Doodle 300 - Darkwing Duck

This is my last Disney cartoon doodle, this time Darkwing Duck.  It’s also my 300th doodle, so I’m almost to the year mark.  We embarked on a bedroom switcheroo for our boys so I’m a little behind on posting a few doodles.

Contributed by J. W.

In Darkwing Duck Season 1, Episode 7 (“Dirty Money”) Darkwing is hired by a banker named J. Gander Hooter to find out who’s been removing the ink from the nation’s printed money. Showing Darkwing a stack of unprinted bills, Hooter presents an observation that subtly explains the core philosophy and flaw of the central banking system (i.e. the Federal Reserve): “This paper was once worth $10,000,” he says. “Now, without the ink, it’s worthless. Without printed money, the economy will self-destruct.” The episode never really returns to this point – in fact, the entire question of the missing ink goes largely ignored – but the fact that a children’s cartoon would even mention the economy’s self-destruction and the fact that printed money is essentially worthless paper makes it hard to believe that there’s not a greater metaphor at work in this episode.

Prior to hiring Darkwing Duck, J. Gander Hooter had hired an investigative firm called SHUSH, which is represented by a character named Agent Grizzlikof. Appropriately, Agent Grizzlikof is a bear with a Russian accent (a double layer of meaning, given that the Bear is the symbol of Russia). Throughout the episode, Grizzlikof demonstrates a Soviet’s penchant for excessive bureaucracy and an insistence that everything be done “by the book.” Before allowing Darkwing to take part in the investigation, for example, he demands that Darkwing become a member of SHUSH. This involves a lengthy application process that includes a physical obstacle course (Darkwing is literally made to jump through hoops) and a mountain of paperwork. Seeing the huge stack of papers before him (the D-11 Stroke 6 Destination Disclosure Form), Darkwing remarks that “This is worse than the obstacle course.” On cue, he is informed that “Those are just the forms for permission to fill out these forms,” at which point 7 or 8 new, even taller stacks of papers are brought to him on a forklift.

According to J. Gander Hooter, however, Grizzlikof’s methods of over-regulation have failed (a jab at the failure of Communism, perhaps?), which is why he’s hired Darkwing Duck to take over. In contrast to Grizzlikof (whom Darkwing describes as a “predictable paper-pusher”), Darkwing is praised for his “unpredictable methods,” as well as his “unique brand of logic and deduction.” It is perhaps no coincidence that “unpredictable” and “logic” are both buzzwords frequently used to describe the unregulated capitalist system idealized in libertarian/free market circles. As Dr. Robert Murphy writes in his Politically Incorrect Guide to Capitalism, “Aside from the ‘fact’ that it hurts the poor, the other major objection to capitalism is that it is allegedly chaotic [unpredictable]. After all, in a market economy no one is ‘in charge’ of car production, and it’s nobody’s job to make sure that enough newborn-sized diapers get made.”

The actual villain of the episode is a cleaning lady named Ammonia Pine (interesting that the villain is a worker, the central mythical figure of Marxist philosophy), who secretly works for the shadowy syndicate known as F.O.W.L. Her goal, unlike most cartoon villains, is not to steal a large sum of money, but to wage economic warfare. “With SHUSH off my tail and all the money scrubbed,” she cackles, “the banks will go down the drain like scum in a bathtub.” This dastardly scheme is championed by the High Command at F.O.W.L., with whom Ammonia Pine communicates via a small telecommunication device. Once the banks fail, they say, “Our economic experts will move in to mop up.” Towards the end of the episode, High Command reiterates this point, describing the manner in which they can “begin taking control of the banks and financial institutions.”

Thus, in a single cartoon we have a Russian bear whose mountains of regulation prove ineffective (Darkwing is only saved from Ammonia Pine’s giant vacuum cleaner when he tears Grizzlikof’s SHUSH manual into pieces and uses its pages to block the vacuum’s vent system); a villain who realizes that power comes from destroying (and then controlling) banks and financial institutions with the help of “economic experts”; and a hero whose greatest virtues are his lack of rules (i.e. he is unregulated) and his unpredictability. Sounds to me like two critiques of Communism (its bureaucracies and its thirst for economic control and power) and a wink at free-market capitalism. This is perhaps no surprise, given that Darkwing Duck first aired in 1991 when the Soviet Union was well on its way to collapse.

I’m glad some people got a kick out of last week’s list of Top Seven Worst Cartoon Ladies, because now it’s time for the sequel.

A solid female character in animation is hard to find.  If you are able to extract their likes and dislikes from their gender (they like shopping BECAUSE THEY’RE GIRLS!  They hate getting messy BECAUSE THEY’RE GIRLS!) you’re still stuck with having to make them look ‘cute’ or ’sexy’, and have a role beyond Love Interest or Nagging Psychobitch.  These seven characters all have a degree of depth and thoughtfulness in their creation.  Their qualities came first, and their gender second.

Let’s get rolling, shall we?

7.  Dora The Explorer:  Love or hate Dora, you have to admit that she is a pretty stellar example for young girls.  She’s bright, she’s friendly, she’s willing to scrape her knees and get dirty, and she sticks to her guns in the face of adversity.  And by adversity I mean cunning foxes who steal her monkey’s sandwiches, or whatever.  I put Dora at seventh on this list because her redesign to appeal to an ‘older’ crowd makes me cry tears of rage.  She went from clever adventurer to mall-haunting pre-teen overnight.  Oh, Dora of yore!  How I miss thee!

Dora, before and after. Now she solves mysteries, like Which Boy Is The Cutest Boy?

6.  Gretchen and Spinelli from Recess:  Recess is a show that centers around schoolyard stereotypes.  In the main cast, we have the Fat Sensitive Kid, the Mischievous Kid, the Smart Kid, the Tough Kid, the Sporty Kid, and the Awkward Wimpy Kid Who Is Only Occasionally Useful.  The charm of a show like Recess is that the kids realize their labels, and regard them with a resigned sort of malice.  I’ve picked Gretchen and Spinelli out here because really, out of those main cast members I’ve mentioned, which are the girls?  Guesses?  Guesses?  Gretchen and Spinelli were created as schoolyard archetypes, not as schoolgirl archetypes, and that I can appreciate.

It's a veritable Who's Who of unfair labeling!

5.  Kim Possible:  Much like an aged version of a Powerpuff Girl, Kim Possible saves the world before curfew, trying to do her homework and get a date along the way.  Kim is in every way a girl’s girl.  She idolizes a clothing chain.  She gets embarrassed in front of boys.  She hates her little brothers and uses the Puppydog Pout to get something she wants.  The reason I’m including her on this list is that Kim likes what she likes…because she likes it.  Too often animators will create a character that is supposed to exemplify a Successful Modern Woman.  She’s smart!  She’s capable!  She owns her feminity, and yet, she is completely defined by societal expectations and all of the males around her.  Kim defines herself, and while she has the normal teenage tendency to worry about what other’s think of her, it doesn’t shape her life.

You guys, this plays on the Disney channel at 10:30 PST. Why haven't you watched this, you guys?

4.  Gadget from Rescue Rangers:  Some…times!  Some…crimes!  Go slipping through the cracks, but these…two!  Gum…shoes!  Are picking up the slack, there’s no case too big, no case too small!  If you need help just call…Gadget, apparently.  Rescue Rangers centers around some rodents who solve mysteries.  It’s pretty simple.  The titular characters receive most of the credit, serious Chip and goofy Dale, but every kid who watches that show knows that Gadget is the real hero.  It’s always Gadget who makes the machines that get them out of trouble, Gadget who sees through the scam, Gadget who crafts the master plan to solve the crime.  And you know what’s appealing about Gadget?  They don’t try to hide her brilliance behind a (heh heh) mousey facade.  She is just a genius.  No glasses.  No gimmick.  No social awkwardness.  All of the things that are typically associated with the smart girl are conspicuously absent, and they let her play the hero just as much as the boys do, even if the show is named after them.  It’s a nice change of pace.

Aaugh, Gadget. Why does Google have so many fanarts of you having sex with power tools??

3.  Gosalyn from Darkwing Duck:  Gosalyn, put simply, is a kid.  She’s not a smart kid, or a dumb kid, or an athletic kid, or a sensitive kid, or a tough kid, or a wimpy kid.  She’s just a kid who lives with her dad, who happens to be a Bruce Wayne-esque fly-by-night  crimefighter.  Sometimes she worries about him, sometimes she wants to join in on the fun, but at the end of the day, she’s just…well.  She’s a kid.  The simplicity of her character without relying on overused tropes is what gets Gosalyn on my list.  It’s not easy to craft a character that doesn’t rely on a stereotype that we are already familiar with, while still making her appealing and instantly familiar.  She could ride in my sidecar anyday.

Why is it always ducks? What does Disney have with ducks? People don't even like ducks that much.

2.  Azula from Avatar: The Last Airbender:  I could take almost anyone from Avatar and point to them as a model for outstanding character development, but Azula is here for a very specific reason: she is a crazy bitch.  She is a crazy bitch with fire powers and mommy issues, and she will eff you up the a, if you so much as look at her funny when she’s got her crazy hat on.  I’m a big fan of villains.  It’s tough to make a villain who doesn’t seem like a moustache-twirling Dick Dastardly or a hulking inferno of unspecified fury.  Villains need motivations too, you guys!  Something has to make them interesting, and worth our time.  With lady villains, it is almost always sexuality.  She’s evil!  What else is evil?  Uhh, sex?  Yeah.  Sex is evil.  So let’s make her very sexy and she can even make untoward advances at the disinterested protagonist!  Sounds like a plan.  Gladly, Azula doesn’t rely on these things to make her a stellar baddie.  From the start of the series, her intentions are clear.  She’s not evil, necessarily.  She just went round the bend several years ago, and never came back.  Good for her.

She will grind your bones up and wear the powder on her face like a fine foundation. AWESOME.

1.  My number one choice for awesome lady cartoon comes from a classic conundrum: how to make girls funny.  Sometimes they just aren’t, and that’s okay.  The same things that are hilarious coming from a man may not induce the same belly-laughs from a chick.  Some female comedians have resorted to giving up their girliness to get a more masculine sense of humor, but I don’t think that’s necessary.  A gal can be funny in a skirt.  A purple skirt.  With a yellow sweater, and bows on her ears:

I think I still have a sweater like that.

Babs Bunny was created as one of the two main characters of the Warner Brothers’ hit, Tiny Toons.  The animators noticed a significant underrepresentation of ladies in the original Looney Tunes, and so when its ’sequel’ began, they decide to split the character of Bugs Bunny into two halves.  The male half, Buster Bunny, contains all of Bugs’ sly charisma and mischievous smooth-talking mannerisms.  The female half, Babs, got all the screwball humor, and I couldn’t be happier about that.  Babs is a tornado of comedy, constantly lampooning the other characters in the show, doing spot-on impressions of pop-culture icons, or just inserting a quick, 1930’s era one-liner into the mix.  Unlike her counterpart, the loathable Lola Bunny, Babs can go toe to toe with her male companions and come out with the top joke.  She’s zany, over-the-top, and endlessly appealing.

All while wearing a skirt.  Who’d-a thunk it?

The Disney Afternoon: 1991 Lineup

Throughout my life, quality lineups of TV programming seem to take an interesting hold on my day-to-day activities.  Here’s the progression as I remember it in what I like to call my own Television Revolution: The programs that ran my life.

1991: The Disney Afternoon
3:00 – Duck Tales
3:30 - Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers
4:00 - Tale Spin
4:30 – Darkwing Duck
In 1992, Duck Tales was moved to weekday mornings and was replaced with Goof Troop (more quality Disney programming).  Although I missed Duck Tales, I liked Goof Troop so much that when my family went to Disney world in 1994 I remember crying when Goofy’s autograph smeared because I thought it was that valuable.
Reason I Didn’t Miss it:  At this phase of my life I really had nothing else going on from 3:00 until 5:00 (especially in the winter).  Plus, these shows were easy to have on in the background while I played with Legos.

1993-95: TGIF
8:00 – Family Matters
8:30 – Boy Meets World
9:00 – Step by Step
9:30 – Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper
Although TGIF started in 1988 and included three shows that I barely remember, it became a staple of my elementary school Friday nights.  The 1990-91 lineup of Full House, Family Matters, Dinosaurs (think “not the momma”), and Step by Step was stellar in its own right, but I believe that the real TGIF glory days came from 1993-95.  Boy Meets World is such quality programming that I made it my routine to catch it at 1:00 AM on the Disney Channel when I got home from the library during my junior year of college.  Some nights I felt like I was learning more from Mr. Feeny than I was from my Physics book.  Then the Disney Channel began playing Hannah Montana reruns in the 1:00 AM timeslot and, despite an angry e-mail to the Disney channel, hasn’t been on since.
Reason I Didn’t Miss it:  I didn’t want to be left out of the conversation during Monday morning recess.  Plus, watching TGIF was a great excuse to have someone sleep over on a Friday night (we literally couldn’t come up with anything better to do on Fridays back then).

90s: Before School
Bobby’s World and eventually Rugrats (once I was mature enough) comprised my before school TV lineup.  There was no real “lineup” of programming in the mornings – I guess because they wanted kids to actually go to school.  As a side note, I now own Bobby’s World on DVD and it makes for great A-Bar entertainment.

1995-96: Must See TV
8:00 – Friends
8:30 – The Single Guy
9:00 – Seinfeld
9:30 – Caroline in the City (I guess)
10:00 – ER (I guess)
Another longstanding TV lineup, “Must See TV,” actually had its start in 1993.  Seinfeld easily dominated this lineup (unless you’re a woman and then you’d say Friends) and the second timeslot perennially sucked.  Actually, for about five years, I’m pretty sure that NBC planned to put whatever crappy shows they had lying around before and after Friends and Seinfeld.  I would give an honorable mention to Frasier, which made the lineup a few seasons, and a dishonorable mention to ER, which ran approximately 15 years too long.
Reason I Didn’t Miss it:  I would still consider Seinfeld to be the best show ever created and, although girly, Friends did have its moments.  By this time in my life I had regular homework and Thursday night television was the best form of procrastination I knew of since I still largely thought the internet was comprised of those channels that came with AOL.

Today: Television à la carte
Gone are the days when a lineup is of such quality that I actually schedule my whole day around it.  Today, if I want to catch one of my favorite shows (like The Office), I just tell my computer to record it.  The chances of there being two shows in a row that I want to watch are very unlikely.  Re-runs are plentiful and streaming video sites like Hulu and YouTube make watching Seinfeld extremely easy.  Today, when I want to watch shows like Dexter, Entourage, or The New Yankee Workshop (I’m probably the only viewer under 50 years old), I download them on torrents and am watching them a minute later.  Interesting that in 1992 I watched The Disney Afternoon because I had too much free time and today, there are too many shows available and the days are never long enough.

Truth: The awesomeness of Darkwing Duck is not discussed often enough.

I’ve only been back at work since yesterday and I’m already for the weekend. Probably because I only work 4 days this week instead of 6 like the past two weeks, but next week it’s back to 6 days which is so not cool. Anyway yesterday was kinda an interesting day. Just seemed to drag on and that nothing really happened. Work was kinda slow. We got in products, but also had to do inventory which I hate. Hoping today will pick up, but sometimes it doesn’t because of the farmer’s market. Just have to see. Finally got laundry done, and I officially hate the dryer in the apartment building. 30 minutes is not long enough to dry jeans. Oh well that’s life for you. Next time I’m looking at an apartment I’ll remember that. Not exactly a fan of the landlord I have now either. He fines you for every little thing. Well you get what you pay for. So I guess it’s squiby time. So unless you we lived under a rock for the longest time, you remember the show Darkwing Duck. It was one of those shows that everyone knew about or at least knew of. Mainly because it aired shortly after Duck Tales and used a character from it. Anyway so enjoy. Today’s tip is Sleep helps with memory, focus, and cognition. Make your own jokes about who could use more sleep. My b-day is now 22 days away. Something else I realized. It’s 9/9/09. I figured more people would be freaking out about it since a 9 is just a 6 upside down. Oh well. Laters people.

Vance Nelson and his Australian buddy John Mackay are taking their creationist cause out in public for two Alberta shows, one in Calgary and another in Red Deer. Hopefully they will get a huge turnout of people who know more about science than they do.

“The Evidence from DOWN UNDER
with Australia’s John Mackay”

Click the combatants to go to Bay of Fundy's post.

Hmm, it seems the evidence from down under supports evolution.

Oh well, it’s not as if evidence ever stopped creationists before.
On with the Show!

Link goes to full size

Here are the times and places

Calgary. Bethel United Reformed Church 730 101 St. SW

Red Deer  Crossroads Church 38105 Range Road (32 St. Hiway 2)

At both venues the Home School Family Conference starts at 9:00 AM, Public lecture at 7:00 P. M.

Contact Creation Truth Ministries for more info.

~~~~~~

Devoted readers of the Thinking Shop and accident prone surfers will remember Nelson from my post in July, “Know Yer Nuts Part 1“. He’s the guy who runs Creation Truth Ministries and Alberta Dinosaur Museum where he calls himself “Dr. Fossil” (see the previous post on “Dr. Dino’s” (Kent Hovind), mail order college course).

On why T. Rex went extinct from www.dentalhealth.org.uk.

Nelson says he has a 1997 degree in theology from Taylor University College in Edmonton AB although in 1997 that institution was called North American Baptist College (TUC is now defunct but see Taylor College and Seminary). He also claims a biology degree (2002) from Florida, although his website doesn’t provide any information about which college. CreationWiki says that he “has a science degree in 2002 (Bachelor of Science in biology). Vance has also studied concepts relating to creation and evolution at the college level (10 credit-hours directly relating to origin science).” “Dr. Fossil” I presume not.

A fossil, apparently not in need of Vance Nelson’s doctoring.
My pic, from the Royal Tyrrell Museum, Drumheller.

Nelson and Mackay have caught the attention of the British Centre for Science Education. They have this to say about Nelson.

Creation Truth Ministries is a Canadian evangelical organisation run by a husband and wife team – Vance and Korelei Nelson. They have both been involved in proselytising creationism in the UK, including in state education. The Nelsons were part of the team that John Mackay planned to put into Millfield School in Lancashire in the Spring of 2006.

Indeed, the Nelsons went on to teach creationism at a private summer camp which was associated with Mackay’s tour. At the time, CTM’s web site bragged that it was making presentations in state schools, but, in the fine tradition of fundamentalism, failed to inform anyone what schools were involved. Obviously the British public and parents of children at the schools were of no importance to the Nelsons.

CTM appears to be closely allied to John Mackay’s Creation Research International as part of a network of affiliated individuals and organisations. For example, in August 2006 Mackay and Vance Nelson appeared together on religious television in Canada. They worked together in 2005.

John Mackay seems to be an odd duck (for more on ducks, see below). He apparently has a degree in geology from University of Queensland. According to his biography posted on his Creation Research outfit’s website he is a former science teacher who also “lectured in Geology at Tertiary level for Technical Education”. He has for decades been a major figure in the creationist cause in Australia. Here is the youtube video intro to his Web Museum on Evidence Web.

Ancient Great White Sharks were up to 20 meters long, modern ones are only 6 meters long  and ”that’s the opposite of evolution.”

In the early days, Makay was involved with Ken Ham Creation Science Foundation. The CFS eventually became Creation Ministries International (Ham eventually went on to start the famously silly Creation Museum in Kentucky).  Mackay broke with CSF and started   Creation Research in 1987. The splits appear to have been a bit acrimonious. Mackay made horrible accusations against Ken Ham’s secretary at CSF, Margaret Buchanan. Here is how BSCE puts it:

In February 1986 Mackay accused the then personal secretary of Ken Ham, Margaret Buchanan, of necrophilia and involvement in witchcraft. In particular Mackay claimed that Margaret Buchanan had sex with her dead husband’s body.

Mackay attempted, without any agreement or discussion with the rest of the management of Creation Science Foundation, to sack her. No evidence was ever produced about the allegations. Indeed, so serious and unsubstantiated was the matter that Mackay was subsequently excommunicated from his Church (Redlands Baptist Fellowship).

Creation Ministries International posted a discussion of the accusations on its website in 2006.

When his attempt to sack her and take over the ministry failed, due to the Board’s refusal to violate biblical principle, Mr Mackay resigned. This was followed by a campaign of widespread innuendo and slander, involving actual fabrications which if accepted would tend to bolster his claim of ‘demonic infiltration’ of our ministry and thus would tend to undermine public confidence in our ministry. This included the bizarre and incredibly offensive claim that Margaret had claimed to have had intercourse with the corpse of her late husband (!).

Sadly, these horrific sins have never been repented of, nor forgiveness sought, nor restitution offered—despite a Baptist church excommunicating Mr Mackay and urging people to respect this decision in the Lord.

The CMI site has a few other documents about this matter.

Anyway, Nelson and Mackay will be live in Calgary and Red Deer in September.

Nelson did contact me a while back in response to my blog and challenged me to a debate with Mackay. Here is the exchange:

Hi Jim,

I left you a message at the U of L… hopefully it was the correct number…

Your opponant for the debate would be John Mackay…The date would be Sept. 16th, 2009…The topic would have to be agreed upon…

Please let me know as soon as possible…one way or the other…

Maybe you could get a lecture hall at the U of L? (ellipses in original)

Here is my reply:

Mr. Nelson,

As you would have guessed, I will have to turn you down.  I won’t be able to agree to any additional speaking engagements, especially at the start of a new academic term when the date is prearranged with no explanation. That would have been a deal breaker right there, by the way.

I did pass your request along to a campus email group that includes many scientists and philosophers to see if anyone was willing to fill in. No takers.

Prof. Frink was too busy testing his new digital  thermo-evaporative-wind-directionation detection device to debate.

Really, though, this should not be surprising. Why should any of us want to give Mr. Mackay the appearance of legitimacy by speaking at our university? If your views had ANY demonstrable credibility at all they would already be taught there in the appropriate classes and you wouldn’t have to grandstand for publicity. You and Mr. Mackay have already lost the debate with science.

Your side seems to be on the defensive in the hermeneutical and theological debates, too. I am sure you are aware that your views on creation and the young earth hardly represent the view of most educated Christians, who see no fundamental theological problem with a very old earth or evolution. That is, unless you restrict the appellation “Christian” to those who agree with you.  Your views on Genesis play virtually no role in the discourses of the majority of Christians who take part in academic study of the Bible. Matters of biblical interpretation are at LEAST as central to your ministry as any scientific issue, and so you should perhaps try to find some theologians to debate with.

Nicked it from Bay of Fundie. Great blog, check it out.

At some point, my buddy Dan (a real scientist, with a real PhD, a real job doing real science, and real publications- lots of ‘em- and real research grants) was sent a copy of the poster above via email. It seems to have been sent by C.T.M. to the Big Valley Creation Science Museum (subject of Know Yer Nuts #2), at which point it was forwarded to Dan’s email address for reasons unknown. I didn’t get a copy but honestly, I’m not that miffed.

Dan then responded to BVCSM and CTM’s email addresses that he wasn’t interested and-to put it mildly-thought the whole enterprise was quite unacceptable. From what I gather, there was a few exchanges with Mr. Nelson and apparently a continuing one with the guy from Big Valley who never identifies himself. Edited to add: He now identifies himself as Harry Nibourg who is the owner of the Big Valley Museum. The Big Valley guy I suspect is the same fellow who calls himself Evolution the Lie Agreed Upon in comments here at the Thinking Shop. I even made a post of one of his tirades.

Go see where it came from. It isn't a dare, but you might be interested.

Ok, its from “Life According to Lyssie”

Just so there are no hard feelings, I thought I would advertise Nelson and Mackay’s two performances here. I’ve also let the Center for Inquiry in Calgary know about them in case anyone there might want to be corrected.

Anyway, I’ve got stuff on the fifteenth (honestly, it’s the Faculty Association picnic), so won’t be able to get to Calgary to see the show. No doubt the actors will be asked to take a bow after.

Hopefully a few freethinking folk will attend and I will be eager to hear their report! If anyone goes and wants to write a guest post on it, just drop me line and we can chat about it.

I did find another interesting article from 2006 in the Financial Times that might give the audience some idea of what to expect. Rob Blackhurst in “Who are you calling old?” describes a Mackay / Nelson event in Birkenhead U.K.

Mackay believes the planet is a mere 6,000 to 8,000 years old, rather than the commonly accepted figure of 4.55 billion years. In this herbivorous “Good World”, there was no death until Adam bit the apple. The first fossils were created 1,650 years after creation, when God inundated the earth with 40 days and 40 nights of rain in retribution for the sin of man.

Concerning another function, a “Home Education for Christian families” deal, he writes:

In the auditorium Dr Diane Eager, a former medical biology lecturer at the University of Canberra, begins the programme of education. … “We blew it,” she says in her soothing Australian accent. “Things have gone downhill – from good to bad to worse.” With the help of a photograph of a rainforest, she describes the paradise we have lost. “There was no disease, violence or death – every animal was vegetarian. There were no weeds or dangerous plants. Water was provided by a gentle mist. There was a constant warm and comfortable climate. There was no need for camouflage because there was no fear. What a good world that would have been.”

I feel myself lulled to sleep. An image of a T-rex flashes on the screen. “If there were no predators, what did T-rex eat in the Good World?” she asks “Why did it have edged, serrated teeth and powerful claws?” No one seems to know. “Because then tyrannosaurus rex could polish off a watermelon, a coconut or any other fruit even if they have tough skins.” There is a collective “Aaaahhh.”

“Ahhhh melons…”Photo nicked from Cells in Culture blog

The article continues by reporting on Vance and Korelei Nelson’s class the next morning in front of a bunch of kids.

Vance, a biology graduate, styles himself as “Dr Fossil”, while Korelei manipulates a felt dinosaur puppet called Rex. At the start of the session everyone shouts the mantra “Creation, Corruption, Catastrophe, Christ” over and over again until they accelerate towards a racehorse canter.  …

“How did Noah transport the whales? How did he have space for all living things?” asks Dr Fossil. Rows of desperate arms stretch for the sky. “That’s right. Well done. He took the babies. There’s no reason he had to take the big ones.”

“Did all the animals fit into an ark like this?” asks Dr Fossil while showing a slide of a cartoon ark with a giraffe and elephant poking out of the roof. “No, they didn’t. Remember the smallest version of the ark would have been the size of a world war two aircraft carrier. It was equivalent to 522 railway box cars – each able to carry 240 sheep. You see there’s always another side when people criticise the Bible.” He warms to his theme. “Were those people who say the ark wasn’t real there?” “No,” say the children in unison.

“How do we know the T-rex ate meat? Has anyone seen the T-rex eat meat?”

“NOOOO,” say the children, even more loudly. “That’s right,” says Dr Fossil, “the only person who saw a T-rex was God. Science has to do with observing things. Has any scientist observed this?” “NOOOOOOOOOO,” the children yell. “This isn’t scientific observation,” concludes Dr Fossil, “this is belief”.

Just to clear up that comparison, here is a picture of a WWII aircraft carrier.

Akagi

Japanese Carrier Akagi in 1942.
Pic. from Wikipedia. length 855 ft  beam 102 feet.

Full scale model in Hong Kong

Noah’s Ark.  Length 450-537.5 feet  beam 75 – 90 feet
(at 18 and 21.5 inches per cubits respectively). Hey, why aren’t there dinosaurs leaving?

Oh, and Blackhurst’s article also reports on Mackay’s ideas about the speed of light. It is apparently getting slower, that’s why it seems like the universe is billions of years old.

And if you go, please ask Nelson to clarify that bit about T. Rex’s diet. And ask Mackay if he still thinks that woman was practicing witchcraft. I wonder if those two Alberta churches he is speaking at know about that matter?

And here, you can watch Darkwing Duck defeat the evil Dr. Fossil.

Technorati Tags: creationism, fossil, Vance+Nelson, paleontology, John+Mackay, Darwin, evolution, Creation+Truth+Ministries, Alberta+Dinosaur+Museum, Big+Valley+Creation+Science+Museum, Taylor+University+College, Taylor+College+and+Seminary, science, Center+for+Inquiry

Launchpad McQuack

Launchpad McQuack is a character introduced in the 1990s Disney Afternoon cartoon “DuckTales”, and then “Darkwing Duck.”

Meeting Launchpad is very hit or miss, more miss nowadays.  In Florida, he is sometimes at the Toontown train station.  At Animal Kingdom, he’s been outside of the park once in the last few years that we can find.  So good luck, but ask just in case!

Have you met Launchpad anywhere?

Darkwing Duck is the lead hero from the Disney Afternoon’s 1991 cartoon of the same name.

Darkwing is hard to find, as he is an older character.  Tipsters say he can be seen randomly – very randomly – behind the tent area in Mickey’s Toontown at the Magic Kingdom, as he is often used as a training character.  Ask when you get to the park if he’ll be out, to save you a hunt.

We have no info of him outside of Florida.  Any help?

Wie wäre es mal wieder mit einer kleinen Zeitreise in die eigene Kindheit?

Keine Panik, nur gedanklich und auch nur angenehme Erinnerungen Angestiftet wurde ich durch eine Zugabe auf einem kleinen Konzert neulich. Die Band sollte noch einen weiteren Song spielen und das Publikum (bestehened aus Naturwissenschafts-Studenten) wünschte sich den Titelsong der “Gummibärenbande”, den es dann auch in einer modernisierten Metal-Version zu hören bekam.

Ich hab die Serie damals auch geschaut – ich glaube, sie lief im Rahmen der Disney Show. Es war eine von diesen guten alten Zeichentrickserien, die man noch ohne Zweifel einem Kind empfehlen konnte.

Dann waren da natürlich noch Chip & Chap, die ich auch regelmässig geschaut habe:

Auch hiervon hab ich kaum eine Folge versäumt. Nebenbei habe ich auch die alten “Lustiges Taschenbuch”-Comics gelesen, weiß aber gar nicht mehr, welches von beidem zuerst

Und noch eine Serie, die ich fast vergessen habe: Balu und seine Crew:

Hier noch etwas für die “coolen” Jungs von damals: Darwing Duck:

Und dann war da noch Mila. Eines der ersten Anime, die ich kannte, weiß aber gar nicht mehr, wie ich dazu gekommen bin – ist ja eigentlich ne Mädchenserie gewesen *g*

Was sind eure Zeichentrick-Erinnerungen an die Kindheit? Eine Liste von alten Zeichentrickserien gibts (natürlich) auf Wikipedia. Stöbert doch mal und schwelgt in Erinnerungen und schreibt vielleicht einen Kommentar.

The early ’90s was a much different time for television. With cable and satellite still gaining a foothold, there weren’t nearly as many channels. Broadcast TV was insanely profitable, and in this time before demographics ruled the ratings, kids were an excellent target audience. This business model is how America ended up with nearly a decade of “The Disney Afternoon” block of animated series. Here are my five favorites (completely subjective; feel free to defend your own favorites in the comments).

Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers

Far and away my favorite. Here you have two chipmunks, two mice, and a fly solving mysteries and MacGyvering crap out of common household products. This show likely had a heavy influence in my enjoyment of mysteries of all kinds to this day. Also, there was an awesome NES video game.

DuckTales

One of the richest and most monetized entries in the anthology, appropriate given its protagonist, the miserly Scrooge McDuck, forced to care for his three troublemaking great-nephews when their uncle joins the Navy. The series spawned a handful of made-for-TV films, participated in that asinine All-Stars to the Rescue special, launched two spinoffs, and even saw a theatrical release. It did not occur to me until much later how ridiculous the concept of swimming through pennies would be — like, how are you supposed to breathe and/or not be crushed?

Darkwing Duck

The first (and best) DuckTales spinoff, Darkwing Duck was your classic masked crusader caper. One needs a secret identity and loads of gadgets when one’s secret lair is inside a bridge, after all. The darker tone here marked a shift toward older kids and tweens, which would be further teased out in Gargoyles.

Gargoyles

I must have had something else going on by the time this one rolled out, because I remember having lots of trouble keeping up with it day-to-day. Serialized cartoons were unusual for The Disney Afternoon, and this one played almost like an animated soap at points. But it was ambitious, and didn’t talk down to its presumably young audience, who would eventually end up watching similarly themed stuff on The WB and SciFi.

TaleSpin

My final pick was this awesome nod to the past (early 20th century setting) and the future (corporate synergy is now the new world order, no?), adapting characters from Disney’s The Jungle Book and casting the voice of Sally Struthers to run a bush pilot operation (I feel like this is before she started shilling for the starving kids). The sociopolitical parallels were surely lost on children other than me, but kudos to the folks behind this show for trying to keep the adults interested too.

RUNNER UP | Goof Troop, in which Goofy and his son Max had ridiculous adventures with their next door neighbors and respective best friends, Pete and PJ. The feature film A Goofy Movie outshined the series; its sequel…was direct-to-video.

Pardon my absence.

I don’t really have any good excuse.

I’ve been playing video games, lying on my bed, in my room for untold hours a day.

Well that and trying to find a job.

“Come back in 3 months when you’re really pathetic.” seemed to be the message of the people in my alma mater’s career development, who very nicely told me to “keep looking, keep positive and talk to everyone you know.”

We stared down my resume together in the career office as I looked down the list of internships marking off mentally why I wouldn’t be calling them for jobs.

1. Only worked three days where no one liked me.

Check.

2. Laid off (with rest of interns, to be fair) and then when asked for feedback was told “Stop smelling so bad”.

Check.

3. Had the director call me on the phone leaving angry voicemails about my inability to properly pack boxes.

Check.

4. Director was sleeping with real estate agent of place we were squatting illegally and job was suspended for a week to put up leaflets about her missing dog.

Super check–that may be the worst one.

“Be positive.” The nice woman told me. “Just let them know where you are in the world. You may think they might not like you, but hey, it’s been years. Who knows what they think now?”

***

“So what are you doing now?”

A family friend had been instructed to “reach out to me” to talk about life in the entertainment industry.

“Well, I graduated college about a week ago.” I responded.

“Ah,” He interjected. “Go no further. I know what you’re doing. Sitting on your couch and getting drunk at 2pm. Don’t worry, man. I was there.”

And that seems to be the expectation of me, generally speaking.

Less of “Why-don’t -you-get-a-job?” and more like “Well-you’re-fucked-in-this-economy-anyway-oh-look-at-the-time-ttyl.”

But this sort of attitutde is dangerous, because it seems like the less-and-less structured time I have, the more I devolve in to the last known state of unstructured free time I ever had: childhood.

***

“But do they ever actually eat pizza?” Rob asked me.

We had settled down in his lunch break, editing a cooking show for bachelors/Jews, to watching the opening of “Samurai Pizza Cats” just for me to prove to Rob they were real.

“But I don’t get it.” Rob told me. “I get the reference to TMNT, but do they actually eat pizza?”

“Well, uh, yeah.” I countered. “Didn’t you see it in the intro? They were eating pizzas, like at the end there.”

“No.” Rob responded with a sigh. “They were not eating pizzas. They were getting them ready to be delivered.”

“Well, I think I remember them eating pizzas.”

“Nick,” Rob turned to me. “They’re cats.”

“Samurai Pizza Cats.” I reminded him.

“Cats.” Rob continued. “All they eat in the intro are fish. Because they’re cats. Cats don’t eat pizza.”

I was less certain.

“But they’re Pizza Cats.” I offered.

Rob sighed, unwilling to take on this sort of folly.

I sat back a bit.

“Let’s go to Muppet Babies.” Rob offered, conciliatory.

I obliged and we watched that into on YouTube.

“Hey!” Rob declared. “Isn’t that scene from Ghostbusters?”

“I bet they owed Jim Henson favors.” I offered.

“Probably blow.” Rob offered up and gave his beard a scratch, a beard he hadn’t shaved despite 82-degree weather.

“Hey, one of the commenters thought Miss Piggy was saying ‘just close your eyes and beat your meat and you can be anywhere.”

“Actually that’s pretty disturbing.” Rob pointed out.

An awkward silence.

More beard-scratching.

We ran the gamut in that room, going next to Warner Brothers and skipping some worthy Nickelodeon, but not before checking over the worthy DuckTales and the inter-related Darkwing Duck.

This prompted more conversation.

“So what was Scrooge Duck’s relationship to Donald Duck?” Rob asked. “And was Donald Duck also Darkwing Duck.”

“No, fuck no.” I told him. “Look, Darkwing Duck doesn’t even look like Donald. And Scrooge is Donald’s Uncle. Ditto those little ducks from the show.”

We kept watching.

“Can you believe they actually made a show called Chip and Dale, Rescue Rangers?” I asked. “They’re fucking chipmunks.”

“What the fuck are they supposed to do? Eat nuts and get rabies? And then eventually get run over by some hick on a service road?”

“Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip and Dale! Rescue Range-as!” Rob offered, with an olympics-style fist-raise.

From there, it was the usual stuff we’d seen before: Tiny Toon Adventures, to Animaniacs to eventual spinoffs Pinky and the Brain and Freakazoid!

“I used to want to be that dude from Freakazoid.” I said. “‘Nerd computer-case.’ I think it was because he was funny and got off-putting girls.”

“That or a brilliant marketing strategy.” Rob replied. “I used to watch Histeria.”

“What”

“Histeria. History show.”

I had forgotten, but when we stumbled on it on YouTube, it came back.

I remember it as a late-coming show, probably the last one on before the weird sports-programming came on Saturday mornings. It wasn’t bad, another Animaniacs spin-off, though the rest were Spielberg related and this wasn’t.

“I think these shows might be the best things Spielberg ever did.” I said.

“Saving Private Ryan? The Color Purple? Jaws?” Rob listed.

“Lame.” I said. “This had more effect on us than any of those shit-holes.”

A pause to reflect on our childhood.

“Now kids are watching Hannah Montana at their age.” Rob said, considering beardily.

“They must be getting very confused. Which one’s Hannah and which one’s Montana.”

“Word.” I replied.

“You know what really killed this shit.” I said. “Pokemon.”

“Yeah, it did.” Rob conceded. “Fucking Pokemon.”

Anime’s popularization did signal the end of great-humored shows by Warner Brothers, shifting the playing field to Japanese imports or to ahows which seemed like them, shows with a lot of action like Static Shock or The Batman.

“Must be why this generation’s so damn dumb.” I offerd, but by that time I fet old and codgery and it was time for Rob to start editing and any attempts at cajoling or beard-stroking were met with vicious swats and groans and finally I went back, back, the end of my day.

***

It’s a little ironic I named this post after video games.

In reality, I did spend more time playing them yesterday than talking with Rob or Career Development.

But there’s just less to talk about.

Video games are like a black hole for time; your creativity and energy shuts off; they eventually even pervade your dreams.

This is why they are great as a way to unwind and poor as a way to spend unstructured time; because it disappears before you know it.

But I’m not in it for the long haul; a shut-in like those people in Japan who become agoraphobic playing MMORPGs prefering the world of the interior to the metropolis without.

I’m just trying to find some other way to sink my time.

Or to not regress past 7.

That’s when I watched Power Rangers.

Ig.

Dear Vjesci !

You can’t believe you are getting a note from me. I can talk on the telephone pretty good but can’t get around to wright a letter. I had a pretty good year at the farm the crop was good, I hired a lot of my work done. So I didn’t do much myself. Right now I have a bad cold in chest had it for about a week. We got a lot of snow, got some more last night. It has been cold about 10- here last night. I haven’t been anyware lately. Would like to see Joe but it is about 900 miles down there. He is still working on cars. He calls once in a while. I got a different car a while ago. 1998 cavalier nice 4 cylender easy on gas real clean. Got it for 2000 was good. So Irma don’t work anymore she helps a few people once in a while. I guess I got your telephone number. Call after 6:00 your time. Well see ya hope you get in time for your birthday.

Wright when you can

Love Donald

.circa february MMVIII.

Gemstone Publishing’s line of Disney comics has come to an end. Someone else will doubtlessly pick up the license, but when they do, can they escape the same mistakes Gemstone made? This week, I talk about how to make Disney Comics that work.

Everything But Imaginary #301: How to Make the Mouseworks Work
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