I did it!

It was a most miraculous feat of daring, perseverance and suffering but i managed to finish reading the Da Vinci Code!! To be perfectly honest, Dan Brown will not make my all-time-fave-writer list, but i award him bonus points for making me laugh out loud whilst reading (though I doubt this was his intention). By half way through, I was marking all pages that contained the line “I’d forgotten until this very moment in time…” the words “epiphany” or “realisation” and those paragraphs including the careful product placement of a can of Coke or bottle of Perrier, a childhood flashback or an opportunity to make the woman look stupid. Needless to say, my book is looking a little dog-eared and ragged.

I was determined to finish the book: it had been bought and recommended to me by Trusty, and i really really wanted to get what he saw in it. I read on, with gritted teeth, ignoring the predictable storyline, the overuse of adjectives that didn’t quite hit the mark, painstaking narratives, sloppy dialogue, excruciatingly slow-moving pace and unbelievable characters. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not claiming to be able to write better than Dan Brown, I just know what I like to read and this formulaic clichéd pulp isn’t it.  So much of it made me cringe or wonder if the target audience was pre-teen boys. ( i almost tinkled in my pants to discover the New York Times blurb on the back cover claiming “Not since the advent of Harry Potter has an author so flagrantly delighted in leading readers on a breathless chase”  Please note that the quote refers to the author being flagrantly delighted, not the audience. Yes… the Da Vinci Code and Harry Potter truly are in a league of their own.

In rebellion, I had to pause mid-story and write myself a parody – purely to vent my frustrations. I wrote a clichéd diatribe about Longdon, Stupie and Teabag’s quest (did anyone else taste bile every time they were referred to as ‘the threesome’?) as they try to outrun Captain Creche, Siren the albino and Aringa-ringa-rosy, solving blaringly obvious codes, unearthing ridiculous riddles whilst delving into history…stopping only to have flashbacks, childhood recollections, think long and ponderous thoughts about everything  and drink coke. It’s a tale of one, no two, no a whole bunch of men’s search for the truth and one intelligent woman’s spiral into stupidity.

I do get it…I know what Trusty sees in it. It’s the art, architecture, history, religious discussion, mathematics, science – all that stuff is juicily alluring and addictive – but it just left me wishing i were reading a history book instead. Yes history and maths is fascinating and but regurgitating it into his books does not make Dan Brown fascinating. I read somewhere that he has made enough money to never have to work again, you know. Phew!

For further reading (more eloquent and intelligent) about Dan Brown check out Language Log

Now…onto some new reading!

From the library

• Perfect Timing – i’ve never read anything from Jill Mansell, i’m expecting it to be one of those modern-woman-searches-for-mr-right type easy reads. i’ll let you know if i’m pleasantly surprised.
• Lullabies for little criminals, Heather O’Neill – ‘the international bestseller’ eek! I didn’t see that earlier.
• The Dressmaker ‘Rosalie Ham’ – an Australian gothic novel of love, hate and haute couture

From the second-hand book store

• Giving up on ordinary, Isla Dewar – a have-read, do-like. I was looking for ‘It could happen to you’ which is a fave of mine, but i dont mind owning anything by Isla.
• About a boy, Nick Hornby – High Fidelity and About a boy are great movies, the book has got to be great, right?

So…I’m going to be a tad bit busy with all this reading to do:) lucky I am almost-officially ON HOLIDAYS!! – that is, I have handed in my last assignments for the year. I shan’t completely rest easy till I have the results in the post and I do have to start reading for next years 1st subject… but I can taste the holidays already. The girls have two weeks of school left and then I will be completely free, no lunch boxes, no school morning rush… I.can’t.wait.

bookworm.m:)

கொஞ்ச நேரத்துக்கு முன் டோண்டு எம்.எஃப். ஹுசெனைப் பற்றி எழுதி இருந்ததைப் படித்தேன். சுருக்கமாக என் எண்ணங்களை எழுத முடியாததால் இங்கே ஒரு பதிவாகவே எழுதுகிறேன்.

எனக்கு ஓவியங்கள் பிடிக்கும். ஆனால் பல பிரபல ஓவியங்களில் என்ன இருக்கிறது என்று புரிவதில்லை. புகழ் பெற்ற மோனா லிசா ஓவியத்தை நான் லூவர் மியூசியத்தில் நேராகவே பார்த்திருக்கிறேன். இது என்ன பிரமாதம் என்று புரிந்ததே இல்லை. ஹுசேனின் ஓவியங்களைப் பற்றி எனக்கு அப்படி ஒன்றும் பிரமாதமான அபிப்ராயம் இல்லை. சில ஓவியங்களில் நல்ல தொழில் திறமை (craft ) தெரிகிறது, அவ்வளவுதான். எனக்கு பிடித்த இந்திய ஓவியர்கள் அம்ரிதா ஷெர்கில், ஜாமினி ராய்.

ஆனால் ஹுசேன் சரஸ்வதியையும் துர்கையையும் நிர்வாணமாக வரைந்ததில் எந்த தவறும் இல்லை என்பது என் உறுதியான கருத்து. சரஸ்வதி, துர்க்கை, கிருஷ்ணன், ஏசு, முகமது நபி யாரை வேண்டுமானாலும் நிர்வாணமாக வரைய அவருக்கு பூரண உரிமை உண்டு. எப்படி வேண்டுமென்றாலும் வரையலாம், அது அவரது கருத்துரிமை. தஸ்லிமா நசரீன், சாலமன் ரஷ்டி எல்லாருக்கும் அந்த கருத்துரிமை உண்டு. ஹுசேனின் கருத்துரிமையை பறித்துவிட்டு ரஷ்டியின் புத்தகத்தை தடை செய்ததை எப்படி குறை சொல்வது? தஸ்லிமாவுக்கு நிகழும் அநீதிகளை எந்த முகத்தை வைத்துக் கொண்டு எதிர்ப்பது? தஸ்லிமாவை ஆதரித்து பேசுபவர்கள் ஹுசேனை எதிர்க்கும் அதிசயமும், ஹுசேனை ஆதரித்து பேசுபவர்கள் தஸ்லிமாவை எதிர்க்கும் அதிசயமும் இந்த நாட்டில் ஒரு சேர நடக்கிறது!

சரஸ்வதியை இழிவுபடுத்துகிறார் ஹுசேன் என்று பேசும் ஹிந்துக்களின் மன நிலை எனக்கு புரிவதே இல்லை. நான் கடவுள் நம்பிக்கை உள்ளவன். நான் வணங்கும் அலகிலா விளையாட்டுடையானை, ராமனை, கிருஷ்ணனை, சக்தியை இழிவுபடுத்தும் ஆற்றல் உள்ளவரா இந்த ஹுசேன்? இல்லை எல்லாம் வல்ல சரஸ்வதிக்கு நாலு பாடிகார்ட் தேவையா? இப்படி உணர்பவர்கள் எல்லாம் உண்மையிலேயே கடவுள் சர்வ சக்தி படைத்தவர் என்று நினைக்கிறார்களா? போயும் போயும் இந்த ஹுசேனா சிவனை கேவலப்படுத்த முடியும்?

ஹுசேனின் சில சர்ச்சைக்குரிய படங்களை இங்கே கொடுத்திருக்கிறேன். அவரது கோட்டோவியங்களில் நல்ல craft தெரிகிறது. சரஸ்வதியின் படம் எந்த விதத்திலும் சரஸ்வதியை கேவலப்படுத்தவில்லை என்பது என் உறுதியான கருத்து. பாரத மாதா படம் நல்ல ஐடியா. காலை மடித்து உட்கார்ந்திருக்கும் பெண் இந்தியாவின் தெற்குப் பகுதியுடனும், மார்புகள் குஜராத்துடனும் நன்றாக பொருந்துகிறது. ஆனால் நல்ல கலை என்று சொல்ல மாட்டேன். துர்கையின் படம் is in bad taste. But bad taste is not a crime!

அடுத்தவர் செய்கை என் மனதை புண்படுத்துகிறது, அதனால் அது தடை செய்யப்பட வேண்டும் என்று சொல்வது மிக தவறான அணுகுமுறை. டோண்டு ராகவன் பூணூல் அணிவது சிலர் மனதை புண்படுத்துகிறது என்பதற்காக அவர் பூணூல் அணிவதை நிறுத்த வேண்டுமா? இல்லை என்றுதான் நானும் அவரும் கருதுகிறோம். அப்புறம் ஹுசேனின் படங்கள் டோண்டுவின் மனதை புண்படுத்துகின்றன என்பதற்காக ஹுசேன் மட்டும் ஏன் இப்படி படம் வரைவதை நிறுத்த வேண்டும்? உயிருள்ளவர்களை கேவலப்படுத்தினால் அவர்களை சட்டம் பாதுகாக்கும்.

ஹுசேனுக்கு ஏசுவை இப்படி வரைய தைரியம் இல்லை, சீவி விடுவார்கள், முகமது நபியை இப்படி வரைந்தால் ஃபட்வாதான், அதனால் அவர் அப்படி வரைவதில்லை என்றுதான் நிறைய பேர் கோபப்படுகிறார்கள். அப்படி நினைப்பவர்கள் செய்ய வேண்டியது தெளிவு – சீவி விடுவார்கள் ஃபட்வா போன்ற நிலையை மாற்றுங்கள். போலி மத சார்பின்மை பேசிக் கொண்டு யாராவது வந்தால் – ராமர் எந்த ஆர்கிடெக்சர் காலேஜில் படித்தார் என்று கேட்டுக் கொண்டே ரம்ஜான் கஞ்சி குடிப்பவர்களை – புறக்கணியுங்கள். அதை விட்டுவிட்டு ஹுசேன் மேல் கேஸ் போட வேண்டும் என்று சொல்வது சிறுபிள்ளைத்தனமாக இருக்கிறது. அவனுக்கு ஜுரம் வந்தபோது ஊசி போடவில்லை, அதனால் எனக்கு ஜுரம் வரும்போது எனக்கும் போடக்கூடாது என்று குழந்தைகள் அடித்துக் கொள்வது மாதிரி இருக்கிறது!

இந்திய அரசு இந்த ஒரு விஷயத்தில்தான் consistent ஆக நடந்து கொள்கிறது, ஹுசேனின் மேல் கேஸ் போடுகிறது, டாவின்சி கோட், Midnight’s Children புத்தகத்தை தடை செய்கிறது!

தொடர்புடைய பதிவுகள், சுட்டிகள்
எம்.எஃப். ஹுசேன் பற்றிய விக்கி குறிப்பு
டோண்டு ராகவனின் பதிவு
ஜெயமோகனின் பதிவு, அவருக்கு வந்த எதிர்வினைகள் பகுதி 1, பகுதி 2, பகுதி 3
தமிழ் ஹிந்து தளத்தில் ஜெயமோகனுக்கு எதிர்வினை

அம்ரிதா ஷெர்கில் பற்றிய விக்கி குறிப்பு, அவரது சில ஓவியங்கள்
ஜாமினி ராய் பற்றிய விக்கி குறிப்பு, அவரது சில ஓவியங்கள்

The movie “Priceless” deals with the two favorite things of the French people: sex and fashion. The other two favorite French things, cheese and berets are better saved for a review of “Frommage: Le Film.”

The star, Audrey Tautou is known to audiences west of the Atlantic for her roles in Amalie and the Da Vinci Code and plays not the descendent of Christ, but a cocktail waitress who attaches herself to wealthy men like a Brietling watch attaches itself to, well, wealthy men.

What we call a gold digger, Tautou’s character is the more sophisticate-sounding bon vivant pour le hommes.

The beginning of “Priceless” seems to draw a page from the “Pink Panther” movies: animated opening titles, 60s-style jazz, and a bumbling male lead.

The lead in question is Gad Elmaleh, here playing the same role as he did in “The Valet” as a hotel worker who pretends he’s more well-off than he really is.

When Elmaleh falls asleep on the job, Tautou mistakes him for a high roller and her next provider of Chanel dresses and Riviera hotel suites.

When her previous vieux protecteur (sugar daddy in Low English) leaves her. Tautou sees Elmaleh less as a star-crossed lover and more as an annoyance, as she bankrupts him at a high-class restaurant.

Despite her character’s shortcomings, it’s easy to see Tautou in this Holly Golightly-type roll, which has more to do with Breakfast at Tiffany’s than just the portrayal of those who will do anything to be among the ridiculously rich. As Elmaleh struggles with the bill, he inadvertently becomes the object of affection for an older widow, who soon foots the bill for a fancy hotel room and a new wardrobe, assuming the George Peppard role of “Priceless.”

Once Tatau realizes Elmaleh isn’t following her, she begins instructing him in the ways of her world, teaching him how to finagle things like $30,000 watches and Vespa scooters.

Movies like this fall into one of two categories: guy-gets-girl and girl-gets-guy. While the latter is more common, the former never sat well with me. Usually the guy tries to convince the girl that he’s worth going out with, usually that girl turns out of a type that rhymes with the thing you scratch. In movies like this, the guy goes through an hour and a half of rejection before the girl realizes she had been mistaken by treating him like dirt for the previous running time of the movie. Somehow I find this a little more implausible than the other variation.

In “Priceless” Tautou is far from a sympathetic character, especially as she milks everything Elmaleh has while remarking that she doesn’t really enjoy the caviar she eats all the time. After a while, you wonder why the hapless bartender even bothers.

Since we tend to get our game shows and not our comedies from oversees, it’s easy to see how “Priceless” could exist only in its Gallic form. Movies like this one are not unlike the fluffly pastries eaten in the film: filling for the moment, but ultimately empty and full of air.

Remaking this movie for American audiences makes about as much sense as remaking it’s spiritual predecessor “Breakfast at Tiffany’s.” Imagine Matthew McConehy and Rene Zellweger in the roles and it’s easy to spot a dud of “Gigli” proportions.

But therein lies the difference. Audiences seeing American actors doing the same things as their French counterparts may see the result as being reprehensible, but there is something that can be said for how much “the other” can get away with. American action movies are big hits oversees, but replace the leads with local stars and you get something that just doesn’t fit.

Kind of like an Hermes scarf on the neck of a Wal-Mart greeter.

«Entre les rivages des océans et le sommet de la plus haute montagne est tracée une route secrète que vous devez absolument parcourir (…)»;ainsi parlait le poète libanais Khalil Gibran.

Mac Aficionados amoureux des aventures, des beaux graphismes et des  énigmes à la Da Vinci Code, le temps est venu pour vous de passer à l’action!

Si vous n’avez pas encore fait vos bagages pour le Machu Pichu ou quelque autre mont éloigné, rassurez-vous: dans le confort de votre foyer, vous pourrez participer à une aventure des plus palpitantes qui vous transportera aux sommets du mont Qomolangma, aussi connu sous les noms de Chomolungma, Sagarmatha, Qomolangma, ou encore mont Everest (pour faire simple!).

Dans une course acharnée contre des adversaires impitoyables, tachez d’être à la hauteur (c’est le cas de le dire!) et de vous hisser au sommet de la plus haute montagne de la terre culminant à 8850 mètres!!!

Explorez ainsi plus de 30 destinations à couper le souffle, épousez les traits de 4 personnages charismatiques qui vous aideront à résoudre les énigmes qui se dressent sur votre chemin et suivez les conseils de votre guide tous-risques Ed Viestur. Mais surtout, n’oubliez pas: il faut atteindre le sommet!

Bonne aventure!

Pour bénéficier gratuitement de ce jeu (pour un temps limité, car en temps normal, il vous aurait coûté 6.99$ US), rendez-vous à l’adresse suivante, munis de ce «coupon-rabais»: EVERESTFREE

La visite vous est gracieusement offerte par Mac Promo! Faites-en bénéficier vos proches, car plus on est…plus vite on gagne!

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I know, it seems silly right?  We all giggle and pshaw whenever someone mentions Myspace.  A couple weeks ago a fellow musician came up to me and asked why I haven’t approved his Myspace friend request.  I was left shocked and stunned.  I wasn’t sure how to answer him.  I remained silent for at least 15 seconds, thinking he was about to bust out laughing and say he was just kidding.  However, to my horror, he was serious and therefore wanted a serious answer.

I babbled as I tried to remember when was the last time I logged in and trying to remember if I still know my log in credentials.  Basically I pretended that I didn’t know that my Myspace profile was still up… but I was lying… I knew it was still there… and Tom from Myspace knew it was still there.  I later micro blogged about this encounter on my twitter to get some cheap laughs and potentially get more followers.  As a result, I did get some laughs but the only followers I gained were those spam twitter accounts that talk about Brittany Spears sucking cock.  I feel bad for saying this, but there’s NOTHING I wanna see Brittany do… nothing at all.

I let a week or so pass and then out of sheer boredom, I attempted to remember my log in credentials.  Geez, it was like cracking the Da Vinci code because my e-mail address that I used for my log in is an old account as well.

Eventually I cracked that baby open and boy… it was just a mess.  Which is probably why people left Myspace for facebook.  My activity feed was just crammed with band and promoters that I could give 2 shits about, cramming every little event down my throat.

I decided to do some housecleaning on my profile.  Again, I was really bored.  I opened up my friends list and shaved my friend count from 1,700 to about 435.  What really helped is that Myspace added a feature where you can add your real name so that I don’t have to guess who Mystical_Star_Unicorn_in_my_ass***_$>< is.  After narrowing the almighty friends list down, I set my account to the strictest anti-spam settings available.

Then I viewed my profile page itself and that looked pretty crappy as well.  I checked out the edit profile options and there are some decent looking themes, modules and lay-outs you can choose so that your views don’t have to wait 8 minutes for all the crap on your profile to load.  As far as the content, there’s still some cleaning up to do but it looks and feels way better.

It’s been about a week and a half since I initiated this Myspace clean up and things have been going pretty smoothly.  I only get feeds, bulletins, friend suggestions and comments from people I actually know and give 2 shits about.  It’s nice.  Of course, it’s pretty quiet and the feed moves pretty slow being that there’s not as much people on it as before.  It’s kind of feels like if you walked around a carnival the day after it ended.  Lots of cool stuff to do and look at but there’s nobody to share it with.

Overall, I had fun cleaning up the ol’ Myspace account and since there’s really simple mobile Myspace apps, it’ll be easier to prevent it from growing too many cobwebs.

If YOU still remember your log in, hit me up and say hi: www.myspace.com/fernandothelovemachine

Makes you think what the next blog will be about.  Friendster perhaps?  Asian Avenue?

When you find yourself hoping and praying for a book to end, there is a good possibility that you could classify that book as one that sucks. Hear me out.

The Lost Symbol is a novel by Dan Brown, author of such works as Angels and Demons and The Da Vinci Code. He has other not-so-well-known works such as Deception Point and Digital Fortress.  The latter two books are wholly unimpressive, but follow the Dan Brownian plot style: one of the main characters is actually a bad guy and is in some way involved with a conspiracy theory.

LS doesn’t necessarily follow that same plot style, but there are definitely a lot of reoccurring annoyances. For one, Brown (or his wife) does A LOT of research. Much of his research is unnecessary to his plot and comes off as just plain showing off his knowledge when sprinkled throughout narration.  He also often puts his character’s thoughts into italics.  Most of the thoughts are unneeded fodder that are reminiscent of Lt. Horatio Caine’s lines on CSI: Miami which are unbelievably lame.

Despite the things that annoy me about Brown’s writing, I was so excited for this book to come out. I loved A&D and DVC and was ecstatic about another high-speed, action-packed thriller that got the cogs in my mind working. I thought it was happening again in this one, but I got incredibly bored about 60% of the way into the book. I was literally begging for it to end and considering just flat out stopping. I also found Mal’akh to be a pretty superficial villain. DVC’s Silas and A&D’s Hassassin scared me so badly I had nightmares, and I just didn’t feel that fear for Mal’akh.

I was surprised by the inevitable twist (there’s always one when Brown is writing), but I was not impressed.

I don’t know, Dan! You made me wait this long, but left me unhappy!

The one thing I can say is that when The Lost Symbol film (due in theatres in 2012) starts casting, they would do well to cast NCIS: Los Angeles’ Linda Hunt (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001373/) as Director Inoue Sato.

H, out.

The ornate carvings at Rosslyn Chapel

By Cara Sulieman

WORK IS getting underway to preserve one of Scotland’s most famous and important chapels.

Rosslyn Chapel in Midlothian starred in the blockbuster Da Vinci Code and has seen a massive increase in visitor numbers since.

But thanks to a botched repair job in the 1950s the roof is crumbling and has been sealed off for some time.

The Rosslyn Chapel Trust is looking to secure a further £1 million to ensure that a £9 million restoration can be completed within the next year.

Work is set to start next month on a brand new roof for the chapel, restoring the building to its former beauty.

It is famous for the intricate carvings that line the walls of the small chapel, and the rumoured connections to the Knights Templar.

Work has already begun on restoring the stained glass windows in the main body of the building.

See more of our pictures at our Flickr site and videos at our dedicated channel,  Deadline TV.

That bastion of truth Wikipedia has compiled a list of the highest grossing flicks of this decade so far, and if you look closer at the top 20 films at the box office, only one movie has not been based on a past film or (remake/sequel), or an adaptation of an established property. You know the sources: comic, book, play, Hasbro toy etc. I highlighted in a previous post (quite brilliantly…) the upcoming film releases based on old products. However, I did not realise the full extent of the Old Rope+Short Attention Span=Money formulae.

Want to know the the only original feature film to make it into the the top 20 of this decade?

Finding Nemo, which nestles in well at #15 with $864.6 million.

Further still, if you look at the top 30 films from this decade thus far, there is only one other original film property among the pack

DreamWorks Animation’s Kung Fu Panda, #30 spot with $631.7 million.

Worryingly, out of the top 50 grossing films of this decade, there are only 9 movies based on original premises and properties. Out of the nine, five, yes FIVE of those nine films have come from the Pixar Studios camp. A damning indictment to an industry built on grandiose spectacles. How spectacular can something be in its third incarnation? Maybe Up! wasn’t the rendered Citizen Kane it has become accepted as, rather, an original story that dared to depict death in a children’s movie.

Cheers Pixar.

As for the rest of you layabouts….

You can find the entire top 50 below:

1 The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King New Line Cinema $1,119,110,941 2003
2 Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest Disney $1,066,179,725 2006
3 The Dark Knight Warner Bros. $1,001,921,825 2008
4 Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone Warner Bros. $974,733,550 2001
5 Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End Disney $960,996,492 2007
6 Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Warner Bros. $938,212,738 2007
7 Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince Warner Bros. $929,022,922 2009
8 The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers New Line Cinema $925,282,504 2002
9 Shrek 2 DreamWorks SKG $919,838,758 2004
10 Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Warner Bros. $895,921,036 2005
11 Spider-Man 3 Columbia $890,871,626 2007
12 Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Warner Bros. $878,643,482 2002
13 Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs 20th Century Fox $878,615,229 2009
14 The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring New Line Cinema $870,761,744 2001
15 Finding Nemo Disney / Pixar $864,625,978 2003
16 Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith 20th Century Fox $848,754,768 2005
17 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Paramount $833,229,011 2009
18 Spider-Man Columbia $821,708,551 2002
19 Shrek the Third DreamWorks SKG $798,958,162 2007
20 Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban Warner Bros. $795,634,069 2004
21 Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Paramount $786,636,033 2008
22 Spider-Man 2 Columbia $783,766,341 2004
23 The Da Vinci Code Sony / Columbia $758,239,851 2006
24 The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe Disney $745,011,272 2005
25 The Matrix Reloaded Warner Bros. $742,128,461 2003
26 Transformers DreamWorks / Paramount $709,709,780 2007
27 Ice Age: The Meltdown 20th Century Fox $655,388,158 2006
28 Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl Disney $654,264,015 2003
29 Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones 20th Century Fox $649,398,328 2002
30 Kung Fu Panda DreamWorks SKG $631,736,484 2008
31 The Incredibles Disney / Pixar $631,442,092 2004
32 Hancock Columbia $624,386,746 2008
33 Ratatouille Disney / Pixar $623,707,397 2007
34 The Passion of the Christ Newmarket $611,899,420 2004
35 Mamma Mia! Universal $609,841,637 2008
36 Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa DreamWorks SKG $603,900,344 2008
37 Casino Royale MGM / Columbia $594,239,066 2006
38 War of the Worlds DreamWorks / Paramount $591,745,540 2005
39 Quantum of Solace MGM / Columbia $586,090,727 2008
40 I Am Legend Warner Bros. $585,349,010 2007
41 Iron Man Paramount $585,133,287 2008
42 Night at the Museum 20th Century Fox $574,480,450 2006
43 King Kong Universal $550,517,357 2005
44 Mission: Impossible II Paramount $546,388,105 2000
45 The Day After Tomorrow 20th Century Fox $544,272,402 2004
46 Madagascar DreamWorks SKG $532,680,671 2005
47 The Simpsons Movie 20th Century Fox $527,071,022 2007
48 Monsters, Inc. Disney / Pixar $525,366,597 2001
49 WALL-E Disney / Pixar $521,268,237 2008
50 Meet the Fockers Universal $516,642,939 2004

Dré

Two out of four ain’t bad, neh?

HarperCollins’ new spec fic imprint, Angry Robot, has released four books to launch itself, showing a wide scope. There’s Aussie Kaaron Warren’s Slights (which I’ve reviewed here previously), Chris Roberson’s Book of Secrets, Tim Waggoner’s Nekropolis and Lauren Beukes’ Moxyland.

Beukes, a South African, riffs off that country’s socio-political injustices with her near-future, Orwellian vision. The tale is told through the viewpoints of four characters, each giving an insight into different levels of that society: the rebels, the corporate ladder climbers, the celebrity blogger, and a dysfunctional artist caught up in the latest corporate skullduggery.
The story unfolds at a pedestrian pace and never really accelerates towards a climax, but the characters are effective and Beukes’ world is wonderfully drawn. The conclusion is gorgeous, for a cynic such as myself.
Unlike some others in the Angry Robot range, the text is delightfully clean of typos, perhaps thanks in part to Beukes’ background in journalism (ah, those heady days when sloppy work could be remedied by a whack to the back of the head with a Concise Oxford, or perhaps a tap with a Strunk & White).

Roberson, who I had the pleasure to meet at World Fantasy in San Jose and is a very cool guy, has delivered a story with many stories within it, a conspiracy tale involving a Biblical secret sought by nefarious, homicidal agencies. Into this is thrown a down-at-heel freelance journo with an unusual past — one that is proven to be even more unusual than he realises thanks to his own family mysteries.
This isn’t my kind of story at all, and its structure didn’t warm me to it. The pulp stories contained within the text didn’t need to be there (I’m sure others will love these homages), vying with interminable info dumps for causing the greatest urge to skim read, and the supernatural conclusion left me cold. As I said, not my kind of story, but I suspect those with an inclination towards The Da Vinci Code will find plenty here to entertain (and what a shame it is that that book has become the benchmark for this style of story).

Which leaves the most disappointing of the four, Nekropolis. A great idea is so quickly hamstrung by some clunky structure and an appallingly Hollywood ending reminiscent of the ugly denouement forced on Ridley Scott’s original Blade Runner. The protagonist is a former cop from Earth who has found himself turned into a zombie in a demon dimension. He has garnered a deep understanding of this bizarre world and its denizens, as well as forging a wide network of contacts of dubious moral worth. It’s a very cool world, filled with neat critters and a bunch of witches and vampires and shapechangers, all competing in a petty pissing contest for status. What wrecked the story for me were the logic potholes: an awful rewind moment regarding a set of lockpicks, a contradictory solution to an ensorcelled door, and a hugely underplayed and slightly farcical showdown with a nemesis. That the author signals that his major characters all survive undermines any suspense, and the aforementioned Blade Runner moment is the salt in the wound. It’s such a pity a little more care couldn’t have been taken, because the premise, and poor Matt the zombie cop, really have legs.

Ya pas que les Francs-maçons. En Inde, faire copain-copain avec vos coreligionnaires est le moyen le plus sûr d’obtenir un : appart/ticket/autocuiseur/petit boulot/jardinier/esclave nubile/horaire de messe/vin potable (donc pas de messe) – rayer la mention inutile*.

« Faire copain-copain » peut vouloir dire :

- toucher les pieds et obtenir 100% en Conduite Hautement Morale (hindou)

- serrer la main et faire semblant d’avoir obtenu 100% en œnologie (chrétien)

- ne rien dire et partager un plat de mouton chez Karim’s (musulman)

- parler de cricket et partager un plat végétarien n’importe où (jaïn)

- sourire beaucoup et aller ensemble à la méditation du samedi soir** (bouddhiste)

- se balader tout nu en agitant des cloches comme un dément (sectes hindoues)

Ceci fait, vous pourrez faire des châteaux de cartes (bancaires) avec les innombrables petits papiers sur lesquels les gens auront noté leur numéro de téléphone. Youpi !

*(Mais une seule sinon c’est pas drôle)

**Femmes : éliminées. Vous n’avez pas accès à la méditation du samedi soir.

I have been a little unsure about whether or not I should be blogging about some of the more touristy things I have been doing lately – is anyone really interested?  (Feel free to tell me if you’re not btw, I won’t mind as long as you tell me what you are interested in)  In the end I have decided that I will share because visiting the regular tourist haunts has been super interesting and really helped shaped my picture of London.  Plus I’m new enough to still get away with it.

The best of the bunch by far in my mind has to be Westminster Abbey.  This place was astounding, and to think my boyf and I weren’t even going to go inside when we first walked by.  It is one of the only big tourist spots in London to charge admission – about £12 from memory.  Boy am I glad we decided not to be stingy that day.

Aside from the fact that it’s a stunningly beautiful building (think your typical European Cathedral and you’ve got a good picture) this place is PACKED to the rafters with English history – all made readily available to you through audio guides which are included in the admission fee.  There are so many things going on I’ll just focus on highlights.

Queen Elizabeth I is buried here under a striking marble statue made in her likeness.  Mary I or Bloody Mary, her sister, is buried directly underneath her.  On their tomb is inscribed “Consorts in realm and in tomb, here we sleep, Elizabeth and Mary, sisters, in hope of resurrection” – consorts here referring both to siblings, and to sharing something in common.  Interestingly, her rival, Mary Queen of Scots is buried in reverence at the exactly the same location as Elizabeth on the opposite side of the chapel.  Both the positioning of the tombs and the inscription on the tomb of Elizabeth and Mary I were placed there by James I, Elizabeth’s successor who truly united the 2 kingdoms.  Other notable royal burials include Edward the Confessor (made a Roman Catholic saint in 1161) and the Plantagenet Kings of Crusader fame (Lionheart, Longshanks).

All English Royal coronations have taken place in Westminster Abbey since William the Conqueror in 1066, and since 1308, would you believe, all in the same chair.  You can see the rather plain looking chair on display in the abbey.

The infamous Poets Corner is also housed in Westminster Abbey, with tombs and memorials for England’s most predominant artistic types.  My fav’s included Jane Austen, Shakespeare, the Bronte Sisters, Charles Dickens, Lord Byron, Geoffrey Chaucer, Laurence Olivier and Rudyard Kipling (but the list goes on). 

And finally for the Da Vinci Code fans (and who’s not?) there is also the memorial to Sir Isaac Newton which features at the end of the book.  This is next to the Charles Darwin memorial in the Scientists corner (the less famous corner it would seem)

Basically, this place is a history buff’s wet dream – and for the rest of us, it proves to be one of those occurrences I mentioned in my last post, another amazing door that London has opened and dares you to want more. Yes, please.

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Renowned curator Jaques Sauniere staggered through the vaulted archway of the museum’s Grand Gallery.

Word Count: 14

We’ve added a few more reviews/reports this week:

USA Box Office Estimates Friday 23rd October – We’ve been watching the astonishing rise of PARANORMAL ACTIVITY over the past couple of weeks, and now, it’s finally hit the top of the box office. It’s looking at a $20M weekend. Marketing and achieving critical mass with an audience seems to happen when you have a product that captures the imagination, or interest of people, and this $15,000 production is certainly scaring up a storm. It makes these multi-million dollar productions amusing, particularly as SAW VI came in under PARANORMAL ACTIVITY, something that franchise is not used to after being number one for the last few films when opening around Halloween. It just goes to prove how fickle and uncertain achieving success is in the film business.

Angels & Demons DVD review – Alex recently watched the DVD and gave a pass mark. I remember watching this at the cinema earlier in the year and being surprised that the first three quarters of the film was actually entertaining, especially after the boring opus that was The Da Vinci Code. The ending became quite over the top and silly. Maybe they should have made this film first? It seems to work better as a film and might not have alienated the audience.

Sunshine Cleaning Film Review – Picked this up on DVD the other day. I had never heard of it before. It’s hit and miss. There are some nice character moments, and it feels very real. But it doesn’t really go anywhere, and nothing really gets resolved. Emily Blunt is really good in this though, and Alan Arkin is funny as the eccentric and witty father.

Todd.

Review by Alex DeMattia www.allaboutmovies.net

Directed by Ron Howard – Starring Tom Hanks, Ewan McGregor, Ayelet Zurer, Stellan Skarsgard, Armin Mueller-Stahl

Rating 6.5/10 – Click here to see this review on All About Movies.net

FILM REVIEW: The DaVinci Code was perhaps one the biggest disappointments in a Hollywood blockbuster that has come out in recent years after all the hype and excitement generated by the Dan Brown novel of the same name. Coming in to “Angels & Demons”, one would be forgiven for being sceptical about the quality. Although director Ron Howard and company have actually created a cinematic experience this time, perhaps because the book upon which it is based had a more filmic quality to it, “Angels & Demons” does still come up short in some areas, largely in the climax which degenerates in to complete silliness and implausibility. On the plus side, the first half is quite thrilling as Tom Hanks’ Robert Langdon character is racing against time to prevent four cardinals, and the Vatican itself, from death and destruction.

The Vatican faces a crisis when the top four cardinals to replace the recently deceased Pope are kidnapped by members of the Illuminati, a secret society dedicated to scientific truth, and a mortal enemy of the Church. The Church is told that each cardinal will be killed one per hour starting at 8pm, culminating with an anti-matter bomb exploding under St Peter’s Cathedral at midnight, wiping out the Vatican forever. To face down this nasty threat, the Church calls upon the services of symbologist Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks) who has expertise and knowledge of the Illuminati. He is put to work straight away, racing against time to find the kidnapped cardinals by deciphering clues, symbols and other historical tidbits. As he digs deeper however, all is not as it seems, with the threat coming back in to the Vatican itself, leading to a few surprises and grisly endings for those involved.

The filmmakers have very clearly made an attempt to address the problems inherent in The DaVinci Code. This time, rather than having characters talk through endless exposition and explanations of things without any cohesive narrative, everything is done with a sense of critical urgency. Langdon explains his history on the move this time, with the clock always ticking. The film does not drift in to exposition for too long as the plot pertaining to the missing cardinals keeps jumping back in to remind everyone that we have a crisis. There is even a sequence or two of genuine cinematic thrills, with the prime example being when Langdon and a Swiss Guard officer find themselves locked in the Vatican Vault with the oxygen running out. The film does well to engage interest through its explanations of history and the inner workings of the Vatican (whether accurate or not).

With a strong plot line, the characters have something to be emotionally invested in, and all do very well, starting with Tom Hanks who does not seem to be bored this time, Ewan McGregor as a seemingly well intentioned but dangerously misguided priest, and Ayelet Zurer as Vittoria who apart from lending her beauty to the screen also holds her own against Hanks. Stellan Skarsgard is also quite good as the head of the Swiss guard Commander Richter. Nikolaj Lie Kaas is quite chilling and professional as the assassin, particularly with his quite efficient and gruesome killing techniques. And serving as a supporting anchor of sorts is the always good Armin Mueller-Stahl who plays an old-school, but empathetic cardinal in charge of the Conclave, the time when the new Pope is to be selected.

The film does fall off the rails around three quarters of the way through its running time. When Langdon and company find the bomb, Carmelengo Patrick McKenna (Ewan McGregor) makes a seemingly sacrificial attempt to destroy the bomb by flying up high in to the sky in a helicopter, but then magically falls back to Earth in a parachute just in time to see the anti-matter bomb explode in a blaze of glory in the upper atmosphere. Aside from the fact that we have to accept as a given that this priest can fly a helicopter, he also manages to survive the extremely bumpy parachute jump, even after he had been branded painfully on the chest with an Illuminati symbol just moments earlier. The bomb itself we are told is enough to destroy the whole Vatican and a good portion of Rome but it only manages to knock everyone over and not destroy much. Then it lurches forward in to further absurdity when we are told the the Carmelengo actually staged the whole Illuminati threat when there was none to begin with in an attempt to make the Church more sympathetic by making the Illumaniti and what they stand for appear evil. This includes poisoning the Pope to make it look like the Illuminati did it, hiring the highly intelligent assassin without him knowing that the whole thing was faked, and keeping it all out from under the nose of the Swiss Guard, and in particular, Commander Richter who has cameras installed everywhere to track everyone’s movements but somehow does not find out about the Carmelengo’s treachery until the very last moment. This climax unfortunately makes the whole exercise a waste of time. The Illuminati are interesting; to be told in the end they did not exist is almost a cheat and diminishes the sense of history attached to the story.

The film does look good and is perhaps Ron Howard’s best looking film to date. The images of Rome are glorious, as is a visual motif of blending lens flares which stand in for the crowds of onlookers in St Peters Square which show up throughout the film. He manages to integrate a number of computer generated images in to the film seamlessly, although there are others that look woeful, particularly in the climax when the bomb goes off; the CG helicopter looks ridiculous in this scene, as do a number of other CG elements.

“Angels & Demons” is quite entertaining for most of its run time, only let down by a ridiculous and demeaning climax.

TECHNICAL REVIEW: The transfer of this film to DVD is by and large flawless. The picture is quite stunning, particularly in the richness of colour, sharpness and contrast, with all the images and certain visual effects perfectly represented in their true presentation. The soundtrack is likewise impressive, creating an environment that befits the thrilling nature of the piece, with the musical score thundering out of the surrounds in the big moments. Overall, this film has been given an excellent transfer to DVD.

EXTRAS REVIEW: The extras package on this DVD is not extensive, comprising of four main featurettes which offer some insight in to the production. The two most interesting featurettes, lasting ten minutes a piece, are “Writing Angels & Demons” and “Angels & Demons: The Full Story”, which give an overview of the journey taken by the filmmakers to bring the Dan Brown novel to the screen. There is some interesting stuff here, but also some back-slapping as well on behalf of the filmmakers, particularly when Ron Howard says that he felt compelled to do this film after the fact that so many people liked The DaVinci Code… right… (at least he made a better film this time). The other two featurettes specifically deal with the ambigrams depicted in the film and the props. There are also some trailers for other Columbia films. Overall, these featurettes complement the film quite well but are not anywhere near extensive enough, especially considering that they only hint at the mammoth amount of logistical work that went in to getting the film made which actually looked quite interesting.

BOTTOM LINE: Rent it.

Alex DeMattia is a staff writer/reviewer for the film and DVD review web site All About Movies.net.

Bogans will tell you that they love to read. This is convenient, as reading is, by its very nature, a solitary exercise. As books are generally read away from the presence of other people, it is quite simple to assume a mien of intellectuality, and opine solemnly on the quality of either the latest bestseller, or a well-known classic without ever actually having moved beyond the blurb. However, in conducting this kind of surreptitious deception, the bogan leaves itself open to exposure – if a comrade has read the book in question and calls the bluff.

As such, the bogan is far more inclined to wholeheartedly embrace the release of books which have subsequently been turned into major motion pictures. The Power of One, Harry Potter, The Da Vinci Code/Angels and Demons, the Twilight series(oh, God, the Twilight series), The Bourne Identity/Supremacy/Ultimatum, Memoirs of a Geisha, Silence of the Lambs, Confessions of a Shopaholic, The Devil Wears Prada, and of course everything by Tom Clancy, John Grisham and Michael Crichton.

An interesting offshoot of this phenomenon is that many bogans actually wind up reading the books in question, as they discover – to their own surprise and amazement – that reading can be an edifying experience. This, of course, leads to the natural point whereby the bogans resume their pompous proclamations about the book, but now it is only to boldly, lamely state that it is ‘way better than the movie.’

This is a ruse, as no bogan worth their salt would willingly sit through all 13,000 pages of the sixth Harry Potter installment without the film to act as their equivalent of a study guide. That imagination shit’s overrated anyway. More sophisticated bogans have, by the way, graduated beyond such primitive options, having discovered Sparknotes, creating an entirely new bogan literary subculture.

However, no one – not even the most late-adopting, slogan wearing bogan, would ever touch the novelization of a film. That would be going too far.

“What would have been so wrong if Jesus had a wife? I mean, it doesn’t seem like it would have really messed anything up, and it would have been a common practice for Jewish men, right? How can we know He wasn’t really married?” Whoa! No one had ever said that to me before, and I had never really given Dan Brown’s writing much thought before. However, after a member of my own family called me thoroughly confused after reading The Da Vinci Code I realized the dangers of taking this book at face value.

Could there have been a Mrs. Jesus Christ? Many people who read Dan Brown’s book, The Da Vinci Code have found themselves asking that very question. On Brown’s website  he suggests that many of the theories the characters discuss in The Da Vinci Code have merit to them. Furthermore, he states that the desires that The Da Vinci Code promote “spiritual discussion and debate.”   

Ok, Mr. Brown—let’s discuss.

If you haven’t read the book, the plot essentially goes something like this:  Jesus Christ was actually married to Mary Magdalene and they had a child. After Jesus’ death, the Apostles took Mary deep into hiding and began a secret organization sworn to protect the “divine lineage” (which came to be known as “The Holy Grail”). Brown’s story says that because of their own selfish agenda, the Church changed history, and began a cover-up which (again—according to the STORY) has been going on the last 2000 years.

So, how do we know that Jesus wasn’t married?

Although the book never really mentions Scripture it’s important to realize that Christian Orthodoxy and all four of the Gospel accounts of Jesus’ ministry point to the fact that Jesus never had any interest in marriage. When the Gospel writers make any mention of Jesus’ family it is always with reference to either his mother, father, or siblings—never a wife or children. (Matt 12:46, 13:55, Mk 3:21-35, Luke 8:19-21, John 2:1, 2:12, John 19:25-28).  

However, Brown’s specialty is using fiction as a medium to convey his beliefs through the back door. To do this, Brown utilizes characters such as professors and researchers to state his “evidences” for the possibility of a Mrs. Christ.

First, Brown’s characters suggest that Christ must have been married because it was Jewish custom. They suggest that had Jesus not been married the Gospel writers would have had to have offered some kind of explanation for, “[Jesus’] unnatural state of bachelorhood.” (Brown, 245). Hmm, that sounds logical enough, right?

Wrong.

While it may have been the norm for Jewish men to marry, unmarried men were not unheard of in the Jewish world! John the Baptist and the Apostle Paul are two main characters in the New Testament, yet both were undoubtedly single. And although quite well known throughout the Jewish world, no one considered them an anomaly or embarrassment for not marrying. Also, the Dead Sea Scrolls speak about a fairly large group of Jewish men (called the Essences) who were devoted to God and practiced celibacy. Basically, the “historical custom” appeal just can’t hold water—all historical evidences prove that many men in Jesus’ culture practiced celibacy without any harm to their social acceptance (In 1 Corinthians 7:7 Paul wishes more people were single!).

Second, and more significant to their cause, Brown’s characters point to other gospel accounts which, according to the story, teach that Jesus had a wife. These so-called gospels to which Brown’s characters refer to are commonly known as the Gnostic Gospels. The Gnostics were a group of people who believed in “secret knowledge.” They came on the scene after the New Testament was finished and combined Christian teaching with Greek Philosophy. Like most Greeks, they taught that all physical things are evil and only the soul is good. The Gnostic books are filled with a lot of crazy ideas (like to get to Heaven you have to become a man!), and it would be awfully strange for a Gnostic who believes that any physical relationship is innately evil would teach that Jesus (who they believed was a spirit who only looked like a human) ever married—let alone have a physical relationship with a woman! While Brown may try to paint the Gnostics as champions of feminism and truth, the real truth is that they argued against women’s ability to be saved (contra Galatians 3:28). Furthermore, from the beginning of Gnosticism the Church has decried all Gnostic books as heretical and false.

While most of the cultural practices and beliefs demeaned women, Jesus came to give them abundant life in this age and the age to come. Check out some of the other blogs on Unlocking Femininity for some excellent examples of how God used women throughout history and Jesus treasured women during His earthly ministry.

 The idea of Jesus having a wife is intriguing no doubt but cannot be supported either by Scripture or history. The Da Vinci Code may make interesting fiction but it’s still just fiction. Dan Brown claims He wants to encourage “religious debate” through his writing, but his only accomplishment is throwing out absurdities which keep the focus off of the main point of Jesus’ life— that He lived, died, and rose from the dead so that we can be with Him!

MOST IMPORTANT BOOKS OF THE MODERN AGE:

A Cancer Therapy: Results of 50 Cases and the Cure of Advanced Cancer. – Max Gerson. M.D.
Audition. - Michael Shurtleff.
Autobiography of a Yogi. – Paramhansa Yogananda.
Cosmic Voyage. – Courtney Brown. Ph.D.
Hands of Light: A Guide To Healing Through The Human Energy Field. – Barbara Ann Brennan.
Hatha Yoga Pradipika: Light on Hatha Yoga. - Swami Satyananda Saraswati.
Hero With A Thousand Faces. – Joseph Campbell.
Man’s Search For Meaning. - Viktor E. Frankl.
Psychology of Science: A Reconnaissance. – Abraham Maslow.
Spiritual Enlightenment: The Damnedest Thing. – Jed McKenna.
Stranger in a Strange Land. – Robert A. Heinlein.
Tantric Quest. – Daniel Odier.
The Bible Code. - Michael Drosnin.
The Holographic Universe. – Michael Talbot.
The Lost Teachings of Atlantis. – Jon Peniel.
The Only Planet of Choice: Essential Briefings from Deep Space. - Phyllis V. Schlemmer.
The Starseed Transmissions. – Ken Carey.
Who Am I. – Ramana Maharishi.

SOME FAVOURITES (An introduction to the Author):

A Man For All Seasons (A Play) - Robert Bolt.
Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown.
Duino Elegies – Rainer Maria Rilke.
I Am Jackie Chan - Jackie Chan.
Illusions – Richard Bach.
Life of Pi – Yann Martel.
Lion of Macedon & Dark Prince - David Gemmell.
Microcosmic God – Theodore Sturgeon.
Perfume – Patrick Suskind.
Rainmaker – John Grisham.
Red Dwarf & Better Than Life – Grant Naylor.
Satanic Verses – Salman Rushdie.
Shantaram – Gregory David Roberts.
Siva – Ramesh Menon.
Switch Bitch – Roald Dahl.
The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho.
The Bourne Identity – Robert Ludlum.
The Celestine Prophecies – James Redfield.
The Doomsday Conspiracy – Sidney Sheldon.
The Godfather – Mario Puzo.
The Lost World – Michael Crichton.
The Sirens of Titan – Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
Thief of Time - Terry Pratchett.
Twelve Angry Men (A Play) - Reginald Rose.

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