Then Cupid next on vaulted beams
Quite hidden where the candles shade
With slender steel tip dipped in love
Pulled back the bow and aimed his blade:

“O Vulcan lance forged right for Mars
Sail straight and faithful- find thy prey!
Burn track through all this caverned air
And find a stony heart to slay.”

Pygmalion- who knelt below-
Was dashed by Cupid’s arrow high
Affection flooded all his vein
And new love forced a mystic sigh.

To: jimmyboyd@hotmail.com

From: tommieconnor@yahoo.com

Subject: New Songs

Jimmy,

Your voice and my lyrics are a winning combination and “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” is finally the big hit we knew it would be.

I’ve written a few more songs that I think might be even bigger.  Attached please find the lyrics to: “Cupid Slept Over Again Last Saturday,” “I’ve Got Pictures of Daddy and Saint Patrick Wrestling,” and “Mommy, Why Isn’t the Easter Bunny Wearing Any Pants?”

All right.  Everyone who has been on my case about publishing a new post, here you have it.  And yes, Adam, I am a terrible blogger.  I realize that I do, at some point, have to update my blog.  That is the whole point.

My current literary interest has been centered around the mythological story of Cupid and Psyche.  I was first introduced to this tale a year ago, during a study of neoclassical art, in which I became acquainted with Antonio Canova’s marble sculpture of the famous pair.

Such an embrace...

I finally learned the complete story of Cupid and Psyche after reading Apuleius’ The Golden Ass.  Contained in the work as sort of a centerpiece for the rest of the events of the story, this version of the tale of Cupid and Psyche is said to be the first recorded and the most complete.

I hate to poorly summarize such a beautiful story… So I will only describe my favorite scene:  Having been convinced by her evil, conspiring sisters that it is not normal for a wife to be forbidden to look upon the face of her own husband, Psyche disobeys her mysterious husband’s orders and lights a lamp to look upon him as he sleeps, revealing his yet unknown identity.  Psyche is expecting some terrible monster that would have eaten her in her sleep… What she finds in the lamplight is that her bedmate, the father of her unborn child, and her adoring husband is actually Cupid, the very god of love.  In her surprise, a drop of oil from the lamp falls onto Cupid’s shoulder, waking him, whereupon he realizes Psyche’s betrayal of his trust.  He is forced to leave her then, and goes up to heaven to heal his wounds.

The image Canova portrays in his sculpture comes later in the story, after Psyche has realized her wrong and has attempted to win the favor of Cupid’s mother, Venus, and regain her position with her beloved husband.  Psyche completes a series of tasks for Venus, but fails in the last one by opening a forbidden box that contained the powers of the Underworld.  She falls into a deep sleep, and would have lain there forever, if it were not for Cupid.  Unable to overcome his love for her, and daring the wrath of his goddess mother, Cupid seeks out Psyche and wakes her with a kiss and a prick from one of his arrows.

Psyche is accepted into heaven and given the gift of immortality.  She and Cupid live happily ever after, bearing a daughter, whom they name Joy.

The original perfect fairy tale ending…

(Oh, and Christopher, if you’re reading this, the magic words are “leaden circles…” You know the rest.)

So here’s my dilemma. I have the opportunity to go on a date with a guy fairly soon. My schedule is a bit hectic right now with school starting back up and with the holiday season here, I’m working more hours at my PT job. We’re trying to work out a time to go out…

So do I go?

Normally I’d say YES YES YES! He’s cute, younger than me, smart, no kids, steady good paying job, great emails. Everything that should normally interest me.

So what’s the problem?

He’s fucking boring on the phone. Like BOAR-RING. I could knit a sweater during the long pauses we have in our conversations. And his conversation, when we do have it, is.. you got it! BOAR-RING. Here’s an example. He knows I am an accountant. So what does he say? “So, uh, what do you do? Count stuff?” Really? Srsly?

I don’t know… Someone who can talk to me, who can keep up with me in conversation, who can keep me interested and on my toes.. THAT is who I want to go out with. Not someone who..

OH OH OH OH OH! I forgot to mention…

He hates bars. he hates meeting people in bars. Okay, who can’t empathize with that, right? Its not really all that convenient to meet people in a bar. BUT.. here’s the kicker. Aye, the rub, if you will! He has only been to TWO BARS IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE.

Pause for effect.
Knit a sweater.

TWO BARS. EVER. IN TWENTY-NINE YEARS.

Now.. those of you who a) know my family and b) knows what my family’s business is will find that HILARIOUS.
Those of you who don’t, well… let’s just say we usually have a beer cracked by 8:30am on Christmas morning.

So, yeah.

Am I judging too quickly? Should I just assume that he’s not good on the phone, but may be better in person, so let’s give it a shot? I mean honestly, I need some help here because look at this blog. my judgement isn’t the best obviously.

People are always telling me not to settle… but when do I kinda say “fuck it!” and settle a little bit? Like in this case…

Should I or shouldn’t I?

Feel free to ask questions about it, him or I. I’ll edit this post with my answers if you need them.

I’m leaving this up to the readers of the blog. If the majority think I should go, I will go.

So have at it!

Sunday. It was a nice feeling. Finally, a long break. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Everything was fine. Nothing really happened, but it was okay. Could it be due to the weather? I’m not sure. I don’t even remember if the weather was good or not those days. But my mood sure was good. Friday, again, everything seemed to be just fine. And yes it was. I had a wonderful and fulfilling time that evening. Meeting few of my ex-classmates and ex-schoolmates, I thoroughly missed the moment while at high school. Saturday, it was my cousin’s special day. I initially thought that it’s going to be one of those hectic day. Thank God I was totally wrong. It turned out to be one of the most wonderful day this year. Thank God again. Sunday. I guess we did lose some of our energy afterall. It was a rest day. Wow, it’s been ages since my last proper rest. Monday. Urghh.. Work again. I was feeling sleepy all day, but the mood was just fine. I was upbeat as usual. Thanks to that nice football match on the telly the previous evening. Result that is, not the performance. The performance was poor overall.  Tuesday and now, things took turn to worse, at least in term of emotion and inspiration. I’m not sure why, again, but suddenly, I can’t think of anything and I felt a bit helpless. I tried to do virtually everything just to feel okay again, but nothing seemed to help. Instead, it was getting worse by the hour. I tried to offer some jokes and words of comfort even to some of my friends who needed them, and again, it didn’t help.

Helpless, Drained

On a positive notes though, I finally dreamt. Yes, I finally dreamt. It shouldn’t be a big deal, not to you. But it is for me. At last. Incidentally, I dreamt on the very day I felt drained and helpless. Guess we can’t have everything huh?

For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh, So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. (Matt 19: 5,6)

Marriage, Matrimony

First off I want to thank everyone who made our baby shower such huge success. What a fun day!

A few weeks ago I had my baby shower. It was at a beautiful golf course with great food may I add.  We had a nice lunch and some delicious cake and then I got down to business…by opening presents of course! There were so many presents, it took me almost 2 hours to open them all.

Cupid received so many cute things, its hard to pick what was our favorites. He has so many adorable clothes now he is going to be the best dressed kid on the block.  I can’t wait until he gets here just to dress him.

Now we are in the process of organizing and decorating his room.  Ryan set the crib up and it is amazing. I put the pack -n-play and bouncer together and they are also so neat. Our little man is so lucky to have so many great things and we are so thankful for all the things he received during the shower.

One of Cupids many outfits

‘O Love, Love, that from the eyes diffusest soft desire, bringing on the souls of those, whom thou dost camp against, sweet grace, O never in evil mood appear to me, nor out of time and tune approach! Nor fire nor meteor hurls a mightier bolt than Aphrodite’s shaft shot by the hands of Love, the child of Zeus.

Idly, idly by the streams of Alpheus and in the Pythian shrines of Phoebus, Hellas heaps the slaughtered steers; while Love we worship not, Love, the king of men, who holds the key to Aphrodite’s sweetest bower,-worship not him who, when he comes, lays waste and marks his path to mortal hearts by wide-spread woe.’

“If you love someone, let them go. If they never come back, it’s because they are not truly yours..” Crap! Sure, I’ll let her go, if she is a bird.. Yupp, part of me feels like wanting to scream exactly that. Yes she is not a bird. She is just a ‘winged being’, an angel on earth, but for that same reason, I have to respect her decision anyhow. Not letting go could mean worse circumstances. So, I have to respect that. Bird or not.

“Life is fluid and trying to make it solid and stationary is foolish”. I have to agree with this. Not totally though. 85% maybe. Maybe.

When you’re single people love to suggest solutions. I hate dating, I think everyone does. There’s nothing comfortable about it.

At a certain point though, you feel like you at least have to try everything once. Even if it’s so those well meaning people in your life can’t accuse you of being too “picky.”

Here’s my story which was published in the November ‘09 issue of More Magazine.

Meet Your Match

A very touching and well drawn comic. I recommend!.

via Eros Inc. » Archive » I Found You.

Swine Flu.

Six months ago, it was just another fly-by-night disease with a funny animal name, following in the footsteps of such classics as Bird Flu and Monkey Pox.

Three months ago, it was a serious problem, but one that dwelled far away in the mystical land known as Somewhere Else.

Today, it is a mind-warping, logic-breaking, pain-in-the-curly-tail bastard of a disease, spawned from the putrid, unholy depths of the ninth circle of an apocalyptic lake of fire. I half-expect the next development in this living medical nightmare to include either flying monkeys in bell-hop outfits, or chain-rattling ghost pigs rising from some local farmer’s pig pen that was accidentally spread over an ancient Anglo-Saxon burial ground.

My school is seeing attendance in classes drop left and right as more and more students fall victim to the fevers, the coughs, the vomiting, and all the other wonderful things that this latest global catastrophe has to offer. It doesn’t help that the administration here is continuing to take the “let’s wait and see” approach even after having more than one confirmed case and a local doctor telling us that the school should be shut down. The humor in all this – or is it irony? – is that my wife, the Head Nurse at the school, is forced to remain at home this week and the next, this out of precaution because of her pregnancy. So she is out of the loop, unable to help. What is more, today I and several other teachers who have susceptible family members were asked to wear face masks and Latex gloves while working with students. Have you ever seen a dentist teach American Literature to smirking high school students? Had you been in one of my classes today, you would understand what such an absurdity might look like.

Right now, there is a lot that remains up in the air. The school might close, per the insistence of the Gesundheitsamt, one of Deutschland’s equivalents to the CDC. The school might remain open despite serious concerns. The school might mangle another week’s schedule by sending students to their dorms for the majority of next week, then calling them back for a Friday-Saturday catch-up. The school might be turned into the world’s first ham-from-humans processing plant. All I know is, I’ll most likely be at home, taking the “better safe than sorry” approach, watching movies with my wife and probably blogging more ridiculous wonderstuffs.

In the midst of all this, it is nice to know that love, affection, friendship and tenderness still exist. And when those four crazy cohorts are out to lunch, there remains the silly ritual of boys at Black Forest Academy creatively asking the girls to the upcoming Christmas Banquet. Below you can watch some of this awkward goofiness unfold in my very own classroom, as one of the members of my small group takes advantage of a poetry reading exercise to pop the question to his date. I told them I felt like Cupid, but really I feel like Cupid’s grouchy and “toof”-less Uncle Roy – the one who owns the ranch down the road from Mount Olympus. The one who is shaking his fist at the sky and cursing Zeus and his pals for making bacon so delicious. “If i’ weren’, we’d'n’ have no Swine Fwu ta bagin wif!”

This is another instance where coming up with a title for the toon took longer than drawing the toon itself. The sentiment is pretty self-evident. To some people there is no point to being in love. To others the point of love is really pointy and can lodge itself deep into vital organs causing massive trauma and blood loss. Pulling it out is even worse. And yet there is a third who just enjoy meaningless violence and bloods. Finally, there’s the fact that this toon could be a simple metaphor for leebert and tweed’s long and storied history of romantic failure. Ladies, you know who you are. Having said all of this, we’re still not sold on the title.

May the uprising not be pointless.

the point of love

Cupid, son of Venus, god of erotic love

Question: What is ‘Eros’ love?

Answer: Unlike English, which uses the word “love” interchangeably to mean many different things, Greek uses three words to describe the range of meaning that our word “love” conveys. The first word is eros, from which we get the English word ‘erotic.’ Eros is the word used to express sexual love, or the feelings of arousal that are shared between people who are physically attracted to one another. By NT times, this word had become so debased by the culture, that it is not used even once in the entire NT.

The second Greek word for love is phileo, which forms part of the words ‘philosophy’ (love of wisdom) or philanthropy (love of fellow man). This word more speaks of the warm affection shared between family or friends. Where as eros is more closely associated with the libido, phileo can be more associated with the emotions, or the heart (metaphorically speaking). I feel love for my friends, or I feel love for my family. Obviously not in the eros sense, but this is a love that motivates me to want to treat them kindly and help them succeed. However, phileo is not felt between people who are at enmity with one another. I can feel phileo love toward my friends and family, but not towards people whom I dislike or hate.

Different from both of these is the third Greek word for love, agapao. While semantically it shares many similarities with phileo, there are subtle differences. It is typically defined as the “self-sacrificing love.” It is the love that moves people into action and looks out for the well being of the other person no matter what the personal cost. Biblically speaking, agapao is the love God showed to his people in sending his Son, Jesus, to die for their sins. It is the love that focuses on the will, not the emotions or libido. This is the love that Jesus commands his disciples to show toward their enemies (cf. Luke 6:35). Eros and phileo are not expressed to people who hate us and wish us ill; agapao is. In Romans 5:8, Paul tells us that God’s love for his people was made manifest in that “while we were still sinners (i.e., enemies), Christ died for us.”

So from the base to the pure, we have eros, phileo and agapao. This is not to denigrate eros as sinful or impure. Sexual love is not inherently unclean or evil. In fact the Bible devotes one who book to the blessings of erotic, or sexual, love (The Song of Solomon). The love between a husband and a wife should be, among other things, an erotic love. However, a long term relationship based solely on erotic love is doomed to failure. The ‘thrill’ of sexual love wears off relatively quickly unless there is some phileo and agapao to go along with it.

Conversely, while there is nothing inherently sinful with erotic love, it is in this sphere of love that our sinful nature is made most manifest. Consider what the Apostle Paul tells his readers in the church of Colossae: “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry” (Colossians 3:5; emphasis added). The Greek word for “sexual immorality” is the same word from which we get ‘pornography’ (Gk. porneia), which essentially covers the gamut of sex sin (e.g., adultery, fornication, homosexuality, bestiality, etc.).

When shared between two marriage partners, erotic love can be a wonderful thing, but because of our fallen sin nature, eros quite frequently becomes porneia. When this happens, human beings tend to go to extremes — we either become ascetics or hedonists. The ascetic is the person who completely eschews sexual love because its association with sexual immorality makes it appear evil; and therefore must be avoided. The hedonist is the person who sees sexual love without restraint as perfectly natural (“if it feels good, it can’t be wrong.” “Make love, not war.”). As usual, the Biblical view is seen in the balance between these two sinful extremes. Within the bonds of heterosexual marriage, God celebrates the beauty of sexual love: “Let my beloved come to his garden, and eat its choicest fruits. I came to my garden, my sister, my bride, I gathered my myrrh with my spice, I ate my honeycomb with my honey, I drank my wine with my milk. Eat, friends, drink, and be drunk with love!” (Song of Solomon 4:16 – 5:1).

Someone Somewhere is Waiting For Me

Since childhood there were dreams in my eyes,

Of shining stars and of skies,

But along with time as I grew,

My childhood dreams were boundless too.

I left behind the chocolates and dolls,

I greatly awaited only a long call,

The call which would act like a love potion,

‘Coz it’s the disease which has no lotion.

My dreams moved up the hills,

Along with glamour, along with thrills,

Where people come just to hike,

But I knew that here the cupid’s arrow would strike.

Up above the hill so high,

Where flowers bloom and birds doth fly,

I saw someone standing handsome and tall,

Was he the one to give me the love call?

He held out his hand for me to hold,

I felt a little nervous, a bit too bold,

He engulfed me within his arms,

And I knew he was the one who had fascinated me with his charms.

Green Arrow & Black Canary #25
Written by Andrew Kreisberg
Art by Mike Norton
Co-Feature by Kreisberg
Art by Renato Guedes

This is one ugly book! What has happened to Norton’s art – has the inker changed! I can barely look at this comic. It is awful. In one panel, Dinah’s hair is short and the next it is long! What the hell! We find out that Cupid was a woman who murdered her husband and her real name is Carrie. It was funny to see her kidnapping men and dressing them up like Green Arrow. Other then that there was nothing great about the main feature because I didn’t want to look at it! The Co-Feature is about Speedy telling bedtime story to Lian Harper and it was cute and it was a sight for sore eyes to see Guedes’s art after the horror that was the main feature art.

Werbung für ein Steuerunternehmen:

By far one of my favorite songs of all time. This was my first song I ever heard from 112. At one time, cupid was the soundtrack of my life.

Fuck it.  Do you know what?  After listening to this track 5 times in a row, I’m going to shamefully admit that it’s not a guilty pleasure.  It is in fact going to be my first and final dance on my wedding day.  No.   Wait.  What are you talking about, Chris?  Remove that Cupid’s arrow from out your ass, turn off the soppy shit, step away from the slush and come out with your flowers up.  Seriously though, ignore the fact that he has a face you’d love to punch and just listen to the song.  Doesn’t the video’s depiction of walking along the beach, hand in hand with that special someone who you truly adore, want to make you fall in love all over again?  I know I do.  This song is a real tear jerker, but on different ends of the sad spectrum.  Its bittersweet emotion makes me want to cry anyway.

We made a pact to take the time
To get to know each other deep inside
No rushing in to cross the line
It may be a little old fashioned, but it felt so right

Been holding back for so long
What feels so right can’t be wrong
Baby, you can read it in my eyes
Let’s write the story of our lives tonight

Don’t be afraid, turn down the light
Baby, move in closer
It’s gonna be alright
This is the moment we’ll remember all our lives
Forever begins tonight

I know you’re feeling those butterflies
But let me tell you a secret, so am I
But it’s okay
Baby, it’s alright
Just follow our hearts now
What we feel inside
Yeah

Been holding back for so long
What feels so right can’t be wrong
Baby, you can read it in my eyes
Let’s write the story of our lives tonight

Don’t be afraid, turn down the light
Baby, move in closer
It’s gonna be alright
This is the moment we’ll remember all our lives
Forever begins tonight

And I know we will be one
When we see the morning sun

Don’t be afraid, turn down the light
Baby, move in closer
It’s gonna be alright
This is the moment we’ll remember all our lives
Forever begins tonight

Aseara am intat in casa pachet de nervi. Lasand la o parte esecul intalnirii am reusit sa scriu ceea ce mi-a fost dat sa traiesc si tot ceea ce imi doream era sa ma bag la somn cat mai repede cu putinta. Eram furioasa, furioasa pe societatea care a transformat barbatii in niste fetite chiunite de frigurile primului ciclu, furioasa pe societatea care a transformat femeile in niste mironosite fara pic de minte, societeatea care ne impune noua cum sa traim cuvincios. Si poate furioasa pe mine, cea care nu se poate supune unor reguli atat de absurde. Binecuvantata ignoranta!

Vroiam sa fac o baie, sa spal oarecum toata idiotenia care mi-a cuprins simturile, sa uit, sa sterg si sa dorm, insa mi-am auzit telefonul. Am incercat sa il ignor si sa imi contiunui planul insa el contiuna sa zbiere de pe fundul gentii in care il uitasem.

Era Cupid. Spun Cupid pentru ca el este un copil, mult mai mic decat mine, un strumf turbat fara griji, un indragostit vesnic. Am raspuns gandinu-ma ca poate imi va face bine, ca poate tocmai de o discutie cu acest romantic pervres mi-ar face bine.

Am sfarsit prin a face sex la telefon, prin a-i auzi pentru prima data fanteziile si gemetele. Of, daca pana acum nu am vrut sa mi-o trag cu el, orgasmul de aseara m-a convins ca ar fi cazul sa il incerc. Cel putin la vorbe este un maestru, iar gemetele lui paraca ar fi muzica divina… dar in mod sigur m-am cucerit cu un mms… e atat de perfecta, dreapta, mare… just right! Of!… din pacate trebuie sa mai am rebdare un pic de vreme pentru ca e plecat din oras, insa atunci cand va veni sunt sigura ca o sa fie divin. Dar pana atunci multumesc celui care a inventat telefonia mobia!

A few posts back I wrote about how our old couch was turning into a bottomless pit.  It was terrible and it was getting hard for me to get off of it.  So Ryan and I had a little chat about getting a new couch.  Well……

IT’S FINALLY HERE!!!

It is wonderful.  Firm but comfortable large enough for a few people to sit on and so much better looking then the bottomless pit.  We also purchased a sofa table that we intended to put behind the couch.  Unfortunately the couch was bigger than we thought and the table had to be moved.  It looks wonderful under this beautiful painting Ryan bought for me for a housewarming gift.  It’s like it was meant to go there.  We also get a chair and a half but that won’t be here for a few more weeks.  Our living room finally is starting to look like a home and not some thrown together room.  I am pretty sure Cupid is going to love it when he gets here.