“One man may be the difference between victory and defeat.” – The Emperor (Mulan).

I left the meeting, obviously rather deflated. Although I had thwarted my Consultants threats of the ‘brittle’ diabetes diagnosis, brought down my average and generally felt the best I had all year it all amounted to zilch, absolutely nothing as the issue around my weight remained. I therefore headed to my DSN’s office to discuss any other options. What a breath of fresh air he brought me! We discussed the use of Liraglutide in more detail and one other option he felt could benefit my situation given that I was willing to be 110% attentive.

We discussed at length what I wanted, why and how we, together could achieve it. He felt strongly that Liraglutide was the way forward, after trialling a couple of other patients on it with great success! He was to go and fight my corner with the Consultant, armed with what I have already tried and my commitment to the task and I was to go home, wait on any news and if all efforts failed try plan b. The call came a couple of days later and it was disappointing news. I had upheld my part of the bargain with the Consultant by lowering my HbA1c substantially and my prize? To continue as I am because if I can make such a difference in that area then I don’t need any help in the other areas. My DSN was clearly disappointed on my behalf too as he proposed all the tests and referrals that he had been asked to with a degree of pointlessness. So I moved myself onto plan b.

Plan b – to decrease all basal rates and bolus ratios by 10-20%.

I started the plan on Thursday 23^rd August. I have decreased all insulin by 20% and my blood glucose levels have not changed much, surprisingly. I have undertaken this experiment with the idea that I am heavily insulin resistant. The theory is that if I decrease the amount of insulin my body is taking over 24 hours then the cells will be able to cope easier, and take up the insulin I am pumping in more efficiently. My DSN suggested that I am ‘over-insulinating’, creating resistance and new cell production when it really is not needed.

So far, so good. I have experienced a few hypo’s on the lower doses in fact and am looking, maybe on Thursday 30^th August to decrease a little more depending on further BG test results. It is really interesting to measure just how little an effect all them lost units are having on my general day-to-day BG levels. Watch this space!

Another round of blood tests are waiting in the wings, ones that I have had twice before in the past 12 months. I am, in the meantime, left with my own thoughts and negative feelings and nothing of real substance to keep me positive or on track. I feel let down, unsupported and in a way depressed. A sweeping statement I know, but I am balancing on a thin line between positivity and negativity.. it really is not going to take a lot to swing it one way or another.

“The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all.” – Mulan.

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” – Lao Tzu.

Before I go any further I will give you a quick insight into what exactly I have done to help myself:
1. Stopped diet fizzy drinks due to reports on aspartame and insulin resistance
2. Stopped all caffeine products due to Blood Glucose spikes
3. Started low-carbohydrate, low-calorie diet (around 50g carbs, 1300 cals daily)
4. Trialled Orlistat but experienced no side-effects
5. Self-referred twice to my DAFNE dietician
6. Took Metformin for six months to reduce insulin resistance
7. Increased exercise daily to include 11 miles cycling as well as 2-3 miles walking
8. Started on the Pump – “Bully”

“When will my reflection show who I am inside?” – Mulan.

After the praise for an overall percentage drop of 1.7 in three months the weight issue came. “There’s just one thing that needs addressing…” “My weight” I interrupted. This is the point at which my confidence slides away and I am reduced to keeping tears back whilst they suggest impossible tasks that they themselves could not see through. I presented the list, above, and waited, waited, waited. I asked about the possibility of trialling Liraglutide to help with insulin resistance and further help my HbA1c readings. “NO.” and that was that, apparently the weight would simply bounce back and I would be no better off! Although completely unfounded, the claim did shock me and despite several attempts to discuss what I HAVE done the suggested plan I left with was to restrict my diet to 1000 calories a day and see how I cope.
1000 calories, you read that right. It is incredible, in fact scary, that a professional (a registrar) can let you go away with that as a six month plan. I am desperate for answers but NOT that desperate that I will willingly starve myself for the foreseeable future. Am I to believe that they themselves live by that? No, I didn’t think so.

In the Meantime I’ll Sit in the Shadows: Part 2 can be found here.

This is something of an autobiographical song. No further explanation necessary, Enjoy!

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© 2012 Danie.

LYRICS

I’m always searching
Looking for something else
It seems I’m never satisfied

Wanting more
So much more

My cup is never full
Feels like I’m missing
Or something’s lost
I’m never content
It’s like I’m trying to remember what I forgot

Wanting more
So much more

And when I find what I’m looking for
Will I finally be happy or
Wanting more
Will I ever feel like I fit in
Or wind up searching for the next big thing
I’ll never know
I’ll never know

She always seems to know
Her next big move, cause her life’s a show
She plans out everything
I’m so jealous
‘Cause she’s living my dream

I want more
So much more

And when I find what I’m looking for
Will I finally be happy or
Wanting more
Will I ever feel like I fit in
Or wind up searching for the next big thing
How can I know
How can I know

It’s exhausting
Always searching
Always hoping and never achieving

It’s exhausting
Always searching
Always hoping and never achieving

And when I find what I’m looking for
Will I finally be happy or
Wanting more
Will I ever feel like I fit in
Or wind up searching for the next big thing

And when I find what I’m looking for
Will I finally be happy or
Wanting more
Will I ever feel like I fit in
Or wind up searching for the next big thing
I want to know
I want to know

“Retinopathy isn’t an inevitable downward slide, it can start and end there.” - My DSN

Take back your control. #youcandothis

Another week has passed and I am still waiting on the appointment from the Eye Clinic/Specialist.
Waiting only adds to the apprehension of what might be and although I have decided to be positive and take everything in my stride, nerves have set in as more time goes by. It is a natural reaction and so one that I cannot tame and if truth be told do not wish to tame! After all if I had no emotion about such a situation; what hope is there that I stabilise myself and hold onto my generally good health? In Diabetes there is no room for complacency.

 
I have, in the past week, taken it upon myself to research what has been trialled in the field of retinopathy (diabetes related eye disease). One truly interesting piece of research which cropped up time and again was the effects of the ancient Tibetan Goji berry on prevention and stabilisation of retinopathy. The Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF, 2012) state on their website “the researchers found that the taurine in the Goji berry activated a protein called PPAR-gamma, which plays a crucial role in regulating retinal cells. The protein protected against the death of cells caused by high blood glucose levels, thereby helping the cells that provide a protective barrier to the retina”. This lends hope to millions of individuals living with Diabetes and those who already are afflicted with retinopathy, with further studies to hopefully take place into the miraculous properties of these ancient berries on human participants. Taurine is best and most clearly defined as “an organic and abundant amino acid in the human body” (Binczewski, 2012). It is already well known as a natural high blood pressure remedy, a co-morbidity of Diabetes.
I have, therefore, stocked up on all things Goji in my quest for a clean bill of eye health! Here are this weekend’s pickings:

After reading another #DOC member’s blog from Michael Aviad on ‘A Sweet Life’ I have truly accepted that I am indeed lucky to have been given a follow up review. If there is something that requires laser treatment then I cannot deny that finding it so incredibly early will only better my chances of stabilising it from today onwards. In fact I am already on the way to reducing my high glucose levels effects on my eyes, I have dropped my HbA1C by an amazing .4% in six weeks, a reduction which is considered to be within safe limits so as not to cause further damage. Hurrah! As @AnnieCoops tweeted me early last week, a drastic reduction in HbA1C can cause as much damage as running at high levels over a prolonged period of time and not many people realise that.

“HAKUNA MATATA” – (No worries) The Lion King.

Above is a wonderful and inspirational quote from The Lion King, a new phrase which I have taken to heart and very much believe in. There is no point in me sat worrying over something which may already have taken place but what I can do is make sure I minimise the effects by slowly reducing my daily BG results and tightening all aspects of my Diabetes, as my lovely DSN said on Thursday “retinopathy isn’t an inevitable downward slide, it can and will be stabilised. It can start and end there”.

 
Good Luck to everyone who is currently in the same position as Michael and I and thank you all so much for your kind words of support! I will leave you with this final thought:

“The way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it” – Rafiki.

Vic has been doing so well. Ever since the arm surgery she has coped well with the arm and the pain. The Jurnista is truly a miracle drug!

On Thursday Vic went out for coffee. She drove her own little car… it was less than 2 kilometers but she drove! She was exhausted when she got home but she did not “crash”! She fractured another vertebrae on the 12th of August (http://wp.me/p2rPrS-bA ) but she is coping with the pain! She handled an emotional crisis well on Saturday and today she dished up her own lunch! It is remarkable that she is doing so well. Two months ago I was at my wits end. Vic was totally reliant upon me for everything! Due to the Jurnmista she has started taking back her life… Slowly but surely!

We have started planning our December vacation. Danie and I will take the boys and Henk to Germany for a two week vacation. Vic want’s to spend a week on her own and I want her to go to a Spa for the 2nd week… In the European Spring Vic and I are going to Italy!!!!

Life is great!

A question that springs to mind when considering the quote above is; do we really want to know everything that is to be known? Knowledge is power but ignorance is bliss, so they say.

It was ignorance that I wished for on Friday and selfishly; to be free of Diabetes. For the first time in my life I really wished I didn’t have Diabetes, the knowledge of its existence and the frightening sagacity into its possible complications. On a day when things had started to look much more positive the receiving of a letter changed that, again…

FRIDAY:
Friday started well with a great Blood Glucose result first thing followed by a wonderful walk in the sunshine through the fields near-by. It was incredibly quiet but that just added to the enjoyment, it was 06:00am though so I guess it wasn’t going to be bustling! The walk helped clear my head, preparing me for the work day ahead and finally I started to feel right again. I felt great in fact, the best I had felt in weeks!
My BG levels hovered wonderfully within the considered “normal” range of 4.4 – 4.8mmols/L (79.2 – 86.4mg/dl) and it made for a great working day. Lunch was taken, a meal which I had not participated in for the past three weeks (nor breakfast) and to put it succinctly I was me again and a successful day was had.

“Something feels funny, I must be thinking too hard!” – Winnie the Pooh

After work a letter awaited me at home, sat neatly on the kitchen table beckoning for me open it. I had a bad feeling as my eyes fell upon its postmark; at its touch I knew immediately it wasn’t news which I wished to receive and since I had attended my retinal screening four weeks previous I knew what it contained. My results. I can’t explain why I had such an intense ominous feeling and I had never had a call back any less than annually in all the years following my diagnosis so being generally nonchalant would not be out of the ordinary in such a situation; yet I just knew that this time the contents were going to be different. I guess it was a gut feeling, I believe you know yourself better than anyone, don’t you?

I was right. It was different, still the standard generic lettering and meaningless words, but they were intended differently. This time I was advised about a referral to my local eye clinic for a second opinion, no treatment just another expert peering into my retinas looking for evidence of something they are not even sure is there. It was not the worst letter to receive but certainly not the best! Shock was my initial reaction (of course!) and then logic, thankfully. I allowed a few silent tears to roll down the cheek and hugs were given here and there and I was back to feeling ‘down in the dumps’ again. The letter I received wasn’t there to shock nor worry me yet the standardisation of it means it comes across blasé and impersonalised (causing shock); something it should not be when receiving such delicate news. As I said at the beginning of this post, knowledge is indeed power and ignorance is bliss; although the prospect of laser treatment is a scary one it also means I can begin to understand and make informed changes alongside any necessary care to better my chances and ultimately my health.

Another walk, with my Mum, and a good old chat helped put things into perspective with several repeats of it over the weekend and today I feel I have now managed to lift the little black cloud from over my head once and for all. After all, feeling sorry for myself isn’t going to get me anywhere is it? I’m back to my ‘glass half full’ outlook on life and I am determined that whether or not I end up requiring treatment it will be the first and last time that I put myself in such a situation. I am armed with my trusty pump “Bully”, my old sense of logic and a new found fighting spirit!

“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think” – Christopher Robin

Come on then Diabetes – give me your best shot.

This is the song I wrote last week, that counts towards The Experiment. I wrote this song about losing someone you love, and finding memories of them in unexpected places.

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ModelRockstar

© 2012 Danie.

LYRICS

I try
To hold onto your light as it slips away
It slips
Until no other memories remain
I came
Unglued at the thought of losing you again
It’s true
I’ve got nothing without you

I find you
When I look in the rain
I find you
Where hope still remains
I find you
In the shadows of the sun
Even if all hope is gone
I hold on
I hold on

I fought
Everything to try and keep you here
You’re gone
Now all I want is to fade and disappear
You were
Everything I dreamed of; my dreams have died
Without you
It’s a nightmare come alive

I find you
When I look in the rain
I find you
Where hope still remains
I find you
In the shadows of the sun
Even if all hope is gone
I hold on
I hold on

There’s nothing left if
I’m left without you
There’s no hope if
My hope is gone
There’s no living if
My dreams are dying
But I will hold on
I will hold on

I find you
When I look in the rain
I find you
Where hope still remains
I find you
In the shadows of the sun
Even if all hope is gone

I find you
When I look in the rain
I find you
Where love still remains
I find you
In the shadows of the sun
Even if all hope is gone
I hold on
I hold on
I hold on

“Now here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!” – The Red Queen

Managing Diabetes can feel like that somedays.

If you are not familiar with the story so far please see Blood Sweat & Tears: Part 1 and Part 2.
Following a relatively short stay in hospital the aftershock of the experience has left me exhausted and irritable. It is now 13 days since I arrived in A&E/ER yet I am still not feeling myself, I cannot explain it but I know I am just not me. DKA is a scary prospect and an experience which comes on incredibly quietly and with great speed. I was very lucky in realising the signs, being able to take preventive actions and hence having a minimal stay on a Medical Assessment Unit (MAU) albeit in a much unprepared environment!

“Only a few find the way, some don’t recognize it when they do – some… don’t ever want to” – The Cheshire Cat.

On the day after discharge my relationship with food had changed to a great degree, I had no appetite. I struggled to find things that I fancied to eat and to this day I still am. I have had only one meal per day over the past 13 days and just do not feel any inclination to eat yet I know I need to. It’s a strange uninterested state to be in but I will see how the next week goes. My mouth suffered a lot during the event, becoming dry and sore. Swallowing was a chore and knife-like stabbing pains consumed my gums, tongue, palate and throat at the mere touch of food. Still, now, I require much more water through the day and feel as though my mouth dries out quickly; something which I had never had or just maybe never considered before. I go nowhere without a bottle of water!
Another change which has taken place is irritability and exhaustion. Mentally I am tired, so tired that I have no idea where I have been, nor what I have done over the past few days and I dreaded my return to work today. Having been to the GP on Monday last I was signed off on sick for a week to recover, no input from me but the details of my hospital admission was needed and a full week of rest was quickly prescribed and was a weight lifted off of my mind. Until today, when I returned. Physical exhaustion walks hand in hand with the mental and most activities wear me out enough to warrant a cat-nap in an afternoon, eyes stinging. This has been getting better each day, slowly, but still I feel unready for the stress and physical strength that my work demands and once you are back, YOU ARE BACK!
I am finishing off this post now, after my first day back, and I aren’t as exhausted as I thought I would be yet it was a little tough to get through. My work requires attention, a good memory and moving and handling skills – to go from sitting at home typing and resting it was a major change. I needed the reality check though and I am pleased I have managed it, looking back!
Finally, my personality hasn’t quite returned. I am a little lack-lustre at the moment and cannot find any real pleasure in most of my hobbies. Walking is the only hobby I have participated in since discharge and the thoughts of doing any others such as reading (for pleasure) and cycling are far from my mind. I have been easy to upset in recent days, becoming teary at nothing in particular and seem to be going through a ‘fed up’ phase where nothing seems to fit quite right in any areas of my diabetes management. This may have something to do with the feelings of helplessness I got when I knew I was entering DKA yet could do no more than what I had already and hand over my control to the hospital staff. A scary prospect and a vulnerable state are never going to make you feel on top of the world!
DKA isn’t just a quick event, a scary “here one minute gone the next” type of process but it stays with you, niggling at you for days after.
Please do not lead your life blind to ketones and the effects. They are scary but they can also be tamed, if you know how!

“Oh, how I wish I could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only knew how to begin” – Alice in Wonderland.

Any comments, stories and/or hints/tips are more than welcome, as always, just post them below and share!

I have stage fright. I’ve always had stage fright at least a little bit. However, my last relationship had made it a lot worse. Because my self esteem had taken such a huge beating, it affected the stage fright to almost become debilitating. Physically I would start trembling, my body temp would go up, I would sweat, feel dizzy, and basically pray that the ground would swallow me up, rather than have to get on stage.

I had an audition early 2011 (shortly after my breakup). It was for a major recording studio, as a songwriter. I was so excited! This was my chance to pursue the thing I’ve always wanted! My big break! Dreams being realized… and all that. When I got to the studio, I didn’t feel nervous, and I thought I had finally conquered it. Maybe after I got the strength to get out of the bad relationship, I had the strength to beat this too! I went into the room to play. The A&R Rep, as well as the president of the company was in the room with me. Right outside the door, listening, sat the head songwriters and the owners of the company. (No Pressure.) I started to play. As I went through the intro my hands started to shake. I felt myself turning bright red. I could feel my whole body heat up at least 20 degrees and start trembling uncontrollably. I was trying to breath, but was just focusing on hitting the right keys. When I opened my mouth to sing, what came out was horrible. It wasn’t my voice. It was off key, pitchy, shaky, and sounded like the laugh track from American Idol. I was beyond humiliated. Needless to say, they no longer wanted to work with me. I was absolutely devastated. But, as with a life pursing the arts, I had to move on.

After I had met Daniel and shared my stage fright with him. He helped (is helping) me take it in baby steps. My next big accomplishment was karaoke. I had never had the nerve to sing karaoke before then. For my first time, he rented a small room (just the 2 of us) at a local karaoke place. And I was able to sing, just to him. Even then I was scared, believe it or not. BUT, I eventually was able to sing in the big karaoke room, in front of strangers, and now… we are karaoke regulars! That’s just a start though, I was determined to be able to perform original music, so I kept practicing and writing. I was able to avoided humiliation until about 6 months ago.

I hadn’t had any other major stage fright moments until I was auditioning to be a model for Wilhelmina of PA. Before this casting I had done quite a few runway shows and felt confident that I was better than almost everyone I had seen audition so far. I felt good, I had it in the bag. But, when they called my name I walked out onto the runway. I felt my body heat up 20 degrees. I started shaking uncontrollably. I could hardly keep my ankles still, much less walk straight. I looked like I was taking my first steps. Then, when I was exiting, I fell off the stage. Seriously.

I was caught by a very handsome actor (and even though being caught wasn’t so bad) I was beyond mortified. I hadn’t expected the stage fright at that moment. Mentally I had been prepared (like before). I had control over my thoughts and was in a good state, until my body just freaked out. Thankfully, this experience turned out better than with the record agency. I was signed despite the horrific trip down the catwalk (turns out they didn’t need to fill any runway division spots… so they were more interested in my pictures than my walking abilities.)

Anyway, the point is, Stage Fright is a fear that I have been working on overcoming. It doesn’t really work well into my goals and dreams of being a singer/songwriter/musician. Even if I’m a demo singer, I have to be able to audition without feeling like I’m going to pee my pants every time. (And being able to sing on key for auditions, is usually a pretty good thing too.)

This is why for one of my goals during the experiment I have to perform 5 times.

And one amazing experience that I hadn’t gotten a chance to blog about yet, was my experience during Make Music New York 2012. I performed, in public, for a full 30 minute set. By myself. In public. By myself. Did I mention it was in public?

I dragged my keyboard down to Inwood Park, with the help of the ever-supportive and wonderful Daniel. I played a combination of originals and covers. A group of kids stopped to listen. A few strolling couples sat at nearby benches to hear some music and one woman even came back afterwards to ask me if I would be playing again anytime soon. It was the first time, that I can remember, not being absolutely terrified while performing solo. I was thrilled… and I still am thrilled. It means I’m slowly but surely overcoming my fear!

While I can’t count that performance towards my “Experiment” I CAN count 2 others. I auditioned for another studio as a demo singer. They have expressed interest, and currently are working on some songs for me to record. (They are also trying to recruit Daniel for some male demos… a 2 for 1 deal ;-D). And yesterday, I had a Wilhelmina casting in PA, and after I finished the runway and acting casting, I was surprised when the president of the agency asked me to sing. I did. It was scary as hell, and even though it was a little shaky, it was on pitch and I was complimented on my performance afterwards. YAY!

So… here’s to overcoming obstacles!

To follow my progress on “The Experiment,” like me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter.

“How puzzling all these changes are! I’m never sure what I’m going to be, from one minute to another.”

- Alice in Wonderland.

Be DKA aware. You could save a life.

Initially the ward was good, water brought, baselines asked, BG taken and a once over by the Doctor and Student on shift. Abdominal examinations and chest sounds were done twice and X-Ray’s organised for later. A sliding scale was set up and my pump removed, relinquishing my control was a scary moment but it had to be done and I knew it, more fluids were pushed through and then a slower bag put up over 4hours. My BG was to be taken hourly, Ketones in urine to be tested (they don’t work with blood ketones) regularly and pain to be monitored and this did happen for most of the morning/afternoon. However as the day wore on I gradually had less and less visits and at one point I had four hours of no BG testing and no Ketone testing! I did them myself; I needed know how things were going! Considering I was in with Viral Gastroenteritis and DKA not having these basic needs fulfilled and recorded was shocking and I told them so – much to their horror! All staff were nice, smiley and showed false concern but lacked common sense at times, a most favourable and valuable characteristic in nursing.

After four X-Rays on my chest and abdomen food was served – a tuna sandwich and cheese with crackers. Fair enough, nothing wrong with trying food after having none for a very long time, I sat up and opened the sandwich. My mouth was dreadful, on the first bite pain seared through my gums and over the roof of my mouth, trailing down the throat. I quickly tried to swallow it away, downing a glass of water to gain relief but it took more glasses than just that. To describe it I can only suggest it was like having knives jutting into every surface of my mouth and throat, scraping tender skin away and drying all in its path. This pain was in a league of its own and halted me from trying food again until hours later.

Fluids and Glucose IV’s started to be alternated come 11pm and my hands became sore, irritated by the Glucose passing through them in such purity. I was not to get any relief through the night nor sleep and at 11:30 when my Mum was asked to leave until the morning I cried, who wants to be alone in such discomfort and no trust in the staff looking after them? Roll on Wednesday, only a few hours away…

“There is a place. Like no place on Earth. A land full of wonder, mystery, and danger! Some say to survive it: You need to be as mad as a hatter.” – The Mad Hatter

After a long night on a hot ward with no sleep 06:30am came around and another BG test. 2.7mmols/L this time, how did I not feel that? I instinctively reacted and treated myself with a pineapple juice box recovering with a nice and stable 7.7mmols/L only for the Nurse to arrive again and put another Glucose IV up despite being in safe limits again. Not their best decision, an hour later arrived all too soon and as I had expected a raised BG came along with it. Here my angel arrives in the form of my DSN, she suggested all IV lines could be taken down and reattachment to the pump be made – Hurrah! Control would soon be mine again, or so I thought! She was to consult my Doctor and ask for discharge, the ward nurse however suggested the Consultant (a diabetes specialist himself) doing the ward round would see me and handle it from there. OK so I didn’t mind who discharged me so long as it was done. At this point the healthcare assistant came through declaring an input/output chart needed to be filled in hourly – shouldn’t this have been in place since my admission? Yes, she herself was disgusted and I suggested that they wouldn’t gain much from it now considering I had spent most of the night up and down to the bathroom, tripping over my fluid lines as I went. There was no doubt about it, I was definitely hydrated now.

Three hours later and no sign of being seen or hint of a discharge letter and I rang my buzzer to request all lines taking down and to be seen. The staff nurse came and unbelievably she told me she would have to get in touch with MY consultant as he had to see me. This all could have been done 3 hours ago! Whilst they waited they put up another Glucose IV, ignoring my requests to hold off, having a headache and tiredness from being kept hyperglycaemic over the last three hours. It was incredulous to say the least. My Consultant came quickly along with my DSN again, who was infuriated at the lack of care I had received; they discharged me immediately requesting all lines down ASAP and pump therapy to be recommenced. Finally.

My time in hospital was a little short of 36 hours but it seemed a lifetime, I came home and had no sense of time or day. Surely it wasn’t only yesterday that this nightmare started? I realise my experience was mild in comparison to some others and I am very lucky to have recognised the signs and symptoms myself whilst still able to function and react. All in all I had 100mls of insulin through a sliding scale, 5000-6000mls of fluids and 1500mls of Glucose in just 24 hours.

I have found a new respect for my Diabetes since this experience, I haven’t always given it credit for severity and that has, as I found out last week, been a very dangerous path to take. After never having complications, ketones or a hospital admission since diagnosis I had become somewhat complacent and this was a timely reminder that sometimes as a person with Diabetes I can be more vulnerable in times of illness and that is not something to be ashamed of!

DKA is a serious complication of Type 1 (primarily, HONK for Type 2) and action should be taken swiftly. Know the signs and be DKA aware, you may just save a life!

It was my first experience of DKA; in fact it was my first experience of ketones! Having had viral gastroenteritis presenting in the early hours of Saturday morning I thought I was handling things rather well. My BG was stable, between 4-7mmols/L despite no food and only water being taken. Tuesday changed everything.

Waking up at 05:30am I was incredibly ill, head interference and lights swam across my vision as I stood and headed for the bathroom. Sickness consumed me and I felt weak, calling from the bathroom I asked Mum to bring my BG meter. Taking one look at me she thought I needed hypo treatment STAT. I was jaundiced, sweaty and exhausted but I refused, I needed to test first just to make sure. 26.8mmols/L. Bring me water! Bolus insulin! Don’t panic! I did all of these and took to my bed to play the waiting game.

That game didn’t last long, up came the water and back came the interference (something I cannot explain) a headache started and I tested, again. 28.2mmols/L. I felt shocking and found my way downstairs as Mum went to leave for work, she took a look at me and stopped. Guided me to the table and brought my blood ketone tester  – 5.5mmols/L that’s 4mmols/L ABOVE SEVERE. I was in trouble and I knew it.

Three steps needed to be taken and quick:

1. Humalog emergency pen injection – 6u.
2. TBR (Temporary Basal Rate) of 130% for four hours.
3. Attend ER/A&E – contact DSN team to let them know what’s happening.

As well as this I needed to drink, drink and drink water, keep awake and try not to start vomiting, again. Avoiding sleep whilst in DKA is vital even if you feel overwhelmingly tired. It was an incredibly quick process – developing ketones –  and a very dangerous line to walk as a person with Diabetes.

A&E was an hour away and with a lift from a family friend Mum and I made it quickly and smoothly. Triage was a blur and within 10 minutes I was being cannulised, having bloods drawn and blood gases taken; each hand and arm aching with pain after several attempts had been made. My DSN arrived in double quick time bringing along one of my Consultants with her. Blood results were checked and rechecked, arrangements were made and kind words said. I knew I was in good hands and with the promise of an early morning check I didn’t feel so bad, soon this would be all over, 24 hours and I could go home and be the picture of health! IV lines quickly came along with my Consultants orders and fluids pushed through my cannula at an alarming rate. ECG’s were printed neatly, blood pressure, Sp02 and heart rate recorded (all high and rapid) and soon I was on my way to the ward. A&E was fantastic, calm, quick and regulated; a smooth journey. I wish I could say that for the rest of my stay…

“Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had plenty of time as she went down to look about her and wonder what was going to happen next.” – Alice in Wonderland

For Part 2 please click here.

“Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly,

for she had plenty of time as she went down

to look about her and wonder what was going to

happen next.” - Alice In Wonderland

This week I experienced DKA – know the signs and respect Diabetes.

Ingvill, me, Kay, and Hayley in Amsterdam

Wow, it’s 7:23 am here and I just realized it’s already the 17 of July- we haven’t made a post in almost a month. Now that’s disappointing!! So where to begin is the real question… Due to traveling Kay and I have been doing separate things so I’m going to share my accounts of the last month and she can add-on later … She’s snoozing now. zzzzz

Hi friends-

I promise to be better about posting on here..it’s my goal to try to make daily posts but ya know life happens…anyway here is my latest update for you all..sorry it’s a novel it’s been awhile 

Let’s see.. I believe last time we updated Kay had decided to head off to Europe and I was still planning on staying in Central America… The Tiger has been packed the last few months and I have met some truly incredible people who will always and forever be a part of my life.
After the epic Grenada trips and days in the sun it’s hard to recount exactly what went down our last month in San Juan Del Sur. I went on a fishing trip with the “crew” (Sam, Fatty, Jake, Katie, and of course NT’s Ryan and Enrique). The day was beautiful and we even caught some fish! We got to slice and dice some of it right there on the rusted little boat and eat it straight from the ocean! NOM! But my favorite part was playing with the dolphins, we must have seen at least 100 of them all day and they were playing with us … So close to Katie and me, it was a magical day to say the least. It was a successful day fishing, dancing with dolphins, and catching a sunburn oh yeah did i mention i got the super awesome puking/pooing bug which resulted in me sneakily power puking off side of the pinga and once later almost nailing Ryan with my pink gatorade vom! But that’s a side not once we got back Chef Enrique put his skills to the test and made us 3 different fish plates; all of which were incredible!!! I was meant to go on an ox cart bar crawl this day as well but puking and drinking don’t really go hand in hand so I will let Kay fill you in on the details of  that excursion. All I know wad there were janky homemade wagons being pulled through town with a dj set up in the first wagon and they made stops at all the bars in town with the finally at the Tiger- everyone was shmammored to say the least.

There were many nights of dancing per the usual. I even had the joy of getting a fair share of toe ripped off one evening at the infamous Black Whale!

bye bye toe

A pretty popular Costa Rican band came through, CocoFunka, they stayed at the Tiger and played a show in town. After the performance they hangout with us all night and I even got 2 of their albums! You should really check them out – they can jam!!!

I must admit the last month at the Tiger was pretty much full of men. No complaints here but I really just had to get amongst it and do what boys do- and that is going to the Nicaraguan rodeo. It is so insane how drunk people like to instigate raging bulls. People actually die and the locals see it as no big deal! I saw a couple of close calls myself- it was entertaining to say the least. Then came “the Lad Pad” we filled our private room with all the sickest lads and hangout there a lot. Another group of guys came in from Florida (Sal, Travis, and Miles) and joined the group as well. Sal can rip on the guitar so he played a gig in town and we all went and watched. Our other friend, and our first friend in Aalborg besides Cam and Amina, Renee was also present for this action. We all became quick friends and I am beyond excited for our reunion next month in his town.

I hit the beach a couple of more times before we left and we went on a little tattoo binger right at the end. Kayla and I both have 7 tattoos now. I decided to leave the hostel a few days early for Managua. It was an incredible, unbelievable, unforgettable  yet fast 3 months at the Tiger. I left in chaos as usual… Stuffing my clothes into my bag with my feet, running around the house, and saying goodbyes all in 10 minute period.

Before I knew it I was on my way to Managua with Miles, Sal, Travis, Creighton, and Enrique!!! Me stuck with 5 surfers for two days? WINNING! We ended up in Managua by sundown- just in time for supper (pizza hut and hot wings ) Miles’s family was gracious enough to let us all stay at their beautiful home for a couple of nights. By far one of the nicest houses I’ve ever seen in Nicaragua. I even was treated to wine… Out of a bottle ! So classy! The next day we headed back down south to Popoyo one of the best surfing spots in and around the Central America area. I had never been and it was a beautiful day! I filmed the boys surfing before heading back to Managua for my last night. All of the boys were heading back to Florida that night but the fam let Creighton and I stay after they left. I ended up drinking amazing wine and looking at beautiful art work including a real life Picasso painting with Miles parents. His mom offered to give me a ride to the airport at 545 in the morning. So much gratitude and appreciation for Miles and his family.

By the time  I got to the Managua airport I was exhausted and quite tipsy from drinking wine and talking all night long. Once I made it on to the plane I immediately fell asleep (before take off) and was awoken by the very last person getting off the plane- I had to catch my connecting flight from Panama City to San Juan, Puerto Rico. Now that was a disaster I had to pick my bag up re-check it in go through security yada yada yada. What a mission from there I flew to Frankfurt, Germany. Luckily it was a redeye so I arrived in the am and slept all 3 plane rides. Once in Frankfurt I had a couple of hours to wait for Miss Saffron Joy to arrive so I just people watched. One of my all time favorite activities  It’s so amazing to see how much love surrounds an airport, it could be one of the happiest and saddest places on earth. Once, Saff arrived we went for our first “real” beer in months not the watered down $1 beers found in Nicaragua- but don’t get me wrong Tona and Victoria will always have a special place in my heart  After only one pint we both were surprised by the slight buzz we has already accumulated. After a brief catch up and plan making over our “beveri” (plural for beverages in NT language) we decided to jump  on a train from Frankfurt to Amsterdam. The train was about 4 hours long and we got to see some really cool things like the lock wall near Notre Dame. Nothing too exciting happened except for the extensive drooling that led from my mouth all the way down to my sweater.  Oops!

4th of July..Nicaragua to Panama to Puerto Rico to Germany to the Netherlands

Once, we arrived in the Dam, Saff and I were surprised about how tall everyone is. We are both over 5’10″ and we were just normal sized there… It was so different yet awesome at the same time! Then we had to figure out how to get to the apartment we were staying at… We don’t speak a word of dutch… But after a few questions and lost moments we jumped on the tram and headed to Jan Pieter Heijestraat…

Saffron and My first German Beer at the Frankfurt Airport

too be continued……

until then

xx

I cannot say whether I feel BETTER or not quite yet as unfortunately I have been laid up after contracting a bug. Neither can I say if more weight has been lost as I haven’t actually been able to get on the scales and see. Rubbish huh?

So I am 12 days in, (yes 12!), without fizzy drinks of any type and I am not craving them in the slightest! Shocking, I really thought I would suffer so much more considering just how many I used to consume. I was truly an addict and had no better pleasure than on a sunny day to crack open a cold can of whatever was on offer (so long as bubbles were involved) but… now? I have to think about what I want to drink, make decisions based on how I feel and actually set to making one up before drinking. That makes it sound kinda hard work but it’s not really! :)

I guess I could say I am making more informed choices and enjoying new drinks and flavours of squash, green tea and coffee (limited). There are a lot of choices out there and I have missed out on them for a very long time but I am taking this opportunity to try new options and give things a chance to WOW me. I no longer feel as thirsty as often and incredibly my BG’s have stabilised despite being ‘under the weather’.
I realise that water can be boring and I am the first to say “yippee” in a sarcastic tone at an offer of a glass but…
I HAVE NEVER DRANK SO MUCH FRESH WATER AND BEEN SO HYDRATED!

Even though, as I said above, I haven’t been able to clearly determine whether I feel better now the fizz is out of my system nor weigh myself for further results I know that quitting diet “pop” has been a great decision for me. I wish I had done it sooner. Hindsight is a wonderful thing but I guess doing it later than never is just as good and for me amazing. I am proud to not rely on the bubbles to fill me up, quench my thirst for a matter of an hour or affect my blood glucose – which may be a huge coincidence but then again may not be. A popular theory amongst researchers is that the caffeine content in diet soda can be to blame for, on average, an 8% rise in BG levels. Although diet drinks cannot be directly linked to raised blood glucose as none of the sweeteners such as aspartame, saccharin and sucralose contain sugar; the caffeine theory could provide an insight into why some people with Diabetes still struggle to control their glucose levels. Interesting…

   =

Since abstaining from diet coke and the like my BG levels have steadied an incredible amount over the past 12 days and I am hovering very nicely, more often than not, around the 4-7mmols/L mark. Brilliant! A few hypos have been had here and there but the randomisation to which I am so accustomed has been knocked down a rung or three and there are now reasons as to why I may be high. A sigh of relief to be had… so caffeine, are you to blame for the years of struggle, toil and silencing of reason? I aim to find out!

Further reading can be found at a click of these links:
Diet Drinks-Glucose Spikes?
Diet Soda and Weight Gain?
I am looking forward to being well and seeing any further results which quitting a lifelong addiction may bring. I will keep you all informed as always

For now, thanks for reading and I hope you share some of your own experiences. Please do not hesitate to comment, all hints, tips and stories welcome!