To download issues v1 1-3, v2 1-6, vs the Army of Darkness 1-4

Darkman

Wow… what are the odds that the same night I watch Marc Webb’s 500 Days of Summer (thanks Joe) he’s also officially announced as the director of the new Spiderman trilogy (trilogy?  Really?  Getting a bit ahead of themselves, aren’t they?)  Well… actually… it’s no surprise at all since the only real reason I was watching 500 Days of Summer is because of all the insane internet rumors flying around that Webb was the front-runner for the job.  What’s more surprising is that, sometimes, internet fanboy rumors turn out to be true.

Spidey-Reboot!

Now, if you’ve been living under a rock the last few days you might have missed the slight, though well PRed, falling out between Sam Rami, the acclaimed director of the first three Spiderman films, and Sony Pictures, the studio that owns the rights.  According to those very same rumors, the studio wanted a plethora of villains and Rami just wouldn’t budge (having already cast John Malkovich as the Vulture.)  I guess that makes this a classic case of “creative difference” in which one of the parties tells the other to “f*ck off.”

Sam Rami: Spiderman's man no more.

For some, Rami’s departure came as good news.  Spiderman 3 is one of the worst movies ever made (Exhibit A.) And that’s not opinion either… it’s written in stone high atop Mount Arafat (the astronauts told me so.)  But, on the other hand, I enjoyed Spiderman 1 and 2. Though, if you know of my love of Richard Donner’s original Superman movies you know why… Rami just about ripped off every plot point he could from those two movies.  Never the less, it needs to be said again… Spiderman 3 was one of the worst movies ever made (Exhibit B.)  So what went wrong?  Rami claims the studio made him (surprise-surprise) put in way too many villains.  And the fact that he’s walked away from the franchise because they were doing it again kind of makes me believe him (that doesn’t mean I forgive him.)

Marc Webb: I can't believe I actually found a pic of this guy!

What about Marc Webb you ask?   Do I approve or disapprove of this hire?!  To be honest, this is a real head scratcher.  500 Days of Summer was a cute, semi-original love story.  It wasn’t particularly entertaining.   It wasn’t particularly creative.  It was just about everything I expect from a first time director such as Marc Webb.  But to give this guy the helm of Sony’s biggest movie property in hopes of creating another successful movie trilogy (still in the shadow of the colossal originals) seems INSANE.

But maybe Sony knows what they’re doing.  I thought hiring Rami was INSANE.  Darkman really left, and still leaves, a bad taste in my mouth.  But the man pulled it off… and is now one of the industry’s biggest names.  As for Webb, I’m guessing he gave the studio one-hell-of-a passionate, inspired pitch… and that’s what they’re buying into.  That and he’s young, cheap, and will do whatever the hell they want (expect lots of villains.)  I guess, just as with Rami’s hiring, it’s probably best to take a wait-and-see approach to this.  But, then again, look how that turned out with Ang Lee’s Hulk… I still want my money back.

Tobey Maguire: too old for school!

Oh – one last thing.  Sorry Tobey Maguire fans.  He’s done.  Expect a new, and much younger, leading man to be cast… and, with a 2012 release date fast approaching, expect it soon!

New video from La The Darkman. Posted by @thewilliethekid.

“Darkman” is Sam Raimi’s first foray in to the comic book adaptations and what a disaster it was.  On paper this must have sounded great!  Liam Neeson as a hideously disfigured superhero waging war against his enemies.

The problem I had is that the production seemed so cheap.  This might have been better to debut on TV rather than as a major motion picture.  The action, the sets, even the costumes just look awful.  I don’t know if it was a lack of budget or what but much better movies have been made since this one with much less. 

It took a few years for Sam Raimi really develop a style that wasn’t just suited towards crazy horror films.  See “The Quick And The Dead” as another example.  He is a great director but this is not one of his great films. 

Liam Neeson is not a scientist, that’s how you know that this film is messed up.

In director Sam Raimi’s moody, intense thriller, brilliant scientist Peyton Westlake (Liam Neeson) is almost killed by gangsters in a massive explosion. Unstable and disfigured, Peyton becomes Darkman, an impossibly strong, tormented antihero. Able to spend only moments in the sunlight, Darkman begins a quest to rekindle his love with his girlfriend (Frances McDormand), who he’s held at a distance, and to take vengeance on his enemies.

The funny thing about Darkman is that it looks like a comic book movie (Batman, Dick Tracy), though it features an original screenplay. It has all the elements of one of those origin episodes that the comic book fans love to collect, and how they discover how that superhero turned out to be that way and why.

One thing that you soon may notice about Darkman that it acts and looks like a horror film, when really its a natural tale based on revenge. A lot of elements are thrown together to make this wild fest filled with blend of comic book action, sets, and characters, pitch black humor, and sci-fi/horror violence. I wasn’t expecting anything different from a Raimi film, but what this is still a nice and well-worked blend.

There are a lot of original things that go on in this film. Sometimes the action is really cool to look at, and there are a lot of other scenes where Darkman uses some of his smart tricks to fool others thinking he is still dead.

The one problem I had with this film was that Darkman the character was not very compelling. He obviously has a reason for killing all these people, but compared to other super heroes such as Batman and Superman, he doesn’t have much of a personality and we can’t really connect to him as an audience.

Occasionally the film does get a bit silly with its very cheap one-liners, and cliche script. But the villains didn’t seem so bad either. They just seemed like people that were part of the mob nothing really different, and I think anybody, super powers or no super powers could have easily killed them.

Liam Neeson does try his hardest with the character but isn’t given much to play with. He does have little scenes where he goes into rage and it seems believable just not memorable, and falls by the waist side of this character.

Consensus: Darkman is well-directed, and at times a very fun picture, but isn’t too memorable, that features an uninteresting superhero, and gang of villains.

6/10=Rental!!!

Of all the super heroes that I’ve encountered in my time (well, not literally, but you know what I mean), one that stands out to me for a number of reasons is Darkman. He’s not a household name like Spider-Man or Batman, probably because he made his first appearance in 1990, in the film that bears his name. Unlike a lot of super heroes, he fights purely out of vengeance. Even vengeance driven super heroes like the aforementioned Spider-Man have redirected their rage towards crime as a whole. Darkman specifically targeted those who made him what he is, who stole his life and turned him from a normal scientist working on synthetic skin into a deformed recluse. And also unlike the most well known super heroes, he isn’t afraid to kill. His goal isn’t to get criminals behind bars, it’s to exact revenge. And finally, he was played by Liam Neeson, which is just sweet. Is Darkman the greatest super hero ever made? Probably not. Is he awesome? Definitely yes.

Una final realmente inesperada

Para más de uno, esta final fue una sorpresa. Sin embargo, es perfectamente legal. De acuerdo a la mecánica, tú puedes invitar a tus amigos y conocidos a votar por tu personaje, y fue precisamente lo que hicieron los dos ganadores. Por otro lado, es muy interesante ver que los dos finalistas son un clásico del cine clase B, y uno de los seriales de los treintas, que cualquiera de las dos son excelente material para un clásico de fin de semana. Así que veamos cual será el resultado final de este extrañísimo torneo.

• Mientras el Sol se oculta en el horizonte, el ganador se aleja cabalgando, perdiéndose en la distancia. A lo lejos, sólo se alcanza a oir el grito por el que se le reconoce… Hi-yo Silver… Away!

Ganador: El Llanero Solitario.

Darkman is a 1990 superhero action film directed by Sam Raimi. It is based on a short story he wrote that paid homage to Universal horror films of the 1930s. The film stars Liam Neeson as Peyton Westlake, a scientist who is attacked and left for dead by a ruthless mobster, Durant (played by Larry Drake) after his girlfriend, an attorney (played by Frances McDormand) runs afoul of a corrupt developer (played by Colin Friels). Westlake survives, but is left with burns over most of his body. While hospitalized as a comatose John Doe, he is unwittingly subjected to a radical treatment that destroys the nerve endings connected to his skin, neutralizing his ability to sense physical pain but increasing his brain’s emotional output to compensate. Now half-crazed, Westlake escapes the hospital and decides to get revenge on the criminals who took his life away, but now as a masked vigilante, known as Darkman.

Tagline: Now, Crime Has a New Enemy, And Justice Has a New Face!

Unable to secure the rights to either The Shadow or Batman, Raimi decided to create his own superhero and struck a deal with Universal Studios to make his first Hollywood studio movie. He was subjected to a grueling screenwriting process and equally difficult post-production battle with the studio.

Darkman was generally well-received by critics and performed well at the box office, grossing almost $49 million worldwide, well above its $16 million budget. This financial success spawned two direct-to-video sequels, Darkman II: The Return of Durant and Darkman III: Die, Darkman, Die, as well as numerous comic books, video games and action figures. Over the years, Darkman has become regarded as a cult film.

Soundtrack:

Danny Elfman said of his score, “Again old-fashioned and melodramatic, but in a way that I’m crazy about. Sam Raimi has a wonderful visual style that lends itself easily to music. It was an enormous relief writing long, extended musical sequences, something which is very rare in modern films. No reason to hold back on this one.”

Make Up Department
  Susan Exton-Stranks … head of hair department
  Tony Gardner … special makeup effects designer
  Larry Hamlin … makeup artist
  Deborah K. Larsen … key makeup artist
  Mark William Robinson … makeup production assistant
  Marlene Stoller … effects technician: makeup effects unit
  Roland Blancaflor … special makeup effects technician – Read Roland’s Interview with GoreMaster HERE

Special Effects Department
  Gabriel Bartalos … sculptor: makeup effects unit
  Doug Beswick … mechanical designer: makeup effects unit
  Roger Borelli … effects technician: makeup effects unit
  Evan Brainard … mechanical designer: makeup effects unit
  Teresa Burkept … bandage costumes: makeup effects unit
  Michael Burnett … effects technician: makeup effects unit
  Caleb Chung … mechanical designer: makeup effects unit
  Steve Dunham … mechanical designer: makeup effects unit
  Mike Elizalde … sculptor: makeup effects unit
  Jim Eustermann … effects technician: makeup effects unit
  Steve Frakes … mechanical designer: makeup effects unit
  Linda Frobos … sculptor: makeup effects unit
  Tony Gardner … special makeup effects artist
  Loren Gitthens … sculptor: makeup effects unit
  Ray Greer … miniatures
  Werner Hahnlein … special effects technician
  Larry Hamlin … special makeup effects artist
  Kevin Hudson … special effects makeup
  Kevin Hudson … key mold maker: makeup effects unit
  Rick Lalonde … gelatin specialist: makeup effects unit
  Kent W. Luttrell … model maker
  Roger McCoin … mechanical designer: makeup effects unit
  Becky Ochoa … effects technician: makeup effects unit
  Colin Penman … effects technician: makeup effects unit
  Greg Polutonovich … production painter: makeup effects unit
  Wendy Ripley … bandage costumes: makeup effects unit
  Randy Simper … animatronics specialist
  Randy Simper … mechanical designer: makeup effects unit
  Chet Zar … key sculptor and painter: makeup effects unit
  Yancy Calzada … mechanical effects (uncredited)

Visual Effects Department

Movie Poster 22 x 34

Vengeance strikes hardest in the dark.

Pelos vistos Durant não faleceu no acidente de choppa da 1ª entrega, eis então o seu regresso em Darkman II: The Return of Durant. Agora temos Arnold Vosloo como Darkman, que tem como objectivo conseguir ultrapassar a barreira do 99 minutos com as suas máscaras. Um outro cientista já o conseguiu e Darkman junta-se a ele para conseguirem fazer com que as mesmas durem muito mais tempo. Entretanto Durant (Larry Drake), acorda do coma em que estava e tenta novamente conquistar o crime organizado, com a ajuda de uma arma de energia criada por um cientista louco. Pois não é que o local que Durant pretende para construir a arma é o mesmo armazém onde o amigo de Darkman tem a oficina!? Durant faz o mesmo ao amigo que fez a Darkman, mas se estão a pensar que fica outro Darkman, estão enganados. É assim que começa mais um vingança sem rosto.De Bradford May, com Arnold Vosloo, Larry Drake, Kim Delaney, Renée O´Connor, Lawrence Dane, Jesse Collins e David Ferry.

Tava a apetecer-me frango na brasa, mas acho que exagerei no C4 e no gasoil

Vale a pena deixar de ver a bola e a caneca da cerveja a aquecer para ver isto

The World of Jimmy Callicut & Little Demons
(Original Demos)

The World of Jimmy Callicut & Little Demons (Original Demos by Danny Elfman)

Edward Scissorhands (Complete Score)

Edward Scissorhands (Complete Score by Danny Elfman)

OR

Edward Scissorhands (Complete Score by Danny Elfman)

Also:

Edward Scisorhands complete promo

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DVD rip

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Edward Scissorhands 27-track complete score

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Edward Scissorhands complete score (20 tracks, 320K)

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Nightbreed

Main Titles (02:40)
2. Dream (01:03)
3. Carnival Underground (03:23)
4. Into Midian (02:31)
5. Meat for the Beast (02:10)
6. Resurrection Suite (03:37)
7. Boone Transforms (00:56)
8. The Initiation (02:50)
9. Scalping Time (01:54)
10. Rachel’s Oratory (01:04)
11. Party in the Past (00:51)
12. Poor Babette (01:41)
13. Uh-Oh…Decker! (01:39)
14. “Then Don’t Say It!” (01:28)
15. Boone gets a Taste (02:44)
16. Breed Love (01:02)
17. Mayhem in Midian (01:43)
18. Baphomet’s Chamber (02:01)
19. Farewell (00:59)
20. 2nd Chance (01:34)
21. End Credits (04:33)

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DARKMAN

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Black Beauty

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Big Top Pee Wee

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or

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Pee Wee’s Big Adventure/Back To School Original Soundtrack

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PLANET OF THE APES COMPLETE RECORDING SESSIONS (2CD)
50 tracks

Total running time: (1:35'49")

Disc one

01. Twentieth Century Fox fanfare
02. Main titles
03. Space station
04. Power outage
05. Thumbs up
06. Trouble
07. Pod escape
08. New world / The hunt
09. Ape city
10. Thade's desire
11. Thade kills
12. Source music "Ape city"
13. Source music "Ape city"
14. Source music "Ape city"
15. Source music "Ape city"
16. A look
17. Unloading
18. Thade's inspection
19. Ari watches
20. The branding
21. Ari buys a pet
22. Source music "Dinner"
23. Leo wants out
24. Dental exam
25. The escape
26. Ari connects
27. The story
28. Source music: "Rave"
29. Trust escape
30. Into the forest
31. Into the pond
32. The messenger
33. Thade gets his way

Disc two

01. Scarecrow stinger
02. The camp
03. Camp raid
04. Thade goes ape
05. Calima
06. Calima
07. The army approaches
08. Thade's tent
09. Discovery
10. Preparing for battle
11. The charge
12. The final confrontation
13. Landing / Showdown
14. The aftermath
15. End credits suite: Thade's suite
16. End credits suite: Rule the planet
17. End credits suite: I love theme

RULE THE PLANET

Planet of the Apes – recording sessions (2:12′58″)
complete including source cues etc. (1:35′49″) [liner1] [liner2] [liner3]

MILK ACADEMY PROMO SCORE32 tracks

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Spider-Man – 2002 – Costume Montage/Web Practice – Unused In Film

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To Die For

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Men in Black
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Men in Black II COMPLETE

44 tracks

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Men in Black II

Part 1
Part 2

BEETLEJUICE COMPLETE

39 tracks
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Hellboy the Golden Army

4 Mirrors

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Mars Attacks!

(Expanded Limited Ed.) Lalaland  1997 (2009)

Download pass: bi0f0raLL

Mars Attacks Complete Score 35 tracks

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Dick Tracy

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or

Download PASS = mobius1

The HULK

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LEGO Batman Gamescore

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Batman complete : LINK
~
Batman + 21 tracks : Disc 1 Disc 2

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Big Fish : Download

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Music for a Darkened Theater Volume 1

Part 1

Part 2

OR PART 1

PART 2
~
Music for a Darkened Theater Volume 2
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
~
Music for a Darkened Theater Volume 3:
Link one

Link Two

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Sommersbay Original Score: Download Link

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Charlotte’s Web: Download Link

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Terminator Salvation

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Una genial cinta del magnifico Sam Raimi, una película imaginativa y virtuosa que demuestra lo fantástico que es el señor Raimi cuando quiere.

SINOPSIS: Un científico que estudia la creación de piel humana sintética es víctima de un atentado. Aunque todo el mundo le da por muerto, consigue sobrevivir y rehace su rostro horriblemente dañado aplicando su propio invento. Esta nueva técnica, que sólo dura cien minutos, le permitirá adquirir las facciones de quien desee y vengarse así de los que destrozaron su vida.

Darkman es una película brutal y casi perfecta con una filmación atronadora. Una hora y media que convierte a un irreconocible Liam Neeson en un “antihéroe” o en momentos “superhéroe” genuinamente “splatter” y violento. La película es un cóctel de “comic-book”, terror clásico, “pulp”, superthriller de acción y homenajes cinefagos a cientos de películas.

Como datos curiosos: Gracias a las cualidades de Darkman, hay un momento del “film” en el cual Liam Neeson cambia su cara por la del “grandioso” Bruce Campbell” para pasar desapercibido entre la multitud. Otro dato es que, Sam Raimi hizo esta cinta como “venganza”, me explico, Raimi quería realizar la versión cinematográfica del comic “pulp”, “La sombra”, pero no consiguió los derechos, así que realizó esta cinta con un héroe casi similar, aunque en el año 1994 Russell Mulcahy, director de la gran película “Los inmortales” y una de sus secuelas, si que consiguió los derechos de “La sombra”, lastima para todos nosotros porque Mulcahy destrozo el mito…

Hiperbólica, violenta y rápida, hará las delicias de los seguidores de todo tipo de comics, del “splatter” y del cine de superhéroes en general. Lo único que no me gusta de la película, es la música del pesado de Danny Elfman (lo mismo me llueven varias hostias por decir esto), usa siempre la misma música para todo tipo de películas, creo que tiene un CD, y las va repitiendo una tras otra, sino me creéis podéis fijaros vosotros mismos como la música de “Beetle Juice” es idéntica a la de “Batman” o esta, a la de “Men in Black”… En fin pero vamos, que es algo salvable.

Cartel

A veces, los domingos, me parezco a eso.

Y a eso, a eso tambien...

No, a eso no...El escorzo es de la fantastica Frances Mcdomard

Disfrutad…

An original superhero for the big screen!

Screenplay By: Chuck Pfarrer, Daniel & Joshua Goldin & Ivan & Sam Raimi
Directed By: Sam Raimi

Long before helming the Spider-Man franchise Sam Raimi brought his own superhero to the big screen with Darkman. This isn’t a comic book adaptation, the character of Darkman is an original character created for the movies. He is an interesting character, and at a time when outside of the Batman and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movies the superhero world wasn’t offering much at the cinema, Darkman was a breath of fresh air.

Darkman is big, it plays big and comes across as big. This is a film that isn’t afraid to admit that any world where superheros exist and people have superpowers would be big. Small moments would be few and far between, instead everything can be and should be big. Darkman showed how the big world of superheros could be brought to the big screen successfully. It is big yet still full of drama and believability, not an easy task to accomplish, unless someone understands their comic books.

The entirety of Darkman has an artificial feel to it, a sort of surreal quality. I rather enjoyed that facet of Darkman, the carnival sequence in particular and the images used to showcase when Darkman was ready to lose it and use his powers. The artificial nature of Darkman lends itself to the bigness the film wants to put across and it enhances the later comic book style flash cuts the action scenes will take on.

The main theme of Darkman is obviously identity, and while nothing new to cinema or to comic book inspired heroes, it tackles identity in a more adult manner than usual. Darkman isn’t your typical hero, he swears, he has anger issues and he’s not in control of who he wants to be any more. He doesn’t know who exactly he is now that he is deformed and has gained these powers. We are just as puzzled as he is over what his plight now is, and this adds weight to his dilemma and texture to the issue of identity in our minds.

I did have a few issues with some of the odd transitions that Raimi chose to go with, on more than one occasion they were a bit off putting and tough to get behind. The time line was also a bit all over the place, if you really stop and pay attention to when certain events are happening they make that much sense. Finally, the ending isn’t bad, but it does go on so long that it peters out near its conclusion.

Despite the above flaws Darkman is a wonderful little flick with an interesting take on the superhero genre. It’s more out there than most comic inspired movies you can see, features some good acting in most of the parts and is very adult in nature. Raimi would later outdo Darkman as far as his superhero efforts go, but that doesn’t change the fact that Darkman is a splendid picture that deserves a shot from any superhero fans.

Rating:

***1/2

Cheers,
Bill

¿Hay algo mejor en esta vida que una cruenta historia de venganza? Poco se puede comparar a asistir a estupefacto a aniquilación despiadada uno por uno de los malosos que putearon al jicho de la peli. Torturas, asesinatos a sangre fría, cartuchazos por un tubo y un rastro de cadáveres, compliendo el principio más antiguo y devastador  del universo: el ojo por ojo. Por eso, he escogido entre mis preferencias cinematográficas las películas más representativas de este tipo de subgénero, que a mí por lo menos, nunca me decepciona.

El Cuervo (The Crow, 1994)

Ejemplo de película que gustó en su momento, y que a mi precisamente me pareció genial, pero que con los años se ha convertido en el cliché de góticos industriales que se visten de espantajo hasta para ir a por el pan. Una peli muy bien llevada, con una estética muy conseguida y una banda sonora más que decente, que si bien no escatima en detalles escabrosos, tampoco es el paradigma de la violencia. Alex Proyas consiguió un film redondo antes de la genial Dark City, la película cumbre del desaparecido Brandon Lee y un recital del malo con más cara de hijo de puta del mundo, Michael Wincott. Ojo a la escena de la reunión de mafiosos. Imprescindible.

Darkman (Darkman, 1990)

Película que habréis visto una media de doscientas veces en las sobremesas/madrugadas de TVE y ejemplo de ochentada descafeinada, dirigida por el director más sobrevalorado de los 80. A esto se dedicaba Sam Raimi antes de realizar las más que aceptables adaptaciones de Spiderman. Una película extraña con un desarrollo muy irregular y el amigo Liam Neeson salvando la papeleta, con un argumento y personajes secundarios que no convencen en ningún momento (a mí por lo menos no lo hicieron). Mediocre pero entretenida, y prescindible pero visible, sobre todo si (como es mi caso) te gustan las películas de los ochenta.

Kill Bill Vol. 1&2 (2003, 2004)

Una película de Tarantino siempre será una película de Tarantino, con todo lo que eso conlleva, y sería inútil criticar las carencias de sus películas sabiendo que siempre nos ofrece cosas que ningún otro director podría. Kill Bill es una película de venganza de las buenas, de esas que tanto me gustan. Una protagonista sin nada que perder, cinco malotes carismáticos a los que aniquilar y una katana justiciera. ¿Se puede pedir más? Pues sí, menos homenaje a la serie B y más coreografías un poco más curradas, no hubiera estado de más. Por lo demás, un auténtico crimen perdérsela.

V de Vendetta (V For Vendetta, 2005)

Debe ser de las pocas adaptaciones de cómics que me han convencido como película, y lo más seguro es que sea porque no he leído el comic de V for Vendetta (todavía). Como película funciona, y pese a que algunas escenas con Natalie Portman son un poco aburridas, el mensaje reaccionario de la película se impone con dos cojones, y da lugar a un personaje tan carismático, que no hace falta ni que enseñe la cara. Puede ser o no fiel al comic, que no lo sé, pero como película me gustó mucho. Un aplauso para los Wachowski, que la última vez que hicieron algo bueno era un sketch humorístico en un videojuego.

Venganza (Taken, 2008)

Otra vez el señor Neeson al rescate, en un filme de venganza en el que el protagonista no podría ser otra cosa, un ex-agente especial, entrando en los suburbios parisinos como un elefante en una cacharrería, y deleitándonos con un espectáculo tan efectista como satisfactorio. De hecho, tan satisfactorio, que cuando termine la película y te quieras parar a pensar los agujeros del guión y el sospechoso e inexistente síndrome de abstinencia de la hija del prota, sólo podrás recordar esa escena en la que Neeson atraviesa las rodillas de un pobre desgraciado  con sendas puntas del 10. Formidable.

El Castigador (The Punisher, 1989, 2004, 2008)

Frank Castle se ha llevado más ostias en el cine que las que reparte en los comics, que ya es decir, y posiblemente pase a la historia como el superhéroe(?) más desaprovechado de la historia de la Mavel y de los cómics en general. Es decir, tenemos a un ex-militar consumido por la venganza, un arsenal militar bajo las alcantarillas y una ciudad llena de criminales… ¿Tan difícil es adaptar dignamente una historia tan simple?

Primero llegó Dolph Lungren con el pelo teñido, en un subproducto de serie B y SIN LA CAMISETA. Huelga definir la calidad de un film rodado en Australia, con la propina de un adolescente como presupuesto, en el que veremos al Castigador conduciendo un autobús lleno de niños. Sólo dos escenas se salvan de la quema, y una de ellas son los créditos iniciales. (Y no es broma).

Luego llegó un actor de serie Z, como es Thomas Jane y dijo: “¿El Castigador? ¡Yo doy el pego, dejármelo a mí!”, dando lugar a una de las adaptaciones más sosas y bochornosas que he visto en toda mi vida, en la que de verdad deseas que Frank Castle muera también durante la ejecución de su familia y te ahorre el resto de semejante despropósito. Cualquier cosa hubiese sido mejor que ver a una especie de ruso puesto de esteroides y vestido de comunión. Una adaptación lamentable, que consiguió que después de verla pensase en las dos horas de mi vida que acababa de tirar por el retrete.

Poco o nada esperaba de la siguiente incursión de Frank Castle en el mundo del cine, y mis expectativas en cuanto a Punisher: War Zone eran bastante bajas, sobre todo cuando fue relegada al mercado de video por su excesiva violencia, y denostada por la propia Marvel.  Pero como otras tantas veces, me equivoqué, no sin cierta alegría. Porque por fin The Punisher recibe la adaptación que merece. No nos engañemos: War Zone es serie B, pero la serie B que tanto el Castigador como yo estábamos buscando. Un protagonista que físicamente da el pego (es el romano mazao de la serie Roma, Ray Stevenson), un arsenal debajo de las alcantarillas, machetazos, puñaladas, venganza, ejecuciones, y ostiazos como panes, a ritmo de una de las más tochas y mejor implementadas bandas sonoras que he visto. Rob Zombie, Slipknot, Slayer, Rise Against, y Seether, entre otros, acompañan a una sinfonía de ostias que hará que recuerdes aquellas películas ultraviolentas de los 80, y disfrutes como un enano delante de semejante desbarre, que es nada más y nada menos que Thrash Metal hecho película.

Sin embargo, la mejor y más fiel adaptación del Señor Frank Castle no sería visible desde las butacas de un cine, si no de la mano de Volition a los mandos de una videoconsola, en la mejor adaptación de comic a videojuego que recuerdo, y en la que te sientes realmente como The Punisher. Si sois habituales del ocio electrónico y os gusta el Castigador, haceros con este juego sin perder un segundo.

Gladiator (Gladiator, 2001)

Y terminamos esta primera incursión en los títulos más destacados del cine de venganza, con una película de cinco estrellas, Gladiator. Poco puedo decir de un filme que creo que ha visto todo el planeta, y que narra la agonía de un hombre por vengar a su familia y restaurar la Roma en la que creía. Muchos se alzaron ante los presumibles errores históricos del filme, y ante según algunos, una historia poco elegante, pero la verdad es que Gladiator saca las bielas a ese tostón ideal pa ra echar la siesta en Semana Santa que es Espartaco. Con uno de los mejores finales que recuerdo haber visto, una película de cinco estrellas y de las gordas, imprescindible a todos los niveles. Si no la habéis visto todavía, no sé a que estáis esperando.

Y aquí termina esta primera parte de ese maravilloso sentimiento que es el deseo de venganza, con retorno programado y películas que ya deberíais haber visto. De momento empezad por estas.

Game and Player posted my article on the best film adaptations in gaming… What are you waiting for? Check it out HERE!

Neveldine and Taylor are the writing and directing team behind the Crank franchise. They are brilliant. They could hang it up right now and be assured of their legacy. But great minds cannot be caged, so they continue to create. They wrote Pathology in between Crank’s and while it lacks their fast and loose directing and cinematography, it fits snugly within their body of work.

For the poster, they made Alyssa Milano's lawyer a doctor. Also, Milo appears to be cradling the same woman who is standing on the left.

Pathology follows Ted (Milo Ventimiglia), top of his medical class at Harvard(probably in the same graduating class as Silas and Jamal!) and now a resident at a Washington D.C. hospital. He meets a crew of brash pathology residents who suffer from a combination of god complex and plain old crazy. How crazy? One of their less shocking antics is reenacting the Katz’s Deli scene from When Harry Met Sally with cadavers. You know, med school. The other crazy thing they get up to is killing people and then having the rest of their group guess how they did the killing. Which is kinda neat. I could see how you could get caught up in that. Well, no, I can’t. But Ted falls in with this completely insane group of people because OH THE POWER A DOCTOR WIELDS, IT CAN WARP YOUR MIND! Also, the redhead in their group is Ready To Go, if you pick up what I’m putting down(if she isn’t eye-fucking you, then she’s fucking you). The film stumbles on this one aspect, for while the redhead is indeed fetching, Ted is engaged to the very rich Gwen. It’s indicated at one point that he can’t be honest with Gwen and is only marrying her because her family is loaded. Fair enough, the guy joined a murder club, what’s one more prick move on his part, right? But Gwen is played by Alyssa Milano, who is very hot. If she were dirt poor, men would be lining up to make her rich. A super rich Alyssa Milano? Don’t tease me, movie. I will admit that the redhead(Lauren Lee Smith) has to hit quite few different levels of crazy, sad, and naked fucking while Milano mostly just looks concerned or sleepy, so they cast for skill. Also, Milano’s character has sex with her bra on. I know. The redhead indulges in some lipstick lesbianism and has some acupuncture sex, amongst other things I’ll get to.

Pathology is a sneakier effort from Neveldine and Taylor. It slowly moves for the first half hour or so and then BOOM, insane sex/autopsy montage. Open chest cavities to go with exposed chests and asses. Pathologists smoking crack(This was my favorite)! It’s hilariously over the top, especially when Ted and the redhead kill a man, and then immediately fuck on the floor. Nothing gets the ladies hot and bothered like killing Durant. Milo Ventimiglia gives a performance at the intersection of Keanu and Stallone. He tends to be stone faced whether he’s having a friendly beer or having sex on an morgue slab. To give him the benefit of the doubt, I haven’t done the latter, so perhaps the two situations are surprisingly similar. At one point he has to express fear, guilt and regret, which involved plenty of huffing, sighing, gritted teeth and literal hand wringing.   The villain of the piece, Jake Gallo (Michael Weston) has the right kind of creepy to him, and he pretty much owns every scene he’s in. His drunk act at a cocktail party is perfectly awkward, topped off by smashing a tray of champagne flutes off a waiter’s tray, catching one, attempting to drink out of it, finding it empty, and appearing even more pissed, now at himself. I clapped. Pathology did have one scene that felt completely true to life. The redhead surprises Ted in the lobby of his apartment building and attempts to blow him. In the lobby. Ted takes a moment, notices that he is in full view of cars and pedestrians passing the doorway of his building and says, “No go.” He’ll have sex with you in front of a dead body, but there are some things a man just won’t do. Justin knows what I’m talking about.

Have some crack!

The big finale is actually three parts, which I won’t spoil here. I will mention that the economy of characters is something that people should always remember and that nods to Mission Impossible 2, intentional or otherwise, are always welcome in this house.

While not a Crank level success, Pathology succeeds as a sleazy thriller. A little more humor never hurt anybody, but I was never bored(did I mention the hooker grandma? No? There is a hooker grandma), and by the time you get to the film’s final moments, Ted’s stoic demeanor becomes morbidly humorous. Pathology also fits well with the Neveldine/Taylor template of loathsome protagonist who must fight even more loathsome antagonists. College.

"Make a wish!"

Sam Raimi admiraba las películas de Roger Corman en su adolescencia, y cuando pudo realizar su primer largometraje, el género elegido no podía ser otro que el de terror. Y nos sorprendió en 1981, con una original “Posesión infernal”, en la que mezclaba el humor negro, con el gore más rotundo, en un impactante guión de terror sobrenatural (para mantener en el recuerdo, aunque se viva cien años, la desquiciante risa del ser que intenta salir de la bodega en la que lo ha encerrado el protagonista). Todo, con un presupuesto de tan sólo 350.000 dólares.

Raimi nos obsequió con dos secuelas de su primera obra. “Posesión infernal II”, de 1987, en la misma línea que la primera, y “Posesión infernal III: El ejército de las tinieblas” (1993), en la que el humor primaba sobre el terror (las tres estuvieron protagonizadas por Bruce Campbell, al que el papel le quedaba como un guante).

“Ola de crímenes, ola de risas” (1985) fue el segundo título que realizó entre medio de su ópera prima, y la primera secuela. La excelente “Darkman”, la rodó en 1990, tres años antes que la tercera entrega de “Posesión infernal”. “Rápida y mortal” (1995), “Un plan sencillo” (1998), Entre el amor y el juego (1999) y “Premonición” (2000), fueron sus siguientes títulos, y antesala de la saga de “Spiderman”, cuya cuarta entrega se anuncia para 2011, y que dirigirá y producirá.

Cinco años ha dedicado su trabajo de director al arácnido y taquillero superhéroe, pero este 2009 nos ofrece un estreno acorde con aquel Raimi de sus orígenes. “Arrástrame al infierno”, nada tiene que ver con el fabuloso presupuesto de “Spiderman 3” (350 millones de dólares, el mayor de toda la historia del cine), y está rodada en tan sólo dos meses, pero promete “terror en estado puro”, y viniendo de quien viene, sangre a borbotones.

La historia nos cuenta, como Christine, una joven que trabaja en el departamento de créditos de un banco, que tiene un novio encantador (el profesor Clay Dalton), y una vida perfecta, la ve alterada con la aparición de una misteriosa anciana, Mrs. Agnus, y su solicitud de aplazamiento de la hipoteca de su casa. Christine se ve en la encrucijada de seguir su instinto y concederle ese aplazamiento, o negárselo, lo cual impresionaría a su jefe directo, Mr. Jacks, y que podría valerle un ascenso. Se decide por lo segundo, lo que deja a Mrs. Agnus sin su casa.

En venganza, la anciana mujer lanza una maldición a Christine, que verá convertida su vida en un infierno. Un espíritu maligno la atormenta, y perdido el apoyo de su novio, deberá buscar ayuda en una vidente para salvar su alma de la condenación eterna. Ella le dice que lo que tiene que hacer para encontrar lo que revertirá la maldición…

Alison Lohman (“Big Fish” -2003, “Beowulf” -2007), es la sufrida protagonista a la que Raimi someterá a mil y una perrerías.

Y como habéis leído en la cabecera, se estrena en España en un par de semanas (en USA se estrenó ya en marzo…)

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Pinchad aquí para ver el trailer

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Swanson