I know our cruise is 3 weeks away, but I started to panic today that the next 3 weeks is going to fly by.  And so I started to pack already.  Since we aren’t using our shorts, tshirts, flipflops and swim suits right now, I figured why not pack them?!

Plus I wasn’t sure what sizes we had for each of the boys and if we’d need to purchase anything for the trip.  I didn’t want to wait until the last minute and then I’d really be in a panic.  And as it turns out I do need to make a few purchases for items in the correct size.

I am determined to pack everything into 3 suitcases for this trip.  For one, it’s expensive to check all the bags to/from since the airlines charge for everything now adays.  Plus with two kids, a stroller, a camera bag and a carry on bag with toys to keep the boys occupied on the (short) flight I wasn’t sure how we would manage anything more than 3 suitcases.  Honestly I am not sure how we’ll manage 3 and I was determined to fit it all into 2 suitcases, but Jim convinced me that was just plain unreasonable.  Especially since the last cruise we took we had FOUR suitcases and it was just him and me and no kiddos.  LOL!  I would have fit it all into 2, but with the Christmas stuff I’m bringing, I just couldn’t make it work.  Three is it though.  I refuse to pack anything more than that.

The next three weeks are going to fly.  We have Ryan’s birthday party this coming weekend and our annual neighborhood Santa brunch next weekend.  And then the following Saturday – WE LEAVE!  Bring on the sun, beaches and the “ship boat!”  We cannot wait!

Hiya sweethearts

I’m back from Winchester and freeeeeezing!

It was very busy and wet, but I took a picture of the tree anyway.

Winchester's xmas-tree, 2009

Not really the same as seeing it with both of you, but it was still fun .

I’m wrapped-up warm in my sleeping bag now and reading my book – mmmmm.

I hope you’ve both had a fun day, and I look forward to a time when we can see the tree together again.

Lots of love,

Daddy xx

Here is a photo of daddy getting David ready for a bath. He’s very excited!

Papa…… I am so angry today! Mummy brought Mama out secretly. They thought I didn’t know! This morning, Mummy brought me and Mama out for walk after our breakfast. After she came back, I overheard her conversation with Daddy.

Mummy:” I need to bring Girl Girl for her blood test later. You come and pick me up after we are done?”

Daddy:” We go together, but cannot bring Pepe, can’t handle her with Enson together.”

Mummy:” Ok, I put Girl Girl’s carrier at the doorway, later you bring Girl Girl out while I distract Pepe.”

Papa…… They think I don’t understand what are they talking about. Didn’t they know we just have this capability to read their mind through their body language? I am really disappointed with their ignorance. I persistently follow Mummy while she prepared her stuffs. I am not going to let Mummy leave me alone at home. And Mummy still want to tell lies, kept telling us they going out to mum mum only, not bringing us along. They really think we are fools? Even Mama can sense something is not right, she follows Mummy everywhere she goes just like me. These certainly drive Mummy crazy! lolz

Papa…… Suddenly, Mummy just carried me to the room and tell me all kind of shits like we go mum mum only, you stay at home, be good huh, bark bark beat beat huh blah blah blah…… In the process when Mummy is talking shits to me, I heard Daddy stepping out of the house with Enson Didi. Then Enson Didi mentioned Girl Girl here. Where Puppie? Where Puppie? Enson Didi wanted to bring me along with them, but Daddy and Mummy still won’t let me join them

Papa…… I am home alone for the very first time. Papa…… Why aren’t you here? At least if Daddy and Mummy secretly brought either one of us out, we still have two at home to keep each other company. Now I am all alone by myself at home.

Papa…… I am a good girl. I didn’t bark until they came back. Mummy told me there is an improvement in Mama’s blood test, the ALP went down to 139. Dr Ly attended to them today. Now Mama has to take the liver medicine prescribed. She can take the taurine supplement, but still have to stay off from other supplements. Mama will need to go back for the liver function blood test in two weeks time. Mummy told me they will see Dr Soo then. Gosh…… Is Mummy going to try out all the vets at ARVC? And that Dr Soo is so young. Too bad Mummy can only make it on Sunday morning, so ya…… depend on who is the vet on duty then.

Papa…… Is Mummy they all going to leave me at home again in two weeks time?

Papa…… Enson Didi is running a fever now. That poor boy. Mummy told me he had been crawling on the floor all over the clinic and refused to have his hand wash, must have eaten a handful of germs down to his stomach. Mummy was telling me those dogs at the clinic behaved so much better than him. Guess Enson Didi gave Daddy and Mummy a hard time again. That’s why I don’t know what is this Mummy thinking? She should have bring me along and leave the naughty Enson Didi at home right?

Papa…… I miss you…… When will you come back? It’s so bored without you around……

With love,

Puppie

Though it’s been a whirlwind past couple days I can’t say that I’m tired, just a bit out of sync time-wise.  With everything I’ve done I can’t believe that each time I look at a time-telling device it’s hours earlier than I think it is.  Daddy’s SUV on the other hand is tired…very tired.  If it travels more than 25 miles in a week that’s amazing.  If one uses this figure as a weekly average, in the past three days I’ve turned between 12 and 13 weeks worth of miles on the odometer.  And there’s more to come on Sunday.

Friday morning Dad and I came back from the Eastern end of the state.  Within half an hour of being home I was out the door to catch up with my best friend of 37 years.  I had asked if we could stop by to see his mother so that was our first stop.

In my opinion, Betty is the kind of mother everyone wants.  Absolutely no offense to any mothers, mine included, but Betty was always so incredible.  We hadn’t seen each other in 26 years and were ecstatic when our eyes once again met.

After twenty minutes or so of catching up Jeff and I left Betty to her work and went off to lunch.  We relaxed, chatted, ate and drank then headed to his house for a cup of tea and more chatter.

His friend took this picture and when we saw it I told Jeff that it was the perfect Christmas Card picture.

Jeff:  Go ahead and use it.

Me:  Yeah, sure…and when you send it around you’ll have to say something about having REALLY big news beyond moving to New York City.

We both laughed so hard we were crying. 

Punchline:  Jeff is gay… 

I went back to my Dad’s and within an hour we were out the door to enjoy dinner at a local restaurant.  Shortly after getting back home I walked down the block to visit a neighbor who was a teacher at the local elementary school.  My sister was the only one of us who was her student, but Miss Laliberte knows all of us.

I rang the doorbell and was greeted with a huge smile, a bear hug and “I can’t believe you remembered to stop by” (I had told her I would in one of our mail, not e-mail, snail mail, correspondences earlier this year).

We chatted for 1-1/2 hours before parting ways and wishing each other super holidays.  I walked back into my Dad’s house at 9:30PM and went to bed post-haste.

This morning I was up and out the door by 8:30AM.  I drove past my old house in Springfield before going to Dunkin’ Donuts to pick up coffees, donuts and munchkins.  The donut delivery service, me, arrived at my friend Anita’s house around 9:30AM where I spent the next 2-1/2 hours catching up with her, her daughter, her 3 granddaughters, her son and daughter-in-law and her grandson.  On my way home from their house I stopped at the new fangled food store and chatted with her husband for 10 minutes before he had to get back to work.

I spent a couple hours helping Dad with assorted items on the to-do list he created for me before heading out to Friendly’s to visit with a high school classmate that I found on Facebook.  We spent a couple hours catching up over ice cream desserts before I returned to Dad’s and more to-do projects.

My friend Tracy called shortly after 4PM and off I went again – this time to Bertucci’s for dinner (soup and salad since I was still full from my banana split), wine and conversation.  When we were leaving I asked if she could do me a favor and she readily agreed so off to the liquor store we went. 

I purchased a bottle of V One Vodka, a vodka made by my former boss’s brother and one that you cannot get in California.  I’ve never had it and I’m not a vodka person, but I wanted to support Paul’s efforts and put my curiosity to bed.  I also picked up a bottle of Ginger Brandy (surprise, surprise).  Tracy has both bottles and will ship them to me in the next couple weeks.

I wasn’t yet ready to go to Dad’s so when I exited the highway I pulled into Barnes and Noble.  This store, a mere 2 miles from my Dad’s house, is AWESOME!!  It’s a large 2-story building that envelopes me in peace the minute I enter.  When I lived in MA I participated in bi-weekly writing workshops in this store – we sat at a table upstairs along one side of the building and in front of a large bank of windows.  Imagine my sadness when I went upstairs tonight and found that our little nook is no more, that bookshelves have been added and now fill that space.

That was the only disappointment so it was acceptable.  I puttered around for half an hour and treated myself to a new address book as well as “Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff (and it’s all small stuff)”.  I had to leave after the half hour otherwise I would have bought more goodies and that would have spelled big trouble since I’m traveling carry-on only.  I barely had enough room for everything that I brought with me and since the only thing I’m leaving behind is a CD I haven’t gained any room for the return trip!

Though I’m not really tired, I’m going to climb into my jammies and get myself ready for a final busy day tomorrow.  Breakfast at Bernie’s Dining Depot, a stop at Walmart then the open house/family reunion at my cousin’s house. 

Have a SUPER Sunday everyone!

“Daddy?”

(pause)

“Oh, I lost my Daddy!”

He was in the room that see was standing in the doorway of. Go figure!

So lately Ryan has been saying “Oh my God!” alot.  I’m not sure where this came from because I don’t think Jim nor I say it (I’ve been paying extra attention over the last few days).  But Ryan has picked it up from somewhere and uses this statement a lot lately.

Jim and I always correct him and say “Ryan, we don’t say that.  We say Oh My Goodness! instead.” And then Ryan will repeat and say “Oh my goodness!”

Well now, Ryan definitely knows that he’s not supposed to say that so the conversation now goes like this:

Ryan:  “Oh my goodness!  See daddy!  I no say Oh my God.  I say Oh my goodness.  See, I good.”
Daddy:  “Well Ryan, you said it though.  We don’t even say that just to say we didn’t say it.”
Ryan:  “But I didn’t daddy.  I DIDN’T say oh my God.  I say oh my goodness.  Not oh my God.”

Aaaaahhhh…. reasoning with an almost 3 year old.  It’s so fun.

Hiya chickens!

I’ve got to go shopping today and I’ve just remembered that it’s only a month till xmas – uhoh!, it’s going to be busy.

I’ll miss seeing the lights with you this year, it was always fun watching the look on your face Charlotte  – it made everything seem magical. William, you were a bit too young to realize what was going on really, but I’m sure mummy will make it special for you.

I’ve got to go to Winchester tomorrow for an important meeting so I think I’ll leave early and go and see the tree again and have a wander around. I haven’t been there in quite a long time now so it should be fun.

Take care sweethearts, I’m always thinking of you both.

love, Daddy xx

….to our cruise ship this year.  That’s right.  In 3 weeks, we are heading for a tropical vacation and will be celebrating Christmas on a “ship boat” as Ryan likes to call it. We’ll see how I do with the whole non-traditional Christmas, but I am most certainly looking forward to this trip.  Aaaaahhhh…. I can’t wait.  I do have plans to bring Christmas with us so that will be a fun little way to celebrate on the “ship boat”.  If you’ve been reading my posts for awhile now you will know I am all about traditions and waking up in our own home on the holidays (like here and here).  This will definitely be different for me this year.  And I have to admit, I couldn’t get away from the traditional Christmas completely so the week we get back from our cruise I am pretending it’s Christmas morning and we’re doing the whole traditional celebration with Santa and a big breakfast and playing with new toys and the whole turkey/ham dinner and everything.

Today we spent the ENTIRE day decorating for Christmas and getting the house ready for the holidays.  We put up the Christmas tree and decorated it.  Well we decorated the middle portion of it anyway.  The tree is 8 feet tall or something crazy so mommy couldn’t reach the top to put decorations up that high and since we have two little mischievous monkeys running around, we couldn’t decorate the bottom portion either.  So the middle of the tree… wow!  It looks awesome!  And yes, it is a fake Christmas tree.  We had real trees for years and I loved it, but then when we moved to Atlanta and went to cut down a tree none of them met my “up north” standards.  They were basically all cedar trees and not your traditional looking pine tree like they have in MN, WI or CO.  So after not liking our newly found “cedar” Christmas tree I bought a super tall fake one after Christmas when it was 70% off and I love it.  It’s our 2nd year with it up and I love it more this year than I did last year.

Christmas Tree

O-wee Putting Jingle Bells On The Tree

Ryan Decorating the Tree

The Sesame Street Gang

How Did This Hat Get On My Head AGAIN?!

More Decorating....

Decorating The Tree

We also had our Thanksgiving Number Four today.  Since every meal we have had so far has not consisted of leftovers, mommy made Thanksgiving four all over again!  We had turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, fresh cranberries, green bean casserole and pumpkin pie!  It was awesome!!  The boys loved the meal and for some reason they both absolutely love cranberries.  They love the canned cranberry gel stuff and they love the fresh ones too.  Every turkey meal they ask for more, more and more.  It’s strange how much they like it.

But back to my mischievous monkey.  “Trust me Santa…. I’ve been good ALL year!”

I've Been Good.... I Promise!

Silly O-wee

Isn’t it just so cute how much Owen looks up to his big brother.  He mimics everything that Ryan does and just constantly watches him.

Brotherly Love

After the tree went up and was decorated, we put the train around the tree and boy did the boys love it.  Ryan just laid on the floor and watched it go around and around and around.  Of course, daddy decided this cheap, plastic train wasn’t good enough so off to Target he went.  Mommy made him return the train he brought home though   Maybe another year when the boys are older and the risk of it breaking in 10 minutes has decreased.  Not this year though.  Maybe we’ll look again when the after Christmas deals hit.

Really Dad?! A Santa Hat?

Choo-Choo!

Ryan LOVING the Train!

Intrigued

The boys were so good today.  Seriously, they were SOOO good today.  They played together great.  They helped decorate the tree.  They helped empty the dishwasher THREE times today.  They just had a blast all day long with each other.

Only once did we have a little fight.  And it was actually pretty funny.  Ryan was pushing a kitchen chair over to the counter and he bumped into Owen and knocked him over (he didn’t get hurt).  Ryan said “O-wee.  I no mean to.  It an accident.  I no mean to.”  Owen started crying anyway and toddled over to me for love and hugs.  I told Ryan he needed to apologize to Owen even though it was “just an accident”.  Ryan went over to Owen to give him a hug and say he’s sorry and just as soon as Ryan went in for the hug, Owen smacked Ryan’s face straight on.  He didn’t get hurt, but boy did it take him (and ME!) by surprise.  Neither of us were expecting that!  Owen just had this pouty look on his face as if to say, “there.  I got you back.”

Well, I told Owen that he now needed to apologize to Ryan too and Owen said “Nooooo…..Nooooooo……” and was shaking his head no.  So, off Owen went to time-out.  Ryan LOVED that his little bro needed a time out and when I was making Owen sit in time out Ryan said “See O-wee.  You hit and you go time out.  You no say sorry and you have to go time out.  I say sorry and I no have time out.  Sorry O.”

About 30 seconds after we left the room, Owen started crying and when we (me and Ryan) went back in there Owen was very quick to give hugs to both me and Ryan and said “sor” (for sorry).  And then they went back to playing as if nothing happened.  Brothers.

So our house is decorated.  The tree is up.  Our bellies are full and the kids are sleeping.  Delta is exhausted and I am now blogging and enjoying a glass of wine.  Aaaaaahhhhh….. a perfect ending to a perfect day. And really, who wouldn’t love their day when it consisted of snuggles from my little Santa man?!

Loves From Little Santa Man!

Tired, Tired Delta

Hello sweethearts

Hope your both ok and keeping busy, missing you lots and lots today – but that’s alright.

Still not really doing much at the moment, mostly playing with my phone and watching films. I’ll probably be glad of the rest this time next week!.

Love you both soooooo much!

Daddy xx

For Thanksgiving, we always go to Jim’s dads house in Big Canoe, Georgia.  I love it up there.  It is so peaceful and beautiful.  And filled with good company.  This year was no exception to that.  The entire family made it up there which meant 14 adults and 8 kids ranging in age from 1 year to 12 years.

Megan Sheridan

Josh Hannah, Tyler Sheridan & Colin Hannah

Ryan absolutely loved playing with “Holin and Jamie” who are really known as Colin and Josh to the rest of us.  Ryan has been talking about them nonstop since we left there.  He talks about how he played football with them.  And how he watched a movie with them.  And how he went outside with them.  Seriously, Ryan absolutely loved them.  And they seemed to really enjoy Ryan as well.  They were so good with him and watched out for him so that he didn’t go down the hill or run into the road.

Thanksgiving Football

Daddy & Owen

Lucas & Hudson Brown

Ryan Playing Football

And it certainly wouldn’t have been a Thanksgiving holiday without the annual “kid pic” outside.  This year was just as chaotic and crazy as in the past (remember this?).  However, this year, it was Owen who was the little trouble maker.  He had just woken up from his nap and didn’t get a chance to finish eating his lunch yet when it was announced that it was “picture time!”  So needless to say, Owen wasn’t the happiest camper ever.  He cried and refused to sit.  But after some quick thinking and a little bride of a lollipop, I think we managed to get a decent photo or two.

Photo 1

Photo 2

Photo 3

Photo 4

Photo 5

Photo 6

Overall, what a great, GREAT Thanksgiving Day.  We couldn’t be more thankful for all the family, friends and love we have in our lives.  We truly are blessed.  Thanks Jim & Janice for another wonderful time in Big Canoe!  And the absolutely wonderful meal.  Yum!!

The day after my first Thanksgiving, my dad had off, which was truly amazing for a cop.  My mom had to work, which was much of the case for my first year.  They were able to fix their schedules so that someone would be home with me, and I didn’t need a sitter until after my first birthday.

Like any good husband, my dad decided to take advantage of the sales and start the Christmas shopping for my mom.  Besides this got him and his baby daughter out of the house.  Plus, plus, right?

Except Black Friday was always a mad house, always is a mad house, and always will be a mad house, for ever and ever.  Amen.

As my dad tried to push his way through the crowds at the mall with a baby stroller, my nearly-five-month-old self waved my fist in front of me trying to clear a path.  Because even then I didn’t like crowds.

Tonight at dinner, my dad will retell the story for everyone, imitating a baby waving her fist in front of her as everyone laughs at the antics.  Which is fine.  Because my dad, mom, grandma did not even think to invite me to their crazy, chaotic shopping trip at 4. In the morning.  And I thank them.  Because if there is one thing I hate more than crowds, it’s mornings.

What you will need:

• A potato cut in half and then each half carved into a shape
• Powder paint or other child-safe paint, poured thinly into a large flat dish so that your child can use it as a stamp pad
• Cardboard folded into half to make a card, or a large piece of paper to print onto
• Messy play clothing

What to do:

• Show your child how to stamp the potato into the paint, so that it gets paint onto it’s cut-out surface
• Stamp the painted potato onto the card or paper
• Stamp lots of shapes all over till it’s filled with colour

Why:

• To encourage creativity and explorative play
• To stimulate the tactile sense and promote eye-hand coordination
• To use as part of a special gift for Mommy on a special just-because day

Since my dad has been here for my thanksgiving break and I have been showing him around, I have had the opportunity to make a few observations about father/daughter relationships which I will bring to light.

It’s amazing, that no matter how much older we all get, we still resort to the same old routine and mannerisms that we had with our parents when we were say, 10 years old.

1.  Somehow you still hold on to the belief that your pouty, trembling lower lip will have the same devastating effect on him that it had all of those 11 years ago.  Now it still works, although only sometimes so I have to use it sparingly.  (Oh the joys of being the only female offspring!)

2.  He still gets an inordinate amount of pleasure from embarrassing you in public.  Why else would he throw up his arms as you cross through Checkpoint Charlie from East to West Berlin and shout, with his arms up, “FREE AT LAST!”  The feeling I had at that moment was only slightly less mortified than when he showed up to my sixth grade dance, unmissable with his over 6 foot frame, and proceeded to wade through the little 11 year olds and call my name in order to get me to leave said dance.  It was awhile before I was able to sum up the courage to claim him as my relation.

3.  It’s obviously his fault that you desperately have to go the bathroom for the 123rd time that day while you are trekking through the wilderness of Potsdam (home of the Potsdam Conference of 1945) looking for some castle.  (Hey!  Drinking water is healthy!)  No doubt the freezing cold and occasional downpour was as well.  Subsequently you proceed to list the umpteenth bodypart that is in pain, mind you after at least 2 hrs of hiking, he asks whether or not you still have any that are still in tact you reply with, “Well, my mouth.”  (Thank god so as to notify him of any ailments that should still arise.)

BUT, not to worry, all ill-will is forgotten once we’re both toasty warm and digging into a good italian dinner back on Oranienburgerstrasse.

“Get Dad involved from the start… make bath time his responsibility. Get everything ready, close the bathroom door and leave them to it. Dad will enjoy the responsibility and you will enjoy the short break.”

–Deborah A.

Hi kids. I thought I’d post a video for you today – although you may have already seen it.

hope you both like it!

miss you loads and love you both

Daddy xx

Ryan invited mommy and daddy to have lunch with him at Woodchase Academy on Wednesday prior to Thanksgiving.  The whole class decorated the room and made special gifts for the parents.  Ms. April did an awesome job and the kids were so excited to have their parents be part of their Thanksgiving lunch.  It’s the only class that has a parents luncheon and what fun it was!  There were 11 kids in class on Wednesday and every single kid had at least one parent present.  Most had both parents and even a sibling or two.

Senior Toddler B Thanksgiving Luncheon

Ryan & Mommy

Ryan & Daddy

The kids went around the room and said what they were thankful for.  Ryan of course was thankful for “O-wee”.  Not mommy or daddy like most of the other kids, but rather “O-wee”.  It was quite alright with me though!  I love how close these two boys are with each other.  They constantly look out for one another and always have to be near each other.  Whenever Ryan gets a snack or drink or toy for himself, he always makes sure he gets one for Owen too.

I am hopeful this closeness and bond they share never changes.  They will have their moments I’m sure, but I hope they remain just as close as they are today!

PS – My Thanksgiving Number 1 was our annual Thanksgiving luncheon at Meeting Expectations!  It was so yummy!

Once upon a time, I believed that Daddy would get well again. Every night I prayed that he would get up and be able to walk again, that he would be able to attend my college graduation and see me in the future as a doctor. I knew that he would be very proud of me. But most of all, I prayed for time, more time for me to make up for all the times I never was a good daughter to him.

I can still remember how the funeral equipment lowered his coffin six feet below the ground on May 24, 2005. It’s still fresh in my memory, as if it only happened yesterday. I knew at that moment that that would be the last time I would ever see him (in this mortal world, at least).

Ever since my brother and I started school, Daddy had been our personal driver. He would always wake up early in the morning to warm up our van’s engine and take us to school. In the afternoon, he would drive again to school to pick us up. If we had projects or group works and had to stay longer after class, he would wait at the parking lot, patiently and quietly. That was his daily routine.

Daddy had always been a really silent person. He didn’t express his feelings too often. That’s why my brother and I have always been a lot closer to Mommy. I can’t remember any instances wherein I hugged or kissed him, except when he was already sick. We only became close when he got sick. But although Daddy was not so expressive (and I think I inherited that trait from him), I know that he loved us very much, especially me. Daddy had always been proud of me. I was always among the best students at school. I remember one time when he picked me up from school, he told me that I topped the entrance exam in the most reputable high school in our city. He was so proud of me that he drove directly to McDonald’s Drive-thru to give me a treat. I was in 6th grade then. I will never forget that. It will always be embedded in my memory.

When Daddy was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS, have you read “Tuesdays with Morrie”? That’s exactly what Morrie’s disease was), it was as if our whole family got sick too. It was so difficult to take care of him. Daddy’s nerves were dying, and he was losing the ability to move his muscles, day by day. It was very hard for us, of course. We had to watch over him day and night, 24 hours, 7 days a week. Because the three of us couldn’t watch over him all the time (my brother and I were still in high school), Mommy hired three caregivers for Daddy (3 shifts a day).

I think Dad’s disease was both a blessing and a curse. A curse, because he had to suffer paralysis (it was like him imprisoned in a shell), pain from diagnostic tests, and the loss of the ability to talk (paralyzed vocal chords). It was also a curse because we, as the remaining members of the family, had to suffer too. We had to take care of him even if we were tired, even if we were upset or in a bad mood. However, it was also a blessing because it served as a key for us to be able to get closer to Daddy. God gave us a chance to know Daddy better, to be able to talk to him more, to be able to serve him, to be able to take care of him. Daddy was really a good and wonderful person. It was just not so obvious before because of his being non-expressive; but because of that disease, Dad became vulnerable and we were able to see through him.

Aside from his numerous medications, lab tests, medical consults, ventilators, caregivers and all, the daily rent for the ventilator pulled our resources down to almost zero. The disease had finally reached his diaphragm by then. Almost all our family friends (even Dad’s relatives!) were telling us to just take off the ventilator and let him rest (in peace). Of course, we would never do that. Even if our resources got down to negative, we would still never do that. Not ever.

While Daddy was sick, I would kiss him before I left for school and as soon as I arrive home. Before going to sleep, I would always tell him, “I love you.” Those were the moments I was closest with him. I already accepted that he would be gone anytime soon, but still I believed that he would get well again. Maybe not in this world, but in the world to come.

Happy birthday, Daddy. I love you and I miss you.