightening and hardening like a steel spring being wound to its limit.  I struggled to breathe and pushed the pleasure spasm as hard as I could, then I just let it go.

The resulting wave of orgasms was so excruciatingly sweet and intense that I opened my legs and lay perfectly still in surrender to them.  My mind was not in control, my body was and it craved orgasmic pleasure.  Legions of involuntary spasms took control of my prostate, my perineum and anus and delivered thirst quenching orgasms to my parched anus. 

As I lay there legs parted it felt as if a divine spike was being thrust into my perineum just behind my balls.  However as this spike pierced my skin penetrating deep into my body, it did not cause pain.  Instead it injected me with searing hot ecstasy; the sensation   was thrilling, gratifying and arousing at the same time.  The pleasure was so agonizing it was blissful.  Over and over the spike penetrated me and pushed all conscious thought out of my mind filling me with steaming hot pleasure.  I was helplessly impaled.

The next forty five minutes or more had me riding wave after wave of sweet orgasm without coming down.  The modulation of the waves was deep, pushing me down and raising me up to the pinnacle of pleasure over and over again; it was an endless erotic rollercoaster.  

Somehow the thrilling desperation of recurring orgasm dulled my mind and fatigued my body.  I don’t remember how or when but I fell asleep. It wasn’t a sound sleep, I was drifting in and out from a pleasant haze of unconsciousness to the relaxing warm and erotic softness of the bed and J’s very feminine body next to me.  But as I slept the warm tongue of sexual desire was licking my cock and teasing it as its wanton lips were sucking me to hardness; in my sleep visions of my fantasies drifted in and out of my sleeping mind.

MMO’s deliver me to a particular state of arousal that is unlike any other kind of arousal I experience.  There is a depth, sensuality and richness to the desire that is equivalent to a deep parched thirst.  In this state I feel the need for sex and the release of orgasm in the very core of my being.  Because of the solitary nature of MMO, it is felt and witnessed by no one but me.  No one can experience the profound desire and resulting ecstasy that I do.  But the orgasm that I desire now must be witnessed.  The exhibitionist in me and the adoring sex partner in me want to share the elation of orgasmic release and have J experience it with me.

It was 8:30 AM when I awoke.  J was fully awake cuddled up me to me.  Her hands were stroking my chest and teasing my nipples.  My cock was stone hard.  There was no need for words.  I kissed her temple and began to massage her back drawing her closer to me so that her breasts were pressed against my chest.  I suddenly realized that she had shed her nightgown, her feminine sexuality radiated from her skin and was bathing me.  As I kissed her head and neck she tenderly grasped my cock shaft and squeezed it expressing a drool of precum to hang from my slit and land on my belly.  She claimed the warm slippery expression of my passion from my belly and cock head and belly and coated my shaft with it.

With no foreplay and with no fanfare she mounted me as I lay on my back, impaling herself on my cock pike.  I slid my steel penis effortlessly into her glistening wet pussy.  The heat of her desire engulfed my cock and inflamed my prostate.  When my cock was seated in the pit of her feminine love hole she settled in to savor the gratifying sensation of being penetrated to the hilt.  I embraced her and relished the divine satisfaction of being inside her warm pussy.  Holding her I began to kiss the nape of her neck.

Then, amazingly it began.   The familiar sensation of an MMO pleasure wave building.  I was incredulous.  I stroked the back of her head and whispered to her to just lay there and relax as I hoped that I could blossom into an MMO and not cum in her.  As I stroked her back I could feel the escalator starting up.  I got on and began to breathe deeply as I held her tightly and prayed that I could with hold my cum.  I whispered to her again.  This time I told her I thought I was going to MMO and she should just lay there and let me caress her and love her.  She said nothing but kissed her acknowledgement.

Her soft warm and deliciously wet pussy was gently sucking on my cock as she lay perfectly still on my chest.  My breathing was slow and deep fueling the fire that was building up inside me. That state of mind I mentioned above that occurs in mindful arousal as I embrace J began to materialize and saturate my brain.  It brought a sense of contentment, desire, arousal and sexual desperation that cannot be articulated.  Its power invaded my mind and severed the connection of my brain to my muscles and my conscious control of bodily function.  It demands that I obey it and feel it and feel nothing else.  As her pussy caressed cock shaft it held frenular cleft against her rigid cervix; I could feel the slit surface of her womb kiss my cock head as her pussy held it in place.  I was immobilized with the paralysis of desire and my mind was adrift in a sensual sea of erotic pleasure.

She knows my sexual response and she is familiar with my MMO process.  She also knows how responsive my nipples are.  So she broke the spell of my caress and raised herself up to sit on my cock in cowgirl position.  She then reached down with her elegant feminine fingers and began to tease, pinch and toggle my nipples. 

The result was an electric jolt of orgasmic passion that ran from my nipples straight to my asshole to pry it open and rush deep into my anal canal to seize my prostate and squeeze it.  The invasion caused my cock to vibrate as precum was pumped down my penis to dribble into her.

I groaned as I was thrust to the top of the orgasmic escalator; then abruptly I was cast into the arms of orgasmic ecstasy. .  In that fraction of the moment between excruciating need to orgasm and the start of my orgasmic spasm I felt the searing steamy heat of the inside of her pussy sucking my very soul from my cock slit.  My mind raced in desperation to savor the anguished delight of this moment and then I felt her fingers delivering tortuous pleasure to my aching nipples.  In that flash of a second I got sucked into the orgasmic spasm.  My anal canal was pried open and my canal was spasming trying gulp the orgasmic sensation as it rushed into me.  She watched in fascination as she tugged on my nipples and whispered nasty descriptions of what she saw as the MMO greedily took control of me.  I was drowning in profoundly intense orgasmic sensation.  I struggled to breathe as she relentlessly pinched my nipples and tenderly squeezed my cock with the muscles of her pussy.

The orgasmic spasms were pounding inside of me with the regularity of a massive clock works.  Each pounding spasm caused an echo of riveting euphoria to spread through my body.  Each rich resonant spasm caused the next euphoric echo to resound again.  Over and over the pleasure waves crushed my will as they milked my prostate and fanned the flames of my ardor.  The heat of her pussy seemed to urge and guide the MMO in a way that I have never experienced. 

Her body had taken over mine.  She was clearly in control of my MMO now.  In the seven years I have been experiencing MMO’s my body or my mind was always in control.  Not now.  She had domain over my orgasm, and she knew it.  She played my rapture like a puppet master dangling me on a string, my cock was the string that she held with a grip of iron.  She could feel my cockhead pulsing helplessly her pussy as she exhorted my nipples to harden even more. 

She looked into my eyes; in my orgasmic daze I realized she could see my anguished confusion as I was overwhelmed by the chains orgasmic waves.  I felt the orgasm grip me and hold me as rapture filled me.  I struggled to cope with the powerful spasms that were increasing in their intensity; I struggled to support them with my breathing.  My nipples were on fire as she taunted them and pushed me harder and harder to the edge of my sanity.

The spasms drilled into me relentlessly pushing me higher and higher testing my body’s ability to experience orgasmic pleasure.  I cling to J’s thighs as she pushed me further than I thought I could endure.  Then in a melodic crescendo I broke through the clouds in a starburst of cascading pleasure spasms;  they made me whine in delirious surrender.   The contractions gripped  my anus and entered it creeping deep into my anal canal to wrap around my prostate and squeeze it. Then as my prostate quivered in response to a delicate invasion the tingling spasm crept down to the tip of my cock deep inside her pussy leaving a trail of tingling delight in the core of my penis.  Then the spasm gripped my cockhead and entered  back into my cock slit to travel back up to my prostate and pierce it once more and then to ripple down my anal tract to make my anus quiver in another pleasurable contraction.

For 20 minutes she played me as if I was her instrument, eliciting from me mysterious silent music that only I could hear.  Each chorus she played on me expressed itself in myriad sensations, spasms, rhythms and echoes.   She stopped teasing my nipples (she told me later) only because she feared that I was going to have a heart attack if she sustained the MMO.

During the almost thirty minutes of excruciating MMO pleasure she sat motionless nursing on my cock with her pussy.  When she stopped pleasuring my nipples she committed to bring the session to a wet ending by sucking the cum from me in an ejaculatory climax.  She began to grind her clit on my pubic bone and rock her pelvis back and forth as she held my cock in her canal.  Her thrusts tugged on my cock, making my perineum tense and begin to MMO.  But she had other plans, she was going to milk me to finish me.  She raised her pussy off my pubic bone a few inches and thrust back down again squeezing it as she raised herself, effectively milking me.  Over and over again she repeated her tugging squeezing as she tried to suck the cum from me.  The sensation was beyond description.

My prostate and balls were primed and full of cum and desperate for release.  I couldn’t last long under her skillful manipulation, and I didn’t.  As her pussy artfully milked the cream of my desire from my aching balls and from the quivering gland inside of me my anus flexed and my prostate convulsed violently expelling a thick hot rope of cum deep into her pussy.  Again and again a third time I pissed my steaming load into her.

When it was over my ears were ringing my anus was gently pulsing and my cock shuddered the aftershocks of orgasm as it softened and fell out of her.

She lay back on my chest and I put my arms around her.  We had come to this milestone point together and MMO would never be the same again.

As I sat there I savored the comfort of being home.  I also savored the pleasant ache that gripped my cock.  The drive home had been a continually unfolding series of erotic vignettes.  Sometimes I think that my sensual nature is a curse.  At my age I should be consumed with travel, golf or fishing or tennis not the erotic sensuality of women and the sweet anguish of arousal.  But then I counter that guilt with the thought that wrapping myself in sensual thought is a deeply spiritual experience that links my mind and my body in euphoric desperation.  I am glad for who I am.

So I gathered all my gear, suitcases, computer etc in an armload and went in the house.  The warmth of the hallway as I entered was like an embrace from a lover.  A sigh of reassurance washed through me.  The welcoming warmth of the house was enhanced by the smell of a roast in the oven.  It has become sort of a tradition that an elaborate meal awaits me when I have been on the road for a while.  I really enjoy the change as I do 90 percent of the cooking in the normal week; it is nice to have dinner waiting when I come in.

The third punch in the one two three knockout was J standing in the living room waiting to greet me.  The greeting was a gentle lingering kiss.  The erection that had been taunting me for the last 3 hours had subsided to a semi erection in the driveway suddenly hardened to rigid attention with that kiss.  Her kisses are so powerful and magical.  They can harden my cock in a matter of minutes.  When we make love I can with hold ejaculation for extended amounts of time to allow her the slow build up to slide in a gully of bliss; however all it takes is a kiss and I am done for.  I cannot withhold orgasm in response to her kisses; a gentle kiss opens the gates of my orgasm and makes me flood her vaginal canal with hot cum.  When I MMO in her arms she knows that a sweet kiss with amplify the orgasmic waves to an excruciatingly divine level.

Standing there kissing her and not wanting to part lips not only turned my cock to stone but it made my cockslit weep in sensual delight.

A wonderful dinner followed and the very welcome chatter of catching each other up on the events and conversations of the last few days.  When we had gone through the litany of news about siblings, kids and her dad I returned the volley with reports of meetings and projects and places.  Dinner transitioned to coffee on the couch and a cuddle. 

Although it was only 8:30 PM we didn’t turn on the TV to pass the time away.  Loading the dishes in the dishwasher we went upstairs to shower and celebrate the evening with sex.  As I unpacked she went in the shower.  By the time I had put everything away she was done and downstairs drying her hair.  Before she came back up I went in the shower and hastily washed up.  I shaved my package really carefully and closely, I love the increased erotic sensitivity of bare ball sack skin.

When I came back to bed she was under the covers with her bare shoulders showing.  Bare shoulders meant only one thing, she was sans nightgown.  My libido which was already idling at 2000 rpm’s revved at the sight of her bare shoulders and what they told me.

I slid into bed next to her and wasted no time in re establishing the sweet kiss that we enjoyed in the living room a few hours earlier.  However there is something serenely erotic about kissing her when we are naked and my cock is throbbing on the soft skin of her inner thigh.  I got lost in that kiss.  It wiped all thought from my mind and grabbed my consciousness and pulled it into the sensual warm caress of her femininity.  Her sexual desire filled my head and plucked at the ligaments of my steely hard penis deep inside me.  I could feel my prostate swelling and hardening deep in my anus.

J is a very modest women, she always has been.  Asking for sexual pleasure or guiding me what to do to enhance her experience of orgasm or to help her build her arousal is not typical for her.  She finds it very hard to do.  However when she is feeling particularly randy or her arousal is at fevered pitch she will over come her reticence.  When she does it is a huge turn on for me.

When we couple there is a subtle un choreographed dance that we do which is accompanied by unspoken signals of what is in store for both of us; it is a benefit of years of shared sexual pleasure.  Sometimes just a slight nod or subtle body language will tell me what she wants.  But sometimes she is more direct.  That night directness seemed to be the order of the evening.

Breaking our kiss she put her hand on my shoulder and gently rolled me onto my back.  Then without so much as a minutes interval she got onto her knees and grabbed the top of the head board like it was a set of motorcycle handle bars and she swung her leg over my chest and inched herself forward to bring her lovely pussy with in inches of my face.

She had shaved the opening to her vagina and trimmed the hair around it so that it framed her lips elegantly.  She knows that I love to see her pussy that way.  The voyeur in my kicked into gear and I gazed at her beautiful vulva in absolute awe.  It never appears humdrum to me; it always looks with an elegantly erotic flower.  Georgia O’Keefe images flashed through my mind.  And like a flower her scent radiated from her pink dewy petals to drift into my nostrils.  It was the scent of her arousal; her desire had wet her pussy lips and made the mouth of her vagina open in a silent plea for stimulation and penetration.

Putting my hands on the soft cheeks of her derriere I pulled her warm lush opening to my lips.  Her outer lips were swollen with lust revealing the tender silken petals of her inner lips.  Her inner lips are short and very delicate; it is very easy to part her to access the ripe rich warmth of her opening.  Raising my head slightly I opened my lips slightly and surrounded her opening with them, kissing her gently.  The pearlescent honey of her arousal was dripping from her pussy mouth.  As my lips engaged the smooth satin flesh of her feminine core her sweet honey coated my lips.  As I kissed her wantonly open pussy mouth I inhaled the thick warmth of her arousal.  The steamy lush heat of her sexuality filled my mouth, it was like the heady dense smoke of a hookah.  I could taste the aroma of her arousal on my tongue. 

Keeping one hand on a cheek I slid the other hand to her crease.  My middle finger parted her cheeks and found her tight puckered hole.  Deftly sliding my finger to her anus I teased it with my fingertip, gently massaging it and tickling it causing it to spasm and clamp closed in response.

Dipping my tongue into the throat of her pussy hole I teased the tender flesh and licked the sweet nectar that was now dripping from her.  Slowly she began to thrust her pelvis, rubbing her open on my tongue.  She reached down and held my head to her pussy with one hand as she rocked back and forth. I opened my eyes and took in the erotic show that I was a performer in. 

With my finger over the tight hole of her anus prodding it gently and her hand holding my mouth to her pussy I tiled my head up a little farther to wrap my lips around her now erect clit.  Sealed in the suction of my lips I drew her clit into my mouth and wrapped my tongue around the under side of her glans.  Then gently at first I began to suckle on her clit.  In seconds the rocking of her pelvis stopped as she held stock still.  I could hear her breathing getting choppy as she began to mumble quietly sharing a description of the pleasure that was tightening up in her pussy with the non existent men that stood in darkened room around our bed watching her in the throes of orgasmic build up.

She pressed my mouth against her hardened clit, I responded by sucking it harder and massaged her glans with my rough tongue; stroking her rigid clit with the flat of my tongue as I held it firmly in the suction of my mouth pushed her closer and closer to her release.  Her murmuring grew more incoherent as the pressure of agonizing pleasure filled her pussy.  It was so intense she stopped breathing and grunted as the orgasm finally arrived.  She announced it with a groaning mewl as it drilled into her pussy.  I felt her anus contracting and releasing on my finger which was now in her anus to the second knuckle.  She shuddered as the sweet agony of orgasm rhythmically squeezed her pussy and made her tense her butt cheeks as her cream flowed from the warm mouth of her sex hole.

She rode the orgasm until all that remained of it was the pleasant quivering of tingling aftershocks.  When it was done she let go of my head and fell back wards on the bed with her legs open in the vulgar elegance of a sexually satisfied woman.  Her pussy was red and swollen, engorged with orgasmic pleasure. 

She lay with her head at my feet as she relished the warm glow of post orgasmic bliss.  I reached down and began to stroke her tummy as she lay there; I made lazy circles around her bellybutton.

I have become an extremely patient man relative to my own orgasm.  I can wait hours or days if need be to feel the anguished release of my own sexual tension.  I have learned to savor the pleasant desperation of extreme arousal.  My cock and perineum were taught and hard.  My balls were tight against me as if they were ready for orgasm.  I could feel the knot of intense arousal deep inside my anus.  I lay there wallowing in the urgent sensuality of the moment with my fingertips exploring her skin.

I don’t remember how long we lay there, but it was long enough that my steel shafted cock softened to a graceful arc laying on my belly.  I dozed into half sleep for a bit as the next thing I knew she had gotten up to go the bathroom to pee.

When she came back I was awake and alert; the desperation of arousal had faded.  I felt intensely sexual but not in a hurry.  When she came back in the room she hit the on button of the radio.  Our wake up music of the classical public radio station provided elegant ambience for what I knew was next.

She laid down on the bed perpendicular to me with her head resting on my thigh looking up at my semi flaccid cock. I love showing myself to her whether I am soft or hard.  It’s the exhibitionist in me.  So as I lay there shamelessly letting her gaze at my cock from several inches away my heart speeded up as the intimacy and the lewdness of the moment captured my thoughts.

Cupping my balls in her warm hand I felt them respond to the heat of her palm, releasing and hanging loose.  She caressed them tenderly and held them for quite a while as I felt them rolling in the warmth of her grasp.  After a while she removed her hand to let them fall between my thighs.  They weren’t left for long as she pushed my legs apart by putting her hands on my knees as she guided me to open them.  She then reached to get her pillow and slid her hand under my ass urging me to raise my backside off the mattress.  While I suspended myself she stuffed her pillow under me, raising my crotch five or six inches off the bed.

Then as she knelt at my side she gingerly held my penis aside and lowered her mouth to engulf my balls in the warmth of her mouth.  The sensation of the heat and wetness of her mouth sucking on my balls began the process of stiffening my cock.  As she savored my tender nuts in the soft thin skin of my ball sack the arousal began to bubble deep inside of me.  Slowly my cock crawled up my belly as the warm wetness of her mouth reignited my arousal.  However the gentle suckling of my balls added a relaxing dimension to the arousal that was now tugging at my cock. 

I laid there passively enjoying the caress of her tongue.  I felt my mind softening as I surrendered my balls to her insistent mouth.  My legs were totally relaxed and open.  Suddenly I felt her finger at the thresh hold of my anus.  Slowly she wiggled it in me.  Her fingers are so slender that she was able to slip it in me with minimal effort.  My anus has become very orgasmic with my growing skill at MMO.  The penetration of her finger triggered a series of light spasms of my anus, I recognized them as the spasms that ramp up my arousal to the resonating pleasure of MMO.  However before I could settle myself into the familiar groove of MMO I felt her mouth abandon my balls. The cold air on them made them retreat into my body in seconds.  There was no time to react to the shriveling of my balls as the calming caress of them was replaced by the wet heat of her mouth on my cockhead. 

Getting my cock sucked is distinctly different than getting my balls sucked.  There is a tension and a intensity to feeling her lips around my helmet and her tongue massaging my frenulum as she sucks the precum from me like my elongated cock was a soda straw.  As she sucked and massaged my cockhead the arousal wound up deep in anal canal.  Tighter and tighter and tighter it got, incrementally making it harder and gharder to sustain the passive role I had been in moments earlier. 

I arched my back and stiffened my legs as the relentless suction on my cockhead threatened to suck my soul from me though the anguished rigid shaft of my penis.  She wiggled her finger in my asshole as she sucked the hypersensitive underside of the tip of my cock.  I clenched her finger with my anus as the anguish of arousal turned to the agony of pending ecstasy. 

With her finger now fully inside my anus massaging my swollen prostate and her mouth locked on my cockhead I was trapped.  The pleasure was excruciating, more than I could endure.  With the pressure of pending orgasm expanding inside of me and being impaled on her finger and trapped by her mouth there was nothing I could do but release in her mouth.  I groaned in the awkward inelegance of a man overcome by orgasm.  The cum streamed from deep inside of me; rope after rope of steaming hot cum filling her mouth as I shuddered under the demanding insistence of the orgasm.  I was streaming cum as hard as I could until after several spurts there was no more to give her.

My cock softened as she released it from her mouth.  Sometimes she will swallow my cream and other times she won’t.  For some reason this time she did. 

I collapsed on the bed in the peaceful exhaustion of post orgasmic rapture.  She climbed back up to my pillow and kissed me.  I tasted the pungent sweetness of my cum on her warm breath.  Increasingly I am finding that to be more and more arousing.

It was late and we were both exhausted.  As I lay there she grabbed a hand towel that she brought with her from the bathroom and wiped the stray cum from my cock head and threw it on the floor.  Covering up we cuddled together and drifted off to sleep.

As I drove through fields and villages I thought about the very pleasurable orgasmic sessions I had experienced the previous two nights.  As I drove along listening to lilting orchestration, I thought of the erotic and steamy rapture that engulfed me and penetrated my anus in the dark quiet of the hotel room.  As memories of the previous two evenings drifted into my mind my arousal responded by hardening my cock; the sensual warmth of arousal began to suck on my cockhead as I recalled the euphoric pleasure that was wantonly lapping my swollen cock only hours earlier.  Indeed the last few sessions that I have had have been very intensely euphoric ones.  The throbbing in my pants as I drove was resulting in the sensation of warm wetness on my belly.  Erotic memories were making precum drool from my cock as I drove; I looked down to make sure I wasn’t making a big wet spot on my pants.  I wasn’t ……yet.

As I savored the arousal that now had a firm grip on my cock I thought about the desire that fueled the session last night and the nature of sexual desire itself.  Desire is amazing; it is both a desperate physical and a very spiritual mental experience.  As the music on the radio rose to a gentle thrill chills ran down my spine.  The sensation of desire gripped me.  I thought of that desire as a craving.  A craving that inflames my thoughts and makes my penis rigid with need; but the more I thought about craving I decided it lacks the desperation and the urgent physical sensation that comes with gripping arousal.  Then after a few minutes I realized what the perfect metaphor for sexual desire was …. thirst.

The thirst for water is like the thirst for erotic pleasure.  It is a dire and desperate physical need for satisfaction; a lust thirst that makes my cock ache and my prostate throb.  At the same time it is a longing deep inside my core that can only be slaked by the warm agonizing ecstasy of orgasm. 

I thought about my multiples being more distinctly different than a wet orgasm in J’s pussy.  Multiples modulate pleasure in waves that flow one into the next rising and falling in intensity.  They create a sensation of filling up with pleasure; my anus offers itself as the opening into which the pleasure of a multiple flows.  The spasms of anal orgasm make my anus flex and open as if gulping pleasure as it flows into me.  The erotic pleasure that flows into me does not cascade like a wet orgasm instead it rises and lessens gradually providing a sensation of floating on orgasmic bliss as it ebbs and flows.  By manipulating my thoughts and my body I make the pleasure raise to a quivering crescendo that sends shock waves of ecstasy though me.  The pleasure waves stiffen my nipples, make my cock lurch, my prostate pump and my cockhead pulse as precum dribbles from my anguished slit.

A wet orgasm in J’s pussy is a progression towards falling off a cliff.  As I climb a long set of stairs each step raises my arousal to test my ability to endure it. As the pleasure grows it hardens my cock and my nipples and makes my skin tingle.  When the pleasure reaches the limits of my ability to sustain physical control of my cock and my prostate release happens.  Release is like falling weightless into space.   The release of my steamy ejaculate in the warm embrace of her pussy is rewarded with the deeply satisfying sensation of pumping thickened pleasure from deep inside me.  In the intense agony of extreme pleasure my hot cream streams into the pit of her vagina where it collects in a steaming bubbling pool. 

Ironically in J the warm wet pulsing deposition of my cream in her pink hot depths is usually what ignites her orgasm.  My reward is her orgasm which rhythmically caresses my cock as it makes her canal spasm.  The gentle milking of my cock by her orgasm during the last throes of my own orgasm initiates a second volley of pleasurable spasms of my prostate.  In the waning moments of my crescendo I am teased to pulse anew as I shudder in response the teasing request of her pussy sucking on my hypersensitive cockhead.

Somehow the miles have drifted by me and I am almost home.  My cock is aching and hard in my pants.  The large wet spot in my pants is showing very clearly.  I will need to be discrete as I enter the house.  But maybe I won’t be.  My wet spot is my badge of desire, awarded in the mental battlefield that is my sexuality.

As I turn the corner to my house I hope that J has missed me as much as I have missed her.  I imagine her lips around my cockhead sucking the cum from me like a calf sucking cream from a teat.  The cycle of arousal in my anguished mind begins again.

There are times when I think that emotional pain is an overpowering thing;  it kills my passion, my creativity and my sex drive.  It can literally take control of me and rob me of my ability to experience or feel anything; the first to wither is my sexual desire.  When I think of it in this context, sexual desire is like a flower that needs perfect conditions to thrive and bloom.  In the presence of emotional pain it desiccates and withers, its petals cast off to blow away in the wind of anguish that killed it.  Yet at other times I think just the opposite that desire and lust can grow out of pain. That sexual love becomes a safe haven to reestablish what is important to me and reaffirm why I am alive.

Certainly people in the S and M community know that the threshold between physical pain and sexual pleasure is finite.  The closer one gets to that threshold the more blurred the line becomes and the less one cares where it is.  I have learned this last week that the same applies to emotional pain and erotic pleasure.  Sex has been off the table for me for many days since this tragedy in our family.  A hiatus of weeks with no mmo and no partner sex is very unusual for me.  But in all fairness I wasn’t in the mood.  But there was a turn of events that set the stage for J and I to seek the solace of sharing sexual passion as a means to try and put the world sight and seek ways to strengthen our relationship to get through this time.

This sexual journey I am on has been a string of revelations year after year, documented in notebooks and blog entries.

In light of that it somehow seems appropriate for me to use this 100^th entry to acknowledge the emotional loss of last week and the diminished sex drive in the face of  a pain that put me into the depths of despair but at the same time ignited the passionate force that binds  J and I together.  Writing is also a balm for me.  I thought I would stay away from this for an extended period of time, but I can’t, just as I couldn’t stay away from sex.

Friday night we had tickets to a local college production of “Our Town”.  We had bought them well before the loss described in the previous post.  In that we had the tickets we assumed it would be a good diversion.  Neither of us could cry anymore.  We had run out of tears. 

For those who have not seen it, “Our Town” is about the appreciation of life and savoring the beauty around us, among several other themes.  The closing act deals with death, patience and values.  It was a fitting thing for us to watch in light of where we were. 

The theatre is two short blocks from our house, so we walked.  When the play was over at 9:30PM we decided to stop and pick up some coffee and to go and walk to the park at the lake which is 3 long blocks from the theater.  So we sat on a bench over looking the water under a street lamp in the cool night air.  We didn’t say very much, we just sat and looked at the water reflecting the lights of the houses on the other side of the lake.  The surface of the lake was inky black and quiet, very similar to my thoughts.  A mating pair of geese were floating in the water in front us.  I wondered what troubles they shared.  Maybe they were planning their nest and worrying about the outrages that their young ones that  would be facing in the cruel world. 

Then I thought about the play we just saw and concluded that these beautiful sleek creatures were probably just enjoying the dark quiet of the night and each others company, just like we were.  There is great solace being with one you love when life is provoking your happiness.  I felt very peaceful sitting there with my arm around J.  When you have been with someone for so long silent handholding or cuddling can say so much more than words.  So she put her head on my shoulders and cuddled against me to fit off the spring chill that hung in the air. 

My mind wandered to our kids so far away hoping that they were finding some solace at that moment as we were.  They have a good marriage and this tragedy has brought them together in a major way.  I was gratified thinking that that was a worthwhile gain for this awful loss.

Then unexpectedly J raised her head from my shoulder and lifted her lips toward me, inviting a kiss.  Again from our years together, intuitively I knew that was what she needed now more than anything.  Like a trout swimming in the still water, I sensed the delicate temptation of her desire alighting on the still quiet surface of my consciousness.

Our lips merged.  Her warm soft lips expressed her femininity in a subtle but powerful way.  I lingered on them sharing the breath of her desire, drawing it into my lungs like the heady smoke of an exotic drug.  We kissed sweetly, dwelling on the intoxicating effect that our kiss was having on both of us.  There was something so public and daring about this kiss.  Despite the darkness we were illuminated by the lamp above us.  Kisses like the one we shared are usually reserved for the privacy of our bedroom, this was very public.  It was extremely romantic and we are both incurable romantics.

It was a kiss of hunger, a kiss to quell the pain of the weeks outrages;  a kiss that filled an aching void in me for reassurance.  I had a deep hunger to know that all was going to be ok.  My heart slowed.  At the same time her desire, adoration and passion for me remained on my lips like sweet wine; my cock erected in response to resonating passion that was filling me up.  Indeed in the midst of the loving merger of our lips the peace and arousal rose in me in equal measure.

When we broke that magic connection I sighed.  After sitting and savoring the sensation that was wrapping around me for a few minutes,  we got up and walked home, hand in hand.  The streets were quiet.  The only sound was coming from the patio of theInnon the corner near the park, where a guitar player sang plaintively of places traveled, loves lost and time gone by.  We walked silently by, trying to avoid thinking of our own loss and time past.

She had ignited a tiny flame in me; it was that old familiar flame of desire.  As I felt it flickering inside of me I welcomed it like an old friend, unseen for too long a time.   As we walked the flame grew and grew.  At this bitter moment, her sweet kiss had kindled a need for her.  Not the need that could be satisfied by a kiss but a need to be with her, be in her and be a part of her.  I felt guilty that I was feeling this need to make love to her and seek the succor of her warm delicate sexuality.  But I could not help it. 

When we got home we both showered and met in the bedroom in our robes, ready for bed.  As she took her robe off to retrieve her nightgown I went her and embraced her and whispered: “no night gown now please”.  I opened my robe and wrapped it around her pressing her naked body against mine.  Her skin was warm against me.  My cock was stiff and extended out from me; as I wrapped the flap of the robe around us and drew her to me my cock pressed against her belly. 

I put my hand behind her head and guided her lips to mine again.  I felt the cinders of passion rise in me and heat my desire to steam. My cock filled with the hefty weight of passion, it lengthened and hung from my groin as it remembered this welcome sensation of desire realized.   She melted in my arms, I felt her body relax and fall against me.  Her legs struggled to keep her up and maintain the divine connection to my passion.  I held her up and kissed her gain, this time not delicately but like a lion who had pounced on a helpless gazelle and was devouring her. Obviously I did not rip flesh from her, instead I stripped the distraction of emotional pain, worry and the distraction of guilt for not being with her child at a time of need.  Especially I ripped away her self consciousness and her vulnerability;  all that was left of her  was the barest essence of love for me and the delicate blush of her own feminine need to be loved, cherished, reassured and cared for.  It was a desire to seek the familiar balm of my love.

My cock was drooling and throbbing and heavy with lust.  As the kiss deepened I felt as if I was drinking cool water in the parching sun.  I sucked in her desire like it was going to keep me alive, and it was.  I drank it in big gulps as I held her and drained her of all distraction leaving her panting in desire.

I reached down between her thighs to massage her wetted pearl.  My finger found her pussy mouth swollen and open, drooling with the same slick hunger that was seeping from the slit in my cock.  I made little circles around it reveling in the warm wet honey that was oozing from her swollen lips.  Her pelvis began to gyrate following the path of my finger.  Our lips were still merged but suddenly she stopped kissing me and she groaned into my mouth.

I freed her lips and she immediately buried her face in the crook of my neck.  I held her tightly and changed my circular massage of her hardened nub to a stroking motion under her glans, occasionally plucking her clit like it was a guitar string that would sound sweet notes, and it did.  She moaned quietly acknowldging the sensation vibrating in her.

She usually needs penetration to cum, but she didn’t now. In it cruel and kind way her pain had prepared her for the agonizing sweet experience of impassioned sexual love.  The bathrobe fell away from both of us and I dropped to my knees before her, like a pliant subject worshipping at an altar.  It was the only altar I ever cared about, the most sacred place I ever want to be in.  I put one hand on one of her cheeks holding her as if her bum was the bottom of a jug of wine and I was tilting the jug to decant the sweetest brew from it.  I was decanting her passion, and she began to rock against my face to give me all that she could. 

Her hand was on the back of my head pushing my lips into her flower and grinding against my face.  This sensation that was taking control of her was so raw and sensual that she accommodated it not gently but with the aggressive pursuit of a woman enraged with anguish, who was intent on vanquishing that anguish with agonizing pleasure.  Nothing mattered to her more now that the experience of sexual pleasure.

I pursed my lips in a the shape of an O and pressed then against the hardened fleshy nub at the top of her pussy and drew it into my lips.  I suckled it with love and desire.  I drew on it as if it were the source of a mysterious ointment to heal my pain and the ache of sexual desire that was hanging and throbbing between my thighs.   

Her erected clit was exposed from under its little hood; it had exposed itself blatantly to seek relief from the divine ache that stiffened it. and began to draw on it as if it was going to yield milk.  I wrapped my tongue around it and began to stroke the underside of it with my tongue.  Her legs began to tremble and she left out a groaning growl that was followed by pelvic thrusts that told me an orgasm was winding up deep inside her drooling pussy with a ferocity and willfulness that was robbing her of all coherent thought.  I know her response so well.  Her quivering canal was open welcoming the delicious tension that was winding up inside of her as I massaged her clit  with the warm wet surface of my tongue.   I slid my finger into her gapping mouth and began to stroke the roughen patch inside her pussy, I felt it crinkle up and swell under my finger.  As it did, she leaned forward on my shoulders to steady her self as she welcomed ecstasy with the gratitude of a starving woman at a feast. 

The orgasm drilled into her with sweet vengeance, causing her legs to shake and her ass to tense up and clench as she pushed against the dual provocation of my finger and my tongue as they tantalized her most secret sensual places and coaxed her to accept the white hot anguish of orgasmic relief.

As the waves of ecstasy pounded on her she succumbed and visited that euphoric place that she goes in her mind when orgasmic power takes over her body and transports her to a place inside herself that is hidden in the recesses of her consciousness.  She feebly steadied herself by putting her hand on my shoulders while she humped my face with abandon as the crescendo of exquisite sensation squeezed her pussy, and made her honey drip in a stream as her climax crested and waned.

I stood up and guided her weakened legs to the bed where I pulled the covers over us both. 

She lay there next to me still woozy from the climax that just consumed her.  I stroked her head, running my fingers through her hair and kissing her forehead. She began to kiss my neck and whisper the quietest affirmations of adoration as she ran her fingers through my chest hair, deliberately finding my nipples with her middle finger.  With the delight of a child finding a long forgotten toy she teased them to erection.  She knows the power of my nipples in my erotic consciousness.   Each flick of my hardened brown nub detonated a shock wave of desperately exquisite sensation deep inside my asshole that spread across my body eliciting chills of pleasure on my skin. 

In a matter of moments I felt the sensation a large pulsing hot rock forcing its way past my asshole, pushing deep into my rectum.  That rock was rhythmically throbbing, each pounding spasm leaving a pounding echo of pleasure that reverberated inside of me.  The echoes were getting louder and more resonant as they clustered.  The base of my cock began to throb with the metronome beat of the arousal that was thrumming inside my anal canal.

Sensation was flicking my rectum now.  My anal opening was tingling as if tiny delicate fingers were teasing it and tantalizing it.  In response it began to contract and release as if it was trying to grasp the willful pleasure that was taunting it.  As the tongue of sensual desire flicked at my opening, I felt the pleasure creeping into me, tracing a path to the prize, the swollen throbbing gland deep inside my canal.

I embraced J with the desperate of a drowning man lost in a sea of overwhelming ecstasy.  The sensations were rushing into my anus and making my prostate beat a heavy rhythm of building multiple orgasm.  At the same time my cock was absorbing the heat and eroticism of her femininity.

She broke my embrace and lifted her body to lay on top of me, pressing my cock against her belly.  As I held her I experienced an embrace that was as erotic and sensual as any sexual experience or orgasm I had ever had.  My adoration for her was total.  

Lost in the haze of emotions I suddenly was snapped back to reality to find her straddling my thighs with my cock lodged in her warm pussy mouth. Only moments earlier those lush lips had kissed my own mouth.   Deftly she pushed herself down onto my spike, forcing it past her wet lips.  I felt my cockhead slide into her effortlessly.  I was home. 

The sensation of sliding into her was divine.  A sensation of warmth and love spread across me.  She leaned over and whispered her adoration in my ear as I impaled her.  I was suddenly overcome with the heat of her deepest more secret place and the warmth of her breath in my ear as she filled my head with loving and filthy images.  Instead of feeling like I was going to fill her with my cum, I felt as if my cock was absorbing her desire and her adoration.  I was being filled with lust from both my cock and my ass.

We have made love literally thousands of times.  This time was different.  As I penertrated her I felt that I was one with her, that our pleasure was truly being shared and we were drinking pleasure and passion in equal measure from the same cup.

The sensation of building orgasm was a torrent rushing into me from both sides.  I felt a rope of pleasure that tied my cock head to my anus.  The spasms of ecstasy that were expanding and tugging at my asshole, simultaneously tugged at my cock.  The syncopated rhythm of sweet anguish had laid claim to my sex organs.  And still I could feel the springs of orgasmic tension continuing to tighten inside of me.

Not satisfied with their dominion over my cock and asshole the waves of building pleasure continued to rush into my asshole and cock and fill my entire body.  My skin was tingling and my heart was racing; every muscle in my body was tingling in anticipation.

My cockhead was deep inside her; I felt the warm wet caress of her deepest most feminine place embracing my swollen head.  In response to her tender caress of my stiffened shaft, my cockhead gave her deepest most sensual place soft safe kisses.  I felt that I was kissing her soul.

As reality drifted away I sensed that my body was melting into her pussy and that the smoldering pleasure that was filling my body was her pleasure.  I imagined that I ceased to exist and that the orgasms that were winding up in me were not mine but hers.  And as the waves crested inside my asshole and cascaded into seemingly relentless strings of euphoric sensation, I imagined that I was her orgasm.  My body was now in her possession and that my body was nothing more than her pleasure. 

I was fully in a sea of multiple orgasms, tethered to the source of the pleasure, her wanton pussy by my cock.  As I was tempest tossed in the recurring crescendos of sweet anguish my mind went back into the haze of euphoria. I lay there and surrendered to the tsunami of seething hot erotic sensation that was rising around me and inside of me.  I was immobilized by the rising and falling tide of orgasmic pleasure and I became one with that pleasure. 

As the MMO’s rushed into my asshole,  it convulsed as it greedily accepted them.   I clung to her and shuddered over and over again.  The long fingers of her pleasure were deep in my anal cavity and they were coaxing stroking and squeezing my anguished prostate.  It relinquished its pleasure and wept a stream of precum in her pussy.  The spasms did not let up, they continued for some amount of time.  I lost track as they drove me deep and deeper into euphoric haze.

Dozens and dozens of searing spasms took control of me.  My world consisted of the pleasure that was washing and out of my body through my convulsing asshole.  I felt was the steaming passion of orgasmic sensation and J’s soft sexy body as I held onto her as the only cherished object that I needed.  I shuddered and quivered and groaned and stiffened in the multiple crescendos that pounded me.

I drifted from crashing wave to crashing wave on this sea of sensation until J began to fear that I might have a heart attack.  She began to stroke my head and urge me to calm myself.  As consciousness filled my head I diverted my attention to the room around me and my sweet lady.

She got off of me and lay down next to me.  I breathed deeply and tried to calm the orgasmic spasms that continued to express their will on me in the absence of the caress of her pussy.  As I cooled down, the MMO’s retreated and left my anus buzzing.   She grasped my stiff cock in her hand, the hand that I admire for its slender delicacy.  My cock was slick with her cum and my precum.  The slippery coating that covered my reddened hard penis provided perfect lube for her hand to slide up and down my shaft with pauses at the apex of her strokes to make tiny circles under my cockhead, teasing my frenulum. 

I was so aroused from an hour of MMO pleasure that the path to ejaculation was a very short one.  In a few minutes the final orgasm reached deep into me and squeezed my seething prostate.  In response ropes of white pearlesent cum were hurled into the air to splash on my belly and the sheets as they found their way earthward.  I released a stream of hot passion that granted me welcome relief and put my boiling desire to peace.

 As I lay there exhausted and spent I felt closeness to her that I hadn’t felt for many months. 

That was three nights ago.  I sit here on Sunday afternoon recalling the heated passion of that night.  There alongside the recollection of passion shared is a deeper more meaningful thought.  It is the thought of her standing next to me yesterday as we were waiting at the doors for an event we were attending.  She was elegantly dressed in an ivory linen suit that displayed her long lithe body and her sensual femininity in a tasteful but sensual way.  I think how sophisticated she looked and how much I love her, no adore her.

As the warm memories of that night still resonate inside of me, I am reassured.   The retelling of the sensual evening we spent in each others arms has made my cock stiffen.   With the feelings of warm adoration glowing in me and the heat of sexual sensation still resonating in my rectum and cock, I know that everything is going to be ok.  Life is indeed returning to normal, and this 100^th post is proof positive.

If I come I have to scoop some of my cunt juice into my evening meal and mix it in.